The Nazi Zombie Cyborg Accord
UNDERSTANDING that many nations utilize cybernetic enhancement as a military tool,
RESPECTING the sovereignty of nations to develop new weapons,
CONCERNED, however, at the ethical and logical application of these weapons,
SHITTING BRICKS at the thought of the cyborgs becoming zombified,
FURTHER SHITTING BRICKS at the idea of these zombified cyborgs being Nazis, either prior to creation or indoctrinated post-cyborgification,
DEFINING the following terms:
a. Cybernetic as technology that fuses with living tissue to enhance a living being’s physical or mental characteristics beyond that of the average creature’s species abilities.
b. Cyborg as a living creature that has been permanently bonded and enhanced with machinery.
c. Cyborgification as the process of creating a cyborg or cybernetically enhanced creature,
d. Nazi as a member of a National Socialist party with emphasis on racial superiority, ideological and religious repression, and an unusual affinity for jackboots.
e. Zombie as a creature that feasts on living flesh, with no goal other then to extinguish life, that can transmit the condition upon biting or further transfer of liquids, generally corpse-like.
f. Zombification as the process of creating, infecting, or transforming a creature into a zombie.
g. Defining abortion as the removal of the fetus from the womb of the mother during pregnancy,
DEMANDS nations refrain from creating any form of Nazi Zombie Cyborg,
ESTABLISHES the Nazi Zombie Cyborg Committee (NZCC) as a committee to monitor nations weapons development to keep states from creating Nazi zombie cyborgs,
CREATES the Nazi Zombie Cyborg Idealogical Sub-committee to encourage nations to research and utilize less destructive ideologies in their Zombie Cyborg programs,
VERY STRONGLY ENCOURAGES that states not at war with each other work together to form international Anti-Nazi Zombie Cyborg Response units with the goal of safely destroying and Nazi zombie cyborgs found within member nations’ borders or under any member nation’s control,
CREATES the Nazi Zombie Cyborg Removal and Disposal Sub-committee (NZCRD) of the NZCC to research and disseminate information regarding the destruction and disposal techniques and tactics for various forms of Nazi zombie cyborgs,
MANDATES that abortions of infants suspected of being Nazi zombies, Nazi cyborgs, or zombie cyborgs be mandatory in all member nations, to prevent the protection of the creation of these creatures by hiding them behind abortion-related legislation,
CREATES the Nazi Zombie Cyborg Infant Screening Committee (NZCISC) to scan every single pregnant sapient creature within member nations to detect any combination of Nazi, zombie, or cyborg within the womb of the pregnant individual,
DEMANDS that member-states fund the NZCISC facilities within their borders,
STRONGLY URGES nations to participate in Weasel Stomping Day, to maintain international unity and moral in light of these dangerous weapons.
Thoughts?
