WC72 RP Thread

by **The Saint James Islands** » Tue Jul 14, 2015 5:28 pm

For the Spirit of the Game
Qualifiers for the Seventy-Second World Cup
On the management of the Omerica men’s national team
Turanga ʻAhipula ʻo ʻOmerika
6 Jacques la Rouge Road
Port-Alexandre, Philibiscostal 18-A40
Commonwealth of Omerica

The Executive Board of the Turanga ʻAhipula ʻo ʻOmerika officially registers its displeasure with the performance of the Omerica men’s national team so far in the qualifying tournament for World Cup 72. We deplore the failure of Omerican players to perform to the standards of their position and condemn the pathetic and shameful behaviour of manager James-Alexandre Christopherson in response to the performance of the team.

As such, the TAO Executive Board has agreed to a course of action in regards to the future of the management of the national team. The TAO has been pleased to have the services of Mr Christopherson and has respected his professionalism up to this point, but, in light of recent transgressions, we must place Mr Christopherson on notice. However, we will set out clear, concise and objective circumstances under which the TAO will retain Mr Christopherson’s services and the Executive Board agrees that Mr Christopherson’s services will be retained if and only if:

Omerica finish within the top four in qualifying Group 14; and
Omerica either:
Qualify for the World Cup; or
Receive an invitation to the Cup of Harmony and advance to the knockout stage of the competition.
If these criteria are met, the Turanga ʻAhipula ʻo ʻOmerika will retain James-Alexandre Christopherson as manager of the Omerica men’s national team. If these criteria are not met, the Turanga ʻAhipula ʻo ʻOmerika will terminate its relationship with James-Alexandre Christopherson with immediate effect.

Sincerely:
Makara Mahana ʻo Petera
General Secretary of the Turanga ʻAhipula ʻo ʻOmerika

by **San Llera** » Tue Jul 14, 2015 5:42 pm

World Cup 72 Kit Contest

Welcome back to the World cup 72 kits contest. This time, we will be staging the Round of 32. Who will advance to the Sweet Sixteen? Who will be eliminated? Let's find out...

And with that, the Round of 32 concludes. Stay tuned for the Round of 16! Speaking of which...

by **Eura** » Tue Jul 14, 2015 6:04 pm

At times the most troubling dynamic of international relations, for any influential nation at least, is multipolarity. On this occasion however, they were playing out well in the favour of the United Federation of Eura. Sat at the throne of Euran political control was the Prime Minister Michael Judge, or more specifically he was sat in the chair of his office in the capital. It was late, nearly ten o’clock, as parties for Union Day continued long into the night and the news at ten prepared for broadcast on the radio station Judge was tuned into. Judge had experienced a few testing moments as Prime Minister; publically known examples were the oil shock caused by the Polarian big freeze, the ongoing electoral reform debate, the situation of the newly combined “Euran Oceania” territories, and restoring trust in the political system after the Askoy scandal. On these issues at least, Judge’s Liberal government had been a success. His true biggest test was the one he had not yet found a solution to, and one that was very much private – Sameba’s acquisition of operational nuclear weapons and energy without Eura knowing until days before their first weapons test. The Sameban question as a whole would be the issue that would define his premiership, but he didn’t know it yet.

Right now, the issue with Electrum seemed all-consuming despite southern Esportiva seemingly going to the wall in the background. The aforementioned political multipolarity of Rushmore was helping Eura here. For once, Valladares was on its side, at least on the issue of the Sargossan base. If that issue could be resolved favourably and with everyone being left happy, then Judge could pull off a decisive political victory by strengthening relations with all three of the other major parties in the Floriana dispute, acting as an arbitrator, while humiliating Sargossa. Sargossa was not Eura’s main rival nor its main security concern, not before this issue, but in the space of a couple of weeks it seemed like the centre of gravity of Euran strategy had suddenly shifted completely. In truth it had been a longer process, as the Askoy crisis had cleared heads in Metropolis and Bastion, and it seemed that finally the Euran-Valladares political impasse and dangerous nuclear standoff over various relatively trivial issues had come to an end. Neither side seemed bothered anymore. Eura didn’t want another Askoy, Valladares knew its limits in competing with Eura’s relative size and military strength, and both sides could now see the benefit in working a little harder to get on, even if they remained rivals in many ways.

On the other hand, Sargossa had seemingly supplanted Valladares as a potential aggressor in any place that matters, particularly Pasarga and Mytannion. Neither Eura nor Sargossa saw each other as enemy number one, but Euran-Sargossan relations were certainly not in a good place. Eura knew Sargossa had been harbouring resentment to Eura for a number of things; the humiliation of the capture of the former Mytanar dictator from their custody, the apparent failure of a challenge to Pasarga in its earliest stages, the sudden alignment of Vermark (which neighbours their Modraine territory) with Eura, and generally what Sargossa perceived to be an ongoing attempt by Eura to assume political dominance over its Rushmori peers in a brash and arrogant fashion. The last was not true, but the other three complaints all had at least a grain of truth to them. So, for Judge, this was an important moment. He had left the door open for Electrum to come out of this situation with some sort of settlement that could benefit them. Nobody had to fall out in the long term if they didn’t want this dispute to become a long term problem. The rhetoric had been strong from both sides, but as far as anyone on the inside could really tell, Electrum was in a poor position. Its government was going into an election that it looked like it might well lose, the Sargossan base scheme had turned the nation it was relying on to check Valladares against them, and if they did refuse to back down, they had no apparent way of making their wishes happen. Though there was no truth to the allegations, it seemed like Electrum had got the impression that Eura was intending to send an army towards Centralis if it didn’t get the answer it wanted. What was true is that while Electrum could probably find a way of circumventing the opposition of Valladares, the only way for the Sargossan base to be built was to get Eura to allow it to happen.

The Prime Minister had no intention of doing so. With the exit poll for Electrum’s peculiar snap election due in just an hour, he had decided to phone the Electrumite leader, Cynthia Suarez, and offer her some advice – and a reiteration of the Euran position should she retain her office.
'Margaret.’
‘Yes, Prime Minister.’
‘I’m making the call, put me through.’ Judge picked up his blue phone, the “golden line” as it was referred to rather smugly by internal staff. There was no such thing as an unimportant or insignificant or trivial call ever made on this phone, but somehow the staff always found a way to find it peculiar with its old fashioned style. ‘Prime Minister Judge, good evening.’
‘Good evening Prime Minister Suarez. Is this a bad time?’
‘I have a minute, we're at the residence awaiting the results. Happy Union Day.’
‘Thank you, though the rest of the nation is celebrating it more than I am. Though if Kris Campbell keeps scoring I’ll have to join in! I just wanted to have a word, if that’s ok.’ There was an unusual sound on the end of the line and a long pause, then quiet. ‘Just clearing the room.’
‘Right. I won’t ask you how you think you’re going to do but, despite our differences at the moment, I feel we have worked well together recently, before the current crisis. So I wish you the best of luck in your election.’
‘Do you mean that?’
‘Yes.’
‘It’s hard to believe, really. This is just what you want, isn’t it? Disunity. A strong Green Society. Euran nationalists rising up. I don’t know what went wrong, but the way Yarley spoke to our Ambassador was shameful. If you want a puppet, you’re not getting one, do you understand? I assume you heard my speech.’
‘Naturally.’
‘I meant it. Money talks. If you have a better offer than Sargossa has, then make it. We know you were never really on the side of Metropolis here. Otherwise, as I also made clear, don’t kick the hornet’s nest. We cannot be bullied.’

Judge cleared his throat, and paused for a moment to think, before finally speaking once more. ‘Suarez, I don’t know what your impression is of me. Well, I’ll tell you, I’m not hard as nails like my young Foreign Minister. Wonderful, isn’t she? Though I’m sorry if she hurt the feelings of our dear friend the Ambassador. No, I’m what you would call an administrator, I guess. This government is not a one man show. I’ll use an analogy, inspired by one of your papers. The something Post or other called us “the bear”. An odd choice, as our national animal is the gold falcon. Let’s take this further though, let us say Eura is a bear. I’m the eye in what you might call the Euran bear, perhaps. The people are the body, the government is the brain, and I guess our teeth is our military and other strategic tools and resources. That bear might be the biggest in its cave, but when another one comes rooting about for a nibble at the other animals or little bears, it protects them. It gives them a shield, it helps them out. When the other animals fall out, we try to leave you both satisfied. Yes, this sounds paternalistic, maybe patronising. But it is how I see this. One day, you want just a bit more. You could come to us. You could make your case. Instead, you invite in another bear. A strong bear, but a smaller bear. You tread all over us to let him in, and we have to get rid of him because he could hurt all of us. Let me make it very clear. That other bear isn’t coming anywhere near Electrum. It is not building anything. Especially not anything that can hit us. You still have a way out of this, and the way out is to back down and give us the assurances we need to permit us to help you. Otherwise, be as stubborn as you like, Prime Minister Suarez. Whether it’s for public show or a private display of confidence, I don’t know. I’m going to warn you now though Suarez. Don’t tread on the fucking bear.’ As she opened her mouth to reply, Judge hung up the phone. On that conversation she could dwell as Electrum went to the polls, to decide her future – and the future of her nation.

by **Carialus** » Tue Jul 14, 2015 6:05 pm

Carialus Bugle

Draws, draws, and more draws. That is the only way to describe Carialus' performance thus far. Absolute madness would correctly define Group 7 as a whole. Caos has terrorized the group. There have been far too many draws and far too many upsets. It all looked bright and dandy for the Comrades in the first match, an easy 2-0 win over Augusticinia. The next matchday saw the Comrades Battle 1st seed Mertagne to a 1-1 draw, a certainly impressive result. Then the clouds of war rolled in and narry a person has payed any attention to World Cup Qualifying. When fan support was yanked away, Carialus fizzled out and madness ensued in the group. Matchday 3 was the prime example. Carialus was brought to a standstill by Fhulghamous Penisula while Matthewsiania defeated Mertagne. To add to the mayhem, Blouman Empire drew 0-0 to Augusticinia. The draws would only continue for Carialus as they tied to Matthewsiania in Matchday 4. Soon, low ranked teams were climbing to the top with Mertagne and Blouman Empire also fighting it out to a draw. Matchday 5 layed host to Carialus being crushed 3-1 by Blouman Empire. Unranked and minnows alike were swarming above Carialus' position. Of course, nobody was paying much attention with the war and all going on. Then there was Matchday 6. Everyone drew, were not even joking. Fhulghamous Penisula drew Augusticinia, Mertagne somehow managed to tie Murovanka, Carialus was reduced to a draw against Szavoda, and Blouman Empire was held scoreless by Matthewsiania and vice versa. By then, Carialus had sunk to 6th. As if to give a glimpse of hope, the Comrades destroyed Murovanka 3-0 to end the 1st leg. Now, Carialus is in 5th and an atrocious 2-4-1. Draws will kill you. The group has been wide open and Carialus sunk down instead of going up. This is a dream situation, except Fhulghamous Penisula are the ones that have capitalized on it. However, the Comrades' dispotion is not entirely unattendable. Only four points separate them from the group leaders. You might as well draw straws to find who will qualify. Given the 1st leg, anything, we mean anything, can happen in the 2nd.

by **Valanora** » Tue Jul 14, 2015 6:35 pm

Qualifying is like love, love bites and so do qualifying results.

Results

by **Associated Godlands** » Tue Jul 14, 2015 7:31 pm

News Wrap Associated Godlands

Are you looking for a wrap of today's news in Associated Godlands? Well, you've come to the right place!

