[SILLY] GA Joke Proposals Only

[The Ice States]

Concerned that, while there are nearly 20000 member nations, there are over 270000 non-member nations, many of which are imperialist, fascist tyrannies whose very existence goes against the goals of this institution to promote peace and unity;

Noting, however, that member nations have greater power to collaborate with each other to end the existence of non-member nations, as this body can work to facilitate unity in bringing this menace to an end;

Thrilled that the threat of invasion by the World Assembly will undoubtedly coerce many non-member nations to reconsider their status and enter the World Assembly lest they be invaded;

Convinced, too, that once non-member nations are invaded, they can be looted, providing a source of funding which will not only compensate for the cost of such invasions, but also help member nations comply with the onerous, bureaucratic net of 670+ resolutions passed by this body;

Believing that as there is already an armed force of the World Assembly, the International Enforcement Commmission, we may as well use it to help promote peace and unity by placing the world under the benevolent jurisdiction of the World Assembly, a process which will provide immense benefits to this body;

The World Assembly enacts as follows.

1. Targets: The WACC shall maintain a list of every non-member nation, and its military and diplomatic influence and power, as well as its likelihood of joining the World Assembly. Every week, or when the last Section 2 invasion has concluded -- whichever is sooner -- the WACC shall make a shortlist of the most powerful non-member nations, and randomly select one nation from this shortlist. The WACC, if it views that doing so would help coerce more non-member nations to join the World Assembly, may exclude nations from this shortlist based on their likelihood of joining the World Assembly. The WACC shall promptly publish what member nation it has selected.
   
   
2. Invasions: Every member nation must invade the non-member nation selected by the WACC in Section 1; and do so in good faith and to the maximal extent possible without significantly burdening the finances or economy of that member nation. No member nation or entity therein may wilfully obstruct the invasion.
   
   
   1. The International Enforcement Commission (IEC) shall direct the process of the invasion, and share any logistical aid, intelligence, or other relevant information which would assist member nations in conducting the invasion. Member nations shall, on the request of the IEC, provide the IEC with any relevant facts or intelligence which may be used to facilitate the invasion.
      
      
   2. Once the invasion target is fully under the jurisdiction of member nations, the IEC shall seize any items in the invasion target likely to be of material value, except where keeping them in the invasion target would result in increased profits which may be seized by the IEC, which it shall so seize. No member nation or entity therein may obstruct the process of distributing (per Section 3) or seizing items in the invasion target.
   
   
3. Profit distribution: Items seized under Section 2b shall be sold or otherwise used by the IEC to provide the maximal economic profit possible. This profit shall be distributed to every member nation which participated in the invasion, with more funds being provided to those member nations which contributed more to the invasion. A member nation may refuse to receive such profit, in which case its share of funds would instead be added to the WA General Fund.
   
   
4. Non-compliance: Once every nation is under World Assembly jurisdiction, the WACC may order Section 2 invasions of every member nation which has either violated this resolution, or drafted or submitted a World Assembly proposal which would have prohibited this resolution. However, the World Assembly guarantees that no invasion of a member nation fully compliant with World Assembly law may take place outside of this resolution.

[Simone Republic]

[box]
*snip*

(OOC)

I call for The Ice States to be invaded the minute this resolution passes this followed by all of your other puppets.

[Cessarea]

Repeal “Read the Resolution Act”
By: Disgruntled WA legislators

Draft Count: nth

Target Resolution: GA#122

As of: 03/10/23

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The World Assembly,

Disgruntled by the seemingly random tides of fate that regulate the way through which member nations vote in proposals presented to the hallowed, oddly stinky chambers of the General Assembly,

Completely flabbergasted, given the failures of attempts to predict such votes via Tarot, Stargazing, Mindreading, and/or Humane, WA-approved Torture,

Shocked at the constant low-effort analyses postulated by member nations' delegations, who clearly have not read the resolution or its involved interpretations,

Frankly annoyed at the inability to get our proposals through without having to campaign shit so you fuckers actually vote properly,

Hoping that the WA elite eventually overtakes this flawed democracy to form a more perfect union of member nations,

Hereby repeals Read the Resolution.

