World Cup of Hockey XXV [Everything/IC]

[Vaugania]

Semifinals MD2 - Quebecois Side

MTS Centre, Winnipeg, Royal Kingdom of Quebec
Royal Kingdom of Quebec 1–1 Gregoryisgodistan (1–2 OT)
Gregoryisgodistan wins series 2-0

[The Royal Kingdom of Quebec]

St.John's Ice Arena, St.John's, Vaugania
Havl 10–4 Vilita and Turori
Havl wins series 2-1

Final Fixture (To be scorinated by Royal Kingdom of Quebec)
Yzerberg Ice Hall, Yzerberg, Vaugania
#1 Havl vs. #7 Gregoryisgodistan

Third-place Game Fixture (To be scorinated by Vaugania)
Quebecom Centre, Attawapiskat, Royal Kingdom of Quebec
#11 Royal Kingdom of Quebec vs. #13 Vilita and Turori

[Gregoryisgodistan]

Excerpts from Creation Day Service
The following are excerpts from the Creation Day service held by the national hockey team in Vaugania.

12:00 AM:
The national anthem is sung, then a responsive reading is held. The text in normal is said by the leader, Worship Leader Harry Robertson, who traveled from Gregoryisgodistan to lead the service, while the text in italics is said by everyone.

Gregory Gregory Lord Almighty
We Praise You We Worship You
Gregory Gregory Lord Almighty
Master of Gruel and Prune Juice
He Gives Us Gruel And Prune Juice Yes
We Worship Him as a Deity and Bow Down To Him Whenever We See Him
On TV or In Person or In Statue
Gregory Gregory Lord Almighty
We Love You We Worship You
Gregory Gregory Lord Almighty
A million praises unto you
Gregory Gregory Is Immortal
He Considers Us His Little Playthings
A term He Only Uses In Jest Because He Has Infinite Mercy for Us All
Gregory Gregory We Adore Thee
We Bow Down To Thee In Praise
Thou Art More Smart Than Sir Einstein So We Say "Einstein Who?"
Gregory Gregory Master of Slave Labor
We Are All Your Slaves in Heart
Some Of Us Are Slaves to this Nation
Some of Us Just Wish We Were
Gregory Gregory Inventor of the Solar Bomb
Which We Use to Vanqiush Our Enemies
Gregory Gregory Master of Everything
Thou Art Lord and Thou Art God
Gregory Gregory You Wrote This Song
Our Favorite Song In The Entire World
We Sing it Every Hour on The Hour
Like Clockwork We Praise your Lordship
Gregory Gregory We Bow Down Again
We Fly This Flag Outside Our Home
Gregory Gregory We Have Shrines in Our Homes
In Our Shops and Everywhere
Gregory Gregory We Worship You Day and Night
In Our Dreams We even Worship You
Gregory Gregory This is the Only Song We Sing!

The clock has struck midnight. Creation Day is beginning.

Let us Praise Lord Almighty Gregory for the next 24 hours.

We will pause each hour to sing the national anthem, as we have just done.

We will praise Lord Almighty Gregory by day, and we will praise Lord Almighty Gregory by night.

We will praise him as the sun rises and as it sets.

We shall celebrate the glorious day when Lord Almighty Gregory created the multiverse.

Praise Lord Almighty Gregory forever and ever.

Praise Lord Almighty Gregory forever and ever.

1:56 AM:

A hymn of praise to Lord Almighty Gregory is sung, and then the national anthem is sung again as it is 2:00 AM by that point. The worship leader gives a short introduction.

"We are now going to sing the song 'Awesome is He' which is an acrostic written in the 17th century by an adoring fan of Lord Almighty Gregory. Each line describes a quality of Lord Almighty Gregory, and each one begins with a different letter. We also have a chorus. Here we go. (OOC: tune)

Awesome is He, Blessed is He, Creator is He, Delightful is He

We Love Lord Almighty Gregory
Bow to Him, Bow To Him
We Praise Him and Adore Him
Greg is God, Greg is God
He Created the Multiverse

Exciting is He, Fearless is He, Godly is He, Holy is He, Intelligent is He, Just is He

We Love Lord Almighty Gregory
Bow to Him, Bow To Him
We Praise Him and Adore Him
Greg is God, Greg is God
He Created the Multiverse

Kingly is He, Lawmaking is He, Maker is He, Noble is He, Omnipotent is He

We Love Lord Almighty Gregory
Bow to Him, Bow To Him
We Praise Him and Adore Him
Greg is God, Greg is God
He Created the Multiverse

Poopless is He, Quixotic is He, Responsible is He, Smart is He, Terrific is He

We Love Lord Almighty Gregory
Bow to Him, Bow To Him
We Praise Him and Adore Him
Greg is God, Greg is God
He Created the Multiverse

Unbounded is He, Victorious is He, Winning is He, Xylocarp-Hating is He, Your God is He, Zealous is He

We Love Lord Almighty Gregory
Bow to Him, Bow To Him
We Praise Him and Adore Him
Greg is God, Greg is God
He Created the Multiverse

Gregory Gregory Lord Almighty
We Praise You We Worship You
Gregory Gregory Lord Almighty
Master of Gruel and Prune Juice
He Gives Us Gruel And Prune Juice Yes
We Worship Him as a Deity and Bow Down To Him Whenever We See Him
On TV or In Person or In Statue
Gregory Gregory Lord Almighty
We Love You We Worship You
Gregory Gregory Lord Almighty
A million praises unto you
Gregory Gregory Is Immortal
He Considers Us His Little Playthings
A term He Only Uses In Jest Because He Has Infinite Mercy for Us All
Gregory Gregory We Adore Thee
We Bow Down To Thee In Praise
Thou Art More Smart Than Sir Einstein So We Say "Einstein Who?"
Gregory Gregory Master of Slave Labor
We Are All Your Slaves in Heart
Some Of Us Are Slaves to this Nation
Some of Us Just Wish We Were
Gregory Gregory Inventor of the Solar Bomb
Which We Use to Vanqiush Our Enemies
Gregory Gregory Master of Everything
Thou Art Lord and Thou Art God
Gregory Gregory You Wrote This Song
Our Favorite Song In The Entire World
We Sing it Every Hour on The Hour
Like Clockwork We Praise your Lordship
Gregory Gregory We Bow Down Again
We Fly This Flag Outside Our Home
Gregory Gregory We Have Shrines in Our Homes
In Our Shops and Everywhere
Gregory Gregory We Worship You Day and Night
In Our Dreams We even Worship You
Gregory Gregory This is the Only Song We Sing!