Athiest Converted To Christianity! God Proved Real

In a confirmation of what all of Associated Godlands already new, God was proved to exist early this afternoon. That's right, we need proof. You'd think that everyone already given in to the word of The Lord, but no. There are still heathens out there. One less now, though, as one Athiest has converted to Christianity, thereby proving the existence of God. If God didn't exist, why would a heathen see His light? There's some unflappable logic for any Athiests reading this.

Shirley Phelps-Roper agrees: "This obviously is further proof of God's existence, but it's not like we needed any."

God declined to comment.

Interview with Joel Osteen Reveals Shocking Truths

An interview recently done with Associated Godlands National Team's Joel Osteen has revealed shocking truths about the team. According to Osteen, it is suspected that there is a black person on the team. Who, you ask? Osteen doesn't know, but he says that his coach, Shirley Phelps-Roper, "smells" an black person

Shirley Phelps-Roper has expressed negative opinions towards black people. So therefore God hates them.

EDIT: Phelps-Roper has confirmed that she scented a black person.

God declined to comment.

Associated Godlands Draw Again 0-0 with Nurkama

Associated Godlands, in their second match against the heathen nation of Nurkama, has drawed 0-0 for the second consecutive time. It is disappointing, since Nurkama is ranked lower, and since Associated Godlands dominated much of the possession and could have easily won.

"I cannot believe we lost to those godless heathens," says Shirley Phelps-Roper. "This must be because of the black person in our ranks."

God, once again, was unavailable for comment.

by **Recuecn** » Tue Jul 14, 2015 7:49 pm

[OOC: This is my RP for match-day 7.]

"Who's my little girl? Who's my darling girl?' Gerald gently shook Rebecca's pudgy little arm as he spoke. He and his newborn daughter were lying on his queen-sized bed, he on his belly and she on her back, giggling together. "Who gets to play with daddy today? Who's the cutest little football fan and gets to watch daddy's team play on TV tonight? D'awww." He tugged on her infant-sized Recuecian jersey--a tiny version of the excessively flamboyant selection of brilliant colors haphazardly splashed together on the national football kit. She actually made it look good. "Daddy's taking today off just so he can watch with you, sweetheart."

The sound of the front door opening came up from downstairs. "Gerald, I'm home!"

Gerald snatched Rebecca up off the bed and carried her down to the rez-de-chaussée. "We're so happy to see you!" He was beaming as he gave Samantha a kiss and a one-armed hug.

"Daddy sounds like he really enjoyed spending the afternoon with his baby girl," cooed Samantha, returning the kiss, not to Gerald, but to the nose of Rebecca.

"He sure did," said Gerald. "Daddy's very happy he's taking some time off. How was yoru doctor's visit?"

"Oh, just fine. Everything's normal."

"Well, that's good."

"What did you two do while I was gone?"

"We just hung out. I'm thinking of taking her to see the boys at practice. I think she could handle that just fine. The noise levels at the game though would basically deafen her instantly."

"That sounds fun. May I come?"

"Definitely! That's why I took some time off, to spend it with you and Rebecca, instead of always being at the stadium."

"I'm ready to go whenever you are."

"That's it! I can't take any more of this absenteeism! Sooner or later, Gerald's got to decide whether he's on this team or not!" Franky was in a towering rage.

Oliver Spencer wasn't too happy either. "I totally agree. He's disrespecting his teammates, his coach, his nation--and he played last game! What's he doing taking 'paternity leave' now?"

"Well, that's rich coming from you," put in Norman Bright. "You're his teammate too, and even during the season! You of all people should be supporting him."

"Oh yes," sneered Jannick Bechtholdt. "Because Recuecn FC is definitely more important than the team that represents your entire nation!"

"That's the pot calling the kettle black if I've ever heard it!" said Maynard Hebron. "You Association Geneve players are just the same way! It's only the small teams that ever make sacrifices or think of others."

"Oh, sure," scoffed Freeman Lebo. "Let's spend more time arguing over petty RNFL politics. That'll help."

"Shut up!" yelled Luck Pelissier. "You think you're better just because you play internationally! Well, news flash! You're not!"

"Franky slammed his fist on the locker-room bench. "None of this has anything to do with the fact that our best goalie's not here!"

"Best goalie?" Bechtholdt was irate. "I see how it is, you Judas. And I thought being on a team meant something!"

"Certainly not on this one!" said Hippolyte Lavigne.

It was another locker-room dispute for the Recuecian national team. Their failure to win a single game was stressing the players. Now, they were all sitting around the locker-room, waiting for coach Tremblay to show up so they could have their last practice before the last game of the first half of qualifying, and the pent-up crossness was showing. It was reminiscent of the Baptism of Fire, before the team really came together. Now, without Tremblay or Firaut there to keep it together, things were starting to fall apart.

"Maybe our team would be more, erm, harmonious, if you all quit squabbling all the time," said Clint Soto.

"Yeah, it's not even a big deal," said Helies de Malhortye. "Gerald'll have missed what, two games?"

"It's a very big deal!" Jannick Bechtholdt insisted. "You only think it's fine because you have a chance to play for him."

"So do you," said de Malhortye.

"Augh, I can't stand this," said Franky. "But mostly it's him not being here that grinds my gears. During the second half of our baptism of fire run, it seemed he was leading the team well, and I would have even called him my friend, but now... arg, I hate him. Such a douche."

Bright opened his mouth to defend Gerald, but he was interrupted by the opening of a door behind Franky. Franky didn't hear it.

"He's so self-centered!" he continued. "He thinks that everything's about him and Recuecn fucking FC... he basically has Tremblay wrapped around his little finger... He doesn't give a damn about the national team--you can tell by the way he treats us: he never even speaks to us, he thinks he's royalty, he never talks to us... he never bothers taking the time to talk to the media... God, I hate him. What a jerk."

There was silence in the locker-room. The usual chorus of rebuttals in defense of Gerald that would have normally erupted did not. Everyone was staring at something behind Franky. He slowly turned around, turning red as he saw a family standing behind him.

It was the Firauts.

"Shh, don't listen to him." Samantha covered Rebecca's ears.

"Hey guys," said Gerald, smiling. "Who are we talking about?"

Fortunately for the silent circle of men in the locker-room, he didn't wait for an answer.

"Meet Rebecca, everyone!"

The team was more than happy to change the subject. They clustered around the baby Samantha was holding, looking at her like she was some alien object they had never seen before. It was a funny sight, all the strong, muscular football players interested in the tiny baby, slowly rocking in its mother's tender arms. Samantha and Gerald were beaming with pride. Just then, Jacques Tremblay walked in.

"Sorry I'm late, boys," he said. "Time to start pract... awww."

All the players and Tremblay professed their admiration for the baby, as well as her obvious cuteness and infantile beauty.

"We've got a new team member now," said Tremblay.

The bonding moment didn't help the team that night. Gerald left, and the tensions exploded again. Bechtholdt started as Goalie, but 35 minutes in, he got a yellow card. The card followed an own goal by Beck, which led to a dispute between him and Bright and Bechtholdt.

"Why don't you just go play for New West Guiana!?" screamed Bechtholdt. "You're obviously not on our side, you filthy traitor!"

"I said it was an accident! No cut the slander before I come over there!"

"Oh really?" Bechtholdt came out of the box. "Why, you got something to say to me?"

The cameras cut from the quarrel to the Recuecian teams in the stands. Either angry or embarrassed, they alternately yelled at the pitch or held their chins in their hands. The quarrel rose, until the ref gave the card to Bechtoldt. Tremblay, losing his usual calm, yelled at Bechtholdt as he subbed him off and sent on de Malhortye. The commentators didn't know what to think.

By the second half, it was going downhill. The home crowd was booing, Tremblay had used all his subs, and Recuecn was losing to an un-ranked team. Tremblay quit coaching. He sat on the sidelines, his head in his hands. The players practically let New West Guiana play around them as they stood on the field and argued with each other. A second goal put the nails in the coffin.

"This is your fault!" Franky and de Malhortye yelled at each other at the same time.

by **Walkany** » Tue Jul 14, 2015 7:55 pm

"Can you believe?" Fargo shouted. Dean had the largest frown possible on his face. "A two-two game ending in such spectacular fashion! First, a Leones Cleen free kick, then a Ko-orenite Chuluun penalty both just before the half!"

"Quiet down, would ya'?" Dean growled. "We all know the game was only tied up at that point because Poloski had a terrible tackle on Chuluun. If it wasn't for that, we would have been in the lead and possibly could have won the game."

"You think so? Well, what about Anthony Sutherland's fifty-ninth minute bicycle kick to put Ko-oren in the lead? That certainly would have tied it up. Great job by the manager subbing him on for Chuluun at half time."

Dean's hands tightened to fists and the camera could very clearly see him grinding his teeth. "At least we equalized. If it were not for Luke Poloski's redemption header off of Xavi's corner, I would have called for his head! Well... not quite. But you know what I mean."

"Haha! Of course I do, dear Dean, of course I do." Fargo raised an eyebrow at the news crew. "The most exciting part of the game though were the final minutes when Walkany seemed to have chance after chance on goal. I personally hve a new favorite goal keeper: Cláudia Macedo! She made some of the most amazing saves that I, or probably anyone, has ever seen! My favorite was when Leones Cleen beat Nanami Aoki, but could hardly hold her off as she caught right back up with him. Leo had the defender on his right arm and the goal keeper coming to his left. He somehow chipped it high into the air, right into the path of Chris Rolonda. The winger launched a volley at goal and the away fans went into a cheer, just up until Macedo smacked the ball out for a corner. I could not have believed such a thing was possible. Such an amazing save."

Dean wiped what looked like a tear from his eye. "Okay, okay, let's talk about the final goal. Sutherland was moved back to midfield at this point and Millet was taken off for Leroux. We took that corner kick. Bahvahnin headed it out where Daniels took a bad touch on the ball. Volkov stole it and played a ball out wide to Eregrent. The wide midfielder took it up the sideline, seeming to almost skip past David Lucius. At about forty yards out, he crossed it in to Sutherland who went for another bicycle kick from over twenty yards out. He missed, but skimmed it just enough to go out of reach of Mark de Man's head and right into Audrey Leroux's feat. The talented striker took one touch, then another, nutmegging Fil Gones, and slotted it in past Jurgen Coeman, sealing the win for Ko-oren. It still should have been a tie, if not for Poloski."

"It's alright, Dean. We still have six games left! You never know, we could qualify!"

"Yeah, or get invited to the Cup of Harmony again."

"That too! Both sound great to me actually."

"You know what sounds good to me? A malt chocolate milkshake with fries."

"Good thinking, Dean! Alright, folks, we'll see you next time on..."

The two hosts took a big breath before saying together, "The Dean and Fargo Show!"

Eddy Haphazard marveled at the Ko-orenites skill on and off the ball. He found himself time and time again having passes intercepted by Nalaikh Bagaurunir. Then, Celine de Jong would send balls right past him, too fast to keep an eye on, to the midfielders. One of the most frustrating things though was Katherine Davenport. She came out to meet him almost every time he received the ball past the midfield line. It was like trying to outrun a military drone; it was always there. Eddy could hardly breath at the end of the game. It had taken so much out of him, even when they had brought on Alex for Chris near the end to give the team an energy boost. Then, just minutes before the final goal, Ray and Harve came on. Despite Ray having a hard time keeping up with the faster players, he was doing well. Eddy was beginning to like him even. In the locker room, he told everyone how proud he was of the improvement from the last game. He went around to each player that had game time and told them exactly what he thought: they performed at their best and that was all that mattered. Each time Eddy made it sound different, but he made sure they all received the same message. Later, the team ate dinner at an expensive Ko-oren restaurant where Burnie told everyone that he expected just as good of a performance next time at home against Abanhfleft. Just before they boarded the plane that night, Eddy's wife texted him, letting him know how happy she was to see such a large improvement from last time. He told her thank you and that he loved her, but was too exhausted mentally and physically to do much else. Chris and Leo sat next to him for the ride back again, but this time there was not as much talk, just the light breathing of sleep.

by **Super-Llamaland** » Tue Jul 14, 2015 8:46 pm

THIS JUST IN - Traumatized LSN Announcer Fired

by Casey Kendall

After reportedly curling into the fetal position and rocking himself into a gibbering madness last Thursday during the Tigers' two-one loss to Boring Paradise, Llamanean Sports Network play-by-play man George Franco, fifty-six, was fired by a reluctant-seeming LSN.

