The World Assembly Strangers' Bar

[Goddess Relief Office]

Er... that's... not my predecessor, he's already been, ummm, sent home. No idea what that malodorous mass on the floor is, but it does appear to be snoring....

Would you like me to cast a vanishing spell on that, and then a transport spell to have it reappear at the residence of your choice?

o.o

[Wrapper]

Would you like me to cast a vanishing spell on that, and then a transport spell to have it reappear at the residence of your choice?

Ari briefly contemplates the offer. He can think of an ambassador or two -- or perhaps an ex-ambassador or two -- who could use a good scare.

Mel inches as far away from the body as she can
*Uh, an undead that snores!*
Felicia quickly downs her bottle of rum in shock and reaches for another

Uh, ha... hang on a minute, let's not put down the undead. I mean, we have humans, bears, faeries, gods and goddesses, kings and queens and emperors, the sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wastoids, dweebies, dickheads, and... whatever that thing is over there that just walked in. Why not zombie ambassadors too?

Ari rolls the mass over. It is wearing the remnants of an ambassador's pin, with the identification portion of it broken away. The being begins to stir.

Ah, see? Not a zombie, just a drunken... ummm... thing. Anyone recognize it?

[Normlpeople]

Hi... ummm, Ari. Ari Alaz, new Wrapperian ambassador. Nice to meet you... er, sorry, still learning everyone's name.

Clover smiled at the newcomer. "Hi, I'm Clover. Welcome to the Snake Pit, and the alcoholic refuge that make it bearable to many. My advice is leave, quickly, while you still can. Otherwise, grab a drink!"

[Alqania]

Princess Christine glided into the bar with an abundance of grace and regal composure, quickly navigating between the tables like a ship in good wind, giving the assembled representatives, clerks, kittens, mysterious cacti, nefarious creatures from the frozen hell pits of Antarctic Oasis and Dr Castro due attention with a few appropriate nods and innocuous winks, approached the counter and lightly soared onto a stool while greeting Neville with a gentle smile.

Well, that was what the Princess thought she was doing. Had the story been told from another perspective, the clearly inebriated Princess and Deputy Ambassador would perhaps have been portrayed in a less flattering manner.

"A coffee, please", she ordered, which was just as well, as it was doubtful that she ought to be served any alcohol at the moment. In her current state of mind, she had some trouble recollecting exactly how much time she had been gone. The spring holiday suddenly seemed to have lasted longer than ever before and the Princess was struck by an odd sensation that she ought to have kept up with the goings-on in the bar during her absence, as if this establishment was some kind of home that she had a social obligation to keep herself informed of.

Deciding that she ought at least to acquaint herself with the unfamiliar person next to her, Christine turned around and cheerfully greeted whomever it was: "Hello, I don't believe we've been properly introduced. Princess Christine of Alqania, Her Majesty's Deputy Ambassador."

[Kingdom of the Polar Bear]

Princess Christine glided into the bar with an abundance of grace and regal composure, quickly navigating between the tables like a ship in good wind, giving the assembled representatives, clerks, kittens, mysterious cacti, nefarious creatures from the frozen hell pits of Antarctic Oasis and Dr Castro due attention with a few appropriate nods and innocuous winks, approached the counter and lightly soared onto a stool while greeting Neville with a gentle smile.

Well, that was what the Princess thought she was doing. Had the story been told from another perspective, the clearly inebriated Princess and Deputy Ambassador would perhaps have been portrayed in a less flattering manner.

"A coffee, please", she ordered, which was just as well, as it was doubtful that she ought to be served any alcohol at the moment. In her current state of mind, she had some trouble recollecting exactly how much time she had been gone. The spring holiday suddenly seemed to have lasted longer than ever before and the Princess was struck by an odd sensation that she ought to have kept up with the goings-on in the bar during her absence, as if this establishment was some kind of home that she had a social obligation to keep herself informed of.

