Today's sport issue features a unique perspective of BoI match by resident expert Bobby Pints.
BEASTS WINNERS FOR FIRST TIME; FANS CHEER!
by BOBBY PINTS | Aug 24, 2012
DEFAHAN, AREDSHAN- Jesus, they won! I mean, nobody really expected them to win, mind you but they still won! Did I mention it's a complete surprise to see the Beasts win yet? No? Well, it is! Let me tell you all about it...
The Beasts geared up for their game with the Neu Engollon (Ibex), usual formation and the same guys as before. Nicholas Nagoftam was also there, so maybe the rumours that were spreading about his pacifist missus forcing him to quit were not really trustworthy. Unreliable rumours, that's new!
Anyway, we were all pretty disheartened from our disastrous first match so when fans heard about the Beasts "gearing up", nobody really thought about invincible beasts preparing to munch their way to success. No, they probably all thought of manly hens starting a rebellion against foxes. More disaster waiting to happen, in other words.
The game started, and the rather aggressive Neu Engollon team quickly got the upper-hand. Like I said, nobody from our side had any high hopes. First a field goal that our defense failed to stop, then a safety in just under ten minutes.
Turns out you can still weep of hopelessness even if you don't have any hopes. Then by Celest- I mean Jesus, magic happened! The tides quickly changed much to the surprise of wide-eyed viewers in Aredshan, and the Beasts got a touch-down and a two-point hit on the Ibex. That put us straight at 8-5, on the winning side!
Barely a couple minutes had passed, and the rival team repaid the favour by scoring a safety but even that wasn't enough as the unexpectedly charged Beasts managed a field goal and their very first safety in the course of the Baptism of Iron. We directly landed at 13-7, again on the winning side!
That's when the game drew to an end, with the Beasts' very first international win. I don't know about Khazan City or Bluemends, but here in Defahan (that's our capital, for you foreign folk) we're rocking hard! Parties everywhere! It was hard to nudge myself away from the constant festivities to write this but lucky you!
It was a surreal experience, partying for the team you counted on to lose but won. We're no longer at the bottom of the list either, off from seventh place to fifth.
To the Neu Engollons following us, you played brilliantly! I personally admire the skill Ibex has shown so far in the Baptism of Iron.
Time to bring this to an end, since you guys who missed the match are now caught up as well like the rest of us. Great, isn't it? Gals too I suppose. Sheesh, to think some people call me sexist when it comes to football.
I know it can be boring when I'm not there but you can always check out my pal Zivar Norlands' upcoming interview with the man who's behind our surprisingly capable football team. Till next match! Cheers!
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Bobby Pints is thirty years old, and a respected member of the Pins Club of Aredshan. His unique humour has made him popular amongst readers of the Times of Aredshan.
Aredshani Beasts Play Schedule: Group D: -Week 1: Beasts vs. United States of Devonta (Lost 0-7) -Week 2: BYE -Week 3: Beasts vs. Neu Engollon (Won 13-7) -Week 4: Beasts vs. Bzakstan -Week 5: Beasts vs. Christian Isles -Week 6: Beasts vs. Patistan -Week 7: Beasts vs. The Sarian | Standings: Group D (Wins, Losses, Points) 1 Neu Engollon (2, 1, 6) 2 United States of Devonta (2, 1, 6) 3 Christian Isles (1, 1, 3) 4 Patistan (1, 1, 3) 5 Aredshan (1, 1, 3) 6 Bzakstan (1, 2, 3) 7 The Sarian (1, 2, 3) |
Note from the Editor: We'd like to express our apologies to the Christian Isles for accidentally omitting their name on the Group D listing in our last issue.