"While we would usually hesitate to fire an announcer of such high caliber," said LSN spokesperson Tim Francis, shortly after Franco was checked into a mental hospital, "we feel that Mr. Franco's recent actions show that he is emotionally incapable of continuing to announce.

During the eighty-sixth minute of a drab two-one loss to Boring Paradise, Franco suddenly dropped to the ground screaming "I can't take it any more" after Sara Reyshavic once again lost possession by trying to dribble through Paradisian defender John Hall. Horrified broadcaster Jeremy Patterson, Franco's broadcast partner for the World Cup Qualifiers' entirety, quickly managed to cover for Franco, albeit not easily -

JP: Oi George, you okay? And Tristan Karnstedt stripped near the middle of the field, Robbie Webber sprints down the defense but Javier Agudieres clears it out to the left.

GF: *whimpering*

JP: (disconnects mic) Christ. (shouting) Randall, get down here!

RANDALL SIMMONS: Why?

JP: George has gone all weird. Just get down here! (reconnects mic) Apologies for the brief delay, I'm Jeremy Patterson here with George Franco and making this broadcast work we've got Randall Simmons and Derek Keyes.

GF: MAKE IT STOP PLEASE OH GOD

JP: RANDALL!

DEREK KEYES: Randall's in the bathroom!

JP: Ugh! Anyways, Anthony Player sends A PASS INTO THE BOX! Alicia Magnusson gets a foot on it, but she sprays it out of bounds and the oddly-named Osama Homewood punts away the Tigers' chance. Eighty-sixth minute now.

RS: What is it?

JP: Disconnect George's mic from the broadcast, please. He's...in the corner doing some weird (expletive).

(onscreen, George sits up, rigid, and screams)

GF: Tomorrow, the skies will rain ash, the world filling with the screams of the pure and the impure's plotting. The river will flow blood red. Locusts will come. He is watching. He is always watching.

RS: (expletive) (groans)

JP: And Sara Reyshavic dribbles into John Hall again. It's anyone's guess why she hasn't been subbed out yet. Alicia Magnusson looked lost by herself too.

RS: (groans)

JP: Oh for the love of God, George, stop beating him with the mic!

(George abruptly stops beating a bloodied, shaken Randall Simmons and mumbles the word "watching" over and over, slowly crawling back to the corner)

JP: And we'll only have one minute of stoppage, the Tigers' chances look dim...Derek, call security, would you?

by **Polkopia** » Tue Jul 14, 2015 9:55 pm

Snovski Well In Third Place After Close Win Against Kaboomlandia
By: Sebastian Aliyev

We've finished the 9th matchday and the Snovski manage to snag one more win, this time, against Kaboomlandia who proved to be a bit of a nuisance the first match day. Now, traveling to their field, the Snovski had their work cut out for them in order to beat the 337th ranked team. Fortunately for us Polkopians, they prevailed!

It was an exciting game through and through. From the sound of the first whistle, both sides showed their desire to snag up some points here. The first ten minutes were filled with exciting scoring opportunities from both sides, but neither side were able to convert these chances. Serevo actually went 1-on-1 with the keeper and shot it directly at the keeper! It was such a wasted opportunity and Polkopian fans everywhere were devastated when the man dubbed as the 'Snovski Savior' didn't put it in the net.

By the time the halftime whistle sounded, both teams were even in possession, split 50/50. There were more fouls on the Polkopian side, with Krenkov and Bilan each earning a yellow card, while the Polkopians also managed to have more shots on target, with 6 shots on target compared to Kaboomlandia's 4. Still, it was an incredibly close game and we just couldn't wait for the next half to start!

The anticipation for the half to start made the fifteen minute break seemed much longer than fifteen minutes, but eventually, both teams hustled to the pitch and the game resumed. The first few minutes weren't as fast-paced as before, but Kaboomlandia still managed a few more close shots. Polkopia, on the other hand, seemed to die down.

In the 86th minute, however, Bilan and Serevo were 2-on-1 with the Kaboomlandian defenseman, and a through-ball sent by Serevo found its way to Bilan's foot, which he managed to guide around the defender and send it whizzing past the Kaboomlandian keeper and into the back of the net, giving Polkopia the lead late on in the game.

The final minutes were more intense than ever! With Kaboomlandia pressing on and on, threatening to score at any given moment, but their hopes in equalizing the score was dashed when the final whistle blew, ending the game.

Honestly, this was one of the most exciting games I've ever seen from the Snovski. Great teamwork against an underrated team made it absolutely outstanding to watch. Next, the Snovski remain at home, where they will face Starblaydia, whom the Snovski had beat in the away leg. Will things turn out differently for the Polkopians? Only time will tell!

Unfortunately, due to technical issues, we are unable to provide an update on the match report. Please excuse this inconvenience.

by **The Sword Bloke** » Tue Jul 14, 2015 10:13 pm

SHOP OWNER SPEAKS TO THE SWORD BLOKE

"Dear Swordeans,
Unfortunately, our countrymen in Owneristanol are now fearing for their lifes.
A couple of hours ago, Owneristanol was bombed by foolish Guayanbalese soldiers a couple of hours ago. It was a very quiet night before this crazy madness occurred in Owneristanol.
We are furious. 1,961 people are dead, with another 506 injured.
We are now officially declaring war on the Guayanbalese soldiers. As you know, millions of our 'Mosquito Fleet' planes are about to land in San Jose Guayabal. They will invade San Jose Guayabal, kill all the locals and give us more land, thus making us an unstoppable force.

I can also reveal today that our new 'super weapon' will be unveiled in 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...
Here we go now. Our super weapon is the TSB-76. This new gun will self-detonate if not in the hand of a Swordean, will provide the Swordean soldiers with food tablets, and can shoot up to 100m high & 827.4m long. With this weapon, we are guaranteed victory in this war. I am a genius, and now we will win the war!

Thank you my people, I know that we will win this war."

SWORDEAN SHOCK; SUNRISIANS DOWN

Yes, you heard that correct; The Swordeans have defeated the Unified Sunrise Islands. However, the event was in the shadow of the Owneristanol bombing, which happened just 50 minutes after the end of the game last night. We are proud; We are a win clear of Electrum in 3rd place, and are missing out on a playoff spot at the moment on goal difference. Anyways, the match...

The Swordeans won the coin flip in the Sunrisian stadium. The Swordeans were fit and ready to aim their guns at their Esportivan neighbours. And so the game was about to begin. McAldo, straight after receiving the ball from kickoff, ran like he was 19 years younger, passing to Jamie Haigh, his fellow striker who actually is 10 years younger than him. However Haigh does not have the skills of McAldo, and he failed terribly.

27 minutes later, and the mostly Sunrisian crowd went silent. Ormond Langford had the ball in the box, and tricked a Sunrisian defender, causing the defender to slide tackle the net. Langford, not being offside, just tapped it about 5 centimetres to Jells Kondrii, returning from injury, who smashed it into the top of the net. The Swordean crowd went crazy, scoring against a one of the best teams in the world, thus going into the lead. Nobody could believe it; The Sunrisian defensive mistake had cost them, and cost them bad.

The Swordeans were leading at half time, with Shop Owner smart enough to make a whole TV program based around commentators around the world spitting their coffee out at the news the Swordeans had just scored. The Owner told the players to continue playing, and to play for the Swordean soldiers about to bomb San Jose Gauyabal (Unfortunately, this did not happen). The players were fit thanks to their DrinkAde energy drinks, and we're ready to win.

In the 58th minute, the Swordeans were unlucky after getting an offside goal. McAldo was way ahead of a defender after being passed the ball by Jells Kondrii. The Swordeans were spewing, with some international broadcasters making films about Swordeansport fans spewing when the goal was ruled offside. They got another offside goal in the 76th minute, after Jamie Haigh scored a close offside goal after the ball was tapped to him by McAldo. Again, Swordean fans pooped their pants in disgust.

But luckily. The final siren sounded, and the Swordeans were victors. Many Swordean fans went on the field, with the Swordeans a game clear of Electrum in 3rd place, missing out on 2nd after Round 8 with a goal less then the Sunrisians. The Sandwiches from Sandwich Territories are still first in our group. It is okay everybody, we should qualify now.

by **Jeruselem** » Tue Jul 14, 2015 10:14 pm

Princess Lauru (naked) and Jane Sanderson of the Jeruselem team at Dazza Dallas Stadium

Laura: I'm Princess Laura Virginia Dallas for Naked News Jeruselem, once again at the home of Jeruselem for another world cup 72 qualifier. This is Jane Sanderson from the Jeruselem team.
Jane: Hey hi
Laura: Yes well our record at home is pretty crap, no wins. We have two away wins. Doesn't make for good reading really.
Jane: That was the situation, well not anymore.
Laura: Yes, Jeruselem won at home! Yes, the opponent was lowly Viktoria but who cares. It's 3 points and we stay in 3rd. Well JUST
Jane: One of best home games we've played

Laura: Only 2 goals conceded, better than 4 or 5!
Jane: Yes
Laura: Once again the attack led by ... myself, scored 4 or 5. But this time we weren't chasing our tails.
Jane: A great way to begin this 2nd half
Laura: We are still like 7 points behind the top 2 and 1 ahead of 4th, it's still touch and go
Jane: If we can scrape some home wins, we get make some progress

Laura: We had the 4-4 draw with the Holy Empire, which was progress
Jane: But our first home win, that's making some progress
Laura: 2 more goals from myself too, more than the few from last cup
Jane: The attack is really firing, we are best scoring team in group 14.
Laura: Hopefully we can keep on winning, we kinda need to do that
Jane: Given 2nd spot is two wins and more ahead of us

Laura: Jeru FC took on lowly Electrum Diplomatic Offices, and well drew like 0-0 which kind of sucks
Jane: They should win those games, that's two points thrown away
Laura: They defend so well, but the attack is a bit blunted
Jane: Yes, if they just score a few more goals.
Laura: Maybe they defend too much
Jane: We have opposite issue

Laura: Group 14 table doesn't change much with Holy Empire and Sargossa winning easily. 6-3 and 4-2. We had our win and Omerica won too. Well that's the top 4. All the bottom 4 lost today.
Jane: I guess the table is looking less scary for us
Laura: Group 17, well didn't do much either but Legalese won but The Royal Barangay stumbled with 3-3 with Octinstine. Corralejo upset Volcanoc 1-0. The top 4 no change. Jeru FC are still 2 points behind second.
Jane: What a waste, if Jeru FC had won they would have been on same points as The Royal Barangay.
Laura: That is gonna be costly if Jeru FC fail to get 2nd spot
Jane: Yes

Laura: Group 11, Bears Armed scored their 2nd win and are now ... 3rd last. They are only 5 points of third spot so it's not dire for them but I can rule out them taking a top 2 spot on current form.
Jane: It's sad to see them having a bad run
Laura: The Kryties lead the group still
Jane: Amazing for unranked team
Laura: God must love them, alot
Jane: Yes

Laura: How would you rate your performance today
Jane: Better than normal
Laura: What's normal?
Jane: Barely adequate
Laura: I must say, our defense was far more ... active today. A bit more energy and initiative from them.
Jane: They were moving around lot more. I guess they might be learning from Jeru FC

Laura: So mostly we had a good day, Jeruselem anyway. Jeru FC really should have won their game. I look forward to home games now.
Jane: I hope this is a new trend for us
Laura: We still need to win those away games
Jane: Considering our last game is against Holy Empire
Laura: Uh yes, at their home
Jane: We have make the best of our games against other teams.

by **New West Guiana** » Tue Jul 14, 2015 11:13 pm

BNF Bank HQ, Gemsbrook

Todd Zien was at the head quarters of the nations largest bank in hopes that he could potentially persuade the banks CEO Robert Hurst to financially support the team and all of WG Sports despite their $377 million debt they owe to the bank and various institutions.

