World Cup 68 RP Thread

[Brenecia]

http://www.patriotsown.net.bre/sicoutimont_away
ON THE ROAD - SICOUTIMONT vs PATRIOTS

Welcome to On the Road, the newest weekly column on PatriotsOwn.net.bre, in which disillusioned longtime Patriots supporter Harriet Kilbane (@aitchkay) follows our team along the road to what will hopefully be World Cup glory.

Tonight we went to Sicoutimont, which is a pretty tough ask but always a bit of a laugh on account of this is the team that fucking destroyed New Sideburn 7-0 and 5-2 back in the day, but they're also better than us. Still, we haven't lost to them yet in our two matches, and while we haven't really looked invincible in these qualifiers yet we're still a good bet for a point.

Planes are fucking expensive, but at least my local's airing the match. I order a schooner of lager and a Sideburnese takes the piss out of me but that's about what you expect, really, so I remind him of the 7-0 loss and he stops talking. For some reason the pub is airing the buildup, which is always shit, if I wanted to hear idiots speculating about football they know nothing about there's plenty right here in the pub and I realise I've sunk the whole lager just bitterly thinking about it, so I get a second because watching Brenecia sober is something nobody could recommend.

We're taking a pretty full-strength lineup which means everyone's really old, except Constantine Bowyer who's shit instead. Gareth Farrell has also disappeared, presumably because his legs have finally fallen off, which means a forward lineup of Bryson and Kuepper, which means we might actually be good.

Well as the game starts it immediately proves that no, we are not going to be good, yes, we're probably headed for a loss, particularly as Steed 'Free Kick Specialist' Raynor gets a chance from just outside the box and fucking skies it, and Bowyer looks young and fresh and tries to kill Gallot with a sliding tackle and misses and he's through on goal and scores.

So one nil down away at a better team within twelve minutes and our white kits are soiled with grass and it starts to rain. But then a weird thing happens - we're actually good. Brad Kuepper fires a really hard shot that Rivcoucher miraculously keeps out because he's probably paid as much as our entire squad combined, and we play some really good aggressive football which is only foiled because we're rubbish technically which is exactly where Sicoutimont are really good and if 'Big Chris' Savard hadnt skied a complete sitter the game would be over. Connell nearly fumbles a long shot from Dejardins and gives us all an uncomfortable reminder that unlike last cycle she doesn't have a personal force field extending a metre in each direction and now she's 33 years old and god help us if she has to run anywhere or pass to anything, but she makes a really good double save soon after that and we're reminded that, old or not, she's kept clean sheets in literally more than half her games. Still, half-time happens and apart from about ten minutes after we conceded Sicoutimont have been all over us and fucking hell it's Lawless-era Brenecia all over again, but instead of A-League kids we're relying on what the politically correct term calls 'senior citizens'.

But then we come out at half time and notice the referee is Premiership-levels of leniant and we get stuck in and fight for every tackle, and I'm thinking, huh, we're actually really up for this. And we get a corner which Snowden thumps in because Raynor's been shit and Mortlock rises for it and nearly scores. We're starting to sing "We're Gonna Win The World Cup" and as soon as we start to wonder if we'll get noise complaints Allbeck squares it to Bryson who twats it in and we're level.

And we're getting a barely-deserved point and pressing for a totally unfair win, Gallagher and Camden come on for Greig and Sylver and our defensive strategy boils down to 'spear tackle anyone who gets within shooting distance', which works but we pick up four yellow cards in the last twenty-five minutes. Sadly their goalkeeper is invincible even though everyone's drunk by now and nobody can remember his name, then the camera pans to the back of his shirt during a goal-kick and people try to say 'Rivcoucher' and fail. Then the cunt commentator says it correctly after not mentioning him by name for the space of memory which is really annoying.

Anyway we draw away which feels like a win and I resolve to get one of the tidy striped away kits, and I start thinking; "what if we do this? What if we really can do this?" And unless we massively drop the ball we'll make the playoffs, and all we have to do is win two matches on aggregate - we'll even get some home matches. And we say our players aren't very good but now when we play midtable nations the massive gulf in quality is in our favour because being a smattering of Premiership journeymen from all over the league isn't a bad thing anymore, and I've seen foreigners wearing Treason shirts with Allbeck's name on the back. Which is weird, but it's nice to think that maybe the rot is over. Maybe Brenecia's shit period is finally over.

[Sargossa]

SSM | Sargossan State Media
International Edition - Sport


Cursed By Birth?


Blanco Borrayo reports from Soluca;

If history has taught us anything it’s that to be a success as national coach of Sargossa you require two things. Firstly you’ll be needing a skin denser than the entire Kardashian klan. And secondly your passport should indicate that you’re a swarthy foreign type. The Football Federation’s notion that being from somewhere else immediately makes a person exotic, sophisticated and generally better (although anyone who has happened to set foot in Queer Poco el Mono Ara knows this to be patently untrue) has ensured that a healthy number of foreigners have occupied the big blue chair. And they tend to have enjoyed more success than our own local vintage. Obviously this is something current incumbent, former Sargossan international Ernesto Farías, is looking to change. But history is not on his side.

It’s a theory that goes all the way back to the very birth of the national side, at the 34th Baptism of Fire tournament. Local coach Christian Salazar was chosen to lead the nation in its first international sporting outing, a controversial choice given Salazar’s family ties to the then FFS president. The result was something of a disaster, the Corsairs winning just one match and being dumped out of the tournament at the group stage. The performance saw an overhaul at the top of the FFS, with Salazar also shown the door for good measure. He was replaced by veteran Nethertopian Rob Kietecs and the rewards were almost instantaneous. In Sargossa’s first World Cup qualification campaign Kietecs masterminded a wonderful run which saw wins over Bazalonia, Swartaz and four time world champions Rejistania and a friendly draw with then current champions of the world Candelaria And Marquez. Only home and away defeats to Starblaydia prevented an audacious debut qualification, the Corsairs falling just two points shy. But two years later they wouldn’t be denied. That previous campaign had seen a massive leap in the rankings (albeit at a time when there were far fewer nations to leap over) and the Darker Blues entered the tournament as the group’s third seeds. But a run of just one defeat in fourteen games saw the Corsairs, with Farías among them, win the group and reach their first Finals at the second time of asking. Three defeats would follow at the tournament in Cafundéu but that didn’t prevent Kietecs retiring as a legend.

José Marín became the second Sargossan to sup from the poisoned chalice and his was immediately thrown in at the deep end. Largely because a government jealous of the successes of the neighbouring Candelariasians has signed the national side up to the Nakiti Robotics & Axx Software Opportunity Cup with just one objective, win it or else. Marín’s side came in third but all would be forgiven with a strong showing in the inaugural Copa Rushmori. The Corsairs successfully negotiated the group before scoring an impressive win over Candelaria And Marquez in the semis, meaning all that stood between the nation and glory were arch-rivals Somewhereistonia. A five goal capitulation certainly hadn’t been scripted and, largely due to the opposition, José Marín was dismissed. He was replaced on a caretaker basis by Juan Manuel Del Rios, who had led Sargossa to a Di Bradini Cup title,and whose first task was vengeance in a must win (un)friendly with the Somewhereistonians. Another defeat led to another prompt sacking and Enrique Zaraté was parachuted as interim coach while the FFS debated their next move.

Adhering to the old adage that if you can’t beat them, hire one, the Federation announced Candelariasian José Felipe Cassumba Domingo as their next victim with the qualifiers for the 49th World Cup just two games old. That campaign would go right down to the wire until a heart wrenching final day defeat in a win or bust home encounter with neighbours Nethertopia saw Sargossa fall painfully short. So to Cup of Harmony 41 and a date with destiny. The group was just about cleared, courtesy of a late victory over Swartaz a couple of favourable results elsewhere, before a shootout saw off The Macabees in the Second Round. In the Quarters the Corsairs comfortably despatched Jesselton and in the Semis a nine goal thriller with Aguazul is still rated as Sargossa’s greatest ever win. The Final in Pasarga saw Sargossa line up against Vephrall and a 3 – 1 win for the Corsairs ensured coach Cassa’s entry into sporting lore.

The Candelariasian would eventually call it a day prior to World Cup 51, allowing TQCC winning coach and local lad Gabriel Vizcarra to step in to the breach. And he proved to be a good fit, qualifying for World Cup 51 ahead of the likes of Kelssek and Bostopia and beating Somewhereistonia in another of those (un)friendlies. The Finals themselves were pretty exciting too, with nine goals scored in the three group games, but once again it was a short visit. For the first time Sargossa enjoyed successive appearances in the Finals as Vizcarra steered the Corsairs through a mammoth twenty two match qualification campaign. And another first was achieved at the Finals themselves after wins over Schiavonia and Queer Poco el Mono Ara ensured passage into the knockout rounds where The Babbage Islands would eventually triumph after extratime. Civil strife would put pay to dreams of three Finals appearances on the spin as the nation entered a troubled period of isolationism, leaving Vizcarra as statistically the most successful boss in Sargossa’s history but minus anything tangible like a massive, ostentatious trophy.

The Corsairs re-emerged prior to the fifth Copa Rushmori with another fancy foreigner at the helm. This time it was Starblaydi Francisco Martinez, a legend across Rushmore following his playing days in the CMSC, who accepted the offer of a new challenge after a long spell in charge of his homeland. And rarely have debuts been so dreamlike as he opened with an 8 – 0 win against Kazzoria. The fine start continued as the nation scythed through the opposition to beat old enemy Queer Poco el Mono Ara in the Final to take our rightful place at the top of the Rushmori pyramid. But it proved to be a flash in the pan as Sargossa struggled to adjust back into the regular competitive action, with Martinez leaving after a group stage exit from Cup of Harmony 49. But once again a foreigner had claimed a trophy.

Former Sargossan international Jésus Vazquez had been groomed to succeed Martinez for some time but started his spell in the worst possible fashion, a 6 – 0 friendly hammering at the hands of the Pocoans. The qualification group for World Cup 58 throw up no less than six massive Rushmori derbies. Vazquez’s charges crumbled in all six, losing home and away to Saugeais, Nethertopia and Mytannion. It was too much for the FFS to bear and the coach was dismissed after just one campaign. In came Ernesto Farías for his first caretaker spell in charge but, despite a strong showing at yet another Cup of Harmony, another foreigner was lined up.

