World Cup 70 - RP Thread

works? · by **Abanhfleft** » Sun Dec 07, 2014 3:38 am

Part One
Part Two
Part Three

Payday, Part Four

First National Bank of Abanhfleft
Riuwiee, Abanhfleft

Gangster, aka Cornelius, took out a long tube from his backpack, which also contained four smaller tubes with thick tops, and at least fifteen thousand new penenks' worth in cash. He took one of the smaller tubes, inserted it into the bigger tube, and laid the big tube on his shoulder. "Open the door," he said. Once the doors of the bank had been opened up, Cornelius aimed the tube at one of the many police cars parked in front of the bank, shouted, "Say hello to my little friend!" and pulled the trigger. The rocket-propelled grenade burst out of its launcher and flew a true and sure path towards the police car. The car went up into the air, flames consuming its rear, as the policemen surrounding the bank scattered. The four thieves then opened fire on the police.

"Cover me!" Cornelius shouted. "I'm loading another rocket!" He loaded another grenade into the tube launcher and prepared to fire, but this time he didn't aim. Instead, he fired blind, pointing the launcher at the general direction of the enemy and pulling the trigger and hoping for the best. The explosion he heard told him that he hit something, but what exactly he hit he didn't know.

"You got another black-and-white, Cory," White Pantsuit, aka Alexandra, told him. "Well, that's good to know!" Cory replied. "Another!" He repeated the process, all while his accomplices were busy pouring lead into anything and everything unlucky enough to be in front of them right now. Cory fired a third rocket, this one hitting another police car right in the gas tank. As Cory prepared to load his fourth and final rocket, Miniskirt aka Destiny shouted, "Reloading!" She removed her Uzi's empty C-Mag, stuffed it into her backpack, and took a fresh thirty-round magazine from her tactical vest and inserted it into her weapon. That was how they talked about it: since the sale of C-Mags and drum magazines in Abanhfleft were heavily regulated, and all purchases of these high-capacity magazines had to be registered, dropping the mags during reloads would very easily identify them as the robbers, and so they had all agreed to keep the C-Mags and drums once they ran out.

Through the return gunfire from the police, Destiny looked up and said, "You guys hear that?"

"Whatcha talkin' 'bout?" Cory asked her. Then he heard it himself. "Here comes the cavalry." Above them, a black Bell helicopter bearing the markings of the Riuwiee Police Department of the Fleftic National Police was quickly descending on the bank from the sky. Cory happened to look up at the stained-glass dome covering the main area of the bank. It would be child's play for the Fleftic SWAT to break through the glass and take them all down from the inside. "Can't have that," he muttered.

"Can't have what?" Alexandra asked him.

"We can't have the SWAT breaking in on us from above, Lexie" Cory replied, pointing up at the stained-glass ceiling. "They get through there, we're toast."

"Oh, great," Lexie said. "Hey, Cory, that's your last rocket, make it count!"

"Don't worry, I will. Cover me!" Cory stepped out of the protection of the bank's walls, lifted the launcher on his shoulder up to the sky, aimed for the SWAT chopper, and fired. The rocket's motor sputtered, sending the rocket spiraling into the air, and instead of hitting the helicopter right in the engines, the rocket struck it by the tail rotor. Without the countering force of the tail rotor, the body of the helicopter began rotating madly under the main rotor, and the chopper slowly fell out of sight.

"Nice shooting, Tex," Destiny called out.

"Yeah, yeah," Cory said as he took the Thompson from his back. "Now let's get out of here!" He fired the Tommy gun one-handed, once again sending the policemen fleeing for cover.

"Right behind you!" Black Pantsuit, aka Allison, shouted back as she emptied her M4's C-Mag on the cops. This amount of covering fire allowed the four of them to get out of the bank without much complaint from the cops, who could only hide behind their cars while being peppered by bullets. The four of them ran towards an alley leading to the back of the bank, where they had parked Alexandra's minivan. Never mind the fact that they took the plates of the car beside them and swapped them around.

The four of them threw the bags full of cash into the back of the van as quickly as they could, and then they all piled into the minivan. "Shotgun," Cory muttered as he got in. "Lexie, since this is your car, you're designated driver."

"Whatever," Lexie muttered. However, just as Destiny and Allison finally got into the van, Allison shouted, "The crocodiles are coming!" Crocodile was a Fleftic slang term for a policeman, because of the FNP's moss-green uniforms, and their reputation for being insatiable corrupt bastards always looking for an opportunity to make a quick penenk from the people.

"Shit!" Cory shouted. "Run 'em over, Lexie!"

"The fucking van won't start!" Alexandra said as she tried, unsuccessfully, to start the car. "Fuck this shit," Cory muttered, and he lowered the window on his side and fired his Tommy gun, striking two policemen in the process. "A little help here!" he shouted. Destiny lowered her own window and began blasting away at the cops with her Uzi. Finally, Alexandra managed to start her minivan, and she immediately put her foot on the accelerator. "Go, go!" Cory shouted.

FNP officers fired their pistols into the windshield of Alexandra's minivan, and while Alexandra and Cornelius did duck to avoid the bullets, Alexandra continued accelerating her van, and eventually she hit two more officers as they ran down the alley. A third officer jumped onto the van's hood just before it hit him, and he struggled to keep his hold on the vehicle.

"Get him off!" Alexandra shouted. "I can't see shit!"

"Roadblock up ahead!" Cornelius shouted. "Shit!" Alexandra shouted as she slammed her foot down hard on the brake. The hapless police officer hanging on to the hood flew away from the car and landed hard on the side of the police car that Alexandra had almost hit.

"More crocs behind us!" Destiny shouted, looking at the back of the van. Indeed, more moss-green-clad men and women were coming up at them from behind, along with quite a few people wearing all-black and carrying assault rifles and wearing heavy-duty body armor. "And SWAT's here, too!"

"Then take care of them!" Cornelius shouted at her. Destiny and Allison both sighed, and then they leaned out of their windows and began firing their weapons at the mob of moss-green. Alexandra reversed her van, turned the wheel, and then drove her way out of the alley and onto the street. "More roadblocks!" Cornelius shouted.

"Don't you think I can't see that!" Alexandra shouted back at him.

"All right, give me your AK," Cornelius told her. Alexandra obliged him, handing over her weapon to him. "It's probably gonna work better than my Tommy gun. You just get ready with the mags, and focus on the driving."

"Got that." Alexandra shifted to second gear to get the minivan going faster. "You just get ready to shoot." Cornelius poked the Kalashnikov's barrel out of the window and fired. Chips of plaster and mortar flew off of the walls of the nearby buildings. "Shit," Cornelius muttered. "Got my aim all wonky today." He leaned his torso out of the window, took aim with the AK, and pulled the trigger. Bullets from the rifle punched out holes in the bodies of the police cars blocking their path, as the policemen dove out of the way. The minivan smashed through the gap between the two police cars making up the roadblock, smashing out the headlights on all three cars.

"Another roadblock!" Cornelius said. "Lexie, mag!" Alexandra took out a magazine from her tactical vest with one hand, the other sticking to the steering wheel. She handed it over to Cornelius, who used it to remove the now-empty magazine on the AK, and he fed the weapon the new, full magazine. However, just as he got out of the window to fire the Kalashnikov again, Destiny cried out in pain. "Fuck!" she screamed. "My hand's hit! Goddamn those crocs!"

"Car!" Alexandra shouted, just as the minivan hit the single police car making up the second roadblock that they encountered. The minivan continued moving forward with the police car, a Ford Police Interceptor, still stuck to its front, before the black-and-white finally hit a streetlight with its rear, and detached itself from the now-crushed front end of the minivan.

"Dear God, is there no end to all these roadblocks!?" Alexandra moaned.

"Don't mind them, just drive!" Cornelius told her. And then everything became a bright blur.

by **Buyan** » Sun Dec 07, 2014 3:48 am

Line-up for MD16 Buyan – Thatius

Ulle Seber
Ignas Smetona * Rafal Giertych * Sigurd Tufte * Kazimieras Zemaitis
Bartosz Wladecki
Marco Castell * Dmitri Plovnarov
Sverre Devold
Andrey Rettinger * Elmo Havelund

The silence was deafening.

"Ninety minutes against Masseau. Masseau! Fourteen attempts and not a single goal..."

Shale didn't even try to hide his anger.

"If we all want to be the star, all want to be the scoring player in attack, don't want the team to score but just see our own name appear in tomorrow's newspaper... Than there is only one thing I can do."

The dressing room bows its head.

...

In the press room, things are pretty cosy. There's a first autumn cold in the air, but the reporters can count on warm soup and fresh sandwiches to still the appetite. There's even a merry atmosphere, a tad outgoing. All right, there had been a silly loss of points last match, but it provided primo writing material and with Turori failing to make use of that mistake, not too much was lost. Only Greater Watford started to become a source of unease as the Hornets made the most of their underdog status. But then some press agent walked in and handed everyone a small paper with the starting eleven.

"Did he..." someone whispered.
"I think Shale replaced all six offensive players," another gasped, "the six who did so well against Turori!"
"Even Dalmshelf is benched," a third commented on the hero from match day 15, as his volley sent Turori home with a loss.

Bloody hell, Gredholm thought, I'm really starting to like that Shale-guy.

by **Jeruselem** » Sun Dec 07, 2014 4:00 am

Jeruselem coach Jayden Bella reading a baby name book and Princess Katy at Dazza Dallas Stadium

Katy: So, decide on any names?
Jayden: No, not yet
Katy: Found out how many kids you having
Jayden: Ultrasound seems indicate only one
Katy: Good news, twins are a bit hellish to raise
Jayden: Oh yes, you have two boys

Katy: I wanted girls, like my sister you know
Jayden: I got no preference as long as it's a healthy kid with no genetic problems
Katy: You seem to get pretty bad morning sickness
Jayden: Err, yes. Not conducive to early morning training.
Katy: That's funny, we don't get much of that.
Jayden: I guess some people are lucky.

Katy: So, what does Mum say about this?
Jayden: She said it was long overdue
Katy: She wants her grandkids huh?
Jayden: I guess I did take a while
Katy: I'm trying to get a girl
Jayden: Wow, you still trying for kids.

Katy: Well, you get too old ... it's far too late
Jayden: I guess you're used to having kids around
Katy: Keeps one grounded, makes you remember you're not immortal
Jayden: You lot seem to live for a while
Katy: Of course, someone has to help take care of the grandkids
Jayden: My family isn't near as big as yours

Laura: Hey, what's going on
Katy: I didn't make this one. This one belongs to my someone else.
Jayden: We're talking kids
Laura: So, got any names for the little one yet?
Jayden: No
Katy: Just don't use something like Starblaydia or something.

Laura: That's an awful name for a baby.
Jayden: I got no intention of calling my kids that.
Katy: So what's the name you got in mind
Jayden: Maybe Jacqui if it's a girl.
Laura: That's OK. Bogans will spell it Jackie.
Jayden: Bogans call me Jaydee. I don't like that.

Laura: Don't they call you Bella?
Jayden: Nope
Katy: Some people don't think Laura here is actually Amy's daughter.
Jayden: Yeah, she's not a redhead like Mum.
Laura: I've got Dad's hair. Not bad being blonde, they think ya dumb so they underestimate you.
Jayden: I have red hair but I'm no redheaded dragon.

Katy: All the redheads I know have tempers, including myself.
Jayden: I think that's just the cranky gene in your family
Laura: Yes, that one is everywhere hey
Katy: You don't seem to have it
Laura: Maybe that's good, eh?
Jayden: That's good. One less cranky person in the team next cup.

by **Electrum** » Sun Dec 07, 2014 5:06 am

Centralis Herald - Sports Section - Mitch Blain

Can Electrum secure that final spot?