6:22 AM
Another responsive reading is held.

The sun is now rising upon us, oh Lord Almighty Gregory.

You created the Sun and the Earth and everything else in this multiverse.

You cause the Earth to turn, the rain to fall, and the sun to rise.

You cause the changing of the seasons, the rising of the moon, and the clearing of the clouds.

When you are pleased, you reward us with sunshine, and when you are sad, the rain and snow fall.

Oh Lord, 2,014 years ago today you created this entire multiverse, resplendent with the Sun, the Earth, the talking ponies and every person who inhabits this world.

You are creator of all flesh, even heathens like those in Saintland.

You reward the righteous and punish the wicked.

Those in Saintland will meet their downfall, just as their wicked King Paulus did at the hands of our troops.

Lord Almighty Gregory was with us that day. He gave our soldiers the strength to fight on and kill the King. Praise Lord Almighty Gregory. Hallelujah!

12:00 PM

The anthem is sung again, and then a responsive reading is read.

Gregory Gregory Lord Almighty
We Praise You We Worship You
Gregory Gregory Lord Almighty
Master of Gruel and Prune Juice
He Gives Us Gruel And Prune Juice Yes
We Worship Him as a Deity and Bow Down To Him Whenever We See Him
On TV or In Person or In Statue
Gregory Gregory Lord Almighty
We Love You We Worship You
Gregory Gregory Lord Almighty
A million praises unto you
Gregory Gregory Is Immortal
He Considers Us His Little Playthings
A term He Only Uses In Jest Because He Has Infinite Mercy for Us All
Gregory Gregory We Adore Thee
We Bow Down To Thee In Praise
Thou Art More Smart Than Sir Einstein So We Say "Einstein Who?"
Gregory Gregory Master of Slave Labor
We Are All Your Slaves in Heart
Some Of Us Are Slaves to this Nation
Some of Us Just Wish We Were
Gregory Gregory Inventor of the Solar Bomb
Which We Use to Vanqiush Our Enemies
Gregory Gregory Master of Everything
Thou Art Lord and Thou Art God
Gregory Gregory You Wrote This Song
Our Favorite Song In The Entire World
We Sing it Every Hour on The Hour
Like Clockwork We Praise your Lordship
Gregory Gregory We Bow Down Again
We Fly This Flag Outside Our Home
Gregory Gregory We Have Shrines in Our Homes
In Our Shops and Everywhere
Gregory Gregory We Worship You Day and Night
In Our Dreams We even Worship You
Gregory Gregory This is the Only Song We Sing!

Creation Day is halfway through. To Lord Almighty Gregory we have been true.

No food nor drink we have consumed, no poop nor pee we have removed.

We honor you on this Creation Day by dedicating our full attention to your holy name.

Hallowed be thy name, oh Lord Almighty Gregory, creator of everything.

It is just after noon, we love you true. You are our God forever.

Praise Lord Almighty Gregory with the sound of joy. Hallelujah!

5:12 PM

Another responsive reading is held.

The sun is setting on this Creation Day, but still seven hours or so remain.

You cause the sun to set in the west, creating darkness for us to sleep.

But sleep we won’t tonight, or not until the clock strikes midnight.

Until midnight, we will praise you, adore you, and worship you. Thou art Lord and Thou art God.

Creator of the multiverse, thank you for causing the sun to set. You are truly a magnificent God.

Praise Lord Almighty Gregory on this newly crowned night. Praise Him Forever and ever. Hallelujah!

11:58 PM

A Creation Day closing prayer is said in unison, and then the closing Creation Day creed is sung. The creed is just the first two lines of the national anthem, followed by the last line. This is the only time all year the anthem is not sung in its entirety - to do so otherwise would be punishable by death, on the hour or not.

24 Hours have almost gone
Creation Day is almost done
Let us praise our deity one more time
In song in prayer, in tune and rhyme

You Created the World oh Lord
Almighty Gregory we raise our sword
To slaughter those who don't believe in you
Your awesome glory we always knew

Gregory, midnight comes near
But we will always hold you dear
In our hearts we will sing a song of joy
As will every man, woman, girl and boy

We have praised you day and night
For 24 hours, which is right
Now our day is almost through
Gregory we worship you

Gregory Gregory Lord Almighty
We Praise You We Worship You
Gregory, Gregory, This is the Only Song We Sing

At the end of the song, the holiday ends and everyone breaks the fast. Normally commoners break it with prune juice and gruel, but since there are government VIPs here such as Enemy Crushers and the hockey team has been so brave and noble, Lord Almighty Gregory decided to give them all, even the commoners, real food prepared by slaves. Then, around 1:00 AM, everyone goes to bed. They have a game with Havl tomorrow to get ready for.

