World Cup 54: RP thread

[Qazox]

The Road to One Big Island and World Cup 54

EMBARASSING.

And that's putting it mildly. A 4-0 shitfest at Cafundeu that saw 2 Qazoxian players sent off with red cards early and now for the 3rd consecutive qualifying effort, Qazox has fallen behind. Goals from Danilinho and Romergleydson in the first half sent the sell-out home crowd into a frenzy as Cafundeu had a 2-nil lead before even 10 minutes had played. But regardless of the reasons why the Pheonix played poorly, starting a fight just 15 minutes into the match is not the best way to get back into the game.

Carl Maplewood took offense to a Silvano Assírio Romergleydson trip that was not seen by the referee and took a swing at the Cafundelese attacker. While cooler heads prevailed in pulling apart both players, Maplewood was shown a red card and Romergletyson made it 3-0 six minutes later with the 11-on-10 advantage. In the 29th minute, Sean Eason was shown a yellow for a high thigh tackle to Tico. Just minutes later, Eason was given a red card for a tackle on Godô that looked clean on replays. But the damage was done, as Qazox was now 2 players short. A 69th minute goa frm Tico ended the scoring, but not the cardage; as Tico and Lonnie Dobbs exchanged shoves after a foul on Tico during a rare Qazoxian push up the field. Both players were shown a yellow.

Qazox needs to have a very quick memory as they head home to face Daemonheart; who will be playing their first game. Coach Holtz will have Makala David and David Chesney start in place of Maplewood and Eason. It almost goes without saying, but Qazox needs to win this next match or else it will be likely another long 4 years.

SCORELINE

QZX  0 0  0
CAF  3 1  4

Scoring:
Danilinho (CAF)- 4'
Romergleydson (CAF)- 10'
RC- Carl Maplewood (QZX) 15'
Romergleydson (CAF)- 21'
YC- Sean Eason (QZX) 29'
RC- Sean Eason (QZX) 33'
Tico (CAF)- 69'
YC- Tico (CAF)- 85'
YC- Lonnie Dobbs (QZX) 85'

SCHEDULE:
MD1: @ Cafundeu L 0-4
MD2: v. Daemonheart @ Estadia Pika, Pika City. Capacity: 84,562
MD3: v. Sirain @ Ganja Vodka Stadium, Fromburg. Capacity: 94,500
MD4: BYE
MD5: @ Fellow Citizens
MD6: v. Cafundeu @ Qazian Memorial Stadium II, Qazox City. Capacity: 100,052
MD7: @ Daemonheart
MD8: @ Sirain
MD9: BYE
MD10: v. Fellow Citizens @ New Bruxen Hotel & Casino Field, New Bruxen. Capacity: 77,721

[Azulcena]

Something was happening in Azulcena. Since the airing of Maravilla's interview on ATV, a sort of underground market for bumper stickers, magnets, and t-shirts bearing the paraphrased quote, "It's Our Turn," or the Spanish "Nos Toma a Nosotros." They'd sometimes feature a picture of Maravilla, a famous one from the team's training days, frozen on the sidelines in his shades and brown leather coat, screaming at the top of his lungs. Throngs of the population were leaving for the stadium, bearing signs and shirts in Azulcenian national colors, the slogan plastered all across it.

Words were whispering about the nation, like "moral support" and "David and Goliath." The loss against Itheus didn't seem to matter. The public of Azulcena was rapt with attention now; they wanted a victory, and if anything they felt more optimistic that their team's first win of the cup would be against the vaunted legends of Starblaydia. They wanted a huge home presence at the next game, to make their boys feel watched, feel loved, feel powerful.

Football in Azulcena, up to now a school pastime and a family tradition, was becoming... a passion.

[Newmanistan]

(OOC: Note that these are private conversations, so nothing here would become known by any Hossaim journalist/player/coach/civilian).

(The Keislers arrive at closest airport in Hossaim as to where the Rockets are playing)

“I don’t like this place already!” exclaimed Stacey.

“Yeah well not every place can be as wonderful as Newmanistan!” laughed the now 15-year old Courtney Keisler, “And it kinda smells too.”

“Well that was probably just the one guy that walked by. Let’s go find the limo service booth and get right to the hotel!”

“Wonderful.” The Keislers look for an upper-class limo service in which can escort them to the hotel, although all it seems they can find are taxis and a shuttle bus. Stacey sighs, “I’m not going in a taxi meant for the common person and you should not be subjected to that.”

Courtney nods, “Yeah they probably smell twice as bad as that fat guy that walked by. But what are we gonna do?”

Just as Stacey was beginning to wonder what exactly, they would do, perhaps rent a car, a young couple approaches them. A college-age female screams, “OH MY GOD! STACEY KEISLER!” Stacey chuckles and can tell by her boyfriends Southport Tigers ballcap that these are Newmanistanians who have also made the trip. They go through the motions of signing autographs and taking pictures before the Keislers find out they are going to the same hotel; and they already have a rental car. Stacey swallows her pride and asks for a ride, telling them that their limo not had arrived, and of course the young couple was very eager to oblige.

“I don’t really know where I’m going, but I think the GPS will get us there,” said the young women, nervous and excited to have the Keislers in the car. They make small talk, and are approaching the hotel when the man tells them that,

“She also just found out she was pregnant last week. We thought about not coming because of that but man are we ever so glad we did. This is worth the trip on its own. Thank you so much.”

Stacey politely nods as they pull into a parking spot, but it would be Courtney who’d have a line that would stick with her, “That’s so cool. I know you will be a caring and loving father! Congratulations!” Stacey looked over at her daughter, not really thrilled with the remark, but doesn’t say anything about it until they actually make it to the hotel room.

“Why did you say that?” Stacey asked.

“What?”

“About that guy being a loving and caring father.”

“So?”

“Courtney, I know you meant something by that. It seemed as though you went out of your way to mention that given that you didn’t say anything to the woman about being a mother.”

“(sighs) What’s your problem? The guy was talking not the girl so that’s what I said. Geez, relax. You jealous of them or something?”

“Excuse me? I am not jealous of anything or anyone.”

“Yeah well they have something you don’t and will be able to raise a child as a couple. What about you?!”

“I told you so many times I regret that so much. But I am not jealous.”

“Yeah whatever. When I get pregnant you can’t say anything.”

(Mother-teenage daughter argument ensues. We can skip that part. When things calm down, and they each apologize for getting all angry with each other, they have dinner and the evening winds down.)

“Well, can’t wait to go to the game.”

“It’ll be fun. Big game for the Rockets in the return to qualifying. I expect to meet Junior there, and maybe we can talk for a little while.”

“Yeah he’s always nice to me.”

“Yes, yes he is.”

[The Babbage Islands]

Good morning, world. No fancy messages, just an RP cutoff for Zones 16-30.

Matchday Two

NB: Tables will be delayed. I have had a scorinator disaster, and will need to either hand-correct all tables for the rest of the phase or prepare a new NSFS 2.7 file and switch to that version.

[Cassadaigua]

This is a fancier MD2 RP Cutoff message.

Results

My co-hosts news is unfortunate and I hope he is able to work it out. But note that everything is well in Zones 1-15.

[Socialist States Owen]

FSSO HELD TO DRAW BY COTSWALDS

Midfielder Josh Stevenson breaks clear of the Cotswalds defence.

The FSSO was held to a 1-1 draw with the Greater Cotswalds due to a late goal.