Sitting outside Hurts office waiting for his secretary to let him in, Zien looking over his prepared speech, and struck out words that may lead to the wrong idea. Zien knowing fully well of the federations massive debt hoped that a new face and new way of thinking could get him over that hump.

After sitting in the waiting room, Zien is told that he may meet Hurst, he walks into the office which is elaborately laid out like studio apartment with a small kitchenette near the door with a small dinning room set , in the middle sits a seating area with two couches and four chairs all arranged in a circle pattern. At the back of the office which is on the top floor of the 57 story building is Hurts desk, with in front two medium sized black leather chairs, behind Hurst lies the skyline of Gemsbrook, with the St, Johns River to the left and the gleaming capital building to the right. Robert Hurst sitting n his chair doesn't show any interest in standing up to welcome his appointment, Hurst is sixty-three bald with light-dark skin, his face is always on the side of absolute seriousness. Zien walks up and introduces himself, "Hello, I'm.."

Hurst interrupts him , No need to tell me who you are, I know very well, I just want to know why you have come here."

Zien despite known for being over bearing and intimidating, finds Hurst quite intimidating himself, "Well Mr. Hurst I simply come here to seek financial support for WG Sports. Now I am fully aware of the federations debts owed to this very institution, however though since taking over of the federation six months ago, I have been slowly turning it around. My goal is to make WG Sports financially solvent in three years. However though.."

Again Hurts interrupts, "However though as shown in the reason for your request for this appointment, you have come here to request yet another loan. I don't really know how to say this lightly, so i'll be blunt, WG Sports is so heavily indebted to this bank we practically own it. The federation owes us alone more than $290 million, and this is just from two loans that mind you were borrowed at a eight point seven percent interest rate. And now you come here hoping to borrow more thinking you'll be digging out of a hole, while in reality you'll be going in deeper. "

"Look I understand, I understand asking for more money has zero sense what so ever, all I'm asking for is that you help give us a chance for redemption. The past Presidents put the federation in to this position by spending carelessly and never showing or shown plans for a future. My goals are planned out and the future I see is bright, all we need is another chance."

Hurst rubbing his chin, "Another chance, that is all you need. Guess what you're about out of these chances, twice now I have heard this same story from the federation, and twice we've seen the results. Look Mr. Zien I am in myself a very powerful in this country, I hold a very powerful position. You, you hold a position that no one in this country really cares about. WG Sports has been for many years to many people dead, the utter lack of management is what killed peoples trust. However though the trust in BNF is pretty damn strong."

"Look Mr. Hurst I believe that my position as the head of our nations national sports teams is quite important too, I may not hold much power, nor the resources that you do, but my job is to make the people of our country proud of something."

Hurst now about to laugh, gets up from his chair and looks out the window, "Understand this, from my point of view you are no bigger than the low life scum that always are on the look out for a easy hand out. You have this idea that you and I are on the same level, I find this extremely hilarious. Eight times in the past two weeks i've had the Minister of Finance and the Minister of Interior in my office asking for information on the accounts of potential anti-government rebels. Twice this week, I've meet with DeCader himself answering questions to the financial well being of several government spearheaded programs." With his hand behind his back, Hurst turns to Zien, "Tell me who is the highest level government official you've meet with this year hmm?" Hurst sitting back down after Zien is un-able to reply, "though so, now I will ask you to leave my office, before I have security throw you out like every day rif-raft.

Not part of the rp, just for me to keep track of.

MD1  Varmelle    w   4-3
MD2  @ Skarosbrekka  w   3-0
MD3  Osarius  L   0-4
MD4  @ Brenecia   T  2-2
MD5  Lymantatia  L  0-1
MD6  The Jeckish Union  L  0-1
MD7  @ Recuecn   W  2-0

MD8   @Varmelle  W  1-0
MD9   Skarosbrekka
MD10  @ Osarius
MD11   Brenecia
MD12  @ Lymantatia
MD13  @ The Jeckish Union
MD14   Recuecn

by **Furellum** » Wed Jul 15, 2015 1:58 am

Levy had returned to his home to write, having gained the information he had wanted from the capital. It would take a while to sort through his notes and study the information, but that was a task for another time. Right now, he still had to complete an earlier chapter in his chronicle on the rise and fall of the Corvidae. He was up to one of the key events of that conflict: the siege of Ingridberg. It had taken him much longer than he had hoped to wring a narrative from the hundreds of scraps of parchment that contained his notes, but he was finally ready to put stylus to parchment and tell the tale.

"The siege of Ingridberg," Levy wrote, "was the culmination of the Corvidae push north up the banks of the Rode. The Corvidae had been chasing the survivors of the Colegium Arcanus, the rulers of Furellum they had deposed. Pursued through the villages and towns of the Rode, the members of the Arcanus left that river and instead made their way west to the river Ingress. From there, they followed the river north to its end at Lake Tragob and the city of Ingridberg.

Their flight had not gone unnoticed however. From Kedziburg more Corvidae soldiers were dispatched north to Ingridberg, while a large number of troops were redirected to the city from the Rode river conflicts. But Ingridberg was not going to fall without a fight.

The Collegium Arcanus had been welcomed in the city, and her defences had been prepared. Ingridberg is well protected, for the city has resisted invasion many times - the Wars of Unification, the Mage wars, the Maalvian Conquest - Ingridberg has defended itself many times in the past. But that was centuries ago, and the Corvidae brought with them many new and powerful weapons from across the great water.

Ingridberg's defensive capabilities are helped by the fact that the city is only accessible by a single road, surrounded by high mountains. The forts and towers along the route were manned for the first time in centuries as the Corvidae approached. The defenders were members of the Ingridberg City Watch, local militia, and Arcanus Loyalists.

The first battle for Ingridberg occurred at Fort Dalin, two leagues from Ingridberg, on the tenth day of summer. The Arcanus loyalists, armed mostly with bows, were met with stiff opposition from the Corvidae battlemages, who had been placed at the front of the army in anticipation of such resistance. With the mages pressing their attack, the loyalists, having no mages of their own, were forced to keep their heads down, allowing the Corvidae foot soldiers to breach the fort. The Loyalists had better success against them, and were able to hold them off at the lower levels for a while. But the Corvidae had superior numbers, and a squadron of enforcers, the Corvidae heavy troops, took the Fort within half a day.

By the evening of the tenth, the Corvidae forces were at the gates of Ingridberg. here though, they were met with more serious resistance. The members of the Collegium Arcanus had spent the time preparing the city's magical protection. As the most powerful wizards in Furellum, they had set around the entire city a magical ward that absorbed all the spells of the Corvidae mages. With their mages useless, the Corvidae resorted to brute force, with an attempt to storm the walls. But the Loyalists, now backed up by mages, forced them back. Thus began the firs of many presses by the Corvidae to the gates of Ingridberg, and each time they were pushed back.

With strong-arm tactics not working, the Corvidae changed pace. They held the road, and the gates of the city were closed. Their mages were then dispatched to go around the city, taking the slow and arduous journey around the cliffs that surrounded Lake Tragob. Their purpose was not to attack the city, but in small groups they acted as sentries, preventing anyone from leaving. With a force at the gates and battlemages roaming the wilds, Ingridberg was under siege."

Levy put his stylus down. He could hear Owin coming, bringing his afternoon supper. There was still much more to writ, but it would have to wait for another time.

by **Albaie** » Wed Jul 15, 2015 2:08 am

The telephone rang in the office of . Mark Deberen looked at it through weary eyes. After so many years the pressure of being Albaie's youngest ever manager had finally gotten to him. It was not just that. All the stress and tiredness that he shrugged of during the war had finally got to him. He stayed awake most nights unable to sleep, worrying that if he did the familiar dreams of his actions at Harlington Hall, Mount Gerton or dozens of other battles would haunt his sleep. This fear of sleeping had led to his frequent nights either spent huddled over this familiar desk drawing up plans for both of his football teams and his brigade in the army or out in the capital trying and failing to keep up with the lives of other rich and famous young people.

Somehow he had thought a girlfriend could relieve some of this stress but the series of rich and powerful young women he had been going out with had only heightened his stress through an increasing series of messy and stressful breakups. He had stopped working almost entirely with the brigade leaving most of the work to ' Lucky ' who himself didn't seem fazed by his increasing workload in all three of his jobs but was taking to it like a fish to water. While he should have celebrated winning the quadruple he had just felt grateful that it was all over and while he presented the fun loving manager at the after parties he had spent a large time afterwards sat alone in his darkened office struggling to cope.

The problem had started about Christmas when at the family estates at Longharbour, he realised how long he had been doing all this work and how little rest he had had in that time. From then on slowly his life began to feel more and more like a chore and his life quickly fell into a dark abyss in which there seemed to be little light. The recent campaign in the World Cup qualifying had done little to help him as he struggled from game to game trying to get back his winning brilliance but after each game it seemed harder and harder to achieve and so far the team only had 6 points out of 21 available points. And with each defeat it only got harder as more people on the street blamed him and he himself blamed himself more for the downturn in fortunes of the team.

He really should of resigned from at least the national team before the qualification period began but he had been too scared that someone would realise he had a problem and the inquisitors would burst down his door and arrest him for shirking his duty to the Emperor. It wasn't just that if they realised how bad his mental problem was he could be incarcerated in a mental asylum and could possibly never see the light of day again.

Mark waited a few more seconds before he picked up the phone. " Earl Mark Deberen of at your service. " Mark greeted who ever was on the other end of the line.
" Mark it is your Emperor. " Mark heard the familiar voice from so many meetings and recordings of hundreds of speeches on the other end of the line.
" Your Highness I didn't realise I apologise. How can I be of service to you Your Most Catholic Majesty ? " Mark replied wondering why the Emperor himself would ever call him at home and not just pass a message to him through Sportern or his brother.
" Mark I'm sure you know that the recent performances haven't been great and I don't care for excuses and I know you have been trying your best so instead of sacking you I'm offering you a sabbatical. You can have some time off to work out your problems and then return to the job and resume it with out any consequences. And you'll be on full pay but this is all I can do in the face of both public pressure and the performances. " Mark listened stunned at the Emperor's offer.
" Is this for all my positions ? " Mark inquired almost thinking this was too good to be true.
" Well at the moment only the national side and the brigade but don't worry it'll only be a removal from the active general list while Mercer fills in until your return if you need it for the Celtic's only ask and I'm sure Mercer can stand in as well. " The Emperor replied his voice filled with relief as he believed Mark was receptive to the idea.
" Your Highness I'll take you up on the offer and may I ask who'll fill in for me ? " Mark replied feeling a layer of tension fall away as one of his problems evaporated.
" You may Mark and if he accepts Sportern will fill in for you while Mercer will carry on in his role as assistant. " The Emperor replied himself sounding even more at ease as his plan came together.
" Thank you Your Highness. " Mark said meaning every word.
" Goodbye Mark and only tell your brother you are ready and you can resume service. " The Emperor replied before the line went dead.
Mark sat in silence for a few seconds in the darkened room wondering if he would ever be able to regain his position with the same brilliance he had started it with. Mark's solace was again broken by a knock at the door. He expected it was just a servant and shouted for them to enter.

