Islamic Republic Of Mosrael's proposal to Global Disarmament

[Islamic Republic of Mosrael]

Guys, this is my proposal at the General assembly. Add to it if you wish and telegram me. Remember, to approve, just go to the General Assembly, Proposals, and mine will be there.

GENERAL ASSEMBLY PROPOSAL
ID: islamic_republic_of_mosrael_1318788896

Global Disarmament
A resolution to slash worldwide military spending.


Category: Global Disarmament

Strength: Strong

Proposed by: Islamic Republic of Mosrael

Description: Nowadays, countries spend so much on Military spending, that it has simply gone out of control. For excuses such as terrorism, you can simply defeat terrorists with a simple AK, not high tech drone planes. Also, if countries cut down on military spending by even 50%, that could take famine and civil war stricken countries, like Somalia and Sierra Lione (for example), out of their critical conditions, and perhaps be a chance to start pleasant life there.

Thank you very much.

[Dizyntk]

"Let me do you the favor of being blunt, Ambassador. This is not a proposal. This is a musing, a thought that crossed your mind. It does not do anything. It has no actionable clauses and even if it did I would be completely opposed to the very concept behind it. I would suggest that you politely request that the mods remove it from the queue because they will do so anyway once one of them notices it. I would suggest that you take a little time and read the currently passed resolutions and get a feel for how they are writen before trying again."

"Also, please understand that it is considered proper etiquette to post a proposal here before submitting it for vote. this way other delegates may help you critique it and modify it to a passable form."

[The Restored Papal States]

Good intetions but very badly written. It is not in the right style, it certanly should not have been submitted yet, it needs a lot of drafting, i would recomend having it removed and re-drafting it here so other ambasadors can help work on it and make it viable.

[Syvorji]

Okay, I can see many violations. First, a lot of spaces, no actionable clauses and secondly, RL =/= NS, especially in these forums. Using RL countries as an example for a World Assembly proposal, is so bad that it will never work, nor even get it past the mods.

I may support the intent, but I advise you read the rulings of the Secretariat, Catherine Gratwick, on the top of these here forums.

In disgust,
Joesphine Katrina

[Tim-Opolis]

This is why you are supposed to post it here as a Draft before throwing it out for proposal.

It has good intentions, but....

It's terribly written and I am in a fair amount of disgust

Also. Don't mention real world countries in a WA Proposal... I'm pretty sure it's illegal

Also--- "you can simply defeat terrorists with a simple AK"

A simple AK... and what is an AK? You have to assume that people don't know what an AK is...

[Connopolis]

OOC: Welcome to the WA forums!

My advice to you would be:

1) Read through this; it's a list of all the resolutions passed to date.

2) Read through these; they're the rules concerning General Assembly proposals, and unfortunately, blogginess and referencing real world nations violate them.

Titles, formatting, and wording.

Always start with a preamble, such as:

The Generaly Assembly,

Noting...

Acknowledging...

Realizing...

Defining...

The World Assembly therefore resolves:

You don't need to use those verbs, but you should use something similar; the preamble is integral, and should clearly explain what the proposal is about.

Then there's the operative clauses, which are equally important, if not more important than the preambulatory clauses. Without operative clauses, your proposal is illegal. Common formatting includes:

1) The World Assembly shall...

2) Nations shall...

3) Nations are strongly encouraged...

a) Eat...
b) Drink...
c) Breath...

Mandates...

Encourages...

Prohibits...

Establishes...

To avoid bloginess, try and stay objective, and don't let any personal thoughts, ideologies, or feelings seep into the text of the proposal. Your proposal should be succinct, written coherently, without too much verbosity, and with relatively clear language.

Micromanaging

Never dictate what member states should do with their internal policies if it doesn't significantly benefit their citizens. For example, GAR#97 mandated internal policies in regards to healthcare, however, the provisions benefitted the constituents of the nation(s). Attempting to decide policies that do not benefit the nation/citizens is considered micromanaging, and should be avoided. For a well written guide on this: here.

Hope that helped.

[Cireco]

Even if this came to a vote The Republic of Cireco would deny the Islamic Republic of Mosrael's proposal. Being a small state Cireco needs a strong military to protect herself. Also with world-wide terrorism possibly becoming a problem the Nations of the world need to be amply prepared for such attacks. It is regrettable that we must turn against a regional ally but we could not vote for this if it was ever formally proposed in the GA.

WA Delegate of The Republic of Cireco,
Markus Gillespie

[Islamic Republic of Mosrael]

Everyone, I have changed my proposal to meet your standards. Yet, due to using the word AK (Ak 47), i cant ind it anymore. Help!!! It was actually really good, having, realizing, understanding and encouraging in it !!!!

