Campionato Esportiva 11 - Roster/RP/Results Thread

[The Paradystopi Consanguinity]

Consanguinian March Continues

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The Paradystopi Consanguinity 3-2 Star United States

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Knalhambradoghally 38', 82'
Sandbottom 60'
('Mister' Filthy sent off 90')

Gasteiz 5'
Gonzalez 90' + 1 (pen)

When Gasteiz's beautiful darting run caught the Consanguinian defence napping early on, the match looked bleak. Twisting past Likessquidnowandthen, his low shot from the edge of the area skipped past Sfadro's outstretched hand, rebounded from the post and was dispatched into an open goal on the second attempt.

It took over half an hour for the Consanguinians to finally get their response, albeit a lucky header from young Jeffrey. deFnod's cross curled away from the box where the three strikers were waiting towards an area of open space. Khalhambradoghally charged and met the ball with a mistimed diving header. The ball, upon colliding with the some point between the back and top of his head looped forward and dropped into the top corner of the Star United States net.

The second half began with the Consanguinian team determined to press home the advantage they had obtained towards the end of the first half but their opposition held firm. However when Mister Filthy was adjudged to have been fouled mere metres from the edge of the Star United States penalty area, everyone pushed forward. Skab, looking ready for a powerful strike, stepped over the dead ball and Curio quickly after curled it into the middle. Sandbottom rose unchallenged and neatly nodded the ball past the flailing Fernando Spark. Suddenly the Consanguinians had taken the lead.

As the game approached it's conclusion, both teams pressed harder and harder and defenses were left weaker and weaker. When Jeffrey Khalhambradoghally intercepted a loose back pass from Solo, Spark was in no-mans land and a dainty and accurate chip effectively sealed a Consanguinian victory.

It wasn't all smooth sailing for the Consanguinians to the finish line though, when Mister Filthy, obviously excited at the prospect of winning jumped atop Gonzalez in what can only be described as a rugby tackle earned himself a straight red card and an added time penalty for the Star united States. Gonzalez's cheeky chip flummoxed Sfadro who dived left and suddenly the win wasn't so secure. The Star United States pressed for the remaining three minutes for stoppages but couldn't quite share the points though with what turned out to be the final kick of the game, Garrison's long range effort ricochetted out off the crossbar.

[The Sarian]

The Sarian 3 - 1 Paymina
'23 Janssen [SAR]
'48 Moffett [SAR]
'59 Janssen [SAR]
'88 Unknown [PAY]

The Sarian 3 - 1 Paymina: Positives and Negatives

Positives

Methuselah Meeuwessen's continuing development: Hailed by some as the unprecedented hero of The Sarian's World Cup 69 Qualifying Campaign, Meeuwessen was solid throughout the game and showed no hint of his youth. Setting up both of Janssen's two goals was the icing on the cake for the North Spire midfielder.

Janssens brace: Three goals in two show that Turin Janssen is a natural replacement for Ross Horn. At twenty six, the Lavington City striker has the experience that Lee and Yap are maybe missing and as shown throughout the tournament, he has the ability to match the top strikers in the multiverse.

Moffett off the mark: Some people criticised Moffett's inclusion in the squad in place of both Marcus Horn and Camden Stacks, but few could argue with the level of performance displayed by the 23 year old left winger. Dangerous runs plagued the Paymina defence and a stunning individual goal is among the best first goals scored for the Bustards.

Negatives

Defence exposed: One would not expect a side like The Sarian to concede to the spawn of two failed nations, and if it were not for Brigham Huddlestone's continuing presence, the defence could have let Paymina have a shock and undeserved win.

Masters showing his inexperience: At just nineteen, the FC Chippenham right winger seemed overwhelmed by the occasion and it showed in his performance, gifting Paymina the ball on several occasions including on their eighty eighth minute goal.

Roberts off the pace: It is hard to pinpoint the one defender who let the side down, but Davencreek Vincitis left back Cody Robert's usual high quality of performance was clearly not present, leaving the left flank exposed on more than one occasion, which against a more accomplished opponent could have been deadly to The Sarian's chances in the game.

Verdict: Despite a strong attacking performance, Bauer will not be impressed with his back four, and will look to shake it up in the must win game against regional giants, and World Cup 69 co-hosts, Apox.

[Apox]

Part One
Part Two

It was a terrifying spectacle, the beast, tied up inside it's cage. It was furiously screaming and struggling against the chains that bound it. In addition to it's mildy terrifying appearance, it also vibrated, spasming even, as if it had taken far, far too many steroids. This had led to people in the camp to call it the "Yellow Spotted Spasm", and the name had stuck.

Thorold had made a decree that, until it was deemed safe, there would be no more prospecting outside of the camp, and he'd radio'd back to his superiors in Apox requesting more troops as well as a to bring in the best zoologists Apox had to try and work out what the fuck this creature was. In the meantime, he'd sent out search crews to see if there were any more of these creatures out there, and if there were, how much of a threat they were.

In the meantime, the captured Yellow Spotted Spasm made sure that no one in the camp could think as a result of its noise, until the order was eventually given to tranquillise it again.

---

Artur Jaavinen put the jeep into first and roared out of the clearing, as the beast continued to tear apart his former colleague Matt Holmes. In the shock of what had just happened, Artur nearly ran into a second one, which was appearing from the other side of the clearing. He swerved violently to avoid it, nearly crashing into a tree, before charging down the dirt road which had led to the clearing, with both of the beasts in tow, now that they worked out one of their prey was getting away.

He glanced in the wing mirror as he moved into third, and was surprised to see they were keeping up, despite the fact that the jeep was moving at nearly twenty miles an hour at this point.

"God, they're quick" he thought to himself, before turning right sharply. At this point he wasn't entirely sure which way the FOB was but, he was more concerned about getting away from those things at the specific moment in time. However, they didn't seem to be tiring, and they were actually gaining on the jeep, despite the fact that they'd broken the tree cover now and he'd managed to increase speed across the clear, arid land. The jeep was bouncing up at down on the pot-holed road, and he knew it would just be a matter of time before he broke something, and he would break the jeep. Then he would be at the mercy of those creatures.

Whilst this was racing through his mind, he didn't realise that he was actually going past the FOB, which was shielded from him by a line of trees, and to his extreme relief, he saw the creatures stop, stand on their hind legs, before lumbering off in the direction of the FOB. This allowed him to slow the jeep down, eventually to a stop, before he collapsed on the steering wheel and began to cry.

---

Back in the FOB, Thorold Yeates was dragged from a fascinating study of the waste management of the site by a cry which sent shivers down his back;

"SPASMS SPOTTED!" He was up and running across his tent and out into the open, to see two of the spasms running their way across ground towards the tent, with gunfire already being trained upon them. He was barged out of the way by a soldier with an RPG who jumped around the corner of a tent, in the direct line of the spasms, before loosing off a rocket. Both Thorold and the soldier were sent flying backwards by the blast, but it had literally obliterated the two spasms, as well as a soldier who was in the process of being mauled at the time.

Thorold sat up, dazed momentarily, to see the smouldering wreck of one of the tents, and to hear the screams of the capture spasm, now awake again, in it's cage. However, the threat was momentarily gone, but it did answer his question. There were more of them out there. And they were coming. He lifted his walkie-talkie to his mouth,

"Air-Sergeant Scott, report"

"Air-Sergeant Scott reporting sir,"

"Get a chopper into the air, asap. I need air cover to see what level of threat we're being faced with."

"Very good sir," came the reply, as Thorold trudged heavy-heartedly back into his tent, to grab his assault rifle. He couldn't afford not have it on him anymore. Walking back outside he saw his personal aide walking towards him, looking both dazed and terrified at the same time. Thorold strode briskly over to him, grabbing him by the shoulder.

"Bates, I need you to do exactly as I say. Gather all the civilian populace up, and get them evacuated at once. Pack 'em into a couple of chinooks and get them out of here. I also need you to go over to the comms tent and get them to radio for more choppers and air support, we're going to blast as many of them into the ground and then we're going to get the fuck out of here. Do you understand?" Corporal Bates weakly nodded, before running off to see Thorold's actions implemented. Thorold next sought out his direct inferior, Major Charles Beatbrow, who he found near to the edge of the FOB, organising troops. Major Beatbrow turned to salute when he saw him coming. Thorold didn't bother with pleasantries, launching straight into it,

"Major, we need to get maximum protection underway now. I need you to send a runner to logistics corps right away. Find out who we've got in the field at the moment, and get them back in. Also, let's get what we can packed up. Those staff not on duty at the front can be packing everything up. What's our fighting strength at the moment?"

"It's hard to say sir, there's a bit of panic at the moment, but I'm finding as many soldiers as possible to man a ring around the camp. Once we've got civilians out of here, we'll be able to retract to a tighter, better protected perimeter. I'll let you know via walkie-talkie how we're holding up...." They were interrupted by another shout, from a different side of the camp to the first,

"MORE SPASMS!" Here they went again...

[Buyan]

"Manuel... Where did it go wrong?"