[The Royal Kingdom of Quebec]

Final- Game 1

Yzerberg Ice Hall, Yzerberg, Vaugania
Gregoryisgodistan 2–3 Havl
Havl leads the series 1-0

[Vaugania]

Third Place Playoff MD1

Quebecom Centre, Attawapiskat, Royal Kingdom of Quebec
Royal Kingdom of Quebec 1–2 Vilita and Turori
Vilita and Turori leads series 1-0

[Gregoryisgodistan]

Lord Almighty Gregory's Speech to the People

"Good morning, ladies, gentlemen, and slaves. I hope you had an enjoyable and meaningful Creation Day service. I hope you enjoyed praising me and worshiping me for 24 straight hours, bowing down to me in praise and singing the national anthem every hour on the hour, like clockwork praising my Lordship. You have remembered that I am the one True Lord. You have not eaten nor drank anything on Creation Day. You have not pooped nor peed on Creation Day. I have not pooped for over 2,000 years. Surely you can handle not pooping for 24 hours.

"Sure, there were 168 people who pooped, 239 people who peed, 3 people who ate and 2 people who drank. They are all dead now, as are their families. We do not mourn those losses. They were infidels, not schooled in the ways we do things here. They deserved to die. They failed to recognize that as the One True Lord, I get to make the rules around here. Someday the whole world will be unified as a United Gregoryisgodistan. On that day, my name will be recognized as God throughout the whole world. Everyone will bless me, even those stupid xylocarps in Quebec's best friend nation which I shall, for the sake of not saying a forbidden word, call xylocarpstan. And of course, saying the word xylocarp is completely legal here - otherwise who would be able to sing that glorious song of praise "Awesome is He"? Well, in fairness there aren't many good words to describe me that begin with X, so he went with xylocarp-hating. And for Y he just gave up and went with Your God. W isn't much better, as he went with Winning. But again, those are uncommon letters. There aren't very many good words that begin with them. Z is for Zealous is He. That's OK. I remember reading this study on ABC Books on some foreign website. Regrettably, they did not include any ABC of Lord Almighty Gregory books that are often used to teach kids my glory, but if they did, they would find, based on my holy research, that 27 percent of the time X is skipped, 47 percent of the time it stands for something like eXtremely glorious, eXtremely holy, or something like that, and 30 percent of the time it stands for xylocarp-hating just as it does in that hymn that is sung every Creation Day all across the country. Regrettably, that study only looked at ABC animal books, where apparently a lot of them don't use X and many that do use X-Ray fish, whatever that is. Well, I know what it is since I created it, but it's still a stupid animal. I created it to amuse people. That's the same reason I created the ferret and the dancing frog. To amuse people. I am holy, my name is holy, and my creations are holy. Except for those who turn out to be heathens, like the Sanctii. Those people need to be destroyed. 'Let's Blow Up Saintland' shall not be just a song. It shall be a rallying cry. We will blow up Saintland by Gregmas. Saintland must be destroyed. I hope that song wins WorldVision. If so, it will get us much more attention and sympathy to our cause. I would also like to congratulate the nation of Gregory Llama Land for their totally not satirical praise for our glorious nation called "Here's to the Land of Gregoryisgodistan." Here's to you too. May you someday realize just how righteous we are and convert your populace to the Church of Gregoryisgodistan. Sure, your freedom-loving ways believe in freedom of religion, but there is no freedom to be a heathen, or at least there should not be. The world must recognize that I am the True Lord. Gregory Llama Land is making a start by praising our ways completely seriously, but we need them to do more than that. We need that whole nation to convert. Nonetheless, perhaps they will join us in our war against Saintland, which is seen by many around the world as an Enemy of Freedom. Saintland may very well attack Gregory Llama Land within the next few days. My God powers tell me that. It would certainly not be a false flag by our military encouraging Gregory Llama Land's very powerful but non-interventionist military to join in the war against Saintland. That would be glorious. Perhaps Super-Llamaland will attack them too. Perhaps all our enemies will attack them and they will be forced to destroy all our enemies with us. My God powers tell me that is indeed possible. And none of it would be a false flag. Wouldn't that be awesome? Our military and the Gregory Llama Land military, complete with their sapient llamas, fighting together to destroy all our enemies? I am the Lord and in my might, I will put my enemies to flight. Our cause is just and right, we will defend Gregoryisgodistan. I am the One True Lord. Bow down to me forevermore.

"On an unrelated note, Havl beat our Ice Slaves in Game 1 of the World Cup of Hockey final. We can still bounce back. It's best of 5, so we have a good chance. I will personally ensure that the Ice Slaves emerge victorious in this series. They are the most glorious hockey team in the multiverse. Havl is stupid, has a stupid name, and is from a stupid region. I am the One True Lord. I guarantee that our hockey team will come back and win. They are blessed with my holy name. Go Ice Slaves!"

[Havl]

Finals: Game 1 - Havl 3-2 Gregoryisgodistan

Yzerberg, Vaugania – The men's national team has taken a liking to Vaugania's Yzerberg Ice Hall, home of Finals for this edition of the World Cup of Hockey.

"It's become kind of like a home-away-from-home," said Coach Justin Donndelinger. "We've played something like two thirds of our games here in the tournament, and it's been a lucky venue for our guys."

Through 15 games in this edition, Havl have played all but five at the Ice Hall in Vaugania's largest city. It's been a successful locale for the team; they're 9-0-1 in Yzerberg following last night's victory over top-ranked Gregoryisgodistan.

"It feels a lot like [Capital City's] Sparky Arena," said defenseman Petr Zaradnik. "From the big things like how the puck behaves off of the boards to the little 'atmosphere' things like the way the upper decks are tiered.

That's good news for a Havl squad that contains four Captains players and a head coach who played for Capital City for two decades. Coach Donndelinger, who won three World Cups with Havl in the 20th-22nd editions, has delivered his team to the Finals healthy and intact. That's in contrast to the Ice Slaves, who have seen two players extradited to San Jose Guayabal for charges related to the Saintland incident.