It has been two World Cup Cycles (68) since Electrum debuted. It has grown from a small minnow team to a team that is now in with a shot for a playoff spot. It's been a monumental week for Electrum Football as we shot from a low of sixth in Matchday 6 to second place by Matchday 14. What a difference a week's worth of matchdays can make. With a game in hand, Electrum has a very real and very exciting chance of making it to the playoffs.

But things are a bit more complicated. With Audioslavia well ahead, ten points above Electrum, making it impossible to even reach first place with three days left to go, there are still a potential of six different runners up, from Electrum on 25 to Pine Island on 19 points. It's going to be a tight finish for the team, starting with an away match tomorrow against Garifunya, which Electrum whooped 8-1 last time, then a home match against Pine Island where Electrum disappointingly lost 3-2 last time, and then, for what will probably be the decider, an away match against Ceni.

Group 9                         Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts
2 Electrum                         13    8   1   4    38   27  +11    25
3 Ceni                             14    8   1   5    34   27   +7    25
4 Darmen                           13    7   3   3    35   22  +13    24
5 Neu Engollon                     14    7   2   5    33   29   +4    23
6 Garifunya                        13    6   1   6    22   30   −8    19
7 Pine Island                      13    6   1   6    28   37   −9    19

Every match from now on is now a must win. There is no more margin of error. The slightest mistake -- heck, every penalty, every yellow card will be extremely costly. The question is, can Milo, our coach, pull the team back from it's focus towards offence to focus on losing the least amount of goals as possible. Electrum has a strong lead over likely contenders Ceni and Darmen for Goals For, but in the end of the day, the Goal Difference is what takes precedence. Electrum needs to pick up more goals off Garifunya to stay afloat in this competition.

Garifunya vs Electrum
Surprisingly, Garifunya actually defeated Neu Engollon just yesterday. Whatever pep talk Coach John Ayensu has given them have clearly worked, as they managed to find a weakness in Neu Engollon's defense - it was either them being offguard or Garifunya's sheer luck which handed them those three points. This is the next assignment for Electrum, and after Electrum thrashed them at home 8-1, Garifunya will be looking for revenge. They will be spurred on by their defeat over Neu Engollon, but Milo and his team should just pull through and get those points.

Electrum vs Pine Island
It's now time for revenge. After a red card saw the Electrumite team reduced to ten, a relatively speaking close match became unsalvageable after they scored a last minute goal to defeat Electrum 2-1 away. Maybe it was their home support that pulled them through, but these debutants better watch out. They unrightfully occupied the top section of the table for far too long, and it's time to consign them back to the bottom half of the table where they belong. No apologies there. They are a fast paced, aggressive team with a good midfield to boot. Should be interesting, as two similar strategy teams go head to head once again.

Ceni vs Electrum
This is the literal do-or-die. Ceni is creeping right behind us in the ladder, and if their match against Neu Engollon goes their way, which we hope that it doesn't, then this one will probably the one deciding the chances of who advances to the playoffs. It's going to be a very even performance, with both teams punching well above their weight this time round. Although beset by unconfidence by their local press, who labelled them a resounding chance to not advance, they seemed to have done the impossible, like Electrum and have jumped from fifth to third. This team also runs a highly attacking setup, meaning that it will be easy to score goals against them, although Electrum's 2-1 win last week still leaves a lot to be desired. Maybe Electrum can afford to lose this one, but by only one goal -- with the home factor behind them, it's going to be very tough. Let's pray for the heavens, and Margaret for a success here.

Sunday, December 7, 2014: Match Day 16 - Pine Island vs Neu Engollon, Garifunya vs Electrum, Audioslavia vs Darmen Bye: Ceni
Monday, December 8, 2014: Match Day 17 - Darmen vs Garifunya, Electrum vs Pine Island, Neu Engollon vs Ceni 
Tuesday, December 9, 2014: Match Day 18 - Ceni vs Electrum, Pine Island vs Darmen, Garifunya vs Rejistania  Bye: Neu Engollon

Whatever the outcome however, we must be thankful for the huge development the team has gone through since it's inception. Ever since its amateur days, Electrum has been languishing at the bottom of the table, but thanks to continued support from Milo Wilkinson, Pete Walker and Jane Ellis from the very beginning, things are now looking up for Electrum Football. We must also thank the new support we have received as well, including new recruits Dr. Watts, Risa Shigaraki, Abi Garner, Walter Mulhall and Val Strontine who have kept an eye on the young players. This will serve us well in the future, where we can finally expect a spot in the playoffs.

The median age of the First XI is just 24. Extremely young, yet extremely talented. What's in store for us will be spectacular to say the very least. And even if we don't make the playoff spot, there is always the Cup of Harmony we can look forward too, as we can expect an invitation for good sportsmanship. If we do end up in the Cup of Harmony, that will just strengthen our resolve so we can banish our hoodoo on that tournament, where we have had 5 losses and a draw.

Mitch Blain is the Manager of Electrum Football as well as the National Electrum Football Team ever since its foundation until now. He is currently overseeing the development of a domestic competition at the end of the World Cup to continue gather interest of football in Electrum.

by **Semarland** » Sun Dec 07, 2014 6:05 am

semarluundik indapadten

Is qualification likely?

The answer is, probably not. Yes, the Semars are sitting sixth in the table, just above Seltik, North Britonisea and the Democratic States of Fenbar, who are all eliminated. The Sarian have already qualified, meaning the only hope of qualification to the finals is the play off spot. The play off spot hotly contested by Red Blackiland, who lead the way, Paradystopia, Lymantatia and Sameba. With only two games remaining, Semarland need to win both games and hope and pray for other results. That's the disadvantage of having your bye late on in the campaign. Semarland will face Sameba, then have their bye, then cap off qualification against Red Blackiland. In the last two games against these, it was a 1-1 draw and a 3-3 draw respectively. Both teams are doing well, as Red Blackiland are the (now) favourites to clinch that vital play-off spot. Paradystopia & Lymantatia have an equal chance of reaching it, while Sameba is just one point ahead of Semarland. In the last match that the Semars play, they enjoyed a good 1-0 victory over Lymantatia. Drawing or losing would have certainly knocked them out of the qualification race. A 65th minute strike from Marc Lygaard was all it took to seal three points for Henrik Jensen's men, but they are still cemented in sixth place.

On to the game against Lymantatia. The only change made to the Starting XI was Steffan Poulsen coming in for Yacouba Sakho. Poulsen looked calm, composed, assured, and made some excellent passes out wide to wingers Mads Olsen and Andreas Jansen. 39 year old vice-captain Jansen proved he still had some pace in him with an absolutely blistering run downfield. A soaring cross was met by a Demba Cisse header, but this went over the Lymantatian bar. Jakob Larsen also struck the post, only just seconds later, while at the other end, there were little chances for Lymantatia. Lunds and Karbruck were doing a solid job protecting the goal, and Poulsen occasionally tracked back to mop up anything. Eiriksson and surprisingly, Malsen, looked more attacking than usual. Then again, Eiriksson primarily plays as a wing-back. Eiriksson's outstanding cross was met by Marc Lygaard, who could turn it into the net, but it was ruled out for offside, despite the complaints of the Semar team. It was something Henrik Jensen & Thomas Leonardsen weren't too particularly pleased about, as they both strongly felt it was onside, as shown when Leonardsen was remonstrating with the linesman.

In the second half, Semarland upped the pressure even more, by bringing on Tipio Runen for Steffan Poulsen. Runen switched out onto the right wing, swapping places with Jansen. Runen's darting runs proved too much for the Lymantatian defence, and he was hacked down viciously by a centre-back, thus resulting in a free kick to Semarland. Jansen looped it in, but it was headed away by the same centre-back. The ball then landed at the feet of Marc Lygaard, who, took a touch to compose himself, before lashing home an absolute beauty into the back of the net. This caused the Semarland fans to erupt into wild fits of joy, as if they could hold onto the lead, it would increase a, well, slim, chance of reaching the play off spot. They continued to pressure the Lymantatian defence, with shots flying in from everywhere. Lygaard, Cisse, Olsen, Larsen, Jansen, Runen and Karbruck all went close in the space of 15 minutes. Karbruck's second header hit the bar, then a third from him, a looping effort, only just went over the bar. There was also madness in the Semar penalty area too, with some last ditch defending from Eirik Malsen preventing the Lymantatians from equalising and Andreas Jansen cutting out several attempted passes made by the Lymantatian attacking midfielder. Semarland were able to hold out for the rest of the game, securing three well deserved, well earned points.

As well as slightly increasing that slim chance of a playoff spot, it also makes Jensen & Leonardsen's job status as Manager and Assistant a little bit safer. They've been openly told by the SFA, that should they not achieve at least a reasonable finishing position, that they would be sacked accordingly. Rumoured candidates for the job included Andreas Jansen, who retires from international football along with a few others, at the end of the next AOCAF. One coaching change almost certain is 2nd choice goalkeeper, Martin Datheim, who also retires, replaces Ulrik Lächt as goalkeeping coach. 50 year old Lächt's contract expires after the next AOCAF, as does the contract of many other coaching staff. Datheim as openly stated he would love to work as goalkeeping coach, and the SFA seem to favour him. However, the decision will be made by the SFA and the manager, be it Jensen or be it somebody else.

Back on to the topic of qualification, the Semars must work increasingly hard and pray for the right results in other games to get a chance of getting to the playoff spot. A hopeful win against Sameba, and a win against Red Blackiland too may well propel the Semars to 2nd place. However, unfortunately it seems unlikely. Third or fourth place should do for manager Jensen and the SFA, and possibly fifth, but definitely not sixth place or below. Let's hope that those wins will be clinched, and the right results happen in the right games.

As stated before, the next game is a home match versus Sameba.

SEMARLAND: Jorgen Karlstad (Martin Datheim 75); Matur Eiriksson (Rasmus Norregard HT), Jakob Lunds, Matthias Karburck, Eirik Malsen; Mads Olsen, Demba Cisse, Steffan Poulsen (Tipio Runen HT) , Andreas Jansen; Marc Lygaard, Jakob Larsen (Yannick Simeone 82)

by **Free Republics** » Sun Dec 07, 2014 7:57 am

Nejan Stadium, Oldston, Nejax

The critical match between the Holy Republican Empire and HopNation was about to commence. It was, literally, a must-win match for the visitors. Coming into the match, the visitors were sitting on 31 points with 2 matches to go while the home side had 30 points and 3 matches remaining. The remaining schedule also favored Rule Theriault's side. The Republicans had a match at Tumbra and a home match against Octinstine remaining on their schedule. HopNation's sole remaining match, after this one, would be at home against United Eastedge.

Both sides knew that a victory by the heavily-favored home side here, in front of a capacity crowd of 122,406 fanatical Nejans, would all but ensure at least a playoff appearance by the Holy Republican Empire. HopNation would face a final match where they would, literally, have to win to have any chance of advancement. On the other hand, the Holy Republicans would need either 2 draws or a win in their final 2 matches to lock up a playoff berth, even with a HopNation victory.

On the other hand, even a draw was practically a death sentence for HopNation's hopes. A draw would put the visitors at 32 points with just a single match to go. If HopNation were to draw United Eastedge as well, they would be stuck on 33 points. A single Republican victory against either Tumbra or Octinstine would secure second place in Group 4. However, the Holy Republicans would still hold control of their own destiny, under this scenario, even if HopNation were to beat United Eastedge. 2 Republican victories against the lightly-regarded Tumbra and Octinstine would send Theriault's side to the playoffs.