The first half was largely uneventful but in the second half the FSSO looked the better side, much to the surprise of the pundits who were predicting a defeat for the in form FSSO who are into the semi finals of the Market Cup. They were even more surprised when young left midfielder Josh Stevenson broke clear of the Cotswalds defence on 61 minutes and rifled a shot past the keeper into the bottom corner. The goal was met with a ferocious roar from the FSSO fans, while the opposition supporters sat there in stunned silence. However the Cotswalds fought back and got a goal in the 87th minute when a low corner was flicked in to level the scoring. The FSSO lit up again and controlled the last 5 minutes, but defender Dennis Arnold's shot cleared the bar by inches when the Cotswalds keeper spilled the ball in his direction. Although the side will be dissapointed they couldn't hold on to win, it was a good result.

[Kazzoria]

Kazzoria 3-1 Orlkjestad

Matthias sat back in his mansion and sighed a sigh of relief. He had managed it. The poor run of form was over and the team was back on track. It had been a decent performance and would hopefully get those cocky Orlkjestadians to shut up about how easy this would be. Now they had they advantage in the table having already faced Nethertopia. It had been a good performance by the team and only a fluky goal from a gust of wind stopped their side from managing a clean sheet. It had been three well struck goals from Liam Miller and Ethan Trent that won the game and the team were obviously not struggling without Bob Lee. It took more than one player to make a team though, didn't it? His phone then beeped so he picked it up. The message read "You may have managed to avoid the room this time, but next time you won't be so lucky." He gulped. He had forgotten just how much these people frightened him even when he won. A lot.

It was silent in the morning. Not a sound could be heard. Everyone thought that at that moment in time they were totally safe. Then the gun began to blaze. The sides of the tents were shredded and torn, everyone ran. The blue panthers were split up around the camp and they thought that they were going to be killed. Then the tribes men and women started to fire arrows at their attackers. It caused enough chaos and distraction for the Blue Panthers to escape. To avoid them all being chased down and killed the tribes people drove in different directions. Ben and Harry had both been smuggled away in the same car so they sat in the back in silence. In the end they asked where they were going as they travelled further into the desert. The tribe's man told them that they were going to the place where the rest of the tribe lived, they were going underground. And the tribe's man was telling the truth. They disappeared in the car into a dark large cave.

Yet again those freedom fighters had beaten him. This was beyond a joke. People needed to die for this. He would destroy those who had failed him and employ those who he trusted. He sent the leagion who had failed him to room one-o-one and then to their graves and sent his best young warriors after them. With them went a top notch spy who was known not only for tracking people but for tracking them from the other side of the world. He pulled out his phone and began to dial. He said "Hello. This is your King, you have failed me greatly. Please report to room 101. Oh wait... sorry mother wrong number." He then dialled the right number and sat down to watch the execution of the failed leagion. He would enjoy this.

[Kulverint]

Kulverint get disappointing draw at Pinsk!


The Kulverintian team got a surprising and desappointing draw today at Pinsk. The game began with a surprising and yet delighting goal for the Pinsk national team at the 5 minute mark. An awry pass by Farné Dré@na let the striker through to chip it over Junao Minniana. Then the game became more of a midfield one, until the 28th minute. A brilliant long ball by Friansza Vidarnia got to Janni Milverki, who neatly tapped it in. Immediately after this, Xiniana Milverki was taken off and replaced by the up and coming Janna Houkatli. It was after this, that the second Pinsk goal was scored, again from a defending mistake.

After half time, Kulverint began really attacking, and after 81 minutes of play, Kulverint had equalised thanks to Janna Houkatli, and that was how the game ended.

---

Pinsk 2-2 Kulverint

[Mangolana]

Mangolana gazette special
Mangolana wins


Mangolana wins again as predicted against Jacouba. It was a tough hard fought game for Mangolana that would end in a 2-1 victory for Mangolana. From the start everybody watching knew it could go ether way.

The game, just like the last, started off quickly when Jacouba striker shot the ball from an unorthodox angle, that confused goaltender Robby Mathewson, as the ball sailed by him an into the net to give Jacouba a 1-0 lead at the 9:23 mark.

Mangolana after that though would put a lock on their defense, not allowing Jacouba another shot on goal. The defense seemed to be inspired by the effort of left center back Mathew Johnson. Though, even with such excellent play from their defense, Mangolana would not find an equalizer until late in the second half.

That moment would come at 78:11 when Mangolana captain Robert Jimenez would head home a cross from Rudy Johnson. The goal was set up by great passing from Mangolana midfield which created gaps in the Jacouba defense opening up room for the cross to take place and Mangolana to score the equalizer.

The fireworks in this game would not be finished after that though, for in stoppage time at 91:45, Mangolana would score again, this time off a great solo effort from Franklim Ordonez to score from 22 yards out off a magnificent strike. The ball looked like a laser heading toward the goal, leaving the keeper with no chance to stop it.

The game would end just after this leaving Jacouba no chance to respond, and giving Mangolana a 1st place tie in the group with 6 points. Mangolana looks like a team on mission, led by Franklim Ordonez and Robert Jimenez. Mangolana will look to continue their winning ways in their next match against Sibirsky.

Mangolana VS Sibirsky preview

Mangolana will half to be in top form in order to win this game, as they take on a much better Sibirsky team. Mangolana's stars must play one of their best games in their career if they halve any hope of winning, but as always this team can sneak up on you if you underestimate them. Are prediction, Mangolana earns a draw 2-2 in surprising result

[Loonaterian]

Loonaterian pulled of a close victory away against Rustika. The game came down to the wire, but in the end Loonaterian triumphed.

In the first half, neither team excelled. The closestr anybody got was Rustikan striker, Palmiro Reve, got right up close, he chipped it over Korali Kromina's head. Unfortunately for Rustika, Ronnie Kane was on the line to save the day. He booted it forward. Ricardo Harole got the ball, passed it to Jani'é Boréca who ran forward and had a shot. But Rustik goalkeeper, Gerardo Tao, pulled out a fantasic save. At half time the score was still 0-0.

The second half was exciting at the beginning and the end. It started with a foul by Lorenzo Tilli on Ali Martinô. Fortunately Ali Martinô was fine. The free kick provided nothing. Lorenzo Tilli had received a yellow card. The rest of the half was a little boring with no one even having a decent chance. In the 89' minute when it seemed like it was going to be a draw, 0-0, Jani'é Boréca broke free of the defense and had a shot. Gerardo Tao saved it, but it rebounded back to Boréca, who slotted it home. 0-1. The final whistle blew; Loonaterian had their first win of the World Cup.

Zone 6 Standings

   Team                     P  W D L For Ag +/- Pts
 1 Sorthern Northland       2  2 0 0  8  0  +8  6
 2 Octinstine               2  1 0 1  2  7  -5  3
 3 Loonaterian              2  1 0 1  1  1  +0  3
 4 Los Estados del Sol      2  1 0 1  2  2  +0  3
 5 Rustika                  2  0 1 1  0  1  -1  1
 6 Cursores                 2  0 1 1  0  2  -2  1

Boréca prepares for a shot:

[Khytenna]

Result: 10 man Khytenna lose to Valladares!


