World Cup LXV (65) RP Thread

by **Licentiapacisterra** » Sat Jun 29, 2013 4:45 pm

Kevin Aitken: Hello, and welcome to LBC Sports. Today, we're analysing the World Cup campaign so far for the Cyan-and-Gold, and we have two of the most famed names in Licentian football. We have the former co-manager of the national team, and current Colesham Athletic manager, Luke Thompson.

Luke Thompson: Hello everybody.

KA: And we also have a former striker for Abingdon Celtic and the Licentian Islands, Jack Kerr.

Jack Kerr: Evening Kev.

KA: Welcome to the show, both of you. Now, there is only one place we can start isn't there ?? The fact that the Licentian Islands are topping the group, despite being the third ranked team in the group behind Jeru FC and Eura, is incredible.

JK: I have to say, I'm really enjoying watching the side this campaign. Joachim Schwartz has got them playing lovely football, even when they are defending. I personally expected the controversy surrounding Nate Parkinson to affect the side this campaign, but it really hasn't; he and the rest of the team have performed admirably in the face of media scrutiny surrounding the captaincy.

LT: I can't say I agree with you Jack. Nate is a mature character. That's why he was captain, of course. He may be a little wound up over it, but he won't let it bother him on the pitch. He's good friends with Logan, so it won't be too bad for the side.

KA: I'll side with Luke on this one. Schwartz is a fantastic coach, despite the doubts that many had two years ago when he was hired. He'll keep the lads in line, even if something gets in the way.

JK: I'll let you have that; I just thought that the furore would distract them a little. It looks like I was wrong though.

KA: You certainly were Jack, as they've only dropped four points in the first half of qualifying, in one one draws with Jeru FC and Eastfield Lodge. They've beaten the teams that they were expected to, and they've got great results against the bigger sides. We all know the best bit of qualifying though, don't we ??

LT: When we thrashed Eura, of course.

KA: Exactly Luke. Did the two of you watch it ??

JK: I was there Kev. I've not got much else to do in my retirement but travel, so I've been at all nine games so far.

KA: The atmosphere in Bastion must have been incredible.

JK: It was Kev. We were all really surprised that a team that's meant to be defensive scored five, especially against a team like Eura, who should probably have been comprehensively beaten by. Five different scorers for us as well; Keir even managed to get in on the action from the bench.

LT: I was surprised to hear that he'd been dropped. He has certainly secured the same spot he lost when Moran retires at the end of this cycle; he's been very good, almost a super sub.

JK: Maybe Joachim will keep him in that spot, just to secure the performance off the bench.

KA: I doubt it very much. It was disappointing to draw with the lower ranked Eastfield Lodge, I can't deny it.

LT: I disagree with you Kev, they are a talented team, who are unlucky not to have qualified for the finals in a while. It was an enjoyable game, even if the result wasn't what we would have hoped for.

KA: We've gone into the halfway point with an unbeaten record intact. Although our defensive style would make that fairly likely, I am nicely surprised.

JK: Agreed Kev.

KA: So let's move onto something that the both of you will be involved in come the end of the qualifying campaign. The first Licentian Hall of Fame spot will be given at the end of this cycle, and both of you are up for it. What do you think of your chances ??

JK: I don't think I'll get it, to be honest. There are much more deserving people on that list than me.

LT: I don't think I have a chance in hell to be frank.

KA: Who do you think will win it then ??

LT/JK (simultaneously): Alex Gardiner-Stewart.

KA: I guess that's a consensus then. Alex is the bookmaker's favourite at the minute, though his dad Nathan is fairly close behind.

LT: I think it could be either of them actually. Nathan is a legend of our nation's football, and he would deserve such an award.

KA: Right, thank you for that guys. I really enjoyed your opinions. After the break, we'll be discussing the World Lacrosse Championships. Stay tuned for that, or not; I get paid anyway !! See you in a little while.

by **Brenecia** » Sat Jun 29, 2013 4:55 pm

SCOOP OF THE DAY with MEREDITH FINCHE
Hey-hey, it's time for the time you've all been waiting for! Well, it's been two weeks since we were sunk by the States, but it's game night tomorrow, so I figure it's about time to make the mid-cycle round-up!

First off, though, our player of the day. Rachel Camry had a very brief, ten-year career; a late entrant to the professional game, injury forced her into retirement at 31, just three years ago. But in those ten years, she was a real firebrand, the perfect attacking midfielder for our XI. Not only was she a stunning player (think a more defensive, stronger Ash Twining less skilled at short passing), but she had a remarkable knack for debating the referee out of unfavourable decisions. Rachel had completed university before entering the game, specifically an English degree, and she used this to great effect convincing referees to reverse decisions she disagreed with. It actually worked, sometimes, which was something of a miracle. Pity she didn't stick around three more years, eh? Well, she's a referee herself, now, and well-respected at that. Nobody bothers trying to change her mind.

So, let's preview the reverse fixtures, shall we?

THE INEVITABLE SYNDICATE, Home
Tomorrow we face the opponent that destroyed us 3-0. Home advantage and more experience should weight things in our favour, but... I can only see us losing here, 1-0.

ISLANDS OF QUTAR, Away
While last time we snatched a draw by the skin of our teeth, losing home advantage could make things dicey. Still, I predict we'll scratch another point again, 1-1.

CARMADIN, Home
While they defeated us in the last match, there's no reason to believe we shouldn't be able to reverse it this time around. A slightly tense 2-0 win, I predict.

SUDAGIU, Away
Sudagiu outperformed us in the Baptism of Fire, but we're handily outdoing them here. They'll be in with a shout of a draw when they're at home, but as it stands I still see us coming away with the three points. 2-0, again.

FREE REPUBLICS, Home
Now, granted, last time we snatched the win from them, away... but I think they're going to manage a draw in the reverse fixture. They seem to be picking up a bit of steam, so... 1-1, I'd say.

OSARIUS, Home
We really shouldn't have any trouble putting them down. 3-0, to help pad our goal difference.

TANTAMIR, Away
Another easy fixture, and a probable 2-0 win.

BEARS ARMED, Home
We realistically don't stand much chance of victory. We can try to hold out for a draw, but I don't imagine it sticking... no, I see the final score as 3-2 against us.

EQUESTRIAN STATES, Away
Our last chance to find points, but it is, again, doubtful that we'll be able to take out the sub-humans. A painful 3-0 defeat to finish the campaign.

