Handball World Cup 10 - Everything Thread

[The commonwealth of Lacedius]

The Lacedian roster

#71 GK: Steven Piper
#4 LB: Martin Hancock
#41 CB: Kenneth Asher
#6 RB: Samuel Bindler
#18LW: Adam Friedman
#11 C: Ulysses Byron
#9 RW: Connor Lloyd

Backups
#22:Sean Stuart
#6:Zachary Sullivan
#2:Simeon Robinson
#31:Thomas Ford
#16:Desmond Walsh
#55:Eamon Parker
#47:James Bradford

[Northern Sunrise Islands]

Hello, the nation of Born would like to sign up for this cup

Not only it is too late, you posted it in the wrong thread.

[Ancharmunn]

Ancharmunn national handball team

GK - Joseph Brennan – 27 – Ballyfeeaknock Capitals
GK - Frankie Flanigan – 26 – Sayercooan Sasanachs
RB – Leanna Kennedy – 27 – Sayercooan Sasanachs
RB – Tiernan Moore – 29 – Ballyfeeaknock Capitals
CB – Dervla Campbell – 30 – Ballyfeeaknock Capitals
CB – Finbar King – 31 – Sayercooan Sasanachs
LB – Seamus Fahy – 23 - Mullendroghed Mustangs
LB – Kyra Ross – 29 – Ballymairead Cobalt Bullets
RW – Jarlath Quinn – 25 – Rushmore Dobharchú
RW – Fearghus Ó hAodha – 28 – Oileánaigh an Iarthair
PV – Isla-Marie McLoughlin – 19 – Oileánaigh an Iarthair
PV – James McKay – 22 – Feeaknock County
LW – Emlyn Griffith – 23 – Porthmageed Celtic
LW – Sive McEvoy – 20 – Ballyfeeaknock Capitals

Head coach – Neil Kenny – 50
Assistant – Dáire Ó Loinsigh – 40

With the Tynealan calendar having ticked over nine times since the last Handball World Cup the Charmunnry squad sees a mass of change from the home held tournament. Just three players, Tiernan Moore, Finbar King and Fearghus Ó hAodha remain from the last World Cup, whilst Dervla Campbell was part of Ancharmunn's women's squad at the Rushmori Games. The biggest absentee is on paper that of Maelíosa Nic Rhaith. The former multi-sport star made an abortive attempt at a handball comeback with the new Oileánaigh an Iarthair side but ended up being outshone over the course of the season by Isla-Marie McLoughlin, Ancharmunn's new sporting wonder woman of the age.

Kits meanwhile are provided by Trinity Kits, and are made of a far superior material to the cheap tat used by Polarian budget brand ØKS.



Permissions – Feel free to do what you'd be willing to have reciprocated.

[Gulf Empire]

By the ABC NEWS
News has just gotten out about the Handball World Cup X and that the first rounds are about to be held in a few days. The American Patriots of the Gulf Empire have been set to compete in Group A against the Northern Sunrise Islands, Dainer, the Commonwealth of Lacedius, and Mapletish. The matches for Group A are going to be held in Mardi, the glorious capital city of the Sunrise Islands. The games will be held inside the E1 Arena. If you want to go, please contact the Gulf Department of State. We are lifting foreign travel bans now for nations like the Northern Sunrise Islands so you can go and watch the games. Despite television, it is nice to go there is person as some your dollars will go to tourism for Northern Sunrise Islands, they deserve all the money we can give for generously hosting the Handball World Cup X. Good luck to our players and let us hope they win and make is proud. If not, who knows what the Chancellor will do to the players of the American Patriots.

[Northern Sunrise Islands]

NORTHERN SUNRISE ISLANDS HANDBALL WORLD CUP 10
THE SEA BOYS

KITS

---

Well, tough to say that this guys are the ones that will represent Northern Sunrise Islands at the Handball World Cup. They don't even have a kit yet. It seems that Vulpine Sportif will only reveal it the day before the start of the tournament, where the opening will be celebrated at Mardi, before the first match of the tournament, Dainer vs. Mapletish, which is set to start at 2:00 PM, while the other first matches of each group will start at 4:00 PM and the other eight matches left will start at 9:00 PM.

Enough with that, let's focus on the team. OK, they are amateurish, since NSI doesn't have a domestic national league and they were picked with tryouts... But hey, they are our boys. Sea boys, if you may.

PLAYERS

GOALKEEPERS
#1 - Derrick RUSSO
#12 - Marty CLESSENBOROUGH

DEFENDERS
#2 - Yan BARREIRA
#3 - Miguel LA PAZ
#4 - Jerry DIAMOND
#13 - Yano NAGOYA
#14 - Frank LAPPA
#15 - Bret LEAP

WINGERS
#5 - Renan MACEDO
#6 - John WALT
#16 - Lucas CARVALHO
#17 - Uchihiro HITAI

CENTERS
#10 - Parker LEWIS JR.
#11 - Kyle STELLAR

COACH
Sujuri Masafuta, a man raised by a Psychic Pokemon that we still have to find out what species it was, was picked to coach. Appearently, he has psychic skills, but nothing that the NSIHC has found about yet.

RP PERMISSIONS
Do not kill. Please.

