World Cup 68 RP Thread

by **Electrum** » Fri Mar 28, 2014 11:19 pm

The following is an excerpt from the DFAIR (Department of Foreign Affairs and International Relations) Travel Advice Website

This advice was last updated on 29th March, 2014. It contains updated information on the newly formed Government-in-Exile of Kinitaria and World Cup travel. Citizens are warned that actions which may be lawful in Electrum may not be legal in Kinitaria.

Overall Advice: Yellow Level
Blue - Travel freely
Green - Travel with caution
Yellow - Reconsider travel
Red - Do not travel

Summary

Reconsider travel to Kinitaria due to different laws and an authoritarian regime ceasing power. Actions that may be lawful in Electrum are considered differently in Kinitaria. Freedom of speech is not a guaranteed right.
On September 2011, General IRIN KUCINIČ seized control over the country and overthrew the government.
The nominal leader of Kinitaria is General IRIN KUCINIČ. Public statements slandering aforementioned leader will lead to severe penalties and likely arrest.
The death penalty is allowed under Kinitarian law. Electrum officials will help in any circumstances to free arrested/jailed Electrumites, but this assistance is limited as Electrum has no consulates or embassies in Atlantian Oceania.
Take care when entering and exiting the country. Political and other sensitive materials are not to be be brought into Kinitaria. Importation of these illegal materials can lead to indefinite arrest and even execution. Additionally, flares which are legal in Kinitaria, are classified as a controlled import in Electrum. Citizens will be fined for bringing controlled imports on air travel or ships entering Electrum.
As a safety precaution, when staying in Kinitaria, ensure you travel in small groups and avoid areas of riots, hostilities, uprisings and areas with high concentrations of people.
On March 2014, a Government-In-Exile was set up in an unknown country. Electrum has yet to form a position on the exiled government or the government in power in Kinitaria currently on who is the legitimate government of Kinitaria. Citizens are asked to refrain from talking about the exiled government or any other politically sensitive opinion whilst in Kinitaria, or risk being persecuted by Kinitarian authorities.

Security, Crime and Laws

Due to the nature of the government in Kinitaria, conditions locally may deteriorate quickly. Citizens are asked to ensure their safety by avoiding large crowds of people and any riots or uprising that can occur.
Although most crimes result in indefinite detention or arrests, recent data suggests that petty crime may occur against foreign citizens in Kinitaria. Ensure your belongings are with you at all times.
Riots and fights can occur, even during sporting matches. Electrum citizens will only be allowed 6,000 tickets and will be vastly outnumbered by Kinitarian fans. Fights and troubles occur often and officials don't police this behaviour. Electrumites must be cautious when watching the soccer matches in Kinitaria. Flares are also a common occurrence during these matches.
Slander against the nominal leader of Kinitaria is illegal. Talking about politically sensitive issues whilst in Kinitaria is also illegal. Although free speech is a protected right in Electrum, these things can lead to arbitrary arrest, detention or execution. Be aware of local laws before travelling.

Getting Help

Electrum does not have an embassy in Atlantian Oceania or in Kinitaria. This hampers the ability for Electrumite officials to contact their counterparts in Kinitaria regarding Electrum citizens.
Electrum advises travellers to log their details onto this website, in case of the event something goes wrong in Kinitaria, making it easier for officials to contact their counterparts regarding Electrum citizens.
Electrum (through it's diplomatic offices) and Kinitaria are both members of the World Assembly. All high-level enquiries to and from Electrum will be conducted via the diplomatic channels established in the WA. Other then that, there are no other diplomatic means of contact between Electrum and Kinitaria.

by **Jeruselem** » Fri Mar 28, 2014 11:49 pm

Princess Amy and Princess Melody in Alexanderburn after Jeruselem won 1-0

Amy: Hi, this is Princess Amy for Naked News Jeruselem. We're in Alexanderburn for another world cup 68 qualifier.
Melody: Hello everyone
Amy: Anyway, nothing exciting we won 1-0 and somehow top the table for group 22
Melody: Really?
Amy: Yes
Melody: Oh, I didn't know that

Amy: Ossidiacqua sent Razul back to earth with a 2-0
Melody: Razul won their previous game like 6-0
Amy: Starblaydia have trouble with Hutanjia, with a mere 1-1 draw
Melody: Good news for us that
Amy: Republic of Vietnam beat the hapless Kemballia 2-0 and stay 2nd on the table
Melody: God, they've won four games and the loss was to us

Amy: Buyan beat Jeru FC 3-1 at home ... 2nd loss for our boys
Melody: You just can't tell with those boys
Amy: It's a very tight group 1, Jeru FC are 5th due to crappy goal difference
Melody: Come on boys, you can do better
Amy: GOOD NEWS - Qazox won beating Taslantis 2-0 at home
Melody: Yes, I hope this is a sign they are going to recover from that awful start

Amy: It's Q&A time and we got more questions from our viewers
Melody: They better be good ones
Amy: We didn't look at the ones from Jeru FC
Melody: Best avoid those ones
Amy: Some girls ask if that goalkeeper Ricky Martini is single, and interested
Melody: He's interested alright but he prefers ... guys

Amy: Yes, he's gay and sorry about that girls.
Melody: He's a nice guy all the same but he's not into women.
Amy: Someone asks if that Chloe Clumsy is actually clumsy
Melody: No, she's not clutz. It's just her name. Her surname is really Cluomsi
Amy: But someone wrote down Clumsy
Melody: Admittedly it's easier to spell

Amy: A lot of guys think Malena Rice looks like Malena Apple, the nude model
Melody: Yes, well it's the same person! She has a stage name Apple but rice isn't sexy name
Amy: Rice is a better surname than cucumber though
Melody: That'd be a funny surname
Amy: Some fans have met our striker Christopher Poodle and think he's a wanka
Melody: He is an effective member of our team but I wouldn't socialise with him

Amy: I don't like him but anyway!
Melody: He's here for his football
Amy: Guys think that Vikki Tzatziki is cute but have seen another person looking just like her
Melody: Vikki is certaintly a sexy Greek girl and she's got a twin sister Helena
Amy: Yes, I've met them. I get confused
Melody: Thank God they are both playing on the team

Amy: Someone asks if Delia Daring is that crazy women on that show where a girl does all those stupid and dangerous dares
Melody: Ah yes, her. She is. She's crazy that Delia
Amy: Yes, she's for no fear or no sense which ever applies
Melody: She plays football that way too, just gets herself into trouble sometimes
Amy: Still she sure doesn't know the meaning of I can't
Melody: She hasn't killed herself yet ...

Amy: It is true, that Princesses get better accomodation than other players
Melody: If course it is, we are Princesses.
Amy: Jeruselem is not democracy, we all know that
Melody: Mind you the team get pretty nice rooms all the same
Amy: Someone asks why can't Jeru FC get the same resources at Jeruselem
Melody: It's pretty simply, the Jeruselem FA run Jeruselem while the Jeruselem armed forced Jeru FC with some help from the Jeruselem FA

Amy: As we all know, the armed forces are tight asses with money
Melody: I should know, me and Pondy coached Jeru FC ourselves
Amy: That's all the questions for now.
Melody: Were there more?
Amy: Yeah, but most were asking your bra size and stuff like that
Melody: Oh, not actually football related

Amy: A lot can't read on public TV
Melody: OK then
Amy: That's all from us
Melody: See you all later

by **Jeckland** » Sat Mar 29, 2014 12:05 am

SO CLOSE YET SO FAR

The underdogs fought bravely against Blouman Empire, but didn't do enough. They almost went behind on two minutes, with a Mellard long shot striking the bar. Blouman Empire continued to dominate the first half, with Cooperson forcing a good save from Evans and Walkers firing over. However the Jeckish crowd were in great voice, and slowly they inspired their team to push forward. Now the big team was on the back foot, and Pressley forced a low save from Tuneson. The half time whistle stopped them from creating more, but they had held the big boys back and had a go themselves. It didn't seem impossible that a victory was on the cards.

After a slow start to the second half, Blouman Empire took the game by the scruff of the neck and went forward with full force. But Jeckish defenders nobly rose to the challenge. Heroic blocks from Barker and Al Fatyah kept the scores level. But it was only a matter of time. On 67 minutes Miller threaded a through ball to Harrison, who jinked around the onrushing Evans and majestically finished into an empty net. After a short silence, the Jeckish fans were back in full voice, singing the song they had been singing all night, their favourite song.

"We are the Spuddies,
The Muddy Spuddies,
And we are mental,
And we are here,
We are the greatest,
Football supporters,
And we'll sing,
And shout,
And cheer,"

The two teams went toe to toe for the next 10 minutes in an epic midfield battle, with Nollard and Grefschip working tirelessly as a pair. However as the end neared Jeckland started to push forward, but the Blouman Empire defenders were equal to it. That is until the final minute of stoppage time. Hoonas slipped the ball through for Nytnanga, who shot from a tight angle. The ball bounced down from the bar.... was it over the line? No, said the linesman, the replays would later prove him right. So close. Yet so far.

