The World Assembly Strangers' Bar

[Bears Armed]

OOC: NS rather than II for non-war RP. At least that's what I was told to use for in-WAHQ roleplay that wasn't happening in the Bar. Of course, if it's going to be non-friendly non-war incident, then II is probably the best place.

OOC: Oops!
Need more sleep...

[Excidium Planetis]

OOC: Milkus never asked your ambassador to leave, he just wanted to talk to the Mouth, and I think the Mouth's still waiting for Schultz's reply at the Bar. It distorts time, you know, so things happen at different speeds in and out of it.

OOC:
Schultz interpreted that as a private conversation and excused herself. As for a reply, Schultz was the last to speak before Milkus interrupted, and the only thing the Mouth said to Schultz after that was:

"Ah. This Mouth - and the Dominion - understand. Of course, in the Dominion there are no 'comforts of home' to be reminded of. Morale is rarely ever considered. A Liagosian of the Dominion requires a morale boost no more than one's pinky might. Which is to say that the Dominion doesn't much care for morale."

Which doesn't really demand a response.

[Taigawa]

Valeera is handed a datapad by one one of her aides. After a moment, an expression of disappointment crosses her face.

"Well it seems I've been recalled back to Thessia to attend a meeting with my fellow councilors. They have sent an offical ambassador; an asari matriarch no less, as my replacement. I shall leave my device here for anyone who wishes to converse with the empress. I've been told Lady Siari has already arrived on the primesis. Good luck on your debating and as always, The Mantle shelters all."

She and her aides leave, only for an elderly Asari to enter the room shortly after.

"May I ask, what is the latest issue at the table? I'm afraid I've had little time to prepare for such a meeting as this."

[Araraukar]

She and her aides leave, only for an elderly Asari to enter the room shortly after.

OOC: She left too fast for me to ask this in IC - what's an asari?

[Taigawa]

She and her aides leave, only for an elderly Asari to enter the room shortly after.

OOC: She left too fast for me to ask this in IC - what's an asari?

OOC: Asari are one of the major races of the Mass Effect trilogy. A blue-skinned, all-female race who in ME lore, have biotic abilities and live for a thousand years. Elder Asari are known as Matriarchs and often take political postions, using their acumilated knowledge for political clout.

[Kaboomlandia]

Ambassador Miller orders two beers from Neville. While trying to sign the check, his hand seizes up and he has to write left-handed, which results in a very messy signature.

"God damnit, this writer's cramp from writing telegrams for the past day is killing me."

[Imperium Anglorum]

Ambassador Miller orders two beers from Neville. While trying to sign the check, his hand seizes up and he has to write left-handed, which results in a very messy signature.

"God damnit, this writer's cramp from writing telegrams for the past day is killing me."

Parsons: If you'd like, we can send over a teletypewriter.

[Kaboomlandia]

Ambassador Miller waves him off. "I'm at 97 approvals out of 124 anyway with 36 hours to go, and I just sent out another big batch a few minutes ago. If I have to run a manual campaign if I need my Proscription on Executions, though, my hand's going to fall off."

OOC: I'm going to look at using Communiqué for my PoE draft if I ever submit it, but seeing as I've telegrammed almost 1500 delegates manually on the THMA campaign already, I won't do it for this one because it's already most of the way there.

EDIT: Just added up the numbers for the three templates I've been using (underlined the link per your TG, then ha to fix a broken link). I've sent 1,351 telegrams, with 1,142 getting through. 100% manual.

[Imperium Anglorum]

Ambassador Miller waves him off. "I'm at 97 approvals out of 124 anyway with 36 hours to go, and I just sent out another big batch a few minutes ago. If I have to run a manual campaign if I need my Proscription on Executions, though, my hand's going to fall off."

OOC: I'm going to look at using Communiqué for my PoE draft if I ever submit it, but seeing as I've telegrammed almost 1500 delegates manually on the THMA campaign already, I won't do it for this one because it's already most of the way there.

Parsons: We've got lots of free teletypewriters. I got a pile of them from the huge funding boost we got from our 200-day anniversary of the Delegacy. Always glad to help.