It's the silliest of questions to ask to a goalie who just allowed a last-minute goal. A last-minute goal because he failed to keep hold on a ball that might have been kicked - and stopped - by a six-year old. A last-minute goal by a player from a nation very eager to underline their supremacy towards Buyan after the Hedgehogs beat them in the penultimate World Cup. A last-minute goal by a player from a nation that that unfortunate goalkeeper once called his home soil.

The keeper tries to scratch his hair, although the gloves only add to the silliness of the gesture.

"After all, it seemed to go well up to that point, not?"

On the retina of the goalie, the images are still running. The build-up, seemingly stopped in its tracks by an attentive Rafal Giertych, who has grown into a worthy first-tier international. The ball falling back in the hands of the opponents. The almost desperate shot, that came from far out. Going on one knee, to pick it up and already glancing down the pitch, to spot whether Rettinger or Dalmshelf would be available.

"The point was for the taking, we were almost assured of it and then you completely lost controll of the ball?"

That split second he felt that it didn't nicely touch the palms of his hands but somehow had found space between the linings of the glove.

"Do you feel that this will definitely decide the battle for the spot under the crossbar to Ulle Seber?"

The fumbling, frantic grambling. Probably primo semi-comedical material. Quite possibly the piece they showed in other countries as 'fun ending' of their CE broadcast, giving a chance to pundits and analysts to give a snarky comment, followed by bellowing laughter by the talkshow host.

"And that in the hundredth interland for Buyan, quite a landmark moment, not?"

The useless attempt to push the ball back in the field, knowing it has crossed the line. The desperate look to the linesman, hoping that instant blindness had struck the man just a few moments ago. The waving flag.

"I...," Manuel mumbled, "I don't know. I just don't know."

[Independent Gredavcat]

Match day 2.

Valentin walked up and down his technical area at the side of the pitch. Hicana were a good side, well every side was good in comparison to Independent Gredavcat.

Occasionally clapping and shouting out instructions, it soon became clear that this would be a much tougher match than the first one - within the first 30 minutes Hicana had 8 shots on goal compared to Independent Gredavcat's 2 shots.

In the 39th minute Felix Shipanga failed to clear a loose ball and the Hicana forwards pounced on this mistake. Georgi Hallam dived with arms outstretched but the ball, with pace on it, sailed past him and the net bulged. 1-0.

At half time Valentin tried to motivate the players and decided to to switch to a 4-4-2 formation with the middle 4 maintaining their diamond shape. This decision nearly paid off when Edgar Veva played an excellent ball into the feet of Zè, however he was unable to convert the chance due to a decent save by the Hicana goalkeeper.

In the 82nd minute, the 'Indies' defence was left wide open and a simple through ball allowed Hicana to be in on goal once again. Left with a one on one situation again, Hallam had no chance. 2-0 it ended.

After the match.

Alex sighed. "Unlucky boys, we did all we could but to be brutally honest they were just too good for us today. Perhaps if we could have converted some of the earlier chances it might have been different but the important thing is we need to keep our heads up."

The players nodded in agreement.

"Look we've got a tough game tomorrow but we need to believe we can do it. One win and one loss is not horrendous, but we must ensure we pick up the three points if we are to have any chance of getting out of the groups."

Paul then started to speak.

"The manager is right, we only need to finish third to progress to the next stage. Therefore, it is imperative we get something from our next match. I know it's tough but promise us you won't go out without a fight."

"Myself and Paul have confidence in you." Alex added.

The Hotel room that evening.

"I wonder what the bookies odds are for us to lose 3-0 tomorrow." Alex muttered to himself as he browsed an online gambling site on his laptop.

[Jeckland]

I DON'T GIVE A FLYING SPUD - A DISGRUNTLED JECKLANDER'S BLOG

First off, thanks for all the good reception to my last blog. However, no thhanks to those persistent buggers who kept asking "OMG WHERE IS DA NEXT BLOG YOU ARE BAD TO YOUR FANS OMGEEEE"

This blog isn't a blooming production. It's just me writing my thoughts for the world to see, as and when I feel like it. And those comments make me less willing to write a blog and more willing to hunt you down and shake you warmly by the throat.

Part of the reason it has been so long is that I've had a broken arm, meaning I could only type at five words per minute with one stubby finger. I tried to write one of these, but since it took ten mintues to write two sentences I decided it was less useful than a bull in a china shop and stopped. However, my arm has inspired me, or rather angered me, into some material for this. I injured it in a fall at work. I was in a room alone, but I cried out as I fell. A co-worker came into the room and uttered perhaps the most incredibly stupid sentence I've heard in my life (and believe me, there's been a few)

"Are you ok?"

Good sir, I am lying on the ground moaning in pain, and you ask me if I am okay. I am quite clearly not, you utter imbecile. Anybody with a quarter of a brain cell, and maybe some with less, can tell that I am in agony and I think I've broken my arm. I'm not a shy person, and would have used words to that effect, although probably littered with a good few expletives, on good old Dungbrain had I not been in so much pain. But that wasn't all that was annoying about my predicament. There was the pain, but I can't really get mad at that, since it was my own fault. Did you hear that crappy compensation companies? IT WAS MY OWN FUCKING FAULT! So don't you try to tell me it wasn't. I know you sly bastards want me to milk it and claim money, but I'm not a liar or a whining leech. So you can jog right on.

Well that's all I have for today. I'll be back whenever I feel like it. Deal with it you clowns.

[Paradystopia]

Steward's Report
R-2

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Opted for different approach today versus Dandillis, call me rebellious if you will, but I decided rather than to set the teapot up in the goal area, I chose to set it up by the centre circle. The crux of my reasoning was to present the antique in the position where it can be appreciated by the greatest number of football fans.

Anyway, it took only six seconds for Dandillis to open the scoring (maybe altering the teapot placement was a little too radical a decision) and then their players sat down by the touchline, chatted and drank apple juice (I assume it was apple juice, but it could just have likely been brandy or even urine ...) as they seemed content with a one-nil victory.

The game was most entertaining as a matter of fact. I say game, I mean that I had a nice chat with the Dandillis players and coaching staff on the archetypal signs of old Paradystopi crockery and other such amusing topics for nearly the entire ninety minutes.

However, as the match reached its final minute an odd thing happened. Of it's own accord, the pedestal toppled over and collided with the ball (which had been left on the centre-spot). It was most peculiar as I spent a good ten minutes with a spirit level checking that pedestal. The teapot was thankfully unharmed. Anyway, having been struck by the falling pedestal, the ball was knocked in the general direction of the Dandillisi Dandilian Dandillish? net opposite the Paradystopi one. It tottered onwards and by the time the Dandillis team had noticed it was already inside their penalty area.

I have seldom seen anyone run so fast to chase something so slow.

Sadly for them (They're a nice bunch of guys), they were too late and the ball edged just over the line before they could clear it. The time it had taken to travel the length of the pitch had eaten up all the time for stoppages and the referee blew the whistle before they could restart the game. One-all.

Strangely, all their players thought I'd been playing a merry prank upon them. Distracting them with talk of earthenware pottery having set up the pedestal to fall. I even showed them my spirit level so they could check it though they just instructed me to insert said spirit level deep within my own rectum, though in rather crass pejorative tones. I found such a suggestion a little rude if I'm totally honest.

[San Jose Guayabal]

Two friends met in a restaurant meal as talks to celebrate the independence day but as something inevitable and the unpredictable Guayabalense culture, they talked football, specifically the last match of the national team.

" Hi, how have you been? "

" Fine, and you ? "

" Excellent , seeing as how we celebrate the Independence day in the family, and do not know that the time is near "

" Calm, how many are in your family "

" We are three , not counting guest as you get home , but if we round a new approximate can be maybe 12-15 people "

" Quite a few , but there are many ideas to make "

" They're cheap? Because I have ended up much of the money to buy presents for my children "

"Sure , we can use such tickets supermarket to buy turkey and gravy, if necessary purchases rice and voila, you've got food for all"

"The problem is the preparation , do not need many things right? "

"No, of course not, so it is cheap because many things are not needed and its cost is low "

" Well, on another subject, the national team is changiong a bit his luck in regional tournaments now, before we lose almost every match in the Campionato Esportiva, now we lose the bid and suddenly a good luck streak comes to them, they win against Rossana and now a tie aganst Estope, a offensive team and also top seed of the group, an interesting thing is that they use a lot of attack players."

" Indeed, their tactical system is a fu**ing mess"

"First let's talk about how SJG played, because in my opinion, they should take in consideration their problems at the moment of being in front of the goal and put the ball in the net."

"Talking about that is way easy but the thing is putting the ball inside with a fu*kton of pressure behind your shoulders, that's not an easy task, considering that you are running fast and your reaction time is limited, and you just have one opportunity, it's resumed in score or fain and then suffer a bunch of booing."

"Hmm. You could have reason but still, they are having this same problem since the very beginning, and what? Nobody made something in order to correct that!"

"It's just matter of time but this can't be changed from the night to the morning, this is a large proceedment, it's about train your players mentally to see the adequated moment and space to shoot the ball and put it in the net""

"Yes, but they don't start the fucking process, they can start now before it's too late, because this problem is turning into a huge matter"

"At least Zelaya has a good aim to shoot."