So, HopNation effectively had to win and, yet, a HopNation win would merely set up another must-win match for HopNation. A HopNation win here and a draw against Eastedge would leave them on 35 points, allowing Theriault's side to sneak into the playoffs by beating Tumbra and Octinstine. However you looked at it, the odds appeared clear, that Rule Theriault's side would be making the playoffs. However, this was the same Republican National Team that had been under-achieving throughout Qualifying, the same team that had managed to draw Bandwagon and Darvale.

But, then again, it wasn't really the same Republican National Team that had stumbled out of the gate in this year's World Cup Qualifying. That team was especially weak defensively, conceding 10 goals in their first 4 matches of Qualifying. The Holy Republican National Team was now coming off of 3 consecutive clean sheets and had conceded just 2 goals in their past 5 matches. The defensive adjustments Theriault had made were resulting in a stronger Republican defense and a team that, despite their embarrassing failure to finish against Darvale, looked more like the #10 team in the multiverse than that self-destructing team from the early part of Qualifying. With HopNation having a goal differential of 0 in their last 4 matches, Theriault hoped that he had caught the Hops at the right time for this critical World Cup Qualifying match...

by **Gregoryisgodistan** » Sun Dec 07, 2014 9:28 am

Plumbing Does Not Break, Plumbing Instructor S9DF9SDJ Executed

Despite Plumbing Instructor S9DF9SDJ's warnings, the plumbing of Gregoryisgodistan did not break, nor even suffer any serious problems, last night during halftime of the soccer game against Valladares. There are many reasons why his prediction did not come true, including the fact that most Gregoryisgodistanis did not need to use the bathroom, seeing as anyone who had to go 45 minutes earlier could have gone then, before kickoff. Additionally, not everyone who had to go finished their business at the exact same time, meaning the flushes were not simultaneous. This is in part due to the difference in times for going and part due to the difference in times needed to walk to the bathroom. Additionally, many people were so disgusted by the way the first half was going that they defecated in front of the TV and flung their poop at it, an action which is completely legal since they were still watching the game. As a result, the were not executed.

However, the same cannot be said about Plumbing Instructor S9DF9SDJ, who was found guilty of inciting a panic and executed along with his family. Plumbing Instructor S9DF9SDJ was executed last night along with his wife, Doctor L0000ASPDPA, and their two children, their five-year old son Youth JSUDJCN49A9988A and their one-year old daughter Youth 2838AOSAOFDNNSDF. His 75-year old mother Retiree CXXXASALLALAL was also executed. His father was already dead, so he was obviously not killed again. Plumbing Instructor S9DF9SDJ's body was slowly sliced, then beheaded while still alive. Then the head was made into a bomb and thrown into the family home with the family chained inside, blowing it up and killing them. The bodies will be burned at midfield as part of the halftime entertainment during the World Cup Qualifier against Mendoya tomorrow. It will also air live on TV during the broadcast of the game.

Lord Almighty Gregory gave a speech about the issue, saying "Plumbing Instructor S9DF9SDJ incited a panic for no good reason. He knew there would be no problem with the plumbing system for all the reasons that there wasn't. He just wanted to scare people and convince them not to use the bathroom at halftime. Perhaps he was encouraging them to break the law and go during the game. I don't know. It doesn't matter. Regardless, he was inciting a false panic, which is a capital crime here in Gregoryisgodistan. Therefore, he needed to be executed. We executed him and his family in the usual manner, and the post-execution burning will be televised on national TV during halftime of the game against Mendoya tomorrow afternoon. It should be fun to watch as Plumbing Instructor S9DF9SDJ and his family will finally finish paying for their sins. Plumbing Instructor S9DF9SDJ will be living forever in the Land of Eternal Punishment. His family will be sent there too, for they will pay for Plumbing Instructor S9DF9SDJ's sins. We punish the family too, for that is the way of me, the One True Lord. We must punish the families of all offenders, for that is what I have willed. I am the Lord Your God, who created the Multiverse. My will is the will of God. I willed to execute Plumbing Instructor S9DF9SDJ and his family and punish them for all eternity, and that is what has happened. They are dead and they are in the Land of Eternal Punishment. This should be a warning to anyone else who plans on inciting a false panic. Do not do it or you and your family will be executed. Execution is not fun. Execution means you are dead. Do not let that happen to you. Do not incite a false panic as Plumbing Instructor S9DF9SDJ did or you and your family will pay the ultimate price, just as he did. You have been warned!"

Of course, the Foot Slaves lost that game, 2-1, after trailing 2-0 at halftime. Soccer Captain Laredo Potato finally got a goal for Gregoryisgodistan in the 86th minute, but it was too little too late. Gregoryisgodistan is now almost eliminated from World Cup Qualifying contention. They can advance to the playoff, but they will need a lot of help. More likely, they will be heading to the Cup of Harmony, which they will look to finally win, after reaching the semifinal two cycles ago and the final last cycle, but never hoisting the trophy. It will certainly be a fun ride, wherever they head, but they're disappointed to have struggled in qualifying like this.

by **United States of Devonta** » Sun Dec 07, 2014 9:49 am

Eliminated!
^{The journey stops here for the Devontans}

United States of Devonta 4-0 Sarrbia

United States of Devonta (4-4-2 Diamond): Cooper, Brooks, Benton, Kindred, Liam, Russell, Abdullah, Edwards, Owens, Johansen, Adams

Quick Stats:
65% Possessions, 13 Shots, 10 on goal
35% Possessions, 7 Shots, 3 on goal

Scores:
Johansen (3', 45+2') Abdullah (76') Liam (89')
----NONE----

CAUTIONED: ----NONE----
EJECTED: --NONE--

Table:

  Group 19                                Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 The Holy Empire                          13   12   0   1    40   20  +20    36
2 The Royal Barangay                       13    9   1   3    33   18  +15    28
3 Boring Paradise                          14    8   2   4    36   32   +4    26
4 Jecatria                                 13    7   3   3    29   23   +6    24
5 New North Aqmuland                       13    5   3   5    32   30   +2    18
6 United States of Devonta                 13    4   1   8    15   21   −6    13
7 Dainer                                   14    3   4   7    18   26   −8    13
8 Sarrbia                                  14    2   3   9    12   27  −15     9
9 Schutzenphalia & West Ruhntuhnkuhnland   13    0   3  10    13   31  −18     3

by **Red Blackiland** » Sun Dec 07, 2014 10:17 am

Ultras Chronicles Blog

Summary - Article 17
- Other decisive game : against Lymantatia at Blackberry!
- Taking things lying down..
- Modern Fables I - The grasshopper and the ant (SOCCER)

Article 17 : Three more important travels of the year

Decision atmosphere in the game against Lymantatia

Other decisive game : against Lymantatia at Blackberry!

RB fans at The Sarian

Pyroshow in the game against Lymantatia

After the non-invigorating game against the team of The Sarian, where we lost by 5-2, in a game full of defensive lapses and acceptance of the opponent's playing style of the levy, the team now has another decision to go this time against Lymantatia at home, in the Red Glorious in Blackberry City.Nothing more to say, Lymantatia except what can be seen in video-conferences does not show us much, by the media, a bit conservative thereof.
Are estimated 49,500 people in the Red Glorious Stadium, for this decisive match, another big challenge for 'Dark Lions'.
The still strong team fighting for the dispute of the second group, either to the playoffs or perhaps qualify directly for the World Cup, plays today against Lymantatia in Blackberry in Red Glorious.
A draw in the first round, a game without many chances and thinly traded, the team certainly will need to drop more in this game, trying to effect more rolls, with Felipinho and Carmona having to be more incisive and more than half kicked off for team can have a major offensive penetration ability to break the good boom of Lymantatia and get out with three points that will be crucial in this left end.A draw is that today, it would be catastrophic for the team's pretensions, then left for us to have the support of the estimated 49,500 spectators and fans who are expected in the Red Glorious today, to a large pyroshow, mosaic and a big party to encourage the team towards victory, although it is difficult to break the boom of Lymantatia good team.We have two matches at home and one at away,we can qualify directly or qualify to playoffs?We will only see during the three more important travels of the year to these players and to the football/soccer fans in the country...
The pitch is ours !!

Taking things lying down..

As a child I hear people talk to John Doe, Mary Doe Beltrano and do not take shit home. What if one of the three hear or see anything that displeases or make us feel offended, go there and resolve the issue at the time, the way that is possible. In my immense youthful naivety, I thought it beautiful. For me, it was all right. A real man had to defend his honor and his name. And as he heard my parents that it was all a big mess, I got into my head that it would be like John Doe, Mary Doe and Beltrano and never would take a shit or lie to home.
Glad I did not use this maximum long in my life. It was not hard to see that it was easier to talk than fight and apologize than to lose a friend. Of course, sometimes I wanted to solve the most violent way, but nothing that a good oxygen in the brain, having counted to ten, has not repaired.
Thus, John Doe, Mary Doe and Beltrano and insults that never took home have become obsolete and ridiculous figures for me. As had become more mature and rational, thought for all people. But that's where I was wrong completely.
It is increasingly common to see a disciple of the three friends beat his chest and scream his staff:

- I do not take shit home!

Then take fight in traffic, on the football field, bar and even the family party. It seems to be a matter of honor to be right in a conversation and if anyone disagrees with John Doe is right fight. Hit the Beltrano a club is synonymous with beatings and crash. A joke about Mary Doe the team's loss and the time closes. And if some unfortunate enter the front car of one of the three, a bottled street, the old Thirty-eight will come out of the glove compartment.
The more time passes, the more I see people who are proud of the brave and tough reputation when it should be just the opposite, since the middle of the second decade of this century. Men and women, young and old, does not matter.
Use a quote from Mahatma Gandhi Indian to finish this story. "An eye for an eye and the world will end blind". Hopefully not.

PS - Beltrano died in a bar fight, after a silly argument with a neighbor. Mary Doe is arrested after assaulting an elderly outside a stadium. And John Doe lives sad and sorry, no friend or relative to talk to. Everyone is afraid-and-so because he never takes shit home.

