WC72 RP Thread

[Jeruselem]

Princess Laura and Princess Amy looking at a laptop in a hotel room in Omerica ...

Laura: I can't believe we've got another clean sheet
Amy: We're finally actually make some progress but we've got only 3 games left
Laura: Yes, but Holy Empire and Sargossa won so nothing has changed
Amy: Means we're still 4 points behind 2nd placed Sargossa
Laura: But our goals difference is now +8 because of our recent wins
Amy: 3 wins and a loss in the 2nd half. Way big improvement.

Laura: We have to play those two in the next 3 games
Amy: Those costly draws and losses in the 1st half. They are going to bite us.
Laura: OK, it means it means we really need to win all 3 games but we'll probably lose one.
Amy: I don't care if Holy Empire finish first, we must grab 2nd spot
Laura: We play Holy Empire last game, which **** sucks
Amy: I hope we can salvage a draw there

Laura: Sargossa are next up, it's a must win. If we lose ... no chance left.
Amy: We're doing so well other than one loss so far this half. The 1st half was a real disaster.
Laura: It might be too late, but I'm not giving up on this
Amy: Yes, we're not out of the game as yet
Laura: The Royal Barangay beat Jeru FC 2-1 at home. I think there are in trouble.
Amy: Legalese also won but that is moot thing really.

Laura: 5 points to make up in 3 games. I don't think so for Jeru FC
Amy: Those recent losses for Jeru FC have come to bite hard
Laura: Yes, they were 2 points off 2nd spot and now ... oh dear
Amy: Pays d'en Haut can threaten Jeru FC's 3rd spot as well
Laura: I'm afraid we might be seeing the last of Jeru FC
Amy: I'm afraid so

Laura: Bears Armed crashed out, badly
Amy: They were never in the hunt, a track wreck
Laura: I guess, we're doing good compared to them
Amy: 6 losses, ouch.
Laura: Hopefully we come back next cup, stronger.
Amy: Me too, I should write a letter to them.

Laura: How is inquiry into Jeru FC going?
Amy: They've made some really bad discoveries
Laura: Jeru FC is crap?
Amy: The Jeru FC administration did not want Jeru FC to qualify
Laura: That's awful, why?
Amy: They thought qualification was too expensive as no games were at home because Jeru FC don't host finals

Laura: That's a disgusting way to think! Qualification brings lots of money! We want to qualify.
Amy: The aim was to maximise profits from home games and reduce all costs in away games.
Laura: So they sabotaged Jeru FC from the inside
Amy: And never funded Cup of Harmony on purpose, or reluntantly.
Laura: Well I never ... that's horrible to the boys
Amy: There's a kicker too

Laura: It gets worse?
Amy: They didn't select the best football players for Jeru FC, just the ones who weren't totally embarassing
Laura: The old Jeru FC were a fantastic lot, they were world beaters
Amy: So they dumbed down the new generation so they didn't qualify
Laura: That's so wrong
Amy: I know, I'm so angry. Jeru FC might need to be wound up.

Laura: So we going to the Cup of Harmony in case things go wrong for us?
Amy: I guess we have no choice if we get invited
Laura: I guess Jeru FC can't go because there's no money for them
Amy: They play Pays den haut next, who have held the game in ... Southern Democratic States ...
Laura: Oh, it's that medieval team isn't it?
Amy: Apparently, going to play in Pays den haut was a problem.

Laura: Yes, the Jeru FC coach was bit concerned about the local customs.
Amy: Say, that useless hubby of yours scored a goal today
Laura: He did, what a surprise that was.
Amy: You have a few more than he does
Laura: Double figures! Not just one.
Amy: We'll need a few goal from you for the next three games

Laura: And some clean sheets from our defenders
Amy: Yes, that's real helpful given 27 goals conceded so far
Laura: Yes, that's why we're doing so well in the 2nd half.
Amy: I hope we can keep it up, they can be awful
Laura: As we found out against some teams
Amy: Yes. Dinner is here, answer the door please.

Laura: I'm not wearing anything. Might embarass the dinner people.
Amy: Oh yes, never mind.
Laura: You're not wearing much either.
Amy: I know

[Gregoryisgodistan]

OOC: Breaking from the usual because I don't have time to wait for Saintland to RP since I'm attending one and a half Washington Nationals baseball games today. Speaking of which....

Gregoryisgodistan, Kaboomlandia, Endure Light Failures En Route to 2-0 Foot Slave Victory

In a very bizarre game, Gregoryisgodistan and Kaboomlandia endured the same bank of lights failing four times as the Foot Slaves went on to win 2-0 amid several stoppages and one of the longest stoppage times in World Cup history. The game started around 7:30 PM local time, and with the score 0-0 in the 29th minute, one of the banks of lights behind the north goal, which Gregoryisgodistan was defending at the time, went out for no good reason. The refs ordered the players off the field until it was fixed, but by rule the clock kept running and it would have to be added on to stoppage time. 35 minutes later, the lights came back and we were ready to play. By that point we were in the 29th minute of first half stoppage, and the refs signaled for 18 minutes more - 16 for the delay through the 45th minute, one minute of normal stoppage that would have been added on blackout or not, and one to make up for the delay delaying that one minute. As a result, there would be 47 minutes of first half stoppage. The Kaboomlandia goalkeeper kept the Foot Slaves off the board until the 42nd minute, but then Guy Who Cleans Up Behind The Elephant at the Circus P0120AZNNAU found Soccer Captain Laredo Potato in the box and the striker headed it in to put the Foot Slaves on the board. This goal in stoppage time led the ref to add another minute before finally blowing the whistle for halftime at 45+48'. The goal at 45+42' is believed to be the latest first half goal in the history of World Cup qualifying. Records for certain games are unavailable, but it is highly unlikely a team would score a goal in the 43rd minute of stoppage time or later unless there were similar circumstances. But that would be tempting fate.

As the teams were taking the field for the second half, the lights went out again and the Kaboomlandia fans started booing. A few even threw stuff onto the field and were arrested. As the clock had not started yet, it stayed stopped. It took 45 minutes for the lights to come back on, and finally we resumed with the second half. Nobody scored for the first 20 minutes and as Prune Farmer 3818F got ready to take a goal kick, the same bank of lights went out a third time. As is usual, the refs didn't stop the clock since they can't except for weather, so it continued to run for 78 minutes while they got the lights up and running. By that time we were in the 53rd minute of second half stoppage, and they needed at least 25 more. The ref signaled for 29 to include stoppage that would have been added anyway, and noted that he might add more based on events that would have been in regulation were it not for the power failure. So we were going to see at least 82 minutes of stoppage including the delay. Ten minutes later, in what would have been the 75th minute but was really 90+63, the lights went out a fourth time! This time they were up in "only" 29 minutes, which would have to be added on to stoppage. Consequently, we were going to see at least 111 minutes of stoppage, at least officially. Kaboomlandia kept the Foot Slaves from equalizing for a while but at 90+109, the Foot Slaves were awarded a corner. Guy Who Cleans Up Behind The Elephant at the Circus P0120AZNNAU found a streaking Secret Police Agent Dominic Button who headed it in for the second goal. At that point, the refs gave up and blew the final whistle just as the lights went out for a fifth time. Thankfully by then it was over. Officially, the goal game at the 199th minute, which is believed to be the latest ever in a non-extra time match, and depending on whether you consider (for instance) 120+2, as the 122nd minute, to be before or after 90+109, as the 199th minute, may be the latest goal ever, period. Again, it is highly unlikely there would be this much stoppage time except in the case of several extended power failures, as in the event of weather the clock would stop and in the event of a serious emergency like a player collapsing and dying on the field, the game would be suspended and resumed later, or started over. But for power failures, this is the rule.

After the game, Secret Police Agent Dominic Button called it "the most bizarre thing I have ever seen at a soccer match" and stated that had the Foot Slaves not won, he would have filed an appeal demanding Kaboomlandia forfeit the match for their failure to maintain proper lighting. However, he said the appeal wasn't worth it with the Foot Slaves having won, since it would only give them an extra goal rather than more points and with Farfadillis 8 goals ahead of the Foot Slaves on GD (but two points behind in the standings) it is highly unlikely GD will matter. This would require the Foot Slaves to draw one of their remaining three games with Farfadillis winning out (or one of several less likely scenarios) while still somehow making up either 7 or 8 goals in the GD, which simply isn't going to happen. The Foot Slaves aren't built for offense and never have been. (OOC: I know full well how additive style modifiers work, but whether by randomness or scorinator quirk, we have never had a GD comparable to other teams with our record, so this is ICly accurate.)

Next up, the Foot Slaves will host Polkopia and look to eliminate them from the tournament. It doesn't get any easier after that as they travel to Starblaydia on the penultimate day of qualifying before hosting New Panazia to wrap things up. But they do control their own destiny - three wins and they are through to their first World Cup.

[Jeru FC]

Jeru FC coach Major Trooble and player ROAW

ROAW: Say, why are we going to Southern Democratic States to play Pays d'en Haut?
Major: There were complications playing in Pays d'en Haut, due to the local laws so a neutral venue was found
ROAW: Oh yes, those people don't live in the modern age?
Major: Yes, think like medieval Jeruselem but worse
ROAW: OK, that's real bad
Major: It's easier this way

ROAW: What's the attraction of Southern Democratic States?
Major: It's a much nice place to stay, oh and stadium is bigger
ROAW: Sounds good to me
Major: Yes well, we have to win or else ... you know
ROAW: I guess we're in the poo now
Major: We're playing at Daniels-Barry Stadium, over 100,000 seats compared to 2,000 in Pays d'en Haut

ROAW: That's good
Major: We can concentrate on football there and avoiding getting beheaded
ROAW: That sounds awful
Major: Double Rainbow would have been arrested in Pays d'en Haut, for just being gay
ROAW: Ouch
Major: And them Naked Girls wouldn't have been let in either

ROAW: Can't have that, we need our nudies!
Major: Oh and they only speak French in Pays d'en Haut
ROAW: I can't
Major: Neither can I
ROAW: My wife can, she can also speak Hebrew for some reason. And also Qazoxese
Major: She is really Qazian

ROAW: Oh yes
Major: You should know that you idiot
ROAW: Well, my dad isn't really my dad so I got no idea about parent other than mum.
Major: I only found out one of grandmothers was a Dallas
ROAW: That's great news, you're a Dallas!
Major: Not really, explains why my daughter never wears clothes though.

ROAW: I think it's a good thing
Major: That's because you're a perv
ROAW: She's real cute
Major: You're married, so you should really keep to yourself
ROAW: I should but she's still cute
Major: No wonder you lot can't concentrate on football

[Vangaziland]

Major sports television shows, radio broadasts and podcasts throughout Vangaziland have been buzzing all week with the Avery Hax interview. An initial statement was given. Then the world's media knocked the door down for more comments.

Nobody from the Royals spoke on it. When coach Tim Tomasson was reached for an interview with a writer from the Vannish Sports Network all he had to say about it was that it was "the result of post-game adrenaline." He still said the player's concern's were valid.

The coach wouldn't say much beyond that, instead calling attention to the Royal's record. When asked on how he felt about the season, he replied with the following.

"It's not over yet. I'm still on the fence. We had highs and lows. Almost all of our games were close. If two of those losses went a different way, we'd be in second place [in the group]. But we were lucky to get the wins and draws we did."

3-3-5 was the Vangazi's record. They gave up 19 goals and scored 13. It was not a good season by any means. But it was an improvement on the previous season. Most believed Vangaziland would be closer to 2-1-8 at this point.

"At the start of the season, the rankings loomed over us like an un-scalable mountain. But I think the guys have done a good job of whittling away at it. A few more seasons of this and maybe we'll be competitors.

But for now, the Vangazi had a long road ahead. One of the stars was Anthony Vonoss. He first arrived on the world scene at the MPLS, where he ended up making Emeros FC one of the highest scoring teams in the league. Vonoss was responsible for 7 of the Vannish goals in this tournament.

"Obviously, I'd like the team to be top tier. But that doesn't happen overnight. Let's see how these next two games go." Vonoss spoke on the team, sounding as modest as his coach.

Avery Hax chipped in on his role with the team.

"I'm excited for the future. My three goals have contributed to this season in a way that I never thought would happen."

The fact of the matter was that Hax may get a better club contract and more play time on the International scene as a result of his performance against tough defenses.

The Vannish will have to play the rest of the season without LB Tom Tuba. The stocky defender is out with a calf injury. The question becomes whether or not the defensive bench can close out the season well.

