[SILLY] GA Joke Proposals Only

[HighHaar]

Repeal This Resolution
Category: Repeal | Resolution: This

The General Assembly,
Not knowing what will exactly happen if This Resolution repeals This Resolution,
Curious about the possibility to create a paradox,
Even more curious about the possibility to create a Schrödinger Resolution which is at the same time passed and repealed,
Hopeful that this will not result in the creation of a black hole.

Hereby passes This Resolution to repeal This Resolution

Don't know if this was already a thing but I wished to give my humble contribut- OH S***

[States of Glory WA Office]

On The Ninth Day of Christmas

The World Assembly,

NOTING that it is the ninth day of Christmas,

FURIOUS that this resolution's title begins with the word 'on',

ANNOYED that many people erroneously sing 'calling birds' on the fourth verse instead of 'colly birds' and 'golden rings' on the fifth verse instead of 'gold rings',

IGNORING the fact that presenting ladies as gifts violates GA #23 and GA #35,

HEREBY:

1. SENDS to its true love:
   
   • Nine ladies dancing,
   • Eight maids a-milking,
   • Seven swans a-swimming,
   • Six geese a-laying,
   • FIVE...
   • GOLD...
   • RINGS!!!
   • Four colly birds,
   • Trois poules francaises,
   • Two turtle doves, and
   • A partridge in a pear tree,
2. ESTABLISHES the World Assembly Commission Against Mondegreens (WACAM) which shall ensure that people sing 'colly birds' on the fourth verse instead of 'calling birds' and that people sing 'gold rings' on the fifth verse instead of 'golden rings',
   
   
3. BRIBES the Compliance Commission so that certain aspects of this resolution can be overlooked,
   
   
4. CLARIFIES that the gifts specified in Clause One are to be sent and not given.

[States of Glory WA Office]

On The Tenth Day of Christmas

The World Assembly,

NOTING that it is the tenth day of Christmas,

FURIOUS that this resolution's title begins with the word 'on',

ANNOYED that many people erroneously sing 'calling birds' on the fourth verse instead of 'colly birds' and 'golden rings' on the fifth verse instead of 'gold rings',

IGNORING the fact that presenting ladies as gifts violates GA #23 and GA #35,

BELIEVING that it is improper for lords to be treated as slaves,

SADDENED by the fact that the player behind States of Glory WA Office is feeling unwell on the night before the night before Christmas,

HEREBY:

1. SENDS to its true love:
   
   • Ten lords a-leaping,
   • Nine ladies dancing,
   • Eight maids a-milking,
   • Seven swans a-swimming,
   • Six geese a-laying,
   • FIVE...
   • GOLD...
   • RINGS!!!
   • Four colly birds,
   • Trois poules francaises,
   • Two turtle doves, and
   • A partridge in a pear tree,
2. ESTABLISHES the World Assembly Commission Against Mondegreens (WACAM) which shall ensure that people sing 'colly birds' on the fourth verse instead of 'calling birds' and that people sing 'gold rings' on the fifth verse instead of 'golden rings',
   
   
3. BRIBES the Compliance Commission so that certain aspects of this resolution can be overlooked,
   
   
4. CLARIFIES that the gifts specified in Clause One are to be sent and not given.

[States of Glory WA Office]

On The Eleventh Day of Christmas

The World Assembly,

NOTING that it is the eleventh day of Christmas,

FURIOUS that this resolution's title begins with the word 'on',

ANNOYED that many people erroneously sing 'calling birds' on the fourth verse instead of 'colly birds' and 'golden rings' on the fifth verse instead of 'gold rings',

IGNORING the fact that presenting ladies as gifts violates GA #23 and GA #35,

BELIEVING that it is improper for lords to be treated as slaves,

SADDENED by the fact that the player behind States of Glory WA Office is feeling unwell on the night before Christmas,

HEREBY:

1. SENDS to its true love:
   
   • Eleven pipers piping,
   • Ten lords a-leaping,
   • Nine ladies dancing,
   • Eight maids a-milking,
   • Seven swans a-swimming,
   • Six geese a-laying,
   • FIVE...
   • GOLD...
   • RINGS!!!
   • Four colly birds,
   • Trois poules francaises,
   • Two turtle doves, and
   • A partridge in a pear tree,
2. ESTABLISHES the World Assembly Commission Against Mondegreens (WACAM) which shall ensure that people sing 'colly birds' on the fourth verse instead of 'calling birds' and that people sing 'gold rings' on the fifth verse instead of 'golden rings',
   
   
3. BRIBES the Compliance Commission so that certain aspects of this resolution can be overlooked,
   
   
4. CLARIFIES that the gifts specified in Clause One are to be sent and not given.

[Erutenia]

Recognizing Cheese Act

The World Assembly,

Aware that cheese is a good food,

Shocked the World Assembly has not recognized cheese,

Defines cheese as "a certain delicious dairy food that comes from a cow,"

Officially Recognizes cheese as a good food,

Creates the World Assembly Cheese Administration (WACA) to supervise and help global cheeses and to promote cheese worldwide,

Mandates that members provide citizens with sufficient amounts of cheese,

Urges citizens of member nations to eat the cheese,

Prohibits the use of the term that is disrespectful to cheese, "cut the cheese."

Cheese is bad

[The Derpy Democratic Republic Of Herp]

Cheese is bad

[Omarango]

Repeal "Repeal ban on baby eating"
Category: Repeal
Strength: Meaningless
The world assembly,
REALISING that the resolution "ban on baby eating" has not been repealed
OBSERVING that baby eating is bad
INSISTING that nations should not be allowed to eat babies
WISHING to repeal the resolution " repeal ban on baby eating" at a latter date
BELIEVING IN OUR HEARTS that "a ban on baby eating" has already been repealed has already been repealed.
IGNORING all of the evidence to the contrary
HEREBY does nothing

Later on...
Repeal "Ban on baby eating"
NOTING that there is a logical connection between 'baby eating should be allowed' and 'all grass is purple'
ASSERTING that baby eating should be allowed, and therefore that all grass is purple
LAUGTHING UNCONTROLLABLY at anyone who doesn't see that this is an argument that baby eating should be allowed
REALISING that this is a circular argument
THINKING that this resolution has already been repealed
KNOWING that the repeal did not do anything
DEDUCING that this resolution will not pass as, if it did, then the repeal would do something
ENCOURAGING nations that don't agree with this resolution to vote for it anyway, as it wont pass whatever you do
SECRETLY MARVELLING at my genius in writing the repeal for this resolution, and stating that it did not do anything, just so that I could put this in here
CLAIMING VICTORY through my deductive prowess and dedication to the baby eating course
HEARBY repeals the resolution 'ban on baby eating'

[States of Glory WA Office]

On The Twelfth Day of Christmas

The World Assembly,

NOTING that it is Christmas Day,

FURIOUS that this resolution's title begins with the word 'on',

ANNOYED that many people erroneously sing 'calling birds' on the fourth verse instead of 'colly birds' and 'golden rings' on the fifth verse instead of 'gold rings',

IGNORING the fact that presenting ladies as gifts violates GA #23 and GA #35,

BELIEVING that it is improper for lords to be treated as slaves,

FORGETTING that drummers are the cause of many a noise complaint,

SADDENED by the fact that the player behind States of Glory WA Office is feeling unwell on Christmas,

HEREBY:

1. SENDS to its true love:
   
   • Twelve drummers drumming,
   • Eleven pipers piping,
   • Ten lords a-leaping,
   • Nine ladies dancing,
   • Eight maids a-milking,
   • Seven swans a-swimming,
   • Six geese a-laying,
   • FIVE...
   • GOLD...
   • RINGS!!!
   • Four colly birds,
   • Trois poules francaises,
   • Two turtle doves, and
   • A partridge in a pear tree,
2. ESTABLISHES the World Assembly Commission Against Mondegreens (WACAM) which shall ensure that people sing 'colly birds' on the fourth verse instead of 'calling birds' and that people sing 'gold rings' on the fifth verse instead of 'golden rings',
   
   
3. BRIBES the Compliance Commission so that certain aspects of this resolution can be overlooked,
   
   
4. CLARIFIES that the gifts specified in Clause One are to be sent and not given,
   
   
5. WISHES everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

[Calladan]