Lady Elizabeth Smallwood entered the room through a ray of light emanating from the well lit hallway. She was the daughter of his father's good friend Earl Donald Smallwood and his guest at his house but due to his troubles he had been neglecting her.
" Ah Elizabeth enter. " Mark said switching on his desk's light and straightening up his papers.
" I was just coming to see whether you would like to come with me on a horse ride ? "His guest asked turning looking at Mark with her large hazel eyes. She had asked him the question every day he had been at home during her stay and he had yet to take her up on her offer.
" Actually today I may just do that. " Mark replied standing from his desk knowing that he had to struggle through his troubles in any way possible.

by **Brenecia** » Wed Jul 15, 2015 3:17 am

If you can't win pretty, win ugly.
A win was a win was a win, by this stage - they had four points between themselves and Lymantatia and time was running out to close the gap. But with Osarius and Lymantatia next up, this was a good time for rotation. So there was Urquhart - as always. Colback and Duguid. Given and Duffy. Breton behind Galloway and Kilbane. Cullen, Maddon, Pendragon.
There were a lot of factors to consider - so many. But not enough to excuse anything but a win here.
Scherzer, for instance, had taken a knock in his last game. He wasn't injured, but his club were refusing to let him go - besides, it was 'just' Skarosbrekka, right? Granger could've forced their hand, but this was why she had other strikers. Also, a lot of her players were based in Nephara, a gruelling, long season played at an unforgiving pace. Between league, international, Cup, UICA and CEdC commitments, most of the top Nepharim players for top Nepharim teams played twice most weeks. Connolly was getting older, and played for powerful Brinemouth. She could use the rest.
But Breton couldn't. Older and with the same team, but, well... Granger had a gaping hole in the number four position of midfield. She wanted Fife to do that job, but... well, bluntly, it seemed like Fife wasn't good enough. Breton might be 31, but he played with power, poise, imposing genuine authority on himself and the game. He had to perform if Brenecia were going to make the World Cup, let alone make any impression on it.
A leftback who could properly stake their claim for the position wouldn't hurt, either.
The game started. Thankfully, Breton almost immediately made the difference. Skarosbrekka tried their hardest but the midfield was simply beyond them - Brenecia had more players and they were far better. And Breton, striding through the middle like a colossus, hitting the ball with a casual, easy grace and tackling cleanly and efficiently. Things seemed so fluid around him, and the tide was only going to blow one direction.
And yet, the ball stubbornly refused to get in Klaengursdottir's net.
Granger was starting to get that sinking feeling again. That Brenecia 0-0 Recuecn feeling. Then again, it could always be worse than that - Skarrosbrekka came out for the second half emboldened, and chose to attack down the flanks. Given and Duffy did well to cut off the supply line to leave the Brekkish centre-forwards isolated and frustrated, but... it just seemed like one of those games.
And then Maddon was hacked down just outside the area by Steinmarsdottir.
She limped off, and Granger was left with two feasible options on her bench. The straight swap, Marcia Danmark, who'd been appalling in her last appearance against Receucn. Or, her alternative - put Cullen in the middle and bring on Adelaide Swain, who'd... been appalling in her last appearance against Receucn.
Danmark came on.
Brenecia continued to look dominant in defence, but there were still worried expressions on the faces of Colback and Duguid - sure, they could do a job, but what did it mean if they couldn't put it in at the other end? Well... fortunately, they got their wish.
67th minute, Gerry Duffy's throw-in. It was taken short, to Pendragon, who immediately bombed down her flank. She beat Thordursson with ease but Saebergursdottir had her mark, so she slipped the ball past the rightback to the overlapping Duffy. He turned, got his head up and put his boot through it.
Steinmarsdottir and Eldursdottir looked around, floundering. Where was Danmark?
She'd been hanging back.
And with a powerful sprint into the box, she put her head on the cross totally unmarked, Klaengursdottir sprawling helplessly. Her first goal in the blue - or, well, white today - shirt! A shirt she promptly took off, hurled into the crowd, and got booked for it.
Granger smiled grimly on the touchline. Breton was back, Duffy could do the job and Danmark wasn't broken.
And, of course, they had the three points. Job done.

by **Nephara** » Wed Jul 15, 2015 3:51 am

THE BRINEMOUTH HERALD
'REAL PLAYERS ARE FORGED' - A LOOK AT THE NEPHARIM YOUTH SYSTEM, PART ONE
by August Fairweather

"Hewett! Mackay! Twenty laps! Move it!"
I'm standing in the training fields of the Kurtis Camry Academy. It's famous across the nation, even known across the world, for pumping out high-quality players. But does it do anything differently?
"Truth be told? It's the same approach everywhere that's made Nepharim players strong mentally and physically."
My guide is Bastian Harkens, a stout 51-year old local and one of the veteran coaches at the academy. He was a hard-tackling rightback in his day, but coaching renewed his passion for the game.
"See, it's all about mentality. Other nations - I've been to other nations, seen their shit, not always impressed - but you see these players come in. For their scholarships. Like it's some kind of university. But that's not what it is, is it?"
I nod. Harkens is the type of man who inspires silent agreement.
"These are kids off the West Sabrefell streets. Any background is welcome here, but our catchment isn't the most affluent. It's not a problem at all, it's a fact. Foreign academies use 'scholarship', but that's not how it should be. This is an apprenticeship."
"What do you think the difference is?"
He pauses for thought. "In a word? Respect."

In Nephara, apprentices might share some facilities with the senior players, but they aren't equals. Not yet.
"Yeah, I've seen, like, Curio and Martell and Peterson and all them through the corridors, seen 'em training across the fields." Kilroy Hewett, a 17-year old rightback and the transgressor from the start. A bright, chirpy ginger with a light layer of stubble. "I seen the seniors, players worth millions, but it's not like I could just go up for a chat. That ain't my place, is it?"
Con Temple, a 19-year old midfielder who's just subtly nudged into the conversation, nods. "It's true. You got to earn your place, got to earn everything. Nothing gets given to you out there in the real world, and you don't get coddled from all that here."
There's many reminders of this. You aren't expected to talk to the seniors, you mostly keep out of their way. If you're given a first-team squad number while a teenager, your squad number's in the thirties. It keeps you in your place.
Hewett nods firmly. "Stops you from getting a big head, thinking you can take on the world, maybe thinking you're better than you are. You hear that a lot about foreigners who get given it all too soon, but not so much here."
I ask Temple if he can make the grade for the senior team, and he cheerfully shakes his head. "Nah, mate, reckon the coaches think I'm set for the second or third tiers. I'm playing in the reserves this year, but they took me aside this year, real personal, and told me I wasn't gonna be offered a new contract. So they're most likely gonna get me offloaded for a fee next window. Can I complain? 'Course not! I had a great chance here, best facilities in the country, did the best I could. I'm gonna be the best player I can be. And I'm already a professional. But not everyone's a Christener, a Penrooke, a Cliving."
It's all in the mentality. That's the resounding message - keep 'em honest and build 'em up. But what about on the pitch? What about the reserve leagues?
And, most importantly, what about when the wheels come off and things go wrong?

works? · by **Abanhfleft** » Wed Jul 15, 2015 3:52 am

CRESCENT NEWS NETWORK
SPORTS CHANNEL - OFFICIAL WEBSITE
ABANHFLEFT • PRIDNESTROVIA • OONTAZ DERT LI NG • COPPER CUPRUM • TRENDSTART • FHULGHAMOUS PENINSULA

WORLD CUP 72 QUALIFIERS: SAN JOSE GUAYABAL VS ABANHFLEFT
By Malik Qazizadah

Players of the San Jose Guayabal national football team line up to take a free kick. Abanhfleft finally tallied their first loss in the competition following a 6-4 goalfest loss in San Jose Guayabal's Estadio Nacional Barrio El Niño. (Courtesy of Crescent News Network Sports Channel/Ulysses Turogo)

MELENDEZ, SAN JOSE GUAYABAL - It was a game that will be remembered forever for all the right and wrong reasons. Abanhfleft was holding steady on top of Group 12 with a 4-point advantage over their nearest fellow contenders San Jose Guayabal, who were at 13 points and looking to move closer to that top spot. Whoever came out of this game the winner would have a better chance at going for the top, whether it be Abanhfleft of San Jose Guayabal.

At first it looked like there were going Abanhfleft's way once again, as Alexandra Rousseau banged in the screamer from 24 yards just half an hour into the game. Fleftic fans' cheers echoed throughout the Estadio Nacional Barrio El Niño, which had been specifically designed to amplify fans' cheering and shouting.

But then something switched on within that San Jose Guayabal team, and they burst out of the stands coming into the half-hour mark. Rodolfo Zelaya nodded in the ball following a cross from Jonathan Faña. It was just the first of four goals that the Guayabalense forward would net in this game.

Sean Fraser added his name to the scoresheet just four minutes later, slotting in the rebound from a saved Faña shot.

And the goals just kept on coming. For a brief two-minute period it looked like Abanhfleft had forgotten to defend, and the Guayabalenses took full advantage. Fraser bagged his brace three minutes after his first goal, and Zelaya also got his second just two minutes later, and the Lady Revolutionaries found themselves 4-1 down coming into half-time, a situation that Abanhfleft had not faced since September 1993 against Pridnestrovia.

Things looked really bad for Abanhfleft. After a string of impressive victories against the top nations of the multiverse in Group 12 it looked like they were about to crash and burn big time in San Jose Guayabal. But then an unlikely hero stepped up for the Lady Revolutionaries: Bella Maynard. The midfielder from Ludogorets Markovsky rallied a lagging Fleftic side by shooting twice from range and converting both times. Maynard's performance against all odds seemed to reinvigorate Abanhfleft, and soon the Lady Revolutionaries were back in form.

But Rodolfo Zelaya had other plans. He struck home a free kick from 31 yards to bag the hattrick and extend San Jose Guayabal's lead once again, and yet again the Fleftic attack faltered. But yet another Fleftic stepped up for her country in its time of need, and she was Allison Torres, who banked in her own free kick from 35 yards to keep Abanhfleft in contention once again.

But San Jose Guayabal were simply not to be denied today. Zelaya played spoilsport for the Lady Revolutionaries and ended Abanhfleft's four-game winning streak by netting his fourth goal of the day.

Abanhfleft will go on the road once again, this time to Walkany for the two teams' second matchup in the World Cup qualifiers.