[Electrum]

Elections Coverage - Part 1

Liam Pattinson: Welcome to the Network ENN election centre in Centralis, it's 6PM, and the voting closed an hour ago, with the counting starting in earnest right now. Tonight, Electrumites will choose the government which will help lead us into a brave new future in these tense times. It's your choice.

*Introduction music* "Do what you want to do, be what you want to be"

Liam Pattinson: I am joined tonight by political journalist for the Centralis Herald, Janine Connell. To her left, is Laina Li, leader of the Country Principles Party, and to her right is Bayden Simon, a Greens Party Senator, and to his right is Jessie Martinique, the new deputy leader of the Labour Party. And as always, our expert elections analyst, Nicholas Broadbent.

Everyone: Hi.

Liam Pattinson: Janine, what have the opinion polls predicted for this election?

Janine Connell: Well, in the House of Representatives, it seems like we will see another hung parliament. I think we've had no majority party since fifty years ago. What people want to look for is the balance between the left wing and right wing parties. The left wing vote has fallen, especially the Greens, they're expected to be wiped out, the biggest surprise of this election is the Liberty Party vote falling dramatically too - the poor performance of Senator Itsuki, the Foreign Affairs Minister and their complacency has allowed them to lose seats to the New Centrists Alliance, who will benefit. In both the east and western edges of the nation, the Independent members are expected to lose their seats thanks to renewed support to the Country Living Party.

In the Provincial Senate, we're expected to see more of the same, but because of the lower threshold of votes to get elected in any province - 5%, it means that it's going to be much, much easier to gain a seat if a party has concentrated support. The Endemian Unionists, who want to see us become one with Eura can get two seats up north near Hamilton, and we are expected to see more single issue parties. The Sex Party are in a shot in Centralis, to the West, the Anti-Rushmore alliance can get a few seats, the Cyclists can win some, Animal Rights, Compassionate Workers, Christian Justice Party, Nationalists will also get some support.

Liam Pattinson: Jessie, your thoughts on the situation?

Jessie Martinique: I think it is because of the very strange circumstances of this election being called -- the failure of a budget bill which has led to the backlash in the community. We were given a clear mandate to govern for the next three years, but here we are at the polls, just a year and a half later. It's quite ridiculous, and I apologise to the Electrumite community for making you go out to the compulsory polls again.

Liam Pattinson: Laina?

Laina Li: It has been a massive coup for my country, the Country Living Party. We have always been the party for rural Electrumites, and we see a compassionate society that our rural and manufacturing workers can relate to. We stand for hunting rights, fishing rights, and we stand for solidarity for our farmers in drought-ridden West Prescott. The Greens have quite clearly shown that they are unable to govern, and rightly so they deserve to lose seats.

Bayden Simon: Now hang on a second, Laina, you want a return to animal cruelty and progression towards the dark ages? We are in a civilised society now, and we should care for the environment, especially now with the changing circumstances of drought, and of course, the recent climate change in the region. We had a cyclone affect all of Electrum just a few months ago during the World Bowl, the threat is real. We don't apologise for sticking to our principles, and if I may add, the principles set out by the Constitution. The Constitution makes it very clear that we shouldn't need to resort to war in diplomacy, but that's what the Labour Party want to lead us to.

Janine Connell: Well, it's interesting you're saying that Bayden, because it's clear that the majority of the electorate doesn't really agree with you.

Bayden Simon: It's the principle. We're not a populist party.

Jessie Martinique: So you're saying you would rather bring down a left-wing government, making this government unstable, during a situation where we need a united government? Did we really need another election now?

Bayden Simon: I've already answered that question.

Laina Li: You do realise that pretty much every major party is against you.

Liam Pattinson: We're getting a bit sidetracked here, Nicholas Broadbent, what is your analysis for this election?

Nicholas Broadbent: Look, as Janine said, we are expected to get a hung parliament in the House of Representatives, and Labour will shed seats, so too will Liberty and Greens, basically anyone in that government, Country wins some, Conservatives win some, but the lions share going to small parties. My current estimations have varied wildly over the past few hours, and as the votes come in, it's going to be a bit easier to calculate.

Liam Pattinson: What about the Senate?

Nicholas Broadbent: We have the most asinine voting system possible, we have the single transferable vote, proportional representation -- but with Group Voting ticket. Because there are so many candidates, in some cases, up to hundred and fifty candidates in Centralis, voters can just tick the box for the party they like the most rather than number all the boxes. The downside? That party votes on behalf for them, and we've seen lots of preference swapping, so much so, we might see an even more feral Provincial Senate. It is a laughing stock of a system, no one with 1% of the vote should get a seat, but we will see that happening. It is a national embarrassment, and is a joke in the whole multiverse.

Liam Pattinson: Well, that's just your opinion, I'm sure that's why we have this voting system

Nicholas Broadbent: That's the thing, if a party doesn't get enough votes, they pass those votes to another party of their choice. People's preferences don't matter if everyone votes for the ticket instead of candidates.

Liam Pattinson: Okay, that's your opinion. Um, do we have some preliminary results in?

Nicholas Broadbent: Yes, in the seat of Centralis, the current Greens MP, Andre Mayer is on the brink on losing his seat to Labour representative Edward Faye with 35% of the preference vote, Labour getting in on Conservative votes. In the seat of Darling, to the west of Prescott, the Country Alliance have reclaimed the seat from the Liberty Party with 62% of the vote counted, with a swing of 15% towards Country, with votes from the surprisingly, Greens Society.

Liam Pattinson: Laina, encouraging results?

Laina Li: Definitely, the voice of rural Electrum has been heard loud and clear, and for so long, they have been marginalised by the major parties. A vote for the Country Living Party is a vote for protecting our agriculture. We will use our newfound power wisely.

Jessie Martinique: Well Laina, you would talk up your party. Fact of the matter is, is that all parties care for all Electrumites. There is no bias. In fact, your party is only biased towards the country, with absolutely zero planning for cities, or even rural cities.

Bayden Simon: Laina, you only got that last seat on our preferences, because you weren't part of the former government. Otherwise it would have been someone else. It was just luck, really.

Liam Pattinson: We'll be back after the break

---

OOC: I haven't, and don't intend to vote for the CoH bidding

Centralis Herald - Sports Section - Stewart Faraday

Ministerial Directive orders Electrum FA to vote a certain way in the Cup of Harmony bidding

In an eleventh hour decision ordered by the Ministry of Sports (Minister Nina Spring, Liberty Party), the Electrum FA, Electrum Football has been instructed to not vote for either the Eura/Yttribia or the Valladares/Patistan bid because of the (obvious) geopolitical relations that Electrum has with both of these nations. It was an unusual move because it was a move which is usually independently decided by the Electrum FA, and also government ministers are not supposed to make any decisions in the 'caretaker period' during an election, which restrains the government from doing any important decisions until an election is over.

The ministerial directive, which simply read, "The Government of Electrum advises that they would prefer the Krytenia/Quebec bid to get the Electrum vote," was sent at around midnight yesterday, the day of the election -- a particularly strange timing, probably to capitalise the fact on the focused coverage on the election. This spectacularly backfired as the election coverage in this very boring campaign focused on the directive. A large crowd gathered outside the Culture and Sports ministries in Centralis, but Nina Spring was unavailable for comment, as she was busy campaigning in her seat at Agri. Authorities from Valladares and Eura are said to be furious -- it is another reaction against both nations from the current government.

[Saintland]

Kingdom joins War against Gregoryisgodistan

(SP) Today, King Andreas released a brief statement following the National Soccer Team's World Cup qualification-clinching victory in Britonisea. We have elected to print this entire statement unedited and free of any editorial commentary:

"After much prayer and consultation with His Holiness the Patriarch of St. Petrus, I have decided that the Kingdom of Saintland shall join the war to end Gregoryisgodistan. While we are not capable of being much help to the Holy Republican Empire and their allies, God has instructed us to do what we can to help, regardless. I wish to be clear about one thing here: We do not wish for war against any of Gregoryisgodistan's allies and would prefer that they stand down and allow the Armies of the Lord to rid the multiverse of the menace that the Quebecois created in South Esportiva. The Kingdom of Saintland desires peace, but there can be no peace in a multiverse where Gregoryisgodistan exists. Therefore, for the first time in the history of our Kingdom, we are at war."

[San Llera]

(OOC: This takes place the night after the Viktoria game)

When San Llera wins, most players party throughout the night.

Don Llorens just sleeps. Deeply. It would take somebody going to his hotel room and splashing cold water on his face to wake him up at 1:00. Which is exactly what happened. It was Pietro Madonna waking him up.

"Marko doesn't appreciated people being late for meetings," Pietro said sternly.

"Meeting?" asked Llorens, not completely awake.

Another wave of cold water his Llorens's face. "Yes. Meeting."

Llorens groggily got out of bed and started to get dressed. Usually he would wonder why there would be a meeting at 1:00 in the morning, but he didn't feel like using anything except his inner lizard brain.

The training complex that Sargossa had provided for San Llera was a short walk from the hotel. It was where this meeting, like all others, was taking place.

The cold air that hit Llorens's face once he exited the hotel woke him up.

"So, a meeting?" asked Llorens.

"Yes."

"What's it about?"

You'll see."

They arrived at the meeting room. The other 22 players were already there.

"Everybody's here, so let's get started," said the Head Coach Marko Vujvic. "This meeting shouldn't take long."

Llorens was glad.

"You all are aware that you coach, Jon Lleranerus, is in a coma."

Llorens hadn't noticed the grimness in Vujvic's voice before. Suddenly, he wasn't so glad.

"He is dead."

[Bears Armed]

(Previously…)

The scene: a conference-room within the Confederal Police HQ at Council Groves.
The time: It’s still the day immediately after the Bear-Belles’ second qualifying match against Krytenia.

People present at the start:
Jharrge Gentt’hlee, Detective Chief Superintendent, head of the Criminal Investigations Division for this part of the country.
Inspector Gorse, Detective Chief Inspector, who has a good reputation for solving murder cases.
Morross o Bardenn, Inspector, responsible for uniformed police patrols in the area including Plumtrees Park.
Birrian o RedRose, a senior official from the ‘Hall of The Strangers’ (i.e. the ‘Foreign Ministry’)
Karra True, a shabear from the Great Medicine Society, currently attached to this department as an ‘Arcanist’ (i.e. specialist in dealing with any supernatural aspects of their cases)
Merrina Grey, a Press Officer.


_______________________________________________________

(Morross) “Bear-on-a-stick!
“Are you saying that somebearry tried to up the chances of winning Margaret’s support by offering Her A RUBBER KRYTIE ?!?”

_______________________________________________________

(Gorse) “So it might seem, for true, but unless the Arcane evidence is clear — and maybeso even if it is — we should probably consider also whether that was somebearry trying to be ‘clever’ and throw urrs off of the scent, or at least to kill two bunnies with one stone. You said that the ‘missing person’ rreport was filed, verrry quickly, by the deceased’s wife? So many murders have a ‘domestic’ aspect, after all, and even if she wasn’t involved at all I’d still need to question her anyhows, of course, to find out if she knows hwhether anybody else among ourr Krytie visitors might have had it in for him…”


( Gentt’hlee) “Ayyuh, Gorse, I do realise that, but please be tactful. Rremember that if she wasn’t involved in the murder plan then she’ll probably be grieving — and, for that matter, that she might still be grieving even if she[/i] was somehow involved — and that we definitely don’t want ‘Ursine Police Brutality’ headlines appearing in newspapers across the ‘sporting’ regions.”

(Gorse looked somewhat aggrieved…)
(Gent’hlee) “ For true I’ll be tactful, but do you trust me to do this job hrright or don’t you?”

(DCS Gentt’hlee sighed quietly…)
(Gent’hlee) “ Hokay.
“Now, hwhat discoveries about the matter and suggestions from those facts have our Arcanists come up with so far, True?”

