The World Assembly Strangers' Bar

[Damanucus]

Stephanie sits bolt upright again. "Actually, you know what, I'll give Amy Maxis a try, if she is still present in the building and single. May someone be able to direct me to her"—she clears her throat—"chambers?"

"Amy Who?" Alex inquired, apparently too inebriated to remember this representative.

"The Ambassador from Post-Apocalyptica."

[New Edom]

Princess Mara came in and frankly just wanted to get drunk. She was wearing a short blue tunic dress, slightly darker blue high heeled sandals and had a small jeweled purse slung over her shoulder. "Bartender, I'll have a crantini, please." she slung herself onto a stool and checked her iphone. Messages from cousins and friends. Once she got her drink she drank it a little too fast and asked for another one.

[Radiatia]

Princess Mara came in and frankly just wanted to get drunk. She was wearing a short blue tunic dress, slightly darker blue high heeled sandals and had a small jeweled purse slung over her shoulder. "Bartender, I'll have a crantini, please." she slung herself onto a stool and checked her iphone. Messages from cousins and friends. Once she got her drink she drank it a little too fast and asked for another one.

"Do excuse me," Said Kurt Demodand to the people he was talking to.

He quickly sprayed his breath and walked over towards the Princess.

"Why hello there." He said in a oily voice. "Can I buy you a drink?"

[Murray the Evil Skull]

Insted of his nornal place on the bar by the Kawaiian Shrine of the Manifestation, Murray was sitting on a barstool, on the Bar's stage, next to a baby grand piano. A Destructor Bunny wearing a black topcoat with tails was sitting on the stool in fron of the piano. Most casual observers might notice that Murray looked a bit odd....even odder than just being a evil talking diembodied skull. For one he was smoking a cigarette in a cigarette holder. Those more familiar with the snakepit(and its denizens) soon realized, as the bunny began to play, that Murray seemed to have been hanging around with some Cobdenians. The music had a jaunty Noel Coward feel to it as Murray began to sing,

"Don't let's be beastly to the Germans,
Now our victory is ultimately won.
Let us treat them very kindly,
As we would a valued friend.
We might them out some bishops,
As a form of lease and lend.

Let's be sweet to them
And day by day repeat to them
That sterilization simply isn't done.
Let's sweetly sympathize again,
And help the scum to rise again,
But don't let's be beastly to the Hun.

We must be kind
And with an open mind,
We must endeavour to find a way
To let the Germans know
That now the war is over,
They are not the ones who have to pay.

We must be sweet
And tactful and discreet,
And now they've suffered defeat,
We mustn't let
Them feel upset,
Or ever get the feeling
That we're cross with them or hate them.
Our future policy must be to reinstate them.

Don't let's be beastuly to the Germans,
For they're civilized,
When all is said and done.
Though they gave us science, culture, art, and music, to excess,
They also gave us two world wars and Dr. Rudolph Hess.

Let's be meek to them
And turn the other cheek to them,
And try to arouse their latent sense of fun.
Let's give them full air parity,
And treat the rats with charity,
But don't let's be beastly to the Hun!

Don't let's be beastly to the Germans.
You can't deprive a gangster of his gun!
Though they've been a little naughty
To the Czechs and Poles and Dutch,
I can't believe those countries
Really minded very much.

Let's be free with them
And share the BBC with them.
We mustn't prevent them basking in the sun!
Let's soften their defeat again,
And build their bloody fleet again,
But don't let's be beastly to the Hun!"

[New Edom]

"Do excuse me," Said Kurt Demodand to the people he was talking to.

He quickly sprayed his breath and walked over towards the Princess.

"Why hello there." He said in a oily voice. "Can I buy you a drink?"

Mara glanced at him. Then she twirled her olive and said, "Sure, why not? I'm Princess Mara Obed. You're Kurt Demodand, right? From Radiata?" she extended a slim hand, her nails painted light pink. "Nice to meet you." From what she had heard this man was a corrupt bastard, a swine. This interested her; Mara found ordinary easy to deal with people rather boring. "How's tricks in the WA for you, Mr. Demodand?"

[Radiatia]

Mara glanced at him. Then she twirled her olive and said, "Sure, why not? I'm Princess Mara Obed. You're Kurt Demodand, right? From Radiata?" she extended a slim hand, her nails painted light pink. "Nice to meet you." From what she had heard this man was a corrupt bastard, a swine. This interested her; Mara found ordinary easy to deal with people rather boring. "How's tricks in the WA for you, Mr. Demodand?"

"The one and only, former Prime Minister of the Radiatian Federation." He said with a smug grin. If vanity really was a sin, then Kurt could already smell the burning flames of hell inching closer towards him. "Well, it sure beats the hell out of having to talk to those pesky courtroom types back home.

"Anyway. Enough about me. So you're a Princess? Well of course you are."