Step forward a man who looked like he should be galloping down from the Steppes to burn your village, steal your daughter and kick your goat. That was Brutušam Erassi, the shaven headed Pazhujebi tactician whose motto was ‘attack, attack and then attack some more’. It worked too, the Corsairs reaching the 59th edition of the greatest show on turf on the back of an unbeaten qualification campaign. He repeated the feat at the 60th, another unbeaten run that was ended by The Holy Empire at the Second Round stage of the Finals themselves. But once again that third straight appearance in the Finals proved elusive and Erassi parted company with the Corsairs after missing out on a trip to WC61. Although he never actually won a trophy just three defeats in forty two goal laden qualification matches earned Brutušam Erassi a place in the national consciousness.

The alternation between foreigner and local continued with Farías’ international teammate Martín Tejera the next man in the hot seat. Tejera, like Vizcarra before him, was statistically speaking a success but he too suffered thanks to never winning anything solid and shiny. But, unlike Vizcarra before him, boy did he come close. Only a playoff kept Sargossa out of the World Cup and only a nigh-on invincible Andossa Se Mitrin Vega kept them out of the Cup of Harmony final. The Copa Rushmori was next and this time the Corsairs did reach the final, only to lose out to Astograth in the Polar Islandstates. Another World Cup and another playoff, only this time there was victory over Kinitaria. Tejera’s boys then won all three group games at the Finals but, with a Quarter Final place within reach, they caved against a poor Starblaydi side in the Last Sixteen. Another Copa and another run to the final, but again Tejera’s side chocked as Darmen took the crown. A disappointing start to the World Cup qualifiers finally saw Sargossa’s ‘Nearly Man’ step down, with Farías once again stepping up as caretaker to steer the side to another Cup of Harmony Quarter Final.

And once again the former striker would be overlooked as two time World Cup winning coach Iarlaith Mag Aonghusa became Tejera’s big name replacement. And the Sorthern immediately did what his predecessor couldn’t by taking the nation to the Copa Rushmori final and actually winning the damn thing, beating host nation Taeshan in the final. Once again a foreign devil had taken the national side to trophy winning glory. Mag Aonghusa’s World Cup knowhow was unsurpassed and he led the Corsairs to the Finals of both the 65th and 66th tournaments either side of yet another Copa Rushmori final, that’s four in a row for anyone keeping count. But Sargossa’s inability to reach a third straight Finals reared its ugly head again and the veteran decided enough was enough. Cue another interim boss, only this time it wasn’t Farías but rather Hernán Ojeda who had served as assistant to Iarlaith Mag Aonghusa. He lasted precisely three games. And so the post was open again and once again the FFS turned to Ernesto Farías, only this time there was nothing interim about it. He was in charge and would be so for the foreseeable future. But while the opportunity to be the first Sargossan to lift a trophy is still some way off Farías can instead focus on emulating his compatriots Martín Tejera and Gabriel Vizcarra in leading the Corsairs to the World Cup. And after that, who knows?

[Albaie]

The Road To The World Cup

Gathering The Team

William Dubrack Dubrackson Dubrack's Town Celtic 29 Central Defensive Midfielder/Center Midfielder 100 caps and 35 goals CAPTAIN

He heard the volley of gunfire and looked to see his right flank advancing bayonets levelled at the enemy who were in fast retreat. " The day is won. " Cheered Colonel Samuel McAdams. The officers of his general staff took up the cheer and he smiled. This would be his crowning glory. The Battle Of Atenburg would be it's name he had decided and as he watched the enemy centre crumple as the 81st Hightown Foot advanced with bayonets raised. The cannons grumbled again to his left and then there was a tremendous boom and he looked up to see the enemy's battery ablaze. It looked like he had been right to order them to raise the trajectory by a few centimetres. Artillery had always been his passion. Yes he was a glorious lancer and a marvellous shot but the calculations and precision of heavy guns amazed him. Throughout his youth while his cousin received the praise and glory for his stunning military parades and thundering charges it had always been William that supported him though artillery classes otherwise the future Emperor and fearsome Field Marshall and winner of dozens of battles including Werturk and Longland would never have even passed his military training. Even then it had been him that had commanded the Imperial Battery at both those battles and if not for William's skill the Noble Rebel Alliance would have torn apart his defence and thrown back the Imperial Army. William had only been a Major General at both of those his skills yet to be recognised but after the Siege of Stunpar when William had brought down the fearsome walls within a week it had been William who had received the vacant full generalship and command of the 21st Army.

William had inherited the 21st from General Walter Mowbray once a glorious regimental commander who had brought into action many training reforms and with the Civil War had been promoted when General James McGarent died. Mowbray had done a decent job but was never imaginative and all his plans were basic but had fulfilled the job but his butcher's bill had been one of the largest and at the Battle of Portville it had caught up with him. Mowbray had tried to lead a valiant charge but a sniper shot the brave 47 year old from his horse and the 21st passed into William's hands. He had brought the units back up to scratch and then marched them back to Portville to regain their besmirched honour with the defeat still looming. William had broken the centre of the enemy force without even committing any soldiers as his heavy guns tore apart their command structure and threw them into disarray. After that day William had won a reputation as a general who cared for his men and would try to stop their death and one that relied on his skill and genius not just the bayonet his men carried. So it was that William started to receive the praise his dear cousin had stolen.

William didn't mind though that Michael was the favoured cousin or that he was Emperor because he had what Michael still dreamed of. He was a footballer. William still remembered those days when the cousins had played on the fields of the Imperial Palace with the sons of the Imperial Guard. William's father Kieran who was Lord of Nova Dubrack at the time a title William now held cheered on the second cousins while Emperor Michael I had watched from the distant palace planning every aspect of his young heirs life. The two cousins had even played for Dubrack's Town Celtic together for a while before Emperor Michael I declared no son of his would be a footballer and so young Michael had never played football again while his cousin William climbed the ranks until now he was captain of the International team and ready for anything.

William watched as the final remnants of the enemy force turned tail and ran. Down there in the valley there had been 42,000 rebel soldiers marching forth to turn back William's troops from attacking Dun Castle. William and his 32,000 men had occupied the hill and repulsed their attacks as the enemy tried to unsettle his men but to no avail. William smiled as he regarded the battlefield which barely contained any of the uniforms of the various regiments under his command but was covered in the dark grey of the Noble Rebel Alliance. Dun Castle was open to his troops now and once that had fallen he would march back to join up with Field Marshall Deberen and the two would attempt a attack into the Heights of Gordain where the enemy were hiding in the hills terrorising the locals. William envied Field Marshall Deberen. The man was such a complete general and had won every battle he had fought and his skill only seemed to be rising. Not only that but as Governor of Newfoundland he was technically William's commanding officer due to the title William held. Michael Deberen had taken over William's father's struggling command of the Imperial Colonial Newfoundland Army and had turned the war there around throwing back the advancing enemy armies and reuniting the Advar to the Imperial throne. So far it seemed there was nothing the genius couldn't do.

Michael Deberen was very much like his father and brother's guessed as he thought about the sporting dynasty that basically ruled William's career. The father Vincent was still his manager technically even despite his coma while Mark was his actual manager at the moment and a great friend while the younger Vincent was his team mate and most trusted goal scorer. William missed the Deberen family despite their one time threat to expose him as a lazy ungrateful player but that kick up the backside had led to him revitalising his game and he held nothing against them. William noted the Imperial Corps of Communication officer entering his command post. It was Captain Darren McFerguson his cousin's most trusted envoy. He looked the same as he always did in his long black greatcoat and black peaked cap and looked like he hadn't rested in days.
" General William Dubrack Dubrackson ? " Darren said formally despite him clearly recognising his friend.
" Aye that's I. " William replied with the same formality.
" A message from his Emperor and congrats on your victory Sir. " Darren said and William nodded as we took the note from Darren.

To William Dubrack Dubrackson
You are to report to Sturte House by Saturday morning. You are to play in Albaie's team for the next World Cup. You are excused from all duties and to are get to Dubrack's Town as fast as possible.
Emperor Michael II

William grimaced. Even now after his greatest triumph he was being torn away. Well he guessed it would only be a few weeks and then he's retake his command and everything would be back to usual.

[Zenic]

“Yes, I know who we’re facing. Okay, okay, I’ll be a bit more serious but listen: we’re in a good spot and anything is possible. I’ll call you after the match regardless of the result. Don’t worry, I’ve got my guys ready to go.”

Sanders hung up his cell and stuffed it into his pocket as he headed to the pitch to watch his players practice a bit before the match. While watching Golovkin lead the players in practice, his mind started to drift to the upcoming match. Pasarga: one of the many great sporting nations in both Rushmore and the universe. Currently on a rampaging streak with 4 straight wins and a +19 goal differential, it was enough to make any manager tremble in fear. And, let’s face it, Sanders was shaking a bit. His anxiety attacks had slowed down since the Baptism of Fire win yet they would pop up every so often: this Pasarga game was not helping.

Sander searched for something else to think of: of course, the match against Praxeologicalia. An easy win, just like the last two games. The goals had come from Ayaode in the 31st minute, Killian on a penalty in the 78th minute, and substitute Terry with a flawless strike in the 86th minute. The defense had allowed a meaningless goal in the 89th minute and the team came back home victors and in 2nd place. Still, that team wasn’t Pasarga.

Shaking his head in disgust, he began his trek to the pitch. He needed to stop thinking so negatively, as his doctors had recommended. It would help keep his head clear and allow him to focus, one of them had mentioned. Sanders smiled as the doctor’s words rang true: he could think more clearly while being positive and happy.

Maybe his team did have a shot at upsetting Pasarga…..or not. Yet, either way, his team would be in a good position to qualify for the proper World Cup. The future was bright is the thought Joseph Michael Sanders, manager of the Zenic national team, had in his head as he reached the pitch.

“Win or Lose, Pasarga will see what the Survivors have to offer to the universe.”

[Blouman Empire]

THE EMPIRE TIMES

Eagles Lose To Falcus

.

Last night’s game between the Blouman Empire and Falcus shows that football is a fickle game and that it only takes one good shot to win a game. It is a game where having a majority of possession and control of the match counts for nothing if you cannot convert that into goals. The game last night proved this as the Eagles lost 1-0 thanks to a 74th minute shot from Severi Næss giving them their first loss for the qualifiers.

Both teams started the game with three wins apiece, both seeking to establish themselves at the top of the table and it was the Eagles that started off the game with this strong determination. As the Eagles took early control it looked as though they would it looked like Blaine Cooperson was going to score within the first few minutes with a well-placed shot that was barely tipped over the bar by the Falcus keeper Chris Lockwood. The Eagles continued to apply pressure to the Falcus defence as they probed the final third with a few shots stretching Lockwood to his limits. At the other end of the field the Blouman back line was having no trouble stopping Falcus from setting up any form of attack as the defenders pressure forced Falcus into a number of errors. Stanislava Hertz managed to get in front of goal but she scuffed the shot sending it high into the stands, a shot from Edwardo Baez was badly directed and was of no concern to Milton Tuneson. While the Eagles continued to maintain possession and control of the game, the sterling efforts of Falcus continued to deny any goals for the Eagles and the teams were still level at the break.

With the second half underway the Eagles continued to keep the ball in their attacking third and once again they were unable to capitalise on their chances. Shots from Cooperson, Kane Harrison and Michael Walkers were all saved by Lockwood. It looked like Walkers had scored in the 60th minute after a low cross from John Miller landed at his feet but the linesman had raised his flag and the goal was disallowed. On the rare occasions when Flacus had possession they were unable to set up an attack with the Blouman defence quick on their feet forcing Falcus to shoot from distance, their poor accuracy gave no grief to Tuneson. While it looked like it was only a matter of time before the Eagles would score a goal a lapse in concentration from Hamish Alpin saw Næss get past him and with a free shot on goal he took the chance placing it in the top left corner and breaking the deadlock. The goal was the only on target shot from Falcus and had the effect of deflating the Eagles who continued to push but without the same tenacity as before. As the minutes ticked down neither side was able to get any meaningful shots on goal with the game ending 1-0.

Alpin was not willing to talk to journalists about the game only muttering “I don’t know what happened” as he pushed through the pack. Manager Henry Emergaton was more open yet also looked dejected “It’s the nature of the game, we had all the possession ten times as many shots on goal yet it only takes one mistake to lose. It’s a cruel game but that’s how it is we can only start focusing on the next game”. Falcus remains on top of the table after the win with a three-point buffer. The Eagles have slipped down to third on equal points with Jeckland and Estope. The Eagles will next be facing Jeckland whom will be playing for their fourth successive win after losing the qualifiers open to Falcus 2-0. Both teams will be looking to secure the three points as they chase down Falcus while a loss would see either team fall further away from the group leaders.

[Valanora]

Two Dark Bows sitting in the central command station, filtering through the various reports from the agents out in the field

"The world, it's in a bit of chaos you know, just absolute chaos." Said the younger of the two as he sighed and closed the report that he had just read, the encryption on it having been marked as urgent. More and more bad news these days outside the Commonwealth he thought before he read it and exclaimed his bit.

The older of the pair, a veteran of the wars of the previous century and even the tangle with Lady Viannor's kidnapping of the twins said with a grimace on his face. This was not how he had expected to spend his last year working with the group, as nothing but an intelligence officer. "What on Earth is it now that could possibly take our attention away from the Starblaydia situation? What could possible be more important than developing news from our one and only ally in all of the entire world? Please, enlighten me."

"Astograth. There is now a Lord Protector... that is not the former Grand Duke."

"..." Silence was all he had, that was not something that the veteran had expected at all. It was Rushmore and no one really cared about Rushmore unless it had to deal with football, but still this was Astograth and the potential eruption of violence in a part of the world where more and more Vanorians were employing their trade.

"As I said, it is all going into some bloody hell of chaos central."

"The Great Leader is not going to like this, we have pretty good relations with Astograth, despite them being a Rushmori." No he thought, she would not take it well, but neither would Tobias, the man whom the officers of the Bows reported to, who gave the orders from time to time. Luckily, thus far, their deployment in Starblaydia had not revealed anything quite threatening, just a major increase in nationalism and the stripping away of rights, but nothing actionable, not yet.

"She is already stressed with the Starblaydi situation, this certainly is not going to make her nights any easier."

"That issue is a non issue right now, just a wave of right wing nationalism, nothing to worry about at this time. Yet if what you are saying is true... Tobias is going to need to be notified immediately and a decision to be made. Obviously more observation is going to be needed." Likely it would come to nothing, Rushmore was too far to think about any sort of deployment besides reconnaissance, but it would behoove them to monitor the situation. Knowledge was power...

[Sangti]

WORLD CUP 68 QUALIFYING
Four is a Magic Number: Eight-men Agilang Dilaw pummeled by Olibondeka
by Edric Conciso

RUMIATZI, ASTOGRATH - The Agilang Dilaw went into the Astograthian capital with high hopes of pulling an upset against the former finals hosts, but a gloomy evening in the Grand Duke's Stadium as The Royal Barangay slumped into the worst loss of Rick Martinez's reign as the Barangayans' manager. Ibai Kiriano's hattrick ensured a miserable night for Martinez's men, with the match fininshing 4-1. The midfield was uncharacteristically played terrible, especially when Robin Linsangan, easily the best player of the Agilang DIlaw these past times, was a marked man and was not able to make any sort of plays.

ASG: Eliz; Obonaga, Agirrebenia, Arizmande, Ziaurriz; Ogara (Mankisidor 60'), Arambilet, Bidigain (Kuartango 83'), Dardan; Kiriano, Churin (Pagagartundua 83')
TRB: C. Cablayan; dela Vega, Docdoc (sent off 51'), Arceo (sent off 51'), Bautista; E. Khan, Magsombol (Sanchez 77'), Linsangan (Ang 51, sent off 87'), K. Khan; Magcaleng, Corsiga (Mateo 63')
Goal Summary: ASG: Kiriano ( 9', 30' pen 51'), Pagagartundua (88'); TRB: Corsiga (46')

Kiriano made his presence felt in the opening moments of the game when he dribbled with the ball and went past three Agiilang DIlaw defenders and shot a low drive that was too powerful for goalkeeper Cyril Cablayan to save. It was 1-0 after nine minutes, and Olibondeka was threatening to double the lead just three minutes after when Oskarbi Churin was on a blistering run in the right flank, finding an open Kiriano, and put a low cross in front of the Barangayan goal. Fortunately for the Agilang Dilaw, the Athletik Thessia forward was late to the ball and was not able to tap the ball past Cablayan. However, Kiriano, at the thirtieth mimute, was deemed unstoppable. After receiving a pass from Gaitzka Ogara, he dribbled the ball in front of him, did a 360 to go past Luke Docdoc, and shot a cheeky chip past the Racing XInghua keeper to extend their lead, 2-0, and it remained in that scoreline when the two teams went to their dressing rooms for half time.

When the second half started, The Barangayans immediately put one back, when Daren Corsiga was a recipient of a beautiful through ball by Erick Khan, who now swapped roles with the now right-wing Linsangan. Corsiga made the most of his chances after just beating the offside trap that caught the Astograthian defense off guard, and poached the ball past Zuriko Eliz to pull one back for the Agilang Dilaw in the forty-sixth minute, but what happened five minutes after that changed the landscape of the game.

Ogara, who has been a threat from the right wing all night, dribbled the ball into the penalty box, when Docdoc inadvertently made a two footed tackle and caught the legs of Ogara, making the right wing fall into the grass. The other players, were approaching Docdoc to confront him, but Mari Arceo suddenly came into action and shoved Ostadar Arambilet, drawing the ire of the youngster and retaliated. What Arceo did was unthinkable. The Real Tiagosan defender threw a right hook into the face of the Astograthian midfielder and a melee broke out on the pitch, causing the people in the touchline to come to the rescue.

The farce caused the match to be stopped for five minutes, as the referee assessed with his assistants what they saw. When he returned to the pitch where the players were, he raised straight reds for Docdoc for the dangerous tackle and Arceo for punching an opponent. The referee also pointed to the spot, giving Astograth a penalty. Fortunately, Ogara was able to continue play until he was subbed at the 60th for precautionary measures. Kiriano dispatched the penalty to restore the two-goal margin at 3-1.

In the closing moments of the game, Roman Ang, who went in for the subbed Linsangan, hit the showers early when he received a second bookable offense for bringing down Kiriano, reducing the already shorthanded TRB side by one man further. Luar Dardan lobbed the ball into the box, into the head of the substitute Bayarte Pagagartundua in the 88th, to extend the lead further, 4-1. After wight minutes of added time, the match ended, with an irate Rick Martinez not even attempting to shake the opposition's hand.

The result kept the Barangayans at four points after four games, incredibly the same points haul that they had in all of the past editions of their qualifying campaign. This proved to be a bad omen last season, when the Barangayans only winning thrice in fourteen matches to finish their campaign in a lowly eighteen points.

At the post match interview, Martinez hit the poor officiating in the match, as well as his own players for losing their cool in the match. However, he was optimistic that they still have a chance at the top of Group 18, despite six points behind now leaders Star United States, after then leaders The Inevitable Syndicate fell to a 0-1 home defeat against Carialus. The enigmatic manager however walked out when he was asked about lack of sportsmanship.

Martinez will have three players suspended for their next match against New Mumford, and the KPMB, The Royal Barangay's sporting body, are anticipating a fine or suspension of personnel in the coming weeks. The scuffle is now being investigated by the World Cup Committee.

[Nouvel Ecosse]

GOAL #1 - 4'
DARREN MCFADDEN

"Curt LaFleur intercepts a misplaced pass from the Wesleyia midfielder, finds Sanchez Reno waiting in the wings. Reno beats the first defender, before whipping in a devestating cross. However, the goalkeeper sees it coming, and puts a fist to it, only for it to fall at the feet of midfielder Javier Sanchez who finds McFadden free on the left. There are no troubles for Darren as he rounds the flailing left-back before coolly slotting home."

GOAL #2 - 22'
JAVIER ZANETTI

"Stalwart centre-back and long-time captain Javier Zanetti is lucky with a header after a brilliant straight cross flies over the heads of nearly all of both teams, before dipping and finding Zanetti unmarked at the back post, who needs to only glance it between the posts. A scrappy, perhaps fortunate goal, but one which he happily accepts."

GOAL #3 - 24'
LEANDRO CARDOZA

"Leandro Cardoza makes it threes company on the scoresheet with a volley from thirty yards, putting the tie really beyond any doubt. Culloden erupts in a roar not heard in Ecosse since the last time there was a bombing in the South-East of the country. Mossebien's team look like they are really clicking in this game, and the defence is holding up well to some pressure from an increasingly desperate Wesleyia side."

GOAL #4 - 44'
SANCHEZ RENO

"Despite pulling one back, Wesleyia find the game now avalanching towards a romp with Sanchez Reno reaching the summit of Mount Scoresheet. They are no well on the way to what could be a record score for the national team in World Cup Qualification. Reno scores a free-kick from the edge of the penalty box, after Dan Holt-Ash is brutally hauled down by a jealous full-back."

GOAL #5 - 48'
LEANDRO CARDOZA

"Cardoza latches onto a second just minutes after the restart with a clever back-heel in a scrappy goalmouth. A corner somehow rolls through the Wesleyia defence taking numerous deflections before Cardoza cheekily flicks it past their goalkeeper, the mouths of his fellow team-mates agape."

GOAL #6 - 58'
DAN HOLT-ASH

"The diminutive right-midfielder breezes past his counterpart in the opposing team and their sides left-back before cutting in and finding McFadden, who chips in over the top of the flat-footed centre-back and finding Holt-Ash narrowly onside, although attackers advantage may have been in play. He then dummies a shot to the right before scooping the ball with his left, in off the post."

GOAL #7 - 70'
DARREN MCFADDEN

"McFadden competes against Cardoza as he attempts to reach his hattrick first. No mean feat, but then neither was this spectacular bicycle kick. Clearly now just enjoying the game and really not pressing to hard, or straining themselves, McFadden decides to try the near impossible and pulls it off. One for the annals of Ecossian history."

GOAL #8 - 77'
LEANDRO CARDOZA

"Not to be outdone, Leandro Cardoza bags his hattrick first, thanks to an assist from rival McFadden. This time its a mere walk-in, Leandro pausing on the line to showboat as he lies on the ground and heads it over, the Wesleyia players now hopelessly rushing back helplessly."

GOAL #9 - 89'
PIERRE VAN MILLER

"Despite pulling back a consolation goal, Wesleyia look like a broken team with little spirit and absolutely no hope. Van Miller echoes the earlier goal from Zanetti with a delightful header from the edge of the six-yard box, defiantly rising above the crowd gathered in the centre. Ecosse now seem desperate to reach double figures..."

GOAL #10 - 90+2'
DARREN MCFADDEN

"And they've done it, a near-perfect ten, if only because they conceded two in the process. The highest result of qualification thus far, and the Ecossian will be more than happy with it. As will Darren McFadden, who equalled Cardoza's hattrick in the dying seconds with a blasted twenty yard shot that sliced its way through the defence. Final score: Nouvel Ecosse 10, Wesleyia 2."

[Kandorith]

Draw For Fourth Place

By Lisho Yaru

As the national team is recovering from the strange happenings during the match against Menukten, Kandorith has settled for a rather disappointing draw. The match against Vaugania, which should have been a spectacular recovery ended in a solid 1 - 1 draw. Coach Xíanjí was not available for comments other than saying: "I will make sure the team is completely in shape again for the next matches, we will snatch what I promised and we will continue into the qualifying campaign full confidence." he said calmly.


The Kandorese Football Association has come under some heavy fire as they released a statement they would change the current logo and team badge. The head of the KFA, Munlí Jinxía made sure that no changes would be made to the tunic nor the logo of the KFA during the current qualifying campaign and the possible World Cup campaign. Furthermore he ensured that the released statement was to make sure people had enough time to send in their ideas and artwork for the future logo and tunic of the Kandorese team.

[Pasarga]

Torgos Tribune ~The Next Great Power?

There is always talk about who is going to be the next great sporting power, the next great legend, the next up and coming nation who will look to rattle the cages of the old guard. There seems to be an ever present eye on the future of what may come to pass, what may come to overcome and overtake all that we know or remind us of what was once great. Maybe it is the human element that we all suffer from, which is as varied and complex as any idea or construct could ever be. Yet a small part of the idea is that humans are so industrious and go getters that we are naturally never going to be satisfied with any that we have in front of us, even if it is paradise or if it is perfect in design and execution. Someone will see someway to make it better to make it newer, to not see it as the best it could be. There are advantages and disadvantage to that line of thinking though, but let us try to just see the good of it for a bit.

The next great power could very well be the opponents that the Wanderers will be facing in their match this evening in the form of the Baptism of Fire Champions in Zenic. They are doing well through the four games of qualifying and will likely be in a good position still after the match with our lads and lasses regardless of the result. Their victory in the tournament leading up to the qualifying cycle was signal fire to the rest of the international community, saying watch out world, there is a pretty decent squad of footballers from here looking to take you all on. And good on them for that bravado, you need it when you are new into this whole international footballing scene, when you are the minnow in the ocean of large predators. And even better for them for not only thinking that but also for playing with such confidence and belief that they are taking the points they need to in order to be an upcoming force in the world's game.

Maybe though it is the next Rushmori power or even World power in our own Wanderers who have launched themselves out of the gate in this qualifying start and are just executing in a lethal fashion. Goals are going in at a blistering pace and they have wracked up four impressive victories, including thumping victories over both the second and third seeds in their group. They are among a select few group of nations who are still perfect as we are nearing the halfway mark of qualifying. With their impressive amount of goals scored and out of this world goal difference, you could say that they have been the very best team in qualifying thus far of the one hundred ninety teams who are taking part in it. You would be hard pressed to find an argument against that idea with the way they are playing and with luck will continue to perform and take them all the way through to the Finals themselves and perhaps the deepest run in the knockouts that the Wanderers have ever had. That would definitely be a signal that the Wanderers are here to be a continuous world power.

Yet you could be talking about their stellar striker in Tobias Möller who has more than his fair share of the bag of goals the Wanderers have collected through the four games. While he is no Laborious Hawk or SDB, he is edging his way up there as one of the best strikers in all of the world. Tobias is the head of the spear of both the thunderous CA Paulinthal attack in the Pasarga SuperLiga, but also for the Wanderers, with those ten goals through the four games. Even the West Angola press is wondering if anyone will be able to stop the play of the striker and the Wanderers in general, with the eyes of clubs like SK from Polar Islandstates thinking if they could tempt CAP to sell their most precious commodity in the next transfer window.

Yet it is the team that matters and the victories that people judge their success by, with the Wanderers looking good so far. It is hard to imagine that the side could perform much better than they have, yet with Hernádez liking to keep things secure on the defensive end, there is the goals they are conceding. The goal outburst has overshadowed the inability of the side to keep a clean sheet in their matches, a fact that will have the manageress feeling like this team still has more to give her. If they can tighten up the ship at the back and start keeping teams off the score sheet, then they will be quite the frightening prospect indeed, as the goals will begin to dry up in a fashion inevitably. That is why they say defense wins championships and that is why if Pasarga is to cement their power in the group, they will have to improve the one facet that is not clicking on all cylinders in this great start to their qualifying cycle.

[Kinitaria]

OOC: I'm going to attempt a RP arc based around a group of anti-communist dissidents who oppose the existing Kinitar government. Feel free to have your nation react to events. If you want to know any further details or discuss information, feel free to TG me.

BULLETIN #1
OF THE
KINITAR LIBERATION COMMITTEE

Establishment of Government-in-Exile

The legitimate government of the Republic of Kinitaria was re-established as an underground body today. Knowing the connections that the illegitimate Kucinič government has in international circles, the authors of this bulletin have been requested to maintain utmost secrecy about the location of the Government-in-Exile, and have chosen to comply with this request. The tasks carried out by the lawful government will include lobbying other nations to recognise it as the rightful government of all Kinitaria, including Chyr and the outlying islands, as well as pressurising international organisations to adopt sanctions against the criminal and traitor Kucinič. Feodor Vinalev has taken up the post of President of the Republic, which he will hold until such point as free and fair democratic elections can be held in Kinitaria.

The government today declared its intention to resume its membership in various international organisations, including the Atlantian Oceania Regional Defence Organisation and the World Assembly, that it was illegally stripped of when the so-called "Socialist Republic" of Kinitaria was founded. It also called upon the international community to respect its legitimacy and cabled its intention to resume its diplomatic relations with other nations.

Kucinič Indicted on Treason Charges

Irin Kucinič, formerly a general in the Armed Forces of the Republic of Kinitaria, was today indicted on charges of treason, conspiracy to overthrow the legitimate government of Kinitaria, murder, negligence, and corruption. Kucinič seized power in Kinitaria unlawfully some 30 months ago, and since then has ruled in an atmosphere of fear and intimidation which are totally contradictory to the spirit in which the Kinitar nation was forged three and a half millenia ago.

Also indicted on various charges are Radovan Sirin, currently acting as Minister of Defence for Kucinič, who is accused of exactly the same crimes as the so-called Premier. Sirin is reported to have brought in the army to control demonstrations against the despotic regime currently active in Kinitaria. Rosa Lisineva, Minister of the Interior, has also been indicted on lesser charges, as has Ivan Malenev, who essentially serves as the propaganda mouthpiece for the Kucinič regime, and is complicit in their crimes by association.

The Government-in-Exile of the Republic of Kinitaria has announced its intention to conduct a fair trial for the accused individuals at the earliest possible opportunity, and requests the assistance of the international community in bringing these criminals to justice as soon as is practical. A reward of up to 50 million hirin has been promised to any individual who provides information leading to the arrest of any of the four named individuals above, with lesser rewards available to anyone who gives information that leads to the arrest of certain other members of the Kucinič government. A full list of those charged with crimes against the Kinitar people is forthcoming shortly.

Repression of Political Opposition Continues

Disturbing reports coming out of Serenberg, Kinitaria's second-largest city and its most important port, seem to indicate that the Kucinič regime is using deadly force against political opponents of the dictator. Workers and sailors at Shipyard No. 8 in Serenberg came out on strike earlier this month, protesting a decline in working conditions, an expectation that they work absurdly long hours, economic decline, low wages, lack of an independent trade union, and corruption of senior management, among other factors. After a period of inaction by Kucinič's goons, during which workers failed to agree an approved deal with management, it is reported that the regime's troops marched into the shipyard and ordered the strikers back to work. When they refused, the troops opened fire on the workers, killing no less than seven.

The Kucinič regime continues to deny that they use force against protesters. In a statement to the World Assembly this week, SFRK Permanent Representative Kurila Sameria claimed that, "these reports are totally untrue, they are a fabrication of 'anti-socialist' elements, and I can categorically state that we have NEVER fired on any striking workers". Mrs. Sameria, you are a LIAR, Irin Kucinič is a LIAR, and the whole world has seen you for what you are by your actions in Serenberg!

The proud shipbuilders who laid down their lives in the struggle against tyranny would surely turn in their graves to be told that their deaths are a fabrication of anti-socialist elements. They would be insulted by your defilement and reappropriation of the word socialism, which is a proud ideology that has given our country so much over the years. But we at the Kinitar Liberation Committee can promise that, for every person the tyrant Kucinič shoots down, a hundred more will rise to take their place, until liberty is restored to Kinitaria again!

Dictator on Show to the Region

Kucinič's Kinitaria recently played host to the AOCAF Cup, the most significant international football tournament in the region of Atlantian Oceania. Representatives from some thirty-one nations were invited to Kinitaria for the tournament, and although the criminal regime did its best to hide any evidence of its wrong-doing while the eyes of the world were upon it, they could not conceal evidence of their crimes from everyone. International visitors saw behind the curtain, Mr. Kucinič. They saw what was going on in your "workers' utopia"!

The way Kucinič has moulded the nation's football team, one of Kinitaria's finest achievements, into his own is tragic to see. Indeed, as the team represented Kinitaria in front of the world at World Cup 67, they were forced to wear the emblem of the Kucinič regime on their sleeves. Such a thing is nothing but an affront to the players of this great working-class game, an utter travesty considering what the dictatorship has done to tear away at the very social fabric of the working class. It is an abomination that Kucinič is using sport for his own political aims, and that the international representatives of our nation cannot feel free to show the opinion in front of the world, lest they be arrested by Kucinič's secret police, as much as he may try to deny that it even exists.

But this attitude of Kucinič's is hardly surprising. Reports say that a number of officials connected to the Kinitar team - including Jeruselem-born manager Melody Pond and midfielder Vilo Mulkanov - have been dragged away for interrogations with the regime's secret police. Although it's hard to confirm such claims, given the tragic air of secrecy and fear currently surrounding Kinitaria, past reports have indicated that four members of the national team, who were excluded from recent selections, have in fact been executed for political crimes.

Continued Stagnation in Kinitaria

Official economic figures released by the false government of Irin Kucinič claim that the economy of Kinitaria is growing by 10% on a year-by-year basis. They, as the old Kučera dictatorship did years ago, cite massive production figures for tractors and allegedly huge wheat harvests as a basis on which to make their claims of economic prosperity. But it is obvious to any onlooker that these figures are nonsense. They have no bearing on reality. They are not even massively inflated figures - they are invented figures. They are, simply put, a lie.

On one hand, it does not matter what kind of numbers Kucinič comes up with regarding production. Those numbers are absolutely irrelevant if there is no reality with which to compare them. The reality is this - the people of Kinitaria do not have enough to eat. After nearly three decades of stability and prosperity, in which it looked as though Kinitaria was finally finding our way in the world, all that has been undone in such a short period by one malevolent tyrant. Kucinič has no connection to the people of Kinitaria and no right to claim to represent them.

But, at the same time, it does not take much to see that the entire economy of Kinitaria is currently built on a fiction. The strong hirin is based on the capabilities of Kinitar industry, which is linked to infrastructure, which is linked to manufacturing and agriculture, but nowhere in the system do the numbers actually exist to back up these claims. It is easy to see that one strong gust of wind could bring the entire system crashing down. There is no stability, and there can never be any stability, with the Kucinič dictatorship. The only way to restore a strong government, democracy, and a prosperous economic outlook to Kinitaria is for the people to realise once again their noble tradition of resilience and a refusal to back down in the face of adversity, and rise up to bring the traitor Kucinič to justice.

[Felix]

(Feeling totally uninspired here so expect some random crap or something...)

Mikel Araboa is talking to his little brother Josu Araboa about the last game Felix had against Milchama in the Araboa family home in San Sebastian, Felix.

Mikel: "Hey little bro."
Josu: "Hi Mikel! How do you feel after... You know..."
Mikel: "The bullshit lost? Eh, pissed would kind of be a understatement."
Josu: "That bad huh?"
Mikel: "Yep. Seriously, the ref was an idiot and I honestly wonder how the hell did we give up goals bunch of dead humans."
Josu: "Wait, there were dead humans?!"
Mikel: "Well, yeah, just skeletons of dead, apparent legends or something."
Josu: "I wonder how the family of the dead feel..."
Mikel: "Who cares? We lost to..." Mikel sighs.
Josu: "Yeah it is frustrating, I know, I know. But the qualifiers aren't over yet bro."
Mikel: "Oh, I know... But it is stupid how we lost to such a weird and useless team, especially at home..."
Josu: "Well at least we have it easy now. I mean, we are facing that C nation..."
Mikel: "Charruterra?"
Josu: "The nation of needles, yes."
Mikel: "Needles?"
Josu: "Yeah, needle mountains."
Mikel: "Oh, that, those ridiculously tall needle like mountains..."
Josu: "What did you think I meant?"
Mikel: "Uh... A nation known by their needles..."
Josu: "What?"
Mikel: "It sounds like they would export the finest needles or something, I dunno."
Josu: "You're so weird..."
Mikel: Shrugs.
Josu: "So you think your team can get a W?"
Mikel: "Of course and we should."
Josu: "Yeah?"
Mikel: "Yeah."

(Yep, it's official that was one of the worst RPs I ever wrote. Thanks 5 tests for literally screwing me over. )

[San Jose Guayabal]

OOC: Sorry for this short RP, I had a terrible day.

News Central

Presidential elections has now a date.

The central election tribunal of San Jose Guayabal assigned a date for presidential elections, where more than 463 million people are called to exercise the right to vote to decide the future ruler of the nation for the period 2014-2018.

According to statements provided by Luis Escobedo, President of the electoral tribunal has assigned the date as April 4, where guayabalenses escojerán his future political representative of the nation.

Interview:

LE: "It is declared as the day of the presidential election on April 4, because at that time there will be national holiday, which the participation of the majority of the elderly population with a free and democratic to be ensured live and give opportunity to the needy.

It should be noted that in this election, migrants from other countries may participate for the first time in presidential elections since constitutional amendments due to any person residing in the country shall, for purposes of greater inclusion and civic participation.

In aspects merely political analysis, it is estimated that this election is very close between the four main political movements in the country, where apparently the rightist coalition "Friends of SJG" has a slight lead according to opinion polls, with 30% of the closest candidate in socio-communist coalition that is at a 29.7% further between the other candidates, a third option, the "Neutral Party", having 21% of electoral preferences currency.

During the patriotic party will be participation of more than 2 million members of the National Guard and 240,000 members of the National Army is expected to ensure free and safe realization of the right to any citizen over 16 can perform regardless of their social, religious , race, nationality, what matters is residing in the country and is interested in providing aid to the country and come out of the aftermath of the civil war that ravaged our country 30 years ago.

Other News

- SJG will face Nova Anglicana at Estadio de Barrio El Niño
- Estadio de Barrio El Niño is sell out from the first day of ticket purchase chance
- Inzer "We're ready to win and show our potential".

[Yttribia]

Estadi dels Núvols has finished its final renovations. After fourteen weeks of not being used since the loss against the reigning World Champions, Polar Islandstates, it was time to open it's fresh doors for WCQ business. The entire city of Gremalsco, and the entire region of Penedès had been waiting for this moment ever since the end of World Cup 67. And now, a record one hundred and five thousand people flocked to what was now being called "the center of Esportivan football" People from the farthest parts of Obersinn, to those who lived a measly twenty kilometers from the stadium, flocked there to the masses.

"Well, its such an honor to come here, and basically vitness ze first official match in vat is likely to be ze start of a great dynasty in Esportivan football," said one of the spectators who traveled from Obersinn to go see the nation's Ravens play against one of the best teams in the multiverse, "Imagine von-hundred and five people who vill start to sing ze national anthem. And ze size of La Viola, our fan-force, has basically doubled. Had zhey been allowed as zhat, zhey would probably be around half of ze stadium in Fontvieille."

Now, imagine all how threatening the Apoxians are going to feel when they have that amount of people singing their opponent's national anthem. They will literally try to find any way possible to ruin Apox's chances of scoring. And the Acquans are finally able to celebrate their new nation, with five thousand tickets being raffled off to them, it's going to be a great national initiation.

[OOC: I swear, this is my worst RP]

[Polar Islandstates]

Safe to say, it hadn't been one of the most enjoyable conversations in Gustaf Kolehmainen's life. Of course, the fact that it was required in the first place was an indication of some pretty severely unenjoyable conversations in his recent past, but one bad experience does not negate the unpleasantness of a different if less severe bad experience, and Gustaf had sat and squirmed his way through the awkward half hour chant with his international manager.

In an attempt to get under his skin, Morten Rasmussen had invited Gustaf into his office at the training complex outside the capital, and had sat him down to have a long and frequently awkward conversation with a self-help book about depression. It hadn't really worked to improve Gustaf's mood at all, and if anything had only made him feel worse - knowing now as he did that the management team were aware of his off-field troubles and had noticed it affecting his game. Which it had, to be fair, but a glossary of terms and a poorly thought out 'top ten tips' book from some TV psychologist who'd dropped out of university was never going to help him fix that off the pitch.

What was there to fix, for a start?

What self-help book would ever be able to help him fix the holes in his heart created by the stillbirths and miscarriages that he and his wife had suffered in Surtsey Heights Hospital? Former wife, technically. And for that matter, what self-help book - with or without well-meaning but clueless manager - would be able to help him heal the gaping hole in his life left by his former wife leaving him after the third miscarriage? There was no manual for that. There never would be.

In fairness, there was some grief counselling provided on the FHA that had actually come in useful after his mother had died just months after his father, and until things had gotten worse with his wife that had been working for a while. But then, that had been provided by a professional - not his boss.

In general, though, he'd left Rasmussen's office feeling just as lost as he had when he'd entered. He was still representing his country out there on the pitch though, as Steffan Pekarik had pointed out in an infinitely more useful chat in passing as they walked past each other in the tunnel of the Nasjonale, and that meant a certain amount of effort was required from him. Depressed or not, running away from Surtsey of not, he was still a Tern, and his performances hadn't been good enough up til now.

So, when Villeneuve laid it on a plate for him in the eightieth minute at home to Kazamatsuri, he couldn't miss. Really and truly, this time he couldn't. Not again. Not when scoring goals was the only thing left in his life that he could rely on. He needed to reply on it. He put in that extra burst of pace, reached the ball, and tucked it away to join Konigstein and Lillehammer on the scoresheet.

He celebrated, of course. How could you not? A goal at the Nasjonale, in front of the iconic Ostkurven, he had pretty much no say in the matter.

But it didn't help.

Off the mark at last in World Cup qualifying he may have been, but what was one small goal in the face of the black hole in the centre of his universe? Gustaf Kolehmainen ran back to the centre circle and planted his feet in the turf. He looked at them. They were definitely real, definitely his, and definitely grounded in the real world.

Why then, wasn't he?

[Legalese]

This cutoff goes out to Jason, who we knew should not have left.

Matchday Five in the books, scores soon!

*I'm so, so sorry, everyone

[Audioslavia]

Let's get one thing clear, straight away: Audioslavia are probably going to qualify for the World Cup. No matter how big the dip in form, how utterly devoid of creativity their play, they have more than enough firepower to traverse what is, by all accounts, one of the weakest of the twenty-four qualifying groups. Even on a bad day, the Bulls side will find it very, very difficult to lose a match to the likes of Vaugania, Kitsuna Deesse, Springmont and Costa de Ouro. The side might not sweep all before them as they were expected to, but they certainly won't be watching the playoffs happen from the comfort of their own living room.

It's also important to point out that, despite what twitter users will have you believe, the dip in form is *not* due to the side playing in non-traditional kits this cycle. The same people, or people like them, were complaining at the start of cycle 64 when the side ditched the retro-emblem on their shirts in favour of the now traditional circular FFA shield, after the side had won World Cup 63 with the old fire logo on their shirts. Such mindless superstition was proved to be balls when the side swept all before them to win the tournament for the second time.

First of all, the dip in form isn't as sudden as one would expect. The side's performance in AOCAF43 this summer was well short of the expected standard. Back-to-back 3-0 wins in the first two matches seemed to suggest the side were as good as any, but the awkward (and not to mention riled up by some pre-match ribbing) opposition of Schiavonia showed just how fragile the side's confidence was, and though Audioslavia put up a good fight in the second round, the loss to Valanora was a straight-forward defeat by a frankly better side.

That doesn't, of course, excuse what happened in Cathair on the first weekend of August.

The world has already made all the possible jokes about the side's dire, dreadful 0-0 home draw with lowly Menukten. The narrow victory over second-seeds Kandorith appeared to get the Bulls back on the right track, but back-to-back draws against Vaugania and Kitsuna-Deesse - hardly world beaters - has caused many to question exactly what is happening to a side that has reached the semi finals of four of the last five World Cups - winning two - in between the bitter World Cup final defeat to Polar Islandstates and now.

The mess the FFA has made of appointing a new manager in the wake of Powell Pieran's retirement from international football is at least partially to blame.

Bringing back Andre-Luis Partico for AOCAF43 was sound in theory - the manager is a two-time winner of the AOCAF Cup and deserved the chance to take the reigns again after the manner in which he left his post before World Cup 63 - but the central idea behind the appointment reeked of lack of foresight. What the side needs is, surely, what they had back when they were winning things: an experienced, long-term manager who would create stability in the previously chaotic management structure at the national side. For two full cycles, Israel Klimt and David Radic's stability allowed the FFA's full resources to be fed into the first team. Radic's departure unbalanced the delicate see-saw, and while Alvaro Mozo's appointment was hardly a bad one, Audioslavia's lack-lustre performance in getting ejected from the World Cup in round one was testament to the fact that managerial equilibrium was as important a part of success as a good first eleven.

The subsequent promotion and demotion of Alvaro Mozo created a turbulence that the experienced Powell Pieran couldn't quite dissipate in time for World Cup 66, where the Bulls coasted on home advantage until the semi-finals, and it was only the steady hand of Pieran and the training skills of assistant Mozo that gave the team enough leeway to reach the World Cup 67 final and re-establish themselves as a top-three side.

The part-time appointment of A-LP and the subsequent 'full-time' appointment of the utterly inexperienced John Ryan has, in light of the above, not been a clever choice by the FFA.

John Ryan's stock has dropped dramatically since his appointment. The current all-time cap leader of Audioslavian football (a record that goalkeeper Kajaxo Imaslavii will surely break this cycle) became a national icon through some imperious displays as the national team's first-choice centre-half between World Cups 63 and 66, helped a little by that iconic photograph of him and his effect on the increasingly frustrated Starblaydi strike-force in the WC63 final. Ryan retired a hero, but his appointment in the summer raised questions about whether that paragon status would help the team, not least about how it could be utterly destroyed by a run of bad results.

After the Menukten debacle, Ryan was pilloried in the press, quite rightly, for his side's overly cautious and uninspired play, and further solid-yet-stagnant displays have only brought into question the former defender's ability to set up a side capable of free-flowing attacking football.

Ryan hasn't been helped, of course, by the patchy form of star striker Arturo Hudson-Blake. Hudson-Blake, like his predecessor Karsten Eiger, has made himself a star at the highest level of Polarian football - otherwise known as the highest level of club football full stop - but the striker has looked frustrated in his displays thus far, snapping angrily at team-mates and finger-pointing when the likes of Eiger would be trying to gee his team up. Hudson-Blake has undoubtedly gotten used to, and definitely prefers, being part of a two-man strike force as he was in Apox and is in Polar Islandstates, and the lone-striker role that seemed to work four years ago has proved fruitless thus far this cycle. Speaking of things not bearing a fruit, an odd choice of midfield has made the centre of the park - the position where Audioslavians are usually so strong - a little suspect in recent games. Three of the five midfielders are playing in the wrong position. Vucidini Zekani has been shunted out onto the right after having previously played as a deep-lying striker - the position he usually occupies at Makosile United. Oljestaden's attacking midfielder Jody Rijshaart - a precocious talent but surprise choice ahead of the more experienced Jarvinen, Robles and Johanssen - is playing out of position on the left, and the nineteen year old hasn't been able to reproduce his club form on the international stage. Txordin Zerubeltzak, the midfielder at 1896 Ebor, has been given an attacking role far more advanced than his more central position for his club. The fact that Alexander Kirk, Paco Robles and Luca Mancini - seasoned internationals with proven credentials in the national team - have been left on the bench in favour of younger talent has puzzled some pundits and fans who would prefer the national side to be more of a far-away target for young, unproven players to aim for rather than a proving ground for youths of the LigAnaia.

And there, with that word, is possibly the biggest of the reasons for Audioslavia's dip in form.

In previous years, Audioslavia's meagre, state-owned club football bred groups of players who learned first to play with one another, and then were shuttled out to the far reaches of the world to hone their skills and bring back new techniques and strategies to the national team. Now, with the professional, capitalist structure of the new pro leagues, young players are not playing with each other but, rather, the types of sub-standard foreign players willing to take a step down into the lowly waters of Audioslavian club football. The LigAnaia is hardly a joke, but when compared to the level of play in Polaria, Mytannion, Astograth and the like, there is far, far to travel.

The standard of play is, so far, so low, that younger players don't seem to be getting quite the tutoring than they did ten years ago *but*, and this is important, are being lauded just as much by fans who get to see them dance round the amateurish LigAnaia defenders week in, week out, and when the standard is so low, what reason does any youngling have for improving their game?

Audioslavia's bloated national team squad includes the likes of Hufdis Uulver, Lortzen Crossport, Tiro Zehatzena, Calixto Prudentzio and Xurxo-Luis Luminez. Young players who have impressed in the LigAnaia - some enough to have been given lucrative contracts abroad - but who have yet to display anything like the levels of technique seen in the so-called 'golden generation' of, well, the previous generation. Midfielder-cum-winger Jody Rijshaart is certainly the most prodigious talent of the lot, but he has too often, so far, been carried in games by the experienced central midfield partnership of Zerubeltzak and Zubiri, and his full-back Arne Polsson.

The difference between the easy-going LigAnaia, where Audioslavian and Syndicatian opposition are at best average and at worst Shamrock Cathair, is not doing the national game any favours. One can point to the relative ease at which The Inevitable Syndicate are progressing through qualifying, but the Syndicatians have always had a professional league of the current standard, and so for them no spanner has been wrenched into the works.

If the Bulls go on to win their next ten games, possibly starting with something like a 3-0 away win over Paradystopi Lymryk Isles and relegate this apparent crisis to the status of a mere blip, then all the above is rendered entirely moot. Indeed, one might even look back at this article and consider informing me that a change of jobs, from football journalist to someone more comfortable scrutinising horseradish and entertaining Paradystopi socialioligists, might be in order. Nevertheless, the underlying point still stands. Audioslavian football has changed. It needed to change, despite previous successes. John Ryan might not be the man to steer the good ship Audioslavia to the promised land, but whether he's still in a job come the start of World Cup 68 or not, it will take a lot more than a few boring draws to completely ruin this nation's football.

[Saintland]

St. Petrus, Saintland

For the first time in over a month, King Petrus XX was finally able to sneak out of the Royal Palace, unnoticed, in the evening. Andreas was busy running a practice, while Josephus was still in Saugeais and Ioannes was in attendance to watch the University of Saintland lose yet another NSCAA basketball game. With the entire Royal Family preoccupied, nobody noticed when the King took on the guise of a commoner and left the Palace through a secret passage known only to the Royal Family. He left, unseen even by the guards and headed toward St. Petrus.

It was already dark outside and the weather was about what you'd expect in Saintland in early March. It was cold, but King Petrus was used to the cold. Once again, he made his way through the town, without anybody figuring out his identity. This was Saintland. Almost everybody was blond-haired and blue-eyed, so the only way to identify somebody was by their face and body type. However, there were enough Sanctii that looked similarly to the Royals that it was very difficult to identify a Royal unless he was giving it away by his choice of clothing. Sanctii sumptuary laws restricted certain styles of clothing to the Royal Family, a policy that made it easier for Royals to distinguish themselves from non-Royals. The severity of the penalties for violating that law had a significant deterrent effect. If somebody on the streets of St. Petrus looked like a Royal, most everybody assumed that they were, in fact, a Royal.

Effectively, this meant that it was very easy for the King to disguise himself as a commoner and walk the streets of the capitol. His destination was the home of Veronica Artemieva, his secret lover. They had been carrying on a secret relationship for over a year now and, now that he was King, Petrus intended to marry her. Were his father alive, there would have been no way that he could marry a foreign resident like Veronica, who was born in the Free Republics, and still retain his status as heir to the Throne. In fact, that was the reason why they had not yet been wed. Even now, he would have to be careful, for the Patriarch still lived and seemed, to the King's knowledge, to be in good health. Indeed, the King would likely have to do something to placate the hard-liners before he could officially announce their engagement. In any case, no official announcement of the engagement could come until after the Coronation.

King Petrus XX arrived at the door to the Artemieva residence and knocked on it. To her parents, he was a student at the University of Saintland, studying elementary education with the intention of teaching at a foreign resident school. It simply would have been too dangerous to reveal his true identity to her parents. The more people that knew about their secret relationship, the greater the chance that it could be revealed. That was a chance that they were not willing to take. Finally, she answered and they went into her room.

Veronica Artemieva - You must have been busy, Petrus.

King Petrus XX - I was. First, my father was killed and then I was stuck organizing the World Cup of Hockey, because one of his last decisions was to bid for it.

Veronica Artemieva - I'm sure it must have been an awful last month or so for you.

King Petrus XX - It was. I've been busy all day long for weeks now.

Veronica Artemieva - When you're the King of a relatively high profile nation, you're going to be busy. I'm just glad that you found the time to see me.

King Petrus XX - Its nice to just be able to forget about all of my responsibilities for a while.

Veronica Artemieva - But, you must have the power to do whatever you want now that you're King.

King Petrus XX - Actually, I don't. I have to keep the Patriarch happy or he can excommunicate me.

Veronica Artemieva - The Patriarch? Why does an old priest have so much power and control anyway?

King Petrus XX - Veronica, the Patriarch is considered God's worldly spokesman. He is infallible and his word is the Word of God.

Veronica Artemieva - But, isn't he appointed by the King? Why would a political appointee's word be considered the word of God?

King Petrus XX - Because he is the leader of the True Church. It is what it is. If I'm going to reform things, I will have to appoint a reform-minded Patriarch.

Veronica Artemieva - Does the Patriarch have to be a priest before he is appointed Patriarch?

King Petrus XX - No, although no king since King Josephus X has appointed a Patriarch who wasn't a member of the Clergy.

Veronica Artemieva - When you have the opportunity, appoint somebody whom you absolutely trust as Patriarch.

King Petrus XX - I will. I already know whom I am going to appoint, although I will put up the necessary pretenses before I make the appointment.

Veronica Artemieva - What do you mean?

King Petrus XX - The King has to, at the very least, look like he's consulting with God regarding his choice for Patriarch. If he doesn't, that would arouse suspicion.

Veronica Artemieva - Arouse suspicion?

King Petrus XX - The idea is that God is choosing the Patriarch. If you just quickly choose a Patriarch, without appearing to deliberate on it, then it looks like you chose him, not God.

Veronica Artemieva - I think I understand. So, this whole Church of Saintland business is really just a way to control the people?

King Petrus XX - No, certainly not. The Church does many good things, whether or not its teachings are actually true. The problem with the Church is that it has, under the control of hardliners, put social control ahead of compassion.

Veronica Artemieva - I see where you're coming from.

King Petrus XX - Come to think of it, I'd like to know what you think about the differences between the Free Republics and my Kingdom. Please tell me what you really think.

Veronica hesitated, spending a few moments to think about her answer.

Veronica Artemieva - The Free Republics is definitely more technologically advanced and I think that's a good thing, but I like that it is safer here and I like the way the Government and the Church care for the needy. I understand why my parents moved here, but I do think that the Church has gone too far at times.

King Petrus XX listened as she expressed views about the differences between Saintland and the Free Republics that he shared.

King Petrus XX - Thank you for speaking your mind. That's what I love most about you.

Veronica Artemieva - Actually, in the Free Republics, women are comfortable saying what we think.

King Petrus XX - I noticed that when I visited the FFR. Its a nice country to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there, no offense.

Veronica Artemieva - None taken. I don't particularly want to go back there either, especially with the Party for National Greatness becoming more powerful back home. Those people are terrifying.

King Petrus XX - Are they the ones that hate foreigners and anybody in their country who doesn't look like they do?

Veronica Artemieva - Yes. They hate immigrants and they want to start wars with just about everybody. If they ever take over, they will start a war that will bring death and destruction to all involved and they are so stubborn that they won't stop until they win or until they are completely defeated.

King Petrus XX - Is there really anybody who wants war that badly?

Veronica Artemieva - They do.

King Petrus XX - I hope you're wrong, for the sake of everybody in the Kingdom.

Veronica Artemieva - I hope so as well.

King Petrus XX - I think we've dwelled on that long enough.

Veronica Artemieva - Agreed. Besides, there's something I've wanted to talk to you about ever since you became King.

King Petrus XX - Go ahead.

Veronica Artemieva - Its about the foreign resident situation.

King Petrus XX - By all means...

Veronica Artemieva - Many in the foreign resident community are deeply distrustful of the Royal Family, especially after the way your father handled that situation last year. I agree that the acts committed in that park were disgusting and I understood that some schools were corrupting the morals of their students, but I don't think there was a need to put the Church in charge of our schools. There's a suspicion going around that the Royal Family is intent on coercing us into the Church.

King Petrus XX - That is completely untrue. We recognize that you must join the Church of your own free will, if you weren't born into it. While I think everybody should join the Church, I'm not going to compel anybody to do so.

Veronica Artemieva - I know, but there's this fear going around. I think it'd be in the best interests of everybody if you used your power to abolish the position of High Inquisitor at every foreign resident school.

King Petrus XX - Actually, when the school year ends in a little under 3 months, I will have the choice to retain the position or terminate it at each school that still has a High Inquisitor. My father actually terminated most of the High Inquisitor positions at the end of last school year and I intend to put an end to that program.

Veronica Artemieva - But, will you also remove Sister Polus from her Headmistress position?

King Petrus XX - That would be more difficult and I can justify doing that if she gives me cause to do so, but I don't think she has any business being around children.

Veronica Artemieva - I don't think it'll take her long to give you the cause you need. She's going to lose it when you begin enacting reforms.

King Petrus XX - Veronica, I hope she violates our sedition laws. If she does, I'll be certain to sentence her to some time in the branks.

Veronica laughed.

Veronica Artemieva - Now that's exactly what she deserves. I just can't stand that woman and she only irritates me even more every time she opens her mouth.

King Petrus XX - I feel the same way. People like her are the most effective proponents of atheism.

Veronica Artemieva - That's definitely the truth.

There was a pause and then King Petrus remembered something.

King Petrus XX - I know this is probably coming out of the blue, but Veronica, will you marry me?

She hesitated for a moment, thinking about her decision.

Veronica Artemieva - I will, but when?

King Petrus XX - We can't announce our engagement until after the Coronation.

Veronica Artemieva - Certainly not. You're not officially the King yet.

King Petrus XX - Can we reveal my identity to your parents?

Veronica Artemieva - I think we'd better wait. No need to go through all of that right now.

King Petrus XX - I'll be back soon.

Veronica Artemieva - Just don't tell anybody until we're safe.

King Petrus XX - I won't. I want us to rule this Kingdom together.

They said their goodbyes and went their separate ways, for now...

[Qazox]

QSPNWC68.com

Qazox snapped it's 3-game losing streak with a 2-0 win over Taslantis, keeping them in the playoff hunt. While the Tasians played well in their first visit to Qazian Memorial, the home field advantage was too much to overcome.

The first half was slow paced due to a late afternoon rain that soaked the Qazox City area just before kickoff. As the field slowly dried, the teams began to quicken the pace, with Qazox having the slight edge, leading to Naomi Fine's goal in the 43rd minute.

In the second half, both teams played at a quicker pace, as the pitch had all but dried; but all that lead to was a sloppier game with fouls being called seemingly every other possession. But Qazox managed to sneak Irena Lomax through the Tasian defense, and her goal in the 68th minute made it 2-0.

Up next Qazox hosts Kazamatsuri.

[New Sideburn]

"New Sideburn," said Jess Mortlock quietly, "is a footballing power now."
"Right," said her assistant manager. Darryl Boyden was a bitter chainsmoker with over a decade of managerial experience but little inclination to stay in that role. His current duty suited him better, with managerial duties over the promising U-21 side a pleasant distraction.
The two were having a quiet work watching over the main side as they trained - the first day back from a convincing victory over ABsC. Anna Shrike hit the first goal from distance, then crossed for Rook Cathar to head in. Brightley nailed the third from a free kick to give them a massive advantage headed into half-time. They pulled one back, but Konrad Evans' great run culminated in him chipping over the goalkeeper to put the game to rest.
"So what," said Boyden after a period of silence. "You want my advice?"
"That obvious?"
"Yeah. Pretty much. Why else would you want me? You Chenoworthers aren't fuckin' subtle." Boyden lit up again, and offered another to his guv'nor - a rare and social smoker, who accepted it. "Right. On what."
"Publically I'm very confident we're making the World Cup. Publically, you understand."
"Anything less'd be suicide. But privately..."
"I'm less sure," Mortlock admitted. "Our chances are good on paper, but there's just the playoffs to contend with..."
"We made it through the Republics last time," pointed out Boyden. "It's likely we'll just be playing two weaker teams."
"Aye."
"And we're a good bet to pass Valladares if we can get that home win. We've looked amazing recently - a cut above the last cycle. Even if we don't make it, the press and fans couldn't complain if we won the Cup of Harmony. We could do it. This team could totally do it."
"I'm just... the pressure's getting to me."
Boyden sighed. "Well... I'm not gonna lie. You came at a rough time - just as we qualified, and now we look good to do so again, just barely seeded in the top 30. You were strong with Crisisbless. The team's strength was backslidin' - you halted that slide. You put 'em back in a position of the strength and you held off your detractors until they realised you simply didn't have a squad strong enough to compete the way the club used to. But this time you got the ways and means."
Mortlock nodded. Boyden noticed she seemed a little pale, almost staring out into space.
"Look, you've done fine so far. Ever since that win over Brenecia we've been smooth and firing on all guns. We used to get kind of jittery under pressure, even from weak sides - not now. The team's got the backbone and self-confidence to blow teams through - not just weak teams, either, but Brenecia and Cesky are strong too, nobody would have blinked if they'd held us to a draw. Instead we knock four goals in against each. The team's turned a corner, and it seems like even the players know that."
Mortlock looked back at her assistant. "And what if that doesn't work?"
"We don't have t' worry about that. Fuck, why worry? 'S good energy we could use t' fuckin' go through! And if you get fired, it's not the end of the fuckin' world."
Mortlock nearly choked on her cigarette. "You're shitting me. No, I'm not gonna be the first failure of the modern era."
"Then win enough matches and you won't be." Boyden put out the cigarette on the wall, flicked it onto the grass, and nodded. "I'll catch y' round, guv."
"Yeah," said Mortlock faintly, as the wind picked up. "See you."

[Brenecia]

http://www.patriotsown.net.bre/schiavonia_home
ON THE ROAD - PATRIOTS vs SCHIAVONIA

Went to the new Kingsgarden for the first time. Difficult place to go because the train route is fucking wank and walking around the centre of Rozelle is the most depressing thing in the world, liable to make one lose faith in the entire concept of Brenecian independence, but by the end I'd made it there and there were plenty of other navy-blue-clad fans there as well. Not many in orange, but Schiavonia has a population of less than a thousand, so even though they aren't a giant of football there's still a bloody decent proportion of professionals to citizens. I saw about three of them outside the stadium looking vaguely lost, then I bought them canned lager which was admittedly shit and probably not a good advertisement of Brenecia overall but there it is.

Schiavonia is a last-pot team but with a lot of history behind them, more than us, which makes it kind of nice to see us tipped as heavy favourites by the bookies. And we're in our lovely new stadium which we've filled out our section in blue, meanwhile the away end looks a little... empty. As the players are trotting out I notice the fact that while most of their players come from presumably local teams I've never heard of their goalkeeper plays for Jungle Strike, so now we're entering a second successive match where their goalkeeper is probably paid more than our entire squad. Good thing we have Brad Kuepper, I think, then I look at the bench and see the cunt sitting there with the rest of the idiots. Shit.

Still, we really look up for this and fifteen minutes in we're flying, just like a shot from Spitfire that is probably still in the sky as I type this report. Our ineptitude in front of goal continues as Spitfire follows this up with a free kick that tries to very slowly tunnel into the earth, and a cross from Chartreuse ends up in the stands for a throw-in. And then Bryson goes through on goal and attempts to literally shoot the ball through O'Connor's torso. This doesn't work, and we're level coming into the break despite having most of the chances.

We look a lot better in the second half and they look more motivated, and this is nearly a very bad thing as Hogan is played through our slow shite octogenarian defence and lands a very decent shot on target, with only Franca Connell, God fucking bless, keeping us in the match. Still, it's been their first shot, and despite good defensive work from Schiavonia and their really good goalkeeper Cheney Belconnen takes a cross on his chest and volleys it in at the post from point-blank. We cheer a lot and then the announcer reminds us its his first international goal and we cheer again, because we love a young lad come good. One-nil and with Slatesaver doing his standard cautious routine it stays that way.

It makes me almost miss the days when Hemingway was in charge and we didn't have a defence at all - I mean his entire theory was built around defensive discipline, but it just never worked, and when we went a goal down we madly chased the lead and scored two and conceded seven and it was brilliant, even though we were shit. But now we're negative and reactionary and God damn if it hasn't made the difference, but you have to wonder where the balance between 'winning' and 'having players who aren't thirty-five' lies. Either way, credit to Schiavonia for making a fight of it, and I'd quite like to see them slip into fourth or so. Just not over us.

[Antoletia]

Fire Ants Top Falcus

Long has football been a sport, and long has the age old saying "Score more points than the other team," been thrown around at any level of sport. For the Fire Ants getting back to this basic idea was necessary as they took on undefeated Falcus on the road. The Fire Ants ultimately did what they came into the game looking to do, scoring 3 goals to the Falcus sides 1. Ultimately it was a big road victory for the Ants, after just having fallen to the slightly lower ranked pot 3 side Estope at home. This victory will hopefully push them into the final 2 games with a chance at making themselves one of the top 3 teams and pushing themselves on to the next round of qualifiers, the playoffs.

It was a big game, not only for the the offense but the defense ass well, as only 1 goal was scored against in the effort. The Ants got the early road goal thanks to a majestic run from Hannibal down the right side, then a cut in and a looping cross for a volley from Georghe von Leeweonheouck. The Falcus side answered rather quickly and going into the half the game was all knotted up. After the half though things once again started going the Ants way as Raphael put a long ball forward for Anton Gregovich who continued his impressive form in the tournament scoring his 6th goal of the qualifiers. The Ants would get a third from substitute Clyde Dickens who won a corner kick and drove the ball on the ensuing kick into the back of the net.

[Taeshan]

Purple Knights Pick up road win in Kintratar

All you have to do to qualify is win as many games as you can, it doesnt matter at the end of the campaign if you only win each game by 1, style points don't really matter. Unless you are tied with someone else, than they kinda do. But as long as you keep winning you should not have to worry about that. The Knights kept winning last night in Kintratar as they defeated the home side 1-0 and won their 3rd game in a row, and 4th game of the qualifying campaign. The result keeps them on pace to set up a big matchup in the Altantea Coliseum just a few months from now. Valanora vs Taeshan part 11. This time its necessary. With wins in the next 3 matches the Knights can really put their qualifying hopes, and playoff chances in their own hands.

Speaking of having things in your own hands, Joe Jackson has had the Knights in his own hands all season. Only two goals against, on the road against Valanora which can be expected, and the Taeshan goalkeeper is proving essential to the teams dream of once again qualifying for the worlds grandest stage. Jackson has continued to be the man for the Knights and when goal scoring opportunities dry up he can be the difference between a win and a tie. In Kintratar the Knights were at a disadvantage in the offensive category. Their opponents played 11 men in their half of the field trying to some how make a mark on the game. Ultimately the Knights were able to break through thanks to Brian Ibrahim winning a free kick near the goal, and Mark Tlumach making it two goals in two games with an impressive driven ball over the wall and past the keeper. Then the Knights needed not to worry about their own goal, with the capable hands of Joe Jackson.

[Sangti]

WORLD CUP 68 QUALIFYING
New Mumford battering puts Agilang Dilaw back into contention
by Edric Conciso

SANGTI - After defeat against Astograth last time that put a dent in their World Cup hopes, The Royal Barangay managed to put the setback aside and focus to thrash unranked side New Mumford, 4-0 on a windy night at the Estadio Olimpico. Robin Linsangan returned to his old form, scoring two goals and an assist. Adrian Magcaleng and Marco Escuro scored one apiece to put the Agilang Dilaw three points behind The Inevitable Syndicate, who drew with group Star United States. Olibondeka meanwhile has seized the lead after their 4-2 win at Carialus.

Rick Martinez made four changes from the side who lost at the Grand Duke's Stadium, with Daniel Cablayan and Roochie Perez forming the back four, replacing the suspended Luke Docdoc and Mari Arceo. Marty Balido gets his first start for the qualifying campaign, and Rafael Legaspi and Marco Escuro replacing Samuel Magsombol and Daren Corsiga respectively. The Barangayans started the match well, with chances came begging for Escuro in the 5th and 11th minute, with the New Mumford defense alert with the attack. However, they were unable to contain the attack, and conceded the first goal in the twenty-first minute.

After Bamber Tal fouled Magcaleng just outside the box, Linsangan struck the resulting free kick with sheer force, too powerful for keeper Adler Bial to handle. After eight minutes, another goal for TRB, and this time, Linsangan the provider for Marco Escuro. the central attacking midfielder found a hole in the opposition defense and initiated a beautiful through ball to the open youngster, whose shot rolled past Bial. There were some chances by the visiting side, but Heinz Schöningen's efforts were put away by the Tiagosan keeper. It remained 2-0 at half time.

By the time the two teams got out of the tunnel, the match continued to be dominated by the Barangayans. At the fifty-fifth minute, Magcaleng produced a magnificent individual effort to prove to the multiverse that he has still the kicks to be successful in football. Linsangan completed the rout in the sixty-eighth minute with another screamer, this time, assisted by a big deflection from Reto Pagel's leg which flew past Bial and into the back of the net. The Agilang Dilaw made a triple substitution, with Christiann Sanchez, Elmer Prudente and Kid Marchadesch seeing action in place of Linsangan, Perez and Legaspi.

After the win, the team, who wore their famous yellow and black kits, applauded their home support and celebrated on the pitch, ending their three match slump. With upcoming away matches against Carialus, Star United States and New South Aqmuland upcoming, Rick Martinez knows that dropping any points would further dampen their bid for the World Cup finals in Legalese and Free Republics.

[Annar]

Vimes smiled. Annar had actually won a couple now. Rincewind was back. He scored a goal. In his usual, quasi-accidental way. Vimes was actually finding himself getting interested in the games. But now he had to get back to the assassins. He had found another at the end of the match. This one was a cyborg. Vimes had him in for questioning.

In addition, Javert was still trying to sue all the country which Annar had played away games at. He took tape measures to the walls to make sure that everything was exactly regulation size. So far Vimes had managed to keep him somewhat under control. Marvin had somehow heard of the assassins, and now naturally assumed that they were teaming up with every other team in group 9 for the sole purpose of killing him. Vimes would have to talk to him to. First, however, he needed to send an email to his son. He hadn't sent one for awhile, and he didn't want young Sam to worry.

When that was finished, he headed down to the place he was storing the cyborg. He needed answers.

"Who sent you."

"I will say nothing."

"You just said something. Say something useful why don't you."

"Self-destruct in 5-4-3...

"SERIOUSLY?!" Vimes barely escaped the building before an explosion lit everything on fire. The fire crew had had a hard time putting that out. Vimes collapsed in his bed, exhausted. In his dreams, cyborg Marvin attacked everybody with lightning to give robo-Rincewind time to escape. Everybody screamed. Vimes himself tried to calm everybody down with ice cream. He woke up feeling stupid. You should never give Rincewind ice cream.