Now, let's have a look at the table, which stands like this:

Group 24                         Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Falcus                             5    4   0   1    15    6   +9    12
2 Blouman Empire                     5    4   0   1    13    5   +8    12
3 Estope                             5    4   0   1    15    8   +7    12
4 Jeckland                           5    3   0   2    13    6   +7     9
5 Antoletia                          5    3   0   2    14    9   +5     9
6 Scorpio                            5    1   0   4    13   18   −5     3
7 UzBenistan                         5    1   0   4     8   20  −12     3
8 Total n Utter Inanity              5    0   0   5     4   23  −19     0

Falcus still lead, but their loss means the Blouman Empire and Estope move level in a three way tie for points. Other potential playoff contenders Jeckland and Antoletia are three points off the pace, although both with impressive goal differences, then it's the three minnows bringing up the rear.

And new to these articles: Predictions for the next matchday!

UzBenistan vs. Total n Utter Inanity
Battle of the weakest. I say draw, or maybe UzBenistan win.

Blouman Empire vs. Scorpio
Comfortable win for Blouman, wouldn't be surprised to see four or five goals.

Antoletia vs. Jeckland
Ooooh... tough one. Jeckland should have their work cut out, but I think they'll fight. Draw or narrow win for the Fire Ants.

Estope vs. Falcus
This will be good. Possible draw, but if I had to pick a winner I'd go Falcus.

Finally, despite Jeckland's loss, I still think they have a good chance of making the playoffs.

COME ON JECKLAND!!!

by **Jeru FC** » Sat Mar 29, 2014 12:24 am

Princess Katy and Jeru FC's Dream Lord after losin 3-1 in Buyan

Katy: Well, what's the excuse today?
DL: Hey, the coach wasn't happy either. Seems no one is happy with us today
Katy: Other than the local Buyans
DL: Yes, that's a different matter that
Katy: I didn't see much real football from the guys today
DL: I guess we weren't really inspired

Katy: Two away losses, you can't keep losing away games because they are 50% of the games
DL: I know, but don't worry
Katy: I'm not worried about me, I'm worried about the team
DL: Hopefully we can make up for this
Katy: You can't turn up to work and not actually try in football
DL: I guess the opposition wanted to win more than we did

Katy: You lot give up too easily, go one goal down and then you give up
DL: I guess we do that a lot
Katy: Defeating yourselves lets the opposition win
DL: I guess it's all in the head
Katy: You have physical ability to be winners, you have to think you can win
DL: We are a bit up and down really

Katy: Yes well, all you have to is believe in yourselves.
DL: I guess we have a lot of self doubt
Katy: That's because in the army, they put that into you so you can controlled
DL: Yes, they do tell us we're a useless lot ... all the time
Katy: That's your problem, you take thinking to the football field and you lose
DL: What to do, we're programmed to doubt ourselves

Katy: That's why the coach can't do his job. He knows what you need to do but you don't because you think you can't
DL: I think that's problem all along
Katy: It's a good thing in football, the losers don't die like in war
DL: I'm glad about that thing
Katy: You can do better, you must think you can do the job
DL: It's hard to fight this self doubt, for the fear of failure

Katy: Failure can help you be stronger, learn from mistakes
DL: I guess that's our problem
Katy: Same mistakes
DL: Yes, I wish we'd just learn to learn
Katy: It's not too late
DL: I hope so

by **Nexxus Drako** » Sat Mar 29, 2014 3:18 am

(OOC: Sorry for the brevity of this RP, I'm having internet issues that keep killing my connection, people on IRC would know this, as it has become an IRC meme)

MD5: Nexxus Drako 3–4 Barunia
12' Kevin Arland
47', 76' Lio Golt

Jym looked at the email on his computer, it said the general election would be held on April 31st, which was around a month away (OOC: 1 Matchday).

He also looked at the previews for the election.

Nexxus Drako Election Preview

Libertarian Party
Leader: Jym Tymplr
Ideology: Libertarian Right
Seats Expected: 155
Position Expected: 1st

Democratic Party
Leader: Matthew Parker
Ideology: Center-Libertarian Center-Left
Seats Expected: 149
Position Expected: 2nd

Republican Party
Leader: Jane Forks
Ideology: Center-Authoritarian Center-Right
Seats Expected: 110
Position Expected: 3rd

Green Party
Leader: Zak Nikls
Ideology: Libertarian Center-Left
Seats Expected: 61
Position Expected: 5th

Socialist Party
Leader: Kevin Darcy
Ideology: Libertarian Far-Left
Seats Expected: 45
Position Expected: 6th

Centrist Party
Leader: Robert Grint
Ideology: Centrist Center
Seats Expected: 80
Position Expected: 4th

Jym rest assured that the media was picking him to lead, but as election day loomed, he began to get complacent, and the Democratic Party started slowly gaining the lead in the thrice-weekly polls.

by **The Inevitable Syndicate** » Sat Mar 29, 2014 3:28 am

Another speech. It seemed that all Lex Crowley was doing nowadays was making speeches and saying "No" to things that people wanted. Life wasn't easy being the Supreme Administrator of a nation of 55 million people (+ 5 million that he wanted to rule, but didn't really feel the same way). There were always issues to deal with, and as hard as he tried, he couldn't solve one without fourteen more popping up. The most recent issue on his plate was the shocking accusation that recent arson attacks had been caused by the government, in an attempt to cast doubt and dissidence to the Mertians. He was here, in the Forum's media conference room, to set the record straight.

Ladies, Gentlemen, people of the nation - You may have heard the rumours flying around that all is not well within the Syndicate's political system. That we have to resort to covert operations in order to further our agenda. That we're murderers, criminals, terrorists. I believe that none of this is true, and that a group out there is using the Corvidae name in order to paint us - your government - in a bad light. I have been the leader of this nation for four years, and in those years I have never seen such underhand and dirty tactics from anyone. We have led the Syndicate into a new era of prosperity, and while some have chosen not to follow us into the light, that does not mean that we will persecute them for their wrongdoings. Quite the opposite, in fact. We have tried to save them from making mistakes that they will regret, and unfortunately their defiance to reunite peacefully under the banner of a single Syndicate has had unforeseen consequences. It seems that those who were once the rebels, are now those being rebelled against. I implore the group currently in control of the Mertagne region to contain these attacks, and to ensure that those identifying as true Syndicatians don't get hurt. I will have no further loss of life to those trapped in the Mertagne region that wish to see a united Syndicate.
Thank you.

The media conference room erupted with questions from journalists - telephones rang, men and women on video conferences pulled a variety of expressions, and some stormed out of the room in a huff. Crowley pressed a hand to his temples and sighed, before pointing to a random journalist in the crowd. "You." he said, preparing himself for the onslaught of questions that would follow.

An hour later, he departed from the room, hands sweating with nerves. He hoped he'd said the right thing, and even if he hadn't, his cabinet was surrounded by yes men that wouldn't have told him anyway. A hand pressed on Crowley's shoulder - it was Ian Clayton, his right hand man and high ranking member of The Circle.

"Good speech, Lex - You knocked it out of the park..."

"Did I? Did I really? Because I think I just called the Mertians a bunch of barbarians, and practically ordered those who want to come back to the Syndicate back over here. That's not going to do down too well with the international community, is it?"

"I'm not sure anyone actually cares too much about Mertagne - it's not in a strategic place, It doesn't share any borders with prominent nations that will want to kick up a fuss, and it hasn't really cried for help - I think most see them as the rebels."

"That's a good point. I want to paint the picture that we're simply trying to take back what is rightfully ours - but that bloody international best-seller by that one bloke, oh what was it called again..."

"'Corvidae Triumphant', by 'Lingua'?"

"...Yeah, that one. It didn't help that that book took off and made us look bad. I guess it's good we've been intercepting the shipments out of the country..."

"Indeed. Anyway, there was another reason I wanted to speak to you, actually - Olive has replied to our offer."

"Seriously? That's been a deal months in the making. Did he finally have a decent opportunity?"

"I can't tell you about it here, Lex. Walls have ears."

"Indeed they do, but they're usually ours."

Clayton laughed. "Quite right. But still, follow me..."

by **Buyan** » Sat Mar 29, 2014 3:29 am

Two goals up with still one half of football to go, the Nine finally appeared to have embraced their heroes. The name of Havelund, usually the punching bag for the crowd due to his lack of technical finesse and Mullsphaller descent, got lauded when he went back to the dressing room and the enthused vibe even reached the press room, located in the upper ring of the brand-new national stadium.

Gerald Masselhof, senior writer of the Sports Courier, folded his hands over his voluptuous belly and sat back, closing his eyes for a few seconds. Those unfamiliar with his ways would presume that he took a quick nap, but his assistants knew that this was the moment when the magic happened. He envisaged the front page, the remainders of the articles and would start to send out his minions as soon as he opened his eyes again.

“Olavi?”
“Yes, sir? Another coffee, sir?”

Trying to obey to every wink, all present knew what type Olavi Saraminen was already. First day in the office for his apprenticeship and a devote worshipper to the writings of Masselhof. It would change, those experienced knew, once he got more familiar with Masselhofs crude ways and tendency to use interns as personal slaves. But the shell of fandom hadn’t broken yet and Olavi still dashed around the stadium, fulfilling the petty needs of his overlord.

“Hm... That could interest me as well. But that’s not the point. What do you think about the game... What shall be the front, which the great articles?”

Those around Masselhof held their breath... The great test had started, it appeared. It was almost a ritual every new kid on the block had to go through: to guess the mind of the great Masselhof. And fail, of course. Usually, the unfortunate apprentice would get scolded out of the press room, spending the remainder of his evening trying to get an interview with the lousiest of subs. Even those from rival newspapers tried to bow forward unostentatious, as it was the kind of spectacle that topped off a great match for them. Olavi coughed once, cleared his throat, coughed once more and eventually whispered.