[New Dukaine]

Pama Umoja walks into the bar and sits down next to ambassador Parsons. He starts shaming himself for being a very poor author.

I suck at proposals! But let's move that to the side. I want a beer.

[Separatist Peoples]

Pama Umoja walks into the bar and sits down next to ambassador Parsons. He starts shaming himself for being a very poor author.

I suck at proposals! But let's move that to the side. I want a beer.

"Accepting is the first step, ambassador."

Parsons: We've got lots of free teletypewriters. I got a pile of them from the huge funding boost we got from our 200-day anniversary of the Delegacy. Always glad to help.

"You got a budget increase, spent it on typewriters you didn't even need, and now give them away because you have a surplus? Did your accountant have a stroke, Cyril, or are you pulling our collective leg?"

[Imperium Anglorum]

Parsons: We've got lots of free teletypewriters. I got a pile of them from the huge funding boost we got from our 200-day anniversary of the Delegacy. Always glad to help.

"You got a budget increase, spent it on typewriters you didn't even need, and now give them away because you have a surplus? Did your accountant have a stroke, Cyril, or are you pulling our collective leg?"

"We have unlimited numbers of teletypewriters. We copy the stream. Watch." Parsons goes to the nearest teletypewriter and types 'nano espresso.espress'.

Code: Select all

import matter.MatterStream;
import matter.templates.TeleTypewriter;

public class CreateTypewriter {
   
   public static void main(String[] args) throws IOException {
      MatterStream mStream = System.getNearestMatterStream();
      mStream.loadTemplate(new TeleTypewriter());
      mStream.stream();
      mStream.close();
   }
   
}

He saves the file and types 'iexec espresso.espress'. A few metres away, a matter stream pops to life and prints out a new teletypewriter. OOC: Yes, I know that this isn't proper conventions, but screw conventions, I'm having fun here!

[Separatist Peoples]

"You got a budget increase, spent it on typewriters you didn't even need, and now give them away because you have a surplus? Did your accountant have a stroke, Cyril, or are you pulling our collective leg?"

"We have unlimited numbers of teletypewriters. We copy the stream. Watch." Parsons goes to the nearest teletypewriter and types 'nano espresso.espress'.

Code: Select all

import matter.MatterStream;
import matter.templates.TeleTypewriter;

public class CreateTypewriter {
   
   public static void main(String[] args) throws IOException {
      MatterStream mStream = System.getNearestMatterStream();
      mStream.loadTemplate(new TeleTypewriter());
      mStream.stream();
      mStream.close();
   }
   
}

He saves the file and types 'iexec espresso.espress'. A few metres away, a matter stream pops to life and prints out a new teletypewriter. OOC: Yes, I know that this isn't proper conventions, but screw conventions, I'm having fun here!

"Cyril, you're going to break the Matrix, and we're all going to find out our pensions and incredible political power are just part of a game, and we're all actually a bunch of regular Joes indulging in a fantasy. Cut it out before somebody unplugs us! Ignorance is Bliss, damn it!"

[Taigawa]

"We have unlimited numbers of teletypewriters. We copy the stream. Watch." Parsons goes to the nearest teletypewriter and types 'nano espresso.espress'.

Code: Select all

import matter.MatterStream;
import matter.templates.TeleTypewriter;

public class CreateTypewriter {
   
   public static void main(String[] args) throws IOException {
      MatterStream mStream = System.getNearestMatterStream();
      mStream.loadTemplate(new TeleTypewriter());
      mStream.stream();
      mStream.close();
   }
   
}

He saves the file and types 'iexec espresso.espress'. A few metres away, a matter stream pops to life and prints out a new teletypewriter. OOC: Yes, I know that this isn't proper conventions, but screw conventions, I'm having fun here!

"Cyril, you're going to break the Matrix, and we're all going to find out our pensions and incredible political power are just part of a game, and we're all actually a bunch of regular Joes indulging in a fantasy. Cut it out before somebody unplugs us! Ignorance is Bliss, damn it!"

"But knowledge is a gateway to attaining The Mantle. Would you be willing to share that technology with my people?"