Abanhfleft midfielder Bella Maynard claimed in a post-match that San Jose Guayabal "wanted the win more than [Abanhfleft] did," and that it was "hard to recover after the opposition scored four past [the team] in nine minutes." (Courtesy of Crescent News Network/Mark Featherstone)

          SAN JOSE GUAYABAL 6 - 4 ABANHFLEFT
ZELAYA (29', 38', 70', 86')       ROUSSEAU (15')
          FRASER (33', 36')       MAYNARD (54', 59')
                                  TORRES (82')

ABANHFLEFT
GK: 01 Carter
RB: 02 Osgood █ (Heaton - 69')
CB: 03 Jackson █
LB: 04 Valentine █ (Warren - 52')
RW: 07 Prescott
RM: 05 Maynard
LM: 06 Choi █ (Vance - 69')
LW: 08 Singh
CAM: 09 Torres
RS: 11 Stuart
LS: 10 Rousseau

SAN JOSE GUAYABAL
GK: 20 Terrazas
RB: 05 Salume
CB: 04 Passarelli
LB: 03 Moreira █
CDM: 10 Valencia
RM: 02 Núñez (Camilletti - 60')
LM: 09 Saucedo
CAM: 16 Bregoo
RW: 02 Faña █ (Richtie - 73')
CF: 11 Zelaya
LW: 22 Fraser

MATCH STATISTICS
Possession
San Jose Guayabal: 52%
Abanhfleft: 48%
Shots
San Jose Guayabal: 20 (13 on target)
Abanhfleft: 11 (7 on target)
Corners
San Jose Guayabal: 18
Abanhfleft: 9
Fouls
San Jose Guayabal: 5
Abanhfleft: 10

WORLD CUP QUALIFYING GROUP 12 TABLE

P Group 12                           Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Abanhfleft                           8    5   2   1    22   15   +7    17
2 San José Guayabal                    8    5   1   2    24   15   +9    16
3 Ko-oren                              8    5   0   3    11    5   +6    15
4 Sameba                               8    3   3   2    16   15   +1    12
5 New Wolfopolis                       8    3   2   3     8   14   −6    11
6 Walkany                              8    3   1   4    15   15    0    10
7 Gabbindon and The Liffan Isles       8    1   2   5    13   23  −10     5
8 Nurovo                               8    1   1   6     9   16   −7     4

by **Fhulghamous Peninsula** » Wed Jul 15, 2015 4:34 am

CRESCENT NEWS NETWORK
SPORTS CHANNEL - OFFICIAL WEBSITE
ABANHFLEFT • PRIDNESTROVIA • OONTAZ DERT LI NG • COPPER CUPRUM • TRENDSTART • FHULGHAMOUS PENINSULA

DICKINSON HAMADA: ARSENAL DE RELEINTHI DEFENDER SIGNS FOR MARINOS THIMPODOPOULOS

Dickinson Hamada holds up a Marinos Thimpodopoulos shirt in an official photoshoot for the club. The 29-year-old defender joined the Fhulghamous Peninsula-based side from Arsenal de Releinthi for a three-year deal and a reported fee of NS$3.5 million. (Courtesy of Crescent News Network Sports Channel/Ulysses Turogo)

PORT THIMPODOPOULOS, FHULGHAMOUS PENINSULA - Center back Dickinson Hamada has joined Marinos Thimpodopoulos from Arsenal de Releinthi on a three-year deak for a reported NS$3.5 million.

Hamada, 29, moved to Arsenal from Pridnestrovian Super League side FC Vorpommern Nyqvist in 2010 for a reported NS$900,000 and scored 16 goals for 89 appearances for the Gunners.

He was part of the the Arsenal side that won the MPL Conference Trophy a year ago but spent most of the campaign as a seldom-used substitute.

His chances became limited as Gunners' manager Godric Wexler added the likes of Tommasso Perugiani and Ragnar Sigurdsson to his defensive options, and the emergence of Evangelos Christodoulopoulos and Ian Sippel in center back complicated matters further.

Orestes Katsouranis, Jr., manager of Marinos Thimpodopoulos, said that Hamada had been a club target since rumors circulated last year that he had requested a transfer.

He added: "Hamada is a player we have been following for a long time. He is an essential piece for our coming Premier League campaign, what with his experience in the league with Arsenal. We think, no, we know that he will serve our club for many years."

by **Vangaziland** » Wed Jul 15, 2015 4:59 am

It came time for the press conference for the Vangaziland-Chiata game. Most of the team gave brief comments. They all gave hints. "Ask the coach" had been the moniker in the locker room.

Now the coach and Avery Hax, a benchwarmer from a nation ranked 313th, sat in front of the international media. Avery gave his description of the game. It was close. It took good teamwork and lots of planning to score against Chiata. But he stressed that he had another point.

"I think the Chiata news media thinks they can control the world." A smirk fought multiple appearances as he spoke. "When they won, it was a national movement that was obviously going to be a blowout. A friendly? But that was also a close game. I'm just glad the Chiata media got caught exaggerating about how badly they beat us last time. Maybe they shouldn't exaggerate two goal wins."

The coach tried not to say too much and said he wasn't sure if he agreed with Avery, but it was the elephant in the room in front of the entire world stage. It had to be brought up.

"We played keep away the entire first half." The coach's bitter sarcasm drew laughter from the crowd of reporters. Yes, that did seem to be how a lot of winning games happened to be reported nowadays.

The game reminded Avery of a time in Wrexwic. As he looked into the camera and smiled a twisted smile, memories flooded back to him.
----

"Six this is seven, first squad has entered the perimeter," The platoon sergeant yelled over the radio. It was really unnecessary. Besides the speaker, the lieutenant could hear the EOD dog barking. Hax's callsign was Green six. His platoon sergeant was green seven. 6 and 7 for short.

He saw his men running in front of him and staggered alongside him. They were moving through a street flanked by rows of simple, cheap-looking two story homes. Tall fences separated each home. At the end of the street was a larger house surrounded by a concrete wall.

A simple ladder from the side of one of the company vehicles was used to breach the compound.

Then the lieutenant remembered hearing glass breaking. They were entering from a window. Now his team caught up to the ladder. He watched several men go up and over the short, green ladder.

Down the road more soldiers hit one of the smaller homes. The sounds of them breeching the chain-link fence echoed in Hax's ear as he moved along the house and into the relative darkness inside the home. It had been a midday operation under a bright, but chilly sun.

There was a lot of shouting, some coming from upstairs, some coming from the next room.

After passing the narrow hallway, he saw a group of three men. Their arms were behind their backs, tied by plastic flexcuffs. Vannish military policemen stood watch over them.

This was a combined operation with the Wrexish militia and the Vannish Army Military Police. There was no civil police force in this rural part of the nation. The men in this house had done some bad crimes and thought they would never get caught. Well now, they would have to answer.

The men were stood up and carried outside. More men were brought from upstairs. As the officer, Hax monitored all, radio traffic occasionally buzzing over his MBITR.

All in all, it was a long days work. They had to drive from their base, way out to isolated village. It would be a long drive back. But they got the win.

by **Jeru FC** » Wed Jul 15, 2015 5:30 am

Jeru FC coach Major Trooble and defender Thesis Howedo

TH: Coach, who's that new Naked News girl we saw with money girl today
Major: She's a trainee Naked News girl
TH: She seems to know you
Major: Yes, she does. I kinda made her.
TH: Oh, that's your daughter. Well, she's very sexy
Major: I know

TH: Not as sexy as the Princess but hey she's pretty hot
Major: Don't you get funny ideas
TH: She wasn't wearing anything, hard not to notice
Major: Well that's what happens when you work for Naked News Jeruselem
TH: Us boys will be nice to her
Major: She wanted to work on TV, so I couldn't stop her

TH: Best news network to work for I say
Major: I wasn't that keen on her idea but she's her own woman now
TH: I hope she gets to work with us
Major: I don't know, you lot aren't the best behaved males I know
TH: We love our women. Except for that one of us.
Major: Oh yes, that guy.

TH: Any news about our future?
Major: No, this could be our last.
TH: I don't want to go back being cannon fodder
Major: I don't have a say myself
TH: I suppose our recent effort wasn't exactly encouraging
Major: No, not very helpful. We're supposed to win those games

TH: I'm a defender, I'm no good at scoring goals
Major: Hey at least you tried
TH: Well, they were a bit off target those shots
Major: At least you made an effort, unlike some of our lazy strikers
TH: I'll stick to stopping goals
Major: But we need to score a few more if we're gonna make the finals

TH: I tell ya, I watched some of that Jeruselem game. I wish our offense had a bit of passion about them.
Major: I think it's more like job to to our boys. That Princess Laura throws the kitchen sink at defenses. She's a bit mad but then she's scoring goals.
TH: We just need for attackers to have a bit of commitment to the cause
Major: Like the old Jeru FC teams, shit defenders but could score goals.
TH: Yes we defend well but can't score for shit
Major: I guess we don't the balance as yet

TH: Hey, well. Send around your daughter. That will encourage us
Major: I don't trust you lot at all.
TH: What could go wrong?
Major: Princess Laura has kids, to guess who
TH: But that's him, he's got no self control near women.
Major: Yes but you lot aren't much different

TH: She's safe around the Rainbow guy
Major: Apart from him
TH: No idea how he got into the team
Major: Well, dunno how the team got picked in first place.
TH: Err yes, we don't understand that ourselves.
Major: You are a strange lot

by **Electrum** » Wed Jul 15, 2015 6:09 am

A debate room in Centralis

Janine Connell: Good evening everyone, and this is the start of a marathon four-hour long debate, from now, 7PM to 11PM, exclusive on Network ENN. After that, we will broadcast an analysis show. Right now, we have invited parties from all aspects of the political spectrum on this snap election, which will be held next week. In this historic double snap-election, where all of the seats in the House of Representatives, and all of the seats in the Provincial Senate, instead of half, we will determine who will lead Electrum into these troubling times, and to manoeuvre Electrum diplomacy. I, Janine Connell from the Centralis Herald will be moderating this debate, and a quick reminder of the rules, 30 seconds introduction to your party, before we get to the first question. From left to right, physically of course, not politically: Jane McCallahan, Liberty Party, Alan Rickus, Electrum Nationalist Party, Sam Myers, Pirate Party-Surprise Party-Party Party Party Alliance, Daniel Waters, Family Principles Party, Nick Wood, Conservatives Party, Cynthia Suarez, Labour Party, Laina Li, Country Living Party, Marco Lombardi, Greens Society, and of course representing the new party: Simeon Jones, New Centrist Alliance. Alright, thirty seconds, from left to right, go!

Jane McCallahan, Liberty Party: Ladies and Gentlemen, today, we represent the mediating voice for liberty, co-operation and respect. We have been in the governing coalition for four terms now, so you can trust our party to be a safe pair of hands to guide Electrum through crisis, such as the one we have now. At the end of the day, you can-not beat the Liberty Party's success in the Economy, International Relations and Culture -- all important aspects of our party. We stand for liberty for all, and you can trust us to defend your rights to have the liberty of safety within Electrum. We will make sure we will find a solution which will fit all parties.

Alan Rickus, Electrum Nationalist Party: Aha! You see everyone at home, you thought we were wingnuts, with our ideas of immigration being denounced by the major parties, this election I just have one question --- can we trust other nations? Can we trust Eura not to invade? Can we trust Valladares to not do anything else that is harmful? No. What we propose is an immediate tearing down of the free trade agreement with Eura, to punish them economically for threatening the Electrum people. We propose to deport all Valladar citizens from Electrum, as they are taking up homes, health and other government services that Electrumites can use far better and more wisely. Electrum is for Electrumites, not for Eurans, not for Valladarians. We are open to supporting the Sargossan people to helping our borders, and for us to redevelop our military into a true power.

Sam Myers, PSP: Ladies and gentlemen, we have seen the major parties characterise this snap election as ones on international relations, but really, this is all a diversion from reality, as we've seen yet more and more oppressive bills being passed by this government. We have seen the entrenchment of copyright claims in court, we have seen the tax-free exemption status of the evil Church of Iesus Christus in Electrum, and we have seen the lowering scientific standards in schools. It's time that the voters recognise that the major parties, such as the Greens, Liberty, Labour and Conservatives aren't all what they're cut out to be, as they all agree on the same things. The PSP will ensure a more rational society governed by only the smartest people, and not career politicians. This time, send them a message. Electrum is anti-war.