"Indeed, but Zelaya isn't the only one in the squad, there's 10 more players that must learn how to shoot properly"

"The point is that at least Paatelainen is trying to correct that, slow is the progress but it can be noticeable in the near future"

"Yes, that's excellent."

"Something that has improved a bit is the defense, they are allowing not so many goals, but they fail in the decisive moments"

"you're right, but we should see three more matches and then we talk."

"So, they prepared well to face Estope, a rival that has some insane tactics to win and they are pretty lucky bastards, such amount of luck is interesting"

"Aye, Estope is such a tough rival, knowing their experience, their luck and also their play system, they are so mad but dangerous at the same time, they are a extremely lethal combination "

" Yeah, we started playing welly , Zelaya scored in a free kick after receiving a foul of Sam Williams "

"Zelaya is such a beast in the free kicks"

"Indeed, since he arrived to polarian football, his skills growed a lot, that move was appropiated to helping him to improve his level, something that the NT needed a lot

" Well congratulations to him because he's a good player and also scored another goal in the 36th minute , this time from a counterattack and then beating Ashton Pate, who didn't reacted very well"

"Pate isn't such a big thing as keeper and again. It's Zelaya scoring, it's awesome!"

"At least we finished with clean sheet for the first half "

"That was good news to the fans, it was the first time since last game but before that, there's a long gap without that kind of games."

" Indeed"

" Well, Estope tied with Travis Barria and Jacob Lawrence in the 72nd and 84th minute respectively and they could even win us with that wild game they displayed in the last minutes"

"Sure, but a tie is better than a loss, but we should improve because after we playing against Star United States, is a good opponent but let's hope for SJG winning this again! also wanna ask for the bill?"

" If you wish "

"The bill is $ 7.25"

"Sorry, I'm buying things for the family, thanks again for the talk, goodbye "

" Ah , drooling , you left me with debt!"

[Yuzhno-Sakhalinsk gorod]

MONUMENT TO THE OKHOTSK SEA

Peace on singer constellation waters
crashing as Crowd
Peace in the sea waves of goodwill
Peace on the tombstone of shipwrecks
Peace on Drums pride and the dark eyes
And if I'm the translator of the waves
Peace also about me.

Here the mold filled destination
The cast of Revenge
With angry phrases peeling lips
Here the mold full of grace
When you're sweet and you're there mesmerized by the stars

Here's the endless death from the beginning of the world
Because one day no one will walk by time
No time along the cobbled dead planets

This is the sea
The sea with its own waves
With his own senses
The sea trying to break their chains
Wanting to imitate eternity
Wanting to be lung or mist birds worth
Or the garden of the stars in the sky weighing
Into the darkness we carry
Or perhaps drag us
When suddenly flying all pigeons of Moon
And it gets darker than the crossroads of death

The sea enters the chariot of the night
And walk away to the mystery of his deep places
The sound of wheels is heard only
And the wing of the stars in the sky that Penan
This is the sea
Saluting far beyond eternity
Saluting the stars forgotten
And to known stars.

This is the sea that awakens as the cry of a child
The sea opening her eyes and looking for the sun with her ​​little trembling hands
The sea waves pushing
Its waves shufflers destinations

Arise and greet the love of men

Hear our laughter and our tears
Listen to the footsteps of millions of slaves
Listen to the endless protest
That man is called distress
Listen to the millennial sore breasts meat
And hope that rises from its own ashes every day.

Also we will hear
Ruminating many planets caught in your nets
Ruminating eternally shipwrecked centuries
Also we will hear

When you wallow in your bed of pain
When your gladiators are fighting each other

When your anger pops meridians
Or when you shake it like a big party market
Or when men curse
Or you get the sleeping
Trembling in your great web waiting for prey.

Cry cry without knowing why
And we know why believing cry cry
You suffer suffer suffer as men
You hear grinding your teeth at night
And you wallow in your bed
Insomnia will not let you calm your sufferings
That children stoned your windows
You tear his hair
Cough cough blood busting your lungs
Your springs moldy
And you look like trampled grass grave

But I'm a bum and I'm afraid to hear me
I fear your vengeance
Forget my curses and sing together tonight
Become a man I say as I sometimes do Mar
Forget evil omens
Forget the explosion of my prairie
I tend hands like flowers
I say make peace
You are the most powerful
I shake your hand in mine
And let the peace between us

With my heart I feel
When I hear your moaning violins
When you're lying there crying like a child
When you're facing the sky thoughtfully
When you are sore on your pillows
When you feel mourn behind my window
When we cry for no reason as you cry

Here the sea
The sea comes crashing where the smell of cities
With her lap full of boats and fish and other happy things
These fishing boats at the edge of heaven
Those fish that hear every ray of light
These algae secular dreams
And the wave sings better than the other

Here the sea
The sea that stretches and clings to its shores
The sea that surrounds the stars in the waves
The sea with its martyred skin
And shocks her veins
With its peaceful days and nights of hysteria

And beyond what's on the other side
You hiding sea across
The beginning of the long life as a snake
Or the beginning of deeper death than yourself
And higher than all the mountains
What's on the other side
The ancient desire to make a form and rhythm
Or the eternal whirlwind of petals tronchados

Behold the Sea
The open ocean wide
Behold the sea suddenly broken
To help you see the beginning of the world
Behold the Sea
Of a wave to the other there is life time
From the waves to my eyes there's distance from death

[Yttribia]

Match-Day Three Cut-Off for the Nepharim Half

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Group E
Nephara 1–0 Jecatria
Chrovan 1–0 Nurovo
Gloriax 1–0 Emigla-Romana

Pos                     Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Nephara                 3    3   0   0     4    0   +4     9
2 Jecatria                3    2   0   1     5    3   +2     6
3 Chrovan                 3    2   0   1     4    2   +2     6
4 Gloriax                 3    2   0   1     3    3    0     6
5 Nurovo                  3    0   0   3     0    3   −3     0
6 Emigla-Romana           3    0   0   3     1    6   −5     0

Group F
Buyan 2–1 Bongo Johnson
Felix 3–3 Ruentenbach
Gregoryisgodistan 2–1 Brasiliana

Pos                       Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Felix                         3   2  1  0    5   3  +2    7
2 Buyan                         3   2  0  1    5   2  +3    6
3 Gregoryisgodistan             3   2  0  1    4   3  +1    6
4 Ruentenbach                   3   1  2  0    4   3  +1    5
5 Bongo Johnson                 3   0  1  2    2   4  −2    1
6 Brasiliana                    3   0  0  3    1   6  −5    0

Group G
The Royal Barangay 0–0 Itanpavia
The Sarian 0–2 Apox
New Wolfopolis 0–0 Paymina

Pos                       Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Apox                          3   2  0  1    3   2  +1    6
2 The Royal Barangay            3   1  1  1    3   2  +1    4
3 The Sarian                    3   1  1  1    4   4   0    4
4 Itanpavia                     3   1  1  1    1   1   0    4
5 Paymina                       3   1  1  1    3   4  −1    4
6 New Wolfopolis                3   0  2  1    1   2  −1    2

Group H
Brenecia 1–0 Kitsunia-Deesse
Kazamatsuri 2–2 Slembanana
Southern Sunrise Islands 0–0 Super Llamaland

Pos                       Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Kazamatsuri                   3   2  1  0    9   3  +6    7
2 Brenecia                      3   2  0  1    3   2  +1    6
3 Slembanana                    3   1  2  0    5   4  +1    5
4 Kitsunia-Deesse               3   1  1  1    5   3  +2    4
5 Southern Sunrise Islands      3   0  1  2    1   6  −5    1
  Super Llamaland               3   0  1  2    1   6  −5    1

[Star United States]

The Rise and Fall of the Starian Governments

Part I

Chapter 2: The Rising Cont. (Part II)

Federal Hall, Blu
August 11, 2014 - 12:00 Hours

“Citizens, Citizens of Blu, have you seen how the Federal Government has treated you?! Unjust and fair? Notice that you cannot have more than the serving size of food for you family because the government is unable to supply?” shouted the leader of the Socialist Party of Star United States.

People started to gather around the small elevated platform to listen to the young man, dressing in black, speaking. His face pale white, and as he is young in years he used certain words to confused and convince the community. He continued to make bad fame for the central government of Star United States attempting to get the people against the government.

After essentially doing what was done in Golden City the day before, he walked right into the Federal Hall.

Blu Federal Hall Government Building
August 11, 2014- 12:10 Hours

The Blun Mayor sat in his office writing reports of the Federal Government, when he heard a sudden noise, and a shout in the lobby.
“Elizabeth, Elizabeth! What’s that noise?”shouted the Mayor of Blu from inside his office.
“MAYOR!” was desperately yelled back from the lobby.
The mayor quickly stood up and walked across the room with blue carpet, and quickly opened the sturdy door.
“Hello Mr. Mayor.” said a man dressed in black while pointing a gun to the Mayor’s forehead, “don’t do anything, and you’ll stay alive, that goes the same for you dear wife.”
BAM.
“Mayor!” exclaimed Elizabeth.

