Friendly Cup 9 IC

[Maklohi Vai]

Matchday 3 Cutoff

[Maklohi Vai]

Group 1
Gaveo 5-2 New Lonopolian Empire
United Republic of Indiana 1-2 Texacano

Group 1 Standings

   Team                         P  W D  L For Ag +/- Pts
 1 Polkopia                     2  2 0  0  10  4  +6  6
 2 Gaveo                        2  2 0  0   7  2  +5  6
 3 Texacano                     3  2 0  1   7  8  -1  6
 4 New Lonopolian Empire        2  0 0  2   2  7  -5  0
 5 United Republic of Indiana   3  0 0  3   2  7  -5  0

Group 2
Paradystopia 2-2 Cassadaigua
Windport 1-1 Kalusia

Group 2 Standings

   Team                          P  W D  L For Ag +/- Pts
 1 The Royal Kingdom of Quebec   2  2 0  0  3   0  +3  6
 2 Paradystopia                  2  1 1  0  5   2  +3  4
 3 Kalusia                       3  1 1  1  2   2  +0  4
 4 Cassadaigua                   2  0 1  1  2   3  -1  1
 5 Windport                      3  0 1  2  1   6  -5  1

Group 3
Hujukialand 2-1 The united kingdoms of zackalantis
Myrtle Isles 2-2 Levivania

Group 3 Standings

   Team                                 P  W D  L For Ag +/- Pts
 1 Hujukialand                          2  2 0  0  4   1  +3  6
 2 The united kingdoms of zackalantis   2  1 0  1  4   3  +1  3
 3 Camerania                            2  0 2  0  1   1  +0  2
 4 Levivania                            3  0 2  1  4   6  -2  2
 5 Myrtle Isles                         3  0 2  1  2   4  -2  2

Group 4
Boring Paradise 4-0 Utilitas
Northton 1-1 Faikliren

Group 4 Standings

   Team             P  W D  L For Ag +/- Pts
 1 Faikliren        3  1 2  0  3   1  +2  5
 2 Rovegia          2  1 1  0  2   0  +2  4
 3 Boring Paradise  2  1 1  0  4   0  +4  3
 4 Northton         3  0 2  1  1   3  -2  2
 5 Utilitas         2  0 0  2  0   6  -6  0

Group 5
Soviet Canuckistan 1-0 Chiata
Levivania 2 2-4 Alitaba

Group 5 Standings

   Team                P  W D  L For Ag +/- Pts
 1 Alitaba             3  2 1  0  5   2  +3  7
 2 Soviet Canuckistan  2  2 0  0  2   0  +2  6
 3 Filopines           2  1 1  0  2   1  +1  4
 4 Chiata              2  0 0  2  0   2  -2  0
 5 Levivania 2         3  0 0  3  3   7  -4  0

Group 6
Kintratar 2-0 Ainin
Savski Venac 0-1 Ukrainya

Group 6 Standings

   Team              P  W D  L For Ag +/- Pts
 1 Kintratar         2  2 0  0  8   0  +8  6
 2 The Sova Empire   2  2 0  0  5   0  +5  6
 3 Ainin             2  1 0  1  2   2  +0  3
 4 Ukrainya          3  1 0  2  1   4  -3  3
 5 Savski Venac      3  0 0  3  0  10 -10  0

Group 7
Max empire 2-1 Super-Llamaland
Darrenovia 1-3 Beaverriver

Group 7 Standings

   Team              P  W D  L For Ag +/- Pts
 1 Darmen            2  2 0  0  8   3  +5  6
 2 Max empire        2  2 0  0  5   1  +4  6
 3 Beaverriver       3  1 1  1  5   4  +1  4
 4 Super-Llamaland   2  0 1  1  2   3  -1  1
 5 Darrenovia        3  0 0  3  3  12  -9  0

Group 8
Maklohi Vai 3-0 Pikkewyn
Sicoutimont 2-0 Yugiohistan

Group 8 Standings

   Team           P  W D  L For Ag +/- Pts
 1 Maklohi Vai    2  2 0  0  5   0  +5  6
 2 Lymantatia     2  2 0  0  3   0  +3  6
 3 Sicoutimont    3  1 0  2  2   4  -2  3
 4 Yugiohistan    3  1 0  2  4   4  +0  3
 5 Pikkewyn       2  0 0  2  0   7  -7  0

Reason for edit: Putting tables in.

[Max Empire]

Maxopolis Times: Max Empire wins on Matchdays two and three!