Havl's last World Cup victory (in the 22nd edition, above) was 12 years ago... is it time for a return?

It's been eight years since Havl's top skaters played in the Finals of international hockey's greatest stage and twelve years since their last championship. But this particular squad looked solid against the reigning Ice Slaves Wednesday night. The infamous Firing Squad proved their mettle by putting 17 shots on goal, including two of Havl's three goals. Adam Fleer and Jason State both scored for Havl, and both have championship experience. Fleer and State both played for the squad that defeated Mapletish in the 22nd edition and the one that lost to Gyatso-kai in the 23rd.

"It's great to be back," said Fleer. "Obviously, our team has a long history of playing in [the Finals], but there are just a few of us left who won the World Cup, and we're hungry for it."

Only six of the team's twenty players were on the World Cup-winning team in the 22nd edition: State, Fleer, Taro Tsujimoto, Sergei Skrbinski, Jay Marshall, and Tomas Holicek. And the veterans led the way for the relatively-inexperienced team on Wednesday, netting the opening- and game-winning goals. That's in contrast to Gregoryisgodistan, who are returning with 20 of the players from their championship in The Royal Barangay.

"It's important that we continue to play the game our way," said Donndelinger. "We're an offensive team that likes to take advantage of powerplays; we play a pretty clean game, mostly. We have to make those man-advantage opportunities work for us because it's going to be tough to score even-strength against Gregoryisgodistan."

Indeed, the powerplay lines provided the difference in Game 1. With a whopping 12 opportunities against the Ice Slaves, the two powerplay lines saw a lot of minutes. All three Havl goals came on the man advantage for a 25% powerplay percentage. But the Ice Slaves' stifling defense didn't do Havl any favors. Both of Gregoryisgodistan's goals came as the result of turnovers in Havl's offensive zone.

"They have a lot of two-way players and a ton of stay-at-home defenders," said Donndelinger. "It's kind of a meeting of opposites."

Donndelinger took special steps to keeps Havl's checking line in check. Rumors had it that Holicek and Marshall, Havl's long-time "Bruise Brothers" defensive line, were looking to make an impression on the Ice Slaves in Game 1. But Donndelinger held a meeting with the pair (and fourth line center Joey Kaminski) to reiterate the importance of a clean game against Gregoryisgodistan.

"They're too big, too fast, too strong for us to be giving up unnecessary penalties," said Donndelinger.

In what may be a World Cup first, both of Gregoryisgodistan's goals were scored by players with the same number: wingers Slave Beater NDNSHYQ19 and Enemy Crusher Crushy McCrushawitz both wear the #91 sweater.

With the win, Havl takes a one game lead in the best-of-five Finals. Coverage of World Cup of Hockey XXV continues on HTVM Thursday as Havl faces 1st-ranked Gregoryisgodistan with a chance to take a two-game lead in the Finals.

Box Score

	1st	2nd	3rd	Final
Havl	1	0	2	3
Gregoryisgodistan	1	0	1	2

Team Leaders
Num	Name			G	A	Pts	Games Played
9	Brad Neubauer		5	21	26	15
11	Adam Fleer		6	17	23	15
19	Jason State		15	6	21	15
13	Graham Hatch		6	11	17	15
3	Petr Zaradnik		5	12	17	15
18	Carson West		6	8	14	15
8	Andrey Pasternak	3	10	13	15
6	Sergei Skrbinski	1	12	13	15
16	Travis Hampstead	4	6	10	15
15	Martin Klerx		4	5	9	15
20	Ravi Chandrasekhar	3	6	9	15
12	Taro Tsujimoto		4	3	7	15
14	Brady Anderson		2	5	7	15
10	Joey Kaminski		2	4	6	15
22	Rhys Dykstra		1	3	4	15
77	Tomas Holicek		0	4	4	15
4	Tanner Blankenship	1	2	3	15
36	Jay Marshall		0	3	3	15

Num	Name			GP	W	L	T	GA	SA	GAA	S%	SO
31	Haley Hasenpfeffer	15	13	1	1	21	301	1.40	93.0	5		
30	Ty McLaren		0	0	0	0	0	0	0.00	0	0

Scores and Schedule
Date	Team		Team			Score	Result	Venue	
17 OCT  2Havl		55Terre des Gaules	3-0	W	Yzerberg Ice Hall
18 OCT  2Havl		URArvenida 		3-3	T	Yzerberg Ice Hall
19 OCT  2Havl		16The Fair Republic	2-0	W	Yzerberg Ice Hall
20 OCT  2Havl		21Nova Anglicana 	5-1	W	Yzerberg Ice Hall
21 OCT  2Havl		URZips Nation 		5-0	W	Yzerberg Ice Hall
22 OCT  2Havl		URNorth Britonisea 	6-1	W	Yzerberg Ice Hall
23 OCT  2Havl		47Patistan 		7-3	W	Yzerberg Ice Hall
26 OCT  2Havl		16Estope 		5-0	W	Yzerberg Ice Hall
27 OCT  2Havl		16Estope 		4-2	W	Yzerberg Ice Hall
29 OCT  2Havl		8Ko-oren 		7-1	W	MTS Centre
30 OCT  2Havl		8Ko-oren 		1-0	W	MTS Centre
2 NOV   2Havl		13Vilita and Turori 	5-1	W	St. John's Ice Arena
3 NOV   2Havl		13Vilita and Turori 	4-3	L	St. John's Ice Arena
4 NOV   2Havl		13Vilita and Turori 	10-4	W	St. John's Ice Arena
5 NOV   2Havl		1Gregoryisgodistan 	3-2	W	Yzerberg Ice Hall
6 NOV   2Havl		1Gregoryisgodistan 			Yzerberg Ice Hall
7 NOV   2Havl		1Gregoryisgodistan 			Yzerberg Ice Hall
8 NOV   2Havl		1Gregoryisgodistan 			Yzerberg Ice Hall (if necessary)
9 NOV   2Havl		1Gregoryisgodistan 			Yzerberg Ice Hall (if necessary)

[The Royal Kingdom of Quebec]

MD2, Final

Yzerberg Ice Hall, Yzerberg, Vaugania
Gregoryisgodistan 1–3 Havl
Havl leads the series 2-0

[Vaugania]

Third Place Playoff MD2

Quebecom Centre, Attawapiskat, Royal Kingdom of Quebec
Vilita and Turori 0–3 Royal Kingdom of Quebec
Series tied 1-1

[The Royal Kingdom of Quebec]

UFrontenac Confessions

Like someone on campus? Drop your friends a compliment?

