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[REDRAFT] On Planetary Annihilation (6)

Where WA members debate how to improve the world, one resolution at a time.

What should the strength of this proposal be?

Strong
3
25%
Significant
2
17%
Mild
7
58%
 
Total votes : 12

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Hakio
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Founded: Nov 06, 2013
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[REDRAFT] On Planetary Annihilation (6)

Postby Hakio » Sun Mar 09, 2014 11:59 am

A resolution to slash worldwide military spending.

Category: International Security
Strength: Significant
Proposed by: Hakio

The World Assembly,

REAFFIRMING its extant commitments to peace, environmental preservation, and cultural conservation;

CONDEMNING instances of "planetary annihilation," in which entire planets are destroyed, as a flagrant contravention of the aforementioned commitments;

UNDERSTANDING that instances of "planetary annihilation" do happen and have caused unreconciable damage to various alien races and cultures;

DEFINING "planetary annihilation" as any deliberate military attack on a planet in any way that causes the majority of life forms inhabiting the planet to die;

BELIEVING that the losses entailed in planetary annihilation renders any possible resultant military gain unjustifiable due to the wanton destruction caused and therefore such tactics should not be considered legal warfare activity;

HOPING to ensure the protection of planets from such deplorable tactics being used against them when in times of interplanetary or intergalactic war or otherwise;

PROHIBITS:
  1. The usage of weapons that can cause planetary annihilation against planets, moons, occupied civilian megastructures, solar systems, stars, or galaxies in warfare between two or more World Assembly nations.
  2. The usage of weapons of planetary annihilation on non WA planets by a World Assembly nations unless in cases where WA nations have reasonable doubt to suspect that there planet is in serious danger.
  3. The unauthorized destruction of extrasolar bodies without proper licensing permits and/or needed legal permission granted by the ICPB to legally annihilate said bodies.
  4. The sale or other transfer of said weapons capable of planetary annihilation between two or more nations or organizations.
  5. The illegal or careless handling of said weapons in such a way that irresponsibly could lead to any unnecessary destruction of extrasolar bodies.

PERMITS:
  1. The ownership and production of said weapons by nations, planetary governmental bodies, or other organizations.
  2. The military testing of said weapons on uninhabited planets, moons, or asteroids, in lifeless solar systems.
  3. The usage of said weapons as a last resort in the event of a provoking non-WA nation attempting to destroy the nation's planet with similar weapons of planetary annihilation to protect WA nations from nations who would not have to adhere to this resolution.
  4. The usage of said weapons by organizations or corporations for the purpose of asteroid mining, or other commercial usage.
  5. The usage of said weapons on approaching astronomical objects that pose catastrophic or apocalyptic danger to inhabitable or inhabited planets, moons or other extrasolar bodies.

Hereby mandates:
  1. That before military testing or mining operations, the proper precautions are taken and a reasonable search reveals no evidence of life in areas affected by the resulting planetary or asteroid destruction.
  2. That proper signals shall be sent to any nearby space vessels that such testing or mining operations have been scheduled, and again when discharge is imminent so to not lead to accidental loss of life.
  3. That a nation may not choose to annihilate a planetary body legally, by following the rules and guidelines of this resolution, without providing an official formal request to the ICPB.

HEREBY ESTABLISHES the Intergalactic Committee on Planetary Bodies, (ICPB) to handle further issues regarding the destruction of planets, minor planets, planetoids, and to handle the licensing permits needed for a private body to legally annihilate said bodies.
A resolution to slash worldwide military spending.

Category: Global Disarmament
Strength: Significant
Proposed by: Hakio

The World Assembly,

REAFFIRMING its extant commitments to peace, environmental preservation, and cultural conservation;

CONDEMNING instances of "planetary annihilation," in which entire planets are destroyed, as a flagrant contravention of the aforementioned commitments;

DEFINING "planetary annihilation" as the deliberate attack on a planet in any way that causes the majority of life forms on the planet to die;

BELIEVING that the losses entailed in planetary annihilation renders any possible resultant military gain unjustifiable due to its wanton destruction and therefore such tactics should not be considered legal warfare activity;

HOPING to ensure the protection of planets from such deplorable tactics being used against them when in times of planetary or galactic war;

PROHIBITS:
  1. The usage of weapons that can cause planetary annihilation against planets, moons, occupied civilian megastructures, solar systems, or galaxies in warfare between two World Assembly nations.
  2. The sale or other transfer of said weapons capable of planetary annihilation between two nations or organizations.
  3. The illegal or careless handling of said weapons in such a way that irresponsibly puts others in danger.