(True) “The short version, for now?”
“Hrright. I meself was the Arcanist on call, and first to the site, hwhen the rrequest for our assistance came in. I was able to determine quickly that the scene contained potentially-hazardous rrresidual energies hwhich would need to be cleansed before anybearry else went further within the enclosed area, but that conducting that cleansing without also ‘cleaning away’ any non-material evidence that might be present would be a tricky job. Also, although the patterns marked around the fire were clearly of an ‘occult’ nature, I didn’t actually recognise them… although I did think that they looked maybeso rrather like ones from the foreign Human ‘Solomonic’ tradition. Therefore I contacted my Watch commander and asked hwhether anybody more practiced in dealing with ‘works’ of that nature might be available to help me with this. Fortunately, as it turned out, both the Sermhan the Wanderer and the wizard Grimdark* were visiting our offices that morning, to consult about a separate problem, and they both decided to come to my assistance. Working together, we firstly made the site safe for other personnel to enter and then agreed on the following conclusions:
“Firstly, the protective and summoning patterns used were based on ones from the ‘Solomonic’ tradition, as I’d thought, but with elements from several of the recorded designs combined and with some little bits modified to incorporate Ursine folklore too… and with hwaht Sermharn said were errors in the basic lay-out anyhows.
“Secondly, this wasn’t just a bluff to make us think the killing had been for ritual purposes hwhen it had rreally just been for some more mundane rreason instead, because there rreally had been a ritual of invocation worked there that night… although of course that doesn’t entirely rule out the possibility that there was some mundane factor — beyond the obvious “we should use a Krytie for this offering, because they’re the people whose team is rreally benefitting the most at our girls’ expense, look there’s one available over there”, I suppose — involved in the actual choice of victim.”
“Thirdly, the entity hwhose attention the culprits were trying to attract was indeed Margaret… although we’re still not entirely sure that that’s the actual spirit with hwhom they did make contact, especially bearing in mind the fact that the rituals they seem to have used were originally designed for working with demons and — despite hwhat some people in these parts have been saying about Her recently — Margaret doesn’t fall into that category.
“Fourthly, that there were two people involved in carrying out the ritual, both of them male Ursines and probably relatively young, and we picked up enough traces for maybeso a three-quarters certainty of identification hwhen scanning the auras of any suspects who turn up… hwhich isn’t good enough to take to court, of course, but hopefully might help urrs by at least a little bit anyhows.
“And fifthly, they were amateurs: Not just because of the clumsy way in hwhich they built their patterns from different elements, or because of the hints that it was some being other than Margaret herself who was able to answer their call, and the way in which they left those identifying traces behind, but because of their choice of target and the prrobable effects. Although sacrificing a Krytie in order to invoke supernatural action against the Krytie’s football team might seem an obvious connection to alaybear, it was the wrong choice. Sacrifices of sapient beings to any spirits other than demons rreally require the victim’s freely-given consent if they’re going to work properly, but it seems verrry unlikely that that was the case in this incident.”

(o Redrose) “Hr’rmm.
“Hwhich means?”

(True) “Hwhich means that they probably helped to turn Margaret’s favour towards the Krytie team and away from ours, even though the Belles did then manage to win last night’s game… and maybeso even that, because of one of the main errors in their patterns design, they made the change not forwards in time from there, as one might prrobaly expect, but backwards instead, so that the long run of Krytie successes up to that point and the lack of successes for our own girls during that period — the events to hwhich the culprits were presumably trying to rrespond there — were actually, at least in part, their own, furless FAULT!”

(everybody else) “Urrgah!”



(o Barrdenn) “Hr’rmm. Make that fact public and anybearry who has any suspicions about them might be more likely to come forwards…”

(Gent’hlee) “False accusations, lynch mobs…”

(o RedRose) “Public outcry for the entire group’s results so far to be set aside as ‘tainted’ , and maybeso official complaints from some of the other nations whose teams have lost to the Kryties so far…”

(o Barrdenn) “Hokay, maybeso not a good idea, neither.”


(Gent’hlee) “Hrright. We might try it if the investigation doesn’t turn up anything else helpful, but I’d rreally rather not take the rrisk.
“So, Gorse, your immediate plans?”

(Gorse) “I’ll want a decent number of people, detectives as well as uniforms, to re-trace the last known actions of the victim and his wife: Sergeant Lowest can coordinate that, to start with, hwhile I take a female police-bear with me instead of him to interview the wife. Do we know hwhere she will be?”

_____________________________________________________________


OOC

* These are two characters who’ve already appeared in some of my earlier RPs: ‘Grimdark’ is basically the Bears’ equivalent of Gandalf, and although Sermharn claims to be neither a wizard nor a ‘shabear’ he certainly possesses a high level of arcane knowledge & abilities.

[Free Republics]

Consul Kulseth had known about the impending Sanctii entry into the War several days in advance. However, they weren't the only nation to join in the war. Both the Sanctii and Acedonians had secretly been amassing troops in Taiyou in preparation for an invasion of Gregoryisgodistan. Yet, the IesusisGodistanis refused to enter the war. Father Archibald had given a statement re-affirming the neutrality of his nation in the conflict and condemning those who were launching rockets into Gregoryisgodistan from within his borders.

The declarations of war by the Sanctii and the Acedonians were all part of a master plan concocted by Consul Kulseth and Patriarch Nicolaus V. The three nations had decided to launch a joint invasion of Gregoryisgodistan. This initial wave of the invasion would be carried out by the Red Berets, the elite special forces team of the Republican Armed Forces. They would be followed by the Republican Marines and finally by several waves of infantry. The invasion was meticulously planned by all of the major military leaders from all 3 sides.

The point of invasion would be the Special Administrative Zone, a region of Gregoryisgodistan where much of the nation's elite resided. All parties involved were sympathetic to the people of Gregoryisgodistan, who had been ruthlessly denied a chance to convert to the True Church and earn salvation, but they loathed the Gregoryisgodistani elite that was responsible for keeping "Lord Almighty Gregory" in power and from which, they assumed, the new Lord Almighty Gregory was chosen whenever he died. General David van Krieken was assigned to command the invasion and the general had decided to burn the Special Administrative Zone to the ground and massacre every "Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory" whom they came across on their march through the SAZ en route to their eventual destination of the Capital District.

When the invasion of the Special Administrative Zone commenced, Consul Kulseth went on national television to warn the Gregoryisgodistanis against using nuclear weapons against the Holy Republican invaders. Consul Kulseth warned, "Do not mistake my humanitarian compassion for weakness. If the enemy chooses to cross the line and commit heinous war crime in order to stop our troops, mark my words: We will retaliate in kind. I will not hesitate to press a button and send the entire nation of Gregoryisgodistan, including the so-called 'Lord Almighty Gregory' himself, to their eternal damnation." This was, of course, a thinly veiled threat to nuke Gregoryisgodistan like they had nuked Hicana.

Consul Kulseth went out of his way to ignore the Gregoryisgodistani propaganda that had been dropped upon his nation. The Holy Republican people, however, found creative ways to show their desecrate the "Creation Day Prayer Books." You would have been hard-pressed to find anybody gullible enough to believe that Lord Almighty Gregory was actually God.

As Gregoryisgodistan was facing invasion, reports came in that a Legion of Lucifer cell in the Petrograd area had been apprehended. Consul Kulseth was convinced that it was just a matter of time before God would grant him victory over the wicked unbelievers. With the recent attacks by the Christian State and even the shocking news that President Elizabeths had lost to Robert Thompson of the pro-HRE Christian Party in the Taxachusetts presidential election, it was beginning to appear that God might just be on the side of those who were waging a Crusade in His name...

[Barunia]

The National Herald

Government buys land as airport question continues

The Federal Government confirmed yesterday that they had purchased eight square kilometres of land in the Porthaven suburb of Levinson, adding to speculation that the government intends to build a new airport in the area. Adding to the speculation was a media block placed on the purchase, with our calls to ministers only resulting in the information that the land was for "an unspecified purpose".

Member for Nevill (West Barunia), Peter Stewart, said that this was typical Prime Minister Lewis' government. "Once again, Lewis' administration is undermining our nation's core values of open government. Was there any consultation with those in the community here? No, they just swoop in on the coat-tails of their military overlords and take land from honest, hardworking Barunians." Mr Stewart went on to say that the government should be honest with the people and tell them exactly what the land is for. "First they tell us it's going to be military. Well, if it is, we need to know. Or, if they're going to blow a billion tildas on a new airport, that's something they can't keep quiet."

The land had previously been earmarked by the ministry of defence as a potential site for a new air force base. Senator John Bayliss suggested that the government might be keeping their options open. "I wouldn't be surprised if this is a pre-emptive move by the government, acquiring the land now while they can, and then deciding what to do with it." The airforce had previously only requested a reservation of land, which Bayliss sees as significant. "With the possibility of building one of two choices on the site, it's suddenly become hot property. It tells me the government has made up its mind about the site, just not what they're going to build on it." The land could still be acquired by the airforce through the Ministry of Defence.

The move has angered the shire of Greater Porthaven, who say that an airport or military base would lower the value of the land, where development and sales have already slowed. Councillor Monica Wild said the shire saw the land purchase as confirmation of the government's intent, and said that they would consider legal action to recoup any losses accrued through the development of the region. The suburb had been planned as a residential area, with a planned 20,000 homes. Councillor Wild said that an airport in such proximity would destroy that plan, and much of the land would only be good for industrial and commercial use. "It is likely to reduce the residential capacity of Levinson by 80%." Councillor Wild told us.

As the city of Porthaven looks set to hit five million within the next few years, the question of housing and expansion of the nation's capital is a growing concern. Levinson is the on the eastern edge of Greater Porthaven, with the other side of the Trans-Barunia Highway belonging to the rural shire of James River. James River is classified as a rural area, and the council has indicated that they will resist any attempt to change that designation. That leaves north and south, and building opportunities may exist along the new highway. However, these areas would be much further from Porthaven proper, and there are issues with access which would have to be addressed. Whatever the government decides to do with their new land in Levinson, it is clear that more questions will have to be answered.

[Greater Watford]

Chapter 11: GWFA Cup-Abbots Langley FC vs Cheshunt Village FC

The GWFA was one of the key promises of the GWFA when it formed. The old GWNFA had no cup competition, and many felt this was taking away some of the excitement of football in Greater Watford. The Gold Cup was hugely popular before leagues existed, and many wanted to see that excitement replicated. However, the GWNFA was more focused on it’s league system, and too much infighting among the league, the clubs within the league and the clubs outside the league prevented this from happening.

One of the exciting things about the GWFA Cup is the unseeded draws, and the ability for small clubs to end up playing big clubs. This is what happened in Season 8, the match I’m going to talk about. After Round 1, the draw was made for Round 2, with 16 Super League and 16 Challenge League sides added to the draw, along with 32 Round 1 winners, a combination of Western and Eastern League sides, and Alliance teams. Aside from the big matchup between Hemel Hempstead FC and St Albans City FC, the other talk was of Super League side Abbots Langley FC facing Eastern Alliance D2 side Cheshunt Village FC.

The week leading up to the game was business as usual for Abbots Langley FC. Players attended training, the staff planned the additional resources needed to host a home cup game (of course, there’s a ½ chance of the match being at home, so nobody pre-prepares for cup games, not when supplies are easy to order). For Abbots Langley FC, this was a home game, with the ability to let a few fringe players who impressed in training have a go in the first team.

Cheshunt Village FC, meanwhile, had a very different story. Interest was so high among the village, many players secured time off work to attend extra training sessions. Captain Peter Glamorgan was interviewed by several local newspapers and a couple of national newspapers in the days leading up to the game. Then, Friday Football Fever, a weekly football talk show, featured Cheshunt Village, with manager Andy Jones as a guest, to talk about preparation. The team never had a game this big before in their life.

On match day, Abbots Langley had all 45’000 of their seats filled. However, out of the 5’000 dedicated to away fans, only around 1’000 were taken, and that was a high point in attendances for Cheshunt Village FC. The match was hyped up, but ultimately it seemed as if Cheshunt Village FC were in it for the experience, and a good day out, and the win seemed likely to go to Abbots Langley FC.

In the 16th minute, Edwin Lunde scored a low shot from 10 yards, to give Abbots Langley FC the lead. They looked comfortable, yet unexciting on the ball, but that was to be expected in a cup game. What wasn’t expected, was what happened in the 43rd minute, when a defensive mix up allowed Peter Glamorgan to shoot from the edge of the box, and his shot curled into the right hand side of the net, with Sol Hiemstra in the Abbots Langley goal left beaten. The fans were shocked, as it was 1-1 at the interval.

Jeromy Polston restored the lead for Abbots Langley after 52 minutes, with a glancing header from a wide cross. Abbots Langley were certainly rattled, but looked to regain composure. Across TV sets, the national show Goals Galore, tracking every goal was keeping tabs on all of the GWFA Cup games, and no game was generating more excitement than the Abbots Langley vs Cheshunt Village game. It was the first time a Level 5 time had a realistic chance of getting a result against a Level 1 side, even if it was to force extra-time.

Time was slipping away, but on 82 minutes Cheshunt Village got a corner. With 6 of their men in the box, Peter Glamorgan picked out defender Robbie Bryson, who flicked the ball with the head into the goal, equalising and making it 2-2. Across the nation, football fans were almost in shock. Commentator at the game Harrison James could barely contain his excitement, as he relayed details back to the studio at Goals Galore.

2-2 would have stunned everyone, but nobody foresaw what happened in the 90th minute. Edwin Lunde had his shot blocked, and it was hoofed downfield, Cheshunt Village dumping the ball downfield away from the goalmouth everytime they got it. Then striker Marcus Masterson ran 40 yards, holding off 2 defenders, and show low and hard. Sol Hiemstra blocked it with his leg, but Ben Richardson of Cheshunt Village struck the rebound on the volley, and with Hiemstra still on the floor, it hit the back of the net. Cheshunt Village were 3-2 up in injury time, and around the nation there were stunned faces. Harrison James was losing his voice commentating, there were fans trying to leap on the pitch whilst the game was still on, and in the Goals Galore studio Fabrizio Fazzarini, retired international, and former Watford FC and Abbots Langley FC said it was “the most stunning thing he’d ever seen in Greater Watford”.

Cheshunt Village FC held on for a historic win. The little known club were all over the back pages of the Sunday newspapers, and the press couldn’t get enough of talking to Peter Glamorgan, Ben Richardson, and the other members of the Cheshunt Village FC squad. For Abbots Langley FC, it left the players with a lot of soul-searching to do, and manager Adam Devine, was facing calls to be sacked (he wasn’t in the end), by some vocal fans.

The fairytale eventually came to an end in the next round. At Apsley FC, a Challenge League side, despite a valiant effort, Cheshunt Village lost 1-0. However, games like this showed the GWFA Cup can produce some moments of magic in the game, and it’s excitement as a knockout tournament is unrivalled. For 90 minutes, a team of amateurs can go toe-to-toe with a team of Super League players, and the amateurs can win. Next time, I’ll continue on with the GWFA Cup, and a second fairytale story of last year’s tournament.

Robert Rainshaw

[Stvoto Latoli]

Section: Home Page
Section: Local News
Section: Business
*** Section: Sport ***
Section: Entertainment
Section: Opinion

Early Promise, Late Collapse

18 February 4015 - Although for one half of football the Golden Crows of the Maritime Empire looked as though they could steal a result from Group 10's highest ranked nation, the balance of play finally began to shift in the more prestigious team's direction. In the end, the Sarian's victory was quite easy, solve from about ninety seconds of madness after Leagh Gilmore pulled one of the Bustards' two goals back. The Gold-Whites' performance is nothing at all to be ashamed of, but it does appear to have put any hope of World Cup qualification to bed.

Despite fears that Farf referee Icept Bribes might be up to his usual tricks, IE leaving open suitcases just outside the door of his dressing room and winking ostentatiously at managers al Tameer and Bauer, there was very little to fuss over in terms of discipline. Four times the yellow came out of Bribes' pocket, and with the exception of the first of the match (which appeared to be an honest mistake), all were good calls. In the eighth minute, Jacobo Yap was cautioned for persistent infringement... only problem was that Bribes had the wrong guy. It was Maxim Tunis who'd collected a hatful of minor fouls in the match's opening minutes - the event in question (tripping up abd al Raziq as the Stvoto Latolisi center back ventured forward) was Yap's first infraction of the day. It was, it appeared, an unfortunate simple error, rather than some sort of foul play.

Stvoto Latoli went from strength to strength after that. Confident of their ability to pass out of the back of their formation, as they have done well recently, the Golden Crows repeatedly cut into the middle of the Sarian's formation, bypassing vice-captain Methuselah Meeuwessen and the concerned-that-Bribes-would-remember-to-book-him-and-therefore-a-bit-cautious Tunis. In the 19th minute, Zhetroyzheleigu Zowbowbyuthi went on one of his trademark heart-attack inducing runs down the pitch, and the hulking defender, who many often forget has quite good dribbling skills, avoided the interfering challenges of Meeuwessen and Shaw. With the visitors clearly having watched the tape of Leagh Gilmore's goal against Milchama, set up from a similar position when the Warriors tried to close Zowbowbyuthi down, the Bustards stayed back and allowed the Brewers center back to continue to march ahead. He thought about taking a shot, but in the end simply laid the ball off for Khalil Kerrigan, who had a pop from about twenty-three yards. The cracking shot wasn't too difficult for Matthieu Soleil to parry away, though, and Stvoto Latoli won a corner. Zowbowbyuthi was involved once again as his headed shot thumped off the crossbar... but Bribes correctly observed that the Chartreuse-Oranges' defender had raised an elbow rather dangerously as he went up for the header with William Peters. He was booked, the Bustards were given a goal kick, and the danger passed.

But that was how the first half went, mostly - the Sarian's players biding their time while the Maritime Empire probed the visitors' formation, looking for a chance to score an opener. Mha nearly scored a wonder goal when he volleyed an O'Bearga cross inches wide of the post, and Athey put up a half-hearted penalty shout after being shouldered off the ball by Alfred Yates, but Group 10's third place team kept it nil nil as the two teams headed into the dressing rooms for the break. It was in the second forty-five that things began to go wrong for the Gold-Whites.

It began in the 52nd minute. Jabbar al Amri's poise on the ball offered him a chance to play the ball down the wing for Kerrigan, but instead he cut back inside and this allowed Greig Oster to poke the ball out from under the Brewers central midfielder's feet. Zowbowbyuthi arrived in time to hoof the ball down the pitch before Simon Shaw could claim possession, but the long ball was obviously too far ahead of the strikers to pose a real threat. That didn't stop Mha from dashing ahead to try and keep the ball from going over the end line, and when it became clear he wouldn't get to it, he threw himself to the ground inside the box, hoping to fool the controversial Farf referee. It didn't work, and the yellow came out for diving.

Six minutes later, in the 58th, the Sarian were putting their first real concerted pressure on Stvoto Latoli's goal, and when Yeriyahu Masters sneaked past Kerrigan, suddenly a big hole appeared and abd al Raziq had to throw in a very risky sliding tackle in order to play the ball out for a corner. The Lobyuseistvooshu center back definitely got ball before he got man, but Masters' theatrical writhing on the grass infuriated the Stvoto Latolisi players - they wanted to see the yellow that Mha had received applied equally to Masters. (It is the opinion of the Observer Online that Bribes made exactly the right call - it wasn't a penalty, as abd al Raziq had definitely caught ball during his reckless tackle, but it also wasn't a yellow because the contact with Masters was real and had abd al Raziq not touched the ball it would have, without any sliver of a doubt, been a penalty.) Once the Farf official had clarified his actions to the players, the teams set up for a corner, which William Peters matter-of-factly headed past Lyu (who made a rare mistake in hesitating as he came off his line, leaving him in no-man's-land as the shot flew by).

The goalscoring defender was taken off in the 83rd minute, after twenty-five minutes of play that went in the Bustards' favor. Surprisingly, it was striker Xaver Rodgers who came on... clearly Bauer, who rumor has it has been under some duress from higher ups within the Sarian's FA, was worried the crafty home side would somehow dig up an equalizer. Fans at Trogu How cheerfully watched with glee - they suspected Bauer had played right into al Tameer's hands by moving toward more attacking tactics so late. That was, of course, until two minutes later, when Rodgers promptly spun around Gilmore and nutmegged Zowbowbyuthi to earn himself an easy tap in past an again-out-of-position Lyu (hey, even the best players have off days, and the Golden Crows' captain certainly did). It was two nil.

Fans were bitter after that, and began filing out of the stadium early, their World Cup Finals dreams in tatters. They felt, largely without base, that the refereeing had been slanted against them, and that the Sarian had used negative snatch-and-grab tactics (which is rich, because these are tactics the Maritime Empire often employs). The fans who were still slouched in their seats at Trogu How got to see Gilmore score a scrappy consolation goal to halve the deficit, and a flurry of late attacks nearly resulted in an equalizer when Usama O'Bearga's floating header agonizingly drifted over the crossbar, but the Bustards held the line and walked off the pitch and out onto the dark streets of Tobyumosyu with an all-important win.

1 - 2

Information

Venue: Trogu How, Tobyumosyu, Stvoto Latoli
Attendance: 76,000
Referee: Icept Bribes (Farfadillis)
Man/Woman of the Match: William Peters (The Sarian)

Managers

Stvoto Latoli: Brendan al Tameer (Stvoto Latoli)
The Sarian: Daniel Bauer (Rutenbach)

Squads

Stvoto Latoli: Lyu; Gilmore, Zowbowbyuthi, abd al Raziq; al Amri (Gheberihiq 87'), Bei, O'Bearga, Kerrigan, Eji, Mha (Kourouma 65'); Athey (al Ghalib 87')
The Sarian: Soleil; Stone, Peters (Rodgers 83'), Yates (Clarkson 70'), Bermudez; Masters, Meeuwessen, Tunis, Oster; Yap (Gunther 52'), Shaw

Goals

Stvoto Latoli: Gilmore 90+2'
The Sarian: Peters 58', Rodgers 85'

Next Match

Opponent: @ Zenic
Venue: Philosophia Colosseum, Manacus, Zenic
Stvoto Latoli's Projected Starting XI: Lyu; Gilmore, Kourouma, abd al Raziq; al Amri, Bei, O'Bearga, Shegalo, Eji, Irmedheghi; Athey
Referee: Police Officer AKSH283 (Gregoryisgodistan)

[Alasdair I Frosticus]

OOC - see the Holy Empire roster for a detailed explanation of what's going on here.


World Cup 72
An oratorio by Jorge Handeles

ACT 3, SCENE 4
(Tumbra in the Imperial Hippodrome)

Recitative - 'Lo, I Shall Inspire Thee'
(Andres Daphopates as Juan Tzimisces)

Lo, I shall inspire thee
By describing the tactics thou shalt use to win
And achieve victory today
'Gainst Tumbra


Trio - 'We Are Inspired'
(Eustathius Boilaso, Manuel Strategopouloso, and Zoe Dalasseno)

We are inspir-ed
Uplifted
Inspir-ed and uplifted
Insp-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-
i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-red
Inspir-ed and uplifted

Many goals shall we score today
In seeking out the victory

We are inspir-ed
Uplifted
Inspir-ed and uplifted


Chorus - 'Forward Now to Victory'

Forward now to victory
Over outmatched Tumbra
They fall before us like crumbling walls
Collapsing in a siege.

Forward now to victory
Over outmatched Tumbra
They are cast aside like lowly peons
Facing full-clad knights


Recitative - 'Now Shall I Achieve Apotheosis'
(John Monachuso)

Now shall I achieve apotheosis
By scoring my side's fifth goal
To take a five - one lead
Behold, as I launch myself through the air
To score with a bicycle kick!


Aria - 'Mighty is This Work of Wonder'
(John Monachuso)

Mighty is this work of wonder
The goal that I hath scored
The goal! The goal!
The goal that I hath scored

It is a thing of beauty
Of skill still quite unmatched
It is a thing of beauty
That Tumbra cannot match

Mighty is this work of wonder
The goal that I hath scored
The goal! The goal!
The goal that I hath scored


Chorus - 'A Time of Ease We Surely Earn'

A time of ease we surely earn
With this vict'ry seven-two
Of ease, of ease, of e-e-e-e-ase
A time of ease we surely earn
With this vict'ry seven-two

Seven players hath scored seven goals
To let us win today
All midfielders and forwards
Hath scored for us today!

A time of ease we surely earn
With this vict'ry seven-two
Of ease, of ease, of e-e-e-e-ase
A time of ease we surely earn
With this vict'ry seven-two


---------------------------------------------------------------------


ACT 4, SCENE 1
(Tumbra in the Imperial Hippodrome)

<hushed voice of announcer>
Act 4, scene 1 of Handeles' oratorio is the famous (to some infamous) 90-minute minimalist sequence. We have done our best to replicate this here, though it defies attempts to render it as a 'normal' libretto.

[all parts are sung simultaneously, but in different time signatures; the duet part is sung in 4/4, the chorus part in 6/8, and the soloist company part in alternating 3/4 & 5/4; these parts are then repeated continuously over the full 90 minutes of the act, with the three vocal parts intertwining. The simple 9/8 orchestral part is similarly repeated behind the vocal parts]

Duet part
(Andres Daphophates as Juan Tzimisces & Isaac Gemisto as Simeone Di Bradini)

We'll win today


Chorus part

'Gainst United North States


Soloist Company part

Lead three nil
And then win three-two

[Flardania]

美しいフォルムのストレッチ！
Kitsunes win during first ever match in Imgeum, Kitsunes record third straight win
Français|日本語|한국의|English
FBC News | Flardanian Broadcasting Corporation

---

Report by Aoki Muranaka

Hikaru Kyosuke in a much more pleasant mood following win.

After a disastrous world cup opener, the Kitsunes have seemed to have turned it around and on paper seem to be on par to finish identical to the previous World Cup. 5th out of 8th. Which being the Kitsunes only second World Cup circuit is acceptable how ever it would certainly look a little bad if the Kitsunes could not at least get the 16 pts they finished with last qualifiers. With 3 matches to go the Kitsunes need at least 4 pts to remain at least consistent. On paper this would seem achievable with a team ranked 304th and unranked amoung the three, but one must remember that Kirishima was only able to draw with Arabnesia and Boslenia in the first half. Also who could forget the strange injury to Papadopulos last time the Kitsunes faced Apox. Surely it will be difficult for Kirishima to at least match last cup performance but not impossible. Manager Hikaru Kyosuke had this to say:

"We went out the last three games and did exactly what we had to do to get to this spot. Did we dig ourselves a hole in the beginning? Absolutely. Should we have won those must wins against Arabnesia and Boslenia and at least draw against Hodife in the first round? Yes. Would we still have a chance of qualifying and smash our point expectations? Definitely! However that is in the past, I am thankful that draws equal a point and we can still make up our failures in the end. We are in control of our destiny in the final push. I need to make sure while we are at a lower rank with last circuits Baptism of Fire fresh in our minds to stay consistent in the groups if not better. It is still possible. Apox? It's going to be tough again but hopefully the ants over there are nicer *laughter in room* Anyways I want to thank the fans for hanging on this tough ship and remember that even if we can't pull out a draw against this 25th rank team, remember they are just that ranked 25th. We still have two more matches we should win to get at least 4 pts.

Tonight's match will be played Apox. It will be the first time these two teams will meet since the captain was bitten by an ant in Kairaku. An Arabnesia and Boslenia loss and a Kirishima win or draw would be beneficial in latter making a move up the table or remaining in the fifth spot. One can imagine fans urging their team on tonight chanting four more points. For those at home, games can be seen on Nagatomo Sport Network (NSN) and Saito Broadcast Channel (SBC) in Japanese or French. For those seeking English broadcast check local network listings.

Flardania 1 - 0 Maklohi Vai 
Yabuta(85') 

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[Vilita]

Vilitan Adjusted Rankings

Spare Vilitan Math Cycles used to Compare Nations

ALIKKI-CORRA, VILITA No sooner did the Vilitan Football Association announce that the Vilita national team would no longer use a players Average Performance rating at the National Team level to factor in to that players future select-ability for National Team fixtures, did the Vilitan Football Association re-focus the attention of its mathematicians on a new problem: The under-appreciated difference between a ranking, and ranking points.

The issue has come to light recently after some media outlets have attacked the World Cup qualifying performances of some reasonably highly "ranked' nations in the World Cup Committees official rankings, generated using the KPB formula.

However, always quick to rebuke the overzealous claims of greed-driven media outlets, Vilitan mathematicians were quick to step in and put together some data suggesting why their poor performances may not be quite as unexpected as the extreme-scene media wants readers to think.

Mitkalai Enrela'a, a Vilitan mathematician on staff at the Vilitan Football Federation explained the output, referred to as the Vilitan Adjusted Rankings.

"Its really not that hard in concept when you think about it", Enrela'a claimed, The 1-377 system of ranks that you see in the official World Cup rankings is completely arbitrary. Yes, it means that the 2nd ranked team is the team with the 2nd higher ranking. But no, it does not mean that the 2nd rank team is equally as close to being the 1st ranked team as they are to being the 3rd ranked team. In fact, its really quite the opposite".

"If you, for a minute, just take the number of ranking points that the top team has, Osarius, its 58.05. Divide that by the total number of ranked nations - 377. Thats how many "points" each position is worth 0.15 points."

"Now, lets slot nations into ranking positions based on the true, adjusted ranks that reflect the real gap in points between each nations".

"Instead of assigning a rank to each nation, we'll assign the nation to their "True Rank" instead."

There is a 5.28 point gap between the highest ranked team, Osarius, and the next highest ranked team, Pasarga. Divide that gap by the 0.15 points per ranking position, and Pasarga true ranking is actually 34 places behind Osarius - not one.

The same logic can be applied to all nations. In fact, using "Real Ranks" - only the 3 highest point getting nations would even be ranked in the top 100. 4th highest seed The Holy Empire would be ranked 116th. 25th ranked Apox would be ranked 206th and 50th ranked Zenic would be ranked 277th in an adjusted Real Rankings scenario.

What that means is, in terms of Real Rankings, the 20th highest ranked team in the official WCC Rankings is actually closer in terms of quality to the 377th and last ranked team than they are to the #1 ranked team, Osarius.

"Doesn't seem like as much of an upset now, does it!" said Enrela'a, in closing his remarks.

[Volcanoc]

VOLCANIC FIVE WONDERS

Hi there. I'm Priest Guide Harrison. I'm a tourist guide. I must say it's rather fun, driving people around Volcanoc, giving them the chance to be photo bombed... Aah, just the life! Well, have you heard about the so called '7 Wonders of the World'? Well, those things are phony items! These are the real 5 Wonders of the World, all in one fantastic country...

ÆRGMAR TEMPLE, CASABLANCA The Æergmar is a Volcanic tourist attraction. Millions of people come every year to the 'Aægy', mainly to witness the fine architecture of this beautiful temple. Built in 276 AD, the temple is a white marble fortress! With vines wrapped around its marble & the opportunity to take home a tiny bit of a fallen wall, this attraction brings many to the eastern area of Casablanca. The temple has not been used since 1929, and the southern wall was knocked down in 1983, but many people still list this as the best attraction in Volcanoc.

SERGMAR HOUSE, ŃORTH CASABLANCA I assume your kids like haunted houses? Because this is one! Originally used as the house of Priest Dorells back from 1861 when he was 9 to 1927 when he died, his body fell from his chair when he had a heart attack, and so he died. However, it is believed that the wind coming in through a open window pushed Dorell's body to the basement. It is then believed that basement door was locked by the wind, with the keys in the basement. It is believed that bit of wind is down there with him still, and occasionally causes Dorell to make noises! Howzat for scary?

ERTHONAS TOWN HALL, ERTHON A majority of the Volcanic football team players grew up in Erthon and witnessed this wonder! The Erthon Town Hall may sound like a business place, but instead, it is the best piece of architecture anybody has ever seen! The town hall was built in 1986 in the shape of a bomb. You can go inside and dance with an awesome view... Of tourists taking photos! Wowee! Anyways, this town hall was used from 1986-2007, before a new one was built 800m away, but this building is left standing, and treated better than the new one!
What a wonder!

Stay tuned for Part 2, next time on VTV!

[Sargossa]

SSM | Sargossan State Media

International Edition - Sport In Brief


Corsairs Stop Rot


Mario Najar reports;

It was far from being pretty but it was a win and at this stage that’s really all we’re all hoping for. San Llera arrived in the Sargossan capital with a gameplan, to defend stoutly and largely frustrate the opposition, and it very nearly worked. But for the second half intervention of veteran forward Saturnín Quinteros, who turned on a sixpence in the penalty area before firing low passed San Lleran keeper Chimo Fons to claim all three points. And that was the game, just the one goal needed to seal it, meaning San Llera are the only side not to have scored against the Corsairs in this campaign. It was a timely win too, ending a run of successive defeats and edging the nation a little bit closer to a third World Cup playoff in the last five campaigns.

Elsewhere in the group the top seeded Holy Empire are all but assured of their place at the World Cup, although they were forced to work for it at the rock bottom United North States. The group leaders hold a six point lead over second placed Sargossa with just nine left to play for. Jeruselem are four points further back and go no longer qualify for the Final directly, but warmed up for their crucial fixture against the Corsairs with an impressive 3 – 0 win in Omerica. And Tumbra kept their slim playoff hopes alive with a home win over Viktoria.

There was a new face on the Sargossan bench for the visit of San Llera and his influence may well have been felt almost immediately as the side kept a rare clean sheet. Having dispensed with the services of defensive coach Germán Moya following a series of defensively weak performances that have seen the side concede on average two goals a game. He has been replaced by former El Nacional defender Diego Jara, who had been filling a similar role at the Independiente before getting the call from the Football Federation.

[Starlarknia]

STARLARKY; SWORDEANS AGAIN EQUAL 2ND AFTER WIN

The Sword Bloke has been rocked in recent days, with the shock bombing of Owneristanol by San Jose Guayabal. The Swordean dictator Shop Owner will attend a memorial service for the many victims. The Swordean population are also affected; They are at risk of death from somebody other than Shop Owner. Luckily for them, soccer is a great distraction. And today, they had an easy game that they were red-hot favourites to win.

Against who, you ask? Starlarknia, of course. Our opponents had very little experience in the international sporting realm before being drawn in Group 20 of the World Cup. The Swordeans were 3rd in their group, being ruled out of 2nd because of the Unified Sunrise Island's better goal difference, while the Sandwiches from Sandwich Territories are first in our group.

The Swordeans had the advantage of starting off with the strong Starlarknian wind their way. McAldo & Jells Kondrii were waiting for the whistle to blow. While they were waiting, shirtless Swordean fans lifted up posters stating 'Death to all of Guayabal' & 'Prayers to Owneristanol, Bombs to SJG' among other things. The whistle blew. The game started. Jells Kondrii ran down the field. The Fans were cheering...

In the 12th minute, the Swordeans were quite unlucky, with yet another offside goal. Jells Kondrii, the fast 180cm forward was running here, there and everywhere. He this time ran another hard run, ending up passing it to an offside Daniel Barnet-Murray, who tried an awesome scissor kick goal, which unfortunately didn't work out, though it ended up in the net. Swordean fans looked like they were about to jump onto the field and kill the referee. Luckily, they didn't, because if they did, we would be forced to forfeit the game. How sad. Luckily, as I said, that did not happen. Anyways...

32 minutes of defensive play isn't anything that happens often. With the Swordeans, it does, though. Guess how long they were defensive for? 32 minutes. So in the 44th minute, the Swordeans started attacking. After a horrible Starlarknian corner by Dudey Dude went straight to John Antle. Antle passed to Kondrii, who did what he had been doing for most of the game, running. He evantually ran down to the box, before kicking it terribly, making it hit the post. It evantually rebounded to the Starlarknian goalie. Would have been a good goal by the guy who this qualifiers, finally made his return to football, 12 months after last playing for That Team, in the game he will dread for life; The day he ruptured his anterior cruciate ligament, or ACL, and was told he would require a knee reconstruction. Luckily, that was the last, and he's back and fit now.

After half time, the Swordeans were prepared for the 2nd half, the half they are known for performing well in every day. They started off well, as usual. Jamie Haigh again continued his good form. Jells Kondrii continued his awesome running form. But at the moment there wasn't anything they could do. Until the 57th minute...

In the 57th minute, Jells Kondrii bombed it into the box for McAldo to score. McAldo was in an offside position. Yes, when he touched the ball, he was offside. Yes, the flag went up. But it just happened at the moment the courageous McAldo was pushed down by the Starlarknian defender. The ref had no choice but to give Starlarknia a red card. It was the penalty for McAldo to take. And what did he do? He slotted a Panenka kick successfully, with the goalie jumping the left while the ball smashed into the middle.

The few Swordean fans who travelled to Starlarknia erupted into cheers. McAldo hailed WorldVision, Jells Kondrii took a sip of a Swordean fan's cola, WorldVision 39 entrant One-Hit Jimson, who gave the Swordeans their highest ever position of 22nd, started singing and the fans started chanting. It was the perfect 57th minute goal.

The Starlarknians nearly slotted one in when they got a penalty. Ormond Langford's tackle on Brody Bro, however, could only warrant a yellow card. Brody Bro stood up to take his penalty kick in the 82nd minute, and... Hit the crossbar. George Haklim couldn't get his hand to it the first time. Brody Bro tried heading it in, but Haklim caught that. The Swordeans were destined to win now.

And obviously they did. The fans went wild after the victory, like they have with every other Swordean victory. The Swordeans, however, were still equal 2nd; Well, 3rd, with the Unified Sunrise Islands having a better goal difference than the Swordeans, having got a 3-0 victory on the same Saturday night as the Swordeans against Electrum. The Swordeans secured a shock 1-0 victory against the Sunrisians in their 8th matchday. Who knows how the Swordeans will progress? I don't exactly know, but they will be good, and that is a guarantee.

Next up for the Swordeans is Electrum; The Electrumites from Rushmore are 4th in our group; The Swordeans are 6 points ahead of the Rushmori nation. A win should all but guarantee that 2 of 3 nations will make it into the top 2 spots; Yours Truly, the Sandwich Territories & the Unified Sunrise Islands. Our prediction is us first and straight into the finals, while the Sunrisians just make it into the playoffs on goal difference, and win and go into the group stage. I don't know what will happen... But we will qualify.

Dudey and Brody are to be permanently called up for the squad!!!

[Semarland]

LIVE UPDATES – SEMARLAND V KAZAMATSURI

Welcome to the Natunolstadion where we’ll be providing you minute-by-minute coverage of one Semarland’s most crucial qualifying games yet.

First, let’s take a look at the teams:

Semarland line up in a basic 4-4-2 formation. Marco Valbuena returns between the goalposts, with a back four of Matur Eiriksson, Matjas Nordland, Jakob Lunds and Matthias Karbruck. Eirik Malsen is rested for the game against Eura. Abel Nkutu, Marc Strand, Demba Cisse and Diego Snow make up the midfield, with Marc Lygaard and Yannick Simeone up front.

Kazamatsuri line up with a 4-2-3-1. Aki Mikawa in goal, a back four of Minami Tsukade, Takara Sugihara, Kazu Shimura and Naruko Akechi, Minatsu Jinnai and Yuki Higashikuni in holding midfield, Rei Kira and Kaori Toyota on the wings, and Sachiko Sakurada playing behind Suzuno Skokuho.

1’ – And Semarland get the game underway, kicking from left to right, towards the Martin Kolterheim stand. Marc Strand sprays a lovely pass out wide to Snow, but his cross isn’t the most accurate and Kazu Shimura can head away.

3’ – First real chance of the games comes to Kazamatsuri, with a lovely through ball from Jinnai finding Toyota, who glides round Eiriksson and crosses into Shokuho who heads just inches over the bar. Valbuena looked slightly beaten and Andreas Jansen won’t be too pleased from the poor marking by Nordland and Lunds.

6’ – Abel Nkutu is waving frantically for a penalty here. Naruko Akechi was well and truly beaten by the Kolberg winner, and seemed to make him go to ground but the referee seems to have ignored it. And Nkutu has now been booked for supposed dissent, a decision bound to raise a few eyebrows.

8’ – The refereeing team looking a little inept here today as Semar coach Johan Grindmark is sent to the stands. For exchanging words with a Kazamatsurian coach, Anders Pierson I think. Or it could’ve been Akira Mitsumine, both names looking a little similar from where I am. I’ll try and find out.

9’ – Yeah, it was Pierson. Something quite weird about these officials. Crazy rant from Yemi Appiah-Jansen inbound, bless him. And Semarland have a good chance to score as Yannick Simeone directs Diego Snow’s cross just wide of the post. It seems to have deflected off a Kazamatsurian player, and we have a corner.

10’ – GOALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!! Simeone heads home!!! Lovely inswinging corner from Eiriksson and Simeone rises higher than Higashikuni and Tsukade to powerfully head it past a dumbstruck Aki Mikawa. 1-0 to Semarland!

12’ – Hopefully no signs of complacency here as the usually ever-reliable Jakob Lunds slips up and almost allows Shokuho a chance at goal. Thankfully Nordland is there to clear it up and Nkutu has the ball on the left. He tries to go past Akechi, but she isn’t having it and fouls him again. Cheerful girl, isn’t she.

15’ – GOAL! The Kazamatsurians equalise. Not a clue what Valbuena was doing out of the six yard box but Suzuno Shokuho just loops it over his head from outside the box. Quite a fancy finish. Angry words from Matur Eiriksson and Matthias Karbruck to the disgruntled Valbuena, who responds by shoving his former club teammate Karbruck in the chest. Demba Cisse breaks up this altercation.

19’ – Free kick to Semarland. Marc Lygaard, who has been rather quiet today, takes it and produces a rather acrobatic save out of Mikawa, who tips it behind for a corner. It’s taken by Snow, but cleared away by Jinnai and Kazamatsuri break.

20’ – Or they try to, at least. Karbruck holts Rei Kira in her tracks and brings it forward, finding Strand. Strand beats his marker and bang! GOAL! And what a beauty it is. 2-1 to Semarland!

21’ – More on the goal. Strand just, collected it, swerved past his marker, who I think was number 5, Shimura, and plays a neat one two with Cisse and slams it home past Mikawa!

26’ – Sort of fizzled down a bit here, with not many chances let alone attacking play in these last five minutes. Shokuho almost got her second but it was blocked by Lunds and Cisse hit quite a fraction over the bar, but that’s really in what has been a mainly lively game.

30’ – Some bizarre reason Grindmark is allowed to return to the Semar technical area, glaring at Pierson along the way. Fortunately the ever calm Mako Albrechtsen is there to calm him down. Good job Johannes Pedersen didn’t collect him or half of the Kazamatsurian staff would be taking trips to the dentist for false teeth!

33’ – Better play from Semarland now. Lygaard and Simeone looking more lively but Strand is absolutely running the show. To be fair he was quite slow but has improved due to the injuries of Florent Marcssen and Yacouba Sakho vacating the central midfield berth. He’s a great attacking midfielder, don’t get me wrong, but there’s at least three players coming up in that position soon and Strand looks a natural in a more neutral role.

34’ – Speaking of one of those players, Marc Lindstrom, it’s just been confirmed that he has joined Polaa side SC Martinsberg on a season-long loan. The other two I had in mind, Eric Nti-Bonso and Rene Claro-Hunt, are probably gonna stay put. Rene Claro-Hunt, in my opinion, has got the potential to go a LONG way with Semarland. Back to the game, and Jinnai’s low drive just goes wide of Valbuena’s post.

37’ – OFFSIDE! Kazamatsuri have the ball in the net but it’s been flagged as offside. Good defending play from Nordland and Lunds who are looking quite a solid partnership. Nordland’s usually been kept out by Soren Pedersen, but seeing as he’s injured Nordland’s got his chance to shine. The ever-dynamic Shokuho was played through by Toyota, but was deemed to be behind Nordland. Just by a fraction. Good call.

41’ – As we approach half time, it’s getting a little more…calm. When I say calm I mean like a diluted derby as that cheerful girl Akechi is still trying to hack away at Nkutu. I wonder who’ll be at the wedding.

42’ – And it turns out the wedding is off as Nkutu produces a piece of wonderful skill to turn the 21 year old inside out. Looking embarrassed, she makes a rather half-hearted run to try and stop him, but it’s too late and he floats a cross in. Unfortunately though, Simeone’s header is off target and it’s a goal kick.

45+2’ – HALF TIME! Semarland lead by one goal in a rather tight, and on Semarland’s left hand side, short-tempered affair. Join us in 15 minutes for the second half.

46’ – Three substitutions made by Kazamatsuri, one by Semarland. Jakob Lindesfarne is brought on for Yannick Simeone, who got the first goal but has seemed to have picked up a knock. Funnily enough, it wasn’t inflicted by Akechi but Simeone seemed to have tripped over. Mysterious. Rintaro Shiina is brought on for the rather lacklustre Jinnai and Tsumiki Gasai replaces Higashikuni. Fortunatly for Abel Nkutu, Akechi is replaced by Takumi Enomoto.

47’ – Ha. Enomoto looks rather timid when Nkutu has the ball. Bless him, he’s only 15. Mind you, I thought Akechi would’ve instructed the youngster to hack away at her fiancée opponent but that doesn’t seem to be the case.

51’ – GOAL! 3-1. Jakob Lindesfarne gets a third. Cutting inside the left hand post, he fires home with his weaker foot and the ball just narrowly evades Mikawa’s outstretched hand. Good finish. The not-so-cuddly Kazamatsurians look rather dejected now, and seem to have lost hope. Wonder if Akechi would’ve given them a good kicking…okay I’ll stop now before she gets me.

57’ – Tunji Tunde and Marcel Labonne warming up a bit more extensively now. Strand and Cisse have both been very solid, particularly Strand, but are starting to look just a little tired now. Would be best to rest them both for the game against Eura next.

60’ – Yep, just as I thought. The final substitutions are made as Labonne replaces Strand and Tunde replaces Cisse. Tunde’s impressed me quite a bit, hard to believe it was two years ago now he made his debut in the last WC, he feels like a veteran. Wish I could say the same for Labonne, he’s looked a bit shaky but that probably owes down to the injuries he unfortunately sustained in recent weeks.

63’ – Good chance for Kazamatsuri and probably their first this half. 37 year old defensive midfielder Rintaro Shiina proves he still has some bite in him at that ages as he lashes off a rather explosive shot from 35 yard that rattles Valbuena’s crossbar and is subsequently cleared by Nordland. Mind you, at 37, Andreas Jansen was doing that day in, day out for club and country. Just saying.

74’ – GOAL! 4-1. Surely that’s sealed it now. And it’s captain fantastic Marc Lygaard who rounds off a good performance with a well taken finish. Tsukade is beaten at the far post by Diego Snow who squares it to Lygaard, who controls it with a well taken touch before placing it into Mikawa’s far post. Centre-backs Sugihara and Shimura have looked pretty strong, but they haven’t been able to handle Semarland’s attack, to be fair.

80’ – Goal. 4-2. Kazamatsuri half the deficit and it’s Shiina. An absolute cracker of a goal from the 37 year old who absolutely hammers it into the far top corner from what, 35 yards out? Even Sanders Mykjar would be impressed. Absolute thunderbolt of a goal.

84’ – The game is slowing down more now despite the fact that Kazamatsuri are, somewhat, back in it. Nordland and Lunds, despite looking tired, are still looking pretty safe and solid at the back and I think Labonne and Tunde have dropped back a little bit to give them corner all across the defensive line as Eiriksson in particular starts to overlap Nkutu. Karbruck on the other hand, doesn’t look as attacking.

88’ – Almost five for Semarland as Jakob Lindesfarne flicks it over. Good play from Labonne in the centre of the park who plays a one two with Snow before lofting it over Tsukade’s head for Lindesfarne to flick over the crossbar.

90+3’ – AND ITS FULL TIME! Semarland 4-2 Kazamatsuri. The Semars go into an even more crucial game against Eura with a positive attitude and a strong three points. Come on you Semars!

SEMARLAND: Marco Valbuena, Matur Eiriksson, Matjas Nordland, Jakob Lunds, Matthias Karbruck, Abel Nkutu, Marc Strand (Marcel Labonne 60), Demba Cisse (Tunji Tunde 60), Diego Snow, Marc Lygaard, Yannick Simeone (Jakob Lindesfarne HT)

[Nassau-Hessen]

Well, The Buck Stopped Somewhere
Faced With A Heart-Breaker, The Hessian Future Lies Through the Hornets
Nova Anglicana 3–0 Nassau

The Group of intrigues and scrappy underdogs just got a little less intriguing. With a possible shift of the second place holding for the first time since the nascent of the 72nd qualifiers occurring, the opposite of unexpected happened. Usually, the Eagles (who have personally run into some undesirable upsets this tournament) would've rejoiced at this news, but alas, they found themselves in an underdog position against Nova Anglicana. The Lions overcame the Eagles in solid fashion. It wasn't enough to be close or to be a blowout either, it was merely a monotone overcoming. Audioslavia recovered dominance and won the group with an expectedly solid victory, the promising Pruski's overcame the mystifying Marettan assembly, and the Hornets got back on track by robbing Arcantova of points. In all essentiality, the expected happened to the dismay of the Eagles. After all, the Nassauites came into the past match day on a seemingly insurmountable confidence high. A victory against the Lions would've heightened what felt like a peak. But the potent Nova Anglicana, just like they have done to so many other rosters, have nearly landed the Hessian aspiration...at least for now.

Momentum was nearly tangible during the pre-game at Londinium. The squad, still half celebrating from the incredulous draw against Audioslavia would pay for their distractions with a price most severe. This price was of their contemporary hopes being whisked away at a few taps of the ball. The match initiated, and straight away did the Lions exploit the Hessen's delirious state. At the fourth minute, #10 Emmanuel Moga set to business straightaway by managing to pound in one after receiving his own shots rebound from Roper. Sandy Roper, also on a tremendous high (especially with him being the one to personally blank the Bulls) was shocked, caught off guard to say the very least. The onslaught didn't end thence, however. For ten bloody minutes did the severe Anglican onslaught last, scoring yet another time at 9'. This time the scorer was an equally potent offense-men by the name of Jake Rhodes. Yet another uncontainable rebound, yet another scoring inside the rectangle. Before the game was 15% over, the Eagles found themselves already down in a two goal hole. The rest of the half wasn't even equally possessed, for Nova Anglicana dominated play and generally kept it on Nassau's end (perhaps not to as much of a scoring threat during those moments, but their under-evaluated formidability was fairly easily reacquainted back into the minds of the Hessian roster). However, some hope was regained as the classic offensive duo of Chubbs and Zarambaga momentarily stormed into goalie Thomas Barnett's zone with some convincing passing play and scoring threats. This was all to no avail, however, as the only net the strikers and midfielders could catch was on the outside portion of the goal. Soon, Nova Anglicana was able to revert play into some opportunities of their own. Fleming and Rhodes (looking for a second annotation) were a couple of surnames that created quality chances before the half expired. However, with minimal fouls and other interruptions of play, the first half soon ceased as both weary teams who gave it their utmost efforts on the field entered their respective dressing rooms.

The second half of the match resumed much like it began in the first, with an aggressive onslaught from the Lions. After multiple rejections by Sandy Roper, the Hessen appeared to finally inch out of their zone. This effort was inauspiciously met by a swipe from Jake Rhodes and a raiding of the large rectangle anew. Knowing the vitality of stopping goals whence trailing by a pair, #87 Shem Bracegirdle went in for a daring tackle. Much to his dismay, the tackle was off, and a PK ensued after he was issued a yellow card and hastily replaced by the much more conservative and scrupulous Wilibald Similo. Taking the kick was forward Chris Hodges, a strong component to the Anglican force. Before or after the shot, there was truly no pondering of the outcome. Hodges slid the ball with prowess, and put a three goals to none distance from the Hessen during the 54th minute. The Hessen floored whatever energy remained in them. Even with this, the much more historically successful Lions handled the effort with equal reciprocated pressure to continue this surge. For roughly twenty minutes did the Roar remain calm, cool, and collected. This was all until the aggressive Jake Rhodes finally broke in an agitated tackle, resulting in his yellow carding at 77'. This event incited a miniature all-out comeback effort for the Hessen. For the entire 80's, the Eagles pressed the Lions during every step to the finish. Despite the valiant scoring attempts and rallies by Chubbs and M&M, Barnett left whatever hope remained outside of the net. Expertly deflecting a few shots, he paved his way to an impressive blanking and gave his coach a brief respite from the onerous hot seat. After a justly assumed amount of stoppage time, the game finally finalized with the Nova Anglicans regaining some ground from the rest of the pack. They will most likely compete against the Nassau-Watford victor for 2nd place. A while back a news agency predicted the Lions to take second with Watford moderately behind. Although a fight to the finish appears imminent, the Pride still have an opportunity to fulfill this portending. Yet as most things go: time, the primary agent of all change, will soon tell.

Roper was perhaps the most glum of the entire team over the defeat. Going from earning a clean sheet against Audioslavia to playing mediocre against one of Nassau's most oftenly played Beltane rival was a dramatic, depressing shift of course. But even in this low, he knew that it wasn't his fault in entirety as his generally reliable defensive line let him down. From this experience, a glimmer of hope was yet present; the Eagles were to rematch a team they previously surmounted, Greater Watford. The winner of this second Beltane matchup would have their hopes of second place resuscitated. Not only that, but the Hessen have a comparably smoother schedule from thence on compared to their two BoF nemeses. Should Roper, Chubbs, and the rest of the roster win the next match, legitimacy of pursuit would surely be restored. However, some of the bottom feeders still plot to soil this escapade, the Eagles absolutely cannot underestimate an adversary for the remainder of the qualifiers. They must fight to the finish with all their humbly received resolve, and then enjoy the roller-coaster of the final three match days.

In other group news, with Audioslavia's clinching, so too did eliminations finally arrive. Arcantova and Maretta finally croaked after multiple match days of playing upset, with Royal Prussia and Bacclieu still on the chopping block. Each of these two remaining underdogs must at minimum win twice and tie once (Prusy has the aggregate advantage against the Lions by one, but if the Lions win one more match the duo will be eliminated). One loss from either of those parade rainers will also result in immediate elimination. After some disastrous trifles in results the Greater Watford Hornets have finally won a narrow 1-0 game against the Kings Own, putting them at even point standing against Nassau (Nassau currently holds the aggregate advantage against the Watfordians by one, but this may change by the next match, the Hornets hold an advantage in +/-). Besides the second chance, another remaining positive for the Hessen is that with one more victory they will surpass the points to games played ratio for two of their last three cups (two of three more wins will make this cup the most successful in Nassau's history in those terms). A third opportunity is knocking on the Eagles' door, but chance from then on won't knock any more.

Match-Day #: v./@ NATION...Away Stadium (Score)

Match-Day 1: v. Prusy Krolewskie (W 4-1)
Match-Day 2: @ Arcantova...Adapolf Stadium (W 1-0)
Match-Day 3: v. Audioslavia (L 1-4)
Match-Day 4: v. Nova Anglicana (L 3-5)
Match-Day 5: @ Greater Watford...TBA (W 1-0)
Match-Day 6: v. Maretta (L 2-4)
Match-Day 7: @ Bacclieu...TBA (L 1-2)
Mid Break Day: Break
Match-Day 8: @ Prusy Krolewskie...Stadion Heinemeyer (W 2-0)
Match-Day 9: v. Arcantova (W 3-2)
Match-Day 10: @ Audioslavia...TBA (T 0-0)
Match-Day 11: @ Nova Anglicana...Londinium (L 0-3)
Match-Day 12: v. Greater Watford
Match-Day 13: @ Maretta...Dorchester Field
Match-Day 14: v. Bacclieu

[Garifunya]

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

A car pulled up in front of a house in downtown Frederykvil. A smartly dressed older man got out of the driver's side door and proceeded to the trunk of the car. He looked both ways before unlocking the trunk of the car. Immanuel Prins was curled up inside. The man helped Prins climb out of the trunk before hurrying him up to the door of the house, where another man opened the door and rushed them both inside. Prins stretched and groaned mightily. "Was that really necessary, François?"

"I'm afraid so, sir. I'm sure that Gillaat has word out to the Jandaams by now that you are to be arrested. Now, we need to begin making plans for your removal from this city-"

"Not so fast, François," interrupted Prins. "The people are revolting against Gillaat; the moment we have been waiting for has finally arrived! I cannot leave now."

"What made you change your mind, sir? The plan was always to get you to a safe place where you could direct the campaign against him."

Prins paused before he continued, almost in a whisper. "As I was escaping through the kitchen, the staff blocked the guards from entering to allow me to make my exit. There was a shot. Who knows how many protestors will lie in the street before this day is over?" His voice hardened. "I cannot leave now, not when these people are giving their lives for our cause."

"Immanuel." François' harsh voice cracked across the silence. "You are no good to this movement dead. We cannot protect you as long as you stay in Frederykvil. Even this safe house is known about by the Jandaams. Every moment you delay is another moment the wolves draw closer to our door."

"I will not leave, François. I cannot be a coward who abandons the ones who fight for him in their hour of need." Prins straightened up. "Now tell me what we know about the situation."

The older man sighed. "Very well, sir. For the moment, the protestors have the Jandaams bottled up inside the Palace grounds, but tear gas is keeping them from advancing any further. We have put out the message through our neighborhood captains to block off the streets and to closely guard shops and the like to prevent looting."

A young man rushed into the room, coming up from the basement. "According to our latest information, Jandaams have engaged some of our militias in the streets, trying to remove the barricades! They have also started firing on the protestors at the Palace! Some of them are defending themselves with dropped riot shields, but they are in danger of being routed if we don't do something to support them. And our sources in the barracks say that Gillaat has given the order for the Laandmakt to join the Jandaamkorps by the Palace in suppressing the protestors."

"Merde!" shouted Prins. "Tell the protestors to fall back into the streets for now. Have them meet up with the militias and get as much barricade material to the Palace as possible. Send anyone home who isn't willing to fight." More softly, "I don't want anyone to die who doesn't want to." He thought for a moment before saying, "I had hoped Gillaat would show some restraint. The Laandmakt!", he cursed. "Who's on our side there?"

"Only Mastebroek of the generals and a third of the majors," replied François. "But we have most of the captains, nearly all of the junior officers, and many supporters among the enlisted men. If Gillaat were to call up the reserves, we would have a decent chance of stopping them from mobilizing or getting them to join our side."

"I don't want this to be solved with violence, but it may have to be," said Prins. "Tell our sympathizers to resist joining the Jandaams, but do nothing more if they don't have to. I don't want civil war and bloodshed in the barracks."

The young man who had reported the news peered out the window. He closed the curtain again, a look of shock on his face. "Sir! A truck full of Jandaams is approaching the house!"

"Quickly!", said François. "Into the basement!" He shooed Prins and the young man downstairs, closing the door behind them as a violent pounding began on the door of the house.

[Prusy Krolewskie]

Prusy Krolewskie wins on the road

Reprezentacja Pruski beat Maretta 2-1 on the road at Dorchester Field in Concord, Maretta. The team has now 3 wins in 11 games. Prusy Krolewskie attacked at the 8th minute when Krzysztof Januszkiewicz passed to Sascha Welzmüller. Sascha Welzmüller dribbles and passes to Sarah Schroffenegger who dribbles and makes a cross to Zbigniew Zajaczkowski. Zbigniew Zajaczkowski shoots but Peter Elliot makes the save. Maretta attacked at the 13th minute when Marvin Mayes passed to Benjamin Clarke who dribbles and makes a header pass to Christopher Clemons. Christopher Clemons heads the ball into Zofia Kwietniewska's hands. At the 19th minute, Derrick Daniels passed to Christian Wallace who passed to Marvin Mayes who passed to Christian Wallace. Christian Wallace passes to Tyler Thomas who'se tackled by Przemyslaw Zawistowski. It's a nice defensive play by Przemyslaw Zawistowski. Zielony i bialy attacked at the 27th minute when Przemyslaw Zawistowski passed to Sarah Schroffenegger who passed backward to Sascha Welzmüller. Sascha Welzmüller passed to Amelia Zalwowska who dribbles and makes a header pass to Katarzyna Grzywinska. Katarzyna Grzywinska heads the ball into the net, 1-0 Prusy Krolewskie! Prusy Krolewskie attacked again at the 34th minute when Florian von Haacke passed to Sarah Schroffenegger who passed to Amelia Zalwowska but she's tackled by Scott Ellington. Scott Ellington gets a yellow card and Prusy Krolewskie gets a free kick. Sascha Welzmüller kicks the ball over the net and it's a goal kick for Maretta. Peter Elliott kicks the ball into midfield, Marvin Mayes and Sascha Welzmüller both jumps to reach the ball but they crash into one other and they're both down on the field. Marvin Mayes wakes up first and stays into the game, he looks ok. Sascha Welzmüller finally wakes up and asks for a replacement. He's replaced with Bartlomiej Szczepankiewicz who played for Olimpia Szczebrzeszyn in the Pierwsza Liga. Maretta attacked at the 45+2 minute when Christian Wallace dribbles and passes to Tyler Thomas who makes a cross to Jaden Ross who shoots and scores. The game is tied 1-1 and it's the halftime.

Prusy Krolewskie attacked at the 49th minute when Bartlomiej Szczepankiewicz passed the ball to Pawel Wawrzynkiewicz who dribbles and makes a cross to Katarzyna Grzywinska. Katarzyna Grzywinska shoots but Peter Elliot deflects the ball out of bounds. It's a corner for Prusy Krolewskie. Sarah Schroffenegger kicks the ball in front of the net, Bartlomiej Szczepankiewicz kick the ball and he hits the post! Scott Ellington kicks away the lose ball. Maretta attacked at the 55th and 62nd minutes but each time they were stopped. Reprezentacja Pruski attacked at the 68th minute when Krzysztof Januszkiewicz passed to Bartosz Strzyzowski who passed to Pawel Wawrzynkiewicz who passed to Bartlomiej Szczepankiewicz. Bartlomiej Szczepankiewicz passed back to Pawel Wawrzynkiewicz who passed to Amelia Zalwowska who passed back to Pawel Wawrzynkiewicz. Pawel Wawrzynkiewicz dribbles and passes to Zbigniew Zajaczkowski who shoots and scores! 2-1 Prusy Krolewskie. Maretta attacked at the 74th minute when Marvin Mayes passed to Benjamin Clarke who dribbles and passes to Jaden Ross who shoots and scores! But he's offside so the goal is denied, it's still 2-1 Prusy Krolewskie. At the same time, Amelia Zalwowska subs out and Grzegorz Radziszewski subs in and the formation is changed to a 5-3-2 formation. Maretta kept attacking at the 81st and 88th minutes but each time they were stopped and the final score is 2-1 Prusy Krolewskie. Przemyslaw Zawistowski also got a yellow card at the 81st minute for an illegal tackle.

BOXSCORE

27th minute - KATARZYNA GRZYWINSKA assisted by Amelia Zalwowska
45+2 minute - JADEN ROSS assisted by Tyler Thomas
68th minute - ZBIGNIEW ZAJACZKOWSKI assisted by Pawel Wawrzynkiewicz

Cards

34th minute - Scott Ellington (MAR) - yellow
81st minute - Przemyslaw Zawistowski (PKR) -yellow

Next games & standings

Prusy Krolewskie is now 5th in group 5 with three games remaining, including two at home. Actually Reprezentacja Pruski is still alive but if Nova Anglicana wins one more game, we're eliminated. Or if Prusy Krolewskie lose one game, we're eliminated. The next game is against Baccalieu at Stadion Narodowy w Ozorkowie in Ozorkow, Wojewodztwo Pomorskie, it's a game that Prusy Krolewskie can win. Sascha Welzmüller is expected to be back for the game as his injury isn't too serious.

Lukasz Przyborowski signs with a Fleftic club

It's now official, Pruski international Lukasz Przyborowski signs a two-year deal with Marinos Thimpodopoulos, a team from Fhulghamous Peninsula playing in the Fleftic Premier League, making him the first Pruski player to play for a club outside the Smiler region. Przyborowski agreed on a 2 year deal worth NS$48,000 per week in wages. Lukasz Przyborowski is a member of the national team but he has yet to play.

[Brenecia]

When Orson Faulkner cracked his knuckles, the techies around him jumped.
"... and now it's time to put a Celebrity in our Reasonably-Priced Cabriolet. Our guest tonight is a true old-school footballer who's disappointed if one of his bone-crunching challenges actually gets the ball. If one of your friends is a Zozi fan, they'll never shut up about that goal he scored once. He's the only Brenecian you've ever heard of, it's Orson Faulkner!"
The big Brenecian stepped forward into the spotlight. As a footballer playing in Audioslavia for years, he knew Jeremy Jaffacake by reputation... or had he? It seemed like he'd been gentrified, and then subsequently... ruffled. A modern-day gentleman-oaf.
Also the small matter of looking about two hundred years younger than he was.
He offered a gnarled, remarkably powerful hand, which Faulkner took.
"So, let's get down to brass tacks," said Jaffacake as they both sat down heavily on remarkably dull, grey seats.
"That goal for Zozi?"
"Actually, I've been curious to ask you about what it's like to shag a sheep..."
Faulkner sighed as the audience guffawed. "Here we go," he muttered. At least he hadn't gone the incest angle, which was also popular.
"I've heard that's a... cultural pastime, back in Brenecia?"
"You hear a lot of things about Brenecia."
Faulkner went on to hear a lot of things about Brenecia over the longest four minutes of his life, and not especially many about his career. It was banter, of course, and he could deal with banter, but there seemed like a lot of banter in what was meant, theoretically, to have been an interview. Finally, thankfully, the subject turned back to relevant things.
"Now, the World Cup... all joking aside, that really must have been the pinnacle of your career. To play in a World Cup match, the hopes of a nation resting on your shoulders..."
Faulkner nodded. "Best experience of my life."
"What's it like to have repeatedly let them down, then?"
The big defender snorted. "Well, alright, obviously the results haven't been ideal. But really, I mean, Brenecia's only a small country, and we've come leaps and bounds in a few years."
"It must be strange, though, being managed by a girl."
Was there applause in the audience? Surely...
Faulkner stared. "Granger's like forty-five."
"But women as footballers, that's a very... firmly ingrained thing in Brenecia, isn't it?"
"It's honestly weird to just see almost entirely men here." Faulkner grinned. "Then again, you Audioslavs've got Styrn, so I guess that kind of evens things out."
"Are you out to beat her on the track?"
"Well, I can't beat her on the fuckin' pitch, can I?"
Amidst the audience laughter, he heard a techie mumbling a curse of his own and going running for the beep button.
"Right, so let's get down to your lap... have you ever driven a cabriolet?"
"First car I ever drove was my dad's ute."
"A utility truck? Why?"
Faulkner nodded thoughtfully as the audience laughed. It was a valid question. "All we had, really. We lived on the outskirts of town. First car I ever owned myself was a proper footballer's car, though. An Ajax Titan. Big, impractical thing that couldn't turn properly or fit into parking spaces. All Nepharim cars are like that, really."
"Do you still have it now?"
"Oh, God yes. It's fast in a straight line."
The audience appreciated that.
"That Networker's a decent car, though. Turns nicely," Faulkner added, damning by faint praise.
"Well, shall we see how you did in it?"
A resounding "YES!" from the audience.
"Here we go!"
The screen was turned on, and immediately the Networker span to life. In a straight line.
"Good start... oh, you haven't at all turned well there, too much speed..."
The camera cut to Faulkner's helmeted face in the car. The bleep filter was used a lot.
"Still, fast again, and... you know, you are allowed to slow down when turning into corners, right?"
Audience chuckled.
Another couple of crap turns later and the camera cut back to Past Faulkner. More bleeping.
"What were you saying in there?"
"Honest to God, cannot remember a word."
"Skimming across Gambon- oh, you got a bit of the grass there!" The car bounced. "And across the line!"
Audience applause. Faulkner sank back in his chair. Not too bad, it seemed. Then again, not exactly setting the world alight."
"Well, how do you think you did?"
"Uh... not as well as I'd hoped, probably."
More audience chuckling.
"And you're still out to beat Styrn?"
"I reckon I'm in with a shot. God, just to have something."
"She's got a drill, you know."
"I'll take my chances."
"Well, I'll tell you your time now. It is... one..."
"Yes?"
"... fifty..."
"Fuck." More scuffling from the techies.
"... two point three! Good enough for third!"
Applause. Faulkner leaned back in the chair, sighing as Jaffacake barely had to reach to get the time up on the board.
"And, you know, you could've gone even faster if you'd known that it was possible to take your foot off the accelerator sometimes... but at least you're the second-fastest footballer on our board! Thanks for coming, it's been a pleasure... ladies and gentlemen, Orson Faulkner!"
As they shook hands and Faulkner left the stage to a round of applause, he wondered idly if it might've been better that he failed to beat Styrn. After all... what was all that about a drill?

NS Celebrity in a Reasonably-Priced Cabriolet Leaderboard
1: 1:41.0 - Alexander Lund (AUD), WGPC World Driver's Champion
2: 1:49.5 - Ronda Judit Styrn (AUD) - Audioslavian footballer
3: 1:52.3 - Orson Faulkner (BRE) - Brenecian footballer
4: 1:55.5 - Stelling Whitely (KRY) - TV Gameshow host
5: 1:55.8 - Buster Jieber (AUD) - Pop singer

[Nova Anglicana]

Londinium 7s Tournament to Return?

Harland Howerton, Londinium Courier

I know that the nation and the multiverse are all football-mad at the moment, but I would like you, Dear Reader, to take a moment to consider another code of football: rugby football. We're currently waiting for the next rugby union World Cup and sort of twiddling our thumbs at the moment. There was a rugby league World Cup recently, hosted by the Royal Kingdom of Quebec and won by Hutanjia, but enthusiasm for rugby league is so low among Nova Anglicans that the Ministry of Sport didn't even bother exploring the possibility of sending a team. Yes, it's a bit of a down time for rugby enthusiasts like myself. But fear not! The international Rugby Board of the multiverse has announced its plans for a revived rugby sevens tour, which will include two or three events. This is not on as large a scale as the IRB Rugby Sevens Series, but with sevens being included in the last Summer Olympiad, the interest for the game is rising.

And here's the good part. According to my sources, the Rugby Board is looking at Londinium as one of the potential sites for a sevens tour event. Some of you may recall the Londinium 7s tournament held a couple of years ago, where the Lions' disappointing 4th-place finish was overshadowed by crime brought in by the players from the Free Swiss States. It was quite an exciting tournament, nonetheless, but the NARU has not yet organized a second edition due to logistical issues and a perceived lack of interest across the multiverse. But with the seal of the multiversal Rugby Board on it, the second Londinium 7s tournament would be an exciting event, sure to draw nations from across the multiverse to Londinium. My sources also indicate that we would be given the honor of kicking off the sevens tour.

In previous years, the Lions sevens teams have included a mixture of fifteens players and purely sevens players, including scrummy and team captain Julian Lee, but I sat down with Nova Anglican 7s coach Denís Ferrer to talk about the player pool for this potential tournament.

Harland Howerton: So, Coach Ferrer, you've heard about the potential for Londinium to kick off this NSRB sevens tour?

Denís Ferrer: Yes, I have, and we are looking forward to participating, wherever the tournaments are held.

HH: But you agree that it would be special for the tour to start in Londinium?

DF: Of course. We had fun playing in the first edition of the Londinium 7s. I just hope we can play better this time around (laughs).

HH: So, in the past you've drawn from both fifteens and sevens players to make your sevens roster. Can you speculate about the composition of your roster for the sevens tour and talk a little bit about what you and your staff consider in the selection process?

DF: Well, Harland, I think the second question is easier to answer. Sevens is different from fifteens; it requires players to cover more ground and be in continuous motion. So what we look for most in players is stamina and speed. They have to be able to keep pace in the match. We also look for strong tackling skills, because you cannot always rely on a teammate to pick you up in sevens like you could in fifteens. As for the second question, I have talked with Errol Anderson and we have come to the agreement that it would be best if sevens developed its own player pool, distinct from fifteens. It puts less wear and tear on our athletes and gives our fans a chance to see new players develop right in front of their eyes. I think we will probably have one or two players from the fifteens side who are truly standout talents, but for the most part, the team will be fresh faces...

The rest of the interview can be found at http://www.lcourier.nov/denis-ferrer. I look forward to seeing what Ferrer's boys do out on the pitch.

The Londinium 7s tourney will be opening signups soon, so keep an eye out!

[Krytenia]

Just Add Barley And Sugar
By Rubio Sanchéz in Zorg

HOPS and water. As ingredients to beer, they mesh well. As ingredients for good football? Not so much. Krytenia's eleventh qualifier was reduced to a nigh-on lottery by heavy rain yesterday, with a slippery and muddy pitch putting the kibosh on both sides' preferred passing game. Chances were few and far between, and the fact that the game produced four goals was more down to the surface bogging down defenders and goalkeepers rather than any particular skills. A draw was, perhaps, the fairest result given the travails of both sides, with the players trudging off at the end in their red, yellow, and brown and white, orange, and brown kits respectively. Not that HopNation will see it that way, as this result eliminates the home side.

To be honest, it's not worth wasting the column inches on this travesty of a game, so let's look at another result: Farfadillis six, Starblaydia one.

We do love a good old fashioned pasting for the Men In Mauve over on this side of the Beck, and this one is all the sweeter as it eliminates our rivals with three games to spare. Smell that hubris, people, it is a wonderful aroma.

Khumbalgarh await in the Aces' next game. The New City Stadium in Avidia will be the venue, and you know that the fans will be more than up for this one as Krytenia attempt to maintain their one hundred percent record. Ironically, we'll also be cheering on HopNation as they face Valladares. Onward!

HOPNATION - 2
Schytaing 51, 65

KRYTENIA - 2
van Rijn 40
Larsson 77