Modern Fables I - The grasshopper and the ant (SOCCER)

Pedro and Paul were identical twins who had the univitelino dream of being a big star in world football. Talent to this the two had to spare and had already demonstrated since the first kicks in cloth balls, still children, indoors. Clinical father's eye was not wrong and with the boys still in preschool, already spoke to the four corners that had at home two future stars.
The time was slowly making what seemed father owl daydream come true and, before 14 years old, Peter and Paul were already attraction in any city soccer field where they were going to play.
Although physically the same, the two boys had many differences. Peter was the striving of double and Paul was the easygoing type. While Peter insisted on caprichar with homework and with household chores, Paul did not hesitate to Brother necklace and curl in the obligations assumed with the mother, knowing that sooner or later, everything would be resolved in some way.
On the field, with the ball at his feet, however, the two were twins again. Aces of equal intensity, although with opposite styles. Peter was the fighter attacker, that species that knows no loose ball and does not rest until the end of the play in their own way, while Paul was opportunistic, who knew to position the area as one, waiting for the right time to pounce and decide play. Without much effort, of course.
And behold, there came the day when the great chance the dream of becoming a world football star come true came to the two boys. Within three weeks, a large national club leaders would come to the neighborhood follow the year-end game between the teams. The club would take the best player to coach in the youth of the Italian team, with great people signed contract and salary.
Anxiety took over the twins and the subject in the vicinity could be no other. It was clear from the beginning, even though more than 50 players were registered for the game, which the vacancy in the big club was one of the two brothers.
The way to spend three weeks, however, was very different to Peter and Paul. While the first trained like crazy, with a daily charge of unusual exercises for a teenager, the second rested, did African braids in her hair and rehearsed countless dances and choreography to celebrate the possible goals that would.
The expected day has arrived. The leaders appeared at the scheduled time, with video cameras and notebooks. The field was packed with all the neighborhood wanting to see the struggle that would take a boy nearby for European football. Peter and Paul did the best they could, each in his own style, but nothing was enough for the game to come out of the 0-0 and go to the penalty shootout.
The team of brothers won the decision, with both hitting penalties that charged. Peter punched in the chest and in the air, after the goal, while Paul gave two pirouettes four requebradas and made a funny little dance of a band of a new rhythm coming from Piauí.
In principle, the leaders of the big club were in doubt about the brother that would lead to Italy, as both had had very similar performances in the game. But the imbroglio did not last long. The relaxed face of Paul, with the easy laugh, dances and exotic hairstyle, revealed the profile of a determined guy who knows what he wants in life. While the tense way and closed the face of Peter were typical of a guy who has to fight his own fears and ghosts before facing the world.
The ant Peter gave a big hug in the cicada Paulo and congratulated her for winning. Still air medium, fingers between African braids with which he had not used, Paul said:

- Oh, Pedrão, go in my place, man, please. I not want to mess with it.

NEXT FABLE : The boy who loud ''Wolf''!

by **Greater Watford** » Sun Dec 07, 2014 11:45 am

Rivalries in Greater Watford

10. Outer Watford Derby - Sporting Tudor-Stanborough FC-Vicarage FC
These 3 teams all occupy areas near the city of Watford. Whilst Tudor doesn’t have a direct border with Watford, it borders the other 2 cities in this rivalry, and is considered an integral part of Outer Watford. This is a 3 team derby, formerly a 4 team derby until the collapse of Garston Rangers. With the teams often meeting in the GWNFA Super League, and their close proximity, matches could be quite intense.

In recent seasons this rivalry has been dependent on which divisions the teams are in. With Sporting Tudor in the Super League and Vicarage FC in the Challenge League, it has largely been down to Stanborough FC’s yo-yo status to decide which 2 teams meet in this rivalry.

9. Double M Derby South Mimms FC-North Mymms FC
South Mimms FC and North Mymms FC both came into the GWNFA as part of the United and Eastern Alliance. Since then, with the exception of 2AU when North Mymms FC were in National Division 2, they have always been in the same division. The curiousity in the spelling of the names comes from regional variants in spelling. In the North of Greater Watford, some words and names are spelt with a Y before a consonant, such as Mymms, Welwyn, etc. In the South, the Y is often replaced with an I.

The rivalry itself is heightened by both teams being from very small cities of around 20’000 people. The actual towns of North Mymms and South Mimms, not the whole city as a region, have a population of only 10’000. Furthermore, they are both the only 2 cities that don’t have a motorway within their boundaries. This means there is a strong sense of local spirit. Both teams further heighten this spirit, as they continue to punch above their weight, especially with secondary teams from large cities trying to work their way out of the Alliance at the moment. Nevertheless, this derby provides some close encounters, with both sides wanting to come ahead of their rivals each year.

8. Yellow Lands Derby Apsley FC-Nash Mills FC
Apsley and Nash Mills are 2 of the smaller cities in Greater Watford. Along with Frogmore, they occupy the Yellow Lands, an area of land known for its farming and agriculture industry. Both teams play in yellow shirts, with Apsley adopting black trim, and Nash Mills adopting yellow trim. As members of the United and Eastern Alliance, they played some heated games before joining the GWNFA. The rivalry hasn’t been helped by players switching sides, which tends to go down poorly with the fans of the old side.

The rivalry has been long standing due to the 2 teams being in the same division for a while, whether that is the United and Eastern Alliance, the National Division 1 or the GWFA Challenge League. In 6AU, this rivalry will not be played in the League, as Apsley stunned many to secure promotion to the Super League in a penalty shootout, in their 4th playoff attempt.

7.Hertsmere Derby Boreham Wood Town FC-Shenley FC-Elstree United FC
Another 3 team rivalry, occupying the area formerly known as Hertsmere City, and now divided into 3. The rivalry is more focused towards Boreham Wood Town FC, with Shenley FC and Elstree United FC being more friendly rivals. As Shenley FC are the rebranded Shenley and Elstree Sports Union (S&ESU), and Elstree United are a completely new club formed when the S&ESU still existed, there is support for Shenley FC in Elstree.

The 3 teams all joined the National Division 2 in 2AU. Before then, there was Hertsmere United in the old GWNFA League. Hertsmere United’s controversial move to Boreham Wood is the reason why Boreham Wood Town FC has a poor reputation, not just among the other 2 members of Hertsmere, but generally across Greater Watford. It has begun to shake off that image by playing well, even reaching the GWFA Challenge League in 5AU. In the meantime, matches between these sides always prove to be feisty affairs.

6.East Coast Derby Croxley FC-Oxhey FC
Politically these 2 cities are very closely linked. They border each other, have a good reputation for being a coastal resort, and both joined the CCGW at the same time. It is their close proximity that defines their rivalry. They joined the GWNFA Challenge League in 13BU, together. Both sides announced their ambition would be to “beat those guys down the road”. It was Croxley who achieved this first, coming 13th to Oxhey FC’s 16th. Both sides also moved into the United and Eastern Alliance in 10BU.

Off the pitch, both sides are reasonably friendly. Their proximity to one another, along with the relatively affluent status of its citizens means this rivalry is one that exists on the pitch. It is also a rare rivalry where players could play for both sides, and not end up a hate figure of either club. Nevertheless, they remain competitive on the pitch, and since Croxley FC reached the GWFA Super League, Oxhey FC have declared that their most important goal in the future.

by **Wolfbenz** » Sun Dec 07, 2014 11:54 am

The Kolbenz Times

Dire Wolves continue good form after a win against Mendoya

Fans of Wolfbenz cheering for them at the small Mendoyan stadium

Mendoya 0 - 2 Wolfbenz
Mendoya Scorers:
N/A

Wolfbenz Scorers:
Pavlov, '28'
Freud, 54'

Possession Stats:
Mendoya: 44%
Wolfbenz: 56%

Cordoba, Mendoya- The Dire Wolves dispatched the Mendoyan team fairly easily, winning against the team of amateurs 2-0 away from home, still keeping their position of 5th place in group 2, surprising everyone after their close 2-1 win against Nassau Hessen, thanks to Tsvetko Andreasen's 2 goals scored.

Goran Pavlov was cleared to play after his injury in the Leadan-Wolfbenz game, and started for the Dire Wolves, with Tsvetko Andreasen getting placed back on the bench for the time being, but manager Klaus Zoller has said, "he will get more playing time with the national team."

Wolfbenz is in a prime position to get eliminated come next next match against Gregoryisgodistan, who are one position above the Dire Wolves and have six more points than them as well, but have played one game more than the Wolfish team so that may be a reason we technically are not eliminated yet. But our extremely slim chance of getting to the World Cup will most likely be ended by the Gregoryisgodistanis in the next match.

Wolfbenz's Road to World Cup 70:
First Half
MD1:vs. Ledan 0-3 L
MD2:@ Nassau Hessen 3-0 L
MD3. vs. Albundania 6-1 W
MD4:@ Valladares 3-2 L
MD5: BYE
MD6: vs. Mendoya 3-0 W
MD7: @ Greygoryisgodistan 2-0 L
MD8: vs. Sargossa 1-1 D
MD9: @ Furellum 1-0 L

Second Half
MD10: @ Ledan 0-2 W
MD11: vs. Nassau Hessen 2-1 W
MD12: @ Albundania 1-6 W
MD13: vs. Valladares 0-1 L
MD14: BYE
MD15: @ Mendoya 0-2 W
MD16: vs. Gregoryisgodistan
MD17: @ Sargossa
MD18: vs. Furellum

Comments

Bobbeh a few seconds ago
Another good win against Mendoya guys! We're going to have to buckle down to stand a chance against those crazy Foot Slaves!
549 up 54 down

Wolfskinmaan 23 minutes ago
I'm going to the local bar in my town to see the Dire Wolves play. Wish us luck!
301 up 102 down

Sassyphatboi 1 hour ago
gregoryisgodistan is mor lyke gregisstupidistan we're gonna kil u greggy and klaus zoller is only god not u
6 up 6 down

by **Chiata** » Sun Dec 07, 2014 12:56 pm

Chiata Times
Turnaround

The Chiata Suns finally met expectations for once. Actually, they surpassed them for what it's worth. With Chiata's dubious home record this campaign, everyone half-expected for Chiata to lose against Kernansqiullec. Last home game, Chiata had failed to revamp their race to the playoffs when they drew to Kandorith 3-3. However, Chiata changed things around in front of the half-filled Gulf Stadium and set Chiata back to their rightful place.

Chiata started out with the ball on the pitch and got to work right away. Ringer-Toso kicked off and brought it to Swade. Swade broke past midfield and spun around striker Lilac. With this, Swade chewed up some distance to the goal but barely got the pass off to McGreen in the face of an oncoming Kaufer. The midfielder ran to the sideline and got set to make a cross but was to far away from the goal. He though better of it and squeezed past Yegos along the sideline. Dubois came in as help and forced McGreen to backtrack the ball to Willis. Willis found a hole in the Kers' defense by making a lofty pass to Rickers on the left side of the pitch. Rickers slipped behind the defense and came in at an angle. Ellysa closed the distance as Rickers fired. He somehow managed to curve it, sending the ball off the woodwork and into the goal free from even being scraped by Ellysa.

The Green and Whites tried to make something happen in the resulting possession but nothing occurred. Swade brought the ball deep into the front field but was beaten back by a swarm of defenders on top of slow help to arrive from the midfield. Zorm received the ball and chipped it to Poutre who ran around a bit before hitting it back to Noupen. Nothing from Noupen, so the ball went to Iris. Finally, Iris found some separation and advanced forward. The Suns defense rumbled in and forced Iris to take a wild shot that sailed way above the crossbar. Stewert took the goal kick and jammed it up field. Rickers came up to greet the ball but landed poorly and fell to the ground in obvious pain. Poor Rickers was helped off the field and replace by Peurralt. Eager to take back lost momentum from the injury, Ringer-Toso took a chance and escaped the Kers' midfielders. At a dead on sprint. Ringer-Toso released a shot at the box and it whipped past all the defenders. Ellysa dove the right direction but not far enough as the ball grazed her gloved fingers.

After only twenty six minutes, the Suns were up by two. The game was quickly slipping away from Kernansquillec and they could hardly do anything about it. Poutre went on a run but was quickly stopped by Chriss and therefor forfeited the ball back to Chiata. Peurralt got a handle on the ball and sprinted past the midfielders who had to quickly change direction and then go into pursuit. Peurralt met Ringer-Toso in stride who neatly chipped the ball up over the defense towards the goal. Ellysa was prepared to take the easy grab for the ball but was ran into by a backpedaling Kaufer. With both of them on the ground, the ball bounced in humiliatingly unopposed. Ringer-Toso now had two for the day and was staying hot along with the rest of the team. Miles was subbed out and replaced by Fermer for Chiata. the Kers took the ball again but didn't do anything with it. The defense for the Suns was as rock solid as ever and nothing got through. Kernansquillec finally clamped down stopped all scored for the rest of the half. Of course, not before Lilac lost his temper and received a yellow card in the 44th minute.

