World Cup 54: RP thread

[Loonaterian]

FSSO squad travels to Cassadaigua

With the zonal qualifiers for the World Cup approaching, the FSSO landed at Cassadaigua's main airport to be greeted by a small group of raving fans and journalists. Several fans were ejected from the airport due to their boistorous nature, but the event was otherwise unmarred as the FSSO became the latest of the nearly 200 teams in the world cup to arrive. We asked the manager what his thoughts were at this time. "Well, we are a low ranking side and this is our first World Cup so we hope to make an impact but our hopes are not too high," He cheerfully told our reporter, "But of course we'll try our hardest and hopefully we can progress further than we are expected too." Our reporter asked what the news was on world class FSSO striker Lee Sharp. "Well Lee phoned me this morning to tell me he has overcome his cold, so he should be able to train with us this evening. Of course it remains to be seen whether he will be well enough for our first match, but I am sure he will be there.

Likely FSSO team for the first match:

Starting 11

1 - Daniel Belgrave
2 – Dennis Arnold
5 – Mike Humphrey
4 – Grant Davis
3 – Joe Arnie Pizza
7 – James Mcroft
6 – Steven Thompson ©
8 – Carlos Aduna
11 – Josh Stevenson
10 – Lee Sharp
9 – Sam Needle

Substitutes

27 – Jerry Watchman
22 – Ben Kean
13 – Julesk Paranaya
12 – Persa Ryans
15 – John Pallister
14 – Scott Daley
20 – Ben Quinn

(Image)

This should be in the roster thread.

[Socialist States Owen]

FSSO squad travels to Cassadaigua

With the zonal qualifiers for the World Cup approaching, the FSSO landed at Cassadaigua's main airport to be greeted by a small group of raving fans and journalists. Several fans were ejected from the airport due to their boistorous nature, but the event was otherwise unmarred as the FSSO became the latest of the nearly 200 teams in the world cup to arrive. We asked the manager what his thoughts were at this time. "Well, we are a low ranking side and this is our first World Cup so we hope to make an impact but our hopes are not too high," He cheerfully told our reporter, "But of course we'll try our hardest and hopefully we can progress further than we are expected too." Our reporter asked what the news was on world class FSSO striker Lee Sharp. "Well Lee phoned me this morning to tell me he has overcome his cold, so he should be able to train with us this evening. Of course it remains to be seen whether he will be well enough for our first match, but I am sure he will be there.

Likely FSSO team for the first match:

Starting 11

1 - Daniel Belgrave
2 – Dennis Arnold
5 – Mike Humphrey
4 – Grant Davis
3 – Joe Arnie Pizza
7 – James Mcroft
6 – Steven Thompson ©
8 – Carlos Aduna
11 – Josh Stevenson
10 – Lee Sharp
9 – Sam Needle

Substitutes

27 – Jerry Watchman
22 – Ben Kean
13 – Julesk Paranaya
12 – Persa Ryans
15 – John Pallister
14 – Scott Daley
20 – Ben Quinn

(Image)

This should be in the roster thread.

OOC: I already have a roster in the roster thread. That post was a news report.

[Loonaterian]

This should be in the roster thread.

OOC: I already have a roster in the roster thread. That post was a news report.

Ignore me. I got confused.

[Bostopia]

LANDSBERG CHARITY VASE – POSSIBLE RETURN

Shocker as Bostopian FA look to begin talks with foreign FAs

Do you remember the Landsberg Charity Vase? The friendly competition set up by the BFA between Bostopia, Septentrionia and Sorthern Northland which went on to include Nethertopia, Somewhereistonia, Yafor 2 and Kose & The Turkomans? Well, there's increasing talk in Heartwick House of it re-emerging.

However, questions remain about the sponsors, which teams would enter, how the tournament would look – a knockout based system or the traditional league style? Would Landsberg – the most popular lager in Bostopia – still be willing to pay for the use of stadia for the tournament including the ticket sales which the FAs would miss out on, let alone the prize money payable to the teams involved?

Talk however is positive in Sorthern Northland, who appear to be the keenest foreign FA to get the tournament up and running again. However, it also seems that Septentrionia isn't so keen – the BFA will surely be quick to ally any fears they have in talks they hope to schedule for later this month.

[The Babbage Islands]

Official Host Announcement

Each of the 10 Interzonal Phase hosts is authorised and encouraged to make a single post in the World Cup 54 HQ thread about their hosting of an interzonal. This can include stadium assignments, travel guides, whatever might enhance the RP. Edit freely for updates and refinements; creativity is encouraged. These information posts will then be linked from the interzonal schedule.

[Jeru FC]

Jeruselem's Amy Pond with the Jeru FC World Cup team

Mango: Hey, we have a time traveller with us!
Amy: Guys, Amy Pond is a fictional character.
Mango: You're not fictional.
Amy: I'm not a time traveller.
Mango: Still, we still like you.
Amy: I'm just a normal person.
Mango: Us too, we're just average joes.
Amy: Joes or jokes?
Mango: So why are you here?
Amy: Princess Helena wanted to me to personally deliver this message.
Mango: Why not use the mail system?
Amy: Apparently things get lost when the mail hits the army mail system.
Mango: Oh yes, they employ useless people in the mail room.
Amy: Like yourself?
Mango: Nah, Willy Wonky worked in the mail room.
Amy: Really ...
Mango: Don't you worry, Jeru FC will do their best for their princess.
Amy: Which one?
Mango: We love all of them.
Amy: I'm sure you'd love to make move to some of them.
Mango: It's all part of the service we provided here.
Amy: Go service someone else.
Mango: Hey, but it's all free.
Amy: I'm not here for free children. Anyway, I have to go. Can't spend too much time here.
Mango: You're always welcome back.
Amy: I'm sure I am
Mango: Every girl is Princess here.

[Mangolana]

Mangolana Times
Special Edition

Mangolana started the World cup 54 season with a 1-0 friendly loss to Pretty Awesome Persons. The game started slow with nothing really much going on in the first 45 min. But at the start of the second half at 48:23, The ref called a penalty in the box against Left Back John Davenport when he supposedly pulled down Pretty Awsome Persons Striker Fransisco Gonzalez, even though no card was given, the penalty kick was still awarded and Gonzalez smashed it in for a controversial goal. Later when the replays were shown, You could clearly see that Gonzalez slipped on the wet grass. But then at 65:53 Mangolana striker Franklim Ordonez was clearly ripped down by his hair from behind, in the box, and the donkey (ref), turned his back and did not call a thing. Mangolana was furios over this blatent no call by the ref. And then to top it all of, at 79:21 Franklim Ordonez Broke thru the defense and put one in the top corner of the net but was called back for offsides, after mangolana had started there celebration, not as soon as he broke thru like it should be but, after he scored and Mangolana had started celebrating. After this point you could tell that the team had sort of just given up, not mustering an attack for the rest of the game.

In this writers opinion, that ref should be barred from ever refereeing ever again, in a statement made after the game, Manager Bobby Washington stated "I never critisise a referee, I know that referee's are people and they make mistakes, just like the rest of us. But this officiating group we had today is really pushing my limits, i won't say any more than that but I think you can catch my drift". I for one agree with Bobby and say that this was probably the worst officiated game I have seen in a long time, if not ever, but it is just a friendly, and only a friendly, but I'm sure this is not the way Mangolana Wanted to go into World Cup 54 Qualifing.

