NSCF 13 Everything Thread

[Cosumar]

The Daily Bruin
Stoneshore College's Student-Run Newspaper

Cast of new starters quell doubts in opening win versus Drawk Corps
By Mila Jordrök, Editor-in-Chief

CAPE DUTCH - After winning the NSCF 11 Championship, most of that great Bruins team came back last year for NSCF 12. But after an exodus of graduating seniors and CFL-declaring underclassmen over this offseason, many Stoneshore faithful were uncertain about what to expect in NSCF 13. The Bruins returned just one offensive skill-position starter from NSCF 12 in receiver Naevius Brooks. They also lost Toby Tancredi, the NSCF 12 Defensive Player Of The Year, as well as All-Cosumar defensive players Leumas Ren and Frampton Scott.

Some pundits even suggested it could be "the end of Stoneshore College's brief spell of relevance in NSCF", but head coach Walter Hufnagel never bought into the doom and gloom - and neither did his team.

It wasn't a perfect performance, but the Bruins defeated a physically enormous Drawk Corps University squad 22-6 with little difficulty. They looked like...well, they looked like typical Bruins. Tenacious defense and a gritty, clock-draining offense short on flair but high on discipline and relentlessness. While it may not have been pretty, with completely scoreless 2nd and 3rd quarters, winning the home opener in such familiar style should go a long way towards comforting the fears of Stoneshore fans.

The new names cast into starring roles in the Stoneshore offense took until the fourth quarter to really gel, but considering it was the unit's first experience in a real game situation, the three quarters of futility can be forgiven. Coach Hufnagel also reached a bit deeper into the depth chart than usual for contributions.

After a tense game that was stuck at 9-6 for ages the Bruins, led by the big arm of Ash Solomon, took over in the fourth quarter - holding the ball for 11 minutes and outgaining the Drawkian school 141-16 for 13 points. As much as the new starting QB came alive in that final frame, it was second-string dual-threat quarterback Curtis Chimney who threw the game-sealing touchdown on a run-fake. It was his only completion of the game. Similarly, complimentary runner Tash Walraven scored Stoneshore's other touchdown despite running for only 8 additional yards on the game. Starting tandem Solomon and Alan Aardalen will have to wait until next week for their first NSCF touchdowns.

The Stoneshore defense was caught off-guard by Drawk Corps' huge offensive line and up-tempo style, giving up a touchdown on the first drive of the game. Matthew Ura bulldozed defenders over the goal-line and DCU back Bennett Morgan followed him in with ease. But after Kamil Yeoman blocked Asher Goode's extra point for it to be returned by Sveinn Sneijder, the Bruins' D got their mojo back and held the Drawkish team scoreless for the rest of the game. Four different members of the Stoneshore secondary were able to pick off Lennox Way.

Next week, Stoneshore College (1-0) travel to the capital to take on domestic rivals Ramusok Capital University (1-0) at Capital Coliseum. Despite only being the second matchday, this historically bitter game will be important in shaping up the Horizon Conference. The rise of South Seas University as a major power has put even more pressure on both teams, with only one of them likely to make the playoffs now. The days where RCU and Stoneshore could coast to the playoffs as a 1-2 combination are seemingly behind us. After Week 2, one of the Cosumarite schools will have the upper hand for the rest of the season and the other will be left with an uphill battle.

The Bruins would like nothing more than to bump longtime tormentor RCU out of the postseason for just the second time ever -- in consecutive years.

Box Score	1	2	3	4	F
#3 Stoneshore College	9	0	0	13	22
Drawk Corps University	6	0	0	0	6

Scoring Summary

1ST (6:22) - DRK TD - B. Morgan 2 yard run [6-0 DRK]
1ST (6:22) - DRK extra point blocked and returned for 2-point defensive conversion by S. Sneijder [6-2 DRK]
1ST (0:51) - SSC TD - T. Walraven 21 yard run [9-6 SSC]
4TH (12:59) - SSC FG - K. Solloway 26 yard kick [12-6 SSC]
4TH (7:12) - SSC FG - K. Solloway 38 yard kick [15-6 SSC]
4TH (0:46) - SSC TD - C. Chimney 13 yard pass to C. Stind [22-6 SSC]

SSC Offense Leaders
QB Ash Solomon - 19/24 for 184 yards
RB Alan Aardalen - 21 carries for 77 yards
RB Tash Walraven - 10 carries for 29 yards, TD
WR Naevius Brooks - 12 rec. for 141 yards

SSC Defense Leaders
CB Sveinn Sneijder - 3 tackles, blocked kick TD
SS Elton Van Nifterick - 6 tackles, INT
FS Levi Zimmerman - 4 tackles, 5 deflections, INT

SSC and DRK Comparison
SSC: 313 total yards, 14 first downs
DRK: 262 total yards, 17 first downs

SSC: 0 Turnovers
DRK: 4 Turnovers (4 INT)

SSC: 9 penalties for 74 yards
DRK: 10 penalties for 85 yards

[Valanora]

Valanora Times
Universities Alive

There had been much consternation among the VSC about the thirteenth NSCF season and if Valanora was going to continue to take part in the event. The first two seasons of participation had produced mixed results for the Vanorian contingents, with Mar Sara Tech making the playoffs in their inaugural season, while Tech slumped to a poor sophmore season in which they were expected to win the conference and handily at that. For Raynor University, it was an odd season, as they too faced an OOC shutout from their fellow establishments but were still able to produce just enough good results to be given a berth into the newcomer bowl. Regardless of that minor boon, it was seen as a disaster of return for the two schools and many believed that the VSC was going to withdraw the funding for continued precipitation.

However a month before the NSCF was set to begin, a conference between the Atlantian trio of Valanora, Quebec, and Cosumar saw the VSC be convinced of the merits of continued participation in the establishment. Quickly assembling a pair of out of conference games each, the two schools began two adays and awaited conference play as they once more found themselves looking at contending in the Mineral Conference. With the lack of some of the usual powers in the season, both schools believed that a few good results could see their team into playoff contention.

That belief was given a major boost as both schools provided thorough demolishing of their opponents to open the season and in front of their home crowds to boot. Tech was able to get into the defensive zone earlier as a pick by senior corner Revwë Laralrin on Levivania's opening drive set the tone of the game. As Baracaeon Roloviel and the offense took advantage of the short field, marching the forty-three yards into the endzone with Aladir Isilimirsyr finishing the drive with an eight yard catch on an inside slant. The defense continued to shut Levivania down for the rest of the game, with Rhassthanil Ealoviel being featured quite a bit for the Raiders ending the game with 132 yards rushing and a touch in the middle of the third quarter to put the Raiders up 20 to nil, which the game would finish at.

In the capital however, there was a display of offensive power as Îdhton Tinuelon lit up Curumba for four touchdowns through the air and another on a twelve yard keeper. The surprise of the game came on Curumba's first drive of the second half, trailing 21-7, they tried to do a reverse from their own five. Erutáwë Lartandal however was not fooled by the trickery and maintained his pursuit gap, taking down the reciever in the endzone, giving the side a safety. Unfortunately those two points would be given right back as a pair of holding penalties had put Raynor back on their own 1 and the Curumba defense was able to take down Merithonon Lasstadal, who was clearly not comfortable trying to run it out of his own endzone. However with over five hundred total yards on the offense, the team is sure to be feeling good about themselves regardless of the safety, as both they and the Raiders look forward to week 2 and showing the VSC that their funding was not misplaced.

[Valanora]

Matchday 2

Celestia Conference
Vietussia Academy (UNV) 27–6 Alderasca College (NUD)
Sushington National University (SSH) 0–23 Loyola University (BNJ)
Kanza University (USD) 3–14 Northern Moravica University (BNJ)

P Celestia Conference                      Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Loyola University                          2    2   0    26    0  +26     0
2 Northern Moravica University               2    2   0    27    3  +24     0
3 Vietussia Academy                          2    1   1    44   28  +16     0
4 Kanza University                           2    1   1    25   31   −6     0
5 Alderasca College                          2    0   2     6   30  −24     0
6 Sushington National University             2    0   2     0   36  −36     0

Woodlands Conference
University of Damushuto (DKI) 9–10 Hampden College (QUE)
University of Iqaluit (QUE) 0–27 Utica University (OSR)
Universite St. Croix (QUE) 53–17 Palæontological-Centered Research (NTN)

P Woodlands Conference                     Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Universite St. Croix                       2    2   0    92   24  +68     0
2 Utica University                           2    2   0    60    0  +60     0
3 Palæontological-Centered Research          2    1   1    40   53  −13     0
4 Hampden College                            2    1   1    10   42  −32     0
5 University of Damushuto                    2    0   2    16   49  −33     0
6 University of Iqaluit                      2    0   2     0   50  −50     0

[Cosumar]