Valladares: 4
Flórez 20th (pen) 76th
Ospina 41st
Gignac 67th

Khytenna: 0


Cards: Vancil: Red 20th
A poor tackle by Vancil in the 20th minute of the game was enough to give him a red card and give Valladares the lead in a game where Khytenna played weIl but didn’t deliver and was punished by 4 goals to nil

Khytenna had the kick off and went well into taking the game to Valladares and in the 5th minute of the game, Firestone was giving a fantastic through ball by Rusek, however Firestone somehow managed to sky the ball! A very embarrassed Firestone could only walk back and face the jeer of the home crowd, it wasn’t just Firestone missing shots, Pellett missed a fantastic opertunity, in the 14th minute, Thorne crossed in a good ball to Lini, who cheasted and controlled the ball well and had a one on one with the keeper, but the shot went into his waiting hands! Khytenna however, had the worst to come, A through ball by Taylor to Ospina saw the stirker get brought down by Vancil, Vancil made a tackle for the ball but managed to kick both of Ospina’s feet away, not only was the penalty given but the referee thought it was enough to send Vancil to the dressing room! Flórez lined up to take the penalty, and shot the ball to the right side of Gatton as Gatton went left. 1-0 to Valladares, with the home crowd cheering. Khytenna’s defence tryed to get back together, but Valladares continued to hound the now ten men Khytenna, Valladares got there second in the 41st minute after Ospina headed home a cross from Gignac, the first half ended 2-0 and it certainly wasn’t khytenna’s day.

The second half resulted in to more goals for Valladares and not much chances for Khytenna to realy be a threat, the only good chance they had was from a Curling shot by Carmichael that ricocheted of the cross bar, Valladares 3rd came from Gignac, he tried his luck from long rang and it succeed in beating the the keeper, Valladares was almost certain at this point to win the 3 points, Khytenna just didn’t have the men to get past the defence at this point as Valladares attackers where all over the defence. Flórez got his 2nd and Valladares 4th and final goal of the night in the 76th minute, a deep cross from Oliveira found Flórez onside, all he then did was put the ball simple past Gatton for a great goal.
Khytenna still sit second in the group, and now will face Arse of Asia in their next game, after their bye, Khytenna will probley take this break to reflect on the last to games in training. The team that will play Arse of Asia has been announced anyway, with Dunstan coming on the side as to replace the Vancil as he serves his ban


Reporter John Dark

The team is Below:

GK 1. Tim Gatton (age:28 Team: Central FC)
RB 3. james Ursua (23 Blue bay)
LB 15. Oliver Testerman ( 22 Atlético Central, Cafundeu)
DC 18. Darron Dunstan (27 Persepi Sharks)
DC 17. Nelson Bohannan(26 Alterdamm Merchants, Gray harbour)
RM RM 7. Casey Thorne(captain) (24 Xephic Reds)
LM 16. jamie Pittenger (20 Blue bay)
CM 8. Kurk Rusek (24 King’s District)
CAM 4. John Carmichael (21 Central FC) (21 Percepi Sharks)
FW 10. Lini Pellett (20 AC New Haven, Silver beach)
FW 9. Fergal Firestone (20 blue bay)

                         Gatton
Ursua           Dunstan         Bohannan            Testerman

Thorne                   Rusek                Pittenger
                            
                       Carmichael
                    
                 Pellett        Firestone

[Eastfield Lodge]

The Sporting Gazette

Goals Galore against Jimmy Wales

The Eastfield Lodge team were expected to win their second game against lowly ranked Jimmy Wales, but very few people would have anticipated the final scoreline. 8-1, with all the goals coming from Eastfield Lodge players (yes someone scored an own goal), with six different scorers on the scoreboard, one for the wrong reason.

The Jimmy Wales team may well have been quaking in their boots, but it was they who took the lead after 7 minutes, after a mix-up between keeper Aidan Jagger and defender Geoff Wood. A harmless long ball was collected by Jagger, who then rolled it out to Wood. He then came under pressure, and tried to pass it back to the keeper, but did it so forcefully that Jagger couldn't get to it and it ended up in the back of the net. Wood then made up for it as he set up Shabeen Ahmad for the equaliser three minutes later, threading a ball through the makeshift defence for Shabeen to fire home. However, they tightened up slightly, and the second goal came minutes before the half-time whistle, with Sameer Ahmad breaking through on the flank, cutting inside and beating the keeper from a ridiculous angle. 2-1 at half-time.

The second half was, for one team, an unmitigated disaster, while it was a training session for the other team. Thomas O'Henly doubled the team's lead 8 minutes into the second half, guiding Shabeen Ahmad's low shot into the net with a cheeky backheel. With 61 minutes played, a defender who we cannot name for some bizarre legal reason, punched Thomas O'Henly in the face, knocking him out. O'Henly was taken off the pitch and was diagnosed with concussion, but due to the upcoming bye day, he will be fit for the crucial match against Akbarabad. The offence was committed in the box, and the offender given his marching orders. Shabeen smashed the ball past the hapless keeper from the spot to make it 4-1. EL's fifth goal was courtesy of O'Henly's substitute, Sarah Douglas, making her first international appearance at senior level; she headed home a brilliantly placed cross to mark her debut goal within 8 minutes of coming on (anyone see a pattern developing?). The sixth came from Sameer Ahmad on 77 minutes, who poked in a rebounded shot from Ben Madison. Madison got his goal as well as the team's seventh with 5 minutes remaining of normal time, flicking in a free kick from Shabeen Ahmad III at the far post. Three minutes of stoppage time ensued, and the eighth goal came as Shabeen Ahmad III completed his hat-trick seconds before the whistle, but still in the 93rd minute, collecting a long punt from keeper Aidan Jagger, getting one-on-one with the keeper who was having a nightmarish day at the office, rounding him, and slotting the ball home to complete the rout.

---

Team to play Akbarabad after bye at home: Starting XI

Goal Tally WC54Q:
Shabeen Ahmad III: 8
Sameer Ahmad: 5
The Doctor: 3
Rory the Plastic Centurion: 1
Ben Madison: 1
Thomas O'Henly: 1
Sarah Douglas: 1

[Landau Institute]

OFFICIAL REPORT FROM LANDAU INSTITUTE SQUAD
topic: playing against teams without a roster

As I know how much you, master professors of the Landau Institute, are anxious for the first report sent by us during this World Cup qualifying campaign, I am very sorry to be the one to bring you bad news in it. Perhaps you, with much more experience than us, may be able to get more positive things than what we got during these two matches, as we have been placed in two equal scenarios during the two first matches, one that was expected but not wanted: a game in which we could discover practically nothing about our opponents, because they didn't give us any information and denied to reveal facts about their lives or their routine. It is very sad to get stuck with people unwilling to help with our studies, but such an incident was even awaited for us. But things got worse now that we find out that only a single other team in our group has revealed information about them, so we suppose that they may be the only one who would be willing to answer our questions and react positively to our handling of the game, this way giving us enough material to go further in our studies. But, I think that we should stop discussing about the lamenting lack of help given by our opponents on the pitch but allies on science, and talk about the development of our studies after the first two matches. We won the games, which will make our supporters happy, but unfortunately our opponents didn't tell us even their names, much less their characteristics or feelings.

Perhaps the correct path of action in this case is to, instead of wanting to analyze what we have heard, is to think about why we have not heard more, why they have refused to give us more information. After all, we ought to not develop our studies based only on what we heard, but also on how we hear something, meaning about how the other person says that thing to us, the choosing of words, the manner of speaking and reacting to our questioning. So, their decision to not reveal anything works as a reaction, and our lack of direct information may be a source for a lot of indirect information. Their refusal to talk to our players may be a symptom. And, even though the symptom isn't the target of a treatment, and more than this can not be the target, it is, without doubt, a source of information about our opponents. But which symptom does this unwillingness refers to? Talking with the other members of our squad, we have some possible paths: it may be amnesia, which would mean that these players simply didn't know the answer, instead of not willing to talk about it. Or it may be the fear of revealing this information. In the end, we are almost sure that these incidents happen due to a defence mechanism acting on these players, blocking them from talking freely to us. Since we have the second leg matches yet to be played, we can go further in our studies about this, to have a better picture and see which defence mechanism is stopping them from revealing information to us.