[Erathore]

Erathore National Sports Channel (ENSC) Broadcast: J1711-N550

"A good start for Erathore in this World Cup with a 2-1 loss at Eastfield Lodge. True it could have been even better if we had won but no one was expecting us to win. Now for the goals. 11 minutes in and Lodge striker Shabeen Ahmad III rips one into the goal. 44 minutes the other striker, Sameer Ahmad, puts another one in to give them a 2-1 advantage. 86 minutes and Alexio Del Nieran gets a beautiful through ball from Malvolio and gets the better of Aidan Jagger. Now in the 93rd minute, Nieran hits a beautiful lob ball and Malvolio strikes it with a powerful header into the goal. Unfortunately he was ruled offside and slow-mo has confirmed that call. Juvearno Lippi later said that he was proud of his team for doing well against a superior team. Erathore's next game is against Meguroko, yet another time these two teams have met."

[Aguazul]

La Verdad

Everything that could go wrong, except score, does

The fact that Aguazul won its friendly match against Moresnetujo by six unanswered goals might, on paper, be a cause for celebration, except that this is paper and we can safely say that the entire debacle was just that. One of Aguazul's more humiliating performances, in every aspect except the actual playing of the football, was thankfully finished just in time for the squad to return home and lose to Swartaz to open the Publishers Cup.

Because of the two friendly matches being scheduled so close to each other, Sortani had originally planned to give different players a chance to start different matches. "I'll be trying a lot of different combinations," he explained. "For these games, I was going to start mostly players with even numbers against those guys and mostly players with odd numbers against Swartaz. In retrospect I'd have been better off reviewing which was which before the anthems."

Even those were problematic. The hosts have two songs of equal status; an unidentified visitor from Aguazul, frustrated that we only have the one anthem to speak of, demanded that a stirring military march be played for an additional 1:55 after our anthem's conclusion. This happened to be the first 1:55 of play, by which time Sortani had finally convinced a somewhat peeved Jimeno Arellano that the new goalkeeper would get to start at some point and brought our starting lineup to a reasonable eleven. This did not include a reasonable distribution of outfield players, however, and throwing caution to the wind, a highly attacking lineup set forth. With the hosts still trying to tune out the noise, Gunsedal Cisneros scored to give us an early lead.

Moresnetujo's first home match should have been a time for fans to come together, but instead, the first inklings of discord began to take hold even in the first half when a few disgruntled home fans began arguing with others about (according to the report of a nearby Aguazul fan, who was perhaps a bit too inebriated to appreciate all the sociolinguistic issues under discussion) whether ending the country's name in "ujo" was an antiquated gesture needing some revisionism to shake it up. As the argument got more heated, someone's beverage fell out of the stands and onto the pitch, causing the nervous Mikelo Leno to lose control of the ball. Juan Esteban Oraglio came up with it and shot for goal.

Shortly before halftime, Sosimo Lissón tapped what should have been an easy save for Tondro Shildido out in front of the net. Instead, Shildido horribly bobbled it and allowed Aguazul to score again. Against any other team, perhaps this would have been something for Aguazul to simply enjoy. Instead, fans watching at home on their TVs were forced to tolerate the monstrosity that is Shildido's jersey on display.

Cisneros scored again to open the second half, this goal more controversial. Gajo Formo believed that Cisneros was offsides before receiving the pass from Oraglio. The furious veteran asked the linesman if he was asleep or something during the play; the linesman, abruptly blinking, spluttered off something about "That's it, they should use teams of eleven blimps with their own replay cameras built in!" before stammering that the goal had probably been legal or something.

Meanwhile, Aguazul's fans were growing increasingly boisterous with the increasing lead, and leveling (quite rightful) criticism against the commie hosts. Just as Rubén Saavedra was taking a shot, rowdy fans accidentally stepped in the wrong place or something, causing a power failure. When the lights came back on, some time later, the ball was found in the back of the net, and it was ruled a goal against Moresnetujo's decreasingly relevant protests.

Power, however, was not restored to the scoreboard, and thus it was difficult to publicize Aguazul's substitution of Sesmiro Marroquín on to create a slightly more defensive formation. Thus, the final goal of the day, scored by Gerardo Riquelme off a pass from Marroquín provoked its own controversy. By then, however, the hosts and officials alike were ready to get the game over with as soon as possible.

An exhausted Aguazul, fielding a rather odd squad indeed, duly capitulated to Swartaz, with Karl Jasin scoring and Markus Asbjörn setting up Benidikt Klum before Vincente Aspe could manage a meaningless equalizer (or maybe not so meaningless, depending on how tiebreakers work in that kind of a system.) "In retrospect," said Sortani, "perhaps entering this tournament also was...oh, who am I kidding, it could have been much more disastrous. Like, you know, that first game."

[Haginonia]

Haginonia Eager for Opening Game

The 23 man squad for World Cup 54 qualification is eager for the opening round of matches tomorrow. Coach Aloizs Sakars said, "all the players are eager to show their skills not just to Haginonian fans but to the world. We have prepared more thoroughly for this tournament than in the last two additions and I am sure it will show in the way we play."

Haginonias first match comes against Consortina. Haginonia is predicted to win the game comfortably but Aloizs Sakars is wary of his first round opposition, "we can't be complacent, on their day, any side in the world can beat any other. This will not be a walkover."

For the first time in their history Haginonia will move away from a 4-4-2 formation and into a more attacking and midfield dominating 3-5-2 formation. After lots of changes in the squad where only four midfield players have caps, a fifth midfielder will make his debut. This midfielder will be Kwadwo Agyemang-Badu who currently plays for Kalonistan Serie A club, Sao Hauto FC.

The starting formation will be:

[Consortina]