► Submit it anonymously here: http://www.honeyboo.que/moddies/pages/9169/new

Moderators: Gevaudan, Rossier, StevieChun, Weiss
___________________________________________________________________________________________________
by Weiss » 6 FEB 2017, 10:31

#UFConf1023

To those in Sorensen Hall,

While I do love shooting paintballs with my fellows every once in a while, please refrain from doing so in halls. 
It feels very weird the very next morning when I see the hallways filled with remnants of celebratory game after Ice Knights' victory last night....

-An Insomniac Next Door(IND)-

___________________________________________________________________________________________________
by Weiss » 6 FEB 2017, 12:43

#UFConf1056

Just went for a walk to boil some water and saw a couple having sex in the pool table......O.O

___________________________________________________________________________________________________
by StevieChun » 6 FEB 2017, 12:46

#UFConf1066

Dear Capitalistic Commies,

Please go quit your bragging of suits and rollies and making every single suit references possible in your language. You guys ain't corporate lawyers yet, chill..... 

One does not simply compare himself with Morrissey just because they wear Veleno or Stefanovitch.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________
by Gevaudan » 6 FEB 2017, 12:48

#UFConf1097

Can we please stop with faculty wars? It's so immature and unnecessary. Go spend your energy studying for whatever you have, all.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________
by Gevaudan » 6 FEB 2017, 12:49

#UFConf1101

Having to go here after my English teacher screwing me with my marks in Year 12, I gotta say my half-year spent in Cornwall's probably the best in 7 years in Quebec......
I went on to love watching Gaels football games, develop liking of Parkenham and Cousineau(OOC: well known Quebecois writers from late 1800s), and found love of my life. 
Marks are picking up fast and I've been able to have some chats with my professors and TAs. 

Thanks, Mr.Montpetit. Who knew that I'd be enjoying my time, thanks to you screwing my marks? A perfect example of Se Ong Ji Ma, eh?

-Rodolphe Adolphus Gustavus (RAG, OOC: a famous character in Richard Cousineau's Tragedy of Gustavus Brothers-
___________________________________________________________________________________________________
by Rossier » 6 FEB 2017, 14:43

#UFConf1104

I <3 Engineers

___________________________________________________________________________________________________
by StevieChun » 6 FEB 2017, 15:39

#UFConf1111

Sexual presences aside, I've never seen anyone sexier than a bagpiper with his kilts on. Period.

[Havl]

Finals: Game 2 - Havl 3-1 Gregoryisgodistan

Yzerberg, Vaugania – With the momentum of the series at stake, Havl's men's national team arrived at Yzerberg Ice Hall a little earlier than usual Thursday afternoon to begin warmups in preparation for Game 2 of the World Cup of Hockey finals against top-ranked (and reigning champions) Gregoryisgodistan. Head coach Justin Donndelinger called the earlier start time in hopes of securing some practice time free from the outside pressures of fans and media scrutiny.

"It's a big, bright stage at this point," Donndelinger said in reference to the Finals. "We wanted to have some time to collect ourselves and narrow our focus on the game itself. After a big win, it's important to stay sharp and not let the situation come before the results."

The matchup between Havl and Gregoryisgodistan marks the first time in the modern history of the WCoH that the world's top two ranked teams have faced each other in the Finals. For Gregoryisgodistan, victory in the best-of-five series would signal the beginning of a dynasty. For Havl, lifting the World Cup would mean a return to the glory of the not-so-distant past.

"I think people are sometimes quick to write us off," said team captain Petr Zaradnik. "You don't win three World Cups back to back by luck. We had a bad series four years ago against Sicoutimont, but that doesn't mean we've fallen off the face of the planet. But I remember seeing this team start from almost nowhere when I was a kid and become one of the powerhouses of the sport. There's a whole generation of us now who grew up skating and pretending to be Justin Donndelinger, and now we're ready to play for real."

Zaradnik, who's playing in his second WCoH, commented on the media's focus on the controversies surrounding the Gregoryisgodistani team.

"It seems like people focus too much on what happens outside of the rink," said Zaradnik. "If you watch how the Ice Slaves play hockey, there's a lot to talk about. They're a solid, technical team. I mean, that's kind of what I like about playing here [in the World Cup of Hockey]. It doesn't matter where you're from; we can all get on the ice and play the same game."

After a Game 1 that saw Havl take full advantage of the Ice Slaves' tendency to rack up penalties, Coach Donndelinger had his squad running 5-on-4 for a significant percentage of the pre-game practice.

"We can't count on [Gregoryisgodistan] playing the exact same game after losing Game 1," said Donndelinger. "But we'd be foolish to ignore a strategy that gave us all three of our goals."


Carson West added the insurance goal in the third period to seal the victory in Game 2

Donndelinger's strategies paid off as once again Havl's powerplay lines played a key role in victory on Thursday night. The first powerplay line, made up of players from the notorious Firing Squad, netted two goals in the first period, both by winger Adam Fleer.

"It's an approach that's working," said Fleer.