[Islamic Republic of Mosrael]

This is it:

Dear World Assembly,
I wish to put an end to weapons. This is due to weapons being pointless, ruining the lives of many, and even partial, yet not complete Disarmament could save lives.

1)To realize that arms are useless.

A)Arms are killing many innocent people in different countries.
B) They encourage violence.
C) Millions of lives have been wasted due to arms

2) Understanding that even partial global disarmament could save lives

A) People in poor nations could get the share of the saved money, and spend it to recover from famine, draught, civil war, corruption etc
B) Wars are less likely to happen with national being disarmed
C) Global Disarmament would encourage worldwide peace

3) Prohibits nations to go past a certain limit of being armed.

4) Encourages nations to develop relationships with other nations.

5) Therefore, establishes a safer world for people to live in.

6)Nations are strongly encouraged to disarm 50% of their weaponry and strictly avoid the use of war.

Thank you very much.

[Skyrim Diplomacy]

This is it:

Dear World Assembly,
I wish to put an end to weapons. This is due to weapons being pointless, ruining the lives of many, and even partial, yet not complete Disarmament could save lives.

1)To realize that arms are useless.

A)Arms are killing many innocent people in different countries.
B) They encourage violence.
C) Millions of lives have been wasted due to arms

2) Understanding that even partial global disarmament could save lives

A) People in poor nations could get the share of the saved money, and spend it to recover from famine, draught, civil war, corruption etc
B) Wars are less likely to happen with national being disarmed
C) Global Disarmament would encourage worldwide peace

3) Prohibits nations to go past a certain limit of armament.

4) Encourages nations to develop relationships with other nations.

5) Therefore, establishes a safer world for people to live in.

6)Nations are strongly encouraged to follow the maximum limit of 50% disarmament and strictly avoid the use of war.

Thank you very much.

Still has lots of problems. Firstly, this is basically just a list of things you would like to see happen without actually imposing any laws. While nice and idealistic, it defeats the point of a proposal. Specifically, you have a lot of muddled wording. What is the "limit of armament" that nations cannot surpass? When you say that

Nations are strongly encouraged to follow the maximum limit of 50% disarmament and strictly avoid the use of war

do you mean something like nations must disarm 50% of their current weaponry?

[Islamic Republic of Mosrael]

This is it:

Dear World Assembly,
I wish to put an end to weapons. This is due to weapons being pointless, ruining the lives of many, and even partial, yet not complete Disarmament could save lives.

1)To realize that arms are useless.

A)Arms are killing many innocent people in different countries.
B) They encourage violence.
C) Millions of lives have been wasted due to arms

2) Understanding that even partial global disarmament could save lives

A) People in poor nations could get the share of the saved money, and spend it to recover from famine, draught, civil war, corruption etc
B) Wars are less likely to happen with national being disarmed
C) Global Disarmament would encourage worldwide peace

3) Prohibits nations to go past a certain limit of armament.

4) Encourages nations to develop relationships with other nations.

5) Therefore, establishes a safer world for people to live in.

6)Nations are strongly encouraged to follow the maximum limit of 50% disarmament and strictly avoid the use of war.

Thank you very much.

Still has lots of problems. Firstly, this is basically just a list of things you would like to see happen without actually imposing any laws. While nice and idealistic, it defeats the point of a proposal. Specifically, you have a lot of muddled wording. What is the "limit of armament" that nations cannot surpass? When you say that

Nations are strongly encouraged to follow the maximum limit of 50% disarmament and strictly avoid the use of war

do you mean something like nations must disarm 50% of their current weaponry?

yea, but what else can i do to improve, please help me.

[Skyrim Diplomacy]

This is it:

Dear World Assembly,
I wish to put an end to weapons. This is due to weapons being pointless, ruining the lives of many, and even partial, yet not complete Disarmament could save lives.

1)To realize that arms are useless.

A)Arms are killing many innocent people in different countries.
B) They encourage violence.
C) Millions of lives have been wasted due to arms

2) Understanding that even partial global disarmament could save lives

A) People in poor nations could get the share of the saved money, and spend it to recover from famine, draught, civil war, corruption etc
B) Wars are less likely to happen with national being disarmed
C) Global Disarmament would encourage worldwide peace

3) Prohibits nations to go past a certain limit of armament.

4) Encourages nations to develop relationships with other nations.

5) Therefore, establishes a safer world for people to live in.

6)Nations are strongly encouraged to follow the maximum limit of 50% disarmament and strictly avoid the use of war.

Thank you very much.

Still has lots of problems. Firstly, this is basically just a list of things you would like to see happen without actually imposing any laws. While nice and idealistic, it defeats the point of a proposal. Specifically, you have a lot of muddled wording. What is the "limit of armament" that nations cannot surpass? When you say that do you mean something like nations must disarm 50% of their current weaponry?

yea, but what else can i do to improve, please help me.