[The Ice States]

Noting that despite the best efforts of the World Assembly via such resolutions as GA #665 and GA #52, the issue of starvation still exists in many member nations;

Further noting the nutritious content of the body of homo sapiens, such that its recycling into food for sapient consumption would in no doubt end the issue of world hunger,

The World Assembly enacts as follows.

1. Funding: Monies from the WA General Fund shall be used to fund an international corporation by the name of the Soylent Corporation. The Soylent Corporation, hereinafter "Corporation", shall operate from internationally neutral territory, and no member nation, or administrative or political subdivision (hereinafter "subdivision") thereof, may impose any tariff, or other trade restriction, on the Corporation.
   
   
2. Recycling: Upon the death of a natural person, a member nation of jurisdiction must promptly render the body of that person to the Corporation. The Corporation shall establish liaison offices within member nations for the purpose of receiving such bodies, as well as promptly recycling them into food products.
   
   
   1. No member nation or subdivision thereof may obstruct the process of rendering or recycling bodies under this Section. However, a member nation may delegate the responsibility of rendering bodies under this Section to its subdivisions as long as full coverage of that nation's jurisdiction is achieved.
      
      
   2. An individual's death shall be considered a form of consent to Section 2 recycling. Accordingly, documentation of an individual's death, such as a death certificate, constitutes written consent to Section 2 recycling.
3. Distribution: Section 2 food products shall be distributed for free in every member nation at a quantity sufficient to minimise starvation of any individual within World Assembly jurisdiction. Where an excess quantity of Section 2 food products exist within a member nation for this purpose, the Corporation shall transfer all excesses of such products to any member nation in which a shortage of Section 2 products exists.
   
   
4. Contradiction: Should a provision of this resolution contradict some past World Assembly resolution still in force, that previous resolution takes precedence.

[Homalia]

Noting the fact that many regions do not have toilets,

Believing toilets to be a necessary need for humans to be appreciated,

Acknowledging that human waste can be used as a fertilizer,

Appalled that anyone would actually do that,

Starting now all toilets are now mandatory.

[Outremer Arabia]

Rights of Worms

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The Wormophile Assembly The General Assembly

UNDERSTANDING that worms are not only cool, but they are also the greatest, most intelligent living beings that have ever existed in the Multiverse,

ALSO UNDERSTANDING that a great takeover of the multiverse is not just possible, but inevitable,

Hereby enacts the following,

1. DEFINITIONS
a. “worms” shall be defined as ‘any living being that fits the requirements to be a worm’
b. “Worm-worship” shall be defined as ‘the religion where worms are considered as deities’

2. MANDATES
a. Worm-worship will be declared the official religion of the World Assembly
b.any nation that that doesn’t have Worm-worship as the official religion will have their government immediately dismantled by WA peacekeepers
c. shrines that are as large as a mountain must be built at least 6 million times in any given nation
d. All worms in a WA nation must be given Large, luxurious palaces that can keep them safe from evil worm-hating people
e.Any nation that disagrees with this proposal will have their government immediately dismantled by WA peacekeepers
Written by Outremer Arabia

[Army of Revolutions]

Members of the World Assembly,
Acknowledging the WA has existed for the last 15 years,

Knowing that many nations aren't in the WA,

Believing that the creation of the WA was a mistake,

Observing that the WA has legislated on nearly every topic,

I say the WA needs to go,

Forcing all regions with at least 1 WA member to eject all WA members,

Concerned that the WA has nearly 700 pieces of legislation and still can't all agree,

Believing that the WA shouldn't exist and NatSov is the only thing that matters,

Understanding that some want to end the WA,

Believing there is no point to the WA anymore,

Supporting this repeal through AMPOL enforcement,

Relying on all past legislation to support this repeal,

Also creating the swaggy juicy new Global Convention to replace the WA,

Hereby blocks all future legislation by any international body for the next 20 years,

Hereby creates war as a mechanic in Nationstates,

Hereby repeals GAR#1: "The World Assembly"

[The Dinland]

International Kindergartens
A resolution to handle children across the international community.
Category: Welfare | Strength: Medium | Proposed by: The Dinland

The World Assembly,
Recognizing the fact that many people in the international community behave like children
Determined to educate the community
Appalled at the childish behaviour in many regional communities
Acts as follows:

Definitions:

• Chilidish behaviour: any behaviour that reminds the beholder of a kindergarten.
• Kindergarten: An institution for children aged 3–7 years old that prepares and matures children for life. Used here as an institution that educates really dumb and childish people.