PERMITS:
  1. The ownership and production of said weapons by nations, planetary governmental bodies, or other organizations.
  2. The military testing of said weapons on uninhabited planets, moons, or asteroids, in lifeless solar systems.
  3. The usage of said weapons as a last resort in the event of a provoking non-WA nation attempting to destroy the nation's planet with similar weapons of planetary annihilation to protect WA nations from nations who would not have to adhere to this resolution.
  4. The usage of said weapons by organizations or corporations for the purpose of asteroid mining, or other commercial usage.
  5. The usage of said weapons on approaching astronomical objects that pose catastrophic or apocalyptic danger to inhabitable or inhabited planets, moons or other extrasolar bodies.

MANDATES that before military testing or mining operations, the proper precautions are taken and a reasonable search reveals no evidence of life in areas affected by the resulting planetary or asteroid destruction;

FURTHER MANDATES that proper signals shall be sent to any nearby space vessels that such testing or mining operations have been scheduled, and again when discharge is imminent so to not lead to accidental loss of life.
A resolution to slash worldwide military spending.Category: Global Disarmament
Strength: Significant
Proposed by: Hakio

Argument:

The World Assembly,

RDEAFFIRMING its extant commitments to peace, environmental preservation, and cultural conservation;

CONDEMNING instances of "planetary annihilation," in which entire planets are destroyed, as a flagrant contravention of the aforementioned commitments;

DEFINING "planetary annihilation" as the deliberate attack of a planet in any way that causes sudden mass extinction of all inhabiting life forms;

BELIEVING that the losses entailed in the usage of planet destroying weapons renders any possible resultant military gain unjustifiable due to wanton destruction and therefore such warfare should not be considered legal warfare activity;

HOPING to ensure the protection of planets from such deplorable tactics being used against them when in times of planetary or galactic war;

PROHIBITS:
  1. The usage of weapons that can cause the destruction of planets, moons, civilian megastructures, solar systems, or galaxies in warfare between two World Assembly nations.
  2. The sale or other transfer of such planet, moons, solar system, or galaxy destroying weapons between two nations or organizations.
  3. The illegal or careless handling of said weapons in such a way that irresponsibly puts others in danger.

PERMITS:
  1. The ownership and production of said weapons by nations, planets, or other organizations.
  2. The military testing of said weapons on uninhabited desolate planets, moons, or asteroids, in uninhabited lifeless solar systems.
  3. The usage of said weapons as a last resort in the face of provoking non-WA nation attempting to annihilate the nation's planet with similar weapons of planetary destruction to protect WA nations from nations who would not have to adhere to this resolution.
  4. The usage of said weapons by organizations or corporations for the purpose of asteroid mining.
  5. The usage of said weapons on approaching astronomical objects that pose catastrophic or apocalyptic danger to inhabitable or inhabited planets, moons or other extrasolar bodies.

MANDATES that before military testing, the proper precautions are taken and a reasonable search reveals no evidence of life in areas affected by the resulting planetary or asteroid destruction;

FURTHER MANDATES that proper signals shall be sent to any nearby space vessels about the military testing that is taking place as to not lead to accidental loss of life.
A resolution to slash worldwide military spending.

Category: Global Disarmament
Strength: Significant
Proposed by: Hakio

Argument:

The World Assembly,

REAFFIRMING its extant commitments to peace, environmental preservation, and cultural conservation;

CONDEMNING instances of "planetary annihilation," in which entire planets are destroyed, as a flagrant contravention of the aforementioned commitments;

BELIEVING that the losses entailed in the usage of planet destroying weapons renders any possible resultant military gain unjustifiable due to wanton destruction and therefore such warfare should not be considered legal warfare activity;

HOPING to ensure the protection of planets from such deplorable tactics being used against them when in times of planetary or galactic war;

PROHIBITS:
  1. The usage of weapons that can cause the destruction of planets, solar systems, or galaxies in warfare between two World Assembly nations.
  2. The sale of such planet, solar system, or galaxy destroying weapons between two nations or organizations.
  3. The illegal or careless handling of said weapons in such a way that irresponsibly puts others in danger.