I would more clearly outline what you specifically want your bill to do. Reduce all armament by 50%? Then you need to make that more clear. As it stands now, your proposal has almost two paragraphs of ideology and two little snippets of actual action, which is really backwards.

[Islamic Republic of Mosrael]

How should I make it more clear? and I do have thing of action in there. Please help, I'm really confused.

[Skyrim Diplomacy]

How should I make it more clear? and I do have thing of action in there. Please help, I'm really confused.

We can't write your proposal for you. Well, we could, but then it would be our proposal. A cleaned sample of your bill is shown below:

Realizing that the vast armaments of the world are destructive tools of murder and genocide,

Noting that:

• Arms are killing many innocent people in different countries
• They encourage violence
• Millions of lives have been wasted due to this pervasive armament

Understanding that even partial global disarmament could save lives

Hereby Mandates that

• Nations do not seek further weaponization
• Nations reduce current armament stocks, including conventional and unconventional weaponry (projectile arms, nuclear, biological, chemical and all other forms of weaponry), by 50%

Note, however, that this bill would ultimately fail to reach the voting floor of the World Assembly. Massive disarmament such as this has been proposed multiple times and usually fails in outstanding fashion.

[Islamic Republic of Mosrael]

Mate, can you please approve it?

[Skyrim Diplomacy]

The proposal you have submitted is illegal under R4, as you reference an RL person, and will be deleted once a mod gets ahold of it. Also, you have blatant plagiarism without citing a co-author at this point.

[Islamic Republic of Mosrael]

But it's only a quote. How do I list you as a co author?

[Islamic Republic of Mosrael]

Alright. I'll repost another one, without naming anyone, or non at all, and put you as co-author. OK?

[Devons Island]

We can tell you right now that this will go precisely nowhere, fast. Disarm WA nations, and the non-WA nations maintain their full arsenal. Nice recipe for disaster. And before you ask, no, the WA may not mandate anything to non-WA nations.

[Segland]

This is what you call... a proposal?

[Islamic Republic of Mosrael]

This is the actual thing I submitted, with help from skyrim:

Realizing that the vast armaments of the world are destructive tools of murder and genocide.

A)Noting that:

1)Arms are killing many innocent people in different countries.
2)They encourage violence.
3)Millions of lives have been wasted due to this pervasive armament.

B)Understanding that even partial global disarmament could save lives.

C)Hereby Mandates that:
1)Nations do not seek further weaponization
2)Nations reduce current armament stocks, including 3)conventional and unconventional weaponry (projectile arms, nuclear, biological, chemical and all other forms of weaponry), by 50%

This would therefore establish a safer world for people to live in.

[Segland]

This is the actual thing I submitted, with help from skyrim:

Realizing that the vast armaments of the world are destructive tools of murder and genocide.

A)Noting that:

1)Arms are killing many innocent people in different countries.
2)They encourage violence.
3)Millions of lives have been wasted due to this pervasive armament.

B)Understanding that even partial global disarmament could save lives.

C)Hereby Mandates that:
1)Nations do not seek further weaponization
2)Nations reduce current armament stocks, including 3)conventional and unconventional weaponry (projectile arms, nuclear, biological, chemical and all other forms of weaponry), by 50%

This would therefore establish a safer world for people to live in.

No. This will never get past the mods. Sorry.

[Islamic Republic of Mosrael]

Mate, its been submitted less than an hour ago, and I already have 3 approvals.

[Segland]

I refuse to get rid of my precious nukes! *cries in corner*

[Hungramy]

This is it:

Dear World Assembly,
I wish to put an end to weapons. This is due to weapons being pointless, ruining the lives of many, and even partial, yet not complete Disarmament could save lives.

1)To realize that arms are useless.

A)Arms are killing many innocent people in different countries.
B) They encourage violence.
C) Millions of lives have been wasted due to arms

2) Understanding that even partial global disarmament could save lives

A) People in poor nations could get the share of the saved money, and spend it to recover from famine, draught, civil war, corruption etc
B) Wars are less likely to happen with national being disarmed
C) Global Disarmament would encourage worldwide peace

3) Prohibits nations to go past a certain limit of being armed.

4) Encourages nations to develop relationships with other nations.

5) Therefore, establishes a safer world for people to live in.

6)Nations are strongly encouraged to disarm 50% of their weaponry and strictly avoid the use of war.

Thank you very much.

I would never vote for anything like this.

1. What if a non-WA nation wants to fight a WA nation?

2. What about the nation's that believe "Safety though military"?

3. Have you ever heard of a nation cutting 50% of their military budget?