[Wallenburg]

"Cyril, you're going to break the Matrix, and we're all going to find out our pensions and incredible political power are just part of a game, and we're all actually a bunch of regular Joes indulging in a fantasy. Cut it out before somebody unplugs us! Ignorance is Bliss, damn it!"

A group of men wearing black three-piece suits, shortly cut hair, and dark black sunglasses enters the bar. They walk in a neat column toward the ambassadors, then surround them in a circle.

One steps forward from the circle and addresses Ambassador Bell. "As you can see, we've had our eye on you for some time now, Mr. Bell."

[Separatist Peoples]

A group of men wearing black three-piece suits, shortly cut hair, and dark black sunglasses enters the bar. They walk in a neat column toward the ambassadors, then surround them in a circle.

One steps forward from the circle and addresses Ambassador Bell. "As you can see, we've had our eye on you for some time now, Mr. Bell."

Bell takes a long hard look at the three men. He waves over a bartender and acquired another three glasses and a bottle.

"Gentlemen, please, have a drink. I'm not going to resist arrest, and this isn't my first rodeo with a kidnapping. Might as well have a drink while telling me all about your plan."

He takes a drink.

Again, he thinks. How does this keep happening to me? What is this, the third time? Is it my cologne? Is it the goat? I bet it's the damn goat!

"Is this about the military-grade goat?"

[Imperium Anglorum]

A group of men wearing black three-piece suits, shortly cut hair, and dark black sunglasses enters the bar. They walk in a neat column toward the ambassadors, then surround them in a circle.

One steps forward from the circle and addresses Ambassador Bell. "As you can see, we've had our eye on you for some time now, Mr. Bell."

Bell takes a long hard look at the three men. He waves over a bartender and acquired another three glasses and a bottle.

"Gentlemen, please, have a drink. I'm not going to resist arrest, and this isn't my first rodeo with a kidnapping. Might as well have a drink while telling me all about your plan."

He takes a drink.

Again, he thinks. How does this keep happening to me? What is this, the third time? Is it my cologne? Is it the goat? I bet it's the damn goat!

"Is this about the military-grade goat?"

Cyril responds, 'It's all just Imperial technology. I told one of the people out there that we seem to be an Edwardian era civilisation. This is true. We seem to be an Edwardian era civilisation'. He sips his glass of wine, then turns to a computer and inputs the following code:

Code: Select all

import java.util.List;
import java.util.ArrayList;

import matter.PhysicalObject
import matter.MatterStream;
import matter.MatterConverter;

public class EliminateGuards {

   public static void main(String[] args) {
      MatterStream mStream = System.getNearestMatterStream();
      MatterConverter mConverter = new MatterConverter(mStream);

      List<PhysicalObject> itemList = new ArrayList<PhysicalObject>();
      for (PhysicalObject object : System.getNearbyObjects(new Metre(20))) {
         if (object.hasCharacteristics("guard", "black", "suit", "Wallenburger")) {
            if (object.isAlive()) {
               if (object.isRegistered()) {
                  itemList.add(object);
               }
            }
         }
      }

      mConverter.loadTargets(itemList);
      mConverter.loadOutput(MatterConverter.generateListObject(new PhysicalObject("air")));
      mConverter.convert();
   }
}

The guards vanish.

[Excidium Planetis]

Excidian WA Offices, Security Room

The Chief security officer hangs up on his call with a frantic and paranoid Schultz. After all, the video feed from the Bar is more important. He types a short message to his superiors: "We have a Type I Reality Rift. Permission to make preparations to deploy countermeasures?"

[Imperium Anglorum]

Excidian WA Offices, Security Room

The Chief security officer hangs up on his call with a frantic and paranoid Schultz. After all, the video feed from the Bar is more important. He types a short message to his superiors: "We have a Type I Reality Rift. Permission to make preparations to deploy countermeasures?"

OOC: It's not a rift. It's a matter converter created from the matter stream. Purely technological.