PERMITS:
  1. The ownership and production of said weapons by nations, planets, or other organizations.
  2. The military testing of said weapons on uninhabited desolate planets, moons, or asteroids, in uninhabited lifeless solar systems.
  3. The usage of said weapons as a last resort in the face of provoking non-WA nation attempting to annihilate the nation's planet with similar weapons of planetary destruction to protect WA nations from nations who would not have to adhere to this resolution.
  4. The usage of weapons by organizations or corporations for the purpose of asteroid mining.
  5. The usage of said weapons on approaching astronomical objects that pose catastrophic or apocalyptic danger to inhabitable or inhabited planets.

MANDATES that before military testing, the proper precautions are taken and a reasonable search reveals no evidence of life in areas affected by the resulting of planetary or asteroid destruction;

FURTHER MANDATES that proper signals shall be sent to any nearby space vessels that such testing or mining operations have been scheduled, and again when discharge is imminent so to not lead to accidental loss of life.
Prohibiton of Planetary Annihilation
A resolution to slash worldwide military spending.

Category: Global Disarmament
Strength: Significant
Proposed by: Hakio

Argument:

The World Assembly,

REAFFIRMING its extant commitments to peace, environmental preservation, and cultural conservation;

CONDEMNING instances of "planetary annihilation," in which entire planets are destroyed, as a flagrant contravention of the aforementioned commitments;

BELIEVING that the losses entailed in the usage of planet destroying weapons renders any possible resultant military gain unjustifiable due to wanton destruction and therefore such warfare should not be considered legal warfare activity;

HOPING to ensure the protection of planets from such deplorable tactics being used against them when in times of planetary or galactic war;

PROHIBITS:
  1. The usage of weapons that can cause the destruction of planets, solar systems, or galaxies in warfare between two World Assembly nations.
  2. The sale of such planet, solar system, or galaxy destroying weapons between two nations or organizations.
  3. The illegal or careless handling of said weapons in such a way that irresponsibly puts others in danger.

PERMITS:
  1. The ownership and production said weapons by nations, planets, or other organizations.
  2. The military testing of said weapons on uninhabited desolate planets, moons, or asteroids, in uninhabited lifeless solar systems.
  3. The usage of said weapons as a last resort in the face of provoking non-WA nation attempting to annihilate the nation's planet with similar weapons of planetary destruction to protect WA nations from nations who would not have to adhere to this resolution.

MANDATES that before military testing, the proper precautions are taken and a reasonable search reveals no evidence of life in areas affected by the resulting of planetary or asteroid destruction testing;

FURTHER MANDATES that proper signals shall be sent to any nearby space vessels about the military testing that is taking place as to not lead to accidental loss of life.
Prohibiton of Planetary Annihilation
A resolution to improve worldwide human and civil rights.

Category: Human Rights
Strength: Significant
Proposed by: Hakio

APPALLED by the complete and utter annihilation of the planet of Alderaan home to entire civilizations in a horrifying explosion killing every single living thing on the planet,

WISHING to prohibit such an act of utter cultural annihilation (through the usage of such weapons capable of such an act) from ever happening to another a planet, solar system, or galaxy in the near future,

BELIEVING that the losses entailed in the legal usage of planet destroying weapons to render any possible military gain through it's usage to be unjustified wanton destruction and thus should not be considered legal warfare activity,

HOPING to ensure the protection of a people's home planet from such deplorable tactics being used against them when in times of planetary or galactic war,

HEREBY PROHIBITING:
  1. The usage of weapons that can cause the destruction of planets, solar systems, or galaxies in warfare between two World Assembly nations.
  2. The sale of such planet, solar system, or galaxy destroying weapons between two nations or organizations.
  3. The illegal or careless handling of said weapons in such a way that irresponsibly puts others in danger.

HEREBY PERMITTING:
  1. The ownership and production said weapons by nations, planets, or other organizations.
  2. The military testing of said weapons on uninhabited desolate planets, moons, or asteroids, in uninhabited lifeless solar systems.
  3. The usage of said weapons as a last resort in the face of provoking non-WA nation attempting to annihilate the nation's planet with similar weapons of planetary destruction to protect WA nations from nations who would not have to adhere to this resolution.
[/list]

MANDATING that before military testing, the proper precautions are taken and adequate evidence of lifelessness in planetary destruction areas.