1. An international kindergarten shall be set up in every WA member nation, which cares for and educates people – especially international leaders, delegates, etc. – to behave like a normal person in front of an international and national community.
2. An international kindergarten shall receive enough funding to educate an average (evenly distributed) number of childish people.
3.  Each nation shall be responsible for ensuring responsibility on their leaders and delegates.

[Fishelle]

Candy Distribution Act :3
Proposed by: [We don't have an exact record of their whereabouts but their name is "Floofy"]

Due to a spread of boringness in the world, I'll do something about it.
First of all, purify all humans into the heavenly state of floof.
Second of all, give out free cookies to WA Members to celebrate this day.

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The proposal was marked illegal for 2 reasons:
- Contradicts International Kindergartens
- Just a poorly written attempt to spread the Candyrus via the WA. For context, the Candyrus turns its victim humans into immature creatures notorious for their cute appearance, and their unyielding attempts to look mature in hopes of infecting political leaders.[/hr]

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Condemn "Floofy"
Proposed by: [A Sane WA Member]

RECOGNIZING their immaturity
DISGRUNTLED by how they harbor the Candyrus, and their attempts to spread it onto fellow WA members
ESTABLISHING that "Floofy" should be removed from the WA, and that all traces of their sugary fur shall be vacuumed up, and incinerated
Hereby condemns "Floofy"

[Fachumonn]

JOKE??

DOOR HINGES


THE WORLD ASSEMBLY

OPENING THE DOOR to the fact that door hinges are not covered by this March 32nd body,

UNDERSTANDING CLEARLY AND SIMPLY that door hinges are the greatest invention of the 22nd century,

COGNIZANT OF DOOR HINGES usefulness as a rhyme for orange, where no others exist,

BAFFLED TO THE GREATEST EXTENT by the extent of negligence this body must have to not cover such an important and world-changing topic,

ACKNOWLEDGING that definitions are supposed to be useful,

DEFINES A DOOR HINGE AS A HINGE ON A DOOR


HERBY HERBY:

• REQUIRES EVERYBODY AND THEIR FRIENDS DOG to have door hinges that work well,
  
  
• IF FOR SOME REASON there are not door hinges on doors, that door must be immediately hinged,
  
  
• ESTABLISHES AND CREATES the MDHGA COMMITTEE, better known as MAKE DOOR HINGES GREAT AGAIN,
  
  
• MDHGA WILL WILLINGLY WILLFULLY WACKILY AND WANTINGLY obliterate any member-nations that oppose this policy,
  
  
• ENCOURAGING THE EFFORT to make door hinges great again,
  
  
• HEREBY NAMES DOOR HINGES AS THE GREATEST THING TO EVER BRACE THIS AUGUSTIAN REALM OF MULTIVERSES UPON MULTIVERSES.
  
  
• ANYBODY WHO DISOBEYS THIS WILL BE SENT TO A PRISON WITH FULLY FUNCTIONAL DOOR HINGES

[THe cHadS]

The World Assembly

Believing that WA nations would be safer and have greater civil rights upon the ban of water.

Defines:
Dihydrogen Monoxide as Water
Water as a dangerous chemical

Stating that water (H2O) is a dangerous substance, capable of killing many across WA nations.

Noting that 100% of persons who consume water suffer an untimely death, caused by the lack of healthy vitamins in the drink.

Mandates that the primary drink sold by beverage companies shall be a mix of healthy vitamins mixed with a non-water based liquid

Hereby bans water

[Zantalio]

Ban on the Inhalation of Atmospheric Air

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The General Assembly,

Believing that WA nations would be safer with the ban of breathing air,

Defines that:
1. Air as the gas that fills up the atmosphere,
2. Air is contaminated with carbon dioxide and other harmful stuff,

Noting that air can cause acute illnesses like asthma or lung cancer,

Mandates that air should be replaced with pure oxygen tanks for inhalation,

Hereby bans the inhalation of atmospheric air.