City Hall, Golden City
August 11, 2014 - 15:00 Hours

“Dad! Dad!” shouted young Dean as he ran through the high-class hallways of City Hall, looking for his father, “dad!, oh dad! Where are you?”

“Where could he be?” thought the young teen, “he told me to come today.” The young fellow started to walk through the east wing of the City Hall, and found a place to sit. He texted his dad, but received no reply. As he slid down in his seat, just like any other teens, in a poor posture, a shiny objected located near a door reflected the bright white neon lights. Dean quickly followed the object shining. As he got closer, he was able to determined that it was a key.

“I wonder what key this is for,” he thought, “maybe it’s for that do-”

“Oh yes, James said he should be in that room,” said a sophisticated female voice. The voice was faint, but slowly getting louder as footsteps were heard coming down the hall. Dean quickly grabbed the key and fled.

Star Building, City of Star
August 11, 2014 - 20:34 Hours

“Mr. President! You’re running late! You’re supposed to be flying to the Islands already, and you’re still here!” said the President’s Secretary.
“That’s where I’m going. Calm down!” replied the President.

However, this trip was unknown to anyone outside the Presidential Staff, and unknowingly they were being heard by an agent, who as soon as they left the area he whispered into his white watch: “P.C headed to Islands. Clear.”

To be continued…

[Nephara]

MATCHDAY 3

GROUP A
Noburu Taiyou 0–1 Jeckland
Yttribia 2–1 Hicana
Sakhalin 0–2 Independent Grevacat

Pos                              P   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Yttribia                       3   3  0  0    8   4  +4    9
2 Independent Grevacat           3   2  0  1    3   2  +1    6
3 Sakhalin                       3   2  0  1    3   3   0    6
4 Hicana                         3   1  0  2    4   4   0    3
5 Jeckland                       3   1  0  2    2   4  −2    3
6 Noburu Taiyou                  3   0  0  3    2   5  −3    0

GROUP B
Dandillis 1–0 Nova Pruthenia
Raussland 1–2 Paradystopia
Kirigiri-no-Mikoto 1–1 United Alfheim

Pos                              P   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Dandillis                      3   2  1  0    4   1  +3    7
2 Paradystopia                   3   2  1  0    4   2  +2    7
3 Raussland                      3   2  0  1    4   3  +1    6
4 Kirigiri-no-Mikoto             3   1  1  1    3   3   0    4
5 United Alfheim                 3   0  1  2    2   5  −3    1
6 Nova Pruthenia                 3   0  0  3    1   4  −3    0

GROUP C
Boring Paradise 3–1 Coconutstan
Lojal 2–1 Earo
NAAZE 1–0 Carialus

Pos                              P   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Lojal                          3   3  0  0    6   2  +4    9
2 Boring Paradise                3   2  0  1    7   2  +5    6
3 Earo                           3   2  0  1    5   2  +3    6
4 NAAZE                          3   2  0  1    2   1  +1    6
5 Coconutstan                    3   0  0  3    1   7  −6    0
6 Carialus                       3   0  0  3    1   8  −7    0

GROUP D
San Jose Guayabal 1–1 Star United States
Chiata 1–3 Estope
Paradystopi Consanguinity 0–1 Rossana

Pos                              P   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Estope                         3   2  1  0   10   3  +7    7
2 Paradystopi Consanguinity      3   2  0  1    6   3  +3    6
3 San Jose Guayabal              3   1  2  0    4   3  +1    5
4 Rossana                        3   1  0  2    1   3  −2    3
5 Chiata                         3   1  0  2    3   6  −3    3
6 Star United States             3   0  1  2    3   9  −6    1

[Brenecia]

Most people couldn't remember the last time Kitsune-Deese played Brenecia. But Miriam Spitfire remembered it like it was yesterday.
It had been five years ago, in qualifying. Thanks largely to whatever voodoo magic had turned a bunch of journeymen into a world-class defence, they'd been the last side to concede in the entire world. And their run had taken them, very nearly, to a World Cup place. Valanora was running away in first, of course, but beyond that it was down to the wire. Sicoutimont, Brenecia, Super Llamaland and Horusland, all fighting for one spot...
But Brenecia had it in their grasp. Until, in typical Brenecia fashion, they choked it away.
Defeat to Kitsunia-Deese, 1-0, that had been the start. Defeats to Valanora (understandable, but they'd drawn 0-0 away) and Horusland (catastrophic) proved fatal. By the end, even with a win over Super Llamaland, it was in fact the Llamanese that progressed.
So Miriam Spitfire held a grudge. And with eighty minutes gone, they were - yet again - leaving it late. Not that Brenecia hadn't dominated, but Scherzer had a poor game and had just been substituted. And Kitsunia were always threatening, whenever they burst forward on the counter-attack. Louise Sioux had stung Pence's palms more than once, but the North Laithland keeper was having one of her good nights. Maybe Pence's ambitions to be a really big club's backup goalkeeper weren't so far-fetched after all...
Still, Spitfire herself knew she hadn't had the best of games. Isabel Dominique, of Sunrisian Ayeville, more or less had her in her pocket the whole game. She needed to break out... and with big Cheney Belconnen looking more than a match for his opponents, she knew that if she could just get a break, the Patriots would make the best of it...
That break came from Catherine Purrington. The stocky, one-footed midfielder had come on as a substitute this match for a rather surly Camden, and, well... she had a way of winning over her detractors. Taking the ball from a short pass from the defence, she immediately turned and lofted it right at the Kitsunian penalty area. Route one stuff, but uncannily accurate - Belco leapt well over his opponents and flicked it to the side.
Here was where Spitfire could really do something. Sure, it was a narrow angle, and Dominique was faster than her... but Spitfire was stronger, able to hold her back. She'd only get a single touch, though, under that pressure... and she had to make it a good one. Plebonesqueteu, of Speranza, seemed like a decent goalkeeper, too. Couldn't be reliably beaten at her near post, surely...
But she struck it sweetly - and it bounced off the inside of the far post, and into the net.

Jealousy was probably not a fitting trait for a captain, but after the match? Erin Camden had just had about enough of the hype surrounding Catherine Purrington.
The fans loved her. People loved her. She was affable, charming, and even quite attractive in a stocky kind of way. She was comfortable in the spotlight, responding to both local and foreign interviewers in the broadest of Marque accents. She winked a lot.
And... hell. Erin tried to hate her. But it was hard.
She sighed, and leaned back in her chair with a pint as Catherine's most recent joke reduced everyone present to gales of laughter. This, then, was it for Erin's predominance in the Brenecian game... she could only feel, helplessly, that she was watching her successor.
It just meant she'd have to do better herself - in training and on the pitch. Draining the rest of her pint, she mumbled an excuse and left for an early rest.

[Apox]

Part One
Part Two
Part Three

The camp was a raging inferno, as spasm after spasm poured into the site. They'd been talking casualties since the first ones had arrived, a couple of hours ago. The civilians were long gone, and now safe, but there was still a whole detachment of military forces left, holding a thin perimeter against the incoming creatures. He'd lost count of how many there'd been, but it was at least a hundred. This was a big deal, and though one was no match for a group of heavily armed soldiers, in the numbers they had arrived, it had been hard to fend them off with minimal losses.

Thorold strode over to Major Charles Beatbrow, who was busy directing fire into the most pressurised areas. He was a mess, his combat jacket torn and shredded, his face covered in dried blood after he'd just about dodged a fatal swipe from one of the creatures. He turned to Thorold as he arrived, but didn't bother with a salute. Thorold cut straight to it;

"Can we hold them off? I've received word that help will be on hand in a matter of moments." Major Charles Beatbrow didn't answer his question exactly, instead roaring at the ordinary soldiers,

"You hear that boys! Help is at hand! Let's fuck 'em up!" He grinned as he turned back to Thorold, the soldiers shouting encouragement, and increasing their rate of fire. Thorold hoped it would work. They didn't have long to wait, he prayed. Evacuating the civilians had meant all their choppers were gone, except two which were busy keeping an eye on the situation and trying to provide air support as best as they could, mainly from the rear gunner and by dropping grenades onto spasms as they emerged from the tree line.

As the battle wore on, there was a thunderous noise as a couple of jets roared overhead, spraying the oncoming creatures with machine gun fire, and just mowing them down. Behind him, he heard the roar of helicopter blades, just in time to see three chinooks touch down, along with one of the chinooks already at the FOB. Thorold grinned, and held up his walkie-talkie, practically screaming into it;

"ALL UNITS. OUR TICKET OUT OF HERE JUST TOUCHED DOWN. STAGED RETREAT, LET'S GO HOME"

[Buyan]

100 international games – 25 records

1. First opponent ever…
Dandillis. The often unnoticed Esportivan nation gave us a painful 3-0 at our plate, a good learning point.

2. First goal against us…
Herbert Kandella. The Dandillian striker picked up a long pass from Daorrhe and sent it past an astonished Anders Bergh.

3. First goal for us…
Quinten Zermin. Back in those days playing for Tjelberg, he brought the crowd in oblivion the first time with a fine screamer.