FURTHER MANDATING that proper signals shall be sent to any nearby space vessels that such testing or mining operations have been scheduled, and again when discharge is imminent so to not lead to accidental loss of life.

HEREBY ENACTS a prohibition of planetary annihilation.
Last edited by Hakio on Wed Apr 16, 2014 5:48 am, edited 57 times in total.
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Hakio
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Postby Hakio » Sun Mar 09, 2014 12:11 pm

Hakio wrote:Prohibiton of Planetary Annihilation
A resolution to improve worldwide human and civil rights.

Category: Human Rights
Strength: Significant
Proposed by: Hakio

APPALLED by the complete and utter annihilation of the planet of Alderaan home to entire civilizations in a horrifying explosion killing every single living thing on the planet,

WISHING to prohibit such an act of utter cultural annihilation (through the usage of such weapons capable of such an act) from ever happening to another a planet, solar system, or galaxy in the near future,

BELIEVING that the losses entailed in the legal usage of planet destroying weapons to render any possible military gain through it's usage to be unjustified wanton destruction and thus should not be considered legal warfare activity,

HOPING to ensure the protection of a people's home planet from such deplorable tactics being used against them when in times of planetary or galactic war,

HEREBY PROHIBITING:
  1. The usage of weapons that can cause the destruction of planets, solar systems, or galaxies in warfare between two World Assembly nations.
  2. The sale of such planet, solar system, or galaxy destroying weapons between two nations or organizations.
  3. The illegal or careless handling of said weapons in such a way that irresponsibly puts others in danger.

HEREBY PERMITTING:
  1. The ownership and production said weapons by nations, planets, or other organizations.
  2. The military testing of said weapons on uninhabited desolate planets, moons, or asteroids, in uninhabited lifeless solar systems.
  3. The usage of said weapons as a last resort in the face of provoking non-WA nation attempting to annihilate the nation's planet with similar weapons of planetary destruction to protect WA nations from nations who would not have to adhere to this resolution.

MANDATING that before military testing, the proper precautions are taken and adequate evidence of lifelessness in planetary destruction areas.

FURTHER MANDATING that proper signals shall be sent to any nearby space vessels about the military testing that is taking place as to not lead to accidental loss of life.

HEREBY ENACTS a prohibition of planetary annihilation.


THUS BEGINS THE SPACE AGE AGENDA! :lol: yaaay
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WA Voting History
Progressivism 97.5
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Draica
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Founded: Feb 06, 2014
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Postby Draica » Sun Mar 09, 2014 12:16 pm

Tung burries his hand in his head after hearing this proposal.

"Would the Ambassador from Hakio kindly tell me what he is smoking? I could use it when insane stuff like this or insane remarks come up on the floor. Opposed."
Draica is a Federal Republic nation ran by conservatives and Libertarians! If you ever wanna rp a state visit, a war, a debate with one of my leaders or a conservative/libertarian philosopher, or just wanna tg me in general(I like TGs) drop me a TG!
Allies: Pantorrum, Korgenstin, Zebraltar, Kiribati-Tarawa, Democratic Sabha. Idoa, Allaena, Lledia.
Enemies: Arkania 5, any communist nation, Drakorvanyia.
Wars:

The Draican-Arkanian war: On-going

The Waldensian-Draican-Kiribati Cold War: Won. Dissolution of Communist Government in Waldensia

The Draican-Die erworbenen Namen war: Draica successfully defended, retaliation called off.

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Hakio
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Postby Hakio » Sun Mar 09, 2014 12:19 pm

Draica wrote:Tung burries his hand in his head after hearing this proposal.

"Would the Ambassador from Hakio kindly tell me what he is smoking? I could use it when insane stuff like this or insane remarks come up on the floor. Opposed."


