The World Assembly Strangers' Bar

[United Warrisons]

Quietly noting the events that took place in the bar, the Warrisonian President shook his head slightly and turned back to face the bar. A quick look at the counter revealed that his ordered drink was not yet made ready. Taking a deep sigh, he chose to occupy his thoughts with other things until his drink would finally be ready. What to think, what to think... thought Usef, stroking his chin as he shifted his position on the rather comfortable stool.

Just then, the drummer in a wheelchair who was following him around started tapping his drums randomly causing Usef to glare at him. It was futile, for the drummer continued, and Usef now not only had nothing to do, but had to listen to a drummer who couldn't drum and was stalking him around for no reason. Got it! I will... socialize! I hope conversation is started the same way here as in the Republic. thought Usef as he pushed himself off the stool and wandered around the bar slowly, looking for someone, anyone to talk with... Anyone except the drummer.

Then he noticed someone, who was looking around at the females in the bar. Hmm, perhaps he would be a good conversation partner. thought Usef, absentmindedly stroking his chin before heading off in the direction of that man. Looking carefully, he noticed the man looked somewhat familar... A citizen of WerePenguins, perhaps? thought Usef.

"Greetings fellow human! How is thy day faring in this bar?" said Usef, standing a feet away from the man.

[Retired WerePenguins]

After some hard thinking, she tried to stand up. It took several tries, but she eventually managed it. Stripping off her blouse was far more difficult, due to the fact that her fingers and the buttons didn't seem to want to meet up. But she eventually managed the strip the garment off, throw it in the air, shout "Woohooo!", and then gently fold down and pass out under the table. It wasn't long before not-so-faint snoring started sounding from beneath the table.

James Blonde turned but tried hard not to stare. "Well," he thought, "that was too easy." Nudity was common in Retired WerePenguins, especially in the city where WerePenguins would walk naked to the exits of the domed city to turn into penguins before stepping out into the frigid outside world. He turned to the bartender. She was definitely going to need help and he was the perfect gentleman to offer it.

[Retired WerePenguins]

"Personally I think she developed the ability to sleep anywhere by sneaking in naps during the WA debates, before she was required to take a more active role in the debates themselves," the ambassadorial secretary Johan Milkus says apologetically, as he and another aide to the ambassador carry the still unconscious and still snoring woman out of the bar.

James turns to Johan Milkus and hands him a small bottle and a large bottle. "Here is some five hour energy and a large bottle of water with necessary salts. The former is necessary because booze tends to decrease vitamin B levels in the body and this is basically a big doze of B. The later is necessary because of general dehydration that occurs because of booze intake. I'm Blonde, James Blonde, by the way,"

[Bojikami]

"Personally I think she developed the ability to sleep anywhere by sneaking in naps during the WA debates, before she was required to take a more active role in the debates themselves," the ambassadorial secretary Johan Milkus says apologetically, as he and another aide to the ambassador carry the still unconscious and still snoring woman out of the bar.

Emile chuckled a little "I don't blame her, I mean, most of the time being here can be rather dull." He nodded and realised he forgot to introduce himself. "Oh, and I'm Emile, Premier of Bojikami."

[East Klent]

Stevens had just walked in when the recent events occurred, and thus witnessing them he made a steadfast movement out of the bar and back to his office.

[Retired WerePenguins]

"Greetings fellow human! How is thy day faring in this bar?" said Usef, standing a feet away from the man.

"And Greetings to you as well," James replied. "The day is faring very well, so far. Assuming that topless women passing out drunk is considered 'well' and not a moral catastrophe. I'm Blonde, James Blonde. I'm actually relatively new here, although our nation has been a member in good standing in the WA for years now." James smiled. He didn't mention how happy he was that his Adelie Penguin staff were still in the debating chamber. He certainly wasn't going to mention that, unlike normal "humans" he could literally turn into an Emperor Penguin.

[Louisistan]

Clearly annoyed with the level of noise produced by the Warrisonian drummer, Max Schneider starts shouting rather aggressively at him: "WILL YOU SHUT YOUR FUCKING DRUMS UP?! I CAN'T TAKE THIS NOISE ANYMORE! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?! PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO DRINK HERE!!!! JUST STOP THE DRUMMING, ALREADY! JEEEEEZUS CHRIST!!!"

Schneider wasn't really a religious man, but was very fond of using religious references while cursing. He turned back to the bar. "You there, Barman! I need three shots of Louisistanian Schnaps, two beers and another scotch, on the double!

[United Warrisons]

"Greetings fellow human! How is thy day faring in this bar?" said Usef, standing a feet away from the man.

"And Greetings to you as well," James replied. "The day is faring very well, so far. Assuming that topless women passing out drunk is considered 'well' and not a moral catastrophe. I'm Blonde, James Blonde. I'm actually relatively new here, although our nation has been a member in good standing in the WA for years now." James smiled. He didn't mention how happy he was that his Adelie Penguin staff were still in the debating chamber. He certainly wasn't going to mention that, unlike normal "humans" he could literally turn into an Emperor Penguin.