Mineral Conference - Matchday 2

St. Peters College 26–3 University of Curumba
Levivania Royal University 10–35 Raynor University
Conquerer's Academy 9–10 Mar Sara Tech

 Mineral Conference          Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Raynor University             2    2   0    72   19  +53     6
2 Mar Sara Tech                 2    2   0    30    9  +21     6
3 St. Peters College            2    1   1    29   12  +17     3
4 Conquerer's Academy           2    1   1    18   13   +5     3
5 Levivania Royal University    2    0   2    10   55  −45     0
6 University of Curumba         2    0   2    12   63  −51     0

[The Royal Kingdom of Quebec]

MD2 Results for Horizon and Zephyr Conferences

Horizon Conference
Drawk Corp University 14–7 Galturin State University
Saint Petyr Rangers 7–40 South Seas University
Ramusok Capital University 17–13 Stoneshore College

Pld    W   L    GF   GA   GD 
1 Ramusok Capital University    2    2   0    64   13  +51
2 South Seas University         2    2   0    53    7  +46
3 Stoneshore College            2    1   1    35   23  +12
4 Drawk Corp University         2    1   1    20   29   −9
5 Galturin State University     2    0   2     7   27  −20
6 Saint Petyr Rangers           2    0   2     7   87  −80

Zephyr Conference
Institute of Higher Learning and Technology 0–22 University of Heavenly Snakes
Bastille Tech 7–25 Karl Marx University
Ceneisis Naval Academy 3–7 Thereisnogodistan Community College

Pld    W   L    GF   GA   GD 
1 Karl Marx University                           2    2   0    32   10  +22
2 Thereisnogodistan Community College            2    2   0    26   13  +13
3 University of Heavenly Snakes                  2    1   1    25    7  +18
4 Ceneisis Naval Academy                         2    1   1    25    7  +18
5 Bastille Tech                                  2    0   2    17   44  −27
6 Institute of Higher Learning and Technology    2    0   2     0   44  −44

[Drawkland]

DRAWKLAND NATIONAL SPORTS NETWORK

By Jon Bradley

It's been 2 weeks of the NSCF, and the Drawk Corps is breaking even in the Horizon conference.

After a disaster in Week 1 (losing 6-22 to Stoneshore College of Cosumar), they made a comeback, beating Galturin State of Kaboomlandia 14-7 in an even-scored game (all TD's with successful PAT's).

So they're 1-1, and that's just on the international scale. The team still has their hands full with the Drawkian Collegiate Sports Association college football games. Luckily, they've stayed rather ahead on those, hitting a good 3-1 to start the year off.

So what's in the future for Drawk Corps in the NSCF? Next they face the very skilled South Seas University of Costa Aluria. Their team is not only undefeated, but have only allowed one TD in both of their games. Next up is the Saint Petyr Rangers, who're currently winless and have only scored 1 TD in games. After that is the other Cosumarite college in the Horizon Conference, Ramusok Capital University, which is also currently undefeated, and #1 in the conference due to the fact they've scored 64 points in 2 games. After that it's the same schedule, but with the home-away swapped.

The beloved Corps of Drawkland is going to have a tough few months ahead of them coming up. Not only that, but they'll also have to keep up with the Drawkian side of things as well (which has proved a challenge for DCSA schedulers). All in all, a fatiguing season for the Corps. But we know they can do it, because they are Drawkians, and we are all strong. We can all go the distance.

[Banija]

Herzegovina City Post

Northern Moravica are the overwhelming favorites to win the Celestia Conference


Two Northern Moravica players celebrate touchdown against Kanza University

HERZEGOVINA CITY- Northern Moravica came into the season as the defending champions of the Celestia conference, and as the early favorites to repeat. Their main competitors for the conference title last season did not return to the NSCF, so it left Northern Moravica, going from bright-eyed newcomer to conference champions last season, as the class of the Celestia Conference. The powerbase of the conference had been shifted away from a place like Saintland, and had been shifted directly to Herzegovina City, where Horace Browning and his boys are looking to improve upon their conference championship last season, and turn it into bringing home the NSCF trophy back to Northern.

Northern was going to have to deal with pressure this season that they did not have to face last season. They kept their scheduling philosophy, with scheduling another brutal nonconference schedule, playing both Utica and Stoneshore College. However, this season instead of sneaking up on teams, they will have a target on their back. Every single school within the Celestia Conference knows that Northern Moravica is the team to beat, and they will be gunning for the Cougars.

Horace Browning told us that there is a very different mindset entering a season when you enter as such overwhelming favorites. "It is easy to get your team motivated when you are the underdogs. Everybody's rooting for you, and you have nothing to lose. When your expectations are at the floor, there is nobody to disappoint if you do poorly. Almost every victory last season was somewhat of a surprise, and winning the conference championship was fun for this school, and this great city. Getting your team motivated as favorites, however, is a much tougher task. Everybody's going to give us their best game. We will get much more respect, but we will get everybody's best shot. That's why it is much harder to stay on top than it is to get on top, but we intend to do that heavy lifting to stay on top."

Athletic Director Pelias Patras is seen as the visionary behind this school's sports programs. In just his 3rd season, before he has hit the age of 40, he is already being hailed as the best athletic director in the history of Banijan sports. He was able to convince people that his team not only should be allowed to play abroad, but that his teams would be able to compete with the best of the best straight out of the gate. He had full faith in the program, and now they have record revenues for any school in Banija. They have so many fans, and he is great at engaging the alumni fanbase.

He told us, with a lot of pride, that he had supreme confidence in his team to go all the way this year. "Last year, we will able to surprise a lot of people by winning the conference and making it to the playoff. I think the sport of football in general grew a lot by our participation in the NSCF. We've opened a lot of doors for the sport, and that is why it will pass soccer as Banija's #1 most followed sport.

Everybody in the country rallied around Northern Moravica, and now our great rivalry with Loyola-Istria will continue on the international stage. We will, once again, be competing for the title of best team in Banija, but also the best team in the world. Our players got a great experience representing our country in the World Bowl, and to be completely honest, I believe that this team is better than last year's team. While last year's team were true pioneers for the sport and the country, this year's team is going to be able to truly compete for a championship."

The Athletic Director says that, and he is confident for a reason. They are the only team ranked in the Top 10 in the Celestia Conference, ranked as #6 in the entire NSCF. But he is truly confident because of their defense. They opened last season with 3 straight shutouts, and they look to be continuing that form this season, only allowing 3 point in their first two games.

Ultimately, if the defense continues to perform and do their job well, they should not be stopped in their request to repeat as Celestia Conference Champions, and they should be able to reach at least the semifinals of the playoff. The true test, they say, will not be in conference play, where they'll be favorites in their 8 remaining games, but the brutal non-conference slate they must play. They must play Utica, who is currently ranked #2 in the world, as well as host Stoneshore College, a team that walloped Northern Moravica last season.

Ultimately, we believe here that our local team, Northern Moravica, will not struggle to win their 2nd straight conference title, though our rivals to the South might beg to differ. It seems as if all eyes will be on their much-heated rivalry game in 2 weeks, when Loyola-Istria make their first trip as a member of the NSCF to Herzegovina City, which will decide who will pull ahead of the other in the conference title race, at least for the first half of the season.

[Banija]

Istria Times

Loyola aims to be the Cinderella story of the NSCF


Tight End Christos Cosse catches a touchdown against Sushington National University

ISTRIA- Loyola University @ Istria is a very historic, and very proud, University. It is a religious school in Banija, and in the very heavily Mormon nation, it's sports programs have a very large following. When Pelias Patras, the Athletic Director for Northern Moravica, brought forward the idea of bringing Northern Moravica to the NSCF, Loyola knew that it had to follow. Following would give the impression that they were followers of Northern Moravica, yes, but the alternative was far worse. Banijans across the country were shedding their Blue Thunder clothing for the purple of the Cougars, and that was unacceptable for Loyola.

Even though Loyola is seen as a very conservative place, one not very open to change, Patrick Zervos, the Athletic Director, knew that he had to get his team to the NSCF as quickly as possible. Last season, when Northern Moravica was in the NSCF, it was clear that Loyola was the class of the remaining teams in Banija. They went undefeated and easily won a national championship, with their closest game being a 17 point victory in week 1. It was clear that their future was abroad, and with kickbacks of NSCF related revenue going back to Banija, it was best for everybody involved that Banijan college football get competitive again, and that they develop their best talent by playing the best not only in the country, but in the world.

Even though it seemed the obvious decision, this was a very tight vote by the Board of Governors. There was much debate, but ultimately, a 7-4 vote allowed them to move forward. There were vocal elements of the alumni base of the school, including the Leader of the Opposition himself, that were opposed to the move. They were saying that Loyola is a national university, and that the brand is best at home. However, they did make the move, and boy, through 2 games, had it paid off big time.