[Cafundeu]

FOLHA DA CAPITAL
O jornal no lugar certo na hora certa da notícia

Edição de Domingo - Ano 240 - Caderno III - Preço: V$3,80

---

NEW MONOPOLIST SQUAD TO PROVE ITSELF

Cafundéu has begun its World Cup campaign, having to play in a different format for the qualifiers this time, and is doing a fine job, but still under many critics. With The Scout deciding to substitute interim coach Andreas Gilsoweller Veiga after the last competition, the CCFM received critics, because the current Cafundó do Juta coach was seen as the perfect name to keep with the National Team. Other names were rumoured for the position, such as U-21 National Team and Dunboor FC coach Renário, or even foreigners like Petardos S/A's coach Alfonso Di Angelo and Eldorado's coach Connor Mengucci. But, in the end, the right person for the job appeared: Ganz Ijak, who left The Babbage Islands' National Team after several years living there, and now is back to Cafundéu with the huge responsibility of doing a good job with the Monopolists. When his name was announced, it was well received by the supporters and even the experts, who are difficult to please. After all, Ijak is a legend inside the nation and an accomplished coach, with a successful career. But the critics soon returned when the new coach released the list of players composing the current squad. Many changes happened, and most people considered that squad to be a very weak one. Many criticized the coach for what was a poor choice, although there is still a group that believes that it couldn't be much better, and that the current generation of Cafundelense players isn't very good, in opposition to the next one which is extremely promising.

The most criticized sector of the current Monopolist squad was the attack. It is true that Romergleydson was the top goalscorer of the last season of the Cafundelense league, but the other members of the attack surely wouldn't find a space on the squad in other times: Danilinho is a quick and smart striker, but not a world class one, and probably won't even play for one of the best teams of the country. Tico is away from the country for a long time, and even away from football in general, since his club doesn't play any major competitions right now, being the most surprising choice of Ganz Ijak. And Cone, although strong and good as a pivot, is seen as someone who misses too many goalscoring attempts, and was even the target of jokes at the beginning of his career. And, in an incredible coincidence, surprising everyone in Cafundéu, it was exactly this attack that performed greatly in the first match of the Monopolists, against Qazox. In the Obelisco Monumental, in Lasft, thousands of supporters saw Romergleydson and Danilinho scoring to put Cafundéu in the lead by two goals before the tenth minute. No one was expecting the Monopolists to be so dominant in the match against their best opponents in the group, and the goals scored at that point would only be half of the amount of goals to be scored in that game. Tico and Romergleydson would be the scorers of the other two, having to overcome a violent Qazox team.

But in the second match things got back to normal. Playing away this time, Cafundéu had a hard time against Sirain and was only able to come home with the three points thanks to a goal coming from a free kick, taken by Esquerdinha. The attack returned to be criticized, as a comfortable victory against the lower ranked opponent was seen as an obligation. But should everyone be talking so badly about the Cafundelense National Team if we are right now with two wins and not a single goal suffered? Perhaps this is just that our supporters simply can't keep themselves satisfied, and if we end winning the World Cup they may lament that we didn't win all matches.

[Tretskivucia]

Victory Puts Tretskivucian Hopes High Again
Boris back to normal

The Tretskivucian Team at the World Cup have made a satisfying 2-0 win over Carasatoga. This made many Tretskivucians start to believe that we will, once again, be able to qualify. There is one problem - Consortina. Theyy have won both of their matches so far and are currently top in the Zone, followed by us. Since Boris is back to normal, the Tretskivucian Football Association sent Boris over to Consortina to have a word with their team, asking them kindly to "lose some more games because Tretskivucian morale is a little low". We believe this is a fair agreement and they should follow through with their half of the deal and we will follow through with our half - win.

[Pretty Awesome Persons]

PAP Sports
VICTORY!

PAP 2 (Mendoza '43; Zizi '45)
Mytannion 0

The second victory in a row for the Black and Whites was today and this time against Mytannion. Mendoza scored a wonderful high and powerful shot in the left corner from outside the box for his second goal so far. Then, one of the funniest things I've seen so far happened. As so as Mytannion kicked off in the 44th minute, Zizi stole it and ran all the way to the goal and fired a rocket into the goal from 13 yards out. Zizi left the defense in shame and sealed the game for PAP two-nil. The second half was full of unsuccessful counter-attacks for both teams.
After the match Steven Sanchez complimented the team on their victory.
We've seen improvement with Zizi, he's scored 2 goals in 2 games and both have sealed the game for PAP. Maybe he deserves to be a striker after all, most with 3 assists so far, he is also a playmaker. Hopefully Zizi can continue with this steady stream of goals and help out the offense a little.
Hopefully we can win the next match against North Alexandera, who was defeated by Landau Institute 2-3 today, but the slim 1 goal margin shows that even though they are ranked lowly, they are a force to be reckoned with. Of course,
we like to be optimistic around here, so we believe we'll win. The important thing is that we don't lose.

On to some other news, Steven Sanchez said that he is already planning ahead for the match against Landau Institute, with formation changes, style changes and position changes. The match against Landau Institute will be crucial (like the Sorthern Northland game 4 years ago, nostalgia anyone?) and will most likely decide who will be #1 in the zone. It's important we either win or tie. Landau Institute is ranked lower than Sorthern Northland was 4 years ago, but ever since Delaclava thrashed us 5-1 in the MSMT, we need to be careful and ready.
4 years ago, we lost against SN 2-1 and 3-1 respectively.

The North Alexandera game is PAP's main focus right now, said Steven Sanchez.

Play of the day:



PAP goalkeeper Frank Roderick saves a powerful shot from a Mytannion foward.

Goal Totals:
F. Gonzalez: 2 goals
H. Mendoza: 2 goals
L. Zizi: 2 goals

Schedule:

Pre-qual friendlies
MD1 : PAP 4-2 Wewtlandem (WIN)
MD2 : PAP 2-0 Mytannion (WIN)
MD3 : North Alexandera vs PAP
MD4 : PAP vs Landau Institute
MD5 : PAP vs Mongea
Mid-zonal friendlies
MD6 : Wewtlandem vs PAP
MD7 : Mytannion vs PAP
MD8 : PAP vs North Alexandera
MD9 : Landau Insitute vs PAP
MD10 : Mongea vs PAP
Pre-interzonal friendlies

Prediction vs North Alexandera: 2-0 WIN

Roster vs North Alexandera:
Starting XI

[The Andromeda Islands]

Andromeda News Service
World Cup Qualifying
Bank of Andromeda Stadium - Joppa
February 6, 2013

The Andromeda Eagles started both the New Year and 2014 World Cup campaign with a home loss to Carpathia and Ruthenia. Last night, they sought their first victory against an international opponent on Andromedan soil against the country of Meguroko.

Like last month’s contest, the field was covered with a light mist and the weather was overcast. But this time, the Eagles were ready for both their opponent and the adverse weather conditions.

The team had assumed a defensive posture for much of the first half.

“We needed our players to get a feel for the field today,” Coach Diana Lazzaro said. “It rained last night, but the last few weeks have been mild as far as rain.”

The defensive posture changed in the 35th minute. A quick series of passes between Kim Kyung Jin, Tia Patton and Genevieve Johnson resulted in a Kim goal just before injury time, and just before a hard rain poured over Bank of Andromeda Stadium.