He turned to the barkeep.

"Two crantinis please! Keep the change." He added, paying in cash - simply an excuse to flaunt his wealth.

"So... Mara, if I may call you that. What's a girl like you doing in a place like this?"

[New Edom]

"Yes, Kurt you can call me Mara," she replied, smiling a bit. "And yes, I'm a Princess of House Obed. Well...I'm here because our President thought it would be a good idea for New Edom to join the World Assembly, and because he appointed me to be the Ambassador to the World Assembly. So I'm that for New Edom as well as Regional Delegate. Which seems to mostly involve me reading over proposals or at least the summations I'm given. At the moment--I'm here at the bar hoping for a little of the edge of the day to wear off. What's a former PM of Radiata doing here? Plotting the rise of the Radiatan Empire?" she asked, seemingly serious but her eyes twinkling.

[Radiatia]

"Radiatian Empire?" Gasped Kurt in mock horror. "Say it ain't so! Just look at that woman we currently have in power - we can barely run our own country let alone someone elses."

He chucked into his glass, rather liking the Princess.

"Well if you ever need a hand with those proposals... I'm always here. I'm just an Observer so I don't have that much to do really. Just get drunk and occasionally turn up to debates to make the people back home think I'm working."

He thought for a moment, looking into her eyes for just a tiny moment longer than was strictly necessary.

"You know, this is just an idea... but if you want to get some fresh air I'm staying in a hotel not too far from here. If you want to relax at all after a hard day. Or not, it's up to you."

He looked up. "Another round, please barkeep!"

[Neo Arcem]

General Kardovich did not normally attend the WA bar. He did not enjoy the music (preferring more classical tunes), disliked the drink (the vodka was not as clear as in Arcenia), and could not stand the clientele (though he did not make others aware of this last point, since he WAS a diplomat). On this particular occasion though, his preferred bar up the hill was closed for repairs following a bombing by drunken WA ambassadors, and Kardovich was not enjoying himself. Falsea had blitzed the assembly with some bills of questionable reason, but nothing worth having a good row over, and his course on WA law was proving to be more boring than listening to Hippostania debate communism. For a moment, Kardovich longed for a Queleshian bill to debate, then silenced the thought and cursed himself for weakness.

Entering the bar and gingerly hanging his military trenchcoat unto the coat rack, Kardovich eyed the more unruly side of the bar, postitioned himself at the opposite end, and told the bartender "Get me a bottle of the best vodka you have, a strainer, and a cheesecloth."

[New Edom]

Mara looked at him with wide eyes. "Oh, I love fresh air. I have my own glass bottom yacht, which is really fun. Sometime maybe I'll invite you and you can watch the finny fish swimming. But... I already have rooms of my own so...well maybe I'm just being a naive young woman but I don't really understand what you're offering..." she blinked at him innocently. "Maybe you'd be nice enough to elaborate, Kurt?"

[Quadrimmina]

"Amy Who?" Alex inquired, apparently too inebriated to remember this representative.

"The Ambassador from Post-Apocalyptica."

"Ah yes, I believe their office is here." Alex circled the Post-Apocalyptican office on a map of the WAHQ and handed it to Stephanie.

"I wish you the best of luck in your endeavor."

[Damanucus]

"The Ambassador from Post-Apocalyptica."

"Ah yes, I believe their office is here." Alex circled the Post-Apocalyptican office on a map of the WAHQ and handed it to Stephanie.

"I wish you the best of luck in your endeavor."

Stephanie took both rolled ends of the map. "Thanks," she said, and left a few Damanucan lira on the table next to the glasses.

As she walked out, she noticed Princess Mara at the bar, and licked her lips. Mmm, she looks okay, she thought, then knocked some sense into herself. No, concentrate on the task at hand: Amy Maxis. She then walked out the doors towards her office.

[Hittanryan]

A bewildered Tom strolls in through the front door. The entire bar appeared to be coated in a thick layer of dust, as though nothing significant had happened for several weeks. A skeleton in the corner wouldn't be amiss, and he wagered moss would start growing on the bar in short order. Fortunately, he saw a familiar face.

He sat himself down next to Mara and greeted her casually. "Hey princess, how's the royal thing going?"

[New Edom]

"Hey Tom, tricks are alright. Been busier than a one armed woman in a handjob contest." said Mara. "Other than that, tricks are alright. How about yourself?" she smiled, swinging around on the stool a little, sipping her martini, wondering how Kurt would react to a little competition from the handsome young staffer. "How's that meddlesome boss of yours--still running your life constantly?"

[Hittanryan]

"Hey Tom, tricks are alright. Been busier than a one armed woman in a handjob contest." said Mara. "Other than that, tricks are alright. How about yourself?" she smiled, swinging around on the stool a little, sipping her martini, wondering how Kurt would react to a little competition from the handsome young staffer. "How's that meddlesome boss of yours--still running your life constantly?"