Well, I guess tomorrow we'll see about the first of my predictions. See you then!

by **Super-Llamaland** » Sat Jun 29, 2013 5:03 pm

Super-Llamaland wrote:Group 1
Super-Llamaland 4–2 Friday Freshman
Horusland 0–0 Leorudo
Kalusia 1–1 Armed Bears
The fief of Sir Kunne 0–1 Sargossa
Oralana 1–3 Taeshan

- Group 1 Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Taeshan 9 7 2 0 17 2 +15 23
2 Sargossa 9 7 0 2 12 7 +5 21
3 Super-Llamaland 9 5 1 3 23 17 +6 16
4 Kalusia 9 4 3 2 10 7 +3 15
5 Horusland 9 3 4 2 9 9 0 13
6 Armed Bears 9 3 3 3 19 17 +2 12
7 Leorudo 9 2 5 2 12 13 −1 11
8 Oralana 9 2 1 6 10 17 −7 7
9 The fief of Sir Kunne 9 2 1 6 7 15 −8 7
10 Friday Freshman 9 0 0 9 8 23 −15 0

Tyson DeJesus 86% Saves, 42 SOG-Six Goals [injured]
Nick DeJesus 85% Saves, 34 SOG-Five goals
Eric Matthews 40% Saves, 5 SOG-Three goals
Trevor Duncan SIXTEEN POINTS (six goals four assists)
Bobby Crosby TEN POINTS (five goals)
Jared Mullin TEN POINTS (three goals four assists)
Chris May TEN POINTS (three goals four assists)
John Oliver SIX POINTS (two goals, two assists)
Evan Powell FIVE POINTS (two goals, one assist)
Luis Alcanatra FIVE POINTS (one goal, three assists)
Johnny Rushmore THREE POINTS (one goal one assist)
Chris Chapman TWO POINTs (two assists)

"Well, well, what a first half that was."
"You're right, Chris, the Llamas are starting to trail hard, five points back of second. But hey, we'll take third!"
"Horusland's been unexpectedly good, Sargossa started out badly but recovered, and Taeshan still without a defeat."
"They [Sargossa/Taeshan] are just better, y'know Chris?"
"Sixteen points for the Llamas, not too shabby: three defeats, a draw and five wins!"
"Well, they're fifth in the group so this has to be a shock."
"And it is! Leorudo should do better and so should Armed Bears and Kalusia!"
"Yes, you're right!"
"And look at Bobby Crosby, with five goals!"
"Trevor Duncan leads in goals but Crosby's putting up a surprise tournament."
"Duncan's great as expected, but Tyson Richards out for the rest of the cup!"
"If we make it any further he might come back, but he's gone for "eight to ten days", they said."
"Well, he won't have too much of an impact. The Tigers picked Michael Kerraway to fill in for Richards."
"A good choice, Matthews is falling apart and DeJesus won't get you past the qualifier."
"Top two make it! We still got a chance!"

by **Felix** » Sat Jun 29, 2013 5:56 pm

World Cup LXV Qualifiers: A Draw Against Estope

By: Steven Smith

Another match, another draw that we did not need. This tie didn’t help us at all in the table as we moved down to fourth in the standings. This is rather frustrating, mainly because we had the draw against a team that did not announce their team roster and we know nothing about them. But I guess the draw was expected as Estope, a fellow Esportivian nation, was ranked higher than us. 2-2 was the scoreline and with that Felix finishes the first round of qualifying. Before we do a recap on today’s match, let’s go over the journey the Phoenix has gone through so far in qualifications.

The national team was heading home from a penalty loss against Aels and many wondered how Felix would cope after the loss and how they would handle their debut qualification run. Would Daniel Cardona lead Felix to glory like he did in the Baptism of Fire and how Aureliano Sanna lead the U-21 team to a fourth place finish? We would find out quickly as Felix won their first match against Alexanderburn at their house, 2-3. Felix continued to well as they headed off to win their next match but later lost to St Lucoa 2-1 at Estadio Nacional. But the men of the Felixian national team soon recovered from that loss and played excellent football. Jump forward to the loss against Qazox, a team Felix had control of but by mistake gave up a silly goal at the last second. But once again Felix bounced back, now we end the first round of qualifying in fourth place, a surprise for many people as they expected Felix to finish worse than that, now Felix will be heading back to Felix for the rematch against Alexanderburn, a win there could seriously help out the Phoenix and make them have a greater chance at qualification if things go our way. And as always here is a recap of today’s match against, Estope.

The first half was a bag of mixed results as Felix played rather well in the first 30 minutes but struggled near the end of the half conceding a goal to tie up the match. Felix scored first in the 9th minute from Simo Roni from an assisted pass from Ziya Saqqaf, giving Felix that 1-0 lead. But, as said earlier, Felix faltered from that earlier success with a handful of mistakes that resulted in a goal from the opposing, Estope side. The goal came in the 42nd minute from a nice cross from the striker and was headed into the net for the equalizing tie. Felix attempted to respond with a seemingly lightning fast assault but Yun Dong Lee missed his mark by hitting the post, soon after that the referee blew the halftime whistle.

The second half witnessed a better playing style from the Felixian side as play continued to get better for the Phoenix. But in a déjà vu kind of moment Estope scored a surprise goal out of nowhere and Estope had the lead in the 55th minute causing a slew of booing from the home crowd in Estadio Nacional. But the Felixians maintained their composure and eventually tied up the match with a attack that overwhelmed the Estope national team defense and Sebastian Krister scored from an assist that came from Lee that was a sight to see. The ball went over all the defenders and Krister simply used his chest and soon as the ball went to his leg level, he shot it hitting the right corner of the net preventing any attempt at blocking it by the goalkeeper from Estope, it was a golazo. Two to two and the match was even. The Felixians attempted to score more goals with attempts in the 60th, 61st, 68th, 72nd, and 75th minutes all from Lee that wanted to tie the amount of goals Mikel Araboa had. The game saw no more goals and the match ended a draw much to the disappointment to the Felixian fans that saw their team play much better than Estope side.

The postgame press conference echoed the thoughts of the fans as Mr. Cardona admitted, like the Qazox match, the boys should’ve won. He said this, “It’s a bit frustrating that your team clearly played way better than the opposing team only to draw and lose our third place position.” A question from rival newspaper, Los Tiempos de Félix, asked about the upcoming match against Alexanderburn and if Felix could win. Mr. Cardona laughed and said “Of course, we beat them once and I am sure we can do that again.” The last question came from yours truly and I asked him about a fellow Felixian that might get the job for the Mangolanan national team next year. He tilted his head and asked me, “You mean the current boss of Altomare? Or the one from Sporting Volker?” I said both (although I meant the Altomare one, which has a greater opportunity from happening) he responded with a couch and said this, “I believe that a Felixian coach should be in every team.” He laughed, “But seriously though, this is great news, he will be able to spread the Felixian style of Football to the world and that will make us more noticeable to the international front. I wish those two men good luck in that venture.” And with that statement he left for the team bus.

The Felixians fly back to home and will face off against Alexanderburn in Estadio Altomare in Altomare, the 95,000 seated stadium will most likely be filled up and Felix will have to win to appease the home crowd and to help us in the tables. I hope we win the next match and as always good luck to Felix and to your team if you happen not to be Felixian.