The hard rain became a light drizzle as the second half began. Again, the Eagles assumed a defensive posture in an effort to acclimate themselves to the adverse conditions caused by the brief rain.

“You know what they say about weather in Joppa?” Assistant Coach Rachel Madden asked. “If you don’t like the weather, just wait a few minutes.

Because of the inclement weather, the team had changed out of their red kits and wore their blue uniforms for the second half.

When the Eagles had possession during the last 20 minutes, they attempted several times to score a second goal. The Meguroko defence was too tenacious in the second stance. So the Eagles front line regrouped. After kicking the ball back to midfielders Elizabeth Gordon and Bianca Knox, three of the frontliners got into a huddle. The fourth, Kim Kyung Jin, received the ball from Knox and capitalized, scoring a second goal in the 80th minute.

“I was surprised too,” Knox said. “I thought that Kim was going to wait for Patton to give the signal. Instead, she charged three defenders and the goalkeeper. Somehow she managed to get the ball in the goal.”

Kim explained her strategy in very simple terms.

“The defence saw the huddle. They think I’ll wait for the huddle to break. I catch them sleeping. Score!”

Johnson, Patton and Thomas were all surprised, too.

“We’re here making a strategy plan,” Thomas said. “And the crowd starts to roar. We look up. Kim and Bianca Knox are high fiving each other.”

Patton was also amazed.

“It’s as if Kim Kyung Jin is on a different plane than the rest of us,” Patton said. “She’s playing chess while the rest of us are playing checkers.”

“What does chess got to do with football?” Thomas asked.

In their effort to secure their first home victory against International competition, The Andromeda Eagles made all the right moves against Meguroko, resulting in a 2-0 victory. Their next match will be on March 5 at Antoletia.
___________________________________________________________

PLAYER OF THE GAME

#20 KIM KYUNG JIN
Forward

Date of Birth: October 10, 1986 in Busan
Team: Joppa Lady Jaguars
Education: BA, Psychology; University of Silla, 2008
Height: 1.60 m
Experience: 41st Baptism of Fire (2011)
2012 AFA Goals: 14 in 21 games

Kim Kyung Jin has been the leading scorer in the Andromeda Football Association for three consecutive years. She personally outscored the two lowest ranked Teams in the AFA’s Women’s Division.

Kim Kyung Jin is also well known for her unique fashion sense and her interesting responses to interview questions. Kim’s first language is Korean.
___________________________________________________________

STARTERS FOR GAME 3
F 13 Raven Callas, 19 Joppa
F 14 Mercedes Sloane, 25 Angeles City
F 23 Melanie Braga, 24 Joppa
F 24 Vanessa Ortiz, 24 Valois
M 33 Catherine Zeta Watson, 18 Joppa
M 34 Jennifer Cohen, 24 Andromeda City
M 35 Melissa Alexander, 23 Andromeda City
B 43 Magdalena Dole, 21 Todd’s Cove
B 44 Asha Maharashtra, 19 Angeles City
B 45 Kim Eun Ji, 23 Busan
G 53 Adriana Korsakova, 23 Angeles City

[Qlumez]

Rlïceru si Tonaqiz

How does it feel, to bounce from heaven to hell in such a short time?

Looks like Qlumez has a ways to go before they reach the world class level. After the massacre on Sam The Reaper, the crowd was already dreaming of a grand stand in the world stage. Young players like Duni, Cahbul, Vucmi and Pernil seemed ready to saunter into the World Cup and make everyone do the mubqu.*

Kelssek gave us a cold shower of reality. Things ain't so simple when you want to be among the best of the best, bub.

Their marking was so tight, it made the field small for the Qlumezian players. There wasn't room for the exchanges of passes that make it so exhilarating to watch. They broke us, and crushed us, and mercilessly exposed all our weak points. It wasn't a simple clammed defense, they really marked on every point of the pitch, making every pass a risk. And they attacked whenever the Qlumezian team committed a mistake.

Mistakes were committed, in fact. Many of them. That doesn't mean it was the fault of our players. Truth is, we were outclassed. Buli knew he was facing a test, and his inexperience got the best of him. He was unable to find a solution to help the team play better until the very end of the game. When he reassumed control, it was already too late and we were four goals behind.

We must give credit to the adversaries. Kelssek did everything right, the Ucslà goal near the end doing nothing to dimnish their effort. They were disciplined, well organized and did their homework. They had players putting great performances, especially Arsenault, who ended up becoming the unofficial maestro of our defeat.

The gods of football are fickle and cruel. May Qlumez heed the lesson taught today, and keep improving until the next match. We can still do it, but dreams are not enough. We need to prove ourselves if we want the black, blue and orange flying together with the best in the ultimate stage.

*a typical music of Qlumez

[Consortina]

Minute-by-minute-report: CR Oscilloscopes vs. Consortina

Pre-Kickoff: Hello and Welcome to the second matchday at World Cup 54. CR Oscilloscopes faces the Consortinean 11. After their surprise win against Haginonia, Consortina should be the favorite in this game, seeing that CR Oscilloscopes failed to convince in their first game against Caratasoga. Wildgrimson’s boys will be carried by the flow of the first victory – but maybe it will also be their weakness. Concerning broadcasting names of opponent’s players, we are still working out the legal kinks. For this match it looks pretty bad, though. The non-Consortineans we will have to address as an anonymous mass. Nice to know that we officially forced to dehumanize the enemy, I guess.

1. CR Oscilloscopes kicks off and the game is underway. Consortina in white and red feature the same starting squad as last matchday even though Weyerhagen looked back to old form. Ravenburg and Reich hold the midfield and block the first attack with a shrewd double marking.
5. Consortina aims to control the game, keeping the ball in their ranks in the midfield for a while. Toivonen loses his marker but Ravenburg spotted him too late and the pass is offside.
8. CR Oscilloscopes tries to create pressure over the right side but Reich and Gülyin hold firm. A speculative pass to the striker fails to beat the offside trap.
12. Consortina looks altogether more dangerous now. Peace breaks through on the left wing and sends a high cross into the box. Mühlbergen doesn’t reach it but Ravenburg comes rushing in from behind. His effort to reach the ball is deemed a foul, though.
17. Not much happening here as CR Oscilloscopes manages to keep their lines closed now. Toivonen stands around a few meters in front of the area with no one to pass to. His pass back to Reich is almost intercepted. This would have been dangerous.
20. Best chance by CR Oscilloscopes so far. Corner from the left side, Eisenberg neglects to run forward to claim the ball and suddenly a striker has a clear shot at the goal. His header is too slow and cleared from the goal line by Peace.
24. Yellow Card for Yngfrid Reich after a short tussle with referee McAllister after a delicate pass from Zarkov to Mühlbergen has been ruled offside. It probably was, though, albeit only by a few centimeters.
27. Both teams are lurking for each other to make an error, not committing themselves to the offense. Toivonen tries a lone dribbling against three opponents. He even gets through but finds himself in a position at the goal line with nobody to pass to.
31. But this is better: GOAL for Consortina! Levon Beer de Shevin marks his first goal in an official tournament. After a foul against Peace on the left wing, Toivonen brings a free kick high towards the goal. The opposing keeper waits too long to run forward and Beer de Shevin gets onto the ball first. He heads it clean over the onrushing keeper for the 0-1.
33. Consortina take their chance now that CR Oscilloscopes are shocked and disoriented. Zarkov is not challenged on the right wing and he tries to initiate an attack. His pass to Mühlbergen is not precise enough.
38. CR Oscilloscopes try to stabilize now and keep the ball among their ranks. Peace and Ravenburg intercept but suddenly a high ball in the Consortinean half exposes their left flank. Nawashimaru stands alone against two attackers but he manages to delay them long enough for Beer de Shevin to rush in for support.
42. A better attempt. Ravenburg stands badly and is overrun by two opponents. CR Oscilloscopes set up their striker with a low pass through the inside-right channel. Beer de Shevin doesn’t dare to tackle inside the box and allows the striker to shoot. Eisenberg manages to save the shot with some effort.