Minute-by-minute-report: Consortina – Novikov 2:1

Pre-Kickoff: Hello and Welcome to today’s Pre-Cup Friendly of Consortina vs. Novikov. Despite Consortina playing on their home turf, this match will see Novikov as the favorites, considering their superior match experience and more mature and cynical style of play. No guarantees though, as both coaches have jumbles about their team quite a bit. Jozef Gabčík changed the formation while Hartmut Wildgrimson replaced several players. Which intervention is going to work?
1. We are going to find out now. Consortina in blue and white kick off. Peace carries the ball over the left flank but she is doubled by Volkov and Kadlec before she can create a chance.
4. Novikov stand deep and lure Consortina forward, then suddenly lunge, trying to reclaim the ball and initiate a counterattack. Peace is stolen the ball by Lech Ctvrlanik but Nawashimaru intercepts the pass that the Novikov midfielder had aimed at Balász.
7. Toivonen and Zarkov set up a double pass on the right flank which would have allowed the former a clear shot at the goal if it hadn’t been tackled away by Polzin. Consortina claims foul play, referee Henderson is unimpressed.
9. The best chance so far. Corner from the left, it bends just over Zupan’s head to Ernhold Mühlbergen who for some reason has been assigned no marker. The Jotunheim striker heads it over.
12. Consortina needs to pay attention. Novikov poses a constant danger on the counterattack. Mühlbergen has the ball in a promising position but his hot is blocked. Chmela gets to the rebound first and sends a high cross to Lech Ctvrlanik. Nawashimaru and Beer de Shevin gang up on him and force him to try a reckless shot that goes high and wide.
15. THEY DIDN’T LEARN THEIR LESSON THOUGH! IT IS 0-1 NOW! It was predictable that the fresh team would become careless sooner or later but this is WAY too soon. Ravenburg loses the ball in the forward movement to a courageous tackle from Volkov. Then suddenly everything goes quick. Volkov sets up Balász who enters the penalty area and backheels the ball to Žarko Stojanovic Zupan. Eisenberg has no chance to save.
20. Consortina is visibly shocked now. Their play has become timid in light of the ever-threatening counterattacks from Novikov. Zarkov tries to find Mühlbergen from far out because he doesn’t dare entering the 1on1 against Chmela.
23. At least some improvement. Wildgrimson orders the wingbackers to move forward, lending support in the offense. On the left flank at least, it works already. Nawashimaru with a good pass through a gap in the defense. Ernhold Mühlbergen misses it only by a few centimeters.
27. Novikov is not contend to just sit back and hold the result, though. Brasič is stopped unfairly by Reich. The free kick, 25 metres out in a central position, is attempted by Zupan. The free kick is deflected by the wall and goes over the goal line harmlessly.
32. Consortina shows some effort but they just don’t get through. Reich and Ravenburg attempt a double pass combination that somehow ends with Volkov intercepting. At the other end of the pitch, Kadlec tries a shot from far out after having seen that Eisenberg left his goal far behind. The shot goes wider only narrowly,
34. Consortina is becoming stronger now. Gülyin sets up Zarkov with a high pass. The Helsingsand forward dashes into the penalty area and tries the shot himself but Polzin deflects it and it goes out. Maybe he could have waited for Toivonen to catch up.
37. He definitely should have waited. Because TORE TOIVONEN IS A MONSTER! 1-1 and what a goal. Toivonen was invisible for most of the game but the very second where Volkov loses his eye on him, he strikes. From more than 30 metres out, Toivonen appears to look for someone to pass to then suddenly unleashes a shot that bends dangerously towards the far corner. Havel Rybar is caught off-guard and reacts too late.
41. It’s getting intense now. Both teams have smelled blood and enter duels with more vigor than strictly necessary for a Friendly. Peace and Smolák rush into each other, knocking each other out.
45. Both of them can continue for the last few minutes. Novikov is on the offense again. Kadlec dupes Nawashimaru and is suddenly standing inside the penalty area. He tries to set up Balász but the pass is not weighted correctly and Beer de Shevin reaches it first.

Halftime: 1-1 is a fair result so far with both teams creating and missing some chances. Curiously neither team seems to behaving reservations about sending their first team or instructing the team to put effort in their game.

46. Kickoff for the second half. Consortina has brought two new players. Frodo Erdstetten replaces Ömer Gülyin which might have been a planned substitution from the very beginning, browsing through the new opportunities. The substitution of Krok for Reich is a small surprise, though. Reich certainly was the stronger holding midfielder today. Maybe to give the senior player some rest?
50. The changes don’t seem to have done Consortina a favor. Brasič attacks over the left wing and Erdstetten can stop him only with a foul tackling. Yellow card for him and a free kick for Novikov. Czech Ctvrlanik beats Goldstein to the header but he places the ball directly into Eisenberg’s hands.
53. Consortina try to take some more risks now. Zarkov sends Erdstetten on the inside-right channel. The Consortinean wingbacker rushes past Chmela and would have been through on goal if he hadn’t miscontrolled the ball.
57. Novikov goes back to the defense-counterattack plan. At least now Consortina finishes most of their attacks and wins some corners. Goldstein tries a header from 15 metres out but Rybar has no trouble catching it.
62. Consortina control the pace now. Krok, Ravenburg and Zarkov play keepball in the midfield for a while before suddenly sending Toivonen with a clean pass through the gap. Toivonen has only the keeper to beat but he takes too much time controlling the ball and Polzin can rush in to block the shot.
64. Just when you started wondering about Novikov they return. And in all fairness, this should have been a penalty for them. Kadlec beat Peace and Ravenburg on the left flank, then feints to send Ctvrlanik over the right side. His cross aims true at Balász head but the Novikov striker misses – which partly can be attributed to Beer de Shevin pulling his jersey and trying to nudge past him. Ther are a lot of referees who give penalties for less.
67. Novikov try to reclaim the game. Volkov tries a shot from the distance to see whether Eisenberg is proberly warmed up. The Nijfelheim keeper parries. From the rebound, Erdstetten tries to initiatie a quick counterattack but his shot flies over everyones heads to be easily collected by Rybar.
72. Both sides push for the full point now. Zarkov sends a wide cross into the area where Mühlbergen has managed to sneak away from his markers. The Jotunheim striker delivers a good header but Rybar shows good reflexes and deflects it over.
75. But this is bad form. Krok sends a weighted pass for Toivonen into the area. Failing to reach it before Chmela, Consortina’s player tries to dive for the penalty. Henderson is onto it and hands out a deserved yellow.
79. More strong play by Novikov. Gabčík’s team inch their way forward through the midfield bringing the ball close towards the goal and avoiding challenges. Finally Erdstetten manages to intercept a pass but this only creates a rebound that Brasič reaches first. The Novikov midfielder shoots from the edge of the area but it isn’t placed well enough to be a true challenge for Eisenberg.
82. GOAL! THIS IS THE 2-1! In a cruel twist of irony, Consortina successfully counterattacked their opponents instead of vice versa. Lech Ctvrlanik loses the ball to Nawashimaru who just runs forward with the ball. He actually manages to run unopposed for 60 metres before Kadlec and Smolák try to double. Nawashimaru sets up a cute double pass with Ravenburg and suddenly has the 1on1 against Rybar. He lops it over the keeper and suddenly Consortina looks all set for a surprise win.
85. Novikov doesn’t seem to be up for this scenario, though. The team shows their concentrated efforts now. Polzin and Smolák start orienting themselves farther forward so their strength as headers can be taken into account. Zupan’s cross from the left side almost would have found Smolák but it instead it hits Lech Ctvrlanik who is in a bad position to shoot and has to attempt a bicycle kick. It certainly looked nice but it was deemed dangerous play nonetheless.
89. The last few minutes will be tense. Almost all players in the Consortinean half, most of them lingering outside penalty area. The Novikov midfielders keep the ball among themselves before trying a pass to Ctvrlanik. The back row sets the offside trap and actually catches Ctvrlanik… although video feed doesn’t back referee Henderson with his offside decision.
90(+1). Consortina misses their chance to clinch the game right now. Peace, Toivonen and Mühlbergen carry out a counterattack all on their own. Outnumbered by their opponents, Toivonen tries a finish from 25 metres out which is blocked by Smolák. The ball drops to the feet of Mühlbergen who just has to hit the empty goal (Rybar is already lying prone in one corner). His shot is well-placed but too slow and Rybar has enough time to get up and reach the ball.

Full Time: Consortina win their pre-qualification friendly with 2-1. Novikov players are still debating with referee assistant Cooper because the full time whistle came during one of their attacks. This may be unfortunate for them but has no bearing on our assessment of Consortina’s chances in the World Cup. Despite all shortcomings our team might have, they have shown that dedication and persistence are qualities that they possesss. But will these alone suffice to leave behind four out of five nations?