Deciding that she ought at least to acquaint herself with the unfamiliar person next to her, Christine turned around and cheerfully greeted whomever it was: "Hello, I don't believe we've been properly introduced. Princess Christine of Alqania, Her Majesty's Deputy Ambassador."

Aurora looked over an said, "um, hello. I'm Aurora Henderson. Ambassador to the Impreial Pony Empire of the Kingdom of the Polar Bear. Yes, I'm half bear half human. But I don't bite," she smiled awkwardly and said to herself, "that was the stupidest greeting ever!"

[Alqania]

Aurora looked over an said, "um, hello. I'm Aurora Henderson. Ambassador to the Impreial Pony Empire of the Kingdom of the Polar Bear. Yes, I'm half bear half human. But I don't bite," she smiled awkwardly and said to herself, "that was the stupidest greeting ever!"

"Half and half? And I thought Your Excellency was a whole person!" Christine commented jovially. "You know, I have a feeling I have seen you in here before, but we haven't actually talked, have we?" The Princess sipped her coffee.

[Kingdom of the Polar Bear]

Aurora looked over an said, "um, hello. I'm Aurora Henderson. Ambassador to the Impreial Pony Empire of the Kingdom of the Polar Bear. Yes, I'm half bear half human. But I don't bite," she smiled awkwardly and said to herself, "that was the stupidest greeting ever!"

"Half and half? And I thought Your Excellency was a whole person!" Christine commented jovially. "You know, I have a feeling I have seen you in here before, but we haven't actually talked, have we?" The Princess sipped her coffee.

"You probley have, I don't talk with other people much. I'm kind of socially awkward. Yet I'm an Ambassador. And yep, half and half, my fater was a Polar Bear and my mother a human. I have Human female parts, with all this fur on me people probly think I'm a transgendered Yeti ha ha!" Aurora said laughing at her joke at the end.

[Alqania]

"You probley have, I don't talk with other people much. I'm kind of socially awkward. Yet I'm an Ambassador. And yep, half and half, my fater was a Polar Bear and my mother a human. I have Human female parts, with all this fur on me people probly think I'm a transgendered Yeti ha ha!" Aurora said laughing at her joke at the end.

If she had been sober, Christine probably would have wondered what business of hers it was what kind of genitalia a foreign Ambassador had, but right now, she thought the "transgendered Yeti" description sounded kind of hot. The Princess took another sip of her coffee and another look at the Ambassador.

"So, when you're not sitting here being socially awkward, what do you usually do?"

[Kingdom of the Polar Bear]

"You probley have, I don't talk with other people much. I'm kind of socially awkward. Yet I'm an Ambassador. And yep, half and half, my fater was a Polar Bear and my mother a human. I have Human female parts, with all this fur on me people probly think I'm a transgendered Yeti ha ha!" Aurora said laughing at her joke at the end.

If she had been sober, Christine probably would have wondered what business of hers it was what kind of genitalia a foreign Ambassador had, but right now, she thought the "transgendered Yeti" description sounded kind of hot. The Princess took another sip of her coffee and another look at the Ambassador.

"So, when you're not sitting here being socially awkward, what do you usually do?"

"It varies, I will ether be in my office back in my nations capital city of Bearhamton. Or I will be here voteing on resolutions being passed by other people in the WA. And the other place I would be at if I'm not in either locations, is my house in Bearhamton. Doing whatever I feel like doing at home," Aurora paused and took a Sip of her drink and said, "In totally unrelated news, my little sister is dateing the former king of my country. It's kind of funny really, everyone is like, 'OH MY GOD!' And here I am like, 'pfft, I could smell it from a mile away!'"

[Draica]

Ambassador Tung once more walks into the bar once more. His days of being an Ambassador were numbered due to Retherfold having to leave office soon. He sat down in a chair and ordered himself Green tea. As he waited for his drink, he looked around and observed the bar.

"I'm going to miss this place.."

[Rotwood]

Mel looks sidelong at Ambassador Tung
*I'm under aged. What's your excuse for not drinking?*

[Draica]

Mel looks sidelong at Ambassador Tung
*I'm under aged. What's your excuse for not drinking?*

Tung chuckled for a moment before turning towards the other Ambassador

"I don't fancy getting drunk. Plus I'm being decomissioned soon, so it's no use."