Halftime: And there is the whistle, and probably not a minute too early. In a rather slow game, Consortina had assumed the driver’s seat for the first half hour before slowly losing the grip. CR Oscilloscopes is not dangerous enough to pose serious problems for the Consortinean defense yet but this may change with pressure over time. After last matchday’s performance it may be possible that we are going to see Weyerhagen come in.

46. Kickoff once again. Consortina with no substitution but they stand visibly deeper now. Even Toivonen joins the holding midfielders in the defensive efforts.
49. Consortina doesn’t find the order in their game yet. Reich and Goldstein leave too large a gap between them and allow an opponent to keep the ball uninterrupted for a few moments. The shot at the goal from 25 meters out goes wide.
54. Consortina begins to stabilize now. Once again, the right flank is a major factor in securing the game. Gülyin wins the ball with a perfect sliding tackle and sets up Reich. The midfielder carries the ball and waits for the right time to deliver the final pass. He waits too long and is tackled from behind. Free kick from 40 meters out that brings nothing.
55. Counterattack by CR Oscilloscopes. Peace and Ravenburg are late to join the defense. Reich and Nawashimaru manage to hold the left flank but can’t prevent a high ball into the box. Goldstein heads clear just in front of the opposing striker.
60. Substitution by Consortina. Wildgrimson brings Weyerhagen to replace Aiko Ravenburg. The young South Superplex player didn’t make a bad game but he played too much in the offense and Weyerhagen certainly can be a stabilizing factor. Consortina will probably try to preserve their slim lead.
63. Or they don’t. Quiet a decent attack over the left side. Nawashimaru sends Toivonen through the inside-left channel. Toivonen manages to lose his marker but loses control of the ball. With a last-ditch effort he tries to bring it over to Mühlbergen but the ball is cleared.
68. CR Oscilloscopes are playing keepball for a while, apparently trying to lure Consortina forward. Weyerhagen and Reich are too experienced for that trick and just wait for them to try something. The game almost crawls to a halt now.
69. Or it doesn’t! Free kick for CR Oscilloscopes just outside the area. Beer de Shevin tries to intercept a pass but he miscontrols it clumsily and the ball hits his arm. McAlister gives the free kick for handball.
70. Debates from Consortina are to no avail. The free kick is taken indirectly with a trick shot over a player positioned at the goal line. After two passes, suddenly an attacker has a clean shot at the goal but he has to take the ball volley and hits it too low. Over by a few meters.
74. Toivonen draws two players towards him with a solo then delivers the ball to Zarkov. The latter tries his luck with a lop towards the far corner but the keeper is ready. This is the last action in the game for Tore Toivonen. The young striker has not much power left. Rothschild replaces him.
77. The game looks securely in Consortina’s hands once again. Weyerhagen runs into a bad pass and brings the ball to Reich. The Warrior marches through the midfield unopposed. He finds Peace with a long ball over the heads of the defenders. The Heidesand wingwomen takes too much time to control the ball and loses it before she can deliver something.
81. The final offense by CR Oscilloscopes begins now. Attack over Consortina’s left wing Nawashimaru is overrun and can’t prevent a low cross into the area. Beer de Shevin clears with a desperate tackles that he is lucky to get right.
83. And once again over the left. This time, Weyerhagen stands better and helps out. The attack is halted dead in its tracks.
87. And Consortina get to try a counterattack every once in a while, too. Rothschild has the ball on the left flank, playing himself free with a double pass. He tries his luck directly and his shot is saved. He probably should have tried to find Mühlbergen.
90(+1). CR Oscilloscopes seem just to be exhausted now. The last attack just looks like a half-hearted scramble. High ball into the box almost from the halfway line. Goldstein heads clear and Zarkov picks up the ball to keep in the own ranks for a few minutes.

Full Time: This is it. Consortina wins 1-0 which is mostly deserved even though they lost control of the game for some periods of time. But at this stage in the team’s development, perfection is far away and so far what we see is very promising.

CR Oscilloscopes – Consortina 0:1
Goals: 0:1 Beer de Shevin (27.)
Yellow Cards: Reich, Beer de Shevin
Red Cards: -
Chances: 6:6
Possession: 45%:55%
Passing: 64%:71%
Player of the Match: Levon Beer de Shevin


THE NEXT MATCH:
With Swilatia, the first of the truly tough games awaits. Probably, Wildgrimson will bring back Weyerhagen to the first team to increase stability in the midfield. The other positions will remain as they are. Generally a more defensive approach is to be expected.

-------------------------------------#1 Eisenberg --------------------------------------------

#5 Gülyin--------#2 Goldstein --------#4 Beer de Shevin-------#16 Nawashimaru

------------------------#6 Reich------------#10 Weyerhagen------------------------------

-----#19 Zarkov-----------------#7 Toivonen-----------------------------#8 Peace------

-----------------------------------#13 Mühlbergen-------------------------------------------

(Style will be -3)

[Burchadinger]

ALEXANDER ZRUW'S BLOG
Albundania vs Burchadinger

I could have stayed in my comfortable house, and watch the game in the TV room. But I decided that it was best if I go to one of those omnipresent bars or pubs, just to gain the real World Cup experience. There was a small pub within walking distance from my humble home, so I donned my jersey, along with some jeans, and off I went with my black scarf. It wasn't too long a walk, about 10 minutes, and it got my body feeling good again, something I sorely missed. When I got there it was filled, but I managed to get a seat in the corner, with the television hanging just ahead of me. It was still 10:10 in the evening, with 20 minutes to go until kickoff, but the cheers and chants had already begun. I was served my milkshake, and all I had to do was wait.

5 minutes to kick off, and we (around 70 or more people) were treated to the lineups for the game. I took out my notepad, to take down anything interesting. I didn't realize anything different at first, other than Lukas Reynard on the starting lineup for the recovering Bernd Hansen. However, I was shocked when I saw Klaus Diefenbaker's name on the bench. Deval Enke couldn't have done that, could he? Maybe the producers accidentally put the wrong name on the wrong place on the screen. But we were treated to a shock when we saw Diefenbaker on the bench with a strap on his knee. "Damnit!" I yelled out loudly. At first I felt pretty embarrassed, but most of the people there shared my sentiments. With the unproven Dietrich Keirnz in goal, anything could happen.

Despite the rather sad scoreline, we did fight, and the Albundanian players seemed to agree. The first half was a good one. The Albundanians definitely had the majority of the chances, and Keirnz did a good job of catching the ball three times, once in a very tight position. Die Adler weren't able to break through on many occasions, however, but when they did, they were always close, with Markus Klogh coming close twice, denied once by the crossbar, and denied another time by a good save by Martin Kellogg. By now, both sides were definitely getting nervy, and the deadlock just had to be broken.... by the 'wrong' side.