What is so insane about this?
Proud International Federalist

WA Voting History
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Draica
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Postby Draica » Sun Mar 09, 2014 12:21 pm

"Can the Ambassador kindly tell me what entire "planets" have joined the World Assembly? This is insane. This is nonsense. There are no aliens, mister Ambassaor."
Draica is a Federal Republic nation ran by conservatives and Libertarians! If you ever wanna rp a state visit, a war, a debate with one of my leaders or a conservative/libertarian philosopher, or just wanna tg me in general(I like TGs) drop me a TG!
Allies: Pantorrum, Korgenstin, Zebraltar, Kiribati-Tarawa, Democratic Sabha. Idoa, Allaena, Lledia.
Enemies: Arkania 5, any communist nation, Drakorvanyia.
Wars:

The Draican-Arkanian war: On-going

The Waldensian-Draican-Kiribati Cold War: Won. Dissolution of Communist Government in Waldensia

The Draican-Die erworbenen Namen war: Draica successfully defended, retaliation called off.

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Hakio
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Founded: Nov 06, 2013
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Postby Hakio » Sun Mar 09, 2014 12:27 pm

Draica wrote:"Can the Ambassador kindly tell me what entire "planets" have joined the World Assembly? This is insane. This is nonsense. There are no aliens, mister Ambassaor."

Tell that to the hundreds of alien races in the Nation States community set on different planets.
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Kaalakiota Corporation
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Postby Kaalakiota Corporation » Sun Mar 09, 2014 12:28 pm

Hakio wrote:Prohibiton of Planetary Annihilation
A resolution to improve worldwide human and civil rights.

Category: Human Rights
Strength: Significant
Proposed by: Hakio

APPALLED by the complete and utter annihilation of the planet of Alderaan home to entire civilizations in a horrifying explosion killing every single living thing on the planet,

WISHING to prohibit such an act of utter cultural annihilation (through the usage of such weapons capable of such an act) from ever happening to another a planet, solar system, or galaxy in the near future,

BELIEVING that the losses entailed in the legal usage of planet destroying weapons to render any possible military gain through it's usage to be unjustified wanton destruction and thus should not be considered legal warfare activity,

HOPING to ensure the protection of a people's home planet from such deplorable tactics being used against them when in times of planetary or galactic war,

HEREBY PROHIBITING:
  1. The usage of weapons that can cause the destruction of planets, solar systems, or galaxies in warfare between two World Assembly nations.
  2. The sale of such planet, solar system, or galaxy destroying weapons between two nations or organizations.
  3. The illegal or careless handling of said weapons in such a way that irresponsibly puts others in danger.

HEREBY PERMITTING:
  1. The ownership and production said weapons by nations, planets, or other organizations.
  2. The military testing of said weapons on uninhabited desolate planets, moons, or asteroids, in uninhabited lifeless solar systems.
  3. The usage of said weapons as a last resort in the face of provoking non-WA nation attempting to annihilate the nation's planet with similar weapons of planetary destruction to protect WA nations from nations who would not have to adhere to this resolution.

MANDATING that before military testing, the proper precautions are taken and adequate evidence of lifelessness in planetary destruction areas.

FURTHER MANDATING that proper signals shall be sent to any nearby space vessels about the military testing that is taking place as to not lead to accidental loss of life.

HEREBY ENACTS a prohibition of planetary annihilation.


Real life reference, so the bill is illegal. Please correct your (joke?) bill.
Haatakan Oiritsuu - CEO of Kaalakiota Corporation and Ambassador to the WA
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Hakio
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Founded: Nov 06, 2013
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Postby Hakio » Sun Mar 09, 2014 12:30 pm

Kaalakiota Corporation wrote:
Hakio wrote:Prohibiton of Planetary Annihilation
A resolution to improve worldwide human and civil rights.

Category: Human Rights
Strength: Significant
Proposed by: Hakio

APPALLED by the complete and utter annihilation of the planet of Alderaan home to entire civilizations in a horrifying explosion killing every single living thing on the planet,

WISHING to prohibit such an act of utter cultural annihilation (through the usage of such weapons capable of such an act) from ever happening to another a planet, solar system, or galaxy in the near future,

BELIEVING that the losses entailed in the legal usage of planet destroying weapons to render any possible military gain through it's usage to be unjustified wanton destruction and thus should not be considered legal warfare activity,

HOPING to ensure the protection of a people's home planet from such deplorable tactics being used against them when in times of planetary or galactic war,

HEREBY PROHIBITING:
  1. The usage of weapons that can cause the destruction of planets, solar systems, or galaxies in warfare between two World Assembly nations.
  2. The sale of such planet, solar system, or galaxy destroying weapons between two nations or organizations.
  3. The illegal or careless handling of said weapons in such a way that irresponsibly puts others in danger.