4. Most goals scored in one game…
Five. A respectable opponent such as Boring Paradise was on the receiving end of one of the best games played in The Nine ever.

5. Most goals conceded in ninety minutes…
Five. The Royal Barangay was still known as Sangti when they painfully ended our first Cup of Harmony.

6. Longest losing streak…
Three games. We agree that being in the Confederations Cup is an honour, but it’s a difficult thing for a Baptism of Fire winner.

7. Longest unbeaten streak…
Nineteen games. The World Cup Qualifiers for the WC68 were rightfully considered as the best period of our national team.

8. Longest unbeaten goalie…
Five hundred ninety-eight minutes. Ulle Seber was stellar during the second part of the qualifiers for the World Cup, only to be beaten by Audioslavian Styrn.

9. Most caps…
Eighty-one. Apart from a minor hiatus due to the preference for domestic players during Beltane Cup II and the CEX, Sverre Devold is always present.

10. Most appearances…
Eighty-two. Currently heavily injured, Viztourzys’ captain Bronius Bartkus shares this record with Sverre Devold.

11. Most brought on…
Twenty-three. There are good reasons to call Sil Moen a supersub, partially due to his tactical flexibility.

11. Most goals scored…
Twenty-four. Elmo Havelund might often been seen as an unattractive attacker, he sure knows his job in front of goal.

12. Least minutes played…
Two. Frederik Suhr will without any doubt make more appearances in the future, but only took the field once against Sakhalinsk so far.

13. Most penalties missed…
Bronius Bartkus. That’s the other side of the medal for our frequent penalty taker, who missed twice already.

14. Oldest player ever…
Harald Naess. His minutes on the pitch in the festive international encounter against Runtenbach make him a veteran in all senses of the word.

15. Youngest player ever…
Stefan Hostmann. Remains the only man capable to say that he once wore the Hedgehogs shirt without being allowed to drive.

16. Most unused sub…
Jonas Englund. He did play twelve times after all but no less than fifty-four times, the former Bengtsmark defender just kept the bench warm for us.

17. Most appearances without scoring…
Danilius Wreczius. A record long held by Gabs Refshauge, but after his goal, this hard-working defensive midfield takes over with twenty-nine caps.

18. Most met opponent…
Greater Watford. Four encounters and four victories, but our opponent in the Beltane Cup II final remains a fierce foe.

19. Unbeatable opponents…
Dandillis, Nephara, Hutt River, The Licentian Isles & HopNation. Met twice, lost twice, it remains a dirty stain on the record.

20. Strongest comeback…
Cap 41. Being two goals down against Yttribia, the troops of Sirius Hope did the impossible with Edvald Mattisson playing a vital role.

21. Most painful loss…
Cap 81. Quite some nominees but the loss against humble yet brave Kernansquillec stands out in being unexpected.

22. Most respectable draws…
Cap 87 & 94. Buyan managed to withstand twice the pressure of later silver medallist Audioslavia in the last World Cup.

23. Most iconic win…
Cap 67. They will not enjoy reading us boasting about it again but that victory against Runtenbach remain our only World Cup points.

24. Highest ranking ever…
Thirty. After the splendid World Cup campaign – our only one so far – Buyan found themselves almost in the first tier of nations. Almost.

25. Royal supplier…
Viztourzys Kolektyvinis. No less than eleven players wore both iconic shirts amongst whom Kazimieras Zemaitis, one of the very few to play and win a Globe Cup, a Beltane Cup and a Baptism of Fire final.

[The Sarian]

Hello and welcome to SNN news, I'm Hubert Shivone across the SNN network, in the news this afternoon:

The Commandant of the Military Garrison of the Isle of Tench has been found dead after being reported missing on Friday. The coroner has declared that a "lethal dosage of paracetamol" was found in the Brigadier Alistair MacManus' bloodstream. The death is not being considered as suspicious.

The Government will launch a new plan today to limit the amount of immigration coming from the Infore Continent, following calls that the growing number of immigrants are bringing down wages for Sarian Workers. Speaking to SNN Breakfast was Executive Councilor for Industry, Workers and Skills, Henry Sussex. "I think we need to pinpoint the issue with allowing Sarian workers to be overlooked in favour of cheaper work from elsewhere. Wages will fall to a point of no return if we do not do anything now."

The Singer Vidi has denied claims that she will be performing on behalf of The Sarian in next years WorldVision, the General Grant singer, who represented The Sarian in WorldVision 32, where she came an unprecedented fourth told SNN Radio Three that "WorldVision was an experience I enjoyed last year and is best left at that." Rumours began after the singer chirped lyrics to a "new but old project".

The Sarian National Football Team recorded it's first loss of the Campionato Esportiva Campaign, losing out two nil to Apox. Goals came either side of halftime, and both were scored by thirty year old striker, Tolgus Tregajorran. After the game, manager Daniel Bauer faced reprimanding from the Yttribian Football Federation and it's Nepharan counterpart by criticizing the referee. "H e made two crucial errors, first denying us a penalty when we were one down which would have seen us right back into the game and then allowing Tregajorran's second goal to stand when it was clearly offside. I would be annoyed, but would understand, if it was marginal, but it was clearly offside and the referee should have no doubts about it."

Elsewhere, hosts Nephara defeated Jectaria to take charge of Group E while Yttribia were also victorious, defeating Hicana by two goals to one to take command of the 'group of life'. Lojal relied on a goal each by Shea Armistead and Torquil Wieck to defeat Earo to take an unexpected lead of Group C with two games to go.

That's the news headlines, for a full news roundup be sure to join us at four.

[Lojal]

My Hunroys (I Dream) - National Anthem of Lojal

My hunroys e hunros a unita
Gans bleujenedh en ow dorn
E hunros, e govenek, e bewnas
Dre vajyaedh en mesk an gwlas

Ha ena eg an piw kas an hunros
An piw edhom a n marow
Bes nei ny bodh gara aga, na nei ny bodh,
Rag neioll hunros an hunros

A n gallos bones kales, a n bodh bones kalish
Bes nei bodh kas dredh
Dhe an hunros, an govenek, an bewnas
Gans bleujenedh en agan dornedh

I dreamed a dream of unity
With flowers in my hand
A dream, a hope, a living thing
That manifests among the land

And there are those that hate this dream
Those that want it dead
But we won't let them, no we won't
Because we all dream the dream

It may be tough, it will be hard
But we will battle through
For the dream, the hope, the living thing
With flowers in our hands.

[Jeckland]

JECKLAND MANAGE FIRST WIN

After a poor first two games, Jeckland were looking to bounce back with a convincing win over Noburu Taiyou. They managed the win part, with Sam Roper's 68th minute goal the Spuds first and only in a forgettable 270 minutes of CE football for our nation.

The first half hour of the game was dull to say the least. Noburu Taiyou played a very defensive 5-4-1 with the full backs acting more like wide centre backs. Jeckland dominated possesion and territory, but Noburu Taiyou got ten men behind the ball to great effect, with the creative Hoonas marked out of the game.

The only real chance of the first 30 minutes came when King won a long ball from Barker. He then slotted Long through in the area, who did well to shoot between two defenders and force a straightforward save from Takuda.

The last fifteen minutes were a lot better from Jeckland. Long had another shot go narrowly wide, and Jeckland were upping the tempo and lookin more dangerous. Micah Hoonas even managed to escaped his marker and hit a swerving 25 yard shot, unfourtunately straight into the arms of Takuda.

The second half began as the first did, with Jeckland in no rush to get the ball forward in the confidence that they could maintain possession. The game looked to have 0-0 written all over it and was fast turning into an absolutue snoozefest, until in the 60th minute things got spiced up a little.

A long ball from Taihei was latched on to by Toyota, who wrong footed Harnett with some clever footwork to go through one on one withe Evans. His attempt to curl the ball into the top corner resulted in the ball bouncing off the post and out, but the attack served as a wake up call for Jeckland.

They began to regain the potency they had enjoyed in the final minutes of the first half and withing eight minutes were level. Henriques palyed the ball to the overlapping O'Neill on the right flank. His floating crossed sailed past the back post, where an unmakred Roper had time to control and finish.

Sadly for the neutral, Jeckland then decided to give their opponenets a taste of their own medicene. King was substituted for Doyle as Jeckland switched to 5-4-1 and all out defence. Taiyou were forced out of their own half, but things played out much as they had done with Jeckland attacking, a lot of possesion, few chances.

They only had one shot on goal all game, which came in stoppage time. Toyota passed to Hasegawa with his back to goal and the centre mid had a pop from the edge of the D, which was brilliantly tipped wide by a full stretch Evans.

The resulting corner was headed away by Barker, and the final whistle blew. It wasn't pretty, it wasn't a great performance. But it was a win, and that was a relief.

---

LEFTIE AND PROUD - A DISGRUNTLED JECKLANDER'S BLOG

I'm left handed. In the world we live in it's actually bloody annoying. So let's rant!

Firstly, as a left hander you have to work out instructions the other way round. What sounds simple can be as simple as force feeding a T-Rex a spoon. Therefore you can appear more useless at something than you actually are, just because people haven't explained it to you properly. It's just assumed that we can handle it, when it can be hard.