Enke knew that Raul Ibanez was going to be Albundania's danger man, and up until the 42nd minute, the Burchadingan team had done well to deny him, or his strike partner Kurt Winger, a good position to shoot from. However, an awful mistake by Leon Muller in which he totally misjudged when to tackle and hit only the grass, gave Ibanez the necessary space to think carefully, and his stunning shot rifled into the net. Keirnz tried, but it was all for nothing. Albundania 1-0 Burchadinger, but there was still a second half to be played, and I was hoping that Enke would address the team with one of his famous and fiery speeches. We were still in good spirits, and cheering just as happily. The frown on our faces hadn't been drawn yet, not that we knew that it would.

Both managers retained their first-half team for the second half, and Die Adler seemed to be in good shape to equalize. The look on the players' face would tell you that they were motivated, and I was confident that they were. I knew I was. We almost got what we wanted immediately, when Hans-Mayer Hansen quickly found Wilhelm Sigmundson, and The Sig nearly converted the cross into a goal, but just hit the right side of the post. The team quickly found another chance, with Klogh finding Alexander Schmidt, but the cross was a poor one, and was taken cared off by Albundania's defenders. The game seemed to be heading for just a 1-0 victory for the home side, and as I looked around my surroundings, I could see a few fans leaving, with a few others covering their faces. It was a bad situation, but we, the fans, never gave up hope. Neither did the players for that matter, but Albundania's defence, commented as being their weakest part, stood up, and as the game entered stoppage time, Lisa Jacoby found a cross from Ibanez, and fired the ball into the net. It was all over.

It was disappointing for all Burchadingans, but then again, it was an expected result. The amount of fighting spirit the players gave, is definitely something to admire, and tomorrow we will face Unibot at home, a great opportunity to bag some points. But the question on everybody's mind is this; what happened to Klaus? Well, it seems he sprained his ankle during the warmup session, and although it's nothing serious, he won't be in goal for the match against Unibot, so Dietrich will get another chance to prove his skills. Our defeat however, leaves us lieing in fourth, after Unibot beat Aldoraan 1-0 and Calmerica massacred Soviet Massacre 5-1 (I love that joke, I know it's lame, but I like it). A win against Unibot is all that we need. Really.

I'll be at the Olympiastadion, with my camera and with my jersey. If you for one reason or another can't make it, then don't forget to tune in to either TV1, Sports World or The World Cup Channel CH901 to see Burchadinger vs Unibot live at 9:00 PM, and to see it in HD, tune in to Sports World X or TWCC CH951.

[Jeruselem]

Naked News Jeruselem's Sam Sallad and resident dumbo Sharnee Bellpepper

Sam: Hello, I'm Sam Sallad for Naked News Jeruselem. I'm following our national World Cup team. Today, we played some team from Crime and Criminality. With me is veteran Sharnee Bellpepper or Peppers as we call her.
Peppers: Hi
Sam: Well, a good start but not our best game.
Peppers: It's only our first game together.
Sam: So what do think of our opponent's effort today?
Peppers: They tried hard but didn't have the experience or skill.
Sam: We made a few errors today but we weren't punished for them.
Peppers: Well, there's a lot of new players in the team. Maybe they were nervious in the first game.
Sam: So an adequate effort by the team but not really one of our better games?
Peppers: It's early, Jeruselem are slow starters historically.
Sam: The scoreline isn't that reflective of the game.
Peppers: We could have scored more goals but we didn't finish well.
Sam: Was the opposition affected by the fact half our team are sexy females?
Peppers: Not really, they are like our Jeru FC. Maybe more surprise than us being girls.
Sam: Now, you've recently had a baby. Who's taking care of bubs while you're playing?
Peppers: Oh that, Mum. She's retired from work and has nothing to do.
Sam: Know who the Dad is?
Peppers: Not really, I've got the Dallas problem.
Sam: Single Mum then.
Peppers: Doesn't bother me, our family is bit like that.
Sam: You're near retirement age, what will you do for living when you retire.
Peppers: I don't know, I'm too stupid for most real jobs.
Sam: Good luck for the future
Peppers: Thanks Sam
Sam: Oh yes, and Jeru FC won their game 4-1. I'm sure they had a few beers to celebrate.
Peppers: Few?
Sam: Few beer kegs that is.

[Aguazul]

La Verdad

"Bring on conspiracy," Prado declares

The national football team was held to a draw with Eurentus, frustrating home fans and prompting calls for change even at the top level. "Hey, this isn't working for us," said Lucas Prado, of the football association. "We've got to shake things up, and if that means supporting a takilan conspiracy, well...So be it."

Aguazul fell behind early, conceding a goal from a left forward in the thirteenth minute. Rubén Saavedra tied things up, off an assist from Blas Pulido, and Juan Esteban Oraglio scored to give us a lead that looked safe. In the second half, though, another forward caught Sesmiro Marroquín out of position and capitalized to score, and neither team were able to break through in the remaining half hour. Aguazul, probably, stay on top of zone thirty.

"Yes, I know, we're only two matchdays in, but already you're seeing how erratic we've been performing," said Prado. "I mean, we crush Moresnet[ujo], then lose to Swartaz...that was an adventurous choice, signing up for the Publishers Cup, I mean...anyway, we beat Rennidan, they're supposed to be our closest competition. On the road, even, and now we can't even beat...

Look, all I want is for our skill and our offensive might to brutally crush anyone that dares to challenge us underfoot, without us getting upset!" Prado exclaimed. "Is that too much to ask?"

The team itself seems to think that it might be. "Honestly?" said Gerardo Riquelme. "All this talk of conspiracies sounds...unsportsmanlike, I don't think we want to be known for that." Pelayo Sortani, for his part, noted that "Signing up for the Publishers Cup was the right decision, I'd do it again, and we'll be fine," before announcing that the lineup for the upcoming match will, unsurprisingly, differ substantially from the lineup in this one.

[Cotdelapoms]

Blizzard Conditions Lead to White Out on Scoresheet

Snowy conditions came upon Montréal just in time for the Apples' qualifying fixture with unfashionable Lundlle and they made the match almost unwatchable. The Apples' offence, usually based upon a ground game and short passing, was forced into a disappointing bit of hoof-ball, and no goals were scored on either side. The seemingly nameless Lundlle side was not able to generate any offence either, creating a drab drab stalemate.

In more interesting news, Cotdelapomais winger Jesper Jensen has had a very exciting week, being formally named captain of the national team, one of Salut! Magazine's 50 most eligible bachelors and infosport.cdp's Cotdelapomais athlete of the year, edging out luminaries like lacrosse star Serge Charest-X'arc'H, Outremont Owl hockey star Pierre Drouin and alpine skiier Alexandre Pilotte. The vote was decided upon by a panel of Cotdelapomais sports media personalities.

[Valladares]

Valladares Sports Network

WORLD CUP 54 QUALIFYING ROUND - Valladares safe at top of Zone 15 with perfect performance

THE PRODIGAL SON RETURNS HOME

By: Alan Rosero,
Blogger from "The National Kickoff"

SLATEPORT (VP) - Alright. Valladares have got now two victories to sit at top of an apparently easy Zone 15, after their thrashing of Khytenna at the Estadio de la Riviera in Slateport. Although some people may think the 4-0 win meant a walk in the park for our Gones, I think we had to suffer more than expected (well, I acknowledge I'm being paranoid) to defeat the third seed in the group, whose defensive functioning and excellent game fell apart thanks to a foolish expulsion 20 minutes after the kickoff.