"Who, Friedman? He can't even run his own life," Tom replied blithely. "We've been swamped. Certain people did certain things that we've been trying to prevent. Past few weeks have been hell running damage control." The contest comment didn't phase Tom in the slightest, he'd been in the infantry, after all. More interesting, however, was who had said it. He decided to call her out on it. "So how often does someone in your position attend a handjob contest?"

[Radiatia]

"Oh well you know... it's more comfortable there. More private for us to... get to know each other."

His smile became rather fixed as Tom from Hittanryan arrived.

"Oh hello there, I don't believe we've met," Said Kurt, a little annoyed at being interrupted. "I am Kurt Demodand, former Prime Minister of the Radiatian Federation and current Observer Ambassador to World Assembly."

He offered his hand.

"Drinks are on me. I'm... in a good mood."

He grinned.

[Soviet Canuckistan]

Simone overheard the conversation between Tom and Mara and butted in saying, "What? No Friedman, besides him covering the bar floor in an eternal slush, he wasn't so bad, and now that the ice from the failed hockey game is starting to melt...It just doesn't feel right without Friedman or Sergei, or those two trying to kill each other." As Simone finished she wiped back a tear and continued, "Excuse me for a moment," and Simone disappeared into a booth, taking a kleenex from her pocket and wiping away her mascara-stained tears.

[Hittanryan]

"Oh well you know... it's more comfortable there. More private for us to... get to know each other."

His smile became rather fixed as Tom from Hittanryan arrived.

"Oh hello there, I don't believe we've met," Said Kurt, a little annoyed at being interrupted. "I am Kurt Demodand, former Prime Minister of the Radiatian Federation and current Observer Ambassador to World Assembly."

He offered his hand.

"Drinks are on me. I'm... in a good mood."

He grinned.

Adirans are nothing if not well-informed. Staffer or not, Tom recognized Demodand as the infamous ex-PM of Radiatia. He hadn't realized the two had been talking. Based on his tone, he guessed the Radiatian might have thought he was getting somewhere with Mara. Shaking his hand, Tom introduced himself in turn. "Tomas Alvarado of the Republic of Adiron, I work with Ambassador Friedman. It's a pleasure to meet you, how's this post treating an ex-PM?"

Tom realized he should stay away from politics. Demodand's Conservative Party was neoliberal and fiscally conservative, which could be considered a dead-ringer, ironically, for Adiron's Liberal Party. Liberals were one of Adiron's two major parties, and the primary opposition to Tom's SDP backers. He enjoyed a diplomatic incident as much as the next guy, but former heads of state were off-limits.

[New Edom]

Mara said, "Oh, Tom, it's a whaddaya call, it's an analogy! Gosh, do you think one legged men get into ass kicking contests? But I guess if you consider my position--if I want to be in a handjob contest, I'll be in a handjob contest!" she laughed. "'Though probably shortly after that I'd lose my job and be disgraced in my family for being a Bad Girl. Sorry, this is--"

Kurt Demodand

"The--"

former Prime Minister of the Radiatian Federation and current Observer Ambassador to World Assembly."

Mara made gestures of introduction as Kurt spoke. "Yes. And--"

Tomas Alvarado of the Republic of Adiron

"Yes." Mara listened to their banter a moment. Then she wrote something on the NotePad on her phone and showed it to Kurt discreetly. R U Talking about SEX????

[Radiatia]

Adirans are nothing if not well-informed. Staffer or not, Tom recognized Demodand as the infamous ex-PM of Radiatia. He hadn't realized the two had been talking. Based on his tone, he guessed the Radiatian might have thought he was getting somewhere with Mara. Shaking his hand, Tom introduced himself in turn. "Tomas Alvarado of the Republic of Adiron, I work with Ambassador Friedman. It's a pleasure to meet you, how's this post treating an ex-PM?"

Tom realized he should stay away from politics. Demodand's Conservative Party was neoliberal and fiscally conservative, which could be considered a dead-ringer, ironically, for Adiron's Liberal Party. Liberals were one of Adiron's two major parties, and the primary opposition to Tom's SDP backers. He enjoyed a diplomatic incident as much as the next guy, but former heads of state were off-limits.

"It's an absolute pleasure." Said Kurt, with the same warmth he had used all those years ago to charm the Radiatian voters. "Well this job beats the hell out of staying back home, given the ugh.... current administration.

"Plus I've met all sorts of wonderful people..." He glanced briefly at the Princess and grinned all the wider. "Oh but Tom we must catch up for a drink some time, just you and me. Politics gets boring after a while. Drinking never does!"

"Yes." Mara listened to their banter a moment. Then she wrote something on the NotePad on her phone and showed it to Kurt discreetly. R U Talking about SEX????