On The Twelfth Day of Christmas

The World Assembly,

NOTING that it is Christmas Day,

FURIOUS that this resolution's title begins with the word 'on',

ANNOYED that many people erroneously sing 'calling birds' on the fourth verse instead of 'colly birds' and 'golden rings' on the fifth verse instead of 'gold rings',

IGNORING the fact that presenting ladies as gifts violates GA #23 and GA #35,

BELIEVING that it is improper for lords to be treated as slaves,

FORGETTING that drummers are the cause of many a noise complaint,

SADDENED by the fact that the player behind States of Glory WA Office is feeling unwell on Christmas,

HEREBY:

1. SENDS to its true love:
   
   • Twelve drummers drumming,
   • Eleven pipers piping,
   • Ten lords a-leaping,
   • Nine ladies dancing,
   • Eight maids a-milking,
   • Seven swans a-swimming,
   • Six geese a-laying,
   • FIVE...
   • GOLD...
   • RINGS!!!
   • Four colly birds,
   • Trois poules francaises,
   • Two turtle doves, and
   • A partridge in a pear tree,
2. ESTABLISHES the World Assembly Commission Against Mondegreens (WACAM) which shall ensure that people sing 'colly birds' on the fourth verse instead of 'calling birds' and that people sing 'gold rings' on the fifth verse instead of 'golden rings',
   
   
3. BRIBES the Compliance Commission so that certain aspects of this resolution can be overlooked,
   
   
4. CLARIFIES that the gifts specified in Clause One are to be sent and not given,
   
   
5. WISHES everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Title : Commend "States of Glory WA Office"
Category : I know The GA doesn't do "Commend" resolutions but screw it, it's Christmas so suck it up and deal with it
Strength : The Power Of Christmas Compels you

Being suitably impressed at the attention to detail, duty and dedication that the last twelve resolutions took

And being equally impressive with the modifications and updates every day since D-12

The World Assembly & The General Assembly hereby commends and congratulates States of Glory WA Office for their work on the "on the nth day of Christmas Resolutions"

[New Communist and Socialist Unions]

Ban on Oxygen|Stronk: Weaker than a fly|Category: IDK
REALIZING that lowborns do not need oxygen
OBSERVING that all highborns need oxygen
HEREBY states that all people without 1,000,000 dollars cannot have oxygen

OOC: What if the emperor had a text-to-speech engine?

[The Atlae Isles]

Repeal "Ban on Oxygen"

The World Assembly,

Noting the blatant health hazards of banning oxygen,

Observing the obvious attempt of genocide of the poor,

Denouncing the language used,

Aldo Nting dat lax og ogxyn mkes slpelling hrda,

Herby repeals, "Ban on Oxygen."

[Calladan]

Title : World Assembly Nuclear Kibitzing Eradication Resolution (Suggested)
Area of Affect : World Assembly
Strength : Infinite

Noting the insane amount of proposals relating to nuclear arms in the last two months,

Noting that you can't swing a cat without seeing a new one,

Noting that every time one gets passed it seems to get repealed,

Noting that it is starting to get confusing as to what is actually going on and what is actually law,

and Noting this can't be good for anyone,

The WA hereby :-

1) Forbids itself from interfering on the topic of nuclear armament or disarmament within member nations,

2) Leaves all future decisions to member nations,

3) Apologises for the title of the resolution, but does it admit the use of the word kibitzing was inspired,

5) Admits count is not its strong point,

F) Admits consistency isn't either,

7) Hopes with a passion this will put the topic to bed once and for all.

[Bakhton]

Nuke Nuclear Weapons Accord From the Wrong Hands of Dastardly Nuclear Menaces

AWARE that nuclear weaponry is bad,

BELIEVING that dastardly nuclear menaces may use their nuclear weapons in ways that are bad,

DEFINES 'Dastardly Nuclear Menaces' as nations with nuclear weapons and overly large mustaches,

DEFINES the 'Wrong Hands' as not being the right hands,

WISHING to stop Dastardly Nuclear Menaces (DNM) from using their nuclear arsenals in dastardly ways,

MANDATES, hereby, that all nuclear arsenals shall be nuked by nuclear weaponry from other member nations,

MANDATES all deployed nuclear missiles to be shot down by other nuclear missiles to celebrate national holidays,

MANDATES all member nations defined as Dastardly Nuclear Menaces to use nuclear weaponry against their own arsenals.