Daniel Waters, Family Principles: I am glad to be here as the new leader of the Family Principles, and I would just like to say, just how rude Sam Myers was to the Christian people of Electrum. We are here to defend the rights of families, and to stop the immoral behaviour which has gone on under our noses. We are steadily moving away from the Bible, and wholesome Christian and family beliefs which underpin how our society works. We've seen the wicked ways of the Greens to, who thanks to them want to hold a snap election, wasting tax payers money. It's time that we outlawed these radical parties, and come back to sensible Christian politics. We would also like to support a further expansion of our military, with conscription, to ensure that the youth of Electrum appreciate that it is a privilege to be an Electrumite.

Nick Wood, Conservative Party: I have been in recent negotiations with the Labour Party, and we would like to say that we support their policy whole-heartedly so far in terms of international relations. Sadly, we have seen their incompetence with their failure to plan for the drought which they already knew about when they were swept into office, but they decided to do nothing about it until now. It just sickens me that these lefties would rather care for themselves in their seats, whilst not helping those that need it the most in our rural communities. We have seen real economic wastage and debt, and we must have some austerity to rebalance the books. Our economy is growing, but it is still hanging heavy with debt. The deal with Sargossa is just one creative solution for us to generate more money.

Cynthia Suarez, Labour Party: The Labour Party and it's government were unfairly booted out of office by the nasty Greens, who refuse to look beyond principle and have instead pandered to their ideology. They are a bunch of idealists who have no idea how the real world works. What I have to say is this -- we were never given the opportunity to deliver our full mandate, and whether the other parties like it or not, we have to stick together in this crisis. My door, as I said, has been open in this crisis, but we haven't heard a single peep from Valladares, and Eura has been bullying our ambassador. For years, we have been suffering under those two countries, and it's time we unshackle ourselves and remove our reliance for them. A new strategic partnership is not scary. They are scared of a new paradigm. Let's send them a message that Electrum is a nation that is loud and proud of its people and borders, and most of all, we must protect our hard-working farmers who make food for the entire nation.

Laina Li, Country Living Party: It is absolutely despicable that the Rio Oscuro government would dare to cut Electrum's supply of water to a pitiful amount, especially after knowing about the drought in Electrum. If we get into power, we will ensure that the farmer's voice is united and heard, away from the party partisan politics we keep hearing about. We will pressure Valladares and we will support a boycott of Quebecois products and will want to remove every contract we've done with them. We are in the midst of a drought, and it just seems they want to ignore the human impact, and instead focus on money and themselves. The Rio Oscurans are selfish people, and we must deal with them in a diplomatic way.

Marco Lombardi, Greens Society: The Labour Party have shown their true colours. They have shamed the nation, they have turned their back against the Constitution, which explicitly forbids us from doing any drastic action in terms of the military. We were promised a greater emphasis on the environment, only for the free trade deal, mining consortium deal, and the desalination plant deal all to go through, at the expense of the environment. This crisis was just the last straw, which is why we had to not back this government anymore. I know, for the people at home, that this was a rough deal, I understand that, but the government needed to be told that they couldn't take the voters for granted. We are a peace loving nation, and we must abide by those principles.

Simeon Jones, New Centrists Alliance: Alright, so you've heard those eight other parties, and no doubt, you will hear many more advertisements for the dozens or so other parties which were not represented in this debate. We want to focus on the Liberty Party -- they have strayed far too much from their ways. They have been in power for too long, and Electrum politics needs a reset. We want to see less partisan politics, more compromise politics. We want to see a mixture of both capitalist principles and socialist principles, we want a fairer Electrum economy where the very best can work their way up the pay scale. We want to see an end to the fight with Eura and Valladares. We want international co-operation, we want a better environmental standard for projects in Electrum. Vote Centrist -- and you won't regret it.

Janine Connell: And those were our major parties with their thirty second speeches. Now, onto the first question....

by **Super-Llamaland** » Wed Jul 15, 2015 7:45 am

Game-After-Mid-Qual Grades

Jared Finch - B. He’s given up six goals in four games, a decent tally, and he’s looked calm and composed in the box. The issue, of course, is that a thumb injury has had him sit out a few times, and he hasn’t looked the best he can be. Perhaps this will be the Cup that the 32-year-old Finch will finally click. Hopefully a nice break can back him back on the pitch at full strength.

AJ Ramires - D+. Yes, he was the fifth-choice keeper before McNeal, Ferguson, and Kudlowski all found themselves unable to start the qualifiers for whatever reason (retirement, injury, injury) - but honestly, seven goals in three games against Nandezia, Timbermunich, and the Fallenmark Islands (who combined for thirty-three in their other eighteen, hardly a devastating clip) is just bad - and he’s looked lost on the pitch at times, too. I can’t wait until Annabeth Kudlowski can play.

Tanner Blanton - C. A new-look option after Finch proved to still be not at full strength and Ramires not really that good, Blanton had a mediocre game, making a few nice saves but ultimately not really looking that good. A decent stopgap, but not one I’d like to see more often.

Adrian Carmichael - C-. He’s had a few matches where he’s been a solid left-back and performed admirably (albeit providing nothing towards offense), and he’s also had a few matches where he wanders around and pretends he’s a wing-back. He’s not a wing-back, Carlton. I thought you knew this already. Carmichael’s a good defender, but he doesn’t fit the 5-3-2 (unless you shift him or Myers over to center back - then it’s anyone’s guess what would happen.)

Steven Meng - A-. He’s looked pretty good in his, what, three caps? Seriously, play this guy more. He’s a real wing-back. Carmichael is not. He’s also actually good at defense. There is no real reason that he isn’t starting over Carmichael.

Sebastian Myers - A+. At times he’s been holding the defense together single-handedly, and anyone who was saying that he couldn’t lead a defense has a lot of egg in their face; he’s turned in brilliance consistently. Myers is one of the four best Tigers defenders in history - Robertson, Nelson, and Reagan the other three. We’ll see how many of those he can surpass.

Javier Agudieres: C. Is it Javier’s fault that he’s lost a step? Well, sort of. But even though he’s had numerous knee injuries, he’s a solid sweeper-type defender and has kept out a few goals. Not as mobile as he used to be, but not bad in the center - but he hasn’t really faced any premium opposition, having rested against the Quebecois. Except for Boring Paradise, who he looked horrible against.

Alex Bale: B for Bale, I guess. He’s been a good option when the Tigers want something more attacking, and he’s a good two-way player - able to start plays and run back to defend. Also a useful guy to have on set pieces - he’s really done nothing special though.

James Smith-Reynolds: B-. Whenever he plays I realize that Adam Bay is better than him and this makes me sad. He’s shown a lot of promise, and he’s a very intelligent defender, but at times he’s too ballsy and spends much of his time backtracking.

Michael Herleksson: C+. Herleksson, on the other hand, is more reserved, but he’s nowhere near fast enough to be a regular on the international stage. You may be thinking, “they complement each other, why not put them both on at once?” Please stop thinking this. “But it’s a good idea,” you protest.

Here’s Noel Andezia on the break. He manages to evade the efforts of Stanton and sprints forwards a few steps - Nikhil Andezia streaking dangerously down Nandezia’s left wing, and James Smith-Reynolds takes a few steps towards him. Andezia shoots a long pass - Herleksson and Smith-Reynolds go towards it and they inexplicably freeze in place for a moment and it squirts by them - Nikhil Andezia sprints behind them and takes the ball, Smith-Reynolds’ tackle is absurdly late, out comes AJ Ramires, Andezia easily gets past him and slots it home! One-nil Nandezia!

Yeah. It’s not.

Tristan Karnstedt: B+. This is a high grade, but I’m still kind of disappointed. He had so much hype coming in you’d swear Trevor Duncan had opted for a different position, but instead we’ve seen somebody who’s been consistently above-average. There’s certainly nothing wrong with that, but I don’t see in him the potential to be a star. Still, he’s a goal-scoring threat and a speed dervish - the guy can actually defend sort of, too.

Sagan Myers-Briggs: Incomplete. Myers-Briggs improved a ton since WC71, but for some reason has barely gotten any playing time. I’d like to see him at CB a few times.

Kyle Rainier: F for f***ing horrible. I didn’t see this coming, and apparently nobody else did, but Rainier has looked utterly lost on the pitch. He’s so bad that Hoover has thought about trying Sara Reyshavic if he doesn’t want his LM to be a winger-type player like Stanton or Kerraway.

Lily Stanton: A. Stanton has been dangerous all around the pitch, and there’s no reason to think she’s going to stop. Her speed, among the best on the team, isn’t her strongest asset; that’s a young-Cartwright-esque ability to find gaps. She’s netted three in the qualifiers already, and I predict many more down the line.

Orson Kerraway: Incomplete - He’s played one game. Granted, he looked really good in that one game and could spell either wing late, but that could easily be a fluke, just like Reyshavic’s performance (below) could be a fluke. I do want to see more of him. He’s using the best of his diminished speed and, although he’s not the athlete he was a Cup ago, he’s a LOT smarter. This is something I didn’t think I’d be saying about Kerraway.

Sara Reyshavic: D - I haven’t seen enough of her to form a real opinion, but from what I’ve seen I don’t really want to. She’s too slow for this Tigers team, and she struggled in her best start. In her start against Boring Paradise, I winced whenever she touched the ball.

Jake Raburn: Another ill-deserved incomplete. Raburn is a far better alternative to Sara Reyshavic and his style can be easily adapted to fill in the hole left by Tobias Dickinson’s injury at CAM.

Tobias Dickinson: A-. The minus is because we’ve relied on him so much that when he was injured, we’re likely screwed over unless Jake Raburn can seriously step it up. When he’s been on the pitch, though, he’s deadly and unselfish at once.

Anthony Player: A solid A. Player has been everything we wanted him to be - brilliant central playmaker, good cornerkick taker, decent covering for somebody on defense. Think Kyle Sturgeon, but faster, better, and stronger.

Michael de Vries: Incomplete. Who?

Sebastian Inriquez: Has barely played, which is very unfortunate as he could easily fill in for Stanton/Rainier or try his hand at being a striker. I don’t think he’s being used correctly on the bench - he’s too good.

Alex Cartwright: A. Excellent poacher, super-sub, and he’s not as slow as we expected (despite not playing as often as Kristopher Nilssen.) Already he’s scored five goals, an impressive tally.

Kristopher Nilssen: C+. Bad luck with Nilssen so far, who has had a lot of great chances but, despite having the talent, can’t seem to convert. It’s a pity, but he’ll be able to bounce back for sure.

Alicia Magnusson: Incomplete. Despite arguably being more athletic than Nilssen and just as good of a finisher, Magnusson hasn’t gotten as many starts as she deserves. She looked poor against the Paradisians but good against the Fallenmarks before mid-qual.

Other Strikers: We have other strikers? With the exception of Peter Masters, who turned back the clock for two goals in two starts, nobody has made an impact with the exception of Chandler Southwick, whose high-efficiency posterior has raised the bench’s temperature by a few degrees.

by **Nassau-Hessen** » Wed Jul 15, 2015 9:22 am

Chubbs Doubles Up, Roper Doubles Down

Hessen Gain Ground From Lower Pack

Prusy Krolewskie (Royal Prussia) 0–2 Nassau

Much anxiety rested on the already over-encumbered Nassauite roster, perhaps even more so than at the initial Match Day. At a crossroads, and with a fervent desire to disrupt recent mediocrity, the Hessen are looking up to their coveted objective of getting within the top seventy in rank. Some of the players are even wild enough to dream of ascending from the deathly abode of the Runner Cup. These fantasies remain plausible after half one, but the obstructions in the road to realizing this mental conjuring are both numerous and varied.