[The Palentine]

The good but unwholesome Senator Sulla strode purposely into the bar. He found a empty table. Striding to the bar he said to the assistant barkeep,
"Jimmy old boy! It appears I've been challenged to a drink off. My opponents will probally arrive soon. We'll start off with something easy. So Send about three Blue Marlins to my table. Then go see Neville and see if he can mix up the most wickedly high quality and even higher proof drinks he can and start sending them to the table."
Senator Sulla reaches for his wallet and pulls out some bill and hands a C-note to Jimmy and a wad of additional c-notes.
"The C-note is for you and your efforts. The rest is for Neville and Violet....and If I find out you didn't give the cash to them, I'll cut your bollocks off!"

The good but unwholesome senator strides to his table.

[Separatist Peoples]

Mel looks sidelong at Ambassador Tung
*I'm under aged. What's your excuse for not drinking?*

Tung chuckled for a moment before turning towards the other Ambassador

"I don't fancy getting drunk. Plus I'm being decomissioned soon, so it's no use."

"Not fancying inebriation is the cause of most dismissals and decommissionings here. Did the obviously morally superior Draican citizenry finally sicken of the ape-brained, jackbooted liberals of the World Assembly stomping on their freedoms, then?"

[Draica]

Tung chuckled for a moment before turning towards the other Ambassador

"I don't fancy getting drunk. Plus I'm being decomissioned soon, so it's no use."

"Not fancying inebriation is the cause of most dismissals and decommissionings here. Did the obviously morally superior Draican citizenry finally sicken of the ape-brained, jackbooted liberals of the World Assembly stomping on their freedoms, then?"

"No. The citizenry of Draica, along with my boss Timothy Retherfold, voted me out of office. Infact my replacement is already here. I might as well head back to Draica, no business sticking around here.

Ambassador Bell, I will say this, even though we have had our disagreements you are most certainly an intelligent man. A liberal, but an intelligent one. I applaud you for being just that." Tung said, smiling.

[Separatist Peoples]

"No. The citizenry of Draica, along with my boss Timothy Retherfold, voted me out of office. Infact my replacement is already here. I might as well head back to Draica, no business sticking around here.

Ambassador Bell, I will say this, even though we have had our disagreements you are most certainly an intelligent man. A liberal, but an intelligent one. I applaud you for being just that." Tung said, smiling.

"Harsh that you'd lose your commission entirely and not simply reassigned. Or left in place. Does a regime change in Draica usually involve replacement of diplomatic and administrative staff, or are you an elected official?

"I do have a gift, though," Bell pulls out a thick, leather-bound tome with silvered pages. In an austere font, the title Wirriam-Mebster's Dictionary to the English Language.

"I've marked the page defining "liberalism" for you. We're never too young to learn about something we've been totally wrong about for ages, right? I do hope you stick around to train your replacement. Breaking in totally unprepared ambassadors is never easy."

[Applebania]

Joshua enters the bar.
"So, Mr Tung, you're leaving?"

[Draica]

"No. The citizenry of Draica, along with my boss Timothy Retherfold, voted me out of office. Infact my replacement is already here. I might as well head back to Draica, no business sticking around here.

Ambassador Bell, I will say this, even though we have had our disagreements you are most certainly an intelligent man. A liberal, but an intelligent one. I applaud you for being just that." Tung said, smiling.

"Harsh that you'd lose your commission entirely and not simply reassigned. Or left in place. Does a regime change in Draica usually involve replacement of diplomatic and administrative staff, or are you an elected official?

"I do have a gift, though," Bell pulls out a thick, leather-bound tome with silvered pages. In an austere font, the title Wirriam-Mebster's Dictionary to the English Language.

"I've marked the page defining "liberalism" for you. We're never too young to learn about something we've been totally wrong about for ages, right? I do hope you stick around to train your replacement. Breaking in totally unprepared ambassadors is never easy."