[Saintland]

Saintland National Handball Team

Style Modifier (if applicable): +5
Captain: Petrus Suedius
Colors: Red and White
Demonym: Sanctii
Arena: Royal Square Garden
Arena Location: St. Petrus
Arena Capacity: 17,467

Roster

Starting Lineup

GK: #3 Lucius Sosius
LB: #16 Marcus Valgus
CB: #42 David Quintius
RB: #61 Alessandro Valgus
LW: #8 Paulus Volusenus
CR: #33 Petrus Suedius
RW: #10 Ioannes Calidius

Bench

GK: #77 Thomas Cominius
LB: #19 Matthaeus Attius
CB: #28 Lucas Avidius
RB: #9 Salomon Bruttius
LW: #88 Ioannes Cosconius
CR: #26 Lucas Pinarus
RW: #92 Stephanus Tadia

Notes

Saintland has a very rough style of play and very few fouls in our national league, so don't hesitate to card Sanctii players, especially if Saintland loses. Handball is roughly tied with rugby as the 6th most popular sport in Saintland, behind gridiron, soccer, baseball, basketball and ice hockey. Since handball is not extremely popular, the National Handball Team does not carry expectations anywhere near as high as the teams for the 5 major sports. This Handball World Cup is beating treated as a tune-up for the Olympics. The players on this team are not superstars, so they will rely heavily on team play. Paulus Volusenus is the son of Royal One anchor Abraham Volusenus. Lucas Avidius is the older brother of Antonius Avidius, a goalkeeper for the Saintland National Soccer Team. Alessandro and Marcus Valgus are brothers. The arena's capacity is nearly the entire population of St. Petrus and the total population of Saintland is between 500 and 600 thousand.

RP Permissions

I give my opponent permission to:
Choose my scorers: Y
Godmod scoring events: Y
Hand out yellow cards to my players Y
Hand out red cards to my players Y
Injure my players: N
Godmod injuries to my players: N
Godmod other events: Y

[Saintland]

Handball World Cup 10: Preview

(SP) The Kingdom of Saintland has entered the Handball World Cup. Although our Kingdom's future participation in international sports is currently in doubt, due to several recent incidents, we had already entered the Handball World Cup prior to the recent mass defections. The National Handball Team is already in the Northern Sunrise Islands, more specifically the city of Resistencia where they will be competing. "Originally, we had entered this World Cup as a pre-Olympic tuneup competition. However, it is now in serious doubt whether our Kingdom will participate in the Olympics at all or indeed in any international sports events after the conclusion of the ones that we have already signed up for. We still hope to do well, but we are unsure whether we will be able to perform at our best." - Petrus Suedius

This Handball World Cup is being held without the participation of any of the last 3 Handball World Cup champions. The Babbage Islands, Quintessence of Dust and Iona will not be competing. Esportiva's regional champions Cambirano are also not participating in this World Cup. This means that it is a wide-open tournament that is anybody's for the taking.

The entire tournament is being held in the Northern Sunrise Islands, where the 40 participating teams have been split into 8 groups of 5. Each group of 5 is competing in a different city. The Saintland National Team has been drawn into Group B. In Group B, the first match for the Sanctii will be against Andossa Se Mitrin Vega. Andossa Se Mitrin Vega went 3-2 in their group at the 9th Handball World Cup and would be knocked out in the Round of 16 by eventual runners-up Thatius. On the second matchday, our Kingdom's National Handball Team will face the New Greek Republic, a nation that has had little success in their limited participation in international sports. The 3rd Sanctii opponent is Polkopia, a nation that is also making their debut in handball. Our final opponent is Jeronma, a nation that is making their debut in international sports. It seems that this is a relatively easy group, filled with minnows of international sports.

Whether the National Handball Team will be able to compete at a high level in this Handball World Cup is in doubt. Regardless, it will not be broadcast live in the Kingdom. King Paulus XV recently decreed that all international sports events must now be broadcast on tape delay. It is currently unknown whether or not this will be permanent. The National Handball Team includes the son of Abraham Volusenus and the brother of Antonius Avidius, but there has been little promotion of this event, which will be broadcast in a delayed fashion on Royal Five. Unlike the Cup of Harmony, there is no travel ban in effect for the Handball World Cup, so there may be some Sanctii that choose to make the trip to the Northern Sunrise Islands in Esportiva to watch the Handball World Cup. Regardless, it will still be intriguing to see how the National Handball Team responds when the Handball World Cup starts.

[Ancharmunn]

Northern Athletic News

The Northern Athletic News is extremely excited to announce the signing of Killian McVitie to it's team of sporting experts and is extremely proud to produce his first foray back into the world of sports journalism. Here McVitie finds the latest on Ancharmunn's participation in the imminent Handball World Cup
Killian McVitie

Handball coach gets farfetch'd excuses ready

Handball is, let's be brutally honest, a small time sport. At this upcoming World Cup many of the players in the Handball World Cup will be amateurs, some will probably be utterly new or even unwillingly coerced into participating in the sport. Ancharmunn, with a squad of professionals based almost at some of the world's highest ranked handball clubs should be among the favourites to take the trophy home. In fact, a Polarian side who've yet to bother publically revealing their side as of yet aside, Ancharmunn surely have to be the nailed on favourites. No pressure for fifty year old coach Neil Kenny and his charges then.

Yet the excuses are already coming out. The Northern Sunrise Isles are famed for their unique wildlife. For those looking for safari style trips the multitude of Esportivan isles provide for a spectacular array of colourful and exotic wildlife. For what are presumably elite trained athletes they apparently pose a significant threat.

“Having been here a couple of days now” Kenny explained, “the most apparent characteristic of the Northern Sunrise Isles is just how aggressive the local wildlife is. In fact, just making my way here for this press conference I was nearly accosted by a ducklike thing that was leering at me in a threatening manner. Fortunately it didn't go any further than that, but I did feel as though my defence was weakened.”

“[Goalkeeper] Frankie [Flanigan] meanwhile thought he'd take a little stroll down by the river the other morning, even though the weather was rather foggy. However a swan like creature appeared on the bank and the fog around him cleared. He said he felt as though as ability to slip away was being diminished by the presence of this creature. Grassy areas particular seem bad, you can't go anywhere without a wild something or other appearing, I've taken to banning the players from approaching grassy areas out of fear that seemingly baby ducks are going to appear and spray water at them. Quite how a team can be expected to perform in such conditions I'm not sure.”