As always here were the statistics for our latest qualification match.

Goals
(9th): Simo Roni (FEL)
(42nd): EST GOAL (EST)
(55th): EST GOAL (EST)
Assists
(9th): Ziya Saqqaf (FEL)
(42nd): EST ASSIST (EST)
(59th): Yun Dong Lee (FEL)
Possession
FEL: 55%
EST: 45%
Fouls
FEL: 8
EST 7
Cards
Yellow: EST Player (EST), Simo Roni (FEL)
Red: N/A
Injuries
N/A

Now here are the statistics for the qualifiers so far.

Goals
Mikel Araboa (6)
Yun Dong Lee (5)
Ziya Saqqaf (3)
Simo Roni (2)
Sebastian Krister (2)
Aloysius Blau (1)
Assists
Sebastian Krister (4)
Manolo Espina (2)
Simo Roni (1)
Mikel Araboa (1)
Clean Sheets
N/A
Yellow Cards
Simo Roni (1)
Red Cards
N/A
Injury List
N/A

-----

World Cup LXV Qualifiers: Nova Hellstrom Causes Controversy Again

By: Steven Smith

What a shock, yes? The wonderful Nova Hellstrom causes controversy again with her anti-pony comments after the Equestrian States-Free Republics match. Thanks to her outrageous comments the Goalkeeper for the Equestrians States had some strong words to say, "First off, I'm not a horse you little [expletive]!" she started. "I'm a [expletive] griffon, and if you can't see that, you're clearly a [expletive]! Second, I'm not a dude! I don't know if what you call men wherever you come from speak in [expletive]-up squeaky, high-pitched voices, but you clearly need a lesson or two about [expletive] tolerance. If I ever see your ugly, [expletive], speciesist face anywhere, I will personally rip your [expletive] throat out and shove it up your pasty, unfeathered, [expletive]-spewing [expletive]!"* Yeah, she was a bit angry over Hellstrom’s comments.

Now she is facing more backlash from her home in the Free Republics, criticizing her reporting and now criticizing the head boss and Ms. Hellstrom’s lover, Mr. Theriault. Many of the critics are just your average folks, people you see everyday. So it’s just not us reporters, or trolls like she likes to call them, so maybe I was right. For the sake of the Free Republics, please fire Ms. Hellstrom and Mr. Theriault, the people think so, why can’t they listen to them? So it’s been decided, hopefully Sporting World and the arrogant Free Republics’ Sporting Association. That’s all from us, until next time.

by **Valanora** » Sat Jun 29, 2013 6:16 pm

"And so the turn around has come and we sit in a delicate spot."

"Delicate and dangerous but also enviable."

"Indeed. Top of the group is an eviable spot to be, especially as the last matchday closes in. Nine matches between then and now though, a bit of a peril filled trail."

"Danger hides behind every corner, a fault in every possible step, to this I do admit. Such are the roads that a team must follow to secure their passage."

"Quite so. You never know which teams will be the punching bag and which ones will refuse to roll over and be a stern test. A test that not everyone passes and that no one passes all the time."

"Tell that to the Polarians and their one hundred percent record. Not even a draw to blemish their pristine performances, such is the might and rise of our Rushmori friends. Shame though that that winger decided to leave Mar Sara, seemed a fine chap and could have retired as a Flame."

"It was not to be and their position in the table suffered for it, but United remains a consistent beacon of dominance and perseverance. To think that they once were nothing more than a feeder club for the might Gladerial United. Now look at how each club has fared."

"It is a sobering tale for Gladerial and her supporters, while a heroic one for United. All that which was mighty has to fall, United has even had their own wobbles, both recently and not so recently. Their is nothing that last forever, however much we may desire it. Even us, immortal as we are. All of us will one day yearn for something beyond the mortal plane and eventually make the journey to the Gray Havens, leaving this life behind us."

"So it is true and known."

by **United Gordonopia** » Sat Jun 29, 2013 6:48 pm

The Beautiful Game: A History of Football in Gordonopia
By Dr. Frank Donaugh, Imperial University

Chapter VIII - National

1928 was a turning point. In that year, 'The Quiet Years' ended. In that year, the first national league was founded. In that year, 14 teams formed the National Gordonopia Football League.

Until that point, the burgeoning league system was nothing more than a collection of regional and city leagues spread across the country, most of them completely independent of each other. Up to that point, they had had only the Republic Cup to bring them together, and through that tournament a number of rivalries formed, and several teams had come to be viewed as national powerhouses in the growing sport.

Following a year of correspondance and meetings, fourteen teams announced that they would form the National Gordonopia Football League. Through a clerical error, the announcement had gone out on the same day as the Class A Collegiate Cross Country Championship, a hugely followed sporting event. However, the growing popularity of the sport was displayed by the fact that major papers in many cities, notably Tolten, Teva, and Deska, found a way to include both in prominent positions by bumping the CACCCC to the front page, and putting the NGFL on the front of the sports section.

The league was composed of teams from around the country, representing a wide variety of metro areas. Three from Gordonopia City, Gordonopia FC, FC Gordonopia City, and the now defunct Union Gordonopia, and two teams from Greater Deska, FC Deska and Renheim Metro, represented the two starting points for the game. Teva FC and the defunct football wing of the Mansburg Running Club, as well as and Fusba United and Sporting Fusba represented the other two largest metropolitan areas at the time. FC Tolten, Al-Kharid, Union Holiday, Belsom Confederated, and Plains represented various other areas.

The format was relatively simple; each team would play a home and away against every other club. The top team would be recognized as the 'season winner,' while the top four clubs would play in a knockout competition at the end of the season to crown a 'Gordonopian Champion'. This format can be seen as the forerunner to today's league.

Because of the high number of games for the time, since most teams still had relatively limited travel budgets, and could not afford to move their season lest they conflict with either outdoor track and field or cross country, the members of the NGFL agreed that they would not participate in the Republic Cup. Unfortunately for the historic tournament, that decision essentially gutted its final rounds. The league was able to market itself due to the consistent success of its members; success derived from the Cup. Over the past two decades, the members of the NGFL had won the Republic Cup a combined twelve times, with twelve more runner-up places and a number of semi-final appearances. In 1925 and 1926, the semi-final had even been composed completely of members from the new league.

While the new league hit the ground running, with average attendance at roughly 30,000 for the first season and 35,000 for the second, led by Gordonopia FC with 45,000 fans, the Republic Cup was unable to recover from the loss of its biggest stars. Within two years, the Cup had folded due to financial difficulties, and the GFF was forced to recognize the NGFL's champion as the Gordonopian champion. There has been no cup since.

by **The Royal Kingdom of Quebec** » Sat Jun 29, 2013 6:51 pm

OOC: I'll be doing 2-part diary entries of a Quebecois player, Adrian Van Zanten. It will be about his reflection over halfway through this World Cup qualifier, as well as things with his crush. Just for mentioning, Adrian's things with crush are 98% based on a real story between me and my crush in RL.

