The World Assembly Strangers' Bar

[United Irish Counties]

A middle-aged man, accompanied by two younger men, all dressed in suits, enter the bar. One of them posts a letter on the blackboard.

The Kingdom of United Irish Counties
His Majesty's Foreign Office

---

Dublin, 6th October 2016

To whom it may concern,

in accordance with Section 3 of the World Assembly Act of 2016 and under the authority vested in me by His Majesty, I have appointed Mr. Declan O'Donnel as Ireland's High Commissioner to the World Assembly with all duties and privileges of the office.

Richard Setsworth
H.M. Foreign Minister

The three approach the bar. The oldest of them orders three pints of Ale, before they all scan the room with a look of curiousity.
"Well, at the very least the beer is decent!", the youngest says with a grin on his face. "That's more than I expected this far away from home".

[Wallenburg]

Ogenbond is walking by the entrance to the bar on his way back to the voting chamber, when he notices there are new faces in the bar. He stops and ducks inside, strolling up to the strangers. He tugs lightly on his coat and stretches his arm out to the eldest man. "Hello there, sirs. I do not believe we have met. I am Chief Representative Mikael Ogenbond of the Wallenburgian delegation. I was just on my way to watch my resolution die on the voting floor, but meeting new delegations over a drink is much more appealing to me. How may I address you?"

[Valorem]

A relatively young bearded man who looks to be of English descent enters the bar, and after awkwardly pausing at the door for several minutes approaches the bartender and asks for a glass of water. He explains to the bartender that he's too young to drink in his home country of Valorem and really knows nothing about alcohol in general, but wanted to make the acquaintance of some of the other WA ambassadors since he's been newly appointed to the office.

[States of Glory WA Office]

A middle-aged man, accompanied by two younger men, all dressed in suits, enter the bar. One of them posts a letter on the blackboard.

The Kingdom of United Irish Counties
His Majesty's Foreign Office

---

Dublin, 6th October 2016

To whom it may concern,

in accordance with Section 3 of the World Assembly Act of 2016 and under the authority vested in me by His Majesty, I have appointed Mr. Declan O'Donnel as Ireland's High Commissioner to the World Assembly with all duties and privileges of the office.

Richard Setsworth
H.M. Foreign Minister

The three approach the bar. The oldest of them orders three pints of Ale, before they all scan the room with a look of curiousity.
"Well, at the very least the beer is decent!", the youngest says with a grin on his face. "That's more than I expected this far away from home".

Fairburn: Fresh meat...

Neville: Knock it off, you old zombie.

Fairburn: But the MEAT!

Neville: Stay, boy. Stay.

Fairburn: Ah, crud.

[Excidium Planetis]

Fairburn: Fresh meat...

Neville: Knock it off, you old zombie.

Fairburn: But the MEAT!

Neville: Stay, boy. Stay.

Fairburn: Ah, crud.

"The Ambassador Fairburn I was introduced to would not have suffered such degradation." Blackbourne remarks from a shadowy booth in the corner. He is drinking some sort of pear-flavored soda.

[States of Glory WA Office]

Fairburn: Fresh meat...

Neville: Knock it off, you old zombie.

Fairburn: But the MEAT!

Neville: Stay, boy. Stay.

Fairburn: Ah, crud.

"The Ambassador Fairburn I was introduced to would not have suffered such degradation." Blackbourne remarks from a shadowy booth in the corner. He is drinking some sort of pear-flavored soda.

OOC: It's a good thing Blackbourne wasn't introduced to him, then; Schultz was.

[Excidium Planetis]

"The Ambassador Fairburn I was introduced to would not have suffered such degradation." Blackbourne remarks from a shadowy booth in the corner. He is drinking some sort of pear-flavored soda.

OOC: It's a good thing Blackbourne wasn't introduced to him, then; Schultz was.

Blackbourne was introduced to him by Schultz.

[States of Glory WA Office]

OOC: It's a good thing Blackbourne wasn't introduced to him, then; Schultz was.

Blackbourne was introduced to him by Schultz.

OOC: I can't be bothered to dig it up, so...yeah.

[Excidium Planetis]

Blackbourne was introduced to him by Schultz.

OOC: I can't be bothered to dig it up, so...yeah.

Actually, I was wrong. It was Neville:

"Forgive me. Bartholomew is the Honourable Ambassador who has been sent by the office, fashionably late as usual. Just a word of warning: He hates being referred to in a manner other than Ambassador Fairburn, so please keep that in mind. The last time someone ignored the advice...well, let's just say that that isn't ketchup on the floor."