[States of Glory WA Office]

DEFINES the 'Wrong Hands' as not being the right hands,

Basically, this proposal discriminates against southpaws. Most vehemently against.

[Tzorsland]

THE FREE SPEECH PROTOCOL

UNDERSTANDING the importance of Free Speech in society,

ACKNOWLEDGING the necessity of national governments to ensure such rights,

The World Assembly,

REQUIRES all member nations to employ speakers who will be assigned to speak on street corners for no charge.

SINCE they cannot charge for their speech, as they are being employed by the member nation, their speech is "FREE" to all passers by,

THUS establishing FREE SPEECH in the nation as a fundamental right, the World Assembly also

URGES nations to consider such speech PUBLIC DOMAIN and prohibit anyone charging for the rebroadcast of said speeches.

[Omarango]

Repeal This Resolution
Category: Repeal | Resolution: This

The General Assembly,
Not knowing what will exactly happen if This Resolution repeals This Resolution,
Curious about the possibility to create a paradox,
Even more curious about the possibility to create a Schrödinger Resolution which is at the same time passed and repealed,
Hopeful that this will not result in the creation of a black hole.

Hereby passes This Resolution to repeal This Resolution

Don't know if this was already a thing but I wished to give my humble contribut- OH S***

Repeal 'repeal this resolution'
The World Assembly:
Wishing to find loopholes in its own rules,
Further Wanting to repeal a repeal with a legal resolution,
Convinced that the only way to do this is to repeal a resolution that is at the same time a repeal and a resolution in its own right,
Theorising that some may still object to the legality of this resolution,
Responding with the insight that the resolution in question is technically illegal, as it repeals itself, which is a repeal, which is all the more reason we should repeal it,
Noting that we should not risk a black hole forming any longer,
Hereby repeals the repeal of itself, validating the repeal and plunging the world assembly into a paridoxical existential crisis

[Computria]

The World Assembly,

Understanding the need for stricter grammar rules,

Hereby bans the use of prepositions as things that are used to end a sentence with.

[Cogoria]

Peace Gnomes
Category: Education
Strength: Strong
Forms the committee of PeaceGnomes
Tasks this committee with sending Gnomes to areas of aggressive behaviour
Orders deployed Gnomes to waggle there fingers at every object in the area and utter the phrase "What would your mother think of this hmmmm?"
Requires the committee with repeating these actions until such a time as the aggressive behaviour abates.
Recommends all nations make a donation of cheese to active PeaceGnomes to ensure lively finger waggling, thus increasing Gnome effectiveness.

[Kaboomlandia]

Welcome to the World Assembly!

I suggest you read the rules first.

[Frisbeeteria]

(Daft) PeaceGnomes

You misspelled the title. Fixed it for you.

[Araraukar]

Welcome to the World Assembly!

I suggest you read the rules first.

OOC: He's not new to GA, so I can only assume this is a joke proposal he forgot to post in the appropriate thread and which Fris for some reason didn't tow there...

[Cogoria]

It would seem drunk me gt up to some drafting last night........ Though he did make me breakfast*, so in return I, Sober Cogoria, do pledge that I will edit this until it is a legal resolution and try to get peace gnomes passed!!


*He left some burnt toast in the oven for me :/

[Araraukar]

It would seem drunk me gt up to some drafting last night........ Though he did make me breakfast*, so in return I, Sober Cogoria, do pledge that I will edit this until it is a legal resolution and try to get peace gnomes passed!!

OOC: Resolutions affecting gnomes have been deemed illegal before.

[Cogoria]

That's Gnomist, and no reason to trash my proposal, I clearly said I intended to work on it to make it legal. I will be posting it again to work on it. Please don't l remove it without giving me time to work on it again, that was uncalled for.

[Araraukar]

Please don't l remove it without giving me time to work on it again, that was uncalled for.

...are you sure you're sober this time?