[Excidium Planetis]

Excidian WA Offices, Security Room

The Chief security officer hangs up on his call with a frantic and paranoid Schultz. After all, the video feed from the Bar is more important. He types a short message to his superiors: "We have a Type I Reality Rift. Permission to make preparations to deploy countermeasures?"

OOC: It's not a rift. It's a matter converter created from the matter stream. Purely technological.

"Reality Rift" is the Excidian term for a break in the fourth wall.

[Imperium Anglorum]

OOC: It's not a rift. It's a matter converter created from the matter stream. Purely technological.

"Reality Rift" is the Excidian term for a break in the fourth wall.

Parsons looks strangely at Excidium Planetis. OOC: Done. Rift created.

[Luna Amore]

OOC: Done. Rift created.

OOC:
SP already created the Rift by referencing this being a game.

"Reality Rift" is the Excidian term for a break in the fourth wall.

Parsons looks strangely at Excidium Planetis.

IC:
Permission Granted. That's all the message said. The chief of security who doesn't yet have a name got up and went over to a strange device. He pressed a few buttons on it.

A robotic voice responded to the command. "Meta-bomb deployed." A Type II Reality Rift was created.

[The Puddle Jumping Wads of Wrapper]

(The Wads enter the bar.)

A robotic voice responded to the command. "Meta-bomb deployed." A Type II Reality Rift was created.

(The Wads about-face in stride and exit the bar.)

[Wallenburg]

A group of men wearing black three-piece suits, shortly cut hair, and dark black sunglasses enters the bar. They walk in a neat column toward the ambassadors, then surround them in a circle.

One steps forward from the circle and addresses Ambassador Bell. "As you can see, we've had our eye on you for some time now, Mr. Bell."

Bell takes a long hard look at the three men. He waves over a bartender and acquired another three glasses and a bottle.

"Gentlemen, please, have a drink. I'm not going to resist arrest, and this isn't my first rodeo with a kidnapping. Might as well have a drink while telling me all about your plan."

He takes a drink.

Again, he thinks. How does this keep happening to me? What is this, the third time? Is it my cologne? Is it the goat? I bet it's the damn goat!

"Is this about the military-grade goat?"

"Mr. Bell, all we ask is your...cooperation." The man takes off his glasses and gives Bell a cold stare. It appears that your goat has been living two lives, Mr. Bell. One of these has a future. The other--"

Permission Granted. That's all the message said. The chief of security who doesn't yet have a name got up and went over to a strange device. He pressed a few buttons on it.

A robotic voice responded to the command. "Meta-bomb deployed." A Type II Reality Rift was created.

The man's eyes glint with a combination of fear and anger. He draws a handgun and fires directly at Bell's head. The bullet exits the chamber without being changed into anything non-lethal, but it slows immediately to a crawl. The bullet travels through the air slowly, leaving ripples in the air behind it.

"What?" the man snarls. His men flicker out of existence around him. The remaining man stumbles back and fires his gun again and again, emptying it of bullets. All of them slow down and almost stop in place along their trajectories.

"No! It's not possible!" The man tries to get up, but his foot flickers away for a moment, sending him to the ground again. He turns to face Bell as his form flickers in and out. "I will have that goat, Mr. Bell." Then he disappears.

Ogenbond stares in confusion for a moment. "Huh." He reaches over and plucks a bullet from the air. "That isn't normal, is it?"

[Bears Armed]

A robotic voice responded to the command. "Meta-bomb deployed." A Type II Reality Rift was created.

A swirling vortex of light, with sections in very colour of the rainbow (and then some...), briefly appears over a patch of empty space about eight feet in front of the bar, and an ursine figure -- flailing wildly -- falls down through it into the room. By the time that he has scrambled to his feet the vortex has swirled itself shut again and shrunk down to just a few inches across. This bear, a young adult male with gingery fur who's wearing a green suit and a bow-tie and who has several cameras slung around his neck, looks upwards despairingly and, addressing nobody in particular, speaks.

"Again? Great Seizer's ghost, AGAIN?!? Hwhy is it always me that these things happen too?
"Urrgah! I'd just got my own shape back after being accidentally transformed into an 'ursine porcupine' for nearly a day, and now here I am dropped into some other Reality..."