"It isn't?" Blackbourne exclaims. "But I could have sworn Madam Schultz informed me that the Bar's Weapon Nullifiers prevented any sort of violent conflict."

[Valorem]

"I couldn't help but overhearing, Ambassador Fairburn. Why, exactly, did you refer to the honorable Irish ambassadors as fresh meat?" Stephenson stammered. "I'm new here and I'm still trying to get my bearings, and that was just a bit... confusing, to me, that's all. No offense intended, of course."

[Wallenburg]

"I couldn't help but overhearing, Ambassador Fairburn. Why, exactly, did you refer to the honorable Irish ambassadors as fresh meat?" Stephenson stammered. "I'm new here and I'm still trying to get my bearings, and that was just a bit... confusing, to me, that's all. No offense intended, of course."

"Ah!" exclaims Ogenbond, turning to face the ambassador from Valorem. "Fresh meat indeed! We have quite a few new colleagues here, don't we. Welcome to the Festering Snakepit, where legislation may be witty or reasonable, but not both. My name is Mikael Ogenbond, and I am the chief representative here for my nation. Who might you be, and what do you hope to achieve in these infamous halls?"

[United Irish Counties]

Ogenbond is walking by the entrance to the bar on his way back to the voting chamber, when he notices there are new faces in the bar. He stops and ducks inside, strolling up to the strangers. He tugs lightly on his coat and stretches his arm out to the eldest man. "Hello there, sirs. I do not believe we have met. I am Chief Representative Mikael Ogenbond of the Wallenburgian delegation. I was just on my way to watch my resolution die on the voting floor, but meeting new delegations over a drink is much more appealing to me. How may I address you?"

The man shakes Ogenbond's hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Chief Representative. I'm High Commissioner Declan O'Donnel, this is my Chief of Staff, Mr. Kenneth Woodsworth and our intern, Mr. John Mallone. We are representing The Kingdom of United Irish Counties. Can I buy you a beer?"

[Valorem]

"I couldn't help but overhearing, Ambassador Fairburn. Why, exactly, did you refer to the honorable Irish ambassadors as fresh meat?" Stephenson stammered. "I'm new here and I'm still trying to get my bearings, and that was just a bit... confusing, to me, that's all. No offense intended, of course."

"Ah!" exclaims Ogenbond, turning to face the ambassador from Valorem. "Fresh meat indeed! We have quite a few new colleagues here, don't we. Welcome to the Festering Snakepit, where legislation may be witty or reasonable, but not both. My name is Mikael Ogenbond, and I am the chief representative here for my nation. Who might you be, and what do you hope to achieve in these infamous halls?"

"Good to meet you, Ambassador Ogenbond. I'm Rudolf Stephenson, newly appointed ambassador from the Federal Republic of Valorem. Valorem's primary interest is scientific advancement, with most of our other concerns stemming from it, and I intend to represent that interest here at the World Assembly. Nice place you've got here - is this a popular meeting ground for the Ambassadors outside the halls of the World Assembly? Also, I'd like to add that I and my country strongly support your recent proposal, even if the international community seems not to agree."

[Wallenburg]

The man shakes Ogenbond's hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Chief Representative. I'm High Commissioner Declan O'Donnel, this is my Chief of Staff, Mr. Kenneth Woodsworth and our intern, Mr. John Mallone. We are representing The Kingdom of United Irish Counties. Can I buy you a beer?"

"It is good to meet you all, Commissioner. Sure, I would love a good drink."

"Good to meet you, Ambassador Ogenbond. I'm Rudolf Stephenson, newly appointed ambassador from the Federal Republic of Valorem. Valorem's primary interest is scientific advancement, with most of our other concerns stemming from it, and I intend to represent that interest here at the World Assembly. Nice place you've got here - is this a popular meeting ground for the Ambassadors outside the halls of the World Assembly? Also, I'd like to add that I and my country strongly support your recent proposal, even if the international community seems not to agree."

"Good to make your acquaintance, Mr. Stephenson, and I am happy to hear that you supported my resolution. The Strangers' Bar is indeed one of the most popular gathering places on the entire campus, second only to the office of the Delaney sisters on the fourth floor. Neville here is our bartender. He can make you any drink you might ask for, from Wallenburgian ale to wood alcohol."

[Valorem]

"Neville, another water please. Valorem tends to apply their rather strict age limit on drinking even outside their territory, as long as you're a citizen, and I'd hate to go to jail just after getting a new job."