There's also the fact that the world is designed by and for right handers, as they are a majority as vast as the space between some politicians' ears. Door handles twist in a direction beneficial to right handers. Pencil sharpeners, bottle lids - I could go on for ages. I've learnt to do more stuff with my right hand than most people can manage with their left.

Then there's writing. In a classroom environment, the right hander is king. Lefties have to deal with trailing arms through ink. Trust me, finding out that your last line of work is smudged is about as fun as treading on a plug. And that fucking hurts. Also, beware the elbow of the person on your left, as you jostle for desk space, jogging each other in the process.

One of the worst things is other people when you say you're left handed. They might say something like "Oh my cousin is left-handed!" Wow, great! I have five cousins who are right handed, but I don't feel the need to tell you that! Get over it! I suppose it's better than the olden days, when being left handed was about as good as murdering puppies and kittens (although - no, I won't even go there).

There's so much more, but I'm tired and my brain can't function properly, so I'll just sign off with this message to my fellow lefties - I understand you, I know your troubles.

[Star United States]

The Rise and Fall of the Starian Governments

Part I: The Rising
Part II: The Rising Cont.

Previously...
“Dad! Dad!” shouted young Dean as he ran through the high-class hallways of City Hall, looking for his father, “dad!, oh dad! Where are you?”

“Where could he be?” thought the young teen, “he told me to come today.” The young fellow started to walk through the east wing of the City Hall, and found a place to sit. He texted his dad, but received no reply. As he slid down in his seat, just like any other teens, in a poor posture, a shiny objected located near a door reflected the bright white neon lights. Dean quickly followed the object shining. As he got closer, he was able to determined that it was a key.

“I wonder what key this is for,” he thought, “maybe it’s for that do-”

“Oh yes, James said he should be in that room,” said a sophisticated female voice. The voice was faint, but slowly getting louder as footsteps were heard coming down the hall. Dean quickly grabbed the key and fled.

Chapter 3: Chaos In Golden City and Blu

City Hall, Golden City
August 11, 2014 - 15:05 Hours

The woman approaching the location where Dean was standing at where he picked up the key lying on the floor, while Dean fled through the other side of the hallway. As Dean was running he stopped to an open door, painted in a rusty red color, that stated: CITY HALL CONTROL ROOM. He looked around, checking both sides of the hallway, making sure no one was near. He carefully entered the room since he lacked the knowledge if someone was inside the room. He checked the rather large room, and to his relief the room was empty.

"Miss. M told us to meet her," said a utterly high-pitched male voice, "we must hurry Marc!"
"Hey, did we leave this door open?" asked another voice, still high-pitched.

"Marc?" thought Dean as he hid in the darkness of the room, unable to see the person's face. "Marc, what's he doing here?"

"Just close it," replied one, "she won't notice."

The two young men continued down the hallway to the location where the woman was located, and Dean explored the poor in light room. He approached a table covered in a black cloth. Dean, being a curious teen, in two movements took the cloth away, revealing a glass table. Almost instantly, a sounded boomed in the room: "Hello. Welcome to the 3D camera of the City Hall." After this statement, a 3D view of the City Hall appeared hovering over the glass table. "Use your hands to control the zoom and what location you'll like to analyze." Dean quickly raise his hands and make a circular movement, turning the building on the Eastern Wing, he then joined his fingers together and spread them out zooming into the Eastern Wing, and exactly were the intruders were standing, and he could hear every single word that they were speaking. He zoomed into the lady standing closest to the door. She was pale, and had white hair, but still seemed young in years. He zoomed into the man standing next to her, he was also young, and pale. An interesting thought, according to Dean. He then begun to listen to the conversation in the hallway...

"James! What do you mean you lost the key!!" shouted the only woman in the group.
"Hm, I could've left it at Blu. I don't know," replied James with great respect.

As soon was Dean heard this, he slid his hand into his pocket and embraced the silver key in his pocket, knowing exactly that's what they wanted.

"How do you suppose we transfer the mayor out of this room?" questioned the lady in a rather loud whisper!

"MY DAD!" though Dean, "he's in that room."

"I can fly back to Blu, but you'll have to wait a few hours." stated James.
"You have 20 hours, or else you're a dead man."

The group quickly separated and, following the 3D projection, Dean determined the have left the building, and the Eastern Wing was completely empty. He quickly turned off the 3D projection and left the room. He rushed to the room were his father was said to be in, and with sweat pouring down his face he struggled getting the key into the lock. After a few failed attempts, he succeed and opened the door to see a man with his head down tied down on a chair in the middle of the empty room.

Dean tapped the man, and whispered, "Dad, dad!"
To the sound of his son, the mayor woke up, and since his mouth was tapped he just made muffled noises.
"I'll get you out dad, don't worry," whispered Dean to his stressed father still attempting to say something.

"Young man!" Dean quickly spun around to see who directed the voice to him,""what are you doing?"

---

Previously...
The Blun Mayor sat in his office writing reports of the Federal Government, when he heard a sudden noise, and a shout in the lobby.
“Elizabeth, Elizabeth! What’s that noise?”shouted the Mayor of Blu from inside his office.
“MAYOR!” was desperately yelled back from the lobby.
The mayor quickly stood up and walked across the room with blue carpet, and quickly opened the sturdy door.
“Hello Mr. Mayor.” said a man dressed in black while pointing a gun to the Mayor’s forehead, “don’t do anything, and you’ll stay alive, that goes the same for you dear wife.”
BAM.
“Mayor!” exclaimed Elizabeth.

Blu Federal Government Building, Blue
August 11,2014 - 12:12 Hours

"ARRRGGGGGGG" shouted the Mayor as he slid to the ground.
"YOU, you weren't supposed to shot him! M wants him alive" yelled one the men dressed in black.

Running footsteps were heard coming from the hallway, and the men in black attempted to escape...

"Officer 101, Presidential Guard. Put your hands in the air!" shouted the Officer Drew, as he pointed with a gun to the men, as well as the nine-man squad standing behind them.

"You're under arrest for attempting to murder the Mayor of Blu," said Officer Drew, "don't move you'll make easier for yourself." At this moment, the man pulled out his gun and pointed towards Officer Drew.

BAM. BAM. BAM.

To be continued...

[Yttribia]

Match-Day Four Cut-Off for the Nepharim Half

---

Group E
Nephara 1–0 Gloriax
Chrovan 2–0 Jecatria
Emigla-Romana 1–1 Nurovo

Pos                        Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Nephara                 4    4   0   0     5    0   +5    12
2 Chrovan                 4    3   0   1     6    2   +4     9
3 Jecatria                4    2   0   2     5    5    0     6
4 Gloriax                 4    2   0   2     3    4   −1     6
5 Nurovo                  4    0   1   3     1    4   −3     1
6 Emigla-Romana           4    0   1   3     2    7   −5     1

Group F
Bongo Johnson 1–0 Brasiliana
Ruentenbach 1–0 Gregoryisgodistan
Buyan 1–1 Felix

Group F                     Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Felix                         4   2  2  0    6   4  +2    8
2 Ruentenbach                   4   2  2  0    5   3  +2    8
3 Buyan                         4   2  1  1    6   3  +3    7
4 Gregoryisgodistan             4   2  0  2    4   4   0    6
5 Bongo Johnson                 4   1  1  2    3   4  −1    4
6 Brasiliana                    4   0  0  4    1   7  −6    0

Group G
Itanpavia 1–1 Paymina
Apox 1–0 New Wolfopolis
The Royal Barangay 1–1 The Sarian

Group G                     Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Apox                          4   3  0  1    4   2  +2    9
2 The Royal Barangay            4   1  2  1    4   3  +1    5
3 The Sarian                    4   1  2  1    5   5   0    5
4 Itanpavia                     4   1  2  1    2   2   0    5
5 Paymina                       4   1  2  1    4   5  −1    5
6 New Wolfopolis                4   0  2  2    1   3  −2    2

Group H
Kitsunia-Deesse 2–0 Super Llamaland
Slembanana 2–2 Southern Sunrise Islands
Brenecia 3–1 Kazamatsuri

Group H                     Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Brenecia                      4   3  0  1    6   3  +3    9
2 Kazamatsuri                   4   2  1  1   10   6  +4    7
3 Kitsunia-Deesse               4   2  1  1    7   3  +4    7
4 Slembanana                    4   1  3  0    7   6  +1    6
5 Southern Sunrise Islands      4   0  2  2    3   8  −5    2
6 Super Llamaland               4   0  1  3    1   8  −7    1

Qualify to Round of 16
Qualify to Playoffs
Eliminated from Tournament

[Nova Anglicana]

Nova Anglicana Roster and Overview, CEXI

Roster
Position-Number-Name-Age-Club (Division)


G #1 Tim Klein, 30, Bridgewall City FC (1st)
G #21 Saul Larson, 32, Castellum FC (1st)