6/29/2017

Dear Diary,

Hello, Muzzy! It's been such a long time since I was able to communicate to you through this diary. It's great to see you again. Lots of things happened since I last wrote you, so I will tell you about them right now.

Us Grim Reapers did very well, placing 4th in what was a rather tough Group 16. While we did not dominate our matches and constantly got draws on weak teams like Narsora and Sondstead, we nevertheless performed very well for such a talented, young team. I believe that for this edition, winning and qualify into the World Cup doesn't matter. It is all about dipping in the water and prepare ourselves for next cycle of qualifying, which then we could hopefully make it into the greater stage.
Head Coach Kim exactly said the same thing very confidently when we drew bloody Narsorans 1-1 in front of 67,000 spectators at Green Point.
He said, Bad games happens. However, learn from them and improve. And that is very much true! So, that's why I'm currently feeling much positive and happy about Qualifier.

Meanwhile, lots of things happened with Joanna during last 2 weeks. At the very last (full) day of school(3 Wednesdays ago), we met at our HF(as you know, we have HF and 2 other classes together) and signed our yearbook, smiling at each other. I wanted to write about how much I love her, but decided not to because I didn't want to feel uncomfortable.

Afterwards, we did not see each other for while until the end of that week. But when I saw her again, I had a great time. I'll tell you what happened.
When I entered the library at 12:00 in the morning, I saw her studying by herself. Decided to take advantage of situation, I joined her in studying for our French and Science Exam. It was a great time and I got to talk to her a lot more than usual. Since I had all day to study and she didn't want to go to home(her brother was having a party with his friends), we stayed there...alone until 18:00.

Then, not much happened. After talking to each other for little bit on 3 Exams we shared classes with, we didn't get to see each other at all. So, I was kinda sad, but looked forward to asking her out the week after(so, last week)......

Well, It's already 2 in the Morning. I better go to sleep now. I'll tell you what happened with Joanna tomorrow night.

Sincerely,
Adrian

by **Aels** » Sat Jun 29, 2013 6:58 pm

THE REPORT
Huw Price in Drayfill

Belief restored

Aels 3
Krytenia 3

A CYNIC would probably say Aels have been lucky with their recent results. A good thing, therefore, that Sergyei Arefev isn't one, or at least is doing a good job at pretending not to be one.

The latest high-profile result in their inaugural World Cup qualifying campaign came on the last day of the first half of qualifying against the group's fourth seeds Krytenia. Despite falling 1–0 behind, a Bryn Thomas brace put Aels ahead before the visitors pegged it back to retake the lead and Elwyn Richard hit a stoppage time equaliser.

Marc Powell, restored to the starting lineup after a Gethin Evans one-man-show threatened to force the him back onto the substitutes' bench, found the early stages difficult and struggled to contain his more accomplished opponents.

After a few quick words with Thomas, however, Powell seemed to settle into the match, providing both assists for the former as Aels stormed to an unlikely half-time lead.

Although some suspect defending allowed Krytenia to retake the lead, Richard's late goal left Arefev in a positive mood. "It's a good way to end the first half of qualifying, unbeaten in three matches against the top seeded sides.

"It's a spirit of teamwork and good morale we'll take into the Celtic Trophy clash and second set of qualifying fixtures."

Match ratings: J McConnell 7.1, R Jones 7.3, O Griffiths 7.3, I Maddox 7.2, S Andrews 7.0, C O'Connor 7.6, R Evans (vc) 7.8, A Jones 7.4, M Powell 8.1, B Thomas 8.4, E Richard (c) 8.3; Subs: G Evans 7.3 (for M Powell), RW Davies no rating (for B Thomas)
Bookings: C O'Connor, A Jones
Goals: B Thomas 2, E Richard

THE REPORT
Huw Price in Drayfill

Two sides of the coin

Celtic Trophy:
Aels 2
Ancharmunn 2
— After extra time. Ancharmunn win 4–2 on penalty kicks

IT WAS so nearly a fairytale ending. The first international match between Aels and Ancharmunn had everything — a sending off, extra time and penalties. But for the Aelsh, who experienced penalty shootout joy in the Baptism of Fire final, it was to be heartbreak.

The match had been billed as Elwyn Richard versus Alun Jenkins, and rightly so. For much of this qualifying campaign the Aelsh media and fans have vilified Charmunnry captain Jenkins for refusing to switch allegiances to his country of birth, residence and employment, although Elwyn Richard has been far too much of a professional — and too close a personal friend of the man — to say anything.

There was also a first opportunity for a curious Aelsh crowd to hopefully see the Mytanar-blooded Dariusz Kaczka in action — if his heritage didn't deny him playing time, that is. A cheeky Aelsh fan or two could be heard suggesting they swap Jenkins for Kaczka — "since the traitor doesn't want to play for us, maybe the Mytanar will".

Kaczka is one of a rare bunch, an Ancharmunn-born Mytanar who's made it in Charmunnry sport, if not society. However that comes with its own challenges, including both implicit and overt racism, something Aels head coach Sergyei Arefev — a full-fledged Mytanar — roundly criticised in his pre-match briefing.

"It's incredible that in this day and age people are still being judged on their heritage, and the Charmunnry coaching staff and soccer board should be utterly ashamed of themselves. We'll set out our stall tomorrow to win and show them that Mytanars are not second class citizens, I'll personally show them."

On the topic of Kaczka, Arefev was philosophical. "The lad is having a difficult time. He's between a rock and a hard place, wanting to fulfil his dreams of playing well for his country but also at the price of being seen as a traitor to the nationalist cause in his hometown.

"Maybe if Jenkins doesn't want to play for Aels, Kaczka does!"

That perhaps not-so-tongue-in-cheek remark might have legs in months to come. On the pitch it was an evenly-fought contest, with Aels scoring through defender Iwan Maddox and captain Elwyn Richard, while on his club's home ground Charmunnry captain Jenkins grabbed both visiting goals to a cacophony of jeers from the crowd.

Extra time couldn't settle the score so penalty kicks were to decide the first holder of the Celtic Trophy, a title which will pass between the two sides whenever they play in competition.

Aels, of course, had recent history on their side. But Arefev had admitted before the Baptism of Fire final that they didn't practice penalties. If they have started since, it didn't show, as despite — to rowdy cheers from the crowd — James McConnell keeping out Jenkins' effort, the visitors still romped home to a 4–2 shootout win to take the first title.