Demodand pulled out his own phone and quickly tapped out his own discreet message, barely taking his eyes off Tom as they were talking. I prefer the term "love-making" ; )

[Hittanryan]

"Well, you know what they say about elections: can't win 'em all, or you might as well not even bother with elections in the first place," Tom joked. He realized this was what Friedman referred to as "playing the game." Demodand was clearly bullshitting him, trying to make himself look good in front of Mara. If he was not mistaken, there was also a discreet text message sent between the two that he pretended not to notice. Still, Tom was no stranger to putting on a good poker face. He recalled his first day on the job with Friedman...

"Let me see your diplomacy face."

"Sir?"

"You got a diplomacy face? AHHHHHHHHHHHH! That's NOT a diplomacy face!"

...on second thought maybe that advice, while true, wasn't particularly useful. At any rate, it was clear Demoman, as he recalled some of his critics had taken to calling him in reference to his handling of Radiatia's fiscal situation, had some unwholesome intentions. Tom would be damned if someone would muscle in on his unwholesome intentions. Had to play it cool though, now how to throw him off...

"Hey Mara, whatever happened to going motor-jousting? Still like to see that, if that old invitation's still open."

[New Edom]

Mara was intrigued. In her experience, she'd had women come on to her (usually rather sweetly, with a soft intensity that she enjoyed; she was not a lesbian but had enjoyed at least one such experience very much), and many men, and she was starting to realize that most of her lovers had disappointed her. Her mother's hunger...she understood it. Her mother enjoyed the time with her father, enjoyed being with her lover Steven Horvath even more, and yet was always restless. She was starting to wonder if either she simply had the same curse or understood that hunger. For experience. Sometimes not even what you could call good experience. It was vivid in her at the moment. I want to risk being ashamed. The idea flooded her with a tension and anticipation, not quite desire but thrill. This was a guy twice her age, maybe a bit more, coming on to her in a bar after having said hello. He had a bad reputation. Not at the same time. she texted. I'll go first. U follow in a few minutes.

But then Tom asked her about motor jousting. He doesn't give a shit. He wants to title screw you like everyone else. But she did answer. "Um...yeah, oh yeah sure the offer's open! Name the day, Tom. Actually I think there's going to be a big event coming up soon in Raith Immel Province, would you like to come to it?"

[Radiatia]

[OOC: "Demoman" = genius. I can't believe I never came up with that!]

"Well it's funny you should mention that. I think perhaps you should win 'em all. Of course there are those back home who call it 'corruption', but I for one cannot see anything wrong with stopping poor people from voting! I mean who would they vote for, I struggle to..." He paused. "Whoops sorry. The, ugh, drinks must have loosened my tongue a little more than necessary there."

He continued smiling though he could feel the tension in the air.

Tom spoke to Mara about motor-jousting.

So, Thought Demodand. I have competition do I? Very well...

He gulped down the last of his drink.

"So Tom," He said making sure to keep Tom distracted. "Tell me how you got to this position then?"

He glanced at Mara's text.
Ok he wrote, before proceeding on to a full blown charm offensive against Tom.

I've won... for now. He thought to himself smugly.

[New Edom]

"Hang on a minute, Kurt, you don't see anything wrong with stopping poor people from voting? Did you eat a brain tumor for breakfast?" Mara exclaimed, half laughing, half outraged. "I mean...back in the day, poor people couldn't defend their country either, so fair enough but now? They're more likely to, so that's just total bullshit." she held out her glass to the bartender. "Another please..." and she felt a further thrill...she realized Tom and Kurt were subtly jousting for her. Interesting. She decided to stay at the bar for a bit and see what happened.

[Radiatia]

"Hang on a minute, Kurt, you don't see anything wrong with stopping poor people from voting? Did you eat a brain tumor for breakfast?" Mara exclaimed, half laughing, half outraged. "I mean...back in the day, poor people couldn't defend their country either, so fair enough but now? They're more likely to, so that's just total bullshit." she held out her glass to the bartender. "Another please..." and she felt a further thrill...she realized Tom and Kurt were subtly jousting for her. Interesting. She decided to stay at the bar for a bit and see what happened.

Kurt looked at the Princess for a moment. I see. She's a bleeding heart liberal. I was almost in there...

He decided to change tacts. "Let's not discuss politics. I have my reasons. Obviously I support democracy, I just don't think people should be voting unless they're actually contributing to society through taxation or job creation. But people in the northern and central states of Radiatia tend to, well, without meaning to sound horrible they can hardly be counted as people at all.

"More drinks." He demanded at the bartender.

It was not going to plan. He came here to escape politics, not to get into a debate.

This was almost as bad as the time he first met the now current Prime Minister Lena Toriah. He tried to chat her up, and Lena ended up getting all political, and further insulted him by defeating him in the election.

It was time to return to Plan A: Get everyone so drunk that they didn't care for or remember the conversation.