D #4 Dallas Page, 32, Archbishop FC (1st)
D #2 Devin Osborne, 34, Newfield FC
D #3 Terrance Jordan, 29, Archbishop FC
D #5 Felix Kelly, 30, FC Portus (1st)
D #12 Salomon Balderas, 33, Heartwood FC
D #13 Barrett Brandt, 33, Labrador United (1st)
D #14 Matt Ross, 29, Lumberjacks FC (2nd)
D #15 Bradley Lancaster, 28, Trojana Condommakers, Royal Kingdom of Quebec , Q-League Premier Division


M #7 David Pelletier, 31, Olympique Sept-Iles (1st)
M #8 Philip Castillo, 30, Newfield FC
M #9 Alex Robinson, 29, FC Portus
M #10 Kyle Fleming, 28, Cassandra City, Cosumar , Harlighet Ligan
M #11 Jamie Graves, 29, Newfield FC
M #6 Cesar Martinez, 25, Citizens United, McKleigh , WASp
M #16 Martin Clark, 28, Labrador United
M #17 Derrick Norris, 29, Bridgewall City FC

F #18 Boyd Phillips, 34, St. Martin FC (1st)
F #19 Louis Simmons, 25, Springs FC
F #20 Bryant Ramsey, 27, Newfield FC

Manager: Silas Gabriel, 57 (interim)

Formation, Starting XI, and Style

Style Modifier= -2

With the "Three Wise Men" retiring after the disappointing Cup of Harmony, five players who appeared in the World Cup qualifying now playing in the Olympics, and another two NT hopefuls also playing in the Olympics, the Nova Anglican CEXI team is...not so CEXI. Heck, there aren't even 23 men on the roster, just 21. It's a Mötley Crüe of World Cup players and domestic players who have never appeared on a pitch for the national team before. The newbies aren't bad, but they certainly aren't likely to see much playing time, now or later. Not to mention that the NAFA has been in such a shambles that they haven't been able to select a new manager. They've gotten it down to three candidates, but in-fighting has led to no one being hired so far. So for now, they're stuck with "Solid" Silas Gabriel, Patrick Moran's top assistant and former manager of FC Portus.

Since two of the team's preferred strikers are in the Olympics, and one of the others retired, Gabriel was not about to task 34 year-old Boyd Phillips with being the team's lone striker (nor one of the domestic players), so he elected to go with a "strikerless" 4-6-0 formation. This would actually set up as a pretty darn good formation were Emmanuel Moga to be a part of the team, but he's currently headlining the Olympic side, so instead Jamie Graves gets the call. Graves isn't a poor player, but he is unspectacular and without the kind of pace and creativity that Moga brings to the table. He is, however, a lot more disciplined and a harder worker. Most of the offense in this formation is going to come from set pieces or from the wings Pelletier and Fleming, especially when Bradley Lancaster can charge up from his fullback position and overload the right wing. The team is, as always, very solid defensively in the middle, with Castillo, Robinson, Osborne, and Jordan. They aren't going to score many goals, and they might be vulnerable down the wings, but this is just the Lions trying to make a go of it. No high hopes here, just keep it respectable.

Uniforms

(In order, home, away, and alternate, courtesy of NSI's Vulpine Sportif)

I Give My Opponent Permission To:
    =================================
    Choose My Goalscorers:        Y
    Godmod Goalscoring Events:    Y - only if you TG me and ask first
    Injure Players:               N - TG me if the severity will be more than one game and I'll give the yea or nay
    Godmod Injury Events:         N
    Red Card Players:             Y - no more than one every two games, so if my previous opponent has doled one out, tough luck
    Yellow Card Players:          Y - for every two you give my players, at least one must be given to your players
    Godmod Other Events:          N
    =================================

[Buyan]

Maybe, guys, it’s not about the gaffer
[by Johan Gredholm]

The remnants of the last World Cup campaign are out the door and the start of Buyans fourth cycle, traditionally in the Campionato Esportiva, would definitively mark the start of a new era for our Hedgehogs. Every trace left from the reign of Paradystopian Sirius Hope should by now have either withered away or become a strange yet unimportant stain on the wall. Many expectations were voiced when the new Nepharim overlord stood up to tackle the task to guide Buyan to a second World Cup appearance: the negativity which got associated with our football would disappear and the last step from the ‘alright nations’ to the ‘really good ones’ would be taken. But although Reinhard Shale can count on a minor advantage being on his home soil, not a lot of those promises have been fulfilled.

Four games, seven points, six goals scored, three against. Numbers that point nowhere near a quarterfinal, a barrier that should be the least of targets for our national team. And although even I can agree that the group draw hasn’t been an advantage, as facing Felix, Ruentenbach and Gregoryisgodistan are all what’s needed to form a group of death, these excuses lose their value if we trace the goals the Buyanese Football Board has set. Admittedly, that means that both the number one, five and eleven of Esportivan nations – based on the multiversal rankings – are to be beaten. Et alors? If you want to step up the plate, declaring that you want to move in to the higher regions of the football ranks, that’s what it takes. You will not find your glory with three-pointers against humble opponents such as Bongo Johnson – although it seems that that is hard enough in itself. Even more, if not a point is scrounged against the always obstinate Gregoryisgodistani, the tournament ends before it actually started.

But it is easy to decry the moderate score we’ve gathered so far, let us rather look upon the causes for this malaise. The first target to shoot is – I’m a pundit after all – obviously the manager. Shale has been a treat to the press after the stubborn and often unsympathetic Sirius Hope, always making time for an open and complete explanation. One could account on his bill a lack of tactical inflexibility, but his attempt to reform the narrow diamond 4-4-2 into a 3-4-3 during the last fifteen minutes against Felix goes against that observation. But does the Nepharim way of ‘putting eleven names on the board’ match our selection? The reasoning behind it makes a lot of sense. If we look to the selection, the players that produce that little extra, that have set the move from national to international level are Sverre Devold, Kazimieras Zemaitis and … Well, our list probably ends here. With the remaining midfields playing closer to him, Devold should be able to max out his passing skills and for a left defender who often confuses himself to be a winger such as Zemaitis, the boulevard offered near the side-line is a constant source of pleasure.

If we’ve reached a tactical zenith, how come we’re not grabbing any points against Ruentenbach? Why do we fail to take home victory against a Felix overwhelmed by domestic hassle? Why on earth would we struggle to roll over Bongo Johnson, that fields a team that has near to no international experience? If it’s neither the tactics or the atmosphere created by the gaffer, what could it be? If you, dear reader, have been breaking your skull over this enigma as well, maybe turn on the telly for the next ninety minutes of our national squad. Indeed we have grown to a certain level over time but for the next step, you need quality on all parts of the pitch. Ulle Seber has rightfully stepped up to the position of first goalie, but remains rather just a reliable last man than a keeper who will take home the points. The heart of our defence is missing out on Bartkus when under pressure, especially now Tufte is out of form. Expecting from Giertych that he will be the backbone of our backline is just a bridge too far at the moment. On the right wing, neither Smetona or Justs can create the danger Zemaitis installs on opponents and from time to time – god, am I really typing this? – one would miss the stability offered by Gabs Refshauge in the past.

Things don’t become more enthusing once we move more up the pitch. Quinten Zermin will remain one of those guys who earns his spot through hard work and we certainly appreciate that, but he’ll never be the kind of builder one needs in that department of the pitch to exert a smothering pressure on tough opponents. His possible replacements are either too green – Suhr – or almost rotten – Naess -. On the left, Dimitri Plovnarov is a gifted fellow, but he hasn’t yet become a player that guides the team. The opposite side of our midfield can bank on two talented players with Knutsen and Halmiini, but neither hasn’t been able to place his mark on this tournament.

Last but not least, we enter the part of the field where Buyan is the least well-endowed. It’s a clear sign that none of the four attackers that already earned a starting spot so far has scored more than once and Shale keeps on shifting to find the matching duo. If we’re good to honest, we’ld that say that none of the six on board has the raw quality to push the team over the line when it’s needed. Rettinger is a fellow with the right spirit but remains the guy of a sympathetic scrimmage goal. His regular partner in crime, Duco Dalmshelf, should have a nose for goals but seems to have left it at home. Our favourite lantern post, Elmo Havelund, might have made the most of his career, but he is really past his peak. And if we’ll have to look to Sil Moen to carry the attack, I’m afraid we’re far from home. Moen is a great player, but only in support. One would almost hope that either Hostmann or Balnerii steps up and makes the difference, but we assume Shale has his reasons why he hasn’t gone beyond a few minutes to feature. The conclusion of it all is one bathing in realism: wanting to have a team to compete with the best doesn’t make you have one.

---

Line-up against Gregoryisgodistan

Ulle Seber (30 caps)
Giedius Justs (6 caps) * Rafal Giertych (11 caps) * Sigurd Tufte (78 caps) * Kazimieras Zemaitis (75 caps)
Quinten Zermin (61 caps)
Espen Knutsen (10 caps) * Vridrich Lammerschon (1 cap)
Sverre Devold (83 caps)
Duco Dalmshelf (32 caps) * Andrey Rettinger (11 caps)

Bench: Schmidt (27), Saldlund (4), Dziuba (2), Mamontovas (10), Smetona (14), Suhr (0), Losokov (2), Kluszak (13), Moen (29), Havelund (44), Balnerii (0)

No Dimitri Plovnarov, who picked up one too many cards so far. Also not present is Eero Halmiini, he suffers from a minor knee injury and is kept to rest by Shale, hoping he’ll be able to reappear in the next round. The offensive dilemma was great, with Hostmann eventually the one who ended up drawing the short straw.