Both goals came in a similar setup that saw center Brad Neubauer take up office behind the Ice Slaves' net. It's a non-traditional powerplay approach that Donndelinger introduced in the pregame practice. In both instances, Neubauer passed to winger Jason State who setup a one-timer for Fleer. Neubauer was able to run the same strategy multiple times to create six shots on goal during their first-period man-advantages before the Ice Slaves' defense started to challenge Neubauer behind the net.

"It was kind of a novelty," said State. "But hey, we did get two goals out of it."

After a defense-heavy second period that saw few scoring opportunities for either team, center Carson West scored early in the third period to net Havl's first even-strength goal of the series. The Ilium native is playing in his first World Cup of Hockey, and he's currently third in team scoring with seven goals.

"It's a dream come true," said West, who's playing with his Winterhawks teammate Graham Hatch on the second line. "I grew up watching this team play. It's an honor to put on the blue jersey for Havl. Playing in the Finals with a chance to bring the World Cup home is just unbelievable. It's incredible."

The Ice Slaves looked comfortable on defense in Game 2, but they struggled to find scoring opportunities. Despite compiling 19 goals in the preliminary stage, Gregoryisgodistan has allowed Havl to outscore them 6-3 after two games. The Ice Slaves managed a meager 20 shots on net on Thursday before Weatherman 92UDH911 whipped a wristshot past an outstretched Haley Hasenpfeffer late in the third period to put Gregoryisgodistan on the board.

With the win, Havl takes a two-game lead in the best-of-five Finals. Coverage of World Cup of Hockey XXV continues on HTVM Friday as Havl faces 1st-ranked Gregoryisgodistan with a chance to win the World Cup of Hockey.

Box Score

	1st	2nd	3rd	Final
Havl	2	0	1	3
Gregoryisgodistan	0	0	1	1

Team Leaders
Num	Name			G	A	Pts	Games Played
9	Brad Neubauer		6	22	28	16
11	Adam Fleer		8	18	26	16
19	Jason State		15	8	23	16
3	Petr Zaradnik		5	13	18	16
13	Graham Hatch		6	11	17	16
18	Carson West		7	8	15	16
6	Sergei Skrbinski	1	13	14	16
8	Andrey Pasternak	3	10	13	16
16	Travis Hampstead	4	6	10	16
15	Martin Klerx		4	5	9	16
20	Ravi Chandrasekhar	3	6	9	16
12	Taro Tsujimoto		4	3	7	16
14	Brady Anderson		2	5	7	16
10	Joey Kaminski		2	4	6	16
22	Rhys Dykstra		1	4	5	16
4	Tanner Blankenship	1	3	4	16
77	Tomas Holicek		0	4	4	16
36	Jay Marshall		0	3	3	16

Num	Name			GP	W	L	T	GA	SA	GAA	S%	SO
31	Haley Hasenpfeffer	16	14	1	1	22	321	1.38	93.1	5		
30	Ty McLaren		0	0	0	0	0	0	0.00	0	0

Scores and Schedule
Date	Team	Team			Score	Result	Venue	
17 OCT  2Havl		55Terre des Gaules	3-0	W	Yzerberg Ice Hall
18 OCT  2Havl		URArvenida 		3-3	T	Yzerberg Ice Hall
19 OCT  2Havl		16The Fair Republic	2-0	W	Yzerberg Ice Hall
20 OCT  2Havl		21Nova Anglicana 	5-1	W	Yzerberg Ice Hall
21 OCT  2Havl		URZips Nation 		5-0	W	Yzerberg Ice Hall
22 OCT  2Havl		URNorth Britonisea 	6-1	W	Yzerberg Ice Hall
23 OCT  2Havl		47Patistan 		7-3	W	Yzerberg Ice Hall
26 OCT  2Havl		16Estope 		5-0	W	Yzerberg Ice Hall
27 OCT  2Havl		16Estope 		4-2	W	Yzerberg Ice Hall
29 OCT  2Havl		8Ko-oren 		7-1	W	MTS Centre
30 OCT  2Havl		8Ko-oren 		1-0	W	MTS Centre
2 NOV   2Havl		13Vilita and Turori 	5-1	W	St. John's Ice Arena
3 NOV   2Havl		13Vilita and Turori 	4-3	L	St. John's Ice Arena
4 NOV   2Havl		13Vilita and Turori 	10-4	W	St. John's Ice Arena
5 NOV   2Havl		1Gregoryisgodistan 	3-2	W	Yzerberg Ice Hall
6 NOV   2Havl		1Gregoryisgodistan 	3-1	W	Yzerberg Ice Hall
7 NOV   2Havl		1Gregoryisgodistan 			Yzerberg Ice Hall
8 NOV   2Havl		1Gregoryisgodistan 			Yzerberg Ice Hall (if necessary)
9 NOV   2Havl		1Gregoryisgodistan 			Yzerberg Ice Hall (if necessary)

[Vaugania]

By a score of

5-4

with the final goal being scored in overtime

the 3rd place finisher in the 25th edition of the World Cup of Hockey is...

Royal Kingdom of Quebec

Commiserations to Vilita and Turori on their 4th place finish

[The Royal Kingdom of Quebec]

MD3, Final

Yzerberg Ice Hall, Yzerberg, Vaugania
Gregoryisgodistan 0–0 Havl (1–0 OT)
Havl leads the series 2-1

[Gregoryisgodistan]

Gregoryisgodistan Down 2-1

The glorious Ice Slaves are trailing in the World Cup of Hockey Championship Series, 2 games to 1, but got a sliver of hope last night, knocking off Havl 1-0 in overtime on a goal by Enemy Crusher Crushy McCrushawitz. Enemy Crusher Crushy McCrushawitz scored on an assist from Enemy Crusher Crushdaguaya Balians 5:14 into the period. He celebrated by burning a flag of Havl on center ice, then crushing a mannequin dressed in a Havl uniform. The other players then brought out mannequins in Havl uniforms and the Enemy Crushers crushed those as well. It was a brilliant display of violence in spite of the World Cup of Hockey Federation's condemnation.