Perhaps the primary of these imminent challenges are not the veteran shoe-in Audioslavians (despite their tendency to drop crucial matches), but rather the hidden snares of underdogs, those overlooked, such as Bacclieu, Maretta, and Arcantova. The Hessen have personally dropped two of three to these scrappers, and they continually provide strife to the aspirant teams of the Beltane. Throughout the first half of the qualifiers, expected losses did occur against the top two ranked nations of the group (even against Nova Anglicana, who the Eagles have historically plagued). A pleasant surprise, however, was the stellar shutout by Brambler against the Watfordian Hornets in a narrow one to nil victory down in Greater Watford. With the expertly weaved score that Zarambaga kicked in, that game is popularly deemed the pinnacle of the first half. Of course, this was merely followed by two poor losses. After facing the underdogs, Brambler let in six goals in two games and was subsequently benched for the action-starved Sandy Roper.

However, despite all that strife, there seemed to be one underdog team that the Hessen were able to suppress consistently: the recent BoF entrant of Prusy Krolewskie (roughly translating to Royal Prussia in Kuzaki, so for linguistic convenience sake, we'll refer to them as such). They were the first match out of the break for the Hessen, and with Roper in net, both confidence and anxiety were at high point, for second place is ripe for the chasing of the Anglicans. With the offensive duo of Chubbs and Zarambaga beginning to slowly age past their prime, the point of retirement was seemingly fast approaching. The U20's duo of Lightfoot and Tolk are anticipating a soon foray into the roster, Chubbs and Zarambaga must make their golden years elongate.

Chubbs age, however, would have to show its effects another day. Right out of the gate, after a see-saw battle in each zone, Blanco was able to break away from the defensive line of the Pruski's and sink one into the low right corner past Kwietniewska in the 23rd minute. Advantage: Hessen. A close opportunity came in the 34th for the Reprezentacja Pruski, when a chip shot from Zajaczowski dinged off the left post and into a centered juicy rebound right to Katarzyna Grzywinska. Unfortunately for Katarzyna, Sandy Roper stuffed the rebounded shot in stellar manner. A few corner kicks here, a few wide shots there, and before one would know it, half-time arrived.

Coming out of halftime, the Hessen representation learned two things: firstly, they had the advantage in veterans and could exploit this factor. Secondly, attempting to pronounce complex Pruski names gave Nassauites a legitimate chance of instantaneously vomiting. Nevertheless, Chubbs made a drive through the defensive line early once again, only this time with the outstanding aid of Merima Rumble in the form of a long pass. Blanco bolted the ball into the twine in order to distance the Hessen from the Prussians in score by two just before the 50th minute. For the next twenty minutes, the game proceeded as it had in the first half, which is to say in a tough stalemate. Finally, during the 70's, the Eagles broke out into an offensive spurt. Bolgorro and Tworidge made convincing approaches to the net, but both of their efforts ended in a shot just outside the right post (Bolgorro shot in proximity, Tworidge nearly headed a corner from Zarambaga). With time fast expiring, the Pruski's were forced to augment the pressure on their fellow Germanic opponent and reverse the Hessian onslaught. Much to the dismay of the Royals, the chances in this pressure could not equal the opportunity in the 34th minute, as Roper collected his first World Cup qualifier shutout at a packed Stadion Heinemeyer. Surprisingly, no cards were consigned in the match.

The victory proved to be beneficial for the Hessen, as Greater Watford suffered at the hands of Maretta, and hence the Hessen were able to break from the lower pack at a .500 record and pursue the Lions closer than any other team. However, this game was merely to the detriment of the Royal Prussians, who have now sunken to the lowest spot on the table (albeit not by much deficit). The question of Roper or Brambler in starter will likely prove to be a bone of contention between the two. Roper will get the call in the singular home stand in the Arima Pavilion against the feisty Arcantovan Royal Team. This match may prove even more pivotal than the Pruski Payback (referencing to the WCoH 27) due to a more opportune chance of gaining distance away from the lower pack and towards the second place spot inhabited by Nova Anglicana. But beware, as the Hessen narrowly ousted them the previous time, perhaps the Royal Team may trounce the Eagles this turn around.

by **Semarland** » Wed Jul 15, 2015 9:33 am

A HISTORY OF THE PREMARLIGAEN
Celebrating 30 years of Semarland’s best football league

Start

Part Two

An introduction by Yemi Appiah-Jansen, President of the SFA

The Premarligaen. Any Semar football fan’s favourite words. Or one of them, anyway. I’m 39 now, and I can remember at nine years old watching the first ever Premarligaen match. The whole family was, especially me, as at the time I was a keen football player soon to have a trial at one of these clubs. I got in at FC Kolberg, but left after making three first team appearances. Cut short by injury, what was best for me was to retire and take up another football-related role. Over fifteen years down the line, here I am now. SFA President.

One thing that symbolises football in Semarland is that anything is possible. You might not make it professionally, but you could be successful elsewhere. You could get a job at the SFA, you could be a coach. Same goes for any other sport, be it handball, basketball, hockey. That’s what makes me smile. I hope you enjoy reminiscing the history of our most cherished leagues with a trip down memory lane.

Best regards,

President of the SFA

FOUNDATIONS
On March 1st 1988, Kristoffer Adrensen, Marcus Jansen and Jon-Henrik Bergen formed the SFA. At the time, Bergen was current sports minister and received a government grant to fund the building, administration, setup etc. Bergen had previously introduced other sports leagues, such as basketball and hockey, but much to the surprise of the nation, not football.

There were teams all across the land. Bergen and his administrative team ranked the teams based on average points from the past 5 regional league seasons, then ranked them all. The top 8 got into the top division, whilst the rest would stay in their amateur leagues, with eight new amateur teams being formed. Depending on how the first season would go, there would be no relegation/promotion.

The eight lucky teams to form the first ever Premarligaen were Aerlo Sport, Eikborg Club, FC Jansberg, FC Kolberg, FC Njilkaer, Krsthaven, Molsbik Arkjet and Yeyjkyavik. The government gave grants for these teams to expand their stadiums, and all but FC Nijlkaer changed owners. The SFA needed a sponsor, too, and nationwide accountancy firm Kronville & Kohansen were appointed league sponsors on a two year deal.

The format would go like this – each team would play each team twice home, twice away, in a total of 28 games in a season. The winner would become champions, and that was that. For reasons still unknown, Bergen opted against entering UICA competitions at this stage.

PREVIEW – 1988/89 SEASON
AERLO CLUB:
Manager: Rikke Rommedahl
Captain: Corenlius Pedersen, DC
Star player: Frans Jaarvik, DMC
Ground: Simonsen Park, 17,000
Sponsor: Thommasen (Accountants)

EIKBORG CLUB:
Manager: Peter Jorvik
Captain: Jan Karl, DL
Star player: Peder Fjorsvik, ST
Ground: Pilkeborg Street, 21,000
Sponsor: Karlsmarket (Local supermarket)

FC JANSBERG:
Manager: Christian den Korrest
Captain: Karl Nobsen, DC
Star player: Daniel Heilik, ST
Ground: Stadium Jans-Karl Blangaard, 24,000
Sponsor: Trindl (National supermarket)

FC KOLBERG:
Manager: Maarten Isle
Captain: Peder Kuhl, DMC
Star player: Simon Lovenkrands, MR
Ground: Skorelevelet, 27,000
Sponsor: Petersberg & Ramshalle (Solicitors)

FC NJILKAER:
Manager: Klaus Eriksen
Captain: Klaus Gradsen, DR
Star player: Nicolas Jonsson, MC
Ground: Njilkaer Park, 18,000
Sponsor: Freilik (Delivery firm)

KRSTHAVEN:
Manager: Martin Larsen
Captain: Soren Jakobsburg, ST
Star player: Frans Idrisse, AMC
Ground: Stadion Metner, 25,000
Sponsor: Thomsen & Jonasen (Accoutants)

MOLSBIK ARKJET:
Manager: Fredrik Sorensson
Captain: Claes Matsen, ML
Star player: Jon Erik Kuhlsburg, DC
Ground: Arkjetstadion, 30,000
Sponsor: Arkjet (International travel company)

YEYJKYAVIK
Manager: Kristian Lovenkrands
Captain: Claes Luune, ST
Star player: Thorsten Hreidvik, ST
Ground: Clemensen Road, 19,000
Sponsor: Yeyjkyavik Post (City newspaper)

SEASON ONE – 1988/89

THE FIRST MATCHDAY
FC Njilkaer 0–1 FC Kolberg
Eikborg Club 5–0 Yeyjkyavik
Molsbik Arkjet 0–5 Krsthaven
FC Jansberg 4–0 Aerlo Sport
Wins all round, with no draws at all. Simon Lovenkrands put one past FC Njilkaer whilst Peder Fjorsvik also got a brace against Yeyjkavik. Tknevvik (Lindmark) born Johan Flemmensen scored once against Molsbik Arkjet plus a Johan Korlen own goal and goals from Jan Erevik, Tomas Carlsson and Mikke Muller, whilst Soren Hammerstad netted a hat-trick plus a Daniel Heilik volley gave FC Jansberg three points against Aerlo Sport.

THE FINAL TABLE

Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Krsthaven              28   20   6   2   127   45  +82    66
2 FC Jansberg            28   20   3   5    69   29  +40    63
3 Eikborg Club           28   18   5   5    71   38  +33    59
4 FC Kolberg             28   12   8   8    56   40  +16    44
5 Yeyjkyavik             28    7   3  18    32   72  −40    24
6 FC Njilkaer            28    4   9  15    26   61  −35    21
7 Aerlo Sport            28    4   7  17    35   83  −48    19
8 Molsbik Arkjet         28    5   3  20    39   87  −48    18

Krsthaven became the first ever winners of the Premarligaen and rightly so. Johan Flemmensen and Soren Jakobsburg were lethal up front and Frans Idrisse was one of the first African Semar footballers (as they mainly moved to Semarland in the early 90s.). The 127 goals scored was a remarkable feat, with the 7 other suffering teams dreading playing Krsthaven.

Molsbik Arkjet finished bottom of the league, but fortunately for them there was no relegation. Aerlo Sport finished one point off them, with FC Njilkaer a further two points off Aerlo. Back at the top, the difference between first-place Krsthaven and second-place FC Jansberg was only by three points, but even if they were on the same points anyway Krsthaven’s superior goal difference would win them the league.

GOAL OF THE SEASON: Soren Hammerstad (FC Jansberg) v FC Kolberg, MD6
One of the best goals in Premarligaen history, Hammerstad, with his back to goal, took the ball from a flick by Christian Jens, flicked it up, turned round, and smacked it into the top corner from the edge of the D.

TEAM OF THE SEASON:

NATIONAL TEAM TRIALS
Shortly after the close of the season, the SFA appointed renowned Semar manager Johan-Soren Ekkelunds as national team manager. He and his assistant, Krsthaven’s assistant manager Filip den Pedersson, were given the task of managing a squad of 22 teams each to compete in the SHN Cup. They were as follows:

Game 1 - Squad A 2-1 Squad B
Jonsson 14’, Hammerstad 88’ – Flemensen 79’

Game 2 - Squad A 0-1 Squad B
Jakobsburg 36’

Game 3 - Squad A 5-3 Squad B
Hammerstad 26’, 31’, Muller 59’, Lovenkrands 71’, Jonsson 84’ – Fjorsvik 25’, Wells 60’, 78’

WC72 RP Thread

Who is online