[Nephara]

MATCHDAY 4 CUTOFF

GROUP A
Jeckland 2–1 Independent Grevacat
Yttribia 0–0 Sakhalin
Noburu Taiyou 1–0 Hicana

Pos                              P   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Yttribia                       4   3  1  0    8   4  +4    10
2 Sakhalin                       4   2  1  1    3   3   0    7
3 Independent Grevacat           4   2  0  2    4   4   0    6
4 Jeckland                       4   2  0  2    4   5  −1    6
5 Hicana                         4   1  0  3    4   5   0    3
6 Noburu Taiyou                  4   1  0  3    3   5  −2    3

GROUP B
Nova Pruthenia 3–1 United Alfheim
Paradystopia 2–0 Kirigiri-no-Mikoto
Dandillis 0–1 Raussland

Pos                              P   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Paradystopia                   4   3  1  0    6   2  +4   10
2 Raussland                      4   3  0  1    5   3  +2    9
3 Dandillis                      4   2  1  1    4   2  +2    7
4 Kirigiri-no-Mikoto             4   1  1  2    3   5  −2    4
5 Nova Pruthenia                 4   1  0  3    4   5  −1    3
6 United Alfheim                 4   0  1  3    3   8  −5    1

GROUP C
Coconutstan 0–2 Carialus
Earo 5–0 NAAZE
Boring Paradise 1–0 Lojal

Pos                              P   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Earo                           4   3  0  1   10   2  +8    9
2 Boring Paradise                4   3  0  1    8   2  +6    9
3 Lojal                          4   3  0  1    6   3  +3    9
4 NAAZE                          4   2  0  2    2   6  −4    6
5 Carialus                       4   1  0  3    3   8  −5    3
6 Coconutstan                    4   0  0  4    1   9  −8    0

GROUP D
Star United States 2–3 Rossana
Estope 2–0 Paradystopi Consanguinity
San Jose Guayabal 4–3 Chiata

Pos                              P   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Estope                         4   3  1  0   12   3  +9   10
2 San Jose Guayabal              4   2  2  0    8   6  +2    8
3 Paradystopi Consanguinity      4   2  0  2    6   5  +1    6
4 Rossana                        4   2  0  2    4   5  −1    6
5 Chiata                         4   1  0  3    6  10  −4    3
6 Star United States             4   0  1  3    5  12  −7    1

[Brenecia]

THE ROZELLE OBSERVER
Patriots Cruise To 3-1 Victory - Well On Track For Qualification
by Derek Mackan

The Patriots put their foot firmly on the accelerator and looked in total control throughout a match in which Kazamatsuri had all the possession and none of the chances. For all the intricacies of their strikerless formation, boasting two wingers and an attacking midfielder, the Patriots' tendency to defend high and strong, and go direct on the counterattack, simply overpowered their opponents.

That said, it would be unfair to say that their attack was blunted all match - they had the better of the first fifteen minutes, proving too slippery for Brenecia's back four, and they got a goal just seven minutes in. Kira drew Berenger and Kelly out of position, which allowed Sakurada to get in behind them - when Sakurada got the pass, Greig came for him, which left another gap. The attacking midfielder squared it short and neat, and Toyota slotted it in.

Textbook stuff from the Kazamatsuri-jin, and they got another good chance - Sakurada was given far too much space by Kelly, and his long shot was palmed by Pence onto the bar and headed clear by Greig. But Brenecia's defence, possibly fuelled by Bardsley's shouting from the sidelines, solidified markedly at the ten-minute mark, and twelve minutes in Scherzer got the first Brenecian shot of the match. It was, admittedly, terrible, but it was a statement of intent, and he'd atone for it just four minutes later. A long pass from Camden played Cullen past the Kazamatsurian defence, and the Barbury Town winger had little difficulty cutting past Sakanoue before cutting a chest-height cross in for Scherzer. He controlled it admirably to his feet, swerved past Moriguchi and somewhat clumsily hit it with his right boot. The contact, however, was clean - and Maruyama could only sprawl hopelessly, having already come too far the wrong side of the goal, as the low shot scythed into the net.

Scherzer, ever hot-and-cold, proceeded to miss an utter sitter, but it mattered little. Brenecia had their equaliser, and they weren't to be denied a lead that seemed inevitable. Kurtis Armstrong, surprisingly, rifled a strike against the bar as the ball came to him by chance after a corner. And Armstrong turned provider, in a way, with another of his rare moments in the other half of the pitch - seeing an opening through the midfield, he'd tried to latch onto a Portadown pass, but was clattered by Fujioka. Going the direct route as ever, Camden stunningly converted the free kick from 28 yards, Maruyama left motionless.

Kazamatsuri finally got their third shot on target of the match soon after - this came from a Kira Rei free kick that Pence had to dive well to save. But it was yet another counter-attack that gave the Brenecians their final goal - substitute Larissa Connolly of Falkner United took another long Camden pass on her left boot, cut inside and smashed it past Maruyama with her right to finish off the Kazamatsuri-jin. Eight minutes passed quietly, Brenecia content to defend their lead, but at the end it was the Patriots who deservedly took home the points.

Brenecia need a result against the South Sunrise Islands to ensure progression. This shouldn't be tough on paper - the Patriots have the stronger squad, and the Islanders are winless so far. But there's a couple of Islander players who could be dangerous, and, as is the norm with Sunrise squads, they're very young. What might add a little spice to the challenge is first-choice left-back John Santiago sharing a club with our very own Paul Ashpike - but we can't afford to rest much of our squad. Defeat here would be disastrous if other teams can capitalise. Still, it should be ours - and while it's far too close to call our opponents in the next round, Brenecia could go further than anyone gives us credit for.

[Jeckland]

THREE MORE POINTS IN VITAL FIXTURE

Another plucky underdog side known for their defensive formation were no match for Jeckland in this game, as they took a 2-1 victory to keep their qualification hopes alive. Despite fears of fans of another boring game like the one against Taiyou, the second half was one to remember.

The first started with little event. The Gredavcat defence sat deep, although unlike Taiyou they were more willing to hold onto possession and try to attack - albeit putting less bodies forward.

Jeckland countered this safety first strategy with a high tempo passing game, Cole and Hoonas an instumental part of this gameplan. There were no real chances until the 17th minutes, with Hoonas bursting into the box and forcing a save from Hallam.

Gredvcat were trying to attack as previously mentioned and a nice run from Veva resulted in the wigner shooting narrowly wide from a tight angle.

Although chances were few, the quality of football was a lot better from Jeckland, not at the standards they are capable of but good nontheless.

Another chance came in the 32nd minute, King recieving a pass from Roper before shooting straight at the keeper. Pressure mounted, with Cole shooting erratically from range, but the goal came in the 37th minute.

Hoonas played the ball to King just outside the penalty area, and a one touch one two with strike partner Long was enough to outfox the defenders. King duly tapped home from close range into the bottom right corner, leaving Hallam no chance.

The rest of the half passed without much event. Jeckland came out for the second half with the same attitude, but Gredvcat had a more attacking outlook this time. Ze latched onto a Brozi through ball to force a good save out of Evans, and Perztoka fired a threatening shot wide from outside the area.

With 15 minutes gone in the second half, Jeckland looked to have weathered the storm, but they were wrong. Some excellent interplay from Marvins and Veva on the left flank results in the latter putting in a corss, which Ze headed home via a touch from the diving Evans.

Jeckland were spurred on by this and began to attack with relish. The final ball however was lacking, and for the next ten minutes an air of frustration was evident from the Jeckish players. The introduction of Parry proved a masterstroke, as within two minutes he had won a penalty.

Recieving the balll from Roper, the striker twisted past Zhaz in the box, who stuck out a leg and tripped the player. A yellow card was justified, it could even be argued a red was warranted.

Hoonas stepped up. His initial penalty was tame, low and central, but the save went straight back to him and he lashed it into the top corner.

The rest of the match passed withkout event, and Jeckland had a second CE win to their name. The group is now tight, with Jeckland still in with a hope of qualifying.

Pos                              P   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Yttribia                       4   3  1  0    8   4  +4    10
2 Sakhalin                       4   2  1  1    3   3   0    7
3 Independent Grevacat           4   2  0  2    4   4   0    6
4 Jeckland                       4   2  0  2    4   5  −1    6
5 Hicana                         4   1  0  3    4   5   0    3
6 Noburu Taiyou                  4   1  0  3    3   5  −2    3

Yttribia are through on 10 points, with Hicana and Noburu Taiyou out on 3. This leaves Sakhalin, Grevacat, and us. Grevacat face a difficult game agsint Yttribia, whereas Sakhalin face the eliminated Noburu Taiyou, leaving Jeckland a game against Hicana. Realistically Jeckland need to win, and hope neither of their qualifying rivals do. It'll be tough, but we can always hope.

OOC: Possibly some Jecklander to follow.