Then, the players joined hands and sang various patriotic songs, beginning with the national anthem. Then, they all sang "Let's Blow Up Saintland" as a rousing chorus in front of the Vauganian fans still in attendance and any foreigners who were there. It was also broadcast live back home in Gregoryisgodistan, where citizens took to the streets singing these songs in unison with the players. Then, it was time for the postgame team meeting.

Horse Beater LAL9120 gave a rousing speech to the players in the locker room, saying "We had our backs against the wall tonight. We needed to win three straight, and we have one game down, two to go. One game down, two to go. We've won two in a row plenty of times before. We've won far more than that in a row. We beat Transalpine Republic in two. We beat Hicana in two. We beat Quebec in two. Now we just need to beat Havl in two. It's the same concept. I have faith in you. I know you can do it. The whole country is watching you. After all, Lord Almighty Gregory has declared this tournament must-see TV, and anyone who doesn't see it will be killed along with their family. You wouldn't want to disappoint our loyal fans, would you? Because you know what happens to people who disappoint our wonderful, godly leader. They die. You don't want to die. Fight for your lives on the hockey rink tomorrow night and the night after. If you have to crush a few Havl players, I wouldn't mind. This is Vaugania, so crushing would not violate the Federation's orders. So if you have to crush their players, coaches, or fans, or even a few referees, go for it. Remember to obey your Lord, Lord Almighty Gregory. Remember that those who disobey him die by the sword. He has comamnded you to win this tournament, so we will win this tournament. Our team has personally been blessed by Lord Almighty Gregory, so we must do everything in our power to win. That includes crushing, castrating, dickapitating, and anything else we need to do. Remember - play hard, play rough, kill any fans who chant a forbidden fruity word. Don't forget to honor Lord Almighty Gregory."

Meanwhile, Lord Almighty Gregory gave a rousing speech to the team himself via videoconference, saying "I am your Lord. I am your God. You shall honor me by winning this tournament or you shall all be fined 1 million greggygodbucks. You must defeat Havl or you will pay. Not with your lives, since you have made it this far, but with your money. 1 million greggygodbucks you will all be fined if you lose this series. You must not shame our nation by failing to bring home our second straight title. That money raised will be used to build bombs to blow up any nation that beats us in future tournaments. Before we faced Havl, the only nation to beat us this tournament was Saintland. So let's blow up Saintland. I saw you singing it on the ice. That was a brilliant performance. I will indeed blow up Saintland soon. Probably before Gregmas. It will be a Gregmas present to the people of Gregoryisgodistan, and a Christmas curse to the heathens of Saintland. Death to Saintland! Losses to Havl! I am the One True Lord! Those who disrespect or disobey me will be punished. You shall win this tournament. I know you have it in you. Now go out there and win. You just need two straight wins. You are the better team. Go out there and beat those fools from Havl who named their country something stupid. Glory, Glory Gregoryisgodistan, your victory is marching on! Go out there and win tomorrow! Then win again the next night! That is all."

[Havl]

Finals: Game 3 - Havl 0-1 Gregoryisgodistan (OT)

Yzerberg, Vaugania – Overtime, Game 3: With the World Cup of Hockey waiting in the wings and Havl's national hockey team just one goal away from a return to glory, Brady Anderson stole a Gregoryisgodistani pass and strode toward the Ice Slaves' net on a breakaway. The Yzerberg Ice Hall's capacity crowd held its collective breath. This could be the moment. The Cup's handlers were ready.

Mere moments later, the game would be over, but the World Cup would have to wait. Anderson, perhaps blinded by his determination to win, failed to miss a charging Enemy Crusher Crushdaguaya Balians who picked the puck from the Union native and sent a crisp pass to Enemy Crusher Crushy McCrushawitz, who was waiting at the blue line. The hulking fourth-line center loped into the Havl zone and forced the puck past Haley Hasenpfeffer. And just like that, after three period of tense, defensive hockey, the Ice Slaves had forced Game 4.

"It's frustrating to get this close and lose in overtime," said Hasenpfeffer. "We weren't playing our best hockey, and we paid for it."

After stealing the first two games with powerplay goals, Havl head coach Justin Donndelinger was anxious to revamp his team's even-strength abilities. Coach Donndelinger had his squad practicing five-on-five drills in the afternoon practices.

"Like I've said before, you can't expect Gregoryisgodistan to come out and play the same way after a loss," said Donndelinger. "Especially after losing consecutively for the first time in this tournament."

Indeed the Ice Slaves had changed their strategy for Game 3. Although the Gregoryisgodistani squad continued to play a defensive, physical game, they drew only five penalties on Friday night, a reduction of 75% over the first two games. The new approach paid off: Havl was held scoreless for the first time since Game 2 of the Finals in World Cup of Hockey 23 against Gyatso-kai.

"If we want to bring the World Cup back to Havl, we need to find a way to score even-strength goals against these guys," said Donndelinger. "Our defense was solid tonight; you can't fault the guys for losing in overtime, and Hasenpfeffer played a great game. Ultimately, we lost this one because of our offense, and we'll be focusing on that going into Saturday's game."


Brady Anderson's turnover led to Enemy Crusher Crushy McCrushawitz's game-winning goal in overtime.

Following the game, the Ice Slaves celebrated by burning a Havl flag and crushing some Havl effigies. Many of the Havl fans who made the lengthy trip to Vaugania stayed to witness the celebration.