Many were unsure of what Loyola could bring to the table in their chase to catch up with, and stay matched to their rivals to the North. They saw that Northern Moravica was able to compete right away, and some expected them to be able to compete right away as well. However, there was significant differences. Loyola is starting a true freshman quarterback who is related to the athletic director himself, while Kovach is a senior, a 3rd year stater who played at the World Bowl.

Loyola has more than held their own, however, in the Celestia Conference. They had a very ugly 3-0 victory to start the season at home, as the defensive slugfest was decided on a 49 yarder in the 2nd quarter that ended up being the difference. Neither side was able to break the game open, even though both defenses forced 3 turnovers.

Loyola played a much better overall game against Sushington National University, and were rewarded with a 23-0 victory. Their defense pitched their second straight shutout, including getting a safety, and their offense was rolling, scoring 3 first half touchdowns against their opponents to quickly put them away. This team is the antithesis of Northern Moravica- they throw the ball instead of run, and are not known for their stout defense, though they have had one in their first two games of the season.

While Northern Moravica is a proven product, Loyola still needs to prove that they are the real deal. They will have a chance in their next two games. They will face Kanza University, who many people think can challenge Northern Moravica for conference supremacy, and then they will make the trek North to face their hated rivals, Northern Moravica. They know, however, not to look ahead to that game- they need to focus on the task at hand, which is defeating Kanza. If they want to win the conference, they need to be focused on this game, and many experts deem this matchup to be a tossup.

Ultimately, we look for Loyola to defeat Kanza, to set up what should be a hard-fought, fantastic matchup with their archrivals to the North. Kanza is a team that can fight, winning in fantastic comeback fashion against Vietussia, beating them on a Hail Mary in week 1. That means Loyola needs to be on constant vigilance the entire game, but many believe that they will be able to do that, and pull off a victory, and maintain their first place position, which they hold ahead of Northern right now due to point differential.

[United Vietussia]

UV-7 NEWS, HANKOW, UNITED VIETUSSIA

United Vietussia- After an easy 27-6 victory for the Vulcans, the Fuel Arc poll was released. It is as followed.

1. Universite St. Croix (2-0)
2. South Seas University (2-0)
3. Utica University (2-0)
4. Ramusok Capital University (2-0)
5. Raynor University (2-0)
6. Karl Marx University (2-0)
7. Loyola University (2-0)
8. Northern Moravica University (2-0)
9. Mar Sara Tech (2-0)
10. Thereisnogodistan Community College (2-0)
11. University of Heavenly Snakes (1-1)
12. St. Peter's College (1-1)
13. Vietussia Academy (1-1)
14. Stoneshore College (1-1)
15. Conquerer's Academy (1-1)

(all polls conducted were made by independent groups and do NOT reflect actual NSCF rankings)

Vietussia has made its way into 13th after a dominating 27-6 victory over now 0-2 Alderasca College. Vietussia is sneaking its way as a new team into a possible playoff hunt oppourtunity.

"It's really great to see my guys finally turn it around after such a heart-wrenching loss on the road," head coach Xavier Nogueras, former coach of the 8-0 Gaelic Football championship team, says. "Really fun to get to finally see all of these beautiful fans in person. I could only imagine what it would be like without them."

Vietussia held a 17-6 lead at the half, then holding Alderasca scoreless in the 2nd half and getting a touchdown and a field goal to win 27-6. Vietussia is obviously looking for their chance to play Cinderella after coming up from Division II College Football, losing in the championship for 5 straight years.

That's all the time we have for tonight. We hope to see you tomorrow night for the Vulcans game on the road against #8 Northern Moravica. Until then, good night Vietussia.

-theme music ensues-

[Costa Aluria]

---

Inside, Outside, Over, Around, Through: Honu Run Away From Saint Petyr
Story by Abraham Shepherd

Estenian Union—The South Seas University Honu answered a number of critics with a 40-7 trouncing of Saint Petyr Rangers on Saturday. The Honu had been the (deserving) recipients of much criticism after a week one match at Galturin State left a lot to be desired for South Seas fans. In the week one tilt, the Honu appeared dead to rights as they could not move the ball, winning the game on defense and surprise plays.

The script could not have differed any more juxtapositionally in the Estenian Union. South Seas University rushed for a team record 520 yards and did not attempt a single pass in the rout over Saint Petyr. The Honu were able to employ all of their runningbacks, quarterback Ezra Talbot, and a handful of other players as they averaged a stout eight yards per rush. With the win, South Seas University improved to 2-0 on the season and continued to hold the pole position in the Cosumarite Courier rankings.

As the contest began, it appeared the Honu might follow a similar gameplan as they have done in games past, using the running game to open up deep gashing passes down the field. But this was not the case. Working in a complete running tandem, Talbot repeatedly gave the ball to younger brother Jonas Talbot, Ezekiel Pentecost, Sterling Sparrow, Brigham Cooke, and Jaelen Ward. With the uptempo offensive unit on the field, the rotation of backs proved to be nauseating to the Saint Petyr defense.

The game could be summarized in one word: overwhelming. The electric backs might have had all of the stats, but they certainly owe much of their success to the Honu offensive line and other skill positions for plowing clear running lanes on nearly every offensive snap. Whether the run went left, right, up the middle, or some other variation, the message was clear: the Honu planned to overwhelm Saint Petyr, jamming the ball down their throats despite everybody in the stadium knowing what was coming next.

Asked after the game about the run-first, run-often, run-only strategy, Coach Goose Carneghy remarked, “Hey, that was one hell of a game. We really felt that Galturin State got us good last week. They had clearly done their film study and gave us fits. You guys in the media noted all last year that we could only win by giving teams something they didn’t expect, and you better be damn sure we heard that this week as well. So, you know, we kind of went into it with that mentality. We wanted to give Saint Petyr something that they weren’t expecting. It’s ridiculous, really. We have the most outstanding player in the NSCF in Ezra [Talbot], but all we keep hearing is that we only win because of the unexpected. Well, I don’t think anybody expected us to self-neutralize Ezra and still come out with a 33 point margin of victory. You all were so excited about what the next wrinkle might be; well, there it is.”

While Carneghy might have minimized some of the players in the game, he certainly did not minimize the game in the players. In classic South Seas style, Carneghy still managed to dial up a little razzle dazzle to keep Saint Petyr on their heels. On a second quarter play, Ezra Talbot took the snap and sprinted right, only to handoff to wide receiver Satchel King on a reverse. With the defense now out of position, King, still in the backfield, pushed the ball into the arms of crossing freshman Laird Prefontaine for the double reverse. Talbot himself set the key block as Prefontaine outran everybody else on the field for a 40 yard touchdown.

Despite whatever message Carneghy was hoping to send, the fact remains that Saint Petyr has been one of the least impressive teams in the NSCF this season. The 33 point deficit at the end of the game is actually two touchdowns more competitive than Saint Petyr’s first game, which came at the hands of Ramusok Capital University. And despite the message that Carneghy hoped to send, the fact remains that the media may continue to be skeptical of whether the Honu are deserving of the number one ranking.

Carneghy perhaps gave away some of his feelings on the subject, acknowledging that he would have liked a larger margin of victory. “You know, the thing I am most disappointed with is that touchdown we gave up in the third quarter. We let that drive slip through our hands and could have had the shutout. Don’t get me wrong--[defensive coordinator] Samson’s [Fisafua] got a great squad out there, and is doing some amazing work. But I’m hungry to get some more zeros in that ‘points against’ column.”

What new wrinkle will Carneghy employ next? Nobody knows, and that is perhaps the greatest advantage that the Honu might have moving forward. Carneghy certainly has everybody captivated, in that gawking at a train wreck sort of fashion. Perhaps the South Seas head football coach is the greatest romantic we could ask for; after all, we keep asking for dates, and he responds with, “What would you like to see?”

And we, in familiar fashion, always reply with, “Surprise me.”

The surprises are certain to continue in week three with the home opener against Drawk Corps University. Stay tuned.