“A big front with Havelund heading the second one past Angelica...”
“What title,” was the abrupt response.
“Ehm...”
“Ehm is a shitty title, kid. I know you’re nothing and you can nothing at the moment, but I had expected more. At least a proper word,” it resounded gruffy.
“Yes, ehm, sorry,...”
“It is not getting better, kid.”

His colleagues were basking in the moment, winking to one another. Canon’s fodder, that kid, they indicated with their smiles. Some of them had gone through the same treatment. Those who still had the right to sit here, usually managed to survive till the explanation of page three. At least.

“Ehm, Havelund towers above all?” Olavi suggested. Sweat broke from his forehead, anxious rubbing of hands.
“That...”

Masselhof waited for an instant, the journalists grinned. They knew what would come, but enjoyed it time and time again.

“... means you better just get me a coffee. Not one from this bar... One from the staff bar. They know my name, don’t worry.”
“Yes,” Olavi responded, attempting to hide the disappointment in his voice. He failed and he knew it, “where is that exactly, sir?”
“Catacombs,” was the mysterious answer, “you’re still standing here? Hush, hush!”

And off he was, both terrified and eager to correct his mistake with the best coffee ever made. Little did he know that staff coffee didn’t exist.

But ten minutes later, running through the lower halls of the Nine, he started to suspect it. Shaking his head, he got rid of the idea. Mister Masselhof wouldn’t.... No? Umpteen time, he had flashed his press card –still with that last grade picture in the top corner, embarrassing!- to guards and most of the time, they had ordered him to turn around. This time, however, he was strolling deep in the heart of the stadium. The thundering sound of the masses was impressive, how these players could keep their nerves with the stampede above their heads, Olavi wondered, it was such a...

Holy.
Shit.

Was that... Sverre Devold? The star player from Barbury Town winked to the open-mouth aspirant journalist.

“Good... Good luck, mister Devold, in the second half,” Olavi stuttered.
“Thanks, mate,” he grinned.

Still trying to recover from this meeting with his youth hero, Olavi almost bounced into Bronius Bartkus.

“Sorry, sir,” Olavi spoke, “what an f’ed up loser am I”, he thought. Trying to stop his series of poor meetings with idols, Olavi fled into the nearest door. Toilets, it said. Can’t do much wrong there, not?

The stalls were empty, but one man still stood near the sink. The text between the broad shoulders read ‘ANGST’.

“Is it you, Bronius?” the new national goalie spoke, “could you help me to get that mask back on? It’s an awful thing you know and....”

Whilst pronouncing these last words, the large man turned around.

“You...” Olavi stammered, “you are...”
“Shh...” the keeper whispered and he lay one of his gloves on the lips of the young reporter, “no word.”

Olavi didn’t dare to protest, while the tall man ogled the card around his neck.

“Saraminen, Sports Courier... Let’s make a deal, lad. You seem a starter, richtig?”

Still kept shut with the glove, Olavi nodded.

“We won’t be able to keep up this masquerade for much longer. But today... It’s soon, too soon. I’ll give you the exclusive story once it’s possible. But not yet. Is that a deal?”

XI for Albaie - Buyan

“Palle Angst”
Gabriel Refshauge – Sigurd Tufte – Bronius Bartkus – Kazimieras Zemaitis
Harald Naess – Quinten Zermin
Eero Halmiini – Sverre Devold – Sil Moen
Elmo Havelund

Never change a winning team. There is no reason to take someone off the starters, even if reserves Dalmshelf, Knutsen and Hopp did splendid.

by **Ko-oren** » Sat Mar 29, 2014 3:40 am

Outcountered

The Dragonflies and the fans traveled to Mastille without many worries. The team won their first four games, conceded few goals, and the scoring was all ok. Even after an unconvincing win (though entirely fair, given the flow of the game) on The Sarian, there seemed to be nothing wrong with the team. But against Mastille, not exactly a high-profile opponent, it all seemed to be crashing in on us.

Ko-oren got an easy 67% possession, but with 33% possession, Mastille managed to shoot at Enshadilsa more than the Greenblues shot at their goalkeeper. Some of these attempts did not seem that convincing, but there were some moments that the entire defense seemed to be asleep at the wheel. To prevent anything else from happening, the defensive trio needed some fouls to keep Mastille from scoring. It did not result in bookings, but it did mean that Mastille was given some good opportunities to score from free kicks.

Terathu saved the team after 54 minutes with the 0-1. This was honestly the only highlight of the game, apart from Mastille being seemingly better than the Dragonflies. And not the 'we're better, so why did we lose against a bus-parking team?' kind of better, which honesly happens a lot against the Dragonflies, but a kind of being better than us that we haven't encountered in a while. They were simply a step ahead of us. But individual quality made the difference today, and it's nice to be remembered once in a while of the fact that our team actually does have a lot of individual quality. Now off to The Icemark and Agrincourt, waiting for Sargossa and Filopines to drop points.

Stat of the day

It took the Dragonflies five games to score 9 goals. In World Cup 67, it took us seven games. It took us four in World Cup 66, with the fourth game totaling to 11 goals (in a 5-0 win over Albaie). In World Cup 65, it took us five games, just like this cycle. At that time, the game where the Dragonflies scored their ninth, they even got to their 11th (in a 3-3 draw).

Out of these cycles, World Cup 66 was the only one where the Greenblues did not qualify for the World Cup. This indicates that for now, at the pace the team is going, and combined with the low number of two goals conceded, the team could be again on their way to the main event. This doesn't tell us the entire story: in World Cup 63, where the team did not qualify, the ninth goal was scored in the third game of the qualification cycle! First, the Babbage Islands were beaten 5-2, and the Dragonflies won the next two games 2-0.

by **Greater Watford** » Sat Mar 29, 2014 4:41 am

Joe Davis-GWFA Head Office
Pouring over my notes, I studied the 3 teams we were up against; Mytannion, Sicoutimont and Brenecia. All 3 were ranked ahead of us, and were the 3 expected to get to the playoffs. Mytannion and Sicoutimont were the Top 2, but Brenecia were stuggling. Shame then, we weren’t playing them I suppose. Daniel Ryan came over to me, with his DigiPad in hand.
“Can we do it?” he asked?
“Well if we’re consistent, then yes I think so. But really, we’ll need at least 5 out of 9 points to stay up there.” I responded, thinking about the possible outcomes.
“And if we don’t?”
“Who knows, maybe the Cup of Harmony, but I’m gambling the losing playoff teams will snatch them places.” I contemplated the possibility of qualifying for the Cup of Harmony.
“Well Joe, as long as we’re above 6th in the group, then we’ve improved I guess” I heard my assistant say.
“Hmm…maybe, but we’ve not got a strong group here, I’d hope for a Top 4 place personally, but alas, we could struggle.” I returned to my notes, and considered where changes would need to be made. Certainly, the feud between Gianpedro and Mario was easing off, but if it kicked off again, then something would need to give. I just hoped it wouldn’t come to that, finding a new manager is never easy.

Gianpedro Dominico-Pre-game
I saw 23 sit before me, with mixed expressions. Some were optimistic, some looked worried, and some just looked a little down. I guess my recent anger wasn’t helping, and a slightly calmer response is needed. “Right, Mytannion are top seeds, but don’t let that put you off. Remember, we drew at the Archregimancy in WC67, so we can do it.” I strode over to the whiteboard behind me, and grabbed a marker. “Look guys, when you see players making a run in from a corner, move across like this” I shifted some of the pieces with my hand, “Make sure you stay goalside of them, they have to shoot long then”.
As the players lined up in the tunnel, I saw Alessandro, my assistant stride over. “So, you’re playing Mario huh?” he said, with a hint of suspicion in his voice.
“Guess so, the media didn’t like my attitude.” I said.
“What about others, upstairs”, Alessandro shot a glance towards the executive boxes.
“Who? Davis?” I said, with raised eyebrows.
“Yeah.”
“How’d you find out these things Alessandro?”
“There are people speaking in hushed voices when I was in the offices yesterday. Oh, and I’d aim for a Top 4 finish”. Alessandro finished his statement, and wandered back to the dressing room, picking up a crate of water bottles. I stood there, arms folded, contemplating the situation. I sensed a brewing confrontation building in the background.

Mario Mannetti-83rd minute Greater Watford 0-2 Mytannion
“Oh come on!” I shouted, as another header went wide. It wasn’t our game, and Mytannion were up 2-0. The defenders were certainly being aggressive, that was for sure. Their fans seemed very loud as well, and they weren’t holding back with their feelings. I rushed back to the centre line, waiting for the kick off. As I rushed past, one of the defenders blocked me off, nearly sending me to the floor. “What the hell, man? You got some sort of issue?”, I shouted. They had been at it all game, and I was on the receiving end of many of their tackles.

A minute later, and the ball came forward. I chased it down, towards the touchline, with 2 Mytannion defenders giving chase. I could see the dugout, and the ball a few yards in line, as I attempted to flick it across field. I felt my foot slip however, as 2 hands shoved me into the ground. I crashed into the dugout, nearly wiping out Gianpedro and Milo, who leapt to his feet in anger. I was angry, as I saw Tikhon Voronin standing over me in a mock plea of innocence.