"Usef Izbari, president of the Blessed Republic of United Warrisons. Honoured to meet you, Mr... Blonde." stated Usef, bowing slightly with a hand on his chest to the other man as was the standard formal social protocol to do in the Blessed Republic.

Deciding to continue to the conversation, he briefly debated exactly what topic of conversation he should continue. Sometimes he regretted not having a social life outside the office. "A rather uncommon sight if I might say, especially in the U.W where many are devout followers of Shepism." commented Usef.A few moments of pause were enough to thrust him into his own thoughts again, and making him wonder about the strange social conventions of the world outside U.W. Perhaps the Warrisonian parliament was right in asking him, or more like forcing him, to go on vacation.

Clearly annoyed with the level of noise produced by the Warrisonian drummer, Max Schneider starts shouting rather aggressively at him: "WILL YOU SHUT YOUR FUCKING DRUMS UP?! I CAN'T TAKE THIS NOISE ANYMORE! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?! PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO DRINK HERE!!!! JUST STOP THE DRUMMING, ALREADY! JEEEEEZUS CHRIST!!!"

Schneider wasn't really a religious man, but was very fond of using religious references while cursing. He turned back to the bar. "You there, Barman! I need three shots of Louisistanian Schnaps, two beers and another scotch, on the double!

Usef was still in thought when someone's voice shook him out of his thoughts. Or rather, the terrible English spoken by the drummer in a wheelchair that was following him and just wouldn't let him be. Loud sniffs could be heard from the drummer, and tears fell from his eyes as he sang.

"Ay ay, nibody likes me singies end drummies but way ya wanna me stop ralling? Zo lit me yall again." sang the drummer, tapping his drums even louder. "YAYAYAYA. Nibody likes me in da wheelie, wheelie singie drummies be good bat nibody likes me payin' da drumbabas!"

Great. thought Usef bitterly, wishing something, anything to drown out that noise. I am far too dignified to bash my head against this counter until I pass out... what to do, what to do? pondered Usef before getting a brilliant idea.

"So.... say Mr... Blonde, what do you believe to be the most dignified and respectful way to pass out?" asked Usef, taking a seat near James Blonde.

[Louisistan]

"NOOOO! FUCK IT!!" Max shouted. He downed the two Schnaps, then drank down the first beer in one chug. He burped, then took the second beer and proceeded to do the same. Once finished, he had calmed down a little and looked at president Usef.

"Your Excellency, would you please care to explain why this infernal drumming is necessary?"

[The Republic of Pantalleria]

" I don't drink..." Said Arnold Anderson, the current representation of The Republic of Pantalleria in the World Assembly. "Let me just have a Sprite or juice."

[Eireann Fae]

"Gif it some time," Rowan says to Ambassador Anderson, as she signals for another Green Vesper. "Sooner later this place'll drive anyone mad 'nuff ta drink..."

[Retired WerePenguins]

"A rather uncommon sight if I might say, especially in the U.W where many are devout followers of Shepism." commented Usef. A few moments of pause were enough to thrust him into his own thoughts again, and making him wonder about the strange social conventions of the world outside U.W. Perhaps the Warrisonian parliament was right in asking him, or more like forcing him, to go on vacation.

"Do you mean being half naked or lying on your back dead drunk," James replied. "On second thought both are somewhat uncommon, I suppose. Especially in a bar; where you are a patron."

"So.... say Mr... Blonde, what do you believe to be the most dignified and respectful way to pass out?" asked Usef, taking a seat near James Blonde.

James paused. In his mind he heard a familiar voice, "No Mr. Blonde; I expect you to DIE." James smiled a moment before starting his thought out loud. "I always found a good smile before the pain of interrogation numbed all the senses was the best insult to any torturer ... oh you were talking about passing out from drinking? First of all, your opponent must pass out before you. Then after you drink your shot glass, you take your opponent's glass and drink the one he could not drink. Then you slam your head on the table; both shot glasses firmly in both hands as evidence."

[Louisistan]

An aide comes into the bar and approaches Max. She whispers something in his ear. He rolls his eyes, downs his scotch and then announces loudly: "If you'll excuse me, Ladies and Gentlemen, I have to go repeal something! Cheers!" Max and the aide leave the bar.

[East Klent]

Benjamin Mason, Vice-Delegate, was sitting in a booth when he heard a man shout, "Good heavens man, no need to exclaim what is a normal and everyday routine."

He stood up and walked over to the bar, taking Stevens' usual stool, "I'll take a scotch, Gerr... er... Neville."

[Abacathea]

Mr Chombers couldn't help but stifle a giggle.

It's going to be a good month for repeals we suspect.

He looking concernedly at his copy of the REI

As long as you last long enough for us to work the bugs out before we are faced with losing and having to reincarnate you.... Ah fuck it....Neville! Two shots of whatevers the strongest ass kicker you have behind that bar. Don't be greedy with the ass kickingness either.... we've earned it.