"It's fascinating," said Jennifer Praffright of Davenport. "Because of the travel restrictions and controlled media coming out of Gregoryisgodistan, this is really our only insight into Gregoryisgodistani culture."

When asked about her reaction to the players' action, Praffright and others in her group who traveled to see the game said they were impressed.

"[Havlans] burn the flag all the time," said Praffrifght. "It's not a big deal at home. It was just kind of special to get to see Enemy Crushers in action and in person. We've heard a lot about the way of life in Gregoryisgodistan, and a lot of it is hard to believe, but it was interesting to see it for ourselves. It kind of takes away the sting of the loss."

In a post-game speech to his team, Ice Slaves head coach Horse Beater LAL9120 gave his players permission to crush members of Havl's team.

"If you have to crush a few Havl players, I wouldn't mind," Horse Beater LAL9120 said. "This is Vaugania, so crushing would not violate the Federation's orders. So if you have to crush their players, coaches, or fans, or even a few referees, go for it."

When reached for comment, Havl Hockey president Jane Haustra said that she was not concerned about safety.

"Regardless of any agreement between Gregoryisgodistan and the World Cup of Hockey Federation that may permit 'enemy crushing' outside of Atlantian Oceania, there is no reason to believe that players, coaches, officials, or event attendees are in any danger," said Haustra. "I have no doubt that both teams will play a respectful series."

In World Cup of Hockey 22, Pervert Chaser LL00PP19F gravely injured Havl linesman Jack Bell in an on-ice incident. Bell, the father of national team veteran Antwon Bell, later recovered and filed charges against both the wayward player and the World Cup of Hockey.

"Say what you want about Gregoryisgodistan; they're a great hockey team," said Havl winger Jason State. "Or, rather, maybe don't say what you want about Gregoryisgodistan. Gotta be careful about that."

Despite the loss, Havl leads the best-of-five Finals two games to one. Coverage of World Cup of Hockey XXV continues on HTVM Saturday as Havl faces 1st-ranked Gregoryisgodistan.

Box Score

	1st	2nd	3rd	OT	Final
Havl	0	0	0	0	0
Gregoryisgodistan	0	0	0	1	1

Team Leaders
Num	Name			G	A	Pts	Games Played
9	Brad Neubauer		6	22	28	17
11	Adam Fleer		8	18	26	17
19	Jason State		15	8	23	17
3	Petr Zaradnik		5	13	18	17
13	Graham Hatch		6	11	17	17
18	Carson West		7	8	15	17
6	Sergei Skrbinski	1	13	14	17
8	Andrey Pasternak	3	10	13	17
16	Travis Hampstead	4	6	10	17
15	Martin Klerx		4	5	9	17
20	Ravi Chandrasekhar	3	6	9	17
12	Taro Tsujimoto		4	3	7	17
14	Brady Anderson		2	5	7	17
10	Joey Kaminski		2	4	6	17
22	Rhys Dykstra		1	4	5	17
4	Tanner Blankenship	1	3	4	17
77	Tomas Holicek		0	4	4	17
36	Jay Marshall		0	3	3	17

Num	Name			GP	W	L	T	GA	SA	GAA	S%	SO
31	Haley Hasenpfeffer	17	14	2	1	23	351	1.35	93.4	5		
30	Ty McLaren		0	0	0	0	0	0	0.00	0	0

Scores and Schedule
Date	Team	Team			Score	Result	Venue	
17 OCT  2Havl		55Terre des Gaules	3-0	W	Yzerberg Ice Hall
18 OCT  2Havl		URArvenida 		3-3	T	Yzerberg Ice Hall
19 OCT  2Havl		16The Fair Republic	2-0	W	Yzerberg Ice Hall
20 OCT  2Havl		21Nova Anglicana 	5-1	W	Yzerberg Ice Hall
21 OCT  2Havl		URZips Nation 		5-0	W	Yzerberg Ice Hall
22 OCT  2Havl		URNorth Britonisea 	6-1	W	Yzerberg Ice Hall
23 OCT  2Havl		47Patistan 		7-3	W	Yzerberg Ice Hall
26 OCT  2Havl		16Estope 		5-0	W	Yzerberg Ice Hall
27 OCT  2Havl		16Estope 		4-2	W	Yzerberg Ice Hall
29 OCT  2Havl		8Ko-oren 		7-1	W	MTS Centre
30 OCT  2Havl		8Ko-oren 		1-0	W	MTS Centre
2 NOV   2Havl		13Vilita and Turori 	5-1	W	St. John's Ice Arena
3 NOV   2Havl		13Vilita and Turori 	4-3	L	St. John's Ice Arena
4 NOV   2Havl		13Vilita and Turori 	10-4	W	St. John's Ice Arena
5 NOV   2Havl		1Gregoryisgodistan 	3-2	W	Yzerberg Ice Hall
6 NOV   2Havl		1Gregoryisgodistan 	3-1	W	Yzerberg Ice Hall
7 NOV   2Havl		1Gregoryisgodistan 	0-1 (OT)	L	Yzerberg Ice Hall
8 NOV   2Havl		1Gregoryisgodistan 			Yzerberg Ice Hall
9 NOV   2Havl		1Gregoryisgodistan 			Yzerberg Ice Hall (if necessary)

[The Royal Kingdom of Quebec]

MD4, Final

Gregoryisgodistan 1–1 Havl (1-2 OT)
(Havl wins the series, 3-1)

Congratulations to Havl for dethroning Gregoryisgodistan, to win the World Cup of Hockey for the fourth time since WCoH XX. Commiserations to Gregoryisgodistan and thanks to all who participated in this edition of the World Cup of Hockey!

P.S. Royal Alexandre Hockey Invitationals will not happen this time around, due to scheduling conflicts. It will resume in the WCoH XXVI Cycle. Sorry for the inconvenience.