HEREBY PERMITTING:
  1. The ownership and production said weapons by nations, planets, or other organizations.
  2. The military testing of said weapons on uninhabited desolate planets, moons, or asteroids, in uninhabited lifeless solar systems.
  3. The usage of said weapons as a last resort in the face of provoking non-WA nation attempting to annihilate the nation's planet with similar weapons of planetary destruction to protect WA nations from nations who would not have to adhere to this resolution.

MANDATING that before military testing, the proper precautions are taken and adequate evidence of lifelessness in planetary destruction areas.

FURTHER MANDATING that proper signals shall be sent to any nearby space vessels about the military testing that is taking place as to not lead to accidental loss of life.

HEREBY ENACTS a prohibition of planetary annihilation.


Real life reference, so the bill is illegal. Please correct your (joke?) bill.


Is star wars real life? I'm sorry I must be mistaken. Also, there are several nations in the Nation States universe who take place in the Star Wars universe also.
Last edited by Hakio on Sun Mar 09, 2014 12:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Defwa
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Postby Defwa » Sun Mar 09, 2014 12:31 pm

Draica wrote:"Can the Ambassador kindly tell me what entire "planets" have joined the World Assembly? This is insane. This is nonsense. There are no aliens, mister Ambassaor."

There are several interplanetary nations in the World Assembly such as the Aligned Planets. There's an entire region named The Milky Way Galaxy with multiple interplanetary empires within it.

I would personally like to see restriction on how much damage can be done per planet. Something along the lines of a weapon cannot, in a single volley cannot render more than 30% of the planet uninhabitable.
Last edited by Defwa on Sun Mar 09, 2014 12:33 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Postby Separatist Peoples » Sun Mar 09, 2014 12:32 pm

Draica wrote:"Can the Ambassador kindly tell me what entire "planets" have joined the World Assembly? This is insane. This is nonsense. There are no aliens, mister Ambassaor."


"Well, theres Aniocra, which has a vast, interstellar empire. There are representatives from the Rebel Alliance and from the United Federation of Planets. That is just what comes to mind off the top of my head, ambassador. There are hundreds of members of other planets serving in the World Assembly."

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Draica
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Postby Draica » Sun Mar 09, 2014 12:40 pm

"OK, appearently aliens do exist. Do these aliens wage war against eachother?"
Draica is a Federal Republic nation ran by conservatives and Libertarians! If you ever wanna rp a state visit, a war, a debate with one of my leaders or a conservative/libertarian philosopher, or just wanna tg me in general(I like TGs) drop me a TG!
Allies: Pantorrum, Korgenstin, Zebraltar, Kiribati-Tarawa, Democratic Sabha. Idoa, Allaena, Lledia.
Enemies: Arkania 5, any communist nation, Drakorvanyia.
Wars:

The Draican-Arkanian war: On-going

The Waldensian-Draican-Kiribati Cold War: Won. Dissolution of Communist Government in Waldensia

The Draican-Die erworbenen Namen war: Draica successfully defended, retaliation called off.

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Postby Separatist Peoples » Sun Mar 09, 2014 12:40 pm

Draica wrote:"OK, appearently aliens do exist. Do these aliens wage war against eachother?"


"All the time."

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Sciongrad
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Postby Sciongrad » Sun Mar 09, 2014 12:50 pm

Fascinating!

Here are a few of my preliminary thoughts. The appalled clause needs to be reworked - references to specific planets (OOC: or in this case, movie references) are illegal. I can agree with the sentiment of the clause, but not as currently written. Furthermore, the wishing and the hoping clause could be combined to form one clause. Here's my rewrite of the preamble.

The General Assembly,

Reaffirming its extant commitments to peace, environmental preservation, and cultural conservation,

Condemning instances of "planetary annihilation," in which entire planets are destroyed, as a flagrant contravention of the aforementioned commitments,

Resolving to prohibit such instances of wanton destruction and to protect planets from such an extraordinary degree of violence,

Hereby...