The nation is in complete celebration. Our Soccert team, under coach Opoloxonite has delivered exellent results. First with the 3-0 win against Darrenovia and then the 2-1 win against Super-Llamaland. The nation is rejoicing, but people are still nervous about the goal difference between Darmen and the Empire. The nation is eager to see the team win the next match. Althought the suspence is somewhat distrubing, this has not stopped the nation from going insane. A reported 150 million Maxian Dollers where spent on food from hot dog stands and other street vendors, as parades and crazy fans lined the streets. The nation has never seen so many people on the streets exept the time when the team suffered a disasterious participation in the Friendly Cup 3 and fans burned the National Sports League headquarters. The nation wishes our team good luck and hopes they enjoy their stay in the great host nation of Maklohi Vai.

[Chiata]

Chiata Sports Network

**Chiata Sports Network is sponsered by:
Jared Auto
Glenbrook Financial
North Airlines
The National Football Asoisiation of Chiata**

Frank- Good morning everyone. I'm Frank Zian.

Jordy- And I'm Jordy Upwalker.

Frank- This is Chiata Sports Network.

Jordy- What is our topic for this segment, Frank?

Frank- Today, we will talk about the Chiata Pumas.

Jordy- Ah, yes. Them. So how are they doing?

Frank- Not very good. It looks like they might repeat their performance from thier season with the Soviet Bloc League.

Jordy- On matchday 3 they went up agaibst Soviet Canuckistan. It wasn't prety either.

Frank- The Pumas lost 1-0 against them. However, they hang onto the no. 4 spot in group 5.

Jordy- They sad thing is, they havn't scored at all after 3 matchdays.

Frank- Aslo, thier already locked out of the playoffs. The most points they can get is 6 and the leader of the group has 7 points.

Jordy- Grim indead.

Frank- Join us next time as we talk about the group draws for the upcoming olympics.

**Chiata Sports Network is sponsered by:
Jared Auto
Glenbrook Financial
North Airlines
The National Football Asoisiation of Chiata**

[The Royal Kingdom of Quebec]

Royal Kingdom of Quebec Executioners

Official Name: The Royal Quebec Soccer Association
Founded: 1889
Country Code: QUE
Based on: Quebec City, The Royal Kingdom of Quebec
Nickname: Executioners
Regulating League: Quebec Soccer League[/i]
Style Modifier: +5
Home Stadium: St.Croix Stadium (48,750)

Choose my goalscorers: Y
Godmod scoring events: Y
RP injuries to my players: N
Godmod injuries to my players: N
Hand out yellow cards to my players: N
Hand out red cards to my players: N
Godmod other events: N
Style Modifiers: +5

Strategies
Offence: Heavy loads of passing,mixed of long and short. Goes as a pack.
Defense: Gritty playing style. Focusing on severely injuring and killing players by tackles, hits on sensitive spots(especially groins) and fights.

Coaching staff
Head Coach:[/b] Martin Robertshawe
Assistant Coaches: Brent Houde
Seung Gil Lemieux
Team Doctor:Benoit Rheaueme-Jones

Squad:GK- Luca Di Angelo
Bernard Auger
LB - Lorne Hefferman
Benny-Jones Schwartz
CB - Seo Weon Gong
Francois Regimbault
CB - Lucien Bernard
Darryl Hunt-Lee
RB - Marc Thirroul
In Go Park
LM - Gary "the Socially Incompetent" Lowen-Jang
Irwin Schmidt
CM - Leonard Marcoux
Gerard Konson
CM - Conn Smith
Seong Joon Yoon
RM - Mikhail Solokov
Stephane Bertrand
ST - Mikaël Ruel
Dalton Harper
ST - Marcel Bergeron
Joo Seong Ilwon

[Levivania]

The Levivania national team was in this! Yesterday's game resulted in another tie, they were only 1 point behind second place. Defender Danny Muller made the game tying goal and saved them. After the game they celebrated at a local dance club, the party got pretty crazy. Danny Burke danced like there was no tomorrow by striping his shirt off and getting sprayed by a wine bottle. After that Mike Laznbey the Goalie Blue Chip prospect with the fate of the team riding in him came to his hotel room and called his girl friend on what was going on. He told her that the pool play was close and they were determined to make it. Then they went to sleep, Levi Goldman the star player and Captain woke everybody up early by blasting heavy mettle music. Then before breakfast they took an early morning 7 mile run through the city. Then, they did some scrimmaging and had breakfast. Backup goalie Derrick Ricks, was jealous of Mike Laznbey. Before Mike came around he was the starting goalie for the national team, and he though he did a fine job. Then, there was all this hipe about Mike and as quick as that Derrick lost his starting job. Mike has not been playing that well he hasn't even won a damn game yet! Derrick thought to him self.