[Newmanistan]

(OOC: It’s going to be very important for the hosts (and anyone else who’s gonna read my RP’s) to be aware of what transpired in the Di Bradini Cup as this is a continuation of that storyline. To spare you the time of reading it, it general goes like this: Junior and Baseball legend Stacey Keisler had a child together, Courtney, who is now a teenager. Courtney was the product of a “one night stand”, and to avoid being in all the tabloids in Newmanistan, Keisler and Junior agreed that Stacey would never tell Courtney or anyone that Junior was the father. Stacey would simply tell Courtney she had no idea who the father was. Stacey, seen by many as the greatest pitcher ever, has ingrained pitching in the mind of her daughter ever since she could throw, and Courtney has indeed developed into a good pitcher and figures to be part of the World Baseball Classic 18 team. However, during the Di Bradini Cup, Stacey’s plans have become sidetracked as Courtney began dating a player on the Di Bradini team. With that relationship, Courtney has discovered that she has incredible talent for playing football as well with some people telling her she’s better then even her boyfriend on the Di Bradini team. Junior is seeing this and is beginning to want to tell Courtney the truth and get back into her life.)


Jeremy McAllister, Jr found it difficult to watch the friendly against The Babbage Islands. Given the ranks of both teams, the Rockets 3-2 defeat at the hands of the Bumblebees should be looked at with some bit of encouragement. After all, Newmanistan has been away and The Babbage Islands has flirted with winning a World Cup in our absence. Furthermore, the Rockets desparately need to at least make the interzonals during this qualifying period while The Babbage Islands can have more of a relaxed feel right now as they, of course, qualify automatically as one of the co-hosts. “This is such bullshit,” he grumbled, “We were doing just fine in this and the fuckin’ Emperor pulls us out, and won’t even allow me to associate myself with the new team. Is this the way you respect the past, (Emperor) Michael?” He picked up the phone and called his father, now, (*gasp*) in his 70's?!

“Dad, are you watching this crap?” He asked.

“The football game? No. I just don’t care about it.”

“I don’t either, but I can’t just not watch. There’s part of me that wants to watch.”

“How are they doing?”

“2-1 Bumblebees, early second half. Some of these new guys got the talent but what they need is a McAllister.”

“Well, Jeremy, you never had a child. Ryan did but they are still living in Cafundeu. He loves it there, it is a nice place you know as long as you can afford the lifestyle.”

Junior pauses. “There’s still time.” (Pauses again)

“Didn’t you like a girl from Babbage once? Whatever happened to her?”

“Tegan is a very nice person, but we’ve gone are separate ways. We’ll still talk, but it was never going to work from a relationship standpoint.”

(The conversation continues for a few more minutes and they eventually hang up. He hated people saying he never had a child, because he did, and she was becoming quite the young lady. Feeling down, he calls Stacey Keisler.)

“Hello, Stacey, it’s Jeremy.”

“Hello Jeremy, how are you.”

“I’m just, you know, watching the game, and it got me thinking, you know, about what might have been.”

“I knew the start of qualifying would get you sentimental again. But we have done this for a reason, and you know it is for the best.”

“How’s Courtney’s football going?”

“Her preparation for starting for the Rockets in World Baseball Classic 18 is going very well, but she might have to come out of the bullpen first. Maybe they pull Castelli but Christina (coach Christina Sanders) is still all giddy about having won the last Classic in the manner that they did.”

“Yeah, that’s wonderful. But her football? How’s that going?!”

“She set the Southport regional girl’s goal scoring record in a season. As an 8th grader. But her pitching is really wonderful, her curveball makes me so proud.”

“That’s so cool.”

“I know, the 12-6 arc on the curve is nasty!”

“I guess that’s cool too. It’s not baseball season right now though so how about you take her to a qualifying game. Like maybe against Queer Poco el Mono Ara?”

“And watch the Pocoans squash them? C’mon even I realize the team is gonna suck.”

“Hey are you watching this? It’s 2-2 against The Babbage Islands. Great goal by Huckabee there. They are doing anything but sucking right now.”

“I have the game on, but it’s just a friendly. It means nothing for Babbage, and the Rockets want to prove themselves. So it’s not as impressive as you’d think. These probably aren’t even their regular starters.”

“In World Cup 40 we almost qualified in our first attempt. Lost out on the away goals rule. My dad played hard then and they almost defied all odds. I think this team can too. They are playing well, just like my father’s team did, with heart and character. Just one qualifying game. She likes football, and probably loves it and I know you don’t hate it the way you try to act like you do in public. She might enjoy going to Queer Poco el Mono Ara.”

“If I’m gonna take her on the road, it’s not gonna be there. They will be crushed there. Maybe to Hemas. Or how about Hossaim?”

“Hossaim? Why? Let’s go to Queer Poco el Mono Ara.”

“Jeremy, how easy you forget. In the Keisler Cup, the game where, as an 11 year old, young Courtney tossed a 10-inning shutout in her international debut, it was against Hossaim. Remember?”

“You’re just so quick with those baseball tidbits. But yeah, I guess. I suppose we could go there. That game comes up soon, though. It’s actually the first game for the Rockets after the opening day bye.”

“Yeah, well, we can get it out of her system and focused back on baseball. And there, 3-2 Babbage.”

“Fuck! Well, there’s still eight minutes left. I can’t wait to see her again.”

“Alright well, we’ll work out the specifics in a bit. I gotta go. They’re not gonna come back, either.”

“You never know. Talk to you later.”

(At the Keisler’s house, Courtney overheard part of the conversation)

“You wanna go to Hossaim?!?! Really I can’t wait! I want to watch all the qualifying games!”

“Well, I think going to Hossaim would be good since you embarrassed them in the Keisler Cup.”

“We lost the game.”

“1-0 in 12 innings. It wasn’t your fault. You did your job.”

“Yeah but we lost the game. Stop acting like I was some hero in it.”

“You did your part. But you did very good in your last football season, and I know you like the sport, so we can go to a few. Not all, though. As long as you remember what sport you are destined to play.”

“Yeah, yeah...”

[Qazox]

OVERVIEW of Qazox Interzonal Hosting sites:

Qazian Memorial Stadium II,Qazox City. Capacity: 100,052.

Built in 1955, just after World Cup 46; the 2nd Qazian Memorial Stadium is located in downtown Qazox City, along the Dain River. Having a Capacity of just over 100 thousand, Qazian Memorial is usually reserved for Qazox' biggest World Cup qualifying matches. Despite being 32 years old, the stadium is state-of-the art and features wi-fi throughout the stadium and over 70 concession stands located behind each section of the stadium.

Estadia Pika II, Pika City. Capacity: 84,562.

The 2nd of 2 ShinyPlaces Stadium Architecture built stadiums, the other being Qazian Memorial Stadium II. Estadia Pika, built in 1957, is located in the northern part of Pika City, Qazox' most ethnically Asian city. While in Pika City, many tourists visit the Qazian Heritage museum located on te east side of the city along the banks of the Paehon River. The stadium features a 4-tiered deck behind each goal and a view of the University of Qazox-Pika City Hospital complex on the north side.

Ganja Vodka Stadium, Fromburg. Capacity: 94,500.

Ganja Vodka Stadium was the 1st privately built football stadium in Qazox, completed in 1957. While the picture doesn't show it, the stadium has over 40,000 seats located in the north end built into a hill overlooking the stadium. While in Fromburg, visit the Ganja Vodka Museum and Distillery located just 2 blocks south of the stadium. After a tour of the Distillery, priced at a very low Z40 ($20) per person (Z14, ($7) for underage visitors), Visitors of the proper drinking age will receive a free 350mL sample of Ganja Vodka, distilled from the Cannabis Sativa plant.

Rockport Stadium, Rockport. Capacity: 90,000.