I don’t know why I did it, but I lashed out at him, striking a strong blow across the face. He fell, clutching his face, and several Mytannions, both on the pitch and in the technical area, rushed in. Hands and legs were seen everywhere, it was a melee, and a stray water bottle was even thrown. The crowd booed and cheered at the same time, as stewards had to come and break up the fight. The whistle blew, and I saw the referee walk over to me. I barely glanced at the red card he held, as I stormed into the dugout, ripping the remains of my shirt off, as I entered the tunnel. If there was any consolation, I saw a few Mytannions, along with Peter and Milo (who wasn’t even on the pitch) follow me into the dugout.

by **Kernansquillec** » Sat Mar 29, 2014 4:59 am

A guide to the life of a “traditional” Kernansquillecan football fan

1. Once a child is born his parents will always convert they newborn son or daughter to the club that they support. If ever the parents support different teams a family feud opens up in most cases, with the female side winning most of the time due to the common underhand tactic of a “sex strike”.

2. When the child’s club has been decided, surrounding him with elements of the club is all important. His or her “first time” should always come at a home game. Opposition is of little importance. Teaching him or her the club’s songs is however critical. As such it is expected of young supporters to pick up the songs pretty quickly once he or her reaches an age where speech is possible. A child whose first word is “football” or the name of his club is often regarded as a child destined to be a hardcore fan and goes to testify as to the brilliant job his or her parents are doing in raising him or her.

3. From the age of 8 or 9 years old a child will get his or her first season ticket. By now the basic songs are known well and the more complicated (rude) songs start to be learnt. Swearing by a young child at a football ground is commonplace. However very few tolerate such behaviour outside of the stadium unless in another football related situation.

4. As a teenager a phase known as “parental rejection’ occurs during which a child decides to either give up supporting his or her parents’ club or, worse still, decides to support a different club; in some extreme cases, the club in question may even be the rivals of the original club.

5. If the teenager continues to take an interest in football his participation will increase in passion and will move further away from his close family to his friends from the same club. After reaching late teenhood and early adulthood the fan could start taking a leading role in the stadium’s “ambiance creation”.

6. After this radical spell that can last until the mid-50s the supporter will start to take a couple of steps back so as to blood in the new generations. He or she will also start this process on his or hers children.

7. In the latter end of life football fandom does continue. However only the most diehard supporters will continue to venture to the same week in, week out and participate in the usual singing and banter activities.

8. All season ticket holders and former season ticket holders who pass away are remembered by their club in a different manner. Most choose a match day where they remember all those who have been lost. It is also not uncommon for a football fan to be buried with an item of his club, be it a football shirt, scarf or flag.

KERFA Overview

Bears Armed 0 - 1 KERNANSQUILLEC
Poutre 72'

KERNANSQUILLEC 4 - 1 Arkiasis
Iris 8' Noupen 24' 43' Gigode 85' // Bradley 3'

Saintland 3 - 1 KERNANSQUILLEC
S. Vagionius 40' J. Flaccus 59' Karoki 70' // Kellah 52'

Kernansquillec's currant league position: 3rd/8 (3-0-2, +5)

Next game: vs. Arab County (at the National Stadium, Kernansquillec City, Kernansquillec)

Expected starting line-up: Kate Elyssa; Mary Cressac, Julian Yegos, Jean Dubois, Stuart Kellah; Julia Fengouli, Silvio Quaby, Marie Iris, Zac Poutre, Adélaïde Noupen; Peter Lilac

by **Apox** » Sat Mar 29, 2014 5:41 am

Forged in Fire - Part Five

Sparks of Revolution
Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Part Five
Part Six

Forged in Fire
Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four

Boats were arriving in Urbanista harbour in great numbers in the first few days since the catastrophe. Dockyard workers were helping the boats get in and helping their shocked and traumatised looking passengers get off, and which point they were taken to emergency shelter for the immediate future, whilst the old government of Old Guard and the Apoxian government could find somewhere to house them permanently. Rumours were already spreading about expanding southwards into the largely empty deep south to house the influx of people.

In the shadow, next to one of the fishing warehouses, stood Jeff Jones and Joe Carlton, surveying the scene. At the moment, the dockworkers were dealing with a heavily laden fishing boat, with at least 20 people squashed into it. Further along a group of Old Guardians were being led into a minibus which sped off along the dockside road.

“This shit is ridiculous!” exclaimed Joe, “There are fuck loads of them!” Jeff sighed, before turning to Joe.

“Mate, where else were they going to go? I don’t have a problem with the Old Guardians themselves, I just want to exploit them to gain Olfan independence.” Joe wasn’t being turned.

“Filling up our country… They’ll be stealing our jobs and sponging off benefits soon.” Jeff tutted, and walked forwards a bit, pulling a pair of binoculars up to his eyes, to get a better look at some of the officials working the docks.

“How is the Exton branch doing? Any new recruits?” he asked Joe. He already knew the answers but he hated the silence, and needed to fill it with something. Joe was quick to reply, his thirst to get things done helpfully meant he had an exceptionally good memory.

“Members are rapidly joining, especially since Old Guard fucked itself over. I reckon things are looking good, and here in Urbanista too. Public opinion is swaying towards our cause.” Jeff took this information in, diplomatically grunting as a response, continuing to survey the harbour.

“Come on Jeff! Let’s cut the shit. We’re ready for an uprising. While the gov might have a vague idea that we’re continuing along, they won’t be expecting an uprising.” Jeff lowered his binoculars angrily and turned on Joe.

“It’s not my call to make you fuckwit. We need to let John work his way in through Government House. The Apoxian forces aren’t just gonna roll over and let us take Olfa back.” Joe opened his mouth to argue back, before closing it again and sulking off.

“I’ll see you in the car,” he said, from a distance.

“Too right.”

***

Life had been hectic for Jack Greybold and John the True in Dwile over the last few days since Old Guard had fallen, as they’d tried to piece together everything and work out a good plan. After all, it wasn’t everyday a close neighbour blew up and relocated. There weren’t exactly protocols for this sort of thing.

John the True had discovered to his dismay that the helicopter carrying King Reuben’s children and his wife had crashed, probably spectacularly, at some point over Old Guard. After showing Jack Greybold the piece of paper given to him by King Reuben at the end, they both agreed that it was him who should lead the country forwards.

It had taken some adjusting to, and he still didn’t feel mentally prepared. He had spent most of the last few days discussing the logistics of setting up a new country, or perhaps even a semi-autonomous region of Apox in the south. Looking over the sketchy maps of the areas, it appeared the only habitable lands would really only be quite close to the coast. The further in towards The Commune you went, the more the land became arid and desertlike. Not good.

One of his great friends, Kalister the Free had arrived in Dwile about a day after John the True. Instantly pledging allegiance to him, John had sent him and a detachment of Apoxian SRS troops to the empty lands in the south to scout out a suitable place to build New Oldem.

Jack Greybold had been a godsend, a really likeable and helpful character. The two had instantly built a good rapport, and John knew that they would be able to work very well together in the future.

It doesn't take much to realise the real good players for a team, the ones who you'll look back on in days to come, sigh, and go "Damn, those guys were good". With this current batch of players you look around the team for a short while before you find him. Matthias Sindelar, the captain and hero of the team. His pace may be a little diminished with age, but his leadership, his vision, his grit, his ability to turn around the game; these aspects have not changed in the nine years he has played National Team football. You look at his performance in the Yttribia game - it is not his fault that Apox didn't score, he's a defensive midfielder. It is testament to his ability that the best two Apoxian chances in the game stemmed from him. His shot in the 14th minute which took a great stop to keep out, and him nearly setting up Martin Roskorwell on goal were it not for a fantastic bit of last ditch defending.

It is apt that his 50th cap in an Apoxian shirt should see him play one of his best matches for the national team yet - and that is saying something as he has had many top matches in his time. Some Yttribian fans will have been mildly upset that the star, and most famous face of the team wasn't playing, Tolgus Tregajorran, however, they needn't have worried. In Matthias Sindelar, you have perhaps one of the best, all round footballers this nation has ever produced. If you picked a national side from any age in Apoxian footballing history, he would walk into it.

Not only that, but he's always been a leader on the pitch. He may have had his debut relatively late on by Apoxian standards, aged 25 at the time, but that meant he was only more experienced. Captain of the side since World Cup 66, and therefore captain for 40 of those 50 international caps - that speaks volumes about the man.

For years up until now, we have regarded two men as the best Apoxian footballers of the modern era, Dravid Scott and Olim Benzari. Dravid was the star for the first half of Apox's international career, and he is the highest goalscorer. Olim Benzari, for his longevity, the length of servitude to the national team. He is the record caps holder. However, in terms of all-round ability, attitude and leadership, they have a challenger to the table, a man who will undoubtably be spoken of in glowing terms when it comes to his career.

by **Boring Paradise** » Sat Mar 29, 2014 5:58 am

Group 8

Farfadillis (#9)
Boring Paradise (#40)
Cosumar (#70)
Sameba (#111)
Catholican Catholica (#153)
Usjekhipstahf (#238)
Alsacie (#316)
The Andromeda Islands (#UR)

MD1: 9-2 Alsacie (H)
MD2: 2-4 Farfadillis (A)
MD3: 2-0 The Andromeda Islands (H)
MD4: 4-4 Cosumar (H)
MD5: 2-3 Sameba (A)
MD6: vs Catholican Catholica (H)
MD7: vs Usjekhipstahf (A)
MID-QUAL
MD8: vs Alsacie (A)
MD9: vs Farfadillis (H)
MD10: vs The Andromeda Islands (A)
MD11: vs Cosumar (A)
MD12: vs Sameba (H)
MD13: vs Catholican Catholica (A)
MD14: vs Usjekhipstahf (H)

Chapter 12

World Cup 68|MD 2-4

Well after the 9-2 victory over Alsacie at the Paradisian North Park. Raiyaan Malik scored 5 goals past the goalie, while Sameer Jaklim and Hishaam Ali scored twice each. At this moment in time, this was the highest scoreline so far in this World Cup.