To start the second half, Indignu pulled Yegos and put in Cressac. Changes must have been made to the defense after the first 45. After having allow three shots to go in, Ellysa began to make well timed saves and the defense began making more challenges for the Green and Whites. Conversely, the Suns fell out of rhythm and found it hard to find the goal but still stopped most, if not all strikes made by Kernansquillec. At the 62nd, Kaufer and Lilac were brought out and Ó Maolmhuaidh and Keys were placed into the game to try to change things up. The move failed completely and Indignu had run out of substitutions to reverse the damage. Ringer-Toso hit a grounded in between the posts and muddled the defense again. Soon, the Kers defense began yelling at each other as Ringer-Toso was subbed out for a job well done and a hat trick. Seal jumped in to replace him.

The game clock hit seventy minutes and the Green and Whites were still silent. Somehow, the dismal attendance and Gulf Stadium had grown as fans bought tickets just to see the final twenty minutes. Three minutes later, the fans got their money's worth as Britt tripped up O Maolmhuaidh and shot directly at the goal. Somehow, Ellysa missed the grab and the ball went through to the net. 5-0 and Ellysa was down on the ground not believing what was happening. The rest of the the Kers had the same look as they were shocked by this disastrous game for them. And of course, Willis just had to score in the 81st minute to make the score 6-0. Finally, Fillmont told the crew to lay back and the game soon ended with Kernansquillec rushing off the field and the Chiata Suns beholding an almost full stadium on its feet.

This was was very, very big for Chiata. It put moral up through the roof and even hurled Chiata back up to second place on goal difference against Kandorith. You can bet your socks that Gulf Stadium will be packed for the final home game of qualifying against Polar Islandstates. In the meantime, cross you fingers and toes so that Chiata will win away against Mangolana whom we beat last time around 4-0. Chiata has clawed there way back, now all we have to do is fend of the hordes.

by **Gylias** » Sun Dec 07, 2014 1:29 pm

THE ECONOMIC JOURNAL

National Bank reduces interest rates to 6,0%

Sunday, 7 December 2014

MISHAWAKA, MISHAWAKA ADMINISTRATIVE REGION -- The National Bank of Gylias has reduced its key interest rate from 6,5% to 6,0% in order to stimulate the economy during the last quarter of the fiscal year.

The move is in line with previous expectations, and comes after a previous interest rate decrease from 7,0% to 6,5% at the start of November. Further incremental decreases will take place on a monthly basis, with the interest rate planned to reach 5,0% in February 2015, before being incrementally returned to the 7,0% level over the course of the next year.

The Bank has traditionally held firm to a "tunnel" approach in terms of monetary policy, aiming at keeping Gylian economic growth stable and avoiding "extreme" fluctuations in the growth rate. This approach has given it a long record of prudence, as it has increased interest rates when the economic growth trended close to the upper limit of the tunnel, to prevent overheating, and decreased them when it lurched dangerously low. It has continued to use the approach after being given independence in matters of monetary policy in 1990, having only deviated from it during the late 1980s when it hiked interest rates to combat inflation.

The period of December, January and February has long been the weakest quarter of the Gylian fiscal year in terms of economic growth, due to reduced workloads from summer vacations, though this is to some extent mitigated by tourism. The interest rate reduction is aimed at incentivising investment during the period to keep the economy stable and maintain growth rates within the tunnel.

Last year, Gylias' economy grew by a total of 3,2% overall, and current growth figures are largely in line with the Bureau of Statistics and Accounting's forecast of a 3,0% annual growth rate.

by **Northern Sunrise Islands** » Sun Dec 07, 2014 1:49 pm

A recap from the game they just had played was on the TV. The match at Crystal Empire didn't seem to be that hard. What was once a team that seemed to be competitive at all moments was now taking their time. The National Team almost never played the same Starter 11 throughout the qualifiers and ranging from stars such as Ruby to small bleeps on the radar such as Akiyo played at least once, disregarding if it was a competitive bout against Britonisea or The Calanian Union or just Etelkoz. To say the least, these qualifiers were starting to be handled near perfectly by the USI and even though they kept an eye open here and there, things were going so far so well that it seemed like they could just sleep and play their games at Dreaming Sunrise Islands or whatever the Arceusian Union adds next.

Then again, as Tamara knew; the Sunrisian roster had never been flowing with so many potential talent as it were at their debut under the Unified Sunrise Islands name. Everyone knew it meant something when even the lower cuts of the entire roster such as Marquinhos Carnavalense, Brittany Cleese and Isaac "Staw" Suplex-Tilt-a-Whirl were putting a hell of a performance whenever requested. Not to say the chance of having Maynor "Miracle" Marian on the Right Back spot meant that most of the defensive pains, a frequent issue on the days of Justin Redwing; seemed to be finally solved. Sure, the offense lacked players of the likes of Namine Nagatomo and Christie Travis, while players like Café and Abuda had been a bit lackluster, but Chiyo's squad had them replaced decently enough.

It was weird for the Savior Grey's number 16 to be included among these players. A back-up for Eastern Sunrise's most proeminent player, Tamara had been a fixture at Brenecia for Arceus know how long and while she was no Miracle, she had enough of a support to stick around with the side. Sure, older players without a lot of name tend to be cut quick back at the National Team, but she was a good enough right back and nobody knew if (or when, for that matter) Marian would be always there for the squad. She did smile at the thought of being a starter on the Victory Road Warriors, but that was something that most likely would not happen.

Unless she could age back.

Special News! Said the anchorpony. A strange phenomenon has affected Sunrisians that live inside the Unified Sunrise Islands area. It seems that everyone whose age was over 20 years old had their age somehow returned back to 20 years. According to religious leaders inside the Arceusian Union, that event has been named "Arceus Exi Machinae", referring to the whole thing being a way of masking some sort of database failure. If one considers real life to be archived as notepad data.

For a moment, Tamara's eyes shined. Could that be what she needed?

The event, however, seems to have reached its' limit, only affecting the people inside Unified Sunrise Islands that happen to have also been born at that area. Sunrisians outside and foreigners inside Unified Sunrise Islands remain the same.

Bollocks.

by **Schottia** » Sun Dec 07, 2014 2:06 pm

SBC Online...

When Schottia captain Colin Donaldson retires at the end of this tournament he will leave behind a gaping hole in the national side. The 33-year-old has been an ever-present part of the team for more than a decade. In that time he has won over one hundred caps scoring 21 goals and creating countless more. The player, who has been an idol for a whole generation of Schottia fans, has partnered four different players in the midfield, most recently Gary Corsie. So now that he is hanging up his international boots for good, who could possibly come in to replace Mister irreplaceable?

In this SBC Online special Football pundit and U-21 manager Jock Sonny looks at the credentials of the potential players who could come in to fill the gulf:

In many ways Jack Baxter would be the easy choice, sort term at least, he was of course a regular in the first team before former teammate Gary Corsie pushed him onto the bench. Baxter certainly has the experience to play at this level, and as Port Sebastian captain, led his club to the title in 2013. He is a tough tackling type of player, who isn't afraid to mix thing up and has great strength on the ball.

Approaching 31 however, we are probably going to find ourselves in this situation again in a few years. Even Jack himself would be in favour of ushering the next generation, and probably would only want the position short term.

On the plus side, he is tried and tested, and already used to playing alongside Corsie. Other side of the coin he is the wrong side of 30 and he is not going to have the time to forge a lasting partnership in the midfield.

Eoin Killanen is another option already in the current squad. The 20-year-old was subject to a £8 million move from Lammerton to Vyrsaran side FC Zürich, and certainly has the star quality to make the step up. Killanen normally operates in attacking midfield, however I played him in the centre during the U-21s' Di Bradini cup campaign, and he performed well in a side he captained.

Killanen is certainly an excellent player who will go far, but it would leave Schottia with a very young midfield, one of which playing in his less favoured position.

The opposite is true in the case of New Belfast player Jon Fotan who starts regularly in the central role for his club, but is preferred out left for Schottia. At 23 Fotan is already a top international player and is entrusted with set-piece duties. In fact, one of the criticism of him out wide is his lack of pace and that would perhaps be less apparent through the middle.

Fotan would seem in many ways the logical choice, but given that he is already part of a winning the set-up, the old adage is; If it's not broken...

One player who has performed domestically and could do a job is Port James' Mark Kelman. The 24-year-old joined the club two years ago from Handon United in a £2.7 million deal. Since then the midfielder has gone from strength to strength, and has been one of the main factors in Port James' strong title charge this season. Kelman is a great all-round player and already has 5 goals in 12 games this season.

Kelman fits the exact mould for what many Schottic fans would be looking for; the only problem is that he has never been tried or tested at the top level.

One of the wildcards perhaps is 18-year-old Kim Coultan. The former Dundee girl is now plying her trade at Jottnar Kallsmudden in Buyan and by all accounts has put in a few appearances. Coultan would be Schottia's first female full international, and at 18 would be one of the youngest players in the national team. She has already made huge bounds in women's football terms though, playing in the Olympic side, which reached the last eight this summer, and I selected her for the Di Bradini cup team.

Coultan is clearly a talented youngster playing in a very strong league, but is this one cycle to early for the teenager? There would be questions as to whether she was ready to make the step up.

I'm not trying to claim any of this information will help Barry Gorman with the inevitable headache he will have when Donaldson calls it a day. However, to anyone reading this, at least it is clear to see that will hopefully be a good headache, rather than a bad one.

Jock Sonny

by **The Inevitable Syndicate** » Sun Dec 07, 2014 2:23 pm

Sports :: World Cup 70 :: Qualifiers
Tags: Atlantian Oceania, Calanian Union, World Cup 70, Etelkoz, Corvidae
Corvidae Mirror Squad Taken Out In Etelkoz
Mirror Squad Found and Detained - Match Stopped 76 Minutes In - Calanian Union Take Loss as Fine

21st June 2193

by Harvey Harding

Undisclosed Location, ETELKOZ---- News has reached the shores of the Calanian Union today that the Corvidae Mirror squad that has been repeatedly harassing the Calanian Union has finally been apprehended by Anti-Corvidae forces, and detained. The incident occurred during the Calanian Union's away game against Etelkoz last night, as officials had predicted that the organisation would strike on the soil of the nation which has seen a lot of civil unrest during these qualifiers after a local government collapse. The Calanian Union Team was escorted to the nation by the military, who were well equipped to subdue the Mirror Squad after an informant revealed details about this branch of Corvidae's military capabilities.

Upon arrival to the stadium, the national team were left alone as not to attract unwanted attention and spoil the operation. Business continued as usual (including the signing of official documentation classing the match as valid by World Cup officials) before the Calanian military entered the stadium by helicopter and stopped the game in the 76th minute. Nobody was present at the stadium to watch the game, as travel to Etelkoz from the Union had been banned as part of the tougher border measures put in place after the Corvidae attack at the Neorudo Olympic Stadium, and home fans has been turned away by the mirror team before the match was scheduled to begin.

Once again, no reporters were on hand to watch the scene, as they were also sent away, but it has been revealed that the scoreline at the 76th minute was unfortunately 3-2 to the enemy team. As the validation documentation was signed by officials (even though they may not have wanted to), the match result is unfortunately still valid, and this spells disaster for the Calanian Union as they find themselves struggling for second place in the qualification table with just three games to go. While these games may be against teams that the national team have won over quite easily before, there could be a similar upset to the one that happened at the end of the first half of the qualifiers, where the Crystal Empire edged out a win against the Calanian Union by a single goal. If this were to happen again, it would most likely spell curtains for the Union and their chances to qualify.