Qazox' only publicly owned stadium, Rockport Stadium is located just minutes away from the Qazoxian South Coast, which feature the best beaches in Qazox. Rockport is home to Qazox' biggest port and amusemdnt park, Disneyland Rockport. The stadium, finished in 1957, has views of the beaches due to a glass wall behind the south side of the stadium. The Stadium also features a 4.4 million gallon aquarium with various local fish species.

SaxerDome (II), SaxerVilla. Capacity: 91,150.

Built in 1962 to replace Qazox' only domed stadium, SaxerDome II is the first retractable dome stadium built in Qazox. Located in downtown SaxerVilla, the stadium is minutes away from Historical Saxer Village, the site of the 1st permanent English settlement in Qazox. Located just 3 blocks north of the stadium is the SaxerVilla Zoological Gardens, the largest zoo in Qazox and has over 45 different habitats ranging from the Artic Adventure to the Deadly Desert to the Cuddly Conifer Forest.

New Bruxen Hotel & Casino Field, New Bruxen. Capacity: 77,721.

Qazox' newest stadium, located right across the street from the New Bruxen Hotel and Casino complex; the smallest of Qazox' stadiums is the most techonlogically advanced stadium built in Qazox. A 125 foot screen in the south end of the stadium is in both HD and Real3D. For a modest Z50 ($25) fee, visitors to the stadium can rent for the game personal 13" LCD TV's or purchase them for Z220 ($110) enabled with wireless internet access. The stadium has 5G coverage and 50 lucky fans per game will receive a complementary 2-night suite at New Bruxen Hotel and Casino.

[The Babbage Islands]

This is your RP cutoff for the delayed first round of the Mike Sarzo Memorial Trophy . . .

AND for Matchday 1, World Cup 54 Zonal Phase, Zones 16-30.

MSMT scores
Matchday One

[Meguroko]

MEGUROKO WORLD CUP 54 COVERAGE

Meguroko 1-0 Antoletia

Meguroko started the tournament with a big bang. In Antoletia, many Megurokans made the trip to watch their team. They cheered loud and proud for their team. On to the game, The game started in Meguroko's favour. But, at 49 minutes, Voko Pak, who recently signed with a team in Erathore, struck mesh. The Megurokan fans were ecstatic. Don Dovo had to be amazing in net after the goal, as Antoletia pressed very hard. Winston Hilko played a great game too, and so did Charles Drabo, but the player of the game was Voko Pak. We play Antoletia again on Day 10 of the qualifier for the 54th World Cup. Tune in to all games on MBC, MSN for all Meguroko's games.

[Tynelia]

“Hello everyone and welcome to ‘Scoreology Today’ where Tynelia just pulled off a stunner against the top team in the world Valanora in the just concluded match at the Danbridge Arena here in Tyr. No the ferrets didn’t win but did manage to hold on for a 1-1 draw against the top team in the world. I’m Mal Waltman along with Sally Long. What a way to start Sally.”

“Yes it was Mal, as most if not all pundits around the world including ourselves expected a Valanoran sweep through the group, Tynelia managed to defend their home field well enough to what I have to say is steal a point from the #1 team in the world.”

“Very true Sally, while it might have been even better- and in the opinion of some might have clinched an spot in the top two- had Tynelia held onto their first half minute 29 goal by Mia Watson off a defelected Eric Daniels shot, the three points for the win would have certainly had us sitting well in the group. Instead Valanora showed why they are the #1 team in the world evening things at 1 in minute 77 against a somehwta controversial defensive look by the Ferrets.”

“I don’t know about that Mal, this is the top team in the world we’re talking about here. I think Coach Malloy did the smart thing by trying to hold onto the 1-0 lead instead of risking disaster by trying to keep up the attack and risk giving up an easy goal going the other way. Had Valanora tied the score earlier then they had, they might have gained the momentum to pull out the win. As it stood, the defensive style in the second half kept them off the board until there was less than 15 minutes left in the game including extra time. Given how hard they were pressing us after the goal to try and get the game winner I think if they had more time they might have done so.”

“That is a good point but Coach Malloy’s critics I don’t think will see it the same way.”

“That’s why they’re called critics Mal.”

“You’re right about that Sally, and more good news is that only Les Jeremies managed to put a win on the board among the other teams in the group so we don’t have a lot of teams to climb over to move on to the next stage. Now our next two matches will take us on the road to face unranked Dingbu and then Les Jeremies themselves who are ranked 319 in the world. And with a match against People who like Lasers before us it’s very possible that Les Jeremies are looking at the maximum 6 points when we take them on. But anything short of wins versus both these teams will be seen as a lost opportunity since I’m certain Valanora won’t slip up again.”

“But I think Tynelia can do this Mal, both teams are in their first Cup and we’ve been a steadily improving squad and have managed to beat and draw higher ranked squads even as far back as our initial return to international play.”

“And that’s something the team needs to keep in mind going into these matchups. If we could do it there’s no reason to think they can’t surprise a 48th ranked team themselves.”

“Good point Mal.”

“But win,lose or draw ‘Scoreology Today’ will be here afterwards with the post game program. Until then good night everyone.”

[Cassadaigua]

And now, Zones 1-15 get their first RP cutoff as well.

Results

[Burchadinger]

ALEXANDER ZRUW'S BLOG
Burchadinger vs Aldoraan

For World Cup 54, I've decided to do my part and do my best to go watch the games at the Olympiastadion in person. I managed to get tickets for the game against Aldoraan, though only just. I'll be sure to book in advance next time. Being at the Olympiastadion provided me with a unique perspective which television simply can't offer. There is nothing quite like hearing the cheers of the fans of both sides in person, seeing the flags and banners flying, and seeing the heroes themselves below you. From my east wing grandstand vantage point, you can really get an appreciation of how a player is reacting to his surroundings, and thinking of what to do next. Don't waste your hard earned Reichsmarks on some stupid HD television, get your lazy arse where the action is really happening.

I happened to be at the stadium during the warm-up session. I had decided to get to the stadium as early as possible to avoid the crazy traffic, but despite the thought I was early, I was still caught up in a reasonably long queue. Anyway, when I did arrive, my immediate impression was that the Burchadingan side were training as hard as ever, despite our opponent being the relatively unknown nation Aldoraan. I managed to get some good shots, though these were nothing in comparison to what I managed to get later on. I sat that for around 15 minutes before the herd of fans began pouring through the doors. The real noise began, and I was beginning to feel rather out of place in my collared shirt. What the hell was I thinking?

Deval Enke didn't make any changes to his regular squad, despite the rumour that Elias Becker would be replaced by Daniel Felkan. Becker certainly thanked his boss in the best possible way, with one of his most convincing performances in a long time. Oh, you're asking me about the Aldoraan side? Well, once again, Die Adler faced a side of nude men (and women) wearing paper bags on their heads (apparently they were going to use plastic, but you know our laws). Expect this for the rest of our qualification campaign.

Anyway, to the game. It was a one-sided affair that the final score doesn’t clearly show. Die Adler thoroughly dominated Aldoraan. The first half wasn't as lopsided as the second, and Aldoraan still managed to register 3 shots on target, and 2 shots off target. Elias Becker shone on several occasions, with quite a few good tackles, and he managed to avoid that careless mistake of his; the powerful nudge. Our newly crowned monarch, King Rudolf I was in attendance, something he had done during his tenure as Crown Prince. He enjoys his football, and was casually dressed in his jersey and cargo pants, although I wasn't able to get a good picture of him. Head of state indeed. Markus Klogh nearly scored before the first minute was over, from the middle of the pitch. It was an opportunistic shot, but it nearly went in, with the ball denied only by the crossbar. The crowd admired his attempt, although had he done this against any other opponent, say, Albundania, he'd probably have been ridiculed as a 'total idiot'.