Now for the operative clauses. I feel like the operative verbs should be written in the present tense rather than the present progressive. Hereby "prohibits" sounds better than "hereby prohibiting," I think. There are also several grammatical errors.

The ownership and production of said weapons by nations, planets, or other organizations.


Furthermore, clauses in the operative section should be divided by semicolons, unless in list form, in which case all points but the last should be separated by comma while the last is ended with a semi-colon. Currently, all of your operative clauses end with periods, which doesn't make a whole lot of grammatical sense. Also, cut the last line. It's redundant and doesn't make grammatical sense. "The World Assembly hereby hereby enacts a prohibition on planetary annihilation." doesn't exactly sit well with me.

Other than that, I don't have much to say at this point. I typically don't like the arbitrary division between member nations and non-member nations, but I can see the need for that here. I'll comment in the future as I see issues, but keep up the good work.
Last edited by Sciongrad on Mon Mar 10, 2014 1:24 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Hakio
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Postby Hakio » Sun Mar 09, 2014 12:53 pm

Sciongrad wrote:Fascinating!

Here are a few of my preliminary thoughts. The appalled clause needs to be reworked - references to specific planets (OOC: or in this case, movie references) are illegal. I can agree with the sentiment of the clause, but not as currently written. Furthermore, the wishing and the hoping clause could be combined to form one clause. Here's my rewrite of the preamble.

The General Assembly,

Reaffirming its extant commitments to peace, environmental preservation, and cultural conservation,

Condemning instances of "planetary annihilation," in which entire planets are destroyed, as a flagrant contravention of the aforementioned commitments,

Resolving to prohibit such instances of wanton destruction and to protect planets from such an extraordinary degree of violence,

Hereby...


Now for the operative clauses. I feel like the operative verbs should be written in the present tense rather than the present progressive. Hereby "prohibits" sounds better than "hereby prohibiting," I think. Other than that, I don't have much to say at this point. I typically don't like the arbitrary division between member nations and non-member nations, but I can see the need for that here. I'll comment in the future as I see issues, but keep up the good work.


Thanks for your feedback! Also yeah the whole Alderaan thing was a joke but I was wondering if it would be legal or not. :lol2:
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Sciongrad
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Postby Sciongrad » Sun Mar 09, 2014 12:55 pm

Hakio wrote:Thanks for your feedback! Also yeah the whole Alderaan thing was a joke but I was wondering if it would be legal or not. :lol2:


OOC: Oh, I found it funny. :lol: I just wanted you to know that it wasn't legal down the road. I've also made an edit to my previous post about the grammar of the proposal, which might be good to take a look at when you get the chance.
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The Dark Star Republic
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Postby The Dark Star Republic » Sun Mar 09, 2014 1:11 pm

"For starters, this should obviously be Global Disarmament, rather than Human Rights.

"I'm also not sure why you're talking about solar systems and galaxies. Both of those contain planets. A weapon capable of destroying a galaxy is by definition one capable of destroying a planet."

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Draica
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Postby Draica » Sun Mar 09, 2014 1:12 pm

Separatist Peoples wrote:
Draica wrote:"OK, appearently aliens do exist. Do these aliens wage war against eachother?"


"All the time."



"Sounds like an issue. Do they attack planetary countries like mine?"
Draica is a Federal Republic nation ran by conservatives and Libertarians! If you ever wanna rp a state visit, a war, a debate with one of my leaders or a conservative/libertarian philosopher, or just wanna tg me in general(I like TGs) drop me a TG!
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Postby Separatist Peoples » Sun Mar 09, 2014 1:14 pm

Draica wrote:
Separatist Peoples wrote:
"All the time."



"Sounds like an issue. Do they attack planetary countries like mine?"


OOC: Depends on how you RP. However, its pretty irrelevant to the issue at hand.