Matchday 2: Farfadillis @La Fantás
Well, the most important match in this World Cup calender for us so far. World ranked 9th against the Paradisians, who are ranked 40th in the world. Well the match didn't go well in the end.

The Paradisians had started the game being fierce in terms of defense, it slowly started to become weaker and weaker in the paradisian defence, and then the defence got torn apart without a lot of effort in the 20th minute. Kâí had dribbled a Paradisian inside the box and shot to the left post with the outside of his right foot.

Later in the first have, to his dismay, Boring Paradise managed to turn the tables. First of all, Armours scored after going one-on-one challenge with Lisdiren, and five minutes later Wong shot a penalty kick powerfully to the centre, one of the worst way of shooting penalties in some people's opinion, with Lisdiren diving to the right vigorously Wong had made the 45th minute score 2-1 to the Away team. This wasn't good for the Farf fans out there.

But then Farfadillis had been able to equalize just before half time, however, thanks in part to Delafuente. First, Fôx dribbled Patterson and cut in. Then, he connected a precise through pass to Roga, who then with might and main shot to the right, making the ball hit the post. After that, the ball went to him, who was just on the edge of the box. Osama Homewood was already almost perfectly on his place once again, and he was never that good of a dribbler anyway. Well, he assisted a sprinting Dandalleion with a one-touch through pass. Dandalleion then shot to the right post, with the ball barely avoiding the goalkeeper. Then in the second half, it has seemed like the paradisian team had lost all will to play. And then in the end of the match we took the 4-2 defeat and carried on.

Matchday 3: The Andromeda Islands @Paradisian North Park
Well after my overall preview of the group, I had said that the Paradisians will be able to beat them heavily but that didn't happen at all in this game. It was exciting at some points but not in the rest of the match.

In the 30th minute, Kevin Harris, who was dribbling across the wing, got tackled by the Andromedian Full Back. The defender got a yellow card and allowed a free kick. Samuel Wong crossed it into the box, with his left foot, where Jaklim was waiting for the volley, but the ball only clipped it and then Armours came from no where and kicked it into the place of the net where the goalkeeper couldn't reach. Nothing else really happened for the next 50th minutes. Then one again in the 81st minute, Raiyaan Malik broke through the defence and then became one on one with the goalkeeper, and he sent the goalkeeper the wrong way and then the match ended 2-0.

Matchday 4: Cosumar @Paradisian North Park

With our current record of 2-0-1, and the Dragons record of 3-0-0, it will be a close game once again, with the Drgaons being drawn in our qualifying group since World Cup 66, the Dragons have a good morale after overpowering Farfadillis 5-3 when we failed and lost 4-2. but anyways our current record against Cosumar has been 2-1-1. With the two wins coming in World Cup 66 and then the loss and draw in World Cup 67. This match has shown a lot of strength in both teams with neither of them beating the other in one of our crucial matches for the World Cup.

In the 10th minute, the Dragon's striker, Renault making a smooth pass to the other one, Na'Safeh who then scored when he it had just been out of reach for Osama Homewood. Five minutes later, Sameer Jaklim broke through the defence after outrunning the two defenders, Pearce and Assad, making a one on one challenge with the Dragon goalkeeper, Koskinen. Jaklim shot it to the right using his left foot, but then he blocked it, but then it had hit the corssbar, and it looked like it was going in but it didn't. Raiyaan Malik had came from behind and headed the ball into the net after it rebounded off the crossbar.

In the 38th minute, Samuel Wong ran the length of the field and crossed it into the box where Malik Jaklim and Ali were waiting, but it had got intercepted by Miyori and created the counter-attack. he crossed it to Petrov, surpassing all laws of physics on the way, like nobody even cared about it as it was an interesting counter-attack for both fans to see. He ran into the box, where Arora was waiting but also alon with Osama and Alklani. But from the defense came Miyori, Petrov, passed it to Miyori who was unmarked and then they had scored to make it 2-1. But before the Paradisians Fans knew it, the Dragons had clawed two more goals in the space of five minutes. Andsman-Savage scored them from one on one challenge with Osama, he hasn't been on form this match, will he be replaced by Pili for the next match against Sameba. At half time the fans were disappointed and also were the players after seeing the 4-1 half time score not in their favor.

In the second half, the Paradisian Manager, Grzegorz Wasiliewski, change the tactics which worked very well. Raiyaan Malik scored two more goals from the semi-circle just outside the box. Then in the dying minutes of stoppage time, Kevin harris, scored a goal, with the fans cheering, no wonder they were the Paradisians had just drew against Cosumar when they were 4-1 down at the end of the first half. The players were all crowding around Harris, with the Dragons left the stadium pondering on how they had lost their 3 goal lead.

Match Reports for Sameba and Catholican Catholica will come next time. Hope you keep reading.

Ghostly Story|Chapter 13

"Alright, I will tell you Jake. It was me." Yusef said after a long moment of silence.

"That clears that up" Jake had said eventually. "Where are we heading to Johno?"

Johno pointed at the mountain and spoke, "We are going there, mate. That place is called the Mountain of Paradisia, but we are not going there for a trip but me and Lucas need to tell you a secret about that mountain, that our families have kept secret for many centuries. In that mountain is a cave, that no one knows about apart from us two. But we have decided to spread it. In that mountain, is an object stuck inside a chest, sworn not to open until its the right time. But we are already running out of time to use it. Soon the chest will open by itself then the scriptures of old will rise again and then the blood of the dead people will fall."

"Along with the freak whether we have been having recently in this country, it is about time as well. When hell rises and Devuilo will appear once again." Lucas said with the stare that Jake and Yusef never seen before.

The car rushed down the highway, the rain still pouring down. Lucas, Johno, Jake and Yusef, together once again, like their children in front of them all working together on the Paradisian Team. WIll they ever come back?

Then Malik and Johno Jr, the families of ancient times. Had not kept their oath, and may lead to certain death for all Paradisians on the face of the world. May Devuilo rise but those may stay strong when the battle comes, they will be defeated. The devil will overrule the kingdom waiting for the best chance to rule the whole land. It is all up to Johno and Lucas, and the new secret holders, Jake Jaklim and Yusef Ali, keep the country stable, or will there be consequences to come? Only time will tell, the time loop as we write it still going on, at the center of the Mountain of Paradisia.

Another Extract from Something from Somewhere by Someone who can tell the future in precise detail about this thing that is going to happen during the World Cup 68

by **Zenic** » Sat Mar 29, 2014 6:01 am

So close yet so far

I wish I could write about our national team upsetting one of the top 25 teams in the world. That, somehow, our team went against all odds and won the game to position themselves in first. Well, I’ll have to save that for another time as our national team lost against heavyweight Pasarga. However, I do bear good news: we only lost 3-2.

Now, you might be wondering why that’s a good thing: there’s actually two reasons why that’s a good thing. First, it doesn’t set us back too far: our goal differential only went down to +6 and we moved down two spots to fourth. As you can see, we are still in contention for a top-3 finish in the first half of qualifying with two games to go. Second, we are the only team to keep the game close. Every other team has lost by at least 4 goals while we only lost by 1 single goal.

Pasarga got off to a quick start with a goal in the 9th minute by the player on fire in these qualifiers, Tobias Möller. Thankfully, Zenic struck back with a goal for Ayaode in the 15th minute. It appeared as if the first half would end in a draw until Gavin Barnsley delivered a pin-point accurate pass to twin Daniel O. Barnsley to net Zenic a second goal, ending the half 2-1 in favor of Zenic. You could see from across the stadium the joy that Sanders, the players and the staff had leading one of the universe’s best teams at halftime. Though, the joy did not last long as immediately after the second half begun, Valentina Mijatović headed the ball in for an easy score off an immaculate corner by Løver Storås. A few minutes later, the decisive goal was made by none other than Tobias Möller himself. After that, Zenic tried to play catch up and Pasarga ended up playing keep away.

It’s a tough loss with an inspirational message hidden in it: a message saying that Zenic is a force to be reckoned with, even now as a youngling in the sports world. Hopefully, they can start to use that force to get some much needed victories against top teams as they head to West Angola for matchday 6.

Xavier Magnusson is one of the oldest and most respected sports writers at the Leinz Herald. Having 32 years of award-winning journalism and experience covering both domestic and international association football competitions, it is only appropriate that he would be the one to cover the Empire’s first ever international tournament. Magnusson will also be attending and covering the 55th Baptism of Fire, 68th World Cup and any other subsequent international association football tournament Zenic enters for many years to come.

by **Barunia** » Sat Mar 29, 2014 6:12 am

Despite what some Audioslavian card manufacturers might think, every Barunian football fan knows the Suns debuted in World Cup 64. They would also be able to tell you that the Suns made it to the play-offs of that cycle. Most would be able to name our opponents for those play-offs as West Angola. Many would, with a sad shake of their heads, be able to tell you that the Suns lost their chance in the away game with a 5-2 defeat. But few would be able to name a player from that West Angolan side. If they could, it's likely the name would be Luke Parrish, and not John Blevit. But he was a starting midfielder on that fateful day.

Since then, Barunia and West Angola have never met, leaving the Suns unable to settle the score. West Angola have been distracted by more political concerns, including the revolution of the Cabindan Free State. The hero of the revolution is the same John Blevit, the same Blevit who, many years ago, ran circles around such Barunian greats as Montoya, Centena and Sagoro. And it is the same John Blevit who is now head coach of the Cabindan Free State football team. While the team that takes to the field at United Stadium tomorrow might not be the same as the one that played in West Angola all those years ago, the memory of that game still lingers. Every Barunian footballer since has sought to imitate the performance of that team, and with last cycle's squad going even further, hope will be high for the Sun's sixth straight win in qualifying. A chance to stick it to John Blevit in recompense for that old heartbreak will make victory all the sweeter.

by **Gloriax** » Sat Mar 29, 2014 6:38 am

THE CLASHES
PART 1
PART 2

Hunter was now sinking in sadness. His greatest inspiration of life had gone… Now he had no-one to guide him through their qualifying group… Which was tough, tougher than anything they faced in the past:

GROUP 17

Eura
The Licentian Isles
San Jose Guayabal
Nova Anglicana
Gloriax
The Holy Forden Church
The Vilkings

The Group of “Inevitable” Death…” Hunter thought to himself, as Matt Gray, the team’s most promising goalkeeping prodigy (and captain), came forward, and said, “Sir, this is our second World Cup, hopes of 60 million people are counting on us to fulfill their dream, sir, and we can do this!”. Hunter’s mind shifted immediately to the task at hand, even though his thinking was not yet clear, and his thoughts blurred with the memories of his father…

Hunter’s dad’s funeral was quick, keeping in mind the team had to reach Nova Anglicana as fast as possible to acclimatize themselves to the climate there…

Just as they were all hooded-up and walking quite in a sad mood towards the Titania International Airport, a youthful guy wearing a shirt with the GSA logo emblazoned on his chest….

“What now?” Hunter said to himself as he strode towards the GSA guy, and took put down his hood.

“Mr. Hunter?” the guys said, “Mr. Franks is calling for you at the headquarters…”

Mr. Ross Franks was GSA boss, the man who had always tried to give something better to Gloriax, in terms of football, (or some confused people might want to say “soccer”)…

Just then, a limousine cam ‘round the corner… The GSA-guy said, “Sirs, if you please…”

Each of 23 Gloriaxian players, and their revered manager, Paul Hunter, went on reluctantly into the limo… They knew they’ve landed up in trouble…

The limo rushed through the busting streets of Titania, and reached the dashing office (headquarters) of the GSA…

The whole contingent took off their hoods once inside the building… It looked strangely empty…

Out of the blue, there came Ross Franks. “Mr. Hunter?” asked Franks, “Would you care to explain things?”.

Hunter wasn’t afraid of anybody – he went for the straight answer (a bit hesitatingly, since he needed to keep his job to fulfill his dad’s dream), just when Franks interrupted “I don’t need any explanation, right now, but you have to accept all that I say next, unconditionally…. Agreed?”

“What?” retorted Hunter, “what do you mean?”

“Don’t get scared, I won’t fire you… Just follow me…” Franks said as he walked away.

ISideWith UK · by **Eastfield Lodge** » Sat Mar 29, 2014 6:54 am

OOC: This takes place at the same time as Ossidiacqua's time ... disaster? Plus, I really can't be bothered to do one of my traditional pre-qualifying RPs (don't worry, my rubbish pre-last-matchday RP will still happen).

At the Eastfield Lodge Portal Control Centre...

"Guys? Have you seen what's going on?"

Jim Hatton, the youngest technician at the centre, was staring unblinkingly at the monitor screen, trying to make sense of the figures now being produced before him.

"What are you talking about?"

"These resonance figures are weirdly high. And the resonance pattern is something I've never seen before."

"You've only been working here a couple of years, of course you won't have seen that before. Shift, let me see."

Ryad Abdalla, the supervising scientist, went over to Jim's desk and studied the screen.

"I've seen figures like that before..."

"Where?"

"That's just it. I can't remember. But that resonance pattern, I definitely haven't ever seen that before. The pattern's supposed to ellipsoidal or even spherical, centred on Mount Salt particle accelerator that's still interminably powering the void."

"So, what does this mean?"

"Either our sensors have been dislodged, and by a sizeable margin at that, or something has gone wrong with the very fabric of reality itself. A time disturbance, or given the nature of the effect, more likely a time hurricane, whose source is either very close or very intense. Maybe even both, and god help us if it is."

"Is it even possible for the sensors to do that?"

"It shouldn't be. Hasn't happened before, not in the 20-odd years we've been monitoring the void. But I sincerely hope that is the case."

"Why?"

"Put it this way. If a time storm did ever happen that could affect the void this significantly, this void could just shut itself up, with devastating consequences on both sides. Not least our side, because that's where the power source is located. And I shudder to think the effects it would have on the z-neutrino core, and the consequences of that. Alternatively, it could destabilize the void and both universes could be sucked in and destroyed. It took Oneirologists from the Dreamed Realm to stop things going haywire when Jose Miguel activated the void, and I'd say this could rival that..."

"You've made your point. This is bad, I get it. First things first, can we even check up on the sensors, and secondly, exactly how long have we got, in the worst realistic scenario?"

"Well, we managed to install them in the first place, so yes, we can check on them. And to answer your second question, I honestly do not know."

by **Vettrera** » Sat Mar 29, 2014 7:48 am

Trinity Row.Row. It was hard to remember how Beatrice felt about having to transfer them. It was a weird combination of releif and dissapointment, if that even made since. The Academy was a living hell for her.Trinity Row would be her relief, he way out, and her salvation. Sometimes you need to go where nobody knows your name. And if anybody needed that,it was Beatrice. When Beatrice got to Trinity Row, things instantly got better. She was still allowed to play on the school's soccer team, she got along well with her roommate, and nobody would know that she was the one who had brought down the Academy.

Beatrice was well acclimated to her new school. And it was there where she'd experience the highest level of happiness that she would ever achieve in her lifetime. This would be the first time since her abortion that Beatrice would allow herself to love, and come out of her shell once again.
It was there where she would meet Marshall. He played on the school basketball team, and he would also be in her Regional History class. From the start, they got along well. And eventually, they would start dating. Soon they became the school's power couple. There was no group that nearly matched them in status or popularity, but it's not like that was important. To them, nobody else even mattered. Nobody else could comprehend or understand their love for eachother. They were happy together, and there was nothing that could ruin their bond. Except Time.

Upon graduation from Trinity Row, they had to go their second ways. Marshall would go on to join the army. Beatrice would become a spy. Marshall would become a provincial governor. Beatrice would become a collegiate soccer coach. Marshall would become president. Beatrice would become the leader of PUSH. They would go on separate paths only meeting on rare occasions....their love for each other would endure, but their relationship would not.

by **New Montreal States** » Sat Mar 29, 2014 8:30 am

WEEKLY MULTIVERSE NEWS

"We Rush to Print Where Angels Fear to Tread"

Vol 49., No 12

Bigfoot Spotted Managing Nouvelle Ecosse National Side

Nouvelle Ecosse national team manager Pierre Mossebien is a highly respected coaching legend in his home country, called to the colors out of retirement to lead a new and rising side on their slow climb into the upper echelons of the international game, and maybe steal a playoff spot in Group 9.

Or is he?

Sources close to The Rampant Walrus have exclusively informed the Weekly Multiverse News that Mossbien is actually Bigfoot in a expensive suit. Speaking anonymously, one trainer told us that Mossbien's "private film study room" is actually a spa where Bigfoot gets a full-body wax once every 72 hours, a process that witnesses describe as being "unbelievably gross."

Nouvelle Ecosse's up-and-down start, meanwhile, can be attributed to Bigfoot getting his coaching legs under him. One played, speaking to the Weekly Multiverse News off the record, said that Nouvelle Ecosse's 10-2 blowout romp over Wesleyia was sparked by a pregame speech in which Bigfoot smashed a locker-room bench over his forehead and devoured, in one gulp, an entire whole chicken from the pre-game lunch.

Why would Bigfoot walk away from the fairly steady life he had built for himself in the last several years? Previous editions of the Weekly Multiverse News have detailed how Bigfoot had settled down as a second shift production-line supervisor at a juice bottling plant (Vol. 47, No. 22), been elected union treasurer (Vol. 47, No. 45), found love at a holiday-time speed dating event (Vol. 48, No. 1) and played the Earl of Kent in a community-theatre production of King Lear (Vol. 48, No. 37).

Sources at the bottling plant, however, have told the Weekly Multiverse News that Bigfoot was fired after a government-mandated recall of over 75,000 bottles of cranberry juice that contained loose body hairs. At that point, one can understand why he'd be open to relocating to Nouvelle Ecosse

Does the Entire Holy Empire Roster Consist of Sex Offenders?

Juan Tzimisces and Simeone di Brandini have decided to trot out a starting 11 of Mr. Beans that are not only fantastically uncoordinated, but also mostly incapable of speech, past a few one-word basso profundo remarks. It seemed like a terrible football strategy at the time. The Holy Empire, however, has shown no sign whatsoever of deviating from their usual onslaught of qualification victories, and this side of physical comedians seems to be nothing more than another self-imposed challenge by di Brandini and Tzimisces, partly to avert boredom, and partly to keep the multiverse from collapsing.

This time, however, they've gone too far.

Exclusive video footage obtained by the Weekly Multiverse News shows one or more of the "Mr. Beans" skulking about a public pool in his birthday suit, before exposing their twig and berries to a women's swim team as they exited their dressing room on their way to practice. This scandalous footage raises two important questions: 1) are the Holy Empire's footballers legally banned from coming within 500 ft. of public spaces, like football stadiums? And, more chillingly, 2) if they aren't, how have these disgusting perverts escaped justice before now?

Former classmates have also given the Weekly Multiverse News exclusive off-the-record recordings of Holy Empire starters trying to steal answers off of their classmate's exam sheets.

Most shockingly for an Orthodox nation like the Holy Empire, their entire side seems to not only be Anglican, but Lowest of the Low Church Anglicans.

Tzimisces and di Brandini seem to think that their past successes allow them to get away with anything. If they can get away with this, they just might be right.

Inside this week's edition:

PAGE 3: Does the Dallas family really do everything naked? (hint: Yes!)
SHOCKER IN SCHIAVONIA: The real reason they've come back
VALANORA VS. STARBLAYDIA: Nobody's gonna get out alive
WHICH CELEBRITY was tazed in a supermarket parking lot in a drug deal gone horribly wrong?

Everything in this newspaper is pure, uncut balderdash

by **Razul** » Sat Mar 29, 2014 9:57 am

From: gquintero@rzlmail.com
To: emmilialr@rzlmail.com

Ugh. Concede two goals to Ossidiacqua and we're knocked right back down to sixth in the group. That game was . . . good actually. If we had taken a few more shots we could have won it. Which doesn't mean that I'm going to let Rawlins off the hook for not getting back on that attack. (Don't worry Emilia you don't have to warn him to leave the country, I'm only going to work with him on ACTUALLY GETTING BACK TO HELP THE DEFENSE). Anyway, I don't think we have anything to be ashamed of in that game. On another note, I've been hearing some interesting stories about other countries. You know, they have this novel idea where the government actually helps fund sports. Maybe if there was some sort of assassination plot against the president or health bureau head it would make them sit up and take notice . . . It's an idea anyway.

See you,
Gavin

From: emmilialr@rzlmail.com
Reply to: gquintero@rzlmail.com

Some day, scary secret service agents are going to come and take you away for questioning Gavin. Really, our government does have other stuff it's spending money on. And it wont be for lack of money if our team loses during the Group Stage. I've been happy to have a few wins. The best way to encourage the gov to fund the team is to play our best. So be there. 8:00 sharp.

See you then,
Emmilia

by **The Archregimancy** » Sat Mar 29, 2014 10:01 am

"...the smooth, smooth sounds of the Troparion of the Resurrection in the Second Tone. Nice.

But now here on Monastic Radio, we're lucky to have with us in the studio Fr. Alexander James of famous monastic singing sensations the Backstreet Monks. Pray for me, Fr. Alexander James."

"I am the lowliest worm of a monk wretch, Fr. John, and I hope you'll pray for me in turn."

"So, if I understand correctly, you're accompanying the Archregimancy's national team to all of the their WC68 qualifiers."

"That's right, Fr. John; we're trying to show the young heathens and heretics of Ordinary Reality that Orthodox Monasticism isn't all fasting and praying..."

"Except that it is"

"Well yes; but it's also about using your talents that God has provided you for the benefit of the whole monastic community. Some of us cook; some of us write icons; some of us sing; some of us write learned theological treatises...."

"...and some of us sing Orthodox-themed popular music."

"That's right, Fr. John - that's us!"

"And what do you say to your critics who complain that your musical style is anathema - in the figurative sense, I hasten to add - to traditional Orthodox liturgical music."

"Well, Fr. John... if you'll forgive me for pointing this out, they're focusing on a very narrow range of our music; they're clearly ignoring our complete cycle of troparia and kontakia of the Early Church Fathers...

Grace shining forth from your lips like a beacon has enlightened the universe. / It has shown to the world the riches of poverty; / it has revealed to us the heights of humility. / Teaching us by your words, O Father John Chrysostom, / intercede before the Word, Christ our God, to save our souls!

...the troparion in the 8th tone of St. John Chrysostom being a personal favourite. They're also perhaps unaware of our double concept album The Akathist Of the Mother of God."

"But for this current tour you're focusing on more secular tunes, I understand?"

"They all have an Orthodox theme, Fr. John."

"But what about accusations that your presence is proving an unfortunate distraction to the squad this qualifying campaign - there's a lot of disappointment over last night's shock 1-0 loss to Glaser...."

"These are early days, Fr. John. The team are still very much in touch, and in the meantime we're going to focus on bringing the positive message of the fullness of Orthodoxy to Ordinary Reality's youth."

"There are rumours you might be collaborating with MC Monky L-Man..."

"It's not something we'd rule out; if the L-Man gets in touch, we'll certainly listen to what he has to say."

"Or with some of the Dallas whores..."

"No. I can rule that one out. Categorically not."

"Glad to hear it. And would you like to choose a song of yours for the next track?"

"How about 'Show us the Meaning of Being Monky' off our Millenium album?"

"Absolutely...."

Show me the meaning of being monky
So many words for the praying heart....

by **Chiata** » Sat Mar 29, 2014 10:05 am

The Secret War
Part 7

Captain Wiggens (over the ship's loud speakers)- Hello passengers, and welcome to the Red Wood. Unfortunately, your stay is highly illegal and violates international maritime law. You have ten seconds to get off my ship before you are dealt with as pirates.

*Wiggens checks the security cameras and sees the pirates continuing to invade his ship

Captain Wiggens- Very well.

Captain Wiggens (now talking to himself)- Now one messes with my ship!

*Wiggens turns his ship hard to starboard. A sickening crunch is heard as two of the pirate speed boats are crushed under the hull.

*Next, Wiggens turns sharp to port and crushes one other boat. There are only four pirate boats left.

*The twin engines are cranked up to full gear and the Red Wood begins to make 30 knots. This sudden change of speed yanks the grapples away on the ship's railing, thus separating the pirates aboard the Red Wood from the ones on their remaining transport boats.

Captain Wiggens (loud speakers)- You give up yet? Or do you want to do some real dancing?

Pirate- We will get you, you Chiatan. And when we do...

*Wiggens remotely takes control of the ship's onboard crane. He turns off the safety speeds on it

Captain Wiggens (to himself)- Won't be needing those.

*The crane is jerked to the left and it hits a pile of cargo. The cargo then fills up a pathway.

Captain Wiggens- (looking at the security camera) So that's where you are...

*Wiggens swings around the crane. This time he topples cargo onto a pirate, effectively trapping him.

*Suddenly, the glass around the bridge explodes as bullets crash through it. Wiggens forces himself to the ground to avoid the enemy fire.

Pirate- We have him now!

Captain Wiggens- Not quite...

*Wiggens runs towards the fuel room. On his way he radios for his crew to abandon ship and grabbes a sirtain piece of cargo.

*Three bullets buzz over Wiggens' head and lodge themselves in a wooden crate.

Pirate- There is no where to run Chiatan. You will pay for your murders!

Captain Wiggens- Come and get me then!

*Wiggens sets his object next to the main fuel tank.

Randeau- And what do you think you're doing?

Captain Wiggens- Making sure the ship is in working order.

Randeau- What's that then?

Captain Wiggens- A bag of tools.

Randeau- Hmm... let me see that. Go back against the wall!

Randeau- This isn't tools it's...

*Wiggens lunges forward and throws a batterie into the bag. Inside the bag, the batteie lands in steel wool. The combination of the two causes a fast spark to form. This ignites the other thing in the bag, plastic explosives.

*The ship explodes sending debris miles in the air. A massive splash made from the blast further distributes the debris via ocean water. Once the splash settles, all that remains of the Red Wood is a floating mass of debris, mostly burning.

by **Alasdair I Frosticus** » Sat Mar 29, 2014 10:28 am

The Fishy Dreams of Mr. Robert Percival

Number 1: the anchovy

I am a small salt water forage fish of the family Engraulidae.

My sleek, silvery green form swims in a vast school of fellow anchovies.

I feel the water rushing through my gills.

When I hunger, I feed upon plankton and newly hatched fish.

I gain much satisfaction from releasing my milt and inseminating the female fish of our school.

But what is this?

I am being pulled up towards the yellow disc above the water!

I cannot breathe!

I am gasping for air on a hard surface!

A human in a gold and red football kit with the name "Tzimisces" across the back (how can I read the back when I can only see the front?) comes towards me and my fellow struggling fishy friends.

He says "When seagulls follow the trawler it is because they think anchovies will be thrown into the sea"

He throws me back towards the sea, and my still-living body is ripped to shreds by newspaper reporters who have taken the form of seagulls...

The dream ends....

by **Nova Anglicana** » Sat Mar 29, 2014 10:35 am

Lions Suffer First Defeat, Still Off to Excellent Start

Hayden Landers, Nova Anglicana Football Today

Due to unforeseen issues with the communications system of Nova Anglicana Football Today, this is the first copy we are releasing since the beginning of World Cup 68. Fortunately, Lions fans have been able to follow their team on the Internet and the television. You all already know what happened, but we're going to recap the first four games for the sake of making up what we missed.

The Lions' first game was a home match against Gloriax in Londinium's own Kelly Park. Gloriax, ranked 139th in the world, was Nova Anglicana's group mate in the 54th Baptism of Fire, and the Lions won 3-2 in their NS Sports debut. They later played Gloriax in the Football Friendship Tournament, which was hosted by Bulgar Rouge, and finished second in that four-team tourney, due in no small part to a pair of 1-0 defeats to Gloriax. I think it safe to say that we have a bit of history with them, and we were looking to level the series. In this game, we had both a satisfactory overall and defensive result, as Raphael Baptiste's 49th-minute goal put the Lions up 1-0 and that proved to be the final margin. Even though he may have lost a bit of a step, he's still as crafty as ever, and he showed it by deking the Gloriax defenders and deftly placing the ball into the net past Matthew Gray. The Stoner brothers, Ian and Phil, each had a chance to equalize, in the 67th and 79th minutes, respectively, but goalkeeper Julian Neal stopped them both.

Next, the Lions traveled to the Holy Forden Church, a nation ranked 264th in the world and who garnered only 3 points in the last edition of the World Cup. The Lions were expecting an easy win, but it was not to be. The Holy Forden Church is composed of men and women of the cloth of that church, playing a 3-4-3 style. The resolute fathers, brothers, sisters, deacons, and bishops of the Church held the Lions scoreless for nearly 82 minutes, but David Pelletier knocked in a header at 81:49, giving the Lions a one-goal lead. Offensively, they were not a huge threat, despite their attacking formation, taking only four shots, and only one on goal. They did, however, do a good job of keeping possession, something that is usually the province of the Lions. A win is a win is a win, but one would like to see a better game against such a weak side.

Yeoman's Stadium in Eboracum played host to the next match, a game against 336th-ranked Blackclyffe, who went just 1-0-4 in the 55th Baptism of Fire. If Lions fans were hoping for a scintillating match, or at least one where the Lions won by a bunch, they were sorely disappointed. Raphael Baptiste scored on a penalty in the 8th minute, and the Lions turtled for the rest of the match. Blackclyffe managed just 1 shot, not on goal, and had just 36% of the possession, but the Lions just played keep-away for most of the game. There were occasional showers of boos during the game, as the fans wanted the Lions to attack and score more goals, but they still applauded when the game was over. Veteran midfielder Cedric Keane was seen arguing with manager Patrick Moran during the game, presumably about being more aggressive, and the confrontation ended with Keane walking off the sideline into the locker room. His spot for the next qualifier would be taken by Emmanuel Moga, the Sudanese immigrant who played so well at the Copa de la Paz two years ago.

Moga did not appear in the qualifier, and Keane would reclaim his spot in the next game, but the Lions' 4th WC qualifying game was a doozy. They went up against Eura, the 4th-ranked nation in the world (highest-ranked opponent the Lions have ever faced) on the road and battled them to a scoreless draw. Skorji Oslograd was a thorn in the side of the Lions all day, playing aggressively, taking away possession, and launching shots on goal. He had six shots by himself, and four of them were on goal. All told, Julian Neal was called on to make nine saves on the day, and another shot by John Spartan pinged off the crossbar and was cleared away by Felix Kelly. The Lions' best chance came at the 54-minute mark, when young Kyle Fleming unleashed a booming shot from just outside the penalty area, but the excellent Chris Waller got a glove on it and deflected it over the goal. All in all, stealing a point on the road from the #4 team in the multiverse is a great success. After this game, the Lions were first in the group with 10 points.

In their 5th qualifying game, the Lions took on the 26th-ranked Licentian Isles, a powerhouse of international football. They played an attacking 4-4-2 style, and it rewarded them with a 1-0 victory at Stade Sept-Iles in Sept-Iles. As is traditional with Licentian football, there were a few minor altercations between fans of both sides, as Licentian Islanders and the Quebécois of Sept-Iles both get fired up about their teams. There were a couple of injuries and some arrests, but it didn't sour relations between the two teams. After the game, Raphael Baptiste said, "These guys are some of the best I've ever played against. Their fans may be rowdy, but on the pitch, they play clean football. And that's part of what makes them so hard to beat. They play very well, and you can't take advantage of a lot of fouls or yellows, like some other teams we've played against. My hat goes off to them."

Despite the defeat, the Lions have 10 points and are 4th in the group, just one point behind leaders San Jose Guayabal and Eura. The Lions will travel to 83rd-ranked SJG next. Some of the younger players on the squad played in the Copa de la Paz in SJG, and are accustomed to the hooliganism and heat, while some others made the trip to Sociedad, SJG, in a pre-qualifying friendly, which the Lions drew 1-1. So even though the atmosphere shouldn't bother them too much, the Guayabalenses will prove a stiff challenge for the Lions. A draw is probably the best outcome on the road, and the Lions will likely need it to stay in contention.

by **Alasdair I Frosticus** » Sat Mar 29, 2014 10:38 am

Dear Weekly Multiverse News

Your highly entertaining publication has recently come to our attention.

We would like to address certain points raised in your recent article Does the Entire Holy Empire Roster Consist of Sex Offenders?.

1) are the Holy Empire's footballers legally banned from coming within 500 ft. of public spaces, like football stadiums?

Not in your reality.

2) if they aren't, how have these disgusting perverts escaped justice before now?

"Disgusting perverts" is a subjective judgement; however, I would note that the team are not currently wanted for criminal offences in your reality.

3) the video footage

We can't deny that this paints individual members of the team in a poor light. We will endeavour to try not to allow them out unsupervised. However, we can categorically deny that the team consists of Low Church Anglicans <shudder>. This is a misunderstanding brought about by a recent failed attempt to engage in ecumenical dialogue between semi-sentient beans in humanoid form and the Anglican church; while the two sides were of similar intellectual coherency, the dialogue foundered over the cheese scones served at the vicarage.

4) Your observation that "Tzimisces and di Brandini seem to think that their past successes allow them to get away with anything".

Well yes, quite. Your point is?

I wish your publication every success; it certainly kept us entertained - do keep up the good work!

Yours Sincerely,

Jorge Botaniates

2nd Middle Secretary of the Imperial Secretariat of the Purple Inkwell

by **Zwangzug** » Sat Mar 29, 2014 11:10 am

Q: If you'll just let me adjust the microphone...thanks. Okay. Besides playing football, of course--or soccer, I suppose--
A: Don't you start.
Q: --what were you doing in school? What did you like to study?
A: Ugh. I'm not a literature person, or math really--biology was all right, studying different plants. I like to try and examine those, that kind of thing. Oh, and my lab partners loved me, I wasn't grossed out by dissecting things! And languages, I guess I'm all right at languages.
Q: Let's hear something.
A: Froggug sederty bungo-bungo?
Q: Touche. But I guess you're not an academic.
A: Of course not. And, actually, the idea of just jumping into football--I don't want an excuse to avoid college, per se, but I didn't want to go along with it just because everyone else was winding up at some mediocre state school. There's too much out there in the world to assume that everyone has to follow the same path, I'm not going to take that for granted.
Q: That seems reasonable.
A: Thanks.
Q: And these days, what do you do off the field?
A: Er...um. Well.
Q: Nothing too embarrassing, I should hope!
A: Oh, goodness no, I'm not a--a football jock. See, there, I did it again, football as in the Abominable Snowmen? It really would be easier just to call ours soccer and be done with it. But I can pick my battles.
Q: Which battles do you like to pick, then?
A: Heh. Okay. Well--it's a little bad timing, is all, on my part. My...My girlfriend broke up with me, a few days ago.
Q: Oh! I'm sorry.
A: We're kids. It wasn't fair, I guess--I told her I'd come back, someday, but she got tired of waiting, and--if I had to do it again--I'd still be here.
Q: Putting up with the food and the trains of Kerlagrad?
A: I love football. But I guess I didn't realize how much.
Q: Until now?
A: Until--thinking about what so many other people go through, to play, just a little, and for what? Until their country's wiped off the map. Gripe about the diaspora and whatever history led to that all you want, you know, but I--Kerlagrad isn't that bad. For a couple days at a time.
Q: I suppose you're onto something.
A: I mean, you're here, aren't you?
Q: For the time being.
A: Yeah.
Q: Well, thank you so much, and good luck today.
A: What?
Q: Good luck today.
A: You're wishing me luck?
Q: Of course! You're part of my team, after all.
A: Yeah. But if I'm coming off the bench, and need luck--what, you think we're going to fall behind to these Kerlagrad nobodies, needing fresh legs for the late winner? I'd love to see it happen. But the competitive balance isn't there.
Q: You never know.
A: If there were enough talent, to beat us--
Q: You're still a kid. Anything's possible. Even--
A: --never mind.
Q: Thanks again, Khamisi.

Kurt Jouet, longtime color commentator for domestic club Rovers United, applies to the seeding committee on the basis of his extensive, if somewhat outdated, interview sessions, begun here and here; these conversations took place early in the WC62 qualifiers. Supplemental material, for more of his broadcasting.

(Wirth 66)

World Cup 68 RP Thread

World Cup 68 RP Thread

#6

The Clashes [PART-3]

OMG SO SALACIOUS

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