Tung extends his right arm out and grabs the Dictionary and stuffs it in his leather bag.

"I'm sure the new President will have me stick me around to have me do something with Draican-Assembly affairs. Though I'm not hopeful that'lll be a major role."

Joshua enters the bar.
"So, Mr Tung, you're leaving?"

"Sadly, yes. I shall miss you and your-...Odd views, Ambassador."

[Applebania]

Joshua sits down at a table, and orders a traditional Applebanian non-alchoholic beverage.
"I am a rather odd person, yes. Perhaps that's why the Imperial family chose me for the job!"
After receiving the drink, Joshua hands a letter to Ambassador Tung.
"Give my regards to Mr Retherford."

[Defwa]

Angela clacks in to the bar on her high heels, almost stomping.
She orders one her regular vodka martinis and a tray of shots which she viciously defends against those who think she's about to share.

"By the wizards, that man," she scoffs, "Definitely never a fan, Tung but your replacement- Steamblaster or whatever is possibly the most offensive being I have ever seen. Its no wonder so few nations take the Church of Wizards seriously."

[Draica]

Angela clacks in to the bar on her high heels, almost stomping.
She orders one her regular vodka martinis and a tray of shots which she viciously defends against those who think she's about to share.

"By the wizards, that man," she scoffs, "Definitely never a fan, Tung but your replacement- Steamblaster or whatever is possibly the most offensive being I have ever seen. Its no wonder so few nations take the Church of Wizards seriously."

"Believe me, I know...." Tung rolled his eyes. He wasn't enjoying this at all.

[Kaalakiota Corporation]

The CEO walks in, obviously tired after a long argument.

"Well, thats the 24th time somebody tried to repeal NAPA; with the standard terrible argument of "We need more peace talks!""

The CEO-Ambassador then decides to order a glass of 176 proof vodka.

"Well, time to drink away my sorrows, and I have a LOT of sorrows." "To a highly inefficient bureaucracy!"

[Great Zavi]

Esther, a tall, beautiful woman and leader of The United People of Great Zavi, walks in with a fierce essence. Her hair flies in the wind, quasi-model, and she sits gracefully in her cornered booth. She closes her eyes. Exhales. She opens her eyes, but slowly and with great suspense. The air stirs as Esther inhales in a rather masculine fashion; an expression of a predator lunging for its prey appears on her face.

"I need a drink! I am sick and tired of these god-damn people stopping me from getting my drink! It's all a woman wants!"

She sits in silence briefly and then stands from her booth. In a rather obnoxious tone, she announces...

"I will get myself a beer. No more with that damned, pompous wine and champagne"

Esther proceeds to the bar, her graceful-model essence has been replaced by a monstrous resonant. She still looks beautiful, ironically.

"Please, just please get me a cold Beer."

She sips, with her grace returning, in silence.

[Frustrated Franciscans]

Three Franciscan Friars enter the bar. The saunter to the bar, taking seats on the stools. One of them, the last one to sit, speaks.

"Friar John would like a Frangelico on the rocks; and leave the bottle on the counter for a moment; he loves to see the bottle."
"Friar Tuck would like a nice Red wine; you wouldn't happen to have Châteauneuf-du-Pape by any chance?"
"And as for me, the humble Brother Maynard, Third Order Regular, my goodness, I'll have a Guinness!"

[Louisistan]

Very slowly, Max climbed down the stairs connecting his office to the bar. He hadn't been to the WA in a very long time. Now that the unpredictable dumbasses running Louisistan had suddenly decided to rejoin the WA, he was suddenly forced to return here. As long as Louisistan had only been an observer, no one had noticed his absence.

He looked around the bar, desperatly trying to find someone he knew. But since there was no one to be seen, he approached the bar and sat down.Pensively, he said to the bartender: "I would like a Gin and Tonic please. Southern Lakeview Gin if you have it. Any cheap tonic water will do..."

Then he started to mumble to himself: "Why on earth am I back here?"