[Potted Plants United]

An unobtrusive cactus sat in a sturdy plantpot on the bar counter, hoping that nobody would pay any attention to the finer-than-hair roots it had spread here and there to mop up any spilled drinks. So far it had had to self-amputate one branch of such a root system, after accidentally absorbing something... well, something. Whatever it had been, it had affected the potted plants' collective consciousness, and some heated, well, not words as such, but meaningful thoughts had been exchanged. The liquid substance had ended up being added to the very short "not allowed to consume" list, right next to "sentient beings".

This is what it looks like. The fact that the species name is Parodia magnifica was just too good to pass up.

[Bojikami]

Emile lights a cigar and puts on his coat, he sits on a stool and tries to clear his mind.

[Abacathea]

An unobtrusive cactus sat in a sturdy plantpot on the bar counter, hoping that nobody would pay any attention to the finer-than-hair roots it had spread here and there to mop up any spilled drinks. So far it had had to self-amputate one branch of such a root system, after accidentally absorbing something... well, something. Whatever it had been, it had affected the potted plants' collective consciousness, and some heated, well, not words as such, but meaningful thoughts had been exchanged. The liquid substance had ended up being added to the very short "not allowed to consume" list, right next to "sentient beings".

This is what it looks like. The fact that the species name is Parodia magnifica was just too good to pass up.

Mr Chombers observed the sentient plant

I wonder... how a plant like that, managed to eat an aide....better off not questioning it, lest it decide to educate us....

[Potted Plants United]

Mr Chombers observed the sentient plant

I wonder... how a plant like that, managed to eat an aide....better off not questioning it, lest it decide to educate us....

OOC: There are many different plants in the collective consciousness. The one that ended up bootstrapping them to sentience by eating the Araraukarian ambassador's aide was a huge one that had practically taken over an office with 2 windows, and was capable of moving its vines fast enough to catch large moving prey. It is still one of the primary selves, when it comes to thoughts needed for communication with outsiders. The Strangers' Bar cactus is just a lush little cactus. Capable of thinking, but not communicating with outsiders.

[Abacathea]

Mr Chombers observed the sentient plant

I wonder... how a plant like that, managed to eat an aide....better off not questioning it, lest it decide to educate us....

OOC: There are many different plants in the collective consciousness. The one that ended up bootstrapping them to sentience by eating the Araraukarian ambassador's aide was a huge one that had practically taken over an office with 2 windows, and was capable of moving its vines fast enough to catch large moving prey. It is still one of the primary selves, when it comes to thoughts needed for communication with outsiders. The Strangers' Bar cactus is just a lush little cactus. Capable of thinking, but not communicating with outsiders.

Your nation genuinely scares the shit out of me....

[Potted Plants United]

Your nation genuinely scares the shit out of me....

Thank you. I'm having tons of fun with it.

Becoming aware that it was under intense scrutiny, the little unobtrusive cactus directed more nutrient flow to its sturdier roots with which it normally kept itself anchored to the bar surface. Ever so slowly those roots started moving, a hair's breadth at a time, steadily, surely and very slowly moving the whole plantpot with its inhabitant further away from the humanoid.

[Retired WerePenguins]

James enters the bar and looks, for a moment, at the cactus. He turns and orders another gin martini, shaken, not stirred.

[Abacathea]

Mr Chombers looks up, lights his usual smoke, returns to his jager and redbull, but nods to acknowledge Mr Blonde's arrival

Good crowd in here tonight.... the cactus seems moderately shy too... usually the quality of an ok pers....sentient being.....still though....what about the rest of em... Might need to speak to his Lordship about this....

[Louisistan]

The Right Honourable (and rather large breasted) Mrs. Iris Jorgsen, Lord Chancellor of Louisistan enters the bar. Calmly she looks around. "Max was right" she thinks, "this place is strange...". Nonetheless, she approaches the bar.
"Excuse me, could I have a small beer, please?"
Her eyes fall on the cactus. "Was that thing just moving? Nah, I must be hallucinating."

The bartender brings her beer and she sits down in a nearby booth.

[Louisistan]

A man wearing a head waiter's uniform enters the bar. He approaches the bar and orders a scotch.
Right behind him enters Deputy Ambassador Schulz. He approaches the Lord Chancellor and sits down opposite her.

"Are we ready to proceed, Mr. Schulz?"
"I'm afraid not your honor. We are still waiting for a ruling from the secretariat."
"Damnit, I can't be sitting around here forever, I have business to attend to!"
"Yes Ma'am... But you see, the secretariat cannot be rushed. They'll be done when their done."
She looks at him sternly
"Keep this up and you'll be done! Now go and get that thing repealed! I have half the Senate on my back willing to leave the WA if this thing stays on the books!"
The man in the waiter's uniform leaves.
"Yes your honor! Of course your honor! Right away your .... say, has that orchid always been there?"