Match ratings: J McConnell 7.6, R Jones 7.1, O Griffiths 7.1, I Maddox 7.8, S Andrews 7.2, C O'Connor 7.6, R Evans (vc) 7.4, A Jones 7.5, G Evans 7.3, B Thomas 7.9, E Richard (c) 8.3; Subs: I Thomas 5.9 (for R Jones), A Trevor 7.1 (for B Thomas)
Bookings: R Jones, I Maddox, S Andrews, A Jones
Sendings off: A Jones
Goals: I Maddox, E Richard

by **Legalese** » Sat Jun 29, 2013 7:01 pm

With exactly half of the matches in the marathon qualifying stage done, and the Legalese National Team currently holding a full-match lead in their group and automatic qualification to World Cup LXV, you would expect the team to be covered in praises. At the very least, there’d be some promotional efforts going on in the short break after their home victory over Neo Lemmitania, with even a media tour in the works.

However, those who have been following the National Team under the tenure of Manager Stan Thate would know better. The team remained buttoned-up, reportedly politely denying appearances on multiple shows, including a team-wide invitation put out by the producers of All Night with Barney Higgins. Both a spokesman for the show, as well as a spokesman for the network declined to comment.

Thate finally came out of hiding today, at a press conference put on by the Federation just prior to Legalese’s trip to Europa Brittania to start off the return legs. And, as usual, he remained his dour self that acted as if the team had muddled through nine draws, as opposed to their actual results - seven wins and two draws.

“It’s still a long road ahead” he said at the conference earlier today. “Nine more matches in a few months, with a lot left on the line. Anybody could advance at this point, regardless of how the first set of matches went.”

Technically, Thate is accurate. automatic qualification for Legalese will require them to maintain a lead over Starblaydia, who sit just three points back, thanks to an upset over them by the Pazhujeb Islands. Should the Starblaydi catch, Neo Lemmitania sits another four points behind in the chase for the second spot, sending the recipient into a two-legged playoff tie. Krytenia and Zwangzug also remain on the edge, both sitting level with each other, and one point behind Neo Lemmitania.

Thate’s focus, however, is on Europa Brittania. “They’re a strong team. We had the benefit of a home crowd and being their first qualifying match in a long time. That said, they have a history of winning, and two cups to show for it. If we can focus, keep them from scoring, and apply pressure, we’ll prevail.”

Meanwhile, local supporters are looking forward to the match that may very well set the tone and direction of the second half of qualifying: Match Day Eleven. On that day, Legalese will meet with Starblaydia at National Stadium, in what will be the return match for the top two sides in Group Five.

Stan put down the paper, closing his eyes in thought, drifiting back a decade...

They could hear it everywhere in the stadium that night, and in most of Legalese City. To his brothers dressed in red, and the coaching staff in black jackets - training jackets for the assistants, with Cushing in a long jacket over his plain white shirt and simple black tie - the sound was combined with a vibration running through the building, creating the effect of a clap and a thud together:

Clap. Clap. Clap. Clap.

As they made the walk through the tunnel, the claps grew louder. For Stan, the thudding was still present, though mostly in his chest. He took deep breaths, attempting to calm himself down, and remembered the words of his manager, Gabe Cushing, just moments before:

“There’s eleven of them out there, same as you. Eleven beings, with a similar goal - to put the ball in it. Play the game that got you here, and you’ll do it more often than they will.”

Light shone on him as he reached the end of the tunnel, and led the team onto the pitch. The claps continued, the pace quickening, as the stadium, full of over 80,000 Legalites dressed in blood red, cheered.

Momentarily, Stan felt out of place, his keeper’s kit being the only long-sleeved shirt in the lineup, and - as required by the Laws of the Game - a completely different color than the deep red tones of the home side. Why they chose a light blue - some called it cyan - he did not know.

As the teams prepared to line up, he saw the Starblaydi team off to the side, putting white warmup jackets on over their purple kits. As the starters formed a line of eleven, the crowd grew silent, watching the proceedings. The middle player started beating his chest, the others keeping in time, with an occasional thigh-slap to punctuate various words, while the leader yelled what was, as best as he could determine, an ancient incantation - that, or possibly the recipe to some Starblaydi dish, for all he knew.

Suddenly, the chanting ended with a shout, and the players in white all jumped forward, striking various poses. As Stan would later learn, this was the famous Raiigar, the traditional dance of the Starblaydi tribes, re-purposed for national pride.

The crowd stayed silent for a moment, before erupting in laughter. Stan would see a social media post from a friend of a friend saying, “For decades, we Legalites have feared our neighbors to the north. After seeing their footballers dance, I’m now embarrassed that we feared them for so long.”

Eventually, the match would kick off. Stan watched as the entire team pushed forward on the kickoff, despite not having possession. That would change quickly, as he saw Jimmy press forward, push the ball upfield, where eventually Monte would kick in a deflected shot.

For him, the match was actually quite boring. The dreamed simulcra in purple proved to be neither perilous, or even the men in mauve, technically. He did get a chance to field one overplayed pass, an attempt by Julian Starblayde - the fake one, not the real one - to put Lazerevski on a run, but otherwise, spent the first half as little more than a spectator.

There was one moment he regretted in the second half, however. Upfield, Gerard lost possession of the ball on a sloppy dribble, allowing Lazerevski to advance. As he neared, he gave the ball off to another striker, whose dark hair and complexion were somewhat lightened by the mix of the lights, and - Stan theorized - the fact that she wasn’t really Nicole Maitland-Banks, but a dreamed object pretending to be her. Alas, real or fake, the striker prepared to shoot, firing to the right.

Stan dived to make the save, confident that he’d be there in time. As he made the move, he saw one of his defenders, Phil Livingston, also attempt to stop the shot. As the ball glanced off of Livingston’s foot, Stan hit the pitch. He looked up to see the ball bounce to his left, rolling too quickly to field. Starblaydia had scored, though a Legalite had put it in the net.

He was woken by the flight attendant. “Please re-buckle your belt, sir. We’re nearing final approach.”

Stan looked up, his eyes refocusing. “Lovely dream you were interrupting.”

by **Pasarga** » Sat Jun 29, 2013 7:02 pm

And here we go on the merry on the second half of the ride. I hope everyone has shelter ready.