Gerald Montier has expressed concern at the World Cup Committee's obvious shying away from dealing with the matter at hand, stating that these games were 'played under unjust conditions against impostor teams' and that 'an actual game against actual opponents should be necessary at this level of play'. When shown countless pieces of footage of football teams playing against all manner of creatures, such as birdmen, purple stinging nellies, aliens, ethereal gas beings, jumping beans, gods, Simeone Di Bradini, Sbrskj Krk Trkrj, and An Egg, he sat down and buried his head in his hands.

The Corvidae insurgents that have been apprehended were promptly flown to Luwhel-Besny, where they will remain in a detention centre in Hasparren before they are trialled for conspiracy to commit terrorist acts.

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by **Yttribia** » Sun Dec 07, 2014 3:35 pm

The following is an excerpt from the most recent edition of Revista Para el Galán (OOC: GQ), featuring an interview with Daniel Cardona, manager of the Yttribian national football team, in addition to many other articles dedicated for the man with style. You can access the interview in its entirety by subscribing to Galán Plus for only 72 Perioden a year, or 128.88 NSD. That's 10.74 NSD for twelve editions of the most informative magazine in the areas of fashion, travel, cooking, music, and sport. You can also get a two year subscription for 108 Perioden, or 193.92 NSD. That's twenty-five percent off of the regular two-year deal! Once again, to view this article in full, subscribe to Galán Plus today!

CC: Now, it's been around three weeks since the "Incident," as you call it. And since then, the team had been doing better than last time, as you like to put it. But, we're approaching the final three matchdays, and "divine intervention" is to be needed, as you say. And when you use that term, Daniel, what do you mean by that? Is there going to be an angel from high above, and changing the results of those two devastating losses at the start of the second half of quals, or what?

DM: Heh...well, as much as I want those two wins back, or at least points, what's done is done. I don't want to go rambling on about how shit we played those few games. Because I already did that a while back, as you already know. But when I use the term "divine intervention," I mean we're going to need to heavily rely on the lower-ranked teams to pull off an upset against Quebec. What delights me is that Filopines plays Quebec at home, and so I'm hoping for the best. As long as they get four points or less, and we do extremely well in our final three matches, we might be able to do the impossible, as many pundits have referred to our Herculean task now.

CC: Speaking of the Incident, what was going on through your mind, as you said what you said?

DM: A bunch of emotions, for sure. Sort of hormonal, to be honest. And just general anger, because we had terrible refereeing that match, and the fact their squad comprised of eighteen literal blokes picked out of the stands. So I just had to say what I had to say. And when you have a squad that had been plain old dead the past few days, and your manager is pretty fired up about something, and not in the good way, you react. It's apart of our human nature to react with great intensity when a superior chastises you in any way shape or form. I mean, who hasn't been chastised for being sluggish? Sure, you may get fired, or suspended...or grounded when your intense emotions fire back at your superior, but in my profession, intensity is needed to get successful results. And that's what I hope to see the team excel in the near future.

CC: All wrapped up in emotions, I see. And because of the emotional tirade, you're now becoming one of the highest royalty receivers in the nation with how much ringtones, shirts, phone cases, and more are selling for. Now, after a while, how do you view your new found economic success?

DM: Well, I'm still surprised the fact that Yttribians are using lines from my tirade in everyday conversation. In fact, I've heard there are people who use the entire tirade as a monologue for auditioning, and it baffles me that it's a good monologue. Truly does. But the money I'm getting is alright. Lot of money pouring in from inside your Confederation and around the multiverse. But while I'm all for the money they give me, I just have a thing against people calling the tirade the "Press Bomb." It's just a terrible name for something crazy of that magnitude, ya feel? Not only that, but I didn't give it that name, so why have it referred to like that? It's just my personal opinion, and it probably doesn't matter, but I just have a grudge against the name of the tirade, you feel? But answering your question, I sure as hell enjoy this bonus I'm getting.

CC: Well put. Moving on, you've been known to have one of the biggest sophomore slumps in the history of multiversal football, back with Felix in their second time through. As manager of the Yttribian National Team, would you consider this qualifying campaign a slump?

DM: Not necessarily, no.

CC: Why?

DM: Well, other than our two losses that hurt our chances dramatically, we still did pretty well in the Campionato Esportiva, something people have put in the back of their heads. I mean, sure it sucked not winning on home turf, but we came pretty damn close to a Ruentenbach squad who barely made their way into the finals. Quite surprising that they're still doing well, with the situation back there and what have you. But it's much more important to excel when you have the best teams in the world competing against you for one of thirty-two spots in the World Cup. Besides, even if we don't see ourselves there this cycle, I guarantee you we'll be there the cycle after.

CC: Pretty optimistic there, Daniel, if I do say so the least. What's with the sureness of that bold statement?

DM: Craig, the nation has co-hosted two major footballing tournaments within the past three years, being the Campionato Esportiva with our Nepharim brothers and sisters, and the Cup of Harmony with the always great Valladar associates. I think it might be time to go on for a bigger event, and that's what the Yttribian Football Federation, and the Government have been planning for a while since the end of the Campionato, possibly earlier.

CC: You don't mean that-

DM: I suggest you keep your eye out in the near future, because we do have some plans to introduce the regions of Esportiva, Atlantian Oceania, and Rushmore to an Yttribia that has recovered from fascism, and one that is welcoming the entire sporting world to its borders in the next cycle or so.

CC: Well, I'll be damned. It's pretty amazing to hear that we'll see the biggest tournament in all of sport finally make its way her, huh?

DM: Oh, most definitely.

CC: But how will the team be like without the likes of Xavi, without the likes of Mynatt, without the likes of Ulrich Draper, et cetera?

DM: It's going to be a bit...

Yttribia 0-1 Royal Kingdom of Quebec
Goalscorers
Hertel (QUE) 56'

by **Apox** » Sun Dec 07, 2014 4:01 pm

There was no room for manoeuvre now. There never is in an Apoxian qualifiying campaign - you can always guarantee we'll fuck it up sufficiently enough to mean we only just Qualify or not at all. It the Apoxian way.

Quakmybush were an opponent we'd played before. We have a good record against them, the confidence. They were one of the few teams in World Cup 66 qualifying who we actually managed to do the double over, Keri scoring thrice over two games, with Matthias poking in a goal too, if I recall it correctly. We'd already beat them in the first leg, 1-0 away, Luxulya St. Cleer scoring that goal, and now, in the middle of fairly poor run against the higher ranked opponents, we needed a win against the "top" side to keep our qualification hopes alive.

It was a good day, clear, warmish, but not hot. The Royal Stadium was packed to the rafters - it always is, the fans putting on a good show. The gaffer put a strong line-up out, not the nominal starting XI, Luxulya [St. Cleer] was in for Alice [Monteforth], Zana [Ibrox] was starting over Armando Quillisi as he had an injury. We felt confident though ready to go out and win.

They started well though, Zadi [Solomon Etezadi] was just about able to hold their attackers at bay, Nicolas was also doing well. It was a corner though where the first goal went in, a slow arching ball which went clean over the top of Zadi's head, straight towards me and the fella I was marking. I've never been the best at marking, I'll admit, and I let him get away from me. Before I know anything, he's slipped ahead of me, and the ball's heading goalwards, past Ettie, who just glared at me. Not my best.

The second goal wasn't any less ignominious. A tame shot by their centre midfielder, well, it could have been a shot, could have been a cross, was miscleared by Zadi, straight into our own net. The gaffer is normally a pretty calm fella, however he was raging at us on the touchline, screaming abuse at us, gesticulating to the touchline officials, angrily discussing with Jorge [Guardia, the assistant manager]. He didn't stop during the half-time talk, hell, he ripped us all a new arsehole.

We came out full of attacking intent. It was literally as if both sides had swapped roles. Kaj Aurora, I've never seen her so worked up, so full of passion. And this is a passionate girl we're taking about here. She basically dragged us to our first goal, piling in the crosses, until either Adnan [Zozula] or me managed to get our head on one. It was me in the end, jumped high enough to get it in. There was a bit of a fanfare over how it was my 44th international goal or something, that was all people could talk about, me chasing down Dravid Scott's record. I wasn't too fussed to be honest. I hadn't broken it yet, and we had a game to win.

We were even more pumped after that, though that wasn't great for the side, Teathy nearly playing them through on goal, another goal from them only being stopped by the most well timed save from Ettie, grabbing the ball from under their attacker. That pegged us back a hole, more cautious, less kamikaze.

The equaliser was easy to come by though, as they conceded a free-kick in deep in their own half with Ulrika taking it in stead of Armando. By this point, our guys superior athleticism was definitely beginning to shine through, they'd made a few substitutions but as a whole we were holding out better. Ulrika took this kick - absolute peach of a ball - which Zadi rose high enough to head in; he'd been desperate to atone for his earlier mistake all match. 2-2 and now the belief was back.

That's what our side has been perhaps lacking in recent times - that lack of cutting edge when the going gets tough. We're not the small, plucky underdogs picking up point off bigger sides from before my time. We're a top team - we've got to start acting like one. The third goal, the winner. Now that was a goal from a top team. A whole stream of passes, I can't remember who was involved but it was a good few of the team, Luxulya St. Cleer was for one, she was instrumental. Eventually the ball was at my feet, I was in the box. Goal, go for goal was my first thought, and I fucking fired it goalbound. Despite that, the keeper managed to get a glove on it but Adnan, well, he's always been a bit of a poacher, and he latched onto that, and poked it in. Not the most tidy finish, but it gets a job done, and in this game - that was what we needed.

by **Sargossa** » Sun Dec 07, 2014 4:01 pm

SSM | Sargossan State Media

International Edition - Sport

Playoff Or Bust

Mario Najar reports;

Oh the drama. Why can’t we have one of those lovely easy runs through qualifying that others seem to enjoy? Because that simply isn’t how we do things here. And having temporarily lost the playoff spot to Gregoryisgodistan after a thoroughly disappointing performance in Nassau Hessen the Corsairs were presented with a chance to win it back almost immediately.

Standing between Sargossa and second place were unranked Albundania, a mere footnote in this campaign. Or they should have been but for a gutsy, back’s to the wall and other assorted condescending buzz-phrases performance that stole three points from the Corsairs earlier in the campaign, points that may yet proof highly costly. But this time they were in Soluca were Sargossa have won five and drawn one of their six qualifiers so far. Payback was on and it would indeed be a bitch.

The visitors showed little of the vintage that once saw their predecessors reach the World Cup Final itself as the experienced duo of Defederico and Escobar dominated the centre of the pitch. It was Escobar’s interception that led to the opener. He then laid it off to Cifuentés who floated a diagonal ball into the penalty area. The Albundanian defence stood static as Stefano Bustos rose unchallenged to head the ball into the top corner. And it was Bustos who doubled his own and the team’s tally with a low drive from inside the box that took a vicious deflection off a defender to wrong foot the keeper. When Defederico bent a twenty yard freekick into the back of the net to make it three nil the match looked dead and buried before halftime. But we’re Sargossa so the visitors would no doubt have something to say before the end.

And naturally Albundania were indeed afforded that slight chance to gain a foothold in the match when Dacio Sanz swung a lazy boot in the box, missed the ball entirely and took away the leg of a visiting attacker to concede a penalty. Confidence oozed from the visiting striker as he fired the resultant spot kick high and hard straight down the middle. Were this an away game that would be the signal for a catastrophic drop in form and a resurgent charge from the plucky underdogs. Fortunately the Corsairs have shown themselves to be made of sterner stuff here in the capital. The Albundanian goal only spurred the home side on further and they missed a host of chances before substitute Enzo Jaro restored the three goal cushion and wrapped all three points.