---

Box Score	1	2	3	4	OT	F
South Seas University	8	15	7	10	N/A	40
Saint Petyr Rangers	0	0	7	0	N/A	7

Scoring summary:
1st Qtr, 8:28 (SSU) Ezekiel Pentecost 7 yard run (2 point conversion, Sterling Sparrow run) [SSU 8-SPR 0]
2nd Qtr, 12:05 (SSU) Laird Prefontaine 40 yard run (2 point conversion, Brigham Cooke run) [SSU 16-SPR 0]
2nd Qtr, 4:55 (SSU) Jonas Talbot 12 yard run (Ranger Cisterns XP) [SSU 23-SPR 0]
3rd Qtr, 10:40 (SSU) Sterling Sparrow 3 yard run (Ranger Cisterns XP) [SSU 30-GSU 0]
3rd Qtr, 3:36 (SPR) Alton Fairway 14 yard pass to Atlanta Martin (Saint Petyr XP) [SSU 30-SPR 7]
4th Qtr, 14:50 (SSU) Jaelen Bush 4 yard run (Ranger Cisterns XP) [SSU 37-SPR 7]
4th Qtr, 11:09 (SSU) Ranger Cisterns 28 yard field goal [SSU 40-SPR 7]

---

[Valanora]

Matchday 3

Celestia Conference
Northern Moravica University (BNJ) 6–15 Vietussia Academy (UNV)
Loyola University (BNJ) 20–0 Kanza University (USD)
Alderasca College (NUD) 14–0 Sushington National University (SSH)

P Celestia Conference                      Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Loyola University                          3    3   0    46    0  +46     0
2 Vietussia Academy                          3    2   1    59   34  +25     0
3 Northern Moravica University               3    2   1    33   18  +15     0
4 Alderasca College                          3    1   2    20   30  −10     0
5 Kanza University                           3    1   2    25   51  −26     0
6 Sushington National University             3    0   3     0   50  −50     0

Woodlands Conference
Palæontological-Centered Research (NTN) 45–0 University of Damushuto (DKI)
Utica University (OSR) 14–7 Universite St. Croix (QUE)
Hampden College (QUE) 23–7 University of Iqaluit (QUE)

P Woodlands Conference                     Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Utica University                           3    3   0    74    7  +67     0
2 Universite St. Croix                       3    2   1    99   38  +61     0
3 Palæontological-Centered Research          3    2   1    85   53  +32     0
4 Hampden College                            3    2   1    33   49  −16     0
5 University of Iqaluit                      3    0   3     7   73  −66     0
6 University of Damushuto                    3    0   3    16   94  −78     0

[Cosumar]

Mineral Conference - Matchday 3

Mar Sara Tech 19–3 St. Peters College
Raynor University 10–31 Conquerer's Academy
University of Curumba 20–16 Levivania Royal University

Mineral Conference          Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Mar Sara Tech                 3    3   0    49   12  +37     9
2 Raynor University             3    2   1    82   50  +32     6
3 Conquerer's Academy           3    2   1    49   23  +26     6
4 St. Peters College            3    1   2    32   31   +1     3
5 University of Curumba         3    1   2    32   79  −47     3
6 Levivania Royal University    3    0   3    26   75  −49     0

[The Royal Kingdom of Quebec]

Horizon and Zephyr Conferences - Matchday 3 Results

Horizon Conference
Stoneshore College 24–0 Saint Petyr Rangers
Galturin State University 9–38 Ramusok Capital University
South Seas University 37–10 Drawk Corp University

Pld    W   L    GF   GA   GD 
1 South Seas University         3    3   0    93   14  +79
2 Ramusok Capital University    3    3   0    81   26  +55
3 Drawk Corp University         3    2   1    34   36   −2
4 Stoneshore College            3    1   2    48   40   +8
5 Galturin State University     3    0   3    14   41  −27
6 Saint Petyr Rangers           3    0   3    14  127 −113

Zephyr Conference
Thereisnogodistan Community College 35–10 Institute of Higher Learning and Technology
Karl Marx University 7–13 Ceneisis Naval Academy
University of Heavenly Snakes 32–10 Bastille Tech

Pld    W   L    GF   GA   GD 
1 Thereisnogodistan Community College            3    3   0    61   23  +38
2 Ceneisis Naval Academy                         3    2   1    38   14  +24
3 Karl Marx University                           3    2   1    39   23  +16
4 University of Heavenly Snakes                  3    2   1    57   17  +40
5 Bastille Tech                                  3    0   3    27   76  −49
6 Institute of Higher Learning and Technology    3    0   3    10   79  −69

[United Vietussia]

NORTHERN MORAVICA FALLS TO THE VULCANS

United Vietussia- Welcome to this special report straight from the college football game for the Vulcans. Vietussia Academy upset #6 Northern Moravica 15-6 tonight after falling behind 6-0 heading into the fourth quarter. Vietussia scored a touchdown seconds into the quarter, then scored a two point conversion.

Northern Moravica then had a huge chance to perhaps seal the game, but QB Enok Rye threw an interception intended to get into the hands of WR Max Peerenboom, but was picked off by CB Villarereal Ruben. The ball was returned only 20 yards for Vietussia to get the score.

After a few stops by Moravica, Vietussia was stuck with a 3rd and 7 with 3:32 to go.

"Shane back in the shotgun, snaps, fake hand off to Mark, rolling right, blitz, FUMBLE! Recovered by Shane! He's running down the right side! Perfect blocks! Nobody is there! TOUCHDOWN! VIETUSSIA! And it's now 14-6! Extra point is good, and the fans are on their feet! 15-6 Vietussia lead! Moravica will need a miracle now!"

That miracle did not come, and the score held at 15-6. This result boosts Vietussia into the second spot in the conference, and the current playoff picture looks like this:

(1) South Seas University
vs.
(8) Vietussia Academy (at-large bid)

(4) Thereisnogodistan Communtity College
vs.
(5) Mar Sara Tech

(3) Loyola University
vs.
(6) Universite St. Croix (top OSPI)

(2) Utica University
vs.
(7) Ramusok (at-large bid)

Hope to see you around for MD4, good niiiiight Vietussia!

[Banija]

Herzegovina City Post

Northern Moravica are the overwhelming favorites to win the Celestia Conference


Head Coach Horace Browning looks at the scoreboard as the last seconds tick off the clock

HERZEGOVINA CITY- After taking a slight, but still tall, 6-0 lead into the 4th quarter, Northern Moravica fell apart and got dominated in the 4th quarter by the newcomers, and the Vietussia Academy Vulcans got the massive upset over Northern Moravica, defeating them 15-6 on their home field to hand them their first loss of the season. The whole Northern offense struggled throughout the game, only putting two long first half field goals on the game, and turning the ball over on their only red zone possession. They failed to put the game away when they had the chance, and the Vulcans made them pay dearly in the 4th quarter.

The first half was a defensive struggle. Northern Moravica, with the aid of a 1st down 35 yard passing play to Vena Resnick, was able to get a 49 yard field goal by Nard Holling to open the game, but other than that, the first half was a defensive slugfest. Neither team threatened to score on defense or special teams, and they went into halftime with Northern Moravica having a slight 3-0 lead. It was clear then, on the field. Everybody was wrong on a team like Kanza University threatening Banijan dominance in the Celestia Conference. It would be Vietussia Academy, as they were playing with Northern Moravica the whole way. Northern, a team that had a fantastic experience going 4-2 at the World Bowl competing for their country, couldn't even escape from these newcomers.

The third quarter was more of the same as the 1st quarter. This time, it was a punt return that put Banija in scoring position, and a 47 yard field goal by Nard Holling made the game 6-0. As they all say, there is no such thing as a safe one possession lead, as a touchdown would mean they would have the go-ahead score, but still, Northern was in the lead, and that was something fans could live with. It was clear from the get-go that this game was going to be a struggle, and the crowd tried to get into it on every defensive possession, so that they could keep the Vulcans off of the scoreboard. Unfortunately, that was not going to be the case.

When the 4th quarter started, the Vulcans got into a groove, and were able to move ahead in the game by virtue of a defensive touchdown. Slawomir Kovach faced a 2nd & 11 from his own 6 yard line. Vietussia Academy dialed up the blitz, and as they got to the quarterback, he threw an errant pass towards the sideline that was intercepted by Vietussia cornerback Villarereal Ruben, who returned the ball 20 yards to the end zone to tie the game at 6. They made a bold decision to go for 2, and they converted, with Shane Wolf keeping the ball on an option run and reaching the end zone to give his team an 8-6 lead. Northern fans, of course, were shocked.

Both teams were trading defensive stops now, with Vietussia Academy holding an 8-6 lead over the defending Celestia Conference champions. With 3:32 left, Vietussia Academy had a 3 & 7. The Northern fans were on their feet, and they were ready to see yet another stop by their defense. Then, a very strange play happened. They did a play action naked bootleg to the right hand side, and senior defensive end Momir Litvinov dove in and knocked the ball as Shane Wolf tried to throw the football. However, he was only able to get the ball, and did not knock down the quarterback. Shane Wolf instinctively picked up the ball and started running down the sideline, and was not stopped until he reached the end zone. One PAT later, and Northern was down by 9.

The wind was knocked out of Northern Moravica then, and the game was lost, with the final score staying 15-6. Vietussia Academy's team ran onto the field and celebrated, while the small band of away fans were partying in their corner of the stadium. A shocked Mugisha II Memorial Stadium slowly poured out of the exits. This team has to get over this loss quickly, as their archrivals will be making a visit in just one week's time, as the undisputed leaders in the Celestia Conference just 3 games into the season. Ultimately, we'll see how Northern Moravica can respond to this defeat with their match against their archrivals upcoming.

[Banija]

The All-Banija Sports Magazine
The only nationwide publication that is all sports, all the time!