[Separatist Peoples]

"Neville, another water please. Valorem tends to apply their rather strict age limit on drinking even outside their territory, as long as you're a citizen, and I'd hate to go to jail just after getting a new job."

Bell leans back from his bar stool, having overheard the comment, "World Assembly ambassadors are granted diplomatic immunity, your Excellency." He takes a long pull off...what appears to be an entire bottle of something viscous and green. "Your country would be hard pressed to prosecute you."

[Whovian Tardisia]

Bell leans back from his bar stool, having overheard the comment, "World Assembly ambassadors are granted diplomatic immunity, your Excellency." He takes a long pull off...what appears to be an entire bottle of something viscous and green. "Your country would be hard pressed to prosecute you."

Pink stifles a giggle before adding: "That didn't stop your country though, Ambassador Bell. Nor the hulabaloo that followed."

[Separatist Peoples]

Bell leans back from his bar stool, having overheard the comment, "World Assembly ambassadors are granted diplomatic immunity, your Excellency." He takes a long pull off...what appears to be an entire bottle of something viscous and green. "Your country would be hard pressed to prosecute you."

Pink stifles a giggle before adding: "That didn't stop your country though, Ambassador Bell. Nor the hulabaloo that followed."

"I never said it was impossible...and lets not forget that that ended with an ogre bounty hunter bringing me the severed head of one of the tools that arrested me. And plenty of people ended up inside Herby. All's well that ends well, right?"

[Whovian Tardisia]

Pink stifles a giggle before adding: "That didn't stop your country though, Ambassador Bell. Nor the hulabaloo that followed."

"I never said it was impossible...and lets not forget that that ended with an ogre bounty hunter bringing me the severed head of one of the tools that arrested me. And plenty of people ended up inside Herby. All's well that ends well, right?"

"True enough. It was a wild ride, that. The poor Bug had to go into the bodyshop, didn't he?" Pink chuckles as he reminisces. "Anyways, I heard the snakepit has some new victims?'

[Valorem]

"I never said it was impossible...and lets not forget that that ended with an ogre bounty hunter bringing me the severed head of one of the tools that arrested me. And plenty of people ended up inside Herby. All's well that ends well, right?"

"True enough. It was a wild ride, that. The poor Bug had to go into the bodyshop, didn't he?" Pink chuckles as he reminisces. "Anyways, I heard the snakepit has some new victims?'

"I uh... assume you're referring to me and the Irish ambassadors? Happy to meet you. Ambassador Stephenson of Valorem, at your service."

[States of Glory WA Office]

Neville here is our bartender.

Neville: Oh, no, I'm not!

Fairburn: Oh, yes, he is!

He can make you any drink you might ask for, from Wallenburgian ale to wood alcohol.

Neville: Oh, no, I can't!

Fairburn: Oh, yes, he c...

Neville: Stop it already. This isn't a pantomime.

Fairburn: Oh, yes, it...

Neville: Stop it or I will physically throw you out the window.

Neville, another water please.

Neville: I've had enough of this madness! (screams and jumps out the window)

Fairburn: What's his deal? (shrugs)

[Valorem]

"Well, that was certainly a surprise. So the weapon nullifiers I've heard about aren't accompanied by shatterproof glass, I take it. Seems to be an odd choice."

[Wallenburg]

"Well, that was certainly a surprise. So the weapon nullifiers I've heard about aren't accompanied by shatterproof glass, I take it. Seems to be an odd choice."

"There really isn't even a weapon to nullify when someone goes out a window. Besides, defenestration is a popular and time-honored tradition in these halls." Ogenbond smiles warmly, remembering his own first defenestration.

[Valorem]

"There really isn't even a weapon to nullify when someone goes out a window. Besides, defenestration is a popular and time-honored tradition in these halls." Ogenbond smiles warmly, remembering his own first defenestration.

"Is that, by chance, how good Ambassador Fairburn managed to kill a man despite the weapon nullifiers? I remember overhearing something about that, and had been meaning to ask."

[Wallenburg]

"There really isn't even a weapon to nullify when someone goes out a window. Besides, defenestration is a popular and time-honored tradition in these halls." Ogenbond smiles warmly, remembering his own first defenestration.

"Is that, by chance, how good Ambassador Fairburn managed to kill a man despite the weapon nullifiers? I remember overhearing something about that, and had been meaning to ask."

Mikael raises his eyebrow. "I have not heard of Fairburn killing anyone in the bar. Someone is probably messing with you."