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Extraplanetary Outpost 02 New Horizons
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Postby Extraplanetary Outpost 02 New Horizons » Sun Mar 09, 2014 4:22 pm

"As a non-Earth planetary society, this proposition will receive our utmost support from our government and our people as a whole."
-Extraplanetary Outpost 02 New Horizons Ambassador to the World Assembly, Name Withheld

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Postby Draica » Sun Mar 09, 2014 4:32 pm

Extraplanetary Outpost 02 New Horizons wrote:"As a non-Earth planetary society, this proposition will receive our utmost support from our government and our people as a whole."
-Extraplanetary Outpost 02 New Horizons Ambassador to the World Assembly, Name Withheld


"I have questions. One, has any weapon capable of planetary destruction been invented?"
Draica is a Federal Republic nation ran by conservatives and Libertarians! If you ever wanna rp a state visit, a war, a debate with one of my leaders or a conservative/libertarian philosopher, or just wanna tg me in general(I like TGs) drop me a TG!
Allies: Pantorrum, Korgenstin, Zebraltar, Kiribati-Tarawa, Democratic Sabha. Idoa, Allaena, Lledia.
Enemies: Arkania 5, any communist nation, Drakorvanyia.
Wars:

The Draican-Arkanian war: On-going

The Waldensian-Draican-Kiribati Cold War: Won. Dissolution of Communist Government in Waldensia

The Draican-Die erworbenen Namen war: Draica successfully defended, retaliation called off.

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Postby Extraplanetary Outpost 02 New Horizons » Sun Mar 09, 2014 4:40 pm

Draica wrote:
Extraplanetary Outpost 02 New Horizons wrote:"As a non-Earth planetary society, this proposition will receive our utmost support from our government and our people as a whole."
-Extraplanetary Outpost 02 New Horizons Ambassador to the World Assembly, Name Withheld


"I have questions. One, has any weapon capable of planetary destruction been invented?"

"Perhaps not one capable of utterly decimating a planet in terms of removing it from the plane of existence or breaking apart the planet itself, but there are weapons capable of destroying the planetary ecosystem. Such a weapon reverts a planet into a rocky, barren sphere, and is capable of killing most life forms on a planet. This can be classified as destruction on a planetary level."
Last edited by Extraplanetary Outpost 02 New Horizons on Sun Mar 09, 2014 4:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Grays Harbor
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Postby Grays Harbor » Sun Mar 09, 2014 4:54 pm

Draica wrote:"Can the Ambassador kindly tell me what entire "planets" have joined the World Assembly? This is insane. This is nonsense. There are no aliens, mister Ambassaor."

And you would be wrong. Very wrong. Incredibly wrong. Wrong taken to new epic proportions.

Seeing a pattern?
Everything you know about me is wrong. Or a rumor. Something like that.

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Defwa
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Postby Defwa » Sun Mar 09, 2014 5:18 pm

Draica wrote:
Extraplanetary Outpost 02 New Horizons wrote:"As a non-Earth planetary society, this proposition will receive our utmost support from our government and our people as a whole."
-Extraplanetary Outpost 02 New Horizons Ambassador to the World Assembly, Name Withheld


"I have questions. One, has any weapon capable of planetary destruction been invented?"

A large enough nuclear device can do that.
This proposal would act as a catch all for all weapons of obscenely massive destruction, nuclear or otherwise.
__________Federated City States of ____________________Defwa__________
Federation Head High Wizard of Dal Angela Landfree
Ambassadorial Delegate Maestre Wizard Mikyal la Vert

President and World Assembly Delegate of the Democratic Socialist Assembly
Defwa offers assistance with humanitarian aid, civilian evacuation, arbitration, negotiation, and human rights violation monitoring.

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Draica
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Postby Draica » Sun Mar 09, 2014 5:24 pm

"I have no more questions. Just know this has my vote."
Draica is a Federal Republic nation ran by conservatives and Libertarians! If you ever wanna rp a state visit, a war, a debate with one of my leaders or a conservative/libertarian philosopher, or just wanna tg me in general(I like TGs) drop me a TG!
Allies: Pantorrum, Korgenstin, Zebraltar, Kiribati-Tarawa, Democratic Sabha. Idoa, Allaena, Lledia.
Enemies: Arkania 5, any communist nation, Drakorvanyia.
Wars:

The Draican-Arkanian war: On-going

The Waldensian-Draican-Kiribati Cold War: Won. Dissolution of Communist Government in Waldensia

The Draican-Die erworbenen Namen war: Draica successfully defended, retaliation called off.

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Hakio
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Postby Hakio » Sun Mar 09, 2014 5:34 pm

I'd like to thank you all for taking such an interest in my draft and for those who support it. Just a little update: Second draft will be written tomorrow or by Tuesday.
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WA Voting History
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