The final whistle was met by cheers but that noise paled in comparison to the sound that greeted the scores from elsewhere in Group Two. Because over in Esportiva Gregoryisgodistan had been beaten by Valladares, meaning Sargossa was back in the playoff spot with just three games left to play. And these three matchdays are going to be tense. Next up for the Corsairs is a nasty trip to runaway group leaders Valladares, gifting both the ‘Godistanis and surprise package Furellum a chance to take second place should there be any slip-up. But Furellum too have an upcoming fixture with the Valladars and Gregoryisgodistan have an ill-timed bye day during the final round of matches so it really is all still to play for. And in the role of Kingmaker I give you little Wolfbenz who play all three of the playoff contenders in their final three fixtures. The Corsairs having already dropped points to the Dire Wolves, so that’s a real comfort.

by **Jeckland** » Sun Dec 07, 2014 4:25 pm

Jeck HItchkin stood up purposefully, having just found out the news he wanted to hear. He was ready.

He'd never wanted to lead a country into war. He was a tough cookie, certainly, but he always looked for the peaceful solution. Sometimes it was a trait which stood him in good stead. However, on this occasion he felt it was the cowardly way. Jecatria had been ignored for too long.

Of course, there were other nations that needed liberating out there. Greogryisgodistan stands as the most obvious example, however Jeckland lacked the military might to stand a chance of doing anything meaningful. Heck, Jecatria were going to be a tough nut to crack. But with air strikes from Gloriax and fighters from San Jose Guayabal pitching in, it looked easy enough to do.

The tactic was simple, and one of Hitchkin's own choosing. Simply land on beaches all across Jecatria, all at once in a synchronised and surprise attack. Form a circle of the army around Jecatria, then move swiftly in before they could react. Seemed fairly foolproof, given the relative size of the two armies. But there was one thing to bear in mind.

Jecatria, and Jack Holmes, would not surrender.

Lucas Moran sat on the boat, the sea breeze splashing droplets of water onto his pale white face. Usually this would cause his long black hair to fly in the wind, but today was different. He wore a helmet. There was a gun in his hands, which he absent mindedly fiddled with. He was going to war.

What a mistake.

He'd been on a path to nowhere a year ago. He was quite bright, but not a hard worker. He didn't get good grades at school, so bummed around his parents house for a couple of years before they told him to do something with his life or get out. So he'd joined the army.

It had changed him. He was no longer the lazy boy, he was the man. Training had strengthened him. But not enough. He was scared. This wasn't a training exercise. He wouldn't have to do 100 press ups when he got shot. This was war. His first assignment was a blooming war.

He looked out towards the shoreline, and saw a beautiful golden beach. It was early in the morning, so it was completely deserted as the sun rose. But Moran was no fool. There could be people anywhere. He could be dead within seconds.

FUCK.

That's what the general consensus was at the end of the Friskney Eaudyke game. They'd known travelling to the rookie side wouldn't be easy. But especially given the dropped points above them, this was a real opportunity missed. Domination counts for jack shit when you can't put the game to bed, and that's what proved to be the case here.

However bad it may seem, a couple of dropped points isn't fatal to our hopes, though it's a blow, no doubt. The only team able to gain maximum points today was Nova Anglicana, meaning everybody else above Jeckland stayed the same distance above except from the team losing to the Lions, Taeshan, who drop beneath them. Let's see the table to make more sense of it.

  Group 14              Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Eura                   13    9   1   3    42   14  +28    28
2 Nova Anglicana         14    8   3   3    30   19  +11    27
3 Isula ĝe Ru            14    8   2   4    21   12   +9    26
4 Jeckland               13    6   4   3    26   23   +3    22
5 Taeshan                13    7   0   6    18   19   −1    21
6 Kinitaria              13    5   4   4    22   18   +4    19
7 Friskney Eaudyke       14    4   2   8    20   24   −4    14
8 Western Borderlands    13    2   3   8    20   38  −18     9
9 New Ecopia             13    1   1  11     9   41  −32     4

It's wide open, with six teams still mathematically in the running to win it. Instead of focussing on every eventuality, let's look at how things would pan out if Jeckland can take the nine points on offer against Western Borderlands, Kinitaria, and New Ecopia.

This would leave the Spuds on 31 points, which is a mathematically possible group winning total. However, that is unlikely to happen, as Eura would need just three points from their remaining three games to finish ahead of Jeckland. With Taeshan and Kinitaria out of the picture in this eventuality, that leaves three discounting the Eurans.

Nova Anglicana are on 27 and Isula ge Ru on 26. Looks bleak? Look again. Both teams have played fourteen matches. So if Jeckland make that 31, they would both need five to finish above us thanks to the Head To Head tiebreaker.

However, it's not as easy as that. Jeckland have to win those three games to even have these possibilities. Kinitaria at home is looking like the stumbling block. Despite their poor campaign, this lot are a top quallty side with a point to prove (and a few they need to win). The other two, against Western Borderlands and New Ecopia, should be routine. But as has been proved time and time again, as it was last night, there is no routine. That's why I'm making no predictions on what's going to happen here.

by **Jecatria** » Sun Dec 07, 2014 4:33 pm

RING RING! RING RING! RING RING!

Jack Holmes reached across lazily to turn off his alarm, before realising that this was not his alarm. The telephone on the other side of the room was the source of the noise. Oh shit, thought Holmes, jumping out of bed like he'd been electrocuted.

As the "war" had started, Holmes had asked for 24/7 updates if anything big was happening, so that he could make snap decisions that could shift the balance of the duel. So far, nothing had happened to wake him. It had been a quiet war. But this was something bigger.

He noticed the clock read 6:03AM as he grabbed up the reciever and barked "What is it?"

"Sir" came a voice he did not recognise. "They've launched an onslaught. Boats are landing at all our beaches. We're trying to get defences up there ASAP, but they're making ground."

"What have they got with them?"

"Lots of men in lots of boats. A few tanks. Not too many other land vehicles. But there are planes from Gloriax performing air strikes and foot soldiers we believe to be from San Jose Guayabal."

"Anything else to report?"

"Nothing maj-"

He'd slammed the receiver down. This was bad. Just when they weren't expecting it, and with bigger forces to boot. Holmes, for one of the only times in his life, didn't know what to do next.

OOC: Sorry for shortness, really tired.

by **Kandorith** » Sun Dec 07, 2014 4:41 pm

It All Comes Down Till The Last Matches

Gregory Llama Land 3–3 Kandorith

   Group 6                         Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts
1 Polar Islandstates               14   12   2   0    37    9  +28    38
 2 Chiata                           14    7   4   3    31   12  +19    25
 3 Kandorith                        14    7   4   3    41   24  +17    25
 4 Kernansquillec                   13    6   3   4    26   31   −5    21
 5 Absurdly Polite Gentlemen        13    6   0   7    21   24   −3    18
 6 Gregory Llama Land               13    5   2   6    29   38   −9    17
7 Mangolana                        13    4   4   5    24   34  −10    16
 8 Beauce                           13    2   1  10    15   29  −14     7
 9 Friday Freshman                  13    0   2  11    12   35  −23     2

Disbelief as Kandorith failed to pass Gregory Llama Land on the field; devastation when the fans found out the Kandorese team lost their second position on the table. This team should have been legendary, but seems to head towards a legendary disappointment now. The Kandorese team has to put everything on everything to turn this around. Their next opponents; Friday Freshman and themselves. Kandorith has to win the next match, even if it's only by one goal. The entire qualifiers rely on Xí-tiang and his team now, they have to return in their winning shoes; and turn everything around. If there's one man who can do this, it's Xí-tiang; the fans believe in him and are rotting for him to lead the team to a last moment victory in the upcoming final stage of the qualifiers.

So far the Kandorese team has been a disappointment this season. They have been under performing and underwhelming. It is a curse brought upon the team by the previous coach Yúan, or even a curse which has lived every since legendary coach Xíanjí passed the team onto Yúan. If Xí-tiang manages to make a comeback, it will be legendary. Never in the history of Kandorese football has the team fought back from a late defeat. Will he reach legendary status like Xíanjí, or will his career be shorter than that of Yúan? One thing is certain, if this team does not manage to get to the play-offs, many faces won't return on the field. The Kandorese football association is preparing for a complete reshuffle and revamp of it's organisation and roster. Might the Kandorese team fail to reach it's set objective; this team will most likely never return as it is now.

It is up to Xí-tiang, Méng and Taiji to turn this into a moment of glory, or go down in failure. Xí-tiang has already said he would make changes to the mid field tactics, to make the team more attacking and more balanced as a whole. In his words the team "lacks the finishing attack. We have many many opportunities, but we fail to finish off teams when we have too". He said to the press during the last team meeting. Xí-tiang will make the team more assertive and hopes to just aim to make more goals than the opponent in order to win. As he said, it won't be nice, but it is necessary. The entire nation is looking forward to seeing Kandorith play and win again; the nation needs a huge boost in sports as it has stooped to a new low after recent disappointments. If it was to change, Xí-tiang needs to lead the change.

by **Super-Llamaland** » Sun Dec 07, 2014 4:58 pm


Super-Llamaland (3 - 4 - 3)

GK - Jared Finch
LB - Nick Gray
CB - Javier Agudieres
RB - Derrick Nelson (CAPTAIN)
DM - Bryan Fordham
DM - Alex Bale
LM - Kyle Sturgeon
RM - Anthony Player
LW - Aidan Ferguson
RW - Eden Powell
ST - Alex Cartwright


Zips Nation (4 - 4 - 2)
GK - IDK
LB - IDK
CB - IDK
CB - IDK 
RB - IDK
LM - IDK
RM - IDK
AM - IDK
AM - IDK
ST - IDK
ST - IDK

MatchStats
SLL       ZIP
1 - goals - 0
7 - shots - 7
5 - shots on goal - 3
62 - possession - 38
1 - yellow cards - 0

GOALS - Cartwright 17

Group Table:

1 Osarius                       14   11   2   1    37   13  +24    35
2 Super-Llamaland               14   10   1   3    39   26  +13    31
3 Cosumar                       13    8   3   2    47   27  +20    27
4 Horusland                     13    4   6   3    28   26   +2    18
5 The Greater Vakolicci Haven   13    5   2   6    25   31   −6    17
6 Ancharmunn                    13    3   5   5    23   30   −7    14
7 Zips Nation                   13    3   1   9    14   25  −11    10
8 Peruvian Highlands            14    2   3   9    14   29  −15     9
9 Dracum                        13    2   1  10    21   41  −20     7

by **Blouman Empire** » Sun Dec 07, 2014 5:11 pm

THE EMPIRE TIMES

Eagles Snatch Important Win

Joesph Helton-Waines was the difference in a close match that saw the tiring Blouman defence put to the test by a fast attacking Brenecia. The 1-0 win brings the Eagles to within a point of first place with only Brenecia and Apox lying ahead with only three matches remaining.

Both sides were aware that they needed a win, Brenecia to give them a healthier buffer against the four remaining teams in contention with the Eagles needing the win to ensure they remained in contention for the automatic qualifying berth. Despite this the game didn’t start with an intensity as both sides played cautiously not looking at giving anything away and quietly tested the opposition. Blaine Cooperson had a run at goal but his wayward kick was of no concern to Brenecia. He had a better effort three minutes later but Jayce Pence easily caught the ball. Some work by Isadora Cullen and Cheney Scherzer looked good in the set up but they failed bring anything from it as Hamish Alpin blocked the shot. Morgan Underwood also tried his luck from 35 yards out but Milton Tuneson had his eye on it and caused him no trouble. Most of the first half was spent in midfield with both sides unable to keep possession for long and unable to set up many attacks. Cooperson had to be taken off in the 40th minute after he pulled his hamstring with Helton-Waines his replacement. The first half ended a goaless draw with the fans of both sides hoping for more action in the second.

The second half started much the same as the first and it looked as though it could go down as a draw, but with 30 minutes to go Brenecia appeared to spring to life as they changed their approach and began playing a fast attacking approach. The nearly scored from their first attack but the post denied Catherine Purrington’s solid strike, and Scherzer’s awkard hit form the rebound failed to put it on target. Miriam Spitfire had a shot from the edge of the area after moving around both Dominic Noble and Alpin but his shot just shot over the bar failing to drop in tmie. Scherzer had a run and was lining up to take the shot but Alpin managed to get across in time to deny him the opportunity. The Eagles wasn’t going to let Brenecia have all the shots and took them on with fast flowing counter attacks, Percy Baser took a run down the wing but Augustine Breton did his job well and but in a strong challenge to stop the attack before they could start. Baser attempted again after stealing the ball off Purrington and sending Kane Ancap off for a run despite doing the hard work to get around the defender his shot was parried over the bar by Pence. Helton-Waines had the perfect opportunity from the corner but his volley went well over the bar. Brenecia continued to push forward forcing the Blouman midfielders to sit deeper than normal. While Logan October attempted to shore up the defence replacing an exhausted Dyaln Hall for Joshua Amerdio and a poor performing Thomas Brown for Samuel Barnett it was not enough to slow down Brenecia’s attacks. The Eagles got their chance after a mistake Rowena Stamper giving Steven Mallard the chance to pounce on the ball who passed it onto Amerdio, Amerdio got past both Breton and Fiona Berenger before cutting it back for an oncoming Helton-Waines who deftly slotted the ball past Pence giving the Eagles the lead. While Brenecia continued the push desperately trying to get at least the goal back the Eagles managed to hold their nerve and kept a clean sheet giving themselves a vital three points.

Captian Hamish Alpin praised his players for keeping Brenecia at bay and stated that the last 30 minutes of the match was the most intense 30 minutes he had played for a long time. Alpin also applauded the efforts of his rivals “The determination and grit is one to be admired, they are a strong team I want to thank them for giving us one of our toughest matches in this campaign”. The win means the Empire moved into third spot after Apox beat Qualmybush 3-2 leaving the Eagles now only a point behind both Brenecia and Apox. The Eagles will need to win their final three matches and hope that other results fall in their favour to reach 1st place something Logan October is well aware of “All we can do is play our best and win the final three, it’s not going to be easy but I am confident we can do it and then we just need a few upsets”. The Eagles next travel to French Louisana whom they just managed to beat last time and will be hoping for a more certain win this time around. Meanwhile the battle for the top will play out at Kingsgarden as Brenecia host Apox, last time the two teams faced off it was a 3-3 draw and many expect this match to be no less action packed.

Last.fm · by **Cosumar** » Sun Dec 07, 2014 5:22 pm

Cosumar settles for 3-3 draw against HorusLand

RAMUSOK, COSUMAR - Up 2-0 going into the final half hour, Cosumar allowed HorusLand to score three times from minutes 63 to 71. After holding their breaths for 13 minutes, fans at Fire River Arena finally exhaled in relief with Paaron Petrov coverting from the spot after the Foxes' keeper took down Ace Newman in the box.

Despite out-shooting HorusLand 29-6 and holding 59 percent of the ball, Farris Crowley's team was left to settle for its third draw of the campaign, a disappointing result with Super-Llamaland getting their full three points in MD15. The less than desirable result has quelled the rumors of FSF bribery that dominated headlines earlier in the week.

Three moments that mattered:

1. 41′ – Sergio Vilar and Anders Engström appear to bury HorusLand. The Tigers had actually controlled the ball most of the first half, but control is a strange thing. Sometimes, it breeds a subconscious complacency that can bite you. Near the end of the first half, already up a goal, Cosumar took advantage of that control, with Vilar navigating to the baseline and setting up a lurking Engström for the easy tap-in. Against a team that’s struggled to score goals all of qualifying, the 2-0 lead seemed to end things.

2. 65′ – How do you lose HorusLand's best forward twice in two minutes? The first goal was acceptable. Great effort, and while you’d like your defenders to disrupt the cross, sometimes you have to give props to the attacking player. His second goal, however, was a simple blast to the right post from inside the top of the arc. How does a team playing two holders give an attacker who JUST scored that much time from close range?

3. 83′ – That’s what Ace Newman is for. HorusLand will surely regret giving away the late penalty that cost them two points, but that’s what physical, pacey guys like Newman can do to you. And Anders Engström, for that matter. An innocuous clearance and a weak layoff laid the foundation for Cosumar's late counter. A desperate long ball off the outside of Petrov's left foot then let Newman's speed undo the Foxes. The goalkeeper made the wrong decision, being too aggressive for a ball that was rolling at a sharp angle, but you can sympathize with his plight. Against slower players, he probably gets to that ball first.

Three lessons going forward:

1. Cosumar once again learns an old lesson – Any given Matchday, right? Even against one of Group 15's struggling sides, even with a 2-0 lead, an experienced Cosumar team was reminded: The least of teams can still take a scalp, as evidenced by Zips Nation's 3-1 shocker over Osarius last week.

2. The good HorusLand is never too far around the corner. This was an upset based on the group standings, but the Foxes aren't too far behind the Dragons in terms of rank. HorusLand played to the potential everyone saw in World Cup 69. At Cosumar, against a team that puts up huge edges in shots and possession, feisty HorusLand were willing to play on the counter. While that doesn’t always generate the best chances, on MD15 it did.

3. Life without Sur Arora may be near. After 24 minutes, the prolific striker was gone, unable to put weight on his leg as he left the game. Yes, it was the same leg he broke in WC69 Qualifying. It remains unclear, however, whether the injuries are connected and how severe the new injury is. On came Segio Vilar, a player who proved his worth in Arora's absence in the Cup of Harmony and AOCAF. And hell, Vilar scored the game's opening goal on a header just after coming in. Though Vilar and Ipier Ubuntu give Crowley some depth at the position, Arora's loss could loom large for a team whose odds of qualifying are narrowing with each matchday. Arora leads the team with 16 goals in this cycle. No one else has more than 9.

Cosumar
28 shots (9 on-target)
59% Possession
84% pass accuracy
14 fouls, 2 yellow cards (90+2' Mortonsson, 90+4' Petrov)
HorusLand
6 shots (4 on-target)
41% Possession
87% pass accuracy
13 fouls, 3 yellow cards
Cosumar - 3
25' (Vilar)
41' (Engström)
84' (Petrov)
HorusLand - 3
63'
65'
71'

The draw was a lifesaver for HorusLand, who remain in the hunt for a playoff spot. A loss would have eliminated them from World Cup contention entirely. Cosumarite fans will be less thrilled with the result. A win over the Foxes would have kept them on pace to surpass Super-Llamaland for 2nd by the end of Qualifying. Now, the odds are no longer in our favor.

Here are the teams still in contention:

1 Osarius                       14   11   2   1    37   13  +24    35
2 Super-Llamaland               14   10   1   3    39   26  +13    31
3 Cosumar                       13    8   3   2    47   27  +20    27
4 Horusland                     13    4   6   3    28   26   +2    18

Though Osarius seems comfortably in control of the group, they still have to play both Super-Llamaland AND Cosumar and could still theoretically get left out if they slip up in these matches. Super-Llamaland's 1-0 win over Zips Nation gives them a critical four-point edge on the Dragons, though they also have one fewer game left to play. Ideally, the Dragons would like to be within one point of Super-Llamaland going into the final Matchday against Osarius so they could hope for a draw to pull them even (Cosumar would win the tiebreaker).

So in this intense race for 2nd between Cosumar and Super-Llamaland, how will things shape up in the final stretch?

Super-Llamaland Remaining Matches
@ Greater Vakolicci Haven (likely result: W)
vs. Osarius (likely result: L)
Projected Point Total: 34

Cosumar Remaining Matches
@ Zips Nation (likely result: W)
vs. Greater Vakolicci Haven (likely result: W)
@ Osarius (likely result: L)
Projected Point Total: 33

As you can see, if all goes as expected, Super-Llamaland will just barely beat out Cosumar for that coveted playoff spot. The Dragons have two more easily winnable games, but it won't be enough to close the gap unless they get a point from Osarius or Super-Llamaland falters against the Vakolicci. Snagging a playoff spot is still a possibility for the Dragons, but they will need a bit of luck to swing their way with how these final few results play out. Or, you know, just offer the referees and Guayabalense officials some more of that supposed bribe money. Either one would work.

Regardless of how this saga plays out, Cosumar's performance in this World Cup has been commendable. Playoff or no playoff, Cosumarites across the world should be proud of their team.

Thank you for reading The Cosumarite Courier's exclusive World Cup 70 Coverage. Follow us on Twitter @TheCourier or subscribe to our website (TheCourier.cos) to receive daily updates and analysis of Cosumar's progress in the tournament.

Wally Vanderjagt
Staff Writer

Cosumar's World Cup 70 Journey
Pre-Qual Friendly: Star United States 0-0 Cosumar
Pre-Qual Friendly: Cosumar 2-1 San Jose Guayabal
Pre-Qual Friendly: Equestrian States 1-0 Cosumar
Matchday 1: Super-Llamaland 4-3 Cosumar
Matchday 2: Bye
Matchday 3: Cosumar 4-0 Dracum
Matchday 4: Ancharmunn 4-4 Cosumar
Matchday 5: Cosumar 1-1 Peruvian Highlands
Matchday 6: HorusLand 2-4 Cosumar
Matchday 7: Cosumar 4-0 Zips Nation
Matchday 8: The Greater Vakolicci Haven 3-6 Cosumar
Matchday 9: Cosumar 2-4 Osarius
Mid-Qual Friendly: Walamzia 1-5 Cosumar
Matchday 10: Cosumar 4-2 Super-Llamaland
Matchday 11: Bye
Matchday 12: Dracum 2-3 Cosumar
Matchday 13: Cosumar 4-1 Ancharmunn
Matchday 14: Peruvian Highlands 1-5 Cosumar
Matchday 15: Cosumar 3-3 HorusLand
Matchday 16: Zips Nation vs. Cosumar
Matchday 17: Cosumar vs. The Greater Vakolicci Haven (@ Leviathan Arena, Kaldukosic, Cosumar)
Matchday 18: Osarius vs. Cosumar
Blue: Draw
Green: Victory
Red: Defeat

Cosumar Goal-Scorers Tally (47 GF)
Sur Arora (16)
Ace Newman (9)
Anders Engström (7)
Paaron Petrov (5)
Kirum Mortonsson (3)
Jon-Perohlin Nodtveit (2)
Jukka Lindroos (1)
Felix Merchison (1)
Dean Harold McSaunders (1)
Tae Woo Miyori (1)
Sergio Vilar (1)

Cosumar Assists Tally
Anders Engström (8)
Ace Newman (6)
Felix Merchison (4)
Paaron Petrov (4)
Vareza Na'Noni (4)
Sur Arora (4)
Tae Woo Miyori (2)
Petri Hansen (1)
Tomi Koskinen (1)
Sergio Vilar (1)

World Cup 70 - RP Thread

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