MD10

by **Taeshan** » Sat Jun 29, 2013 7:04 pm

Taeshan

Saugeais

2

Jackson

James

Longwaters

Ash

Lydie

Hart

Jaffacake

Daniel

Fasnacht

Seaver

Tlumach

LeClerc

Conrad

Rousseau

Juniper

Richelieu

Icicle

Richelieu

Kljestan

Bourgogne

Pantoum

Archambault

Subs: 45' Blake Descateaux for Casimir Archambault [SAU], 45' Carson Turnbull for Julien LeClerc [SAU], 45' Andrew Müller for Tyler Icicle [TAE], 55' Kyle Laravy for Brian Kljestan [TAE], 80' Johny Street for Chad Ash [SAU], 83' Ender Wiggin for Peter Fasnacht [TAE]

Goals: 25' François Rousseau [SAU], 40' Tyler Pantoum [SAU], 67' Alphonse Richelieu [SAU], 90' Ender Wiggin [TAE]

Taeshan

Darmen

1

0

Jackson

Smith

Styles

Bakker

Lydie

Tennant

Wetter

Bouquet

Walters

Blitzer

Pato

Yeshi

Juniper

Frapp

Icicle

Rebbits

Ptolemy

Williams

Pantoum

Chong

Wiggin

Kinders

Subs: 50' Jeremi Krieder for Xavier Ptolemy [TAE], 70' Jordan Jaffacake for Grant Wetter [TAE], 84' Aaron Conrad for Tyler Icicle [TAE]

Goals: 22' Ender Wiggin [TAE]

In what can only be described as a great two friendly games for the Purple Knights and so far so good. A tie and a win should allow for a good second half for the Knights, especially with a good second game against Sargossa in two weeks time. Elsewhere the Knights really proved how they could score together, and Ender Wiggin scored twice in the two games and may look for inclusion in the next starting lineup.

by **Sangti** » Sat Jun 29, 2013 7:35 pm

Group 16
Narsora 2–2 Wight
The Sovan Antithesis 3–3 Karditan
Sangti 0–1 Jedi8246
Aquitayne 0–1 Saintland
Sondstead 1–1 The Royal Kingdom of Quebec

Sangti 0-1 Jedi8246
Jedi8246 - 44'
Sangti lineup: Cua, Pablo, dela Vega, Docdoc, Ang, Sor, Linsangan, Magsombol, Khan, Garaza, Utanes.
Subs used: Magcaleng <- Garaza (45'), Averilla <- Docdoc (80') Arceo <- Ang (85')

Standings

--	GROUP 16			P	W	D	L	GF	GA	GD	PTS
1	Wight				10	6	4	0	25	11	14	22
2	Jedi8246			10	7	0	3	16	13	3	21
3	Saintland			10	6	2	2	20	12	8	20
4	The Sovan Antithesis		10	5	1	4	23	26	-3	16
5	The Royal Kingdom of Quebec	10	4	4	2	19	14	5	16
6	Sangti				10	4	2	4	8	9	-1	14
7	Karditan 			10	3	4	3	14	13	1	13
8	Sondstead			10	2	4	4	9	14	-5	10
9	Aquitayne			10	1	1	8	6	15	-9	4
10	Narsora				10	0	2	8	6	19	-13	2

With the result, Sangti stays at 6th, while losing their first home match at the World Cup Qualidying. Next they will travel to Saintland's Royal Stadium in Petrus for a showdown with Saintland. Sangti needs to win all of its matches if they want to make their World Cup dream a reality. Also, Wight's draw with Narsora puts Group 16's leadership tighter with Wight, Jedi8246 and Saintland separated by a mere 2 points.

FEATURE ARTICLE

Forgotten but not Forgiven
A story of a football fan who was injured in the Sangti-GSE riots

by Edric Conciso

I was a die hard fan of football in the once basketball-crazy nation of Sangti. I go to every Sangti match around the nation. Yes, my family is rich but I cannot afford to join them in Sangti's away matches save for some rich prople who can afford to. I haven't see Sangti lose a game either. Since Sangti's other teams performed well in the international stage, like the Indios of baseball and the Flaming Eagles of ice hockey, I rooted for the Agilang Dilaw to follow their footsteps and perform well. The only time I followed the Agilang Dilaw in their travels was their Matchday 6 match against Gaveo in the Market Cup at the Equestrian States.

When the plane landed on the land of the Equestrian States, I was surprised to see earth ponies, unicorns and pegasus doing the usual things done by humans in Sangti. Then I visted Canterlot, where Matchday 6 is taking place. The Sangtians were understood to need a win over Gaveo to ensure qualification. After 90 minutes, I cried, Sangti was out of the Market Cup, because some nation who beat us in Matchday 2 won. That nation was the German-Spanish Empire. I really hated them from the start as they were so brash and arrogant, preferring to use a man-disadvantage just to let their opponents show pity at them and throw the match for them.

After some time, the Sangti team will fly to Kinitaria and Legalese for the Baptism of Fire. Not sure where I will watch the match, I decided not to go with them. Hopefully there was the Sangti Invitational, where Sangti will test its skills against level opposition in Felix, Speranda and yes, the empire again. The first matchday was against our so-called rivals after the Speranda-Felix match. I purchased a front-seat ticket in the Estadio Ferdinand Marcos for 5,000 Sangs and I watched the match. The first half was jampacked with action, and the colored flares were lit as GSE scored its first goal courtesy of a man with the name Rios on his shirt. I was not interested to know players from nations that are not named Sangti, particularly that empire. However, John scored the equalizer just before halftime.

The second half was more intense. Sangti through Daren Corsiga scored a thunderbolt of a shot to make it 2-1 to Sangti. The away fans started to become frustrated. When Christiann Sanchez scored the third goal at the first minute of stoppage time, the away fans finally lost their cool. They started to attack fans, some of them invaded the pitch to approach the players and cause a big riot. Security was quick to evacuate the players and control the situation, however, it was out of hand.

I tried to get out of the stadium to avoid trouble, but some GSE fans were already there waiting for their Sangtian victims. I tried to run as fast as I can to the Arena Nacional, but there were GSE supporters fighting Sangtian fans everywhere. The south section of the arena was teemed with fighting hooligans from either nation. I was surrounded by GSE supporters and started to punch me in the face. I was almost knocked out, I further received kicks, hit by a bat and punts. I didn't know what happened then. I was knocked out cold.

I woke up at a nearby hospital and all I remember was that I was mauled. They even robbed me of my wallet. Fortunately it only contained 200 Sangs, as I don't bring much money to the stadiums. I watched Sangti's matches on TV and another heartbreak loomed, this time against Aels. Drawing in the 89th minute, Richard as it was written in the jersey, scored the winning goal for the eventual champions.

I told myself that I will forget GSE and football altoghether, but they were still not forgiven in my heart. I was going to throw football out of my mind, when Sangti beat Karditan. I was impressed by their performance and guess what, I became a football fan again. For so much love of Sangtian football and the domestic league, I applied for Diario, and they told me to write an article regarding this.

I never said in this article that I was a diehard fan of Deportivo Nespa, and hopefully the natonal team can visit here in Isla Nespa.

by **West Angola** » Sat Jun 29, 2013 7:43 pm

NAMIBE CHRONICLE

WEST ANGOLA DEFEATS JOSHULIA 4-2, SITS IN THIRD BY GD

JOSHULIA- West Angola inched closer to second place yesterday, taking advantage of Beldonia's 3-2 upset of top-seeded Osarius to move into a point tie for second place, with Osarius holding the spot by virtue of their +14 goal differential (West Angola's is +11, see table below). The new group leader is the surprise team of Group Eleven, Sandwich Territories, which defeated Kericia 1-0 to gain a one-point advantage over both Osarius and West Angola. West Angola next faces off against Osarius, looking to avenge a 1-0 defeat in the opening leg of qualifying and seize a crucial advantage in the race to qualify for the World Cup. Coach Phillip Garren was optimistic about the team's chances, saying: "When our boys play at their full potential and ability, they can beat any team in any reality at any time. The key is staying focused and playing hard until the final whistle blows, if we can do that, we'll do our country proud next week."