Special Edition: The Story of the Northern Moravica vs. Loyola Rivalry that divides Banija


Logo for the "North vs. South Smackdown"- One of Many Nicknames for the Northern Moravica vs. Loyola Rivalry

HERZEGOVINA CITY- This rivalry has been seen easily as the most heated rivalry within Banijan college football for a very long time. With the rivalry elevated now to the NSCF, at a higher standard of competition, and the realization that they will play twice a year instead of once a year, the rivalry has been escalated to new levels. These two teams, once at the Northern edge of the region in a much more rural area, and the other in the nation's largest city, right at the Southern shore of Moravica, have battled for regional, and later, national supremacy 67 times, including playing each other 55 years in a row, which was ended when Northern moved to the NSCF last season and they could not fit on each other's schedule anymore. Here, we'll examine the elements of this rivalry, and why it has grown to this level, in time for its first edition as members of the Celestia Conference.

Geography

Geography is a major part of this. While there are traditionally 4 major college football teams out of this region, those being Northern Moravica, Loyola, Moravica A&M, and Langsley-City, it has always been clear that Northern Moravica and Loyola were the class of the region. They battled for regional dominance in this football-crazed region, and it was built upon the fact that Northern was a rural University, while Loyola was located in the heart of Banija's largest city, Istria. Just 122 miles apart, the region is a hotbed for the rivalry, with each person of the region wearing purple or wearing blue.

Public vs. Mormon

Another issue for these schools was the issue of public and Mormon schools. As all of our domestic readers know, Banija is a heavily Mormon nation, with well over 85% of the population identifying as members of the nation's official religion. As conflicts grew between a secular and a religious state, this rivalry only grew as the nation's largest public University, Northern Moravica, rose in stature against the nation's largest private and largest religious University, Loyola. Loyola has fiercely guarded its independence against government control, saying that even though Mormonism is backed by the state, they do not want to risk being involved any potential secular takeover of government and risk their Mormon character. Everytime these schools play, the issue of public and private universities is brought up on the landscape.

Championships

Ultimately, rivalries are bred most by competing when the stakes are high, and they have done plenty of that, especially over the last 20 years. In the previous 20 years before Northern left for the NSCF, the teams combined for 14 of the previous 20 national championships, including winning the previous 6. It was clear that there was a gap in talent between the rest of the country and Northern & Loyola. They were clearly on another level, and their season-ending rivalry game was seen as a de facto national championship game. With the games becoming more high stakes, the game has gotten heated between the two schools.

History


The Caribou Antlers, awarded to the winner of the Loyola-Northern Moravica game.

Ultimately, the lifeblood of any rivalry game has to be the history between the two teams, and boy, do Northern and Loyola have history. They have played each other 67 times, with Northern leading 35-30-2 in the rivalry game. They played each other once 55 seasons in a row at home, and last year was the first time they didn't play each other since the establishment of football at Loyola. With the great history between the teams, and the Caribou Antlers as the trophy given to the winner of this rivalry, which is always on the line when these teams meet. These teams have no love lost between them, and even the Loyola coach said that it is always a top priority of this team to 'outperform Northern on the football field, especially when we play them'.

Those 4 aspects of the game- geography, public v. religious, championships, and the game's history are the reason that this is the most heated rivalry in Banija, and quickly becoming one of the most heated rivalries in the NSCF. On Saturday night however, only one team will walk off of the field victorious, and we'll see if it is 1st place Loyola or defending conference champion Northern in their first ever battle as members of the NSCF.

[Costa Aluria]

---

Carenghy Opens the Five and Dime as Honu Take Drawk Corp to the Market
Story by Abraham Shepherd

Mosaic—The South Seas University football program earned its third win of the young NSCF 13 season with the home opener over Drawk Corp Unversity, posting a final score of 37-10. With the win, the Honu remain undefeated going into a top five matchup at Horizon Conference foe Ramusok Capital University.

Though the Honu opened the season slowly, they have gained momentum in the last two games in what amounts to two additional tune up games in preparation for the Dragons. The question that has been left on everybody’s mind, of course, is whether or not the Honu can live up to their #1 billing, especially in a hostile environment. For the Honu, it will project to be the first real test of the season and a crucial proving stage for a continued run toward excellence. With the first three games in the bag, the Honu season is backloaded with talent, and a strong showing against Ramusok Capital in week four may have heavy implications for South Seas ability to finish down the stretch and potentially into the playoffs.

While last week’s win over Saint Petry Rangers saw not a single passing play, head coach Goose Carneghy returned to a somewhat more traditional look against Drawk Corp. Still, when we are talking the conventions of Carneghy, nothing lives up to the billing of traditional. The South Seas offense revealed yet a new wrinkle in the tilt, employing a dink and dunk offense which methodically moved down the field as a keen juxtaposition to the up tempo, quick strike philosophy to which many fans might be accustomed. In doing so, Carneghy mixed passing plays with runs, but did not utilize a single big play. The longest play from scrimmage on the day for the Honu was eight yards.

The offensive strategy may have been an interesting choice for the home opener. With the Plumeria Garden crowd in full bloom, Carneghy may have placed a bit of distance with the crowd. Despite the stadium’s reputation as one of the loudest in the NSCF, the slow pace of the four quarters led the television commentators to peg the game as a bit “boring.” It may be a fair assumption to wonder whether those in the home crowd lost some of their fervor with the Honu dominating in small chunks.

In the post game presser, Carenghy explained his ever changing offensive tactics. “You guys go on like it is something new, some exotic ‘wrinkle’ in the system. But it is the same thing we have done for some time. We make teams defend everything on the field. Just because it is not something we have shown before doesn’t mean it isn’t in our playbook. Our goal is to make teams try to prepare for anything that might happen on the field, give them something that they haven’t prepared for. When a team has to be ready for anything, we believe they are less prepared for everything. When that happens, we keep you on your heels and then we just have to go out and execute what we do.”

With the constant shift in offensive philosophy, Carneghy may be sending a message not just to those in the media but to the entire NSCF. Previously, storyline had been, “How will the Honu pull out an unconventional win today?” It seems now that Carneghy is trying the “Conventionality is the new unconventional” approach. The deeper message may in fact be that the South Seas football program is good enough to be versatile in employing new mechanics. If this trend continues, that may be some very unwelcome news to the other teams in the NSCF.

Perhaps the bigger story of the day, however, is not the continued metamorphasis of the Honu offense, but the emergence of the South Seas defense. Through three games, the Honu have allowed just 17 points, a pace that would put them on mark to allow fewer than 74 points on the regular season. If the Honu are able to perform anywhere near that mark, it may not matter what offensive style they choose to employ. As noted, however, the competition moving forward should provide a much more accurate test of whether that pace is sustainable.

Against Drawk Corp, sophomore sensation Adawale Jesumbo notched three sacks, and senior cornerback Jovante James recorded an interception. The emergence of freshman nose tackle Laurent Delormier has made a huge difference to Honu defensive unit, freeing up players to otherwise wreak havoc on opposing offenses. It will be interesting to see how defensive coordinator Samson Fisafua employs his weapons against the stiffer competition to yet come. One thing is certain, however. As this relatively young group continues to gel and gain experience, they will cause many sleepless nights for opposing offensive coordinators.

With that, the Honu head on the road again, to face the fierce Ramusok Capital squad that will be hungry to knock South Seas University down a peg or two, after doing likewise to Stoneshore College just two weeks ago. Expect a motivated and frenzied crowd to do all they can to further discombobulate the Honu offense, and expect the winner of week four to be the early favorite for a run deep into the playoffs. As we have found out, however, don’t try to expect what move is the next that Goose Carneghy takes. With this coach, it is always best practice to expect the unexpected.

---

Box Score	1	2	3	4	OT	F
Drawk Corp University	0	3	7	0	N/A	10
South Seas University	7	14	9	7	N/A	37

Scoring summary:
1st Qtr, 6:58 (SSU) Jonas Talbot 4 yard run (Ranger Cisterns XP) [DCU 0-SSU 7]
2nd Qtr, 11:12 (SSU) Ezra Talbot 2 yard pass to Satchel King (Ranger Cisterns XP) [DCU 0-SSU 14]
2nd Qtr, 7:39 (DCU) Asher Goode 34 yard field goal [DCU 3-SSU 14]
2nd Qtr, 0:44 (SSU) Ezra Talbot 1 yard run (Ranger Cisterns XP) [DCU 3-SSU 21]
3rd Qtr, 11:02 (SSU) Ezra Talbot 5 yard pass to Roosevelt Calderon (Ranger Cisterns XP) [DCU 3-SSU 28]
3rd Qtr, 7:50 (DCU) Bennett Morgan 14 yard run (Asher Goode XP) [DCU 10-SSU 28]
3rd Qtr, 0:16 (SSU) Laurent Delormier tackled Bennett Morgan in the endzone for safety [DCU 10-SSU 30]
4th Qtr, 9:09 (SSU) Ezra Talbot 6 yard pass to Estancio Abascal (Ranger Cisterns XP) [DCU 10-SSU 37]

[Costa Aluria]

Child's Play, Part Trois
[OOC: Child's Play is the philosophy of Goose Carneghy as told with the help of toys and games and otherwise overlysimplified concepts suitable for a nine year old.]

Part I
Part II

---

---

---

Entry of the Gladiators or Send in the Clowns? Carneghy’s Bedlam Under the Bigtop
Story by Alexander Santos

[The following story appeared as a feature article in Island Life Magazine; an abridged version is reprinted here with permission, as a courtesy to our readers-Ed.]

He asked me to meet him in the grandstands. The “he,” of course, is South Seas University head football coach Goose Carneghy. The grandstands, however, was nowhere similar to the bleachers in The Plumeria Garden. To the contrary, the grandstands were those inside of Brambleberry’s Under the Bigtop, the main campus of Costa Aluria’s biggest travelling circus.

I walked through the fence and past the ticket booth, the ferris wheel visible on the midway in the distance. There were of course the usual exotic animals, the freaks and mystiques, the bearded lady. There were the thrilling rides and the curious acts on the side; there were all the eccentricities one could have in store--and much more. The persnickety promise was a poignant and powerful paper of prominence: this show would challenge all that I know. I came to get my chills and to get my thrills, and most of all to defy my brain. I came to see the sights under the lights, and to try to understand the insane. Look at this, look at that--the most inexplicable show on the map!

And that was just the South Seas University football team.

I started covering the Honu during their impressive run to the Championship game in NSCF season 12. I had been drawn in, like so many others, by the unconventional on field style of play that the football program employs. But little did I know that the in-game antics was only half the story.

What brought me to the report, simply put, is not what I find most compelling about the success of the Honu. Instead, I keep coming back to explore the equally unconventional off-the-field preparation that Carnegy utilizes. What the casual fan may not observe is that Carneghy’s game time strategy is simply part and parcel, the natural fulfillment, of how he leads his life. He is, needless to say, a creatively unique individual, through and through.

“It is all about creating a new mentality,” Carneghy told me as the lion tamer entered the ring. “I’m trying to challenge the common thoughts that football is all about what happens on the field. One of the things that makes me different is that I make connections. Not connections like everybody else, like if you are averaging six yards a rush, you should probably run the ball more. No, deeper. I make connections where other people usually don’t.”

“It’s not that I am purposely going out to create chaos. Chaos just happens to be one of the natural side effects of connecting ideas that others haven’t yet. But it isn’t really chaos. Once those behind the trend are able to catch up, it makes a lot of sense. But the ability to make those connections before anybody else is a huge advantage.”

“Well, let’s talk about that advantage,” I responded. “What do you think will be your advantage against Ramusok Capital? After all, your team has had limited success against the elite of the NSCF.”

In classic Carneghy style, he responded to my question with a question of his own. “You know what makes an idea catalyst tick? Remember those connections I spoke of? I never lose a go into a match without learning something. And I never come out of a match, especially a loss, without making a new connection. Connections are key. They force you to think about things in a new way.”

“I suppose,” came my reply. “But where is the difference between thought and action? It has to play out on the field, right?” And, thinking myself to be quite clever, I added, “I guess that is where the distinction lies: against Ramusok or the other cream of the crop in the NSCF, is this Honu team the main attraction or simply a sideshow?”

“What is a sideshow?” Carenghy replied without missing a beat. “Go ahead and ask the crowd what they came to see. Some will say they came for clowns, some the zebras and giraffes. Some might say they came to see the trapeze artists, some the sword swallower. Just because one act gets more attention than others doesn’t mean it is the main attraction. Instead, think of how the show works together. Again, what did the crowd come to see?”

Careneghy has baited me into looking a fool a number of times in the past, so I sat there holding my tongue as the tightrope walkers practiced overhead. Instead, I just watched the show unfold. But the curiosity on my face must have revealed itself.

“Take a closer look at the funambulist there,” Carneghy continued as he pointed at the tightrope.

I was thankful for the visual clue, as even my years of journalism hadn’t prepared me for the technical term. I gazed at the man in the green tights, waiting for an explanation.

Carneghy gave me a few moments of awkward silence before resuming. “That’s Estancio.”

He, of course, was referring to Estancio Abascal, the junior Honu wide receiver.

I squinted, and could only muster a disbelieving, “What?”

“You ever see a wide receiver make a big play on the outside, tiptoeing down the sideline en route to a score?” Carneghy inquired. “Tough to do that without balance.”

And now my eyes were wide open, literally and figuratively. What was Carneghy trying to do here? Slowly, I looked around the bigtop. Instead of seeing the circus performers as I had when I entered the site, I now began to see what was really going on. It was a training regimen. Unconventional, perhaps (and like anything else Carneghy does), but a training regimen at that. I nodded toward the jugglers.

“Tip drill practice for our defensive backs and special teams,” Carneghy noted.

In one corner the strongmen were practicing their routine. I snapped my fingers as I pointed in their direction.

“Gideon Ali’iloa and the other linebackers, working out some different muscle groups.”

I arose to meander the room, motioning to the football coach to join me. “The elephant trainer?”

Carneghy shrugged. “The only fair sparring competition for our jumbo sized Laurent Delormier.”

We took a quick stroll to the tiny clown car with all of the entertainers packed inside. At this point I knew I didn’t need to ask more questions. Intrigued, I tapped the car with my hand.

“We pack our offensive and defensive linemen in there to really muck it up, and then Ezekiel Pentecost has to figure out a way to squirt out of there, just like we ask him to do when he is running out of the backfield.”

One by one, Carenghy explained his unconventional training program, and just how each act could enhance his game plan. With each ring we passed, a new act performed. And with each act, I gained a little more insight into the connections Carneghy was making. And what a fabulous stage for Carneghy to teach about these connections--around each corner something just as bizarre as what had previously been shown. It was a poignant metaphor for just how Carneghy makes those connections--always something more bizarre than what he had done previously.

Finally, we came to the trapeze artist. While I had been made a fool before, I was certain there could be no training happening there. This time I would not bite my tongue. “Certainly you can’t tell me that the trapeze artists are preparing for on-field dynamics.”

“I don’t think I need to tell you,” Carneghy replied. “You ever see defensive players who can’t tackle because they don’t wrap up? Take a closer look at the trapeze and you’ll know that is the name of their game.”

And with that statement, I understood how opposing coaches must feel. One simply cannot play Goose Carneghy at his own game and hope to win. I figured my best strategy was to continue trying to understand the man himself. “You’ve spent much of today speaking of the connections you make. How did you connect football to the circus?”

And in a day of surprises, in an ongoing column of surprises about a man who is the master of ceremonies regarding surprises, what came next may have been the biggest surprise yet. Nonchalantly, Carneghy shrugged. “Oh that,” he responded with very little vigor. “I made that connection easily after I earned my degree from the circus university offered here at Brambleberry’s.”

Yeah, Carneghy went to clown college. Of course he did. Why should that surprise me?

But as I have now learned, with Carneghy, one has to just keep rolling with the punches. “So your request to meet you at the circus was about teaching connections; in this case the connection between circus acts and a regimented off-field training and preparation.”

“Is that what you believe?” Carneghy questioned, with true curiosity in his tone. “I came here because the circus brings a smile to my face. I just came to enjoy the show; it is, after all, only fun and games.”

-------------------
It is said that if one can conquer the mind of the general, one will also conquer his war strategy. Having spent an increasingly larger amount of time with this general of the South Seas University football program, I can say I am no closer to understanding how his mind works; my condolences go out to opposing NSCF coaches who undoubtedly have spent far less time with the man. As the head coach pointed out, in the circus, no one act is more important than the others. Instead, Carneghy is himself the embodiment of the grand circusmaster, waving his wand as all of the acts work together in tandem to utterly amaze the crowd. At Brambleberry’s Under the Bigtop, and at South Seas University football games, one should come prepared to see it all.

I’ll take Carneghy’s advice as my closer, and I’ll question the crowd: “What did you come to see?”

It is the show that never ends.

[Osarius]

NSCF Power Ranking Top Ten
Review by Harold Matterhorn, Arjen Miller, Xavier Camacho and Marlon Phillips
(Rank changes are compared to Cosumarite Courier ranks week 2, as I don't remember the pre-season ranks, sadly)


Honorable mentions:
Northern Moravica University
Losing to newcomer teams happens. We get it. But it shouldn't happen at home, and they shouldn't be keeping you out of the end zone. That's a major red flag right there. Northern Moravica are still in the race to win the Celestia conference, but the absolutely have to beat Loyola. Fall there and they may as well give up. The problem is that their tame offense -- much like Stoneshore's -- doesn't look up to the task. And unlike the former champions, Northern don't have an elite defense to fall back on.

University of Heavenly Snakes
While we can criticise other 2-1 teams for a fundamental weakness, Heavenly Snakes appear to be well-balanced, and have the second best point differential among 2-1 teams -- trailing only the monstrous offense of St Croix. Their narrow loss at Karl Marx University was arguably unfortunate, and perhaps with a sliver of luck, they'd be among the top six teams with a 3-0 record. Hard to say, and so we're going to have to wait a little.

10

Vietussia Academy
Major plus point for the NSCF newcomers is their win over Northern Moravica. We absolutely cannot justify ranking them below a team they just beat, when all else is pretty much equal. So here they are. We're still not sure they have the engine for a full season run at this level, but they've shown they can hang so far. You gotta respect that.

09

Raynor University
Like Stoneshore, Raynor were another program who had promising start derailed by a loss that really shouldn't have happened. Their home defeat to Conquerer's Academy was not only a shock, but it was pretty convincing. We had to go back and ask just what went wrong because they just didn't look like the same team that dominated their first two opponents. Like Loyola, it is possible they have reaped the benefits of a weak early-season schedule; their game against Mar Sara will give a better indication.

08

Stoneshore College
It's downright strange to rank them so low after their only loss is to another strong contender. But the fact of the matter is that Stoneshore haven't looked too convincing in general so far this season. They've never been a high-offense team like the Dragons, but even by their modest offensive standards, they don't seem too threatening when in possession. A stout defense will take them far, but looking at the offensive output of the other title contenders, Stoneshore don't appear to have enough. We'll see.

07

Universite St Croix
Okay okay okay... yes they lost to Utica. But... it's Utica. And it was in The Pit. It's half expected, really. Before that, the Quebecois were looking extremely dangerous on offense, racking up points on points on points. But Utica made that same offense look ... pedestrian. If they can get over that bump against Utica and return to their high scoring ways, they'll fly back up our rankings and the Osarian school will have a tough job staying ahead of them in the race for the Woodlands conference championship.

06

Loyola University
Some will argue that loyola deserve a higher rank given that they are yet to allow a single point, but all three games have been against mediocre teams. By comparison, South Seas are runaway leaders by OSPI, and both Utica and RCU have taken down top five teams. What exactly have Loyola done to deserve a higher rank?

05

Thereisnogodistan Community College
If their win over Ceneisis last week had been against any other team in their conference, it would be difficult to rank them above Loyola, but the Naval Academy is a solid team, and a hard fought win on the road there is an indicator of TCC's quality. It'll be interesting to watch them battle with Heavenly Snakes and Ceneisis for Zephyr supremacy as the season unfolds.

04

Mar Sara Tech
A healthy OSPI of 0.747 and a 3-0 record in a competitive mineral conference. We can't realistically drop them any lower than this. You can make the case that St Croix or Stoneshore are better teams, but results don't necessarily reflect that at the moment. Loyola have a better point differential, but against inferior teams.

03

Ramusok Capital University
These guys took down the unofficial college football world champions last week*, and have the best OSPI behind Utica and South Seas. They also have the best point differential in the league. Sounding like title contenders yet? Okay, let's also remember that they are a veteran program; they have several players on the roster with experience of deep playoff runs. They've been to this dance before and came home with all the marbles. If their offensive output stays at anything near this level, they'll be there or thereabouts come season's end. No doubt about it.

02

Utica University
The Tigers have allowed precisely one score through their three opening games. And that came against a top five team who at the time were by far and away the league's highest scoring program. With the exception of South Seas -- maybe -- it's hard to see Utica going into any matchup in the league right now as the underdogs. Right now, Woodlands conference is theirs to lose; and the pre-season target of a playoff semi final at least is looking very much achievable.

01

South Seas University
Look, this team were unlucky to lose the championship game last season and entered the season as interim college football world champions*. They were provisionally ranked number one by various media outlets across the multiverse. And so far, they are the only 3-0 team with two road wins. Give us a reason to drop them to number two. Don't worry, we'll wait.


* Note: The Unofficial College Football World Championship is a hypothetical, lineal championship tracked by OSN since the Championship game of NSCF 1. With the most recent holders ceasig to exist, OSN decided to award the lineal title to Stoneshore College (as the number one ranked college football side in the world) and the interim title to South Seas (as the team with the best finish last season).

[Cosumar]

The Roaring Dragon
Ramusok Capital University's Official Student Newspaper

Tolbert, Fischibe topple Stoneshore late in sloppy RCU win
Will Danielson, Staff Writer

RAMUSOK -- Of the two Cosumarite schools in NSCF, Ramusok Capital are typically billed as the high-flying gunslingers with Stoneshore as their more old-school, defensively-sound counterparts. These usual roles were reversed, however, as the bitter rivals met for the first time this season at Capital Coliseum on Week 2. Stoneshore outgained the home team in both phases of offense but their inability to take care of the ball cost them as it was RCU who stepped up and made big plays on defense.

None bigger than Gary Tolbert's interception of Ash Solomon in the endzone with 3:47 remaining. On 4th & Goal, the junior linebacker sat back in coverage in the middle of the endzone and read the eyes of the Bruins quarterback with ease. He was able to undercut the comeback route of tight end Arild Keldan and collapse with the ball for a touchback, preventing Stoneshore from touching their 17-13 lead.

RCU was able to milk the clock down from there and seal the stage-setting win for the season. What's more, it was Tolbert's second endzone interception of the game.

"We were incredibly hyped in that situation," Tolbert said. "We were like, everybody talks about Stoneshore's defense, but it's our time right now. 4th down, baby. Game on the line. It's our time to shine. We have to prove to the world what kind of defense we have. And we did."

The Dragons' D definitely made a statement. On a night when their offense was struggling a tad more than usual (a credit to the Stoneshore defense), second-year defensive coordinator Jarpen Spoonemore's unit stepped up and made up the difference. It's a vast improvement from the horrendous defense that was consistently displayed last year. The Dragons intercepted Solomon three times, sacked him four times and tackled noticeablely better across the board.

I should've known better than that on the last play," Stoneshore QB Ash Solomon said. "It was sad to not be able to win for our fans that made the trip to Ramusok, especially since it was so close within our grasp, but I'll bounce back stronger next week. It's my first year as starter, and I wholly expect my performances to get better as the season goes on."

But despite earning a mere 13 points, Stoneshore had a rather prolific night by their standards on offense. Without doubt, there are signs of life to encourage Bruins fans. More than that, even. Running back Alan Aardalen had his best game with 158 yards and Solomon was very accurate with the exception of his three red zone picks. What would the score have been if those late-drive throws were touchdowns rather than turnovers? RCU coach Snorri Andersen said his Dragons were "fortunate" to eke out the win.

"We're not strutting out of here like we're hot stuff," he deadpanned.

RCU trailed 13-10 in the fourth quarter... until second-string running back Ziram Fischibe enetered the game and raced around Antigonus Jameson 48 yards for his first NSCF touchdown. After Tolbert gave the ball back to the Dragons' offense with his last-gasp interception, they kept going to Fischibe...and he kept racing past Stoneshore defenders. He would run for first downs on three consecutive carries to ice the game.

RCU quarterback Enok Rye had a slow start, missing his first six passes. He looked nothing like the guy who torched lowly Saint Petyr 47-0 with 400+ passing yards in the opener. After losing out on the starting job to senior Tobias Engel last season, Rye has waited a long time to be "the guy" in Ramusok. But with highly-touted sophomore Taron Thalman waiting in the wings, Rye cannot afford such bleak starts against quality opponents. Fortunately, he improved as he became more comfortable in the pocket and even made some surprising plays with his legs late.

"When we first started off, I think it was obvious that I had the jitters," Rye said. "The difference between Saint Petyr and Stoneshore was night and day, and RCU-Stoneshore is always a massive game. There are a lot of pressures and expectations that comes with playing them at home. But as the offense settled in, we started moving the ball and did enough to win the game."

Both schools are led by first-year starters at quarterback, and it showed in this sloppy hard-nosed affair. But it was Rye & RCU that came out on top over Solomon & Stoneshore on this occasion, giving Ramusok a one-game lead in the Horizon Conference standings alongside South Seas in first place. The Dragons and Bruins will meet again at Cape Dutch on Week 7. By then, both offenses should be a bit more polished and Stoneshore will have a chance for payback.

Below, you can review the box score and statistics from the first "Cosumar Clash" of NSCF 13.

Box Score	1	2	3	4	F
Ramusok Capital University	0	10	0	7	17
Stoneshore College	7	6	0	0	13

Scoring Summary
1ST (5:20) - SSC TD - M. Weeldreyer 21 yard pass from A. Solomon [7-0 SSC]
2ND (14:55) - RCU TD - M. Peerenboom 9 yard pass from E. Rye [7-7]
2ND (12:22) - SSC FG - K. Solloway 47 yard kick [10-7 SSC]
2ND (7:10) - RCU FG - L. Na'At 25 yard kick [10-10]
2ND (1:43) - SSC FG - K. Solloway 38 yard kick [13-10 SSC]
4TH (12:44) - RCU TD - Z. Fischibe 48 yard run [17-13 RCU]


RCU Individual Stats
QB Enok Rye - 11/24 for 146 yards, TD, 51 rush yards
RB Nic Perrantes - 24 carries for 93 yards, 44 rec. yards
RB Ziram Fischibe - 4 carries for 75 yards, TD
WR Max Peerenboom - 3 rec. for 45 yards, TD
MLB Gary Tolbert - 10 tackles, 2 INT
ROLB Cygnus Cason - 6 tackles (3 TFL), INT
DE Damien Alders - 2 sacks


Stoneshore Individual Stats
QB Ash Solomon - 19/31 for 232 yards, TD, 3 INT
RB Alan Aardalen - 15 carries for 158 yards
WR Madison Weeldreyer - 6 rec. for 114 yards, TD
WR Devin Ferris - 6 rec. for 57 yards
DE Antigonus Jameson - 5 tackles, 1 FF, 1 sack
SS Elton Van Nifterick - 7 tackles, 3 deflections


RCU and SSC Comparison
RCU: 394 yards, 22 first downs
SSC: 440 yards, 20 first downs

RCU: 0 Turnovers
SSC: 3 Turnovers (3 INT)

RCU: 36 minutes of possession
SSC: 24 minutes of possession

RCU: 8 penalties for 60 yards
SSC: 6 penalties for 30 yards

---

(OOC: I've decided to cover the rivalry clash in this RP even though it's a matchday old at this point).

[Valanora]

Valanora Times
Stunning Results

Mar Sara Tech is a bit of enigma when it comes to the NSCF, as they established themselves in Valanora with a balanced offensive approach and a defense that bends but doesn't break. However nearly two and a half years into their ventures in the NSCF, they have become a team that is not as flashy offensively as they are in their domestic displays, yet their defense has become quite stifling at times. With just twelve points given up in their first three games in the highly competitive Mineral Conference, you can see where this defense has become something that many teams do not look forward to facing. However the offense has been pedestrian at best but still finding ways to get enough points to get the side the victories, last season being an obvious exception.

As it stands, it really is Tech's conference to lose down the stretch, as they have just looked the best complete side from start to finish in games a third of the way through conference play. It makes you really wonder just what was going on last season that the team simply could not get it together and go on a run like they have started this season and had in their first season. However with a date still left with national rivals in Raynor and having just pipped Conquerer's Academy, there is still plenty of chance for the Raiders to show that they are not as good as they appear to be. That being said, there is nothing that we have seen thus far from this side who seem to have the right mix of underclassmen and upperclassmen to make you think that they will not win the conference.

The same can not be said for Raynor University, who were riding high after they had thorough put their first opponents to the sword with offensive displays that would make Bettia proud. However Conquerer's Academy was not about to let their dreams become to large as they demolished the Rockets in a very convincing fashion. With their spirits now demolished, they have to get ready for a game with the Raiders. This is a rivalry that stretches across sports and sport itself. Mar Sara is in the heart of the breadbasket of Valanora, with enticing features such as the Space Elevator and Donna Cathedral, making for a culturally rich and diverse city. However compared to the wealth and diversity of the capital, it always seems to be a second fiddle in national and international discussions. Both schools would like nothing more to do their city proud and get one up on the over while facilitating their own chances to take the conference lead going into the halfway point of the season. Most media outlets still think the Rockets have something to give despite their loss, this would be the perfect chance to show it.

[Valanora]

Matchday 4

Celestia Conference
Vietussia Academy (UNV) 26–12 Sushington National University (SSH)
Kanza University (USD) 6–17 Alderasca College (NUD)
Northern Moravica University (BNJ) 10–0 Loyola University (BNJ)

P Celestia Conference                      Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Vietussia Academy                          4    3   1    85   46  +39     0
2 Loyola University                          4    3   1    46   10  +36     0
3 Northern Moravica University               4    3   1    43   18  +25     0
4 Alderasca College                          4    2   2    37   36   +1     0
5 Kanza University                           4    1   3    31   68  −37     0
6 Sushington National University             4    0   4    12   76  −64     0

Woodlands Conference
University of Damushuto (DKI) 7–21 University of Iqaluit (QUE)
Universite St. Croix (QUE) 43–11 Hampden College (QUE)
Palæontological-Centered Research (NTN) 10–34 Utica University (OSR)

P Woodlands Conference                     Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Utica University                           4    4   0   108   17  +91     0
2 Universite St. Croix                       4    3   1   142   49  +93     0
3 Palæontological-Centered Research          4    2   2    95   87   +8     0
4 Hampden College                            4    2   2    44   92  −48     0
5 University of Iqaluit                      4    1   3    28   80  −52     0
6 University of Damushuto                    4    0   4    23  115  −92     0

[Cosumar]

Matchday 4 - Mineral Conference

St. Peters College 34–0 Levivania Royal University
Conquerer's Academy 12–7 University of Curumba
Mar Sara Tech 41–13 Raynor University

Mineral Conference          Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Mar Sara Tech                 4    4   0    90   25  +65    12
2 Conquerer's Academy           4    3   1    61   30  +31     9
3 St. Peters College            4    2   2    66   31  +35     6
4 Raynor University             4    2   2    95   91   +4     6
5 University of Curumba         4    1   3    39   91  −52     3
6 Levivania Royal University    4    0   4    26  109  −83     0

[The Royal Kingdom of Quebec]

Matchday 5 Results - Horizon and Zephyr Conferences

Horizon Conference
Galturin State University 12–20 Saint Petyr Rangers
South Seas University 14–16 Stoneshore College
Drawk Corp University 6–16 Ramusok Capital University

Pld    W   L    GF   GA   GD 
1 Ramusok Capital University    4    4   0   118   28  +90
2 Stoneshore College            4    3   1    75   37  +38
3 South Seas University         4    3   1   104   33  +71
4 Drawk Corp University         4    1   3    36   82  −46
5 Saint Petyr Rangers           4    1   3    27  123  −96
6 Galturin State University     4    0   4    28   85  −57

Zephyr Conference
Karl Marx University 48–7 Institute of Higher Learning and Technology
University of Heavenly Snakes 17–27 Thereisnogodistan Community College
Bastille Tech 0–45 Ceneisis Naval Academy

Pld    W   L    GF   GA   GD 
1 Thereisnogodistan Community College            4    4   0    88   40  +48
2 Ceneisis Naval Academy                         4    3   1    83   14  +69
3 Karl Marx University                           4    3   1    87   30  +57
4 University of Heavenly Snakes                  4    2   2    74   44  +30
5 Bastille Tech                                  4    0   4    27  121  −94
6 Institute of Higher Learning and Technology    4    0   4    17  127 −110

[United Vietussia]

VIETUSSIA JUMPS TO 7TH IN LATEST POLL

Hankow- After a huge win against Northern Moravica and a well expected win against Sunshington 26-12, Vietussia Academy has jumped to 7th in the latest poll, the highest ranked among the Celestia Conference, what many are calling the weakest conference as the the group has no undefeated teams and only has 3 teams in the top 15. Vietussia is also now the second-ranked newcomer team only behind Universite St. Croix.

The Fuel Arc Poll will come out next week after Vietussia's midway game against Loyola University, looking for a win to try an establish a larger lead in the Celestia conference to perhaps establish an auto bid or high OSPI bid into the tournament. As of now, here is the playoff picture:

(1) Utica University
vs.
(8) Cenesis Naval Academy (at large bid)

(4) Thereisnogodistan Community College
vs.
(5) Vietussia Academy

(3) Mar Sara Tech
vs.
(6) (top OSPI, not calculated at this time)

(2) Ramusok Capital College
vs.
(7) Universite St. Croix (at large bid)

At large bids were voted on by our analysts, and the top two received 7 and 8 in their order of votes.

Matchups were simulated:

Utica over Cenesis
Vietussia over Thereisnogodistan
Mar Sara over top OSPI
St. Croix over Ramusok

Semifinals:
Utica over Vietussia
St. Croix over Mar Sara

Finals:
Utica over St. Croix

3rd place:
Vietussia over Mar Sara

(These results are to be used as a tool to judge how your team is doing, and do NOT reflect actual NSCF projections.)

So after 10,000 simulations were run per match, Utica seemed to have the best odds of winning it all with St. Croix in second, Vietussia in third, Mar Sara Tech in fourth.

These simulations are a beacon of hope for Vietussia as they hope to further their lead in the Celestia Conference to clinch an auto bid and become one of the very few newcomer teams in the playoffs. But we must remember that this is nearly midseason, and anything can happen.

That's all for now, and we hope to see you tomorrow night for Vietussia's game against Loyola University. Good night, everyone.