This match left some lessons to learn for both teams. Lesson number 1 for Valladares: don't let your rivals take the lead in the match. Khytenna managed to give Les Gones a hard time just because Valladares allowed them to play, and our strikers didn't press their defenders as they did against Arse of Asia. In 20 minutes, Khytenna enjoyed of at least three good goal options, but Luis Fuentes didn't allow the visitors to take the lead on the score. Lesson number 1 for Khytenna: never, NEVER commit fouls to valladar strikers in your own goal area. That was Khytenna's first mistake in the match: Shad Vancil was sent off, and although Jefferson Ospina was the man to take the penalty, he decided to give Miguel Flórez the chance to delight his former fans. And the Valengren Kickers player turned the penalty into a goal. The first of the match, and the beginning of the end for the visitors. Lesson number 2 for Valladares: take advantage of weather conditions and completely destroy your opponents as soon as possible. During the remainder of the first half, Les Gones "pardoned" Khytenna, and although they soon began to dominate the match, being helped by the numerical advantage, we had to wait until the 41st minute to celebrate another goal. This time, Jefferson Ospina inscribed his name on the scoreboard with his first goal in the match and fifth in this World Cup qualifiers. Lesson number 2 for Khytenna: don't let yourselves being cornered by the valladar offensive trio when you are at a disadvantage. After the infamous (for Khytenna) 20th minute, their magic disappeared. From persecutors, they became persecuted and from rulers to ruled. When teams are at a disadvantage, people expect from them to react and try to equalize, but our rivals didn't have a chance. Like the last time we faced them, Khytenna locked themselves in their area and our conterattacks turned to be lethal. Their lack of reaction worsened things for them. Next time, don't forget to attack us to have at least a chance. That doesn't mean you must leave your defense unprotected.

Khytenna came to the second half with the intention to come back, but they only had a chance during the final 45 minutes. Fontvielle Impact's player Yoan Gignac scored the third goal for the home team, killing every Khytennan hope to react. Les Gones had some interesting chances, but Tim Gatton saved his team from a worst humiliation. However, Miguel Flórez wanted to give his public another reason to celebrate, and scored the fourth goal in a counterattack which also involved Marinos player Paulo Oliveira. With the four-nil score, the match ended and Valladares confirmed themselves at the top of Zone 15 with 6 out of 6 points.

After this 4-0 win over Khytenna, Valladares prepares to make the first trip outside their country in this Zonal Stage, as their next match will be at Iglesian Archipelago, who come to this match after a draw against Ibasira. If Les Gones come back from the Archipelago with three points, that would be a giant step towards the Interzonal Phase, as Khytenna has a bye day and Ibasira and Arse of Asia have to play each other.

"Miguel wants to return to Slateport", Jean Román

After the match against Khytenna, Jean-Paul Román, who is Miguel Flórez's agent, stated that the player intends to return to Slateport Bulls, or else to another team in Valladares, after the delicate incident that peppered Queer Poco el Mono Ara's professional league, better known as the Una Serie de Futbol.

In an interview conceded by both the agent and the player at the end of the match in Slateport, Román said the player was unhappy with the match fixing rumours in the Pocoan League, and that he would talk to the Valengren Kickers board of directors about his future in the team.

"Recently, both Miguel and I found out that some figures in Pocoan football were pressing referees in favour of some important clubs in the nation, including Valengren. Let me say that both the player I represent and myself aren't happy at all with this, and we'd like to demand some explanation from a reliable source at Valengren, because this event is delicate and we consider this violates our professional ethics and Miguel's good name and honour. Therefore, we're considering to ask Valengren's directors to terminate the contract with them, as we wouldn't like the valladar player's reputation to be damaged by being involved in things like this".

Should Flórez, his agent, and Valengren Kickers' board reach an agreement, the player and his agent would start to analyze different offers, but the player has stated he would like to return to his beloved team in order to help them win their coveted first title.

PRE-QUAL: Valladares 5-0 Whirl Islands (Heritage Cup) - Venue: Frank Clair Stadium, Fauxham (Cap. 15,500)
PRE-QUAL: Valladares 2-1 Bears Armed - Venue: Dragon Stadium, Canalave (Cap. 35,000)
MSMT: Valladares 0-4 Eastfield Lodge - Venue: Mike Sarzo Stadium, Nicksia, Benatar, Sarzonia

MD1: Valladares 4-0 Arse of Asia - Venue: Stade Jules Picot, Bezieres (Cap. 38,000)
MD2: Valladares 4-0 Khytenna - Venue: Estadio de la Riviera, Slateport (Cap. 40,000)
MD3: Iglesian Archipelago vs. Valladares - Venue: TBC
MD4: Valladares vs. Ibasira - Venue: Stade de la Frontière, Fontvielle (Cap. 36,500)
MD5: BYE

MID-ZONAL: Valladares vs. Cotdelapoms - Venue: White Meadow Arena, Carloburgo (Cap. 69,070)

MD6: Arse of Asia vs. Valladares - Venue: TBC
MD7: Khytenna vs. Valladares - Venue: TBC
MD8: Valladares vs. Iglesian Archipelago - Venue: Estádio Armando Bozzelli, Campo Grande (Cap. 50,000)
MD9: Ibasira vs. Valladares - Venue: TBC
MD10: BYE

[Qazox]

The Road to One Big Island and World Cup 54

LUCKY.

Despie winning 1-0, Qazox was lucky to escape with not only a victory, but any points at all. 4 Daemonheart shots clanged off the crossbar or post. With 2 reserves starting on the backline, Coach Holtz decided to employ a rather defensive posture for the majority of the match. It worked, despite the 9 shots Daemonheart managed to get on net, as compared to the 6 for the Pheonix. In the 59th minute, Tanya Calvin worked through a 3-on-1 defensive front and slipped one home for the only goal of the match.

Now with their record even at 1-0-1; Qazox will face off against Sirain, who are also 1-0-1 after a loss to Cafundeu. The winner, if one, will at worst be in 2nd place in the group and have a slight avantage in the rematch in 5 weeks.

SCORELINE

DMH  0 0  0
QAZ  0 1  1

Scoring:
YC- Greg Johnson (QAZ)- 45+2'
Tanya Calvin (QZX)- 59'
YC- #10 (DMH) 66'

SCHEDULE:
MD1: @ Cafundeu L 0-4
MD2: v. Daemonheart @ Estadia Pika, Pika City. Capacity: 84,562 W 1-0
MD3: v. Sirain @ Ganja Vodka Stadium, Fromburg. Capacity: 94,500
MD4: BYE
MD5: @ Fellow Citizens
MD6: v. Cafundeu @ Qazian Memorial Stadium II, Qazox City. Capacity: 100,052
MD7: @ Daemonheart
MD8: @ Sirain
MD9: BYE
MD10: v. Fellow Citizens @ New Bruxen Hotel & Casino Field, New Bruxen. Capacity: 77,721

GASTON, Northland, Qazox

3 days later and after numerous Raktajinos, Toros Rojos, and 8 or 9 10-hour energy drinks; Kyle Cartman finally saw the end of the Project Janus upload. He began to sift through the 67 MegaQuads (ooc: one Quad= 1000 MegaBytes) of data looking for any files pertaining to himself, his wife or his daughter. Not too suprisingly, it only took a minute or two before the first file came up, The Pheonix Project.

'Shit. Someone accessed this file not too long ago' Kyle noticed. He began to run a recursive tracer to find out who exactly had accessed the personal files of his family. 'Dammit Dennis.' Kyle muttered as the search showed that just 10 hours before he receive the Project Janus files, his associate Dennis Halpberg, a former Qazoxian President; had copied all The Pheonix Project files.

"Dennis, I swear if you are doing what I think you are doing, I'm going to kill you" he said, before encrypting his computer and preparing for the worst when he barged into Halpberg's office.

(To be continued...)