The awful event that occurred during the 8th minute, however, is probably the highlight of the game, as awful as it was. Bernd Hansen, pursuing player number 6, had caught up, and was preparing for a tackle when the Aldoraan player just ground to a halt. Just like that. What could Bernd do? He just slammed into him at top speed, like a bus running into your average guy. The Aldoraan player flew into the air, and did a full somersault, before landing right on his face. Hansen began bleeding, while the Aldoraan player suffered worse, with a broken spine and a broken nose, although I'm pretty surprised it was that severe. I was quick to get a shot of the somersaulting player, and you can see that, along with many other photos from the game, on my other blog post. You have to have some sympathy for the fellow, but what was he thinking, just stopping in the middle of the pitch like that? Both players were substituted, with Lukas Reynard, the 19 year old star of VFB Leipzig, being given his international debut.

The referee from Kelssek was left with a dilemma. Give the free kick to Aldoraan or Burchadinger? In my opinion, as much as it was the Aldoraan player's fault, it was Bernd who ran into his back, so I support the ref's decision to award the kick to the away side with full heart. As far as I know, the Aldoraan team were pretty shell shocked, because practically none of the players moved. The player who took the free kick took his sweet time before moving his legs, and his 'kick' was pretty pathetic. Straight into the feet of Hans-Mayer Hansen (who's eyes would suggest he wanted 'revenge') who sprinted a quarter field distance, before crossing to none other than Klogh, who converted it into a goal. 1-0 Burchadinger, and the crowd erupted.

And that was only the 10th minute. Much more was to come, in terms of Burchadingan players passing the ball to each other. Die Adler spent the rest of the first half practising their tactics, with a few of them experimenting with different methods of kicking, and Fischer and Schmidt doing a 'scissors' move similar to what a fighter ace would be doing to dodge his enemy. They succeeded in clearing the midfielders, but player number 2 halted their attack. The Aldoraan counter attack nearly caught Die Adler of guard, which, to put it lightly, was pretty embarrassing. But it seemed as though Fischer and his men were confident that they knew what they were doing. It was like the 'Kartin Doctrine' from that awesome movie 'Cosmic Wars', control through fear (hey wasn't the planet named Aldoraan?). Although in this case, the fear (or intimidation if you like) was scoring a goal. The move was swift. Diefenbaker, Becker, Hansen, Schmidt, Fischer, Hansen, Sigmundson, Klogh, goal, and the Aldoraan players were further demoralized. The first half ended without too much happening.

The second half began with a bang. Literally. A few people decided that it would be a good idea to bring some fireworks to the stadium, and light them up. It wouldn't have caused any pain or immediate danger of any sort, but it would have certainly been annoying to the players. The police were quick to confiscate the 'toys'. I have a good picture of that too. Aldoraan seemed to be a bit boosted, perhaps thanks to a good talk by their manager. Well, we were quick to send any thought of return in the game with a third goal, this time by our good rookie, Lukas Reynard, who headed in a corner by Hansen in the 48th minute. And well, in terms of any 'real' footballing action, nothing happened. There was plenty of 'entertainment', with the four defenders doing a rather groovy dance, which some of the fans decided to imitate. What did the Aldoraan players do all this time? Absolutely nothing. So the 11 Die Adler players had some good fun for 10 minutes, before Deval Enke (who was in the toilet) came back out and blasted his men for not doing their job (he would later say that in hindsight, he would have allowed them to continue). So that's really all I have to comment about Burchadinger vs Aldoraan.

Our next match, however, will certainly be no laughing matter. Albundania are definitely our biggest opponents, and we will be travelling to their nation for this match. The pundits say that a loss is inevitable, but a draw would be good enough to moralize the squad and the nation as a whole. Right now, the two of us share the lead of Zone 17 (yeah, not group), and I'm assuming we're classified as number 1 because we won at home. Anyway, that game will be a true test of the squad's skills, so I think tomorrow will be a good indication whether we can do it or not. As for me, I'm afraid I wont be able to go to Albundania, because I'm not rich enough (I wish they had a bloggers discount). And now I'll recap what happened in Zone 17. Soviet Massacre were massacred by Albundania at home and Calmerica held Unibot to a 2-2 draw.

So don't forget to tune in to either TV1, Sports World or The World Cup Channel CH901 to see Albundania vs Burchadinger live at 10:30 PM, and to see it in HD, tune in to Sports World X or TWCC CH951. Also remember to check out my photos of the Burchadinger vs Aldoraan game!

[Octinstine]

The Daily Octinstine Sport - Comfortable Victory For Octinstine
Yesterday the Octinstine national team kicked off there Qualification for the World Cup. The teams first match was against fellow international newcomers Los Estados del Sol. The national team managed to wrap up all 3 points in a largely boring match in which neither team really threatened the opposite goal keeper. Both goals came from set pieces the first was a quite brilliant 30 yard free-kick in to the top right corner from Andy Walker, who at 34 has had some people questioning his inclusion in the team. But once again he proved that while form might be temporary class is permanent.

The white panthers second came from a Terry Adams header from a corner. Adams showed his power and experience to beat the opposition centre back at the far post for a simple tap in. Apart from that the were few clear cut chances for both teams Justo Aguero was nearest for Los Estados del Sol with an edge of the box curling shot that forced a smart save out of Markson. All in all it was a comfortable performance if not a spectacular one with both teams looking even.

[Consortina]

(edit: Sorry Haginonia. Didn't see your post with the squad when creating the MBMR. If I find the time I can add names of your players but I won't get to it for the next few hours. Just go ahead and fill in the blanks when you want to base your report off of mine.)


Minute-by-minute-report: Consortina – Haginonia

Pre-Kickoff: Greetings and Welcome to today’s first Cup game of the new Consortinean soccer federation. Our team squares off against Haginonia. Bookmakers and experts saw Haginonia as a clear favorite – until the last round of friendlies that is. Consortina’s spirited performance against Novikov has led to more optimistic prognoses with some commentators like Armine Hernandez-Pazio even giving them equal chances. Unfortunately, we can only give you Consortina’s side of the picture today as we have not received permission to use the names of the Haginonian players until after they have appeared in one of their reports. We are still trying to find a way around this regulation but a few of our MBM reports are going to look funny, I am afraid.

1. Well it can’t be helped. On with the show: Hagonia in the red jerseys kicks off and leads the first attack. Ravenburg with a rough tackle begins right away gauging the goodwill of referee Chevalier du Pons.
3. First dangerous situation for Consortina. Over the right wing, Haginonia attacks. Nawashimaru doesn’t look good as he is overrun by his opponent. The cross into the area is barely reached by Goldstein. In his back, two strikers were waiting.
8. After the initial shock, Consortina has managed to get a good grasp on the game. Reich and Ravenburg keep the center closed and on the wings, Zarkov and Peace lend support. Still we are waiting for a Consortinean chance to appear. Speculative shot from 35 meters by Zarkov with expected result.
11. This looked promising, though. Ravenburg tries to send Peace but a defender blocks the pass. Unfortunately for him it just returns to Ravenburg who suddenly has nobody opposing him. He takes two steps and tries a shot from 25 meters. It goes high and wide but not by much.
14. Haginonia’s turn to try something speculative. One striker tries to push through between Goldstein and Beer de Shevin but the two are careful enough to strip him of the ball cleanly.
18. Both teams try not to overcommit which leads often to a lone striker being intercepted by way too many defenders. This time, Mühlbergern fails to keep the ball long enough for another player to lose their marker.
23. Bad error by Toivonen who made a no-look-pass into the blue. Suddenly Consortina’s right wing is open with the Haginonian strikers creating a 3on3. A precise pass sets a striker clean through but Gülyin catches up at the last second to make a strong tackle from behind.
27. Once again the game stalls in midfield. Toivonen tries to push past three defenders at once but he loses the ball in the process. Reich intercepts the counterattack with a tactical foul and gets a last warning from Chevalier.
32. Powerplay by Haginonian who controls the ball and keeps it in their ranks for almost two full minutes now, constantly swarming around in the Consortinean half. Finally they set up the pass to send a striker through on goal but it is too high and wide and Eisenberg can run forward to pick it up first.
33. Immediate counter by Conosrtina. Zarkov carries the ball through the midfield then sends Reich up with a good weighted pass. Reich draws two defenders to him then brings the ball to Toivonen. The Heidesand striker tries his luck from just outside the area but the keeper bends the ball around the post.
39. More stalled play in the midfield. Ravenburg tries to break the deadlock with a high pass towards Peace but her headed pass doesn’t find Mühlbergen.
42. Haginonia try to make it better. A dangerous run over the right is intercepted unfairly by Nawashimaru. Free kick from about 20 metres to the left side of the goal. Haginonia tries it with a direct shot at the goal but Eisenberg stands well and reaches the ball easily.
45. Last chance for Consortina to create something before the whistle. Zarkov gets through on the right wing and bends the ball into the box but Mühlbergen doesn’t reach the ball.

Half-Time: Looks good so far. In a game with not many chances, Consortina hold their own. Only the offense looks improvable. Especially Toivonen hasn’t had success with his attempts so far.

46. Kickoff. Consortina keeps their formation. No changes so far, the attacks still look rather timid. Ravenburg loses the ball during a very optimistic dribbling against two opponents.
51. The Half-time speeches had no rousing effect so far. No convincing attacking attempts so far. Haginonia try their luck through the center but Ravenburg claims the ball with a clean tackle.
54. But this looked a bit more dangerous. Haginonia attacks over the right wing. Beer de Shevin and Nawashimaru don’t coordinate their runs and allow a gap. A striker is through on goal and attempt to lop the ball over Eisenberg. It hits the bar and goes over.
60. Wildgrimson sends a few players warming up from the bench. Maybe a substitution would set the right signal. Reich miscontrols a ball and allows his opponent to shoot from 25 meters. The ball is not placed well enough to make Eisenberg problems, though.
62. Chance for Consortina now. Zarkov tries to set up Peace with a long cross. The ball is cleared by the defense but Mühlbergen has paid attention and claimed the ball. He tries to line up a shot but he is interrupted and shoots far too high.
65. Consortina have regained control of the game so far. Nonetheless Wildgrimson substitutes Peace with Weyerhagen. This probably includes a change of system.
67. Or maybe not. Ravenburg moves behind the strikers, Toivonen takes the left wing, Weyerhagen and Reich plug the center. Weyerhagen immediately shows his presence by conquering possession.
70. Consortina looks more dangerous now. Toivonen with a strong run over the left wing and a high cross into the box. Mühlbergen gets to it but his header is brilliantly saved.
73. Still the left flank is a bit shaky. Toivonen leaves Nawashimaru alone with two attackers. The Nijfelheim defender commits the tactical foul and sees yellow. The resulting free kick is cleared by Goldstein.
75. But this is better: GOAL by Yngfrid Reich. Nawashimaru and Toivonen redeem themselves by leading the attack over the left wing. Toivonen is through and has all the time to pick a player to cross the ball to Mühlbergen and Ravenburg are marked but nobody has paid attention to Yngfrid Reich. The midfielder rushes in from behind and takes the ball volley.
79. Haginonia is shocked and needs time to recover. Time they don’t have, I might add. Zarkov sends Gülyin over the right but his cross is too high for Ravenburg.
83. The first chance since the 0-1 and Haginonia just wastes it. Reich loses the ball in the forward movement and Zarkov and Gülyin are badly placed to intercept the attack over the left. Two attackers are placed well but the Haginonian midfielder plays the ball to the one who stands clearly offside.
86. It looks good for Consortina now. Goldstein and Reich play the ball around a bit waiting for Haginonia to commit attackers before sending Zarkov over the right. Helsingsands wingman loses the ball against the double marking, though.
90. Now that would have been a freak goal. Another attack by Haginonia is stopped dead in its tracks when Weyerhagen and Beer de Shevin double mark an attacker and force him to make a bad pass. Nawashimaru intercepts and tries to send a high ball to the exposed Haginonian half. He horribly miscontrols the shot and sends the ball tumbling high into the box. Beer de Shevin is too surprised to react and suddenly there is a good chance. The strikers are just as surprised and fail to place the header out of Eisenbergs reach, though.

Full Time: Aaaaaand this is it. Consortina wins their first World Cup game against Haginonia. A match with many errors and inaccuracies is eventually decided when Consortina convert one of their few chances and their opponents don’t. This match – as well as the other games in Zone 4 reveal that almost everything is possible. Each team has their individual problems and miscommunications on the pitch. The zone might be decided by the team who gets their act together first.

Consortina – Haginonia 1:0
Goals: 1:0 Reich (75.)
Yellow Cards: Nawashimaru
Red Cards: -
Possession: 48%:52%
Passing: 68%:63%
Player of the Match: Ömer Gülyin

[Erathore]

Erathore National Sports Channel (ENSC) Broadcast: J1811-M1054

"A 2-0 cleansheet win for Erathore against Everdilsike in an official World Cup match. Brilliant gameplay from Erathore shone over a, quite bluntly, worse and quite poor team. The game started off with Erathore scoring in the first 6 minutes, when Malvolio ripped a shot into goal for the early advantage. Several missed opportunities and slow gameplay later, Alexio Del Nieran put the ball in from the 18. More to come later."

[Socialist States Owen]

Ben Randall looked at the table of the Socialist States of Owen/FSSO's group. The manager of the national team was smiling. "Hardly surprising results Dimitri, but at least Jimmy Wales and the Cotswalds didn't lose as badly as we thought they would. Gives us some hope, eh?"

"Yeah," replied Dimitri Campell, assistant manager. "By the way, Persa and Lee are both going to be at warmup this morning. Shall we get Persa on corners and Lee on penalties?"
"Go for it. Sam seems to be a bit off with penalties at the moment though, give him some practice with them as well."

Zone 12 Standings

   Team                      P W D L For Ag +/- Pts
 1 Eastfield Lodge           1 1 0 0  2  0  +2  3
 2 Akbarabad                 1 1 0 0  3  2  +1  3
 3 Socialist States Owen     0 0 0 0  0  0  +0  0
 4 Jimmy Wales               1 0 0 1  2  3  -1  0
 5 Greater Cotswalds         1 0 0 1  0  2  -2  0

Upcoming fixtures:

Greater Cotswalds - Socialist States Owen/FSSO

[The Archregimancy]

THE MONASTIC TIMES

MANGOLANA FRIENDLY REFEREE DEFENDED OVER 'DONKEY' CHARGES
Routine Victory Recorded Over Non-Entities

By Fr. Nicholas the Scribe

The Monastic Football Association today rushed to the defence of Fr. Isaac the Far-Sighted, referee for the friendly pre-World Cup qualification match between Mangolana and Pretty Awesome Persons, against charges that he was a 'donkey' who ignored foul after foul against the losers.

"The donkey, or ass, is a fine creature, that our Lord and Saviour did ride into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday" said a senior archimandrite, speaking on condition of anonymity. "Is it not written in John's Gospel that 'On the next day much people that were come to the feast, when they heard that Jesus was coming to Jerusalem, took branches of palm trees, and went forth to meet him, and cried, Hosanna: Blessed is the King of Israel that cometh in the name of the Lord. And Jesus, when he had found a young ass, sat thereon; as it is written, fear not, daughter of Sion: behold, thy King cometh, sitting on an ass's colt.' As such, Fr. Isaac rejoices in the comparison, which is no doubt designed to uphold his steadfast nature in the face of provocation by both sides"

A reporter from the God-forsaken nation of Dorian and Sonya insolently pointed out that perhaps the Mangolanan reference to Fr. Isaac was not intended in a wholly complementary manner, noting that the obscure and unimportant heathen newspaper The Mangolana Times had accused Fr. Isaac of giving a controversial penalty to the winners after a player 'slipped on the grass' while ignoring a perfectly valid penalty for the losers after one of their players had been pulled down by his hair. The soulless heathen female elven journalist was ignored, as one might expect, but the MFA later released WCC-endorsed video footage of the incident.

The first piece of footage - contrary to claims by the heathen Mangolanan media- clearly shows that the Pretty Awesome Persons forward Fransisco Gonzalez was brutally hacked down by defender John Davenport, who was surely lucky not to receive a red card for the incident.

The second piece of footage clearly shows that Mangolana forward Franklim Ordonez was not 'ripped down by his hair' but simply accidentally managed to get his long flowing locks inadvertently caught in an opponent's belt - a sure warning that Alice Bands can be functional, as well as ridiculous.

While Fr. Isaac conceded that the controversial offside call to disallow Mangolana an equaliser could have been better handled, he noted that it was not his fault that the WCC had assigned him with linesman who were Catholic seminarians who refused to talk to him unless he accepted the Augustinian definition of original sin. Fr. Isaac was pleased to announce that he stood firm for Orthodoxy.

The Monastic Football Association are insisting on an apology from the Mangolana national federation for their slur against Fr. Isaac prior to the qualifying match between the two nations.

Elsewhere, the Archregimancy recorded a routine 2-0 victory over the presumably non-Orthodox nonentities from Jacouba.

[Kulverint]

Kulverint begin World Cup with win!

The Kulverintian world cup qualifying campaign began yesterday with a narrow win over Moresnetujo. The game began with a stunningly awful start for Kulverint. An 8th minute goal for Moresnetujo was, thankfully not the end for the team. The half stayed relatively uneventful, however a shocking tackle by one of Moresnetujo's players left Bliuliana Jinniona lucky to stay on. The Kulverintian team began to really sense the opposition's desperation, and began bombarding the goal with shots. Eventually, after 3 minutes, a header from Xiniana Milverki silenced the capacity crowd. The 38th minute goal from a corner left the score at 1-1 going into half time.

Tommi Jakinen, who later revealed he'd "Told them to get a lead, and then get defensive," saw his words come to light. In the 57th minute, Janni Milverki scored in the top corner, and from then on the defence controlled the game. Jakinen took off Bliuvliana Hillunia and Cinniao Hyianiya, replacing the attacking midfielders with defender Stianni Verstappen, and defensive midfielder Sven Johannson. There were no real threats, though, and the game ended quietly. Kulverint had got what they came for, and were pleased about it, too.

---

Moresnetujo 1-2 Kulverint

[Bears Armed]

(from the ‘Sports’ section of ‘The Bear Necessities’…)

Here We Go, Here We Go… Again!

And so it begins again, as the Belles make yet another attempt not only to qualify for entry into the World Cup but — finally — to get past the ‘group stage’ of that tournament: Will it be eight-and-three’th time fortunate for our girls?

One significant difference this time around is that the route to the Cup has been changed, with the normal qualifying process replaced by a two-stage version. The teams will start off playing against each other in groups as usual, with a home game and an away game against each opponent, but those groups will be both smaller and more numerous than has become the norm at thirty (rather than the more usual fifteen) in number and with only five or six (rather than ten or even twelve) teams each: The top two teams from each group — or ‘Zone’, as the organisers are calling these divisions — will then progress on to the ‘Interzonal’ round, which will have the same format as its precursor except that all of the games will be played on ‘neutral’ ground with each of its ten groups hosted by a different nation, with the top three teams from each of these contests going through to join the two co-host’s teams in the actual World Cup itself… and one of those ‘Interzonal’ competitions will be taking place here in Bears Armed!

This change to more & smaller groups means that the top seeds are more widely spread, of course, with only one of the top fourEights’ of teams in each ‘Zonal’ group, and the Belles — now back up at number threeEights-and-two in the ratings — are (also “of course”…) the one in theirs. The group’s other members are:

Western Cuba @ eightSquared-and-four’th in the rankings;
Saugeais @ two-eightSquareds-and-two’th in the rankings;
Strapszor @ jointly five-eightSquareds-less-one (one of seven sides at that same level);
Keilriagorth @ jointly five-eightSquareds, eight-and-three’th in the rankings (one of eight-and-four sides at that same level!).

The first two of these could conceivably give the Belles trouble if they were at top form on the days of the games against them, and our girls weren’t, but the fact that neither of the latter pair are highly-ranked yet is because they’re both quite new to international competition rather than because they’ve been trying & failing so we’d probably do better not to underestimate them either…


Anyhows, it seems that Margaret might have been having some fun with the arrangements again, and that this time She has decided to favour us, because the Belles open their qualification campaign with their ‘home’ games against the more experienced two of those opponents. Their complete schedule for the ‘Zonal’ stage is:

(Friendlies, including other Cups)
MD1: Bears Armed v Saugeais (@ Wimbley)
MD2: Bears Armed v Western Cuba (@ Wimbley)
MD3: Strapszor v Bears Armed (Away)
MD4: Bears Armed v Keilragorth (@ Wimbley)
MD5: (bye)
(Friendlies, including other Cups)
MD6: Saugeais v Bears Armed (Away)
MD7: Western Cuba v Bears Armed (Away)
MD8: Bears Armed Strapszor (@ Wimbley)
MD8+1: Keilragorth v Bears Armed (Away)
MD8+2: (bye)
(Friendlies, including other Cups)

The ‘Interzonal’ contests for the winner and runner-up from this group will be in the nations of ‘ Kagdazka and Pazhajdou’and Qazox — the home of the football contest called the Oxen Cup in which the Belles have also competed on more than one occasion — respectively.

As for ‘friendlies’, the Belles are starting the series with three of these — as usual — but will then have four during each of the other three (rather than just two, as normal) ‘windows’ for these: The unfortunate disappearance of their oldest rivals Peisandros certainly hasn’t left our girls without potential opponents! In order to cope with this situation, Marra has named a rather larger squad than she has employed in any previous World Cup’s qualifiers…

('Zone' Group analysis, page ‘S-5’.)
(‘Friendly’ games schedule, page ‘S-6’.)
('Best of the Rest', page 'S-8')