[Texacano]

Lobos Rebound Versus Indiana 1-2, Gaveo a Must-Win
The Lobos returned to above .500 in the Friendly Cup today as they defeated the United Republic of Indiana 1-2 in Maklohi Vai. Coach Ramon del Santo called the win "acceptable" in a postgame address to the team and fans, but noted that a win over second-ranked Gaveo is the only chance that Texacano has at making the quarterfinals.

"We played well today," said del Santo in his post-game address, "But we do not control our destiny. With a solid win over Gaveo, we have a chance at the playoffs, but we will have to await the results of other matches to know for sure."

In order for Texacano to advance, the New Lonopolian Empire would need to defeat Polkopia, and Texacano would need to defeat Gaveo to take the lead in the group with nine points. Gaveo would then need to defeat or draw Polkopia on matchday five, when the Lobos have a bye, so that the Lobos advance over on either points, should it be a draw, or head-to-head, should they defeat Gaveo. The most far-fetched part of this scheme, of course, is the chance that the Lonopolians, who fell 2-0 to Texacano, should defeat Polkopia.

The match today was a slow-paced, midfield-focused duel that saw both of its goals from Texacano on either side of halftime. The United Republic scored early off a fast break, bringing the ball home with stunning alacrity, only to slow up for the rest of the match in an attempt to play to a draw or a 1-0 victory. Nicholas Schank broke the stalemate at 44', chipping the ball in off a corner kick, and the winning goal came from Brendan McConaghey at 57'.

[Paradystopia]

"What rhymes with 'Vai'?"
"I dunno. 'High'? 'Sky'? 'Shepherd's Pie'?"
"Dammit man, I don't want to think about food after last night. I still can't get the taste of salty vomit out of my mouth."
"You threw up?"
"Oh yes ... I had a chat with Sirius earlier so as the Paradystopi FA don't get a shock when there's an additional 'room cleaning' cost on the hotel expenses."
"Haha."
"Yeah yeah. Laugh it up."
"So what's with the rhymes anyway?"
"Well, I just felt like writing a poem. Was gonna write one about the upcoming match with Kalusia but what the fuck rhymes with Kalusia?"
"Sprucier?"
"What?"
"A word I just made up. It means 'more like a pine tree'"
"Inspired ... Well, anyway, so that failed so I thought I'd write about our draw with Cassadaigua ... but that's just as bad. So I opted for Maklohi Vai."
"Fair enough. What do you have so far?"
"Not a lot. 'Here I am in Maklohi Vai' ... and, well, that's sort of it so far."
"Wow ... that must have taken you all morning ... "
"What can I say, I'm hungover. Rough as a badger's arse ... "
"Ha ... What about ...
'Here I am in Maklohi Vai
With sandy beaches and lone palm trees sparse
Drank tequila 'til I wanted to die
And now feel rough as the proverbial badger's arse.'"
"Beautiful ... "
"Not bad if I do say so myself."
"I was hoping for something, well, more poetic ..."
"Meh, I'm not really the poetic type. I'll stick to the dirty, little ditties and stupid jokes"
"Whatever floats your boat. Know any good jokes?"
"Many."
"Go on then ..."
"Okay, so there's a Licentian, an Apoxian and a Communadi and they're approached by a strange, old man who insists he has a magic slide and anything they shouted during their descent would be what they land in at the bottom. The Apoxian steps up first, dubious that the slide's the real deal ..."
"So there's an old guy with a slide in the middle of the street? Also, where in the multiverse would a Licentian, a Communadi and an Apoxian be walking along happily together?"
"Because magic slides are a totally real everyday occurance ... Does it matter ... really?"
"Ok, suppose not."
"Right ... so ... oh yeah. The Apoxian steps up first and as he slides down the slide he yells 'Gold!' and sure enough, when he reaches the bottom, he lands in a huge pile of gold, which he quickly gathers up and runs off with. Next, the Licen..."
"Surely that would hurt. You know, landing on a pile of metal ..."
"Do you want to hear this joke or not?!"
"Fine ... Sorry ... "
"Right, next the Licentian, who plans to out-do the Apoxian. As he descends, He screams 'Diamonds!' and sure enough, he lands in a huge pile of diamonds, gathers them up and runs off. Then the Communadi, well, by this point he's overcome with the thought of doing something enjoyable for once, forgets the slide is magical and slides down laughing and going 'Wheee!' Haha."
"Sorry, what? I don't get it ..."
"Wheee ... "
"And ..."
"He lands in a great puddle of piss ... "
"Oh! ... 'Wheee' ... Haha, I get it ... Haha."
"If you're that slow against Kalusia, we ain't got a chance of qualifying ... "

[Alitaba]

MUST-WIN
Alitaba must beat Soviet Canuckistan, or they will go immediately to Saugeais

So, this is the situation after Matchday 3: Alitaba beats Levivana 2 4-2 and goes to solo first with seven points in three games. Filopines rests, loses two positions to third with four points ion two matches. Soviet Canuckistan defeats Chiata 1-0 and goes into second with six points in two games. The catch? The two teams below Alitaba have a game in hand, and is at most three points behind them. So...

The match between Alitaba and Soviet Canuckistan will determine whether Alitaba will have a chance to continue its journey to the quarterfinals in Maklohi Vai, or pack their things and get a charter flight - straight to Saugeais. Remember that this is the A team of Alitaba so winning in MD4 should sacrifice team quality in the Copa Rushmori.

Meanwhile at the training, more and more Dyastin Biber music are played to deal with the crowd noise at Tamolaki. It seemed that their pass completion is shooting up to around 85 percent, which may help them beat the Soviet Canuckistan tomorrow. Let's see if Alitaba can beat the top seed team or will now prepare for the Copa Rushmori.

[Maklohi Vai]

Matchday 4 Cutoff

[Maklohi Vai]

Group 1
Texacano 0-3 Gaveo
Polkopia 1-1 New Lonopolian Empire

Group 1 Standings

   Team                         P  W D  L For Ag +/- Pts
 1 Gaveo                        3  3 0  0  10  2  +8  9
 2 Polkopia                     3  2 1  0  11  5  +6  7
 3 Texacano                     4  2 0  2   7 11  -4  6
 4 New Lonopolian Empire        3  0 1  2   3  8  -5  1
 5 United Republic of Indiana   3  0 0  3   2  7  -5  0

Group 2
Kalusia 0-2 Paradystopia
The Royal Kingdom of Quebec 1-1 Cassadaigua

Group 2 Standings

   Team                          P  W D  L For Ag +/- Pts
 1 Paradystopia                  3  2 1  0  7   2  +5  7
 2 The Royal Kingdom of Quebec   3  2 1  0  4   1  +3  7
 3 Kalusia                       4  1 1  2  2   4  -2  4
 4 Cassadaigua                   3  0 2  1  3   4  -1  2
 5 Windport                      3  0 1  2  1   6  -5  1

Group 3
Levivania 0-4 Hujukialand
Camerania 2-1 The united kingdoms of zackalantis

Group 3 Standings

   Team                                 P  W D  L For Ag +/- Pts
 1 Hujukialand                          3  3 0  0  8   1  +7  9
 2 Camerania                            3  1 2  0  3   2  +1  5
 3 The united kingdoms of zackalantis   3  1 0  2  5   5  +0  3
 4 Levivania                            4  0 2  2  4  10  -6  2
 5 Myrtle Isles                         3  0 2  1  2   4  -2  2

Group 4
Faikliren 1-2 Boring Paradise
Rovegia 2-0 Utilitas

Group 4 Standings

   Team             P  W D  L For Ag +/- Pts
 1 Boring Paradise  3  2 1  0  6   1  +5  7
 2 Rovegia          3  2 1  0  4   0  +4  7
 3 Faikliren        4  1 2  1  4   3  +1  5
 4 Northton         3  0 2  1  1   3  -2  2
 5 Utilitas         3  0 0  3  0   8  -8  0

Group 5
Alitaba 2-1 Soviet Canuckistan
Filopines 1-0 Chiata

Group 5 Standings

   Team                P  W D  L For Ag +/- Pts
 1 Alitaba             4  3 1  0  7   3  +4  10
 2 Filopines           3  2 1  0  3   1  +2  7
 3 Soviet Canuckistan  3  2 0  1  3   2  +1  6
 4 Chiata              3  0 0  3  0   3  -3  0
 5 Levivania 2         3  0 0  3  3   7  -4  0

Group 6
Ukrainya 0-2 Kintratar
The Sova Empire 0-0 Ainin

Group 6 Standings

   Team              P  W D  L For Ag +/- Pts
 1 Kintratar         3  3 0  0 10   0 +10  9
 2 The Sova Empire   3  2 1  0  5   0  +5  7
 3 Ainin             3  1 1  1  2   2  +0  4
 4 Ukrainya          4  1 0  3  1   6  -5  3
 5 Savski Venac      3  0 0  3  0  10 -10  0

Group 7
Beaverriver 1-3 Max empire
Darmen 3-0 Super-Llamaland

Group 7 Standings

   Team              P  W D  L For Ag +/- Pts
 1 Darmen            3  3 0  0 11   3  +8  9
 2 Max empire        3  3 0  0  8   2  +6  9
 3 Beaverriver       4  1 1  2  6   7  -1  4
 4 Super-Llamaland   3  0 1  2  2   6  -5  1
 5 Darrenovia        3  0 0  3  3  12  -9  0

Group 8
Yugiohistan 0-2 Maklohi Vai
Lymantatia 1-1 Pikkewyn

Group 8 Standings

   Team           P  W D  L For Ag +/- Pts
 1 Maklohi Vai    3  3 0  0  7   0  +7  9
 2 Lymantatia     3  2 1  0  4   1  +3  7
 3 Sicoutimont    3  1 0  2  2   4  -2  3
 4 Yugiohistan    4  1 0  3  4   6  -2  3
 5 Pikkewyn       3  0 1  2  1   8  -7  1

Reason for edit: Putting tables in.

[Polkopia]

---

Polkopian National News brought to you by Mr. Boris Valafeev

Original Translation

---

Polkopia Brings Disappointing 1-1 Draw With New Lonopolian Empire

In the fourth match day, the Polkopian National Football Team faced off against the New Lonopolian Empire. Betting odds reported a strong advantage in Polkopia's favor, and Polkopian fans everywhere were expecting a Polkopian win. Disappointment replaced their hopefulness, as the teams finished in a 1-1 draw, resulting in Polkopia dropping to second place in their group after Gaveo's win against Texacano.

Immanuil Serevo's foul against New
Lonopolian Empire, earning him a red card

The first half was relatively uneventful, as neither side was able to score, ending the half in a 0-0 draw. The Polkopian striker, Immanuil Serevo, however, was yellow-carded early on in the game, and Coach Stenin decided to substitute him out, as a red card would cause him to be absent against the next game against Gaveo. Artur Yeminov came on in the pitch to replace Serevo, and missed several goal opportunities which would've placed Polkopia in the lead at the end of the half.

In the second half, it was the team from The New Lonopolian Empire who scored first, putting a mark on the scoreboard at the 64th minute. Soon after, Rostislav Kantrisov was able to score, due to an assist from Aleksandr Krenkov. Soon after this, Polkopia narrowly missed a free kick, where the ball hit the crossbar and bounced out of play. The game ended with a 1-1 draw, disappointing the Polkopian team and Polkopian fans everywhere.

"You know, we didn't really have any movement going out there." Said Polkopian midfielder Vyacheslav Gorodiva. "We were playing sloppy, and it showed. Hopefully we can pull through and beat Gaveo tomorrow. It's the only way we can advance now." When asked about the same situation that Polkopia was in, forward Immanuil Serevo said, "It sucks, if it had been 1-0, a draw [with Gaveo] would've meant that Polkopia advances. Now, we have to win. It'll be tough, but I have faith in us."

Coach Spartak Stenin expressed his disappointment with the team, but refrained from harsh comments, as it was clear that the team was already upset with themselves. He highlighted important moments that, had they been done differently, would've changed the score in Polkopia's favor. Stenin made it clear that he wanted no mistakes in the game against Gaveo. He will keep in his starting lineup against Gaveo, despite Serevo already acquiring a yellow card last game.

---

Leave A Comment Below

Pornhub_Michelle: Some of those players might want to consider joining our team?


DaniDays: Well its a bit sad that we lost but we can still win!


Futb0l101: I like how we have our starting lineup against Gaveo. We can't put Yeminov in there, though. He sucks. We can't afford for him to bring down a good team. He hurt our team today, and the last thing we need is for him to ruin our chances against Gaveo.


Martov339: Lol Polkopia sucks. Anyone else > Serevo


A_Stadhouder (In Reply to Martov339): Obviously not Texacano or United Republic of Indiana. Stop trolling.


Marksman727Dave (In Reply to Futb0l101): He's not bad when he plays for Restnov, but he just isn't any good wheb he plays for Polkopia. I don't think he fits in well with the team here. He doesn't suck though.


Waquan04: sucks that were 2nd. we can still win though, right?

[Paradystopia]

"So we need to beat or at least draw with the Quebecies ..."
"I think it's Quebecois."
"Whatever ... I couldn't care less if it was 'Quebecish'. We need to beat them ideally."
"True"
"Why are they called the Executioners anyway? Also, why don't we have a nickname?"
"No idea and ... err ... No idea ... "
"Fat lot of good you are ... "
"I just don't know man ... and besides what would you suggest as a moniker for the Paradystopi team?"
"There's load of options ... something fierce, scary or ..."
"You should bear in mind that our home kit is mainly pink ... "
"Oh yeah ... What's pink and scary?"
"Judging by your relationship history, your dick."
"Harhar ... hilarious ... "
"I thought so, but in truth I don't actually think there is anything pink and scary."
"There must be something ..."
"Hmmm ... Sphinx Cats? They're pretty freaky."
"Hardly scary, just grotesque."
"Yeah, 'spose."
"What about 'The Murderous Pigs'?"
"Seriously?"
"Better idea than Sphinx Cats."
"What about 'The Killer Blanchmanges'?"
"Maybe ... 's a bit weird."
"I was joking ... "
"Oh ... "
"... dumbass ..."
"Alaskan Bull Worms?"
"What?"
"Aren't they big, scary and pink?"
"I haven't a damn clue what you're talking about ..."

[Alitaba]

DILEMMA
Alitaba shocks Soviet Canuckistan, waits for progress

It was an unexpected win for the Manggugubat. Against the top seed of the group, Soviet Canuckistan, Alitaba stood no chance of winning the match. But a fortunate twist of fate saw the Manggugubat claim all three points and will likely advance to the quarterfinals if Filopines fail to win against the Soviet Canuckistan.

However, the dilemma is that this Alitaban team was supposed to be entering the Copa Rushmori. However, with the Manggugubat potentially advancing the group stages, The KPA might soon decide to pull out seven players from the current team to be the players for the Copa Rushmori. These players are Donaldo Hinagpis, Antonio Dimacuha, Serafino Dimaala and Renato Abad Santos, leaving the team with three substitutes.

Meanwhile, the team will be in the Tamolaki City Field to watch the Filopines-Soviet Canuckistan match. A Filopines win by three goals or a two goal win with Filipines scoring four goals or more will send the Manggugubat packing.

[Maklohi Vai]

Matchday 5 Cutoff

[Maklohi Vai]

Group 1
Gaveo 1-0 Polkopia
New Lonopolian Empire 2-0 United Republic of Indiana

Group 1 Standings

   Team                         P  W D  L For Ag +/- Pts
 1 Gaveo                        4  4 0  0  11  2  +9 12
 2 Polkopia                     4  2 1  1  11  6  +5  7
 3 Texacano                     4  2 0  2   7 11  -4  6
 4 New Lonopolian Empire        4  1 1  2   5  8  -3  4
 5 United Republic of Indiana   4  0 0  4   2  9  -7  0

Group 2
Paradystopia 2-1 The Royal Kingdom of Quebec
Cassadaigua 1-1 Windport

Group 2 Standings

   Team                          P  W D  L For Ag +/- Pts
 1 Paradystopia                  4  3 1  0  9   3  +6 10
 2 The Royal Kingdom of Quebec   4  2 1  1  5   3  +2  7
 3 Kalusia                       4  1 1  2  2   4  -2  4
 4 Cassadaigua                   4  0 3  1  4   5  -1  3
 5 Windport                      4  0 2  2  2   7  -5  2

Group 3
Hujukialand 3-1 Camerania
The united kingdoms of zackalantis 1-1 Myrtle Isles

Group 3 Standings

   Team                                 P  W D  L For Ag +/- Pts
 1 Hujukialand                          4  4 0  0 11   2  +9 12
 2 Camerania                            4  1 2  1  4   5  -1  5
 3 The united kingdoms of zackalantis   4  1 1  2  6   6  +0  4
 4 Myrtle Isles                         4  0 3  1  3   5  -2  3
 5 Levivania                            4  0 2  2  4  10  -6  2

Group 4
Boring Paradise 1-1 Rovegia
Utilitas 3-0 Northton

Group 4 Standings

   Team             P  W D  L For Ag +/- Pts
 1 Boring Paradise  4  2 2  0  7   2  +5  8
 2 Rovegia          4  2 2  0  5   1  +4  8
 3 Faikliren        4  1 2  1  4   3  +1  5
 5 Utilitas         4  1 0  3  3   8  -5  3
 4 Northton         4  0 2  2  1   6  -5  2
Boring Paradise advances on Goal Difference

Group 5
Soviet Canuckistan 0-1 Filopines
Chiata 1-0 Levivania 2

Group 5 Standings

   Team                P  W D  L For Ag +/- Pts
 1 Alitaba             4  3 1  0  7   3  +4 10
 2 Filopines           4  3 1  0  4   1  +3 10
 3 Soviet Canuckistan  4  2 0  2  3   3  +0  6
 4 Chiata              4  1 0  3  1   3  -2  3
 5 Levivania 2         4  0 0  4  3   8  -5  0
Alitaba advances on Goal Difference

Group 6
Kintratar 3-0 The Sova Empire
Ainin 3-3 Savski Venac

Group 6 Standings

   Team              P  W D  L For Ag +/- Pts
 1 Kintratar         4  4 0  0 13   0 +13 12
 2 The Sova Empire   4  2 1  1  5   3  +2  7
 3 Ainin             4  1 2  1  5   5  +0  5
 4 Ukrainya          4  1 0  3  1   6  -5  3
 5 Savski Venac      4  0 1  3  3  13 -10  1

Group 7
Max empire 0-3 Darmen
Super-Llamaland 1-1 Darrenovia

Group 7 Standings

   Team              P  W D  L For Ag +/- Pts
 1 Darmen            4  4 0  0 14   3 +11 12
 2 Max empire        4  3 0  1  8   5  +3  9
 3 Beaverriver       4  1 1  2  6   7  -1  4
 4 Super-Llamaland   4  0 2  2  3   7  -4  2
 5 Darrenovia        4  0 1  3  4  13  -9  1

Group 8
Maklohi Vai 2-0 Lymantatia
Pikkewyn 1-1 Sicoutimont

Group 8 Standings

   Team           P  W D  L For Ag +/- Pts
 1 Maklohi Vai    4  4 0  0  9   0  +9 12
 2 Lymantatia     4  2 1  1  4   3  +1  7
 3 Sicoutimont    4  1 1  2  3   5  -2  4
 4 Yugiohistan    4  1 0  3  4   6  -2  3
 5 Pikkewyn       4  0 2  2  2   9  -7  2

Reason for edit: Putting tables in.

[Maklohi Vai]

Playoff Seedings
1. Kintratar
2. Darmen
3. Gaveo
4. Hujukialand
5. Maklohi Vai
6. Paradystopia
7. Alitaba
8. Boring Paradise

Notes:
-Kintratar over Darmen based on GD
-Darmen over Gaveo based on GD
-Gaveo over Hujukialand based on coin flip
-Hujukialand ahead of Maklohi Vai based on goals scored
-Paradystopia over Alitaba based on GD

---

Playoff Bracket/Alignment
QF 1: Kintratar v. Boring Paradise
QF 2: Hujukialand v. Maklohi Vai

QF 3: Gaveo v. Paradystopia
QF 4: Darmen v. Alitaba

SF 1: Winner of QF 1 v. Winner of QF 2
SF 2: Winner of QF 3 v. Winner of QF 4

3rd Place: Loser of SF 1 v. Loser of SF 2

Final: Winner of SF 1 v. Winner of SF 2

[Kintratar]

Mabren Sports
Sports, at your service
Written by Drake Calopani

Well like usual, Kintratar has won their group, therefore earning a spot in the playoffs. As Runners-Up of Friendly Cups 6 and 7 and Quarterfinalists of 8 and 5, they might finally win something. They've never won anything, not even a gold medal. After going 4-0 with 13-0 in Goal Difference, they're in their most dominant Cup yet! They're also 1st in the seedings which is always good.

The scores from the matchdays: 0-6, 2-0, 0-2, and 3-0. Not bad, Not bad at all. David Stefansson has been tremendous so far, not allowing a goal from any PK's and Corner Kicks. They'll play Boring Paradise, who won two and drew two. BP is sixth in the rankings, after Kintratar (us) at fifth. So it will be interesting if we can pull this off. If we make it to the semi's our confidence will boost.

Remember to follow @FC9KIN for the latest updates. Also watch Kintratar Athletics Network for the game, which hopefully we will win.

[Maklohi Vai]

Walker Walks With Will
by Polako Kumarakolakopakani

KOLO LAHI, MAKLOHI VAI -- Ishmael Walker, new coach of the Maklohi Vai national team, is now officially a playoff worthy coach after leading the team to a 2-0 victory over Lymantatia and into the quarterfinals of Friendly Cup 9. The match was much more one sided than the score suggests, as the Vaians dominated the lackadaisical and frankly apathetic Lymantatian team with superior ball control. Maklohi Vai had the ball out of their defensive zone 82% of the time and controlled 68% of the time. Tumo Makanopalani scored both goals, bringing his total to 7 for the tournament, higher than any other player.

For the playoffs, the Vaian team will be seeded fifth, the last place of the five undefeated teams from group play. This is due to their low GD and amount of scored goals compared to the other teams. Hujukialand will be the first round opponent. They cruised through their group undefeated and completely dominating, and will be a challenge for the Vaian team. Controlling the advanced and aggressive offensive tactics has to be first priority, as Hujukialand's style can only be countered by the strongest defensive presence.

The game will be played in Kolo Lahi at the Vaian National Pitch, meaning the team won't have to move from their group stage location, which was also held in Kolo Lahi. The teams will look to play up a variety of strategic advantages, namely the crowd noise generated by the stadium's design and the grandeur of the stadium.

For the Wakita Inquirer,
Polako Kumarakolakopakani

[Texacano]

Redacted--too soon

[New Lonopolian Empire]

Today, due to the top 64 finish in the Aslan Cup, Zsoni'i Zsohnsson is asking fro increased spending on sports leagues in the NLE. He stated, "Yes, you might know I'm the President of the Nyucassle Foundation, but our teams need more funding. That is how they grow to join the national team! Either these tournaments are corrupted by rich countries paying refs and 'TDs' to make them have an extra chance at winning. However, the government is barely running, so let's get help from the international community to raise many weak teams to glory, including ours! Also, we should create new tournaments! But none of this could be done without your support! If you're interested in creating an international Assoc. football league, or a tornament, send me a telegram through the NLE telegrams, and they will foward it to me. Thank you for coming to hear my speech, and Good Night.

The above is the opinion of Zsoni'i Zsohnsson, not the New Lonopolian Empire. However, you can still telegram him if interested - the Muuskatchen Leader (Who is the one who monitors Lonopolian media, and is 2nd in command.)

[Paradystopia]

"Gaveo, Gaveo ... what do we know about Gaveo?"
"They're good?"
"Well, yes, but I was thinking more along the lines of how should we go about beating these guys."
"Pray?"
"Come on, surely we're not that outclassed ... We're forty or so places above them in the world rankings."
"Yeah, but that's all academic. On paper, we're a better team than Maklohi Vai, but I wouldn't want to face them until we truly have to. Besides, this isn't the World Cup ... This is the Friendly Cup and Gaveo are the second highest ranked squad."
"How does that work?"
"Psychological, I think. Gaveo have more experience in this competition than us."
"But it's still football, right?"
"Yes ... but, well ... err ... look, each tournament is different and each club approaches each tournament with a different mindset. In the World Cup, we just hope to make it beyond the qualifying. In the Friendly Cup, we expect to get a lot further. That confidence can really help a team ... "
"Bullshit."
"Why bullshit?"
"We play football. Just football. Are you seriously telling me that if the Wightlings showed up in the Friendly Cup, we'd probably thrash them just because we're more experienced in the Friendly Cup?"
"Yeah, sort of ..."
"My point stands; Bullshit."
"It's not, I'm telling you and besides, we don't need to worry about the Vegans, the Wightlings, the Audioslavians or the Polarish ... the Polish ... the ... the team from Polar Islandstates ... just Gaveo for the moment."
"But we're better than them?"
"Not in the Friendly Cup."
"Do you realise how stupid that sounds?"
"I don't care. It's fact. Accept it."
"Pfft. Why don't you just make a computer program with random numbers and skip actually playing the matches altogether. Or better still, dice!"
"Now look who's sounding stupid."
"Meh, they probably do it somewhere."
"What? Simulate football matches with dice?"
"Probably ... "
"I actually wouldn't mind being a professional sports person who uses dice. Less strenous, less injury risk. Yeah, cushy ... "

[Texacano]

For real this time:

Maklohi Vai 2-0 Hujukialand

[Maklohi Vai]

Quarterfinals Cutoff. Scores imminent.

[Maklohi Vai]

QF 1: Kintratar 4-3 Boring Paradise
QF 2: Maklohi Vai 2-0 Hujukialand (scorinated by Texacano)

QF 3: Gaveo 1-2 Paradystopia
QF 4: Darmen 2-1 Alitaba

---

Semifinal Pairings:

SF 1: Kintratar vs. Maklohi Vai
SF 2: Darmen vs. Paradystopia