The match against Joshulia saw Luke Parrish take the lead over Peter Wilson, landing a hat trick while Jan Pawel scored his second goal of the tournament, leaving Wilson scoreless for the first time in several matches. Parrish scored in the 18th, 31st, and 62nd minutes, while Pawel nailed his goal in the 48th on an early break that left Joshulia looking confused and off-balance. West Angola never trailed, but there was certainly some excitement as the home team roared back following Pawel's goal, scoring on Blake Green in the 56th and 60th minutes to narrow the margin to 3-2. With the roar from the Joshulian faithful filling the air, Luke Parrish refused to collapse under the pressure of another late-game fold and hammered home the goal that quieted the crowd and put Joshulia away for good.

Group 11
Beldonia 3–2 Osarius
Joshulia 2–4 West Angola
Carizzal 2–4 Astograth
Luzvimindia 1–1 Filopines
Kericia 0–1 Sandwich Territories

-   Group 11                           Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Sandwich Territories                10    8   0   2    20   14   +6    24
 2 Osarius                             10    7   2   1    28   14  +14    23
 3 West Angola                         10    7   2   1    17    6  +11    23
 4 Astograth                           10    6   1   3    17    7  +10    19
 5 Filopines                           10    5   2   3    24   15   +9    17
 6 Kericia                             10    3   2   5    20   26   −6    11
 7 Luzvimindia                         10    1   5   4    17   24   −7     8
 8 Carizzal                            10    1   3   6    15   25  −10     6
 9 Beldonia                            10    1   2   7    10   23  −13     5
10 Joshulia                            10    1   1   8    11   25  −14     4

(OOC: This takes place immediately following West Angola's match against Kericia.)
Luke had been waiting in line for a phone for nearly half an hour, as every line was jammed with people trying to call home and talk about the match. His cell phone battery had died an hour before the match, and he'd forgotten to bring a charger, forcing him to use a land line to call Sarah. Finally seeing an open phone, Parrish sprinted to it and dialed his home number, praying that Sarah would pick up. After three rings that seemed to last an eternity, he heard the click of the receiver being lifted and Sarah's tired voice, "Hello? Luke?"

"Sarah! How are you?"

"A little tired, it's 3AM here."

"Oh, sorry, didn't know. How have you been? What did the doctor say?"

"Well, he ran some tests, and told me my condition is very serious."

"How serious? What's going on?"

"Well, it's going to require some extensive lifestyle changes over the next few months. I won't be able to go out as much, and I'll probably gain some weight, and I will definitely be irritable at times. No drinking, and no smoking, which won't be a problem, and I'll need to get plenty of sleep. Oh, and less traveling, so I won't be able to accompany you to your away matches as much."

"Sarah, you're being coy and avoiding my questions. That's all good information, but you haven't told me what's wrong with you!"

She laughed, and Parrish grew even more frustrated, "Luke, there's nothing wrong with me, silly. I'm better than I've ever been, besides being tired."

"Well then what's going on!?"

"I'm pregnant."

The phone went dead in Sarah's ear as Luke dropped the receiver in surprise, prompting several angry shouts from people behind him waiting to use the phone. Picking it back up, he tried to control his breathing, "Are you serious? You're really pregnant?"

"Yes, although I'm not showing much yet. When will you be home?"

"Trust me, as soon as possible, and maybe a little quicker!" Parrish hung up the phone and sprinted, filled with energy despite playing a ninety-six minute football match, back to his team to spread the good news.

by **Jeruselem** » Sat Jun 29, 2013 9:10 pm

Princess Katy's Blog 30/06/2013

It's past the halfway stage, and well back to the action after a short break. Away games from Jeruselem and Jeru FC as well as Kinitaria.

We're jealous of Kinitaria, Pondy's team is kicking ass with recent 3-0 win over Arkolon. And they are still top of Group 19. She had a rocky start in that team but look at the team now. True contenders.

The Kytler Peninsulae sent our own Jeru FC crashing to a 2nd loss with 3-2 win. I watched a replay of the game. The defense were definitely in sleep mode or something. Three soft goals conceded and then they didn't give the attack much ball to use. It was like ping pong in defense. The strikers were very efficient for once given the lack of possession they had. I know sister would very unhappy since the opponent was a weaker one and Jeru FC needed the win. I mean you can blame a coach but if you get garbage to work with ... you're not gonna get gold out of it.

The good news is Jeruselem are still scoring goals. They beat Querria 4-1 away. The break didn't change the scoring momentum. You'd expect Jeru FC to score 4 goals a game, but it's Jeruselem who are doing that. They don't concede many goals either so it's a big plus in case we get to goal difference.

There's rumours on the line that my sister is having number 2. Well, it's not rocket science. I mean look at her. She's starting to look preggers. Don't worry people, she can handle it. She's tough like us Dallas girls. Babies and work aren't exclusive. Babies and football mix well.

Group 6, Jeruselem are just two points behind top spot in 3rd. Sounds terrible but 2 points is less then one win. The Licentian Islands head Group 13 with Jeru FC like 6 points off the pace in 4th. 6 points is a big deal as you're pretty screwed if you're two wins off top spot by the final game.

Scary is Group 18 with Qazox trying to beat out 4 other contenders within 6 points. Group 16 is pretty close too.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to being an auntie 2nd time round. We Dallas girls don't have quantity of kids like in the past. But quality is all good. I hope to join the mother club soon, but not yet.

Querria 1–4 Jeruselem
The Kytler Peninsulae 3–2 Jeru FC
Arkolon 0–3 Kinitaria

by **Jeru FC** » Sat Jun 29, 2013 9:37 pm

Jeru FC coach Princess Melody and player Dream Lord

Melody: Hey, can remind you lot ... a football games IS 90 AND NOT 45 MINUTES
DL: We were there for 90 minutes
Melody: Physically, you lot went to sleep for last 45
DL: They were too good
Melody: NO, you weren't trying.
DL: We are sorta trying

Melody: What's THAT mean?
DL: Trying but without the effort
Melody: That's not trying, that's being FUCKING lazy
DL: We're just kids, we're not used to this pressure
Melody: I'm not here to coach a bunch of kids for a holiday camp.
DL: It's not holiday camp?