So there we have it, the world's best handball players are scared of waterfowl. Pansies.

[The Royal Kingdom of Quebec]

OOC: As I restarted the competition by opening the signup thread( and planning to continue it), I'm setting that Quebec currently hosts the headquarter of the organising committee of the HWC.

Handball World Cup 10: Preview(1)- The revival of WHF and HWC

Carnival, NSI- So, here comes the tenth Handball World Cup, after 8-years of hiatus between this and the last one in Ancharmunn. Lots of things happened since then, both good and bad, which I'll briefly mention it here.

Following the huge success of HWC9 in Ancharmunn 8 years ago, It was very much expected that the handball But the constant disputes from member nations and lack of proper organization in place(OOC: In RL, due to lack of interests for anyone to take over and start the next edition sooner), The World Handball Federation imploded. Since then, It was in dark times: Many players, who had the talent and heart to represent Quebec in the international level, were denied from playing in Quebecois national team, which went on a hiatus following the Federation's dissolve. Players were only able to enjoy the international stage in the form of annual Handball Champions League, but that was it. Nothing else.

Fortunately, thanks to our Emperor Jacques IX's hard work to revive the Federation, the World Handball Federation re-banded at 4th of June, 2017. To the delight of handball fans around the World, the very first thing that it did was to revive the Handball World Cup and get the nations of NS-Multiverse to join and unite with passion and love for handball.

And the rest is history, as Northern Sunrise Islands went on to be the host and us handball-loving Quebecois and other nationals will now be off to enjoy watching HWC- once again.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Handball World Cup 10(2)- The Coaching Staff

As you would've figured out already the coaching staff for the RKQ Thunder is shown to be very young, with 2 of them years away from graduating high school. This sudden change of coaching staff wondered many. So, I decided to write about the change behind it and the new coaches.

The Head Coach Gustav Lee-Bergen retired after 48 years of coaching in Quebec Handball League as a legend. He won 17 titles as the head coach of Kebekwa, Quebec Nationals, CSKA Quebec City and Bathurst HC. His memorable but hardly comprehensible quotes and strategies will be missed. Assistant Coaches Roszival-Park and Mathesjovic meanwhile declined the position as HC or AC because of personal reasons: The former decided to have a Summer vacation for the first time in 8 years while the latter wanted to spend time with his kids.

However, what they have as the replacement of those kids are just as good and talented in the art of coaching as the others.
Head Coach Glenn Hodgkins, despite his age, is already considered as one of greatest high school handball coaches in our history. He, during last 4 years as the coach of his middle school(Valliere Senior Public School) and high school team(Ankaville Secondary School), has already made a name for himself by coaching his teams to 2 national championships(1 at each school, with the latter being at his most recent season), 4 consecutive provincial championships and et cetera. Despite with his age, his leadership and coaching skills are as mature and expertised as a veteran coach of 4-5 decades have. Quebec Handball Federation, following this successful feat by the up-and-coming 16-year old, decided to take risks and hired him.

Assistant coaches Morin and Desjardins are of no exception. Mr. Stephane Morin, who got his first coaching job at UOttawa GeeGees after a career-ending injury in his very first match as a GeeGee, was just as successful. Shortly after his career switch to coach, he made some huge splashes, winning the WUA Conference title and made it to the national semifinals. Igor Desjardins, the youngest of the coaching staff, is very good coach too. While he doesn't have any stand-out coaching records, his mastery in tactics and player analysis made him an instant pick by the QHA Board of Governors.

Tomorrow, there will be a preview article about players. Enjoy!

[Thatius]

Thatius Roster

for the

Tenth Handball World Cup

Team Information
Coach: Branimir Matkević
Captain: Marko Dragunski (Foward)

Uniform:

Starters
GK- Mariusz Tkaczyk, #6
DEF- Danijel Avramenko, #10
DEF- Cédric Daenescu, #5
DEF- Jake Matthews-Hill, #7
FOR- Reed Nikčević, #20
FOR- Marko Dragunski, #13
FOR- Christian Haas, #6

Bench:
GK- Magnus Sefik, #22
DEF- Dominik Jansen, #14
DEF- Davor Duvnjak, #9
DEF- Garrett Nowakowski, #11
FOR- Jakob Karabatić, #4
FOR- Terry Hjatsnev, #19
FOR- James Stoops, #13

Schedule
(to be held in Amy City, Northern Sunrise Islands)
vs. Carasatoga
vs. New Riesus
vs. The Serbian Empire
BYE
Swibia

RP Information
Choose my goalscorers Y
Godmod scoring events N
RP injuries to my players Y
Godmod injuries to my players N
Hand out yellow cards to my players Y
Hand out red cards to my players N
Godmod other events N

[Dainer]

Dainer set off to start

Dainer does not participate often at the international sporting scene, usually gathering a national team only for special occasions. The occasion, in this case, being a Handball World Cup hosted by their BFF nation, Northern Sunrise Islands. While handball isn't remotely as popular in the country as, say, football or martial arts, it still has a loyal following and regular championships. Many of the biggest sporting franchises in Dainer, like Voley, Isper and University, have handball teams.

As it turns out, the "Longrunners" have been selected for the honor of hosting the inaugural game of the tournament, against the nation of Mapletish. As such, the team has been incensed with the desire to do well and make a good show for the supporters in Mardi. In the very least, the festive atmosphere around the white bus and the players' receptive attitude have already won some hearts, and green flags can be seen flying all over the capital. It helps that groups of Daineri-Sunrisians are coming from all over the country to watch the games as well.

The team has been getting along well quite nicely with the Pokémon too. They already adopted the Dragonite - a species common to both countries - as their mascot for the tournament. Many of the players already have plans to adopt their own as pets; Pharaz and Sinople have been seen around with a Raichu and Flareon, respectively, while Pardona looks for a Water-type.

[Northern Sunrise Islands]

This cut-off is sponsored by this message regarding the quality that we expected this tournament will have.

---

GROUP A
Dainer 29–28 Mapletish
The Commonwealth of Lacedius 24–26 The Gulf Empire

GROUP B
Jeronma 21–27 The New Greek Republic
Saintland 28–23 Andossa se Mitrin Vega

GROUP C
Royal Kingdom of Quebec 27–23 Slafstopia
The Sova Empire 28–24 Chrovan

GROUP D
Slembana 24–28 Equestrian States
Ancharmunn 23–28 Kriegiersien

GROUP E
Cyborg Holland 24–24 Torisakia
Levivania 27–27 The Jahistic Republic of Unolia

GROUP F
The Licentian Islands 31–28 Felix
Darmen 26–29 Nouvel Ecosse

GROUP G
Ukrainya 28–30 Sicoutimont
Lymantatia 22–29 Kingdom of Costa Luna

GROUP H
Carasatoga 23–29 Thatius
New Riesus 24–29 The Serbian Empire

[Kriegiersien]

Ancharmunn 23–28 Kriegiersien

Kriegiersien starts with a victory against Ancharmunn in Hartford, in a game between two "professional" sides.
In difference to the Olympics, where a team of Amateur will start, the All Star Team of the SHL (Sweets Handball League) got a free time for this event, presenting Kriegiersien. Rumours state, that much money was moved to make that time out of the league happen.

The game started friendly, with every player of Kriegiersien giving his opponent a candy. But the game got tougher and after a 10-10 at half-time the Kriegiersien team played with a more offensive defence and more throws from far outside. Furthermore Dean Hahn got more offensive, making bird noises after every goal he scored.
In the last two minutes a Powerplay helped to increase the score.

The team has now a free day before meeting the Equestrian states, maybe the decisive game for place two. "The Lightning" is a mixed squad of individuals, nearly as obscure as the fauna outside of the city of Hartford and on at least the same level.
That should be an interesting match and we look with a thrill of anticipation on to it.

[Polar Islandstates]

Polarian handball returns to the world scene as one of the biggest names in international club handball, with teams the length and breadth of the Federation that are quite rightly feared by the foreign community. Despite this, and one Olympic silver medal aside, there is a distinct feeling in the air that the national team has always underachieved somewhat. With a lack of league in Cotdelapoms however, the players that used to sit out there have returned home, and so now an entirely domestically based side of young men will set out to go and get themselves some silverware...

TEAM
GK: Joakim Reinertsen - 31 - GKGK
CB: Filip Sokolovskyi - 22 - HGK Kungsdocks
LB: Dmitry Kubitsky - 23 - Fynersturen Island
RB: Matteus Nygard - 25 - Jaadlands HC
LW: Pol Martinek - 30 - IHK Torshavn
RW: Henrik Gronlund - 27 - GKGK
PV: Vojta Zjukovski - 24 - GKGK

SUBS
GK: Adam Heikkila-Laakso - 30 - HGK Kungsdocks
CB: Ruben Kivivuori - 28 - Jaadlands HC
LB: Alexandre Svahnstrom - 27 - HGK Kungsdocks
RB: Maciej Wilhelmsen - 26 - IHK Torshavn
LW: Piotr Hemingway - 24 - GKGK
RW: Olivier Hedner - 30 - HGK Kungsdocks
PV: Amadeus Strand - 26 - US Jaadlands HC

COACHES
Head: Jurgen Dahlby - 44
Assistant: Vasily Sigmundsson - 57

HOME - AWAY

Polarian handball is fast and furious. The attack is devastating with the quick first break, though easy to turnover on second or third phase attacks, and the defence is incredibly strong, which is just as well as goalkeeping is not a Polarian speciality...

Yes to all permissions, and yes to all yellow/red card issues, except to Vojta Zjukowski, keep him clean of two minute suspensions please.

[Sangti]

The prisoners who were selected to represent Sangti at the Handball World Cup arrived at Watanabe in Northern Sunrise Islands. The Defense Ministry of Sangti paid the expenses for the flight which took two hours from Sangti. Maximum security was enforced--from the Nuevo Bilibid, they were escorted by armored cars from Zalesgon to Ciudad Sangti, where the airplane awaits them. It was a military airplane and the prisoners were handcuffed as usual. Anyone who escapes or tries to escape is killed instantly. A microbomb is attached in their chests, near the heart, that will explode if they are 200 meters away from any security personnel.

When they arrived at Watanabe, another armored car brought them to a cottage rented exclusively for the Sangtian National team. Anyone who trespasses is interrogated, robbed off their properties and clothes, or killed on the spot, depending on the mood of the guards. There are 14 rooms on the basement, where each of the players will stay, 1 per room. It was like the bartolina, the cell with the maximum security in prisons. When they arrived, they ate dinner at the table on the first floor, where the coaching staff and the guards not on duty are resting.

After their dinner, they watched the game of Ukrainya on TV. The nation performed well, but came up short against Sicoutimont, The score was 30-28. Then coach Bryan told the boys Ukrainya's weaknesses and how to deal with their fortes. Bryan said that they must use their intimidation and reputation that led them to a spot in the Nuevo Bilibid prison. Then he told the boys to rest.

---

Night 1
After the huddle, the mafia meeting started. These three men discussed who to kill. The sniper does not attend meetings. One of them said that he will visit no one, since they knew the existence of a granny. Also, the gunsmith, blacksmith, fabricator and anarchist sent their items to their targets.The killer and doctor prepared who will they visit. And the cops started to investigate.

Come next day, Teodoro was seen with a band-aid on his shoulder. He was shot while asleep. Fortunately, the doctor saved him so he got the treatment (and the bandage). Also, Amer's vest was unusable anymore. He was also shot. Fortunately, he received a vest from the blacksmith. Teodoro and Denny received guns, one of them fake, and Mickhail had the microbomb that is capable of killing a single person. The message says:

The bomb will explode during Sangti's match with Ukrainya. Take your time to pass it. You can only pass it to your teammates. Passing it to anyone else shall make the microbomb in your body explode.

So no one is dead yet, no one is revealed yet as village or mafia sided, and at most one person will die during the Ukrainya match.

[Mapletish]

Sorry for the amazingly late Roster posting from me, here it is.

Team Mapletish for Handball World Cup X

Mapletish handball has not been really active in the international stage just as yet as the sport starts to pick up pace domestically. With its first entry to the World Club Handball Championships just last season, although Mapletish might not be a worrying name to the international community, it has however hosted an intentional handball tournament to its name, the El Mini De Handball Campeonatos. And in a recent meeting by the Mapletish Olympic Committee, it is believed that the Union would be sending a handball team over to the Olympics that will be held in Liventia this term. With an entry to the World Championships, the team hope to gain some important experience before going ahead and challenging bigger nations in handball.

KIT COLOURS

TEAM STARTING VII
Goalkeeper: Randolf Astor - 28
Defender: Eduardo José - 31
Defender: Helge Folke -27
Centre: Stefanus Aldert -26
Centre: Akio Takehiko - 24
Forward: Lee Yoon Hyun - 29
Forward: Olav Peer - 23

SUBS
Goalkeeper: Filippo Amadeo - 27
Defender: Walther Körbl - 24
Defender: Fred Roldão - 26
Centre: Guilherme Valter - 29
Centre: Folke Laurits - 27
Forward: Peter Branislav -23
Forward: Hákon Hrafn - 27

Maplish handball is fast on the break and really aggressive. With a more possession based game with attacks and defensive plays fast, mostly aiming at the mistakes by the opposition. Despite that the team's inconsistency has caused them a lot in their games.

RP Information
Choose my goalscorers Y
Godmod scoring events N
RP injuries to my players N
Godmod injuries to my players N
Hand out yellow cards to my players Y
Hand out red cards to my players N
Godmod other events N

[The Sova Empire]

My first sports blog

By Emily Evergreen.

So this is handball. Never heard of it before today. Apparently, Wolf 99 decided that I needed experience in journalism before writing about the World Cup. So they send me on a trip to Northern Sunrise Islands. Sounds good, might be able to catch some rays and sport my 5'11", 150 lb body. Maybe someone in NSI will appreciate it. Ugh.

Back to handball, though. Odd sport, seems to be a cross between basketball and soccer, or something like that. I never played it, nor watched it played. So the players dribble the ball and throw it into the net? Seems legit. Also, looks like it's 6-on-6, without counting the goalies. Lots of players. yaaaay.

The Sova Empire is taking on this team from Chrovan. Never heard of them. Not in baseball, basketball, football, soccer, chess, horse racing, anywhere. No roster either, so it's going to be a pain in the butt to keep track of them. Good grief, could Wolf 99 have picked a harder assignment for me?

I guess I'll talk about the other teams in the group. Slafstopia (another team I've never heard of) has at least bothered to post a roster, and we face them next. Then, Plascio? No, Palacasio? No, Palasco? No, Palascio. That's it. No roster from them either. Grr. Then, TSE will get their bums handed to them by The Royal Kingdom of Quebec. A very attacking team, with multiple coaches, and a reserve that's larger than their starting players. The Sovan Antithesis has played them in World Cup qualifiers. And then I'm done. Maybe my career will be too? Who knows.

I'll at least try to keep the audience (of probably 12 people) informed, so here is the staring roster for the Chrovan game.
GK: Janet Diaz
F: Howard Anderson
F: Kathryn Stewart
F: Earl Simmons
D: Gerald Powell
D: Louis Miller
D: Daniel Allen

At halftime, it's 15-13, and The Sova Empire is losing. No surprise. Even I know putting a skinny girl in goalie isn't the greatest idea. Earl has 7 goals so far, Howard has 5. Looks like the game is starting up again. Shall we see how badly we get beat?

Huh. We won, somehow. 28-24. Earl ended up with 10 goals, Howard had 9, but the big shocker was Kathy, heating up and scoring 9 goals in the 2nd half. Teamwork, guys! It works.

I'm going to end this here. Until the next match, I'll be sunbathing. And....scouting.

EE

[Kingdom of Costa Luna]

"Welcome to the Dem Bones Sports Show brought to you by H and B. I'm Ezekiel Bone.

Today, the Handball World Cup started. The H and B All National Handball Team faced off against Lymantatia in group play. Let's go to the highlights from earlier today.

Here in Watanbe at the Sapatos Airlines Center, the game is tied at 20 a piece with just about 3 minutes remaining. Toe Bone has the ball after a nice sprawling save. Toe Bone passes to Foot Bone, who quickly passes to Ankle Bone. Ankle Bone passes up the court to Leg Bone, who flips it to Knee Bone. Knee Bone dribbles up to the scoring area before passing to Thigh Bone. Thigh Bone looks to shoot, passes to Hip Bone, who shoots and scores.

H and B All up 28-22 over Lymantatia with 15 seconds to go. Costa Luna, with substitutes in, has the ball in the hand of backup goalkeeper, Back Bone. Back Bone connects to Shoulder Bone, who connects to Neck Bone with 7 seconds to go. Neck Bone dribbles up and connects on a brilliant pass to Head Bone. Head Bone shoots and scores as time expires in the game.

So, H and B All players are connecting nicely with each other and came away with the 29-22 victory. The Bones will be walking around the city of Watanbe, taking in the sites on their day off. Next up for Costa Luna is Sicoutimont, who beat Ukrainya in a thriller 30-28.

I'm Ezekiel Bone bidding a fond good evening."

[Darmen]

Darmeni National Handball Team

Head Coach: Bob Thompson (Brham 88)

GK:  Adam Borris       6'8"  Liverpool
DEF: Cedric Donaldson  6'5"  Liverpool
DEF: Erik Furman       6'3"  Liverpool
DEF: Greg Halverson    5'11" Brham 88
FOR: Ivan Jacobson     6'0"  Liverpool
FOR: Kevin Larvee      6'2"  Libertyton
FOR: Mike Narrowe      6'1"  Johnho HC

GK:  Owen Perry        6'6"  KE28 HC
DEF: Quinn Roberts     6'4"  Chuckio
DEF: Samuel Sedláček   5'8"  Tempala
FOR: Sammuel Tyree     6'3"  Liverpool
FOR: Luděk Lukska      6'2"  Brham 88

RP Permissions: Anything you want, just follow the Ten Comandments.

[Saintland]

After defeating Andossa Se Mitrin Vega by a score of 28 to 23 in their opening match of the Handball World Cup, Petrus Suedius addressed his team in the locker room.

Petrus Suedius - That was a good first victory in the Handball World Cup, but don't get satisfied just yet. We still have 3 more matches to go and only the top 2 in this group will advance to the Round of 16. We don't know if we will get another chance to compete for our Kingdom, so we need to give everything we've got and win this Handball World Cup. Tomorrow, we face the New Greek Republic. They defeated Jeronma today by a score of 27 to 21. Although our match is being broadcast on a delay back in the Kingdom, we still have early access to a private Sanctustube video of that match, so we need to watch it and look closely for weaknesses to exploit and tendencies to watch out for. Since they haven't even revealed their roster, this is especially important. Tomorrow, we face the other team that won today and we need to be the team that maintains our perfect record.

Ioannes Calidius - Petrus, we know we need to win tomorrow.

Paulus Volusenus - I just heard from my father. He just sent the Cup of Disharmony draw. It looks like the National Soccer Team is heading to Cassadaigua.

Lucas Avidius - Paulus, why do you have a prototype of the Saint? Antonius won't even let me use his.

Paulus Volusenus - I work for RCES. Everybody at RCES has a prototype.

Lucas Avidius - Then, why does your father have one too?

Paulus Volusenus - I requested it for him.

Petrus Suedius - How is the Real Handball Simulator coming along?

Paulus Volusenus - Its going to be a while before we can release that. RepublicSoft is too busy on other projects and we don't have the resources at RCES to do that project right.

Lucas Pinarus - Is RCES working on anything other than Sing-Along with Cantus Virginum?

Paulus Volusenus - Karaoke is Georgius Catiotus's personal project. You have to understand that his wife Martha is a huge Cantus Virginum fan. She probably likes their music more than even most schoolgirls.

Several handball players laughed.

Matthaeus Attius - Why exactly is Cantus Virginum popular in our Kingdom?

Petrus Suedius - I can't answer that. They are horrible singers.

Paulus Volusenus - Actually, I can answer that. I had the privilege to talk with the creator of Cantus Virginum. He told me about how he had researched extremely successful foreign musical acts, trying to figure out the secret of their success.

Stephanus Tadia - What was it?

David Quintius - We want to know.

Paulus Volusenus - I'm getting there. Anyway, he discovered something very interesting. It turned out that success in music is almost entirely driven by marketing, not talent.

Petrus Suedius - Marketing?

Paulus Volusenus - Yes, marketing. If you heavily promote a band as the greatest thing ever to the right audience, you will make them extremely successful.

Lucius Sosius - But, why did they make the decisions that they did?

Paulus Volusenus - I can answer that, Lucius. It turns out that girls tend to be the most receptive audience for music and that is especially true of girls that are in that transition period where they are still children, but have the body of an adult.

Petrus Suedius - If that's the case, why is Cantus Virginum pushing virtue instead of vice?

Paulus Volusenus - Petrus, you don't understand the way young ladies think, do you?

Petrus Suedius - No. Their actions have always been a mystery to me.

Paulus Volusenus - You have to understand that conformity is very important to them. In foreign nations, they are expected to rebel against authority during those years, engage in fornication and pretend to be male. They follow those norms, because they are the norms of their society. In such nations, the truly rebellious girls, the Feministvs Sanctvsterra and Vindicta Progressvm types, would either adopt extremely self-destructive behaviors such as mind-altering substance use or they would actually rebel against their society's wicked norms by choosing to be good.

Lucas Avidius - Really?

Paulus Volusenus - Its just human nature that only a small minority of young ladies will rebel against the norms of their society during those awkward transition years. There is nothing that the authorities can do to eliminate Feministvs Sanctvsterra, Vindicta Progressvm and other groups of that nature. Unless we completely shut out all foreign influences, we will continue to have a small minority of abnormal young ladies that choose to rebel against the norms of our society.

Petrus Suedius - So, do you think the King will actually decide to put us back into isolation?

Paulus Volusenus - Maybe, maybe not. If we went that route, it would eradicate most of the sin in our Kingdom, but we would be giving up our opportunity to save the rest of the multiverse from sin. However, getting back to the story, in our Kingdom things are different. The societal norms encourage young ladies to be good, so most young ladies desire to do the right thing. Therefore, a musical group marketed toward young ladies in our Kingdom needed to encourage virtue rather than vice.

Lucius Sosius - That's understandable, but why did they choose to go with so many singers and why are the singers so young?

Paulus Volusenus - For one thing, they had to go with female singers. A "boy band" encouraging girls to be good just wouldn't have sounded right and it would be inappropriate for married ladies to be part the group, as married ladies are supposed to be focused on their lives at home.

Petrus Suedius - That's one of the things that puzzles me about foreign nations. Why is it acceptable in those places for a mother to put her own selfish careerism ahead of her children?

Paulus Volusenus - Those are the cultural norms and those ladies are just conforming to the norms. That's why Sister Polus's videos are so poorly received in places such as Cassadaigua. She's encouraging women in those countries to rebel against the norms of their society and that simply goes against their nature.

Lucas Avidius - I see your point now.

Paulus Volusenus - Anyway, they decided that members of the group should come from the peers of their target audience. Since young ladies tend to be driven heavily by peer pressure to conform to society's expectations, a musical group composed of peers and targeted toward them would be very likely to become a success. They chose the name Cantus Virginum because the members of the group were singers and they would all be virgins, or at least that is supposed to be the case.

Petrus Suedius - But why did they choose not to make any special outfits for the group and just have them perform in their uniforms?

Paulus Volusenus - Actually, they considered some sort of special outfit, but they decided that they already had the ideal outfits for the group. Any special outfits would just set them apart too much from their peers and likely make them less successful.

Lucius Sosius - By any chance, are we also influenced to conform to societal norms?

Paulus Volusenus - That was actually a question I had as well. It turns out that boys and men are much more resistant to societal influences than girls and women are. Although the society we live in definitely influences our values, we lack the strong compulsion to conform that most ladies have. We are not really that different from foreign men, except in the area of values. However, the ladies of our Kingdom are drastically different from those that we would find in foreign lands, because of the nature of our society.

Alessandro Valgus - But, aren't foreign men and boys encouraged to fornicate at young ages?

Paulus Volusenus - Yes, they are, but you may be surprised to discover that only a minority of them actually have any success with the ladies whatsoever. In our Kingdom, we have to resist our desires for a number of years, but we are rewarded for doing so with a lifelong marriage to a wife who supports us. In foreign lands, they do get to fornicate at young ages, if they are lucky, but in many of those lands it is very easy for women to turn men into their de-facto slaves and even where that isn't permitted, divorce tends to be rampant. Most foreign marriages end, eventually, in a divorce.

Petrus Suedius - So, even if God didn't exist and even if God didn't will the arrangement between men and women in our Kingdom, it would still be the ideal arrangement?

Paulus Volusenus - Absolutely. The rejection of natural gender roles causes misery for both men and women. Those norms aren't just there because of the Church's opposition to promiscuity. Promiscuity harms everybody, so it must be outlawed for our own good.

Lucius Sosius - That's very interesting, but I think we may want to focus on handball.

Paulus Volusenus - You're right, Lucius. When we get back to the hotel, everybody should go in my hotel room. I'll put my Saint in Remote Broadcast and we can watch the New Greek Republic's victory over Jeronma together on the hotel room television.

Petrus Suedius - That sounds like a good idea, Paulus.

The Saintland National Handball Team went back to their hotel room, flanked by their Royal Army security force. They needed to be prepared for their upcoming match, which would be a critical one...

[The Royal Kingdom of Quebec]

OOC: This event occurred 4-5 days prior to MD1.

Handball Team into its pit of shame as players broke curfew, partied all night

8th of July,2017
Carnival, Northern Sunrise Islands- A huge scandal shook the Royal Kingdom of Québec's national handball team when most of players broke the curfew and partied entire night, skipping their team meeting and morning practice.

Most players, just as they unpacked their luggage in rooms, went on a party mode at the hotel lounge, drinking heavily and dancing through the night as if there were no tomorrow.
Coaching staff, surprisingly, was friendly to their partying and allowed them to do so. "Me and my assistants won't worry a lot about that because there's nothing wrong with having some fun and get used to the local environment. Let boys be boys and enjoy."-Glenn Hodgkins, Head Coach

Unfortunately, it didn't turn out as well as Mr.Hodgkins wanted it to be, as he was proven wrong the very next morning. Only 3 out of 16 players came to the breakfast and team meeting. The rest didn't arrive at restaurant until much later into the morning. By the time when the rest came to practice at the Stadium, morning practice was almost done.

It turned out to be that half the team eventually got laid with other tourist girls in the hotel, and didn't come back to their rooms at all. And most importantly, all 16 players broke their 23:00 curfew that night.

The news quickly spread across Québécois media, who reported this as soon as possible. By the noon, almost all of major newspapers and television stations got this in a huge headline, placing the handball team in a huge shame.

The coaches' reactions to this was brutal and negative.
"The players breached the curfew, they betrayed the trust of staff and countless of Québécois handball fans, "Assistant Coach Igor Désjardins commented, "this is unacceptable and they will be punished for that. "

By the end of the day, email was sent to the players. It was from the Jacques IX, Québec's Emperor(who is also the head of WHF and QHF), that the entire squad (excluding coaching staff) will be dismissed should another of this happens again.

[Gulf Empire]

This Script was taken from the ABC News

GULF EMPIRE WINS FIRST ROUND AGAINST LACEDIUS.
MARDI, NORTHERN SUNRISE ISLANDS. Yesterday in Mardi, the American Patriots won a very close victory against the team from the Commonwealth of Lacedius. By the first half of the game, the team was still partially warming up and were 8 points behind Lacedius. However, in the second half, Henry McCullough increased his furiousity in their goal charges and began to clobber Lacedius. By the end of the game, the American Patriots were winning 26 to 24. The American Patriots are very relieved that they have made it past the first round, knowing that the entire Gulf Empire would be disappointed of they lost the first round. However, their coach Kyle Lee Wilson, said they could much better than and that he is going to increase his men's training by double. After their win, the whole team went out to have a few drinks but their partying level was not as crazy as it was for the Royal Kingdom of Quebec's handball team. This is probably because these players know the penalty, for getting hungover and not coming in for practice the next day, is executed. The American Patriots are not the only Gulf imperialists in Northern Sunrise Islands as their is a small detatchment of military troops there in the city as well as a squad of secret police that keep the American Patriots under a 24 hour watch, to keep them safe from kidnappers and assassins and also to keep them safe from their own lusts or cravings. We will have more updates on the American Patriots. Until then, I am Jason Kelly reporting live from Mardi, Northern Sunrise Islands.

[The Jahistic Unified Republic]

---

SPORTS: Unolian Team goes Clutch, Ties with Levivania

GROUP E STANDINGS:
Cyborg Holland: 0-0-1
JR Unolia: 0-0-1
Torisakia: 0-0-1
Levivania: 0-0-1
FSC: 0-0-0

UZUMAKI, Northern Sunrise Islands The Jahistic National Handball Team is catching it's breath today after a near loss to Levivania. The game had two minutes left, when Aldrani Quila went around and scored two goals, bringing the game to an end 27-27. Many commentators blame poor defensive coordination on why the Unolians weren't able to gain the lead early on. At half time, Unolia was down 13-18, which is the further deficit seen by a Jahistic team on the international Handball stage.

Chairman Jarrod Thuman was sitting in the fifth row, accompanied by dignitaries of various nationalities, all there to enjoy the beautiful sport that is Handball. He commented that the Unolian-Levivanian Comeback was "the greatest handball comeback I've seen, even if it was just a tie." Unolian Head Coach Jack Beeley that the team "did not preform to my standards this time around. I feel confident that they can improve their game, and with a free day tomorrow (July 13th), I feel we can work out the kinks in our game." The next game the Unolian Team has is against Torisakia. Keep in mind you can watch all Unolian games on The Firebrand Sports Network, the other Group E Game (Free South Califas v. Levivania) on The Free Unolian Sports Channel (FUS), and select other games on Unolian Handball League TV.

The Jahistic National Team is currently tied for first as of the publishing of this article. All teams that have played a game in Group E tied in their games, curiously.

World Handball Cup Group Phase: GROUP E:
July 12th vs. Levivania: TIED (27-27); July 13th BYE; July 14th vs Torisakia TBD; July 15th vs. Free South Califas TBD; July 16th vs. Cyborg Holland TBD.

[The Serbian Empire]

The Serbian Empire wins 29-24 however there was a magazine called the Sporting News Srbijan Empire with a pair of female cyclists for Onyx Marenisko on the cover. Sheesh, this is how low handball is when Mia Garkovich and Mirela Blagojevic are on the cover of the Sporting News and Mirela's taking a break for the Olympics. "We're good, Alen" says a burly goaltender in Milorad Drazenovic. "Just not that good that we can displace that piece of eye candy that is Mia," Alen remarked. "Where's Nemanja?" A voice from the shower said that Nemanja was watching the replay of the Thatius-Carasatoga game. "Why would he be doing that when we can do our scouting tomorrow?" The voice in the shower said, "I swear Nemanja's trying to become the coach of this team."

[Felix]

Handball World Cup 10: A Tough Start.

By: Tyler Smith

So my first assignment as a sports reporter is to report on Felix's journey in the Handball World Cup 10 hosted by Northern Sunrise Islands, now I have a lot to live up to, my brother Steven Smith is a world famous reporter that is currently covering Felix in the World Cup in Football. So let's start this, yes? Okay so the first matchday happened and I missed the preview report and for that I apologize, but it's the weather that delayed my flights, but nonetheless I should have figured out another way to get to the HWC in NSI. So without further a due here is the roster for the HWC!

HWC 10 FELIXIAN HANDBALL TEAM
GK: Ezio Dinapoli {Age: 23} (Starter) [Capitan]
GK: Gorka Loyola {Age: 20} (Substitute)
RB: Teodoro Adimari {Age: 27} (Starter)
RB: Hayate Tsukino {Age: 18} (Substitute)
CB: Leocadio Loyola {Age: 34} (Starter)
CB: Kuro Moto {Age: 24} (Substitute)
LB: Hinata Tachibana {Age: 26} (Starter)
LB: Haru Ueda {Age: 21} (Substitute)
RW: Katashi Wakahisa {Age: 24} (Starter)
RW: Alejo Arthur {Age: 24} (Substitute)
CF: Haru Ueda {Age: 28} (Starter)
CF: Ole Fisker {Age: 19} (Substitute)
LW: Len Brook {Age: 30} (Starter)
LW: Ambrosio Del Olmo {Age: 20} (Substitute)
Coach: Toño Crespo {Age: 51}

So the 14 manned team lost to The Licentian Islands 31-28 in a tight and highly contested match with Len Brook and Haru Ueda taken most of the goals and it was a match that Felix really wanted to win, while the result did not end in the positive way for the Felixians coach, Toño Crespo, had said that Felix played very well considering the Felixian Handball Association gets little to no funds and has no professional leagues, the match gives hope that one day the government and the people of Felix will notice Felixian Handball. We will face up against Darmen which lost their last match against Nouvel Ecosse 26-29. So here we go! See you next week and good luck to Felix!