Melody: Number 1 is qualifying for the World cup for money
DL: We get money?
Melody: How do think we have a Jeru FC team. If the team doesn't qualify, there's less money
DL: Things you learn
Melody: SO, we must qualify
DL: I guess we need the money

Melody: No more of this being lazy business, it's time to step up
DL: To where?
Melody: MANHOOD. Don't be little boys, it's time to be men.
DL: Can't we wait until we are 21
Melody: Well, you're here to represent the country. It is NOT A HOLIDAY
DL: I guess we'd better pull out socks up

Melody: Or else I'll give you lot all wedgies
DL: Those are no fun.
Melody: The halfway is over, it's time for action boys
DL: Yes Mum
Melody: I'm not your Mother
DL: I don't have one ...

Melody: You don't?
DL: I've never had proper Mum. Can you be my Mum?
Melody: No, I have enough kids to worry about
DL: Oh yes, your own.
Melody: I feel like a babysitter
DL: You're doing a good job, we respect your work

Melody: You only say that because I have big boobies
DL: That helps
Melody: What am I doing to do with you lot
DL: We're been well behaved
Melody: You mean you've been worse?
DL: Yeah, we've actually good

Melody; God help poor me

by **New Sideburn** » Sun Jun 30, 2013 3:20 am

Cathy Stokes' Dream Diary
January 3, 330
I dreamt that I hadn't dreamt for months. It was a relief, to be honest.

Portia exhaled, visible in the cold breeze. They were 2-2 against Nandezia, 79 minutes in... and they'd given away a penalty.
Rook Harm had been sent off. Gethin was too tense even to argue with him.
Portia saw that one of their forwards, Chevalier, was up to take the penalty. He'd looked dangerous throughout the game, but nevertheless... nothing to suggest he was flawless at the penalty spot. You never knew until they tried the shot, after all...
She cracked her knuckles, bent into a half-squat and waited. And watched.
It was an alright penalty. If Portia hadn't gone the right way, it would've passed without much scrutiny.
Portia did go the right way.
She leapt left with cat-like agility, and then jumped on top of it gratefully when it bounced down from her chest. As she hurled the ball out for the counter-attack, she couldn't help but feel gratitude... Nandezia was a promising young side, just like they'd been two years ago. A draw to them would be almost acceptable. But a loss - to anyone - was verging on criminal.

That night, Gethin Ramsey glared at the sheet of paper, as though willing it to bring him answers.
New Sideburn was a nation that tended to produce very good centrebacks. That was the problem. James Yorke was very good centreback. Olga Nihil was a very good centreback.
He needed, right now, a great centreback.
Rook Harm had been a great centreback two years ago. Now he was old and slow and reckless and less than the man he should be - that he needed to be.
The list held eight names.

J Yorke - SFM
R Harm - Egloskerry, APX
O Nihil - MAX
D Kendall - TRE
G Pearce - NH
D Rinehart - NU
L Fontaine - PAR
B Morant - INT

After some further thought he added another name; H Belfast - CHH.
Now. Yorke. Next to his name, he'd written prime of career, playing daily, disciplined. BEST BET. Keep.
Next, Rook Harm. Old, slow, violent. A moment's thought. Excessively violent. Gethin tapped absently on the desk for a time, before deciding Drop after cycle.
Olga Nihil was next. Olga was interesting, interesting enough for Gethin to keep scribbling at her name for some time. Shit 329 with a club in free-fall. Great 328, 330. But always... kind of underwhelming for the country. She was always good, but she could never replicate her best club performances... Replace if possible, not urgent was the verdict.
Derek Kendall was next on the list. Never makes mistakes was written very firmly in Gethin's stolid, heavy handwriting, and then underlined. Yet not even two minutes of tapping rhythmically on the table could allow him to think of anything that actually set him apart. He ticked all the boxes and did absolutely nothing to distinction. If we get desperate.
It was now that he realised Bruce Morant was Brenecian, and grunted while crossing out his name.
Gareth Pearce and Douglas Rinehart were both young, capable players currently plying their trade in top Brenecian teams, but he felt he could do better than either. Lucia Fontaine was given some thought, however. Fontaine was a genuinely good defender, playing for Parrhesia United. The only problem was her physique; 5'7" and lean. It was her main flaw in the Premiership... but the global game was far less physical an affair, so maybe she could hack it at this level after all... A definite maybe, scribbled Gethin decisively.
H Belfast. Hadrian Belfast. For the Chenoworth bloody Harriers.
The Harriers were in the First Division. Using Belfast would certainly raise a few eyebrows... oh, and if that wasn't enough, he was nineteen years old.
Somehow, Belfast had been Escher's strong recommendation. The 'safermetrics', as she called her pretty little numbers, added up.
Yeah, well... even so...
And yet, she'd been right about Wingett. Chase didn't score many goals, but he sure as hell created a lot of opportunities. Colossal workrate nowadays, too. An underwhelming winger who could only perform as the star of a small team had somehow become just one well-oiled cog in the machine... and her numbers knew it. And as much as Gethin hated himself for it, he'd do anything for A Result. Even succumbing to the influence of an upjumped accountant.
Wait 'til he's in the Premiership was grudgingly put next to Belfast's name.

by **Apox** » Sun Jun 30, 2013 3:43 am

The crowd was packed tightly into the Shallow Grave and George could hear them chanting and making noise as he and the team gathered in their changing room of sorts for the pre-match speech by Sir Richard Marshall, who was stressing the importance of linking up well, and giving each player detailed tactical instructions relevant to their position and opposite numbers.

The team had been announced the previous night and was as follows:
GK - Caddie Jones
RD - Cassia Noble
CD - John Harper
LD - Alex Holderness
RM - Victor Charlfont
CM - Jordan Rickwright
CM - Richard Mak
LM - Jennifer Cretha
CAM - George McLaren (c)
ST - Almost Chris Maarsden
ST - Jeremy Scott
Substitutes
GK - Lewie Thornton
DF - Holt Abel
MF - Jack Jones
ST? - Sir Charles Barton

In short all the substitutes (except Sir Charles) were likely to get some playing time. George lined up with his team in the tunnel, next to the hated Bodwannick, and walked out onto the pitch.

In doing so he was hit by the roars of the crowd, he hadn't experienced that for a while, and he was nearly overcome by it, and he could tell several other team member were a little phased as well. The crowd was mainly Wightlings, most of whom would be supporting Haïtiens of course, but there was still quite a big Apoxian contingent packed away in one corner, which was a sea of red and white.

The referee strode out into the centre circle, and beckoned George and Bodwannick over, to shake hands and do the toss. As he and Bodwannick shook hands, Bodwannick muttered to him under his breath,

"You better bloody lose, or I'll come after you..." he sneered menacingly, as George felt a surge of adrenaline filled anger surge through him. Never before had he wanted to hit someone so badly, and he almost did, only just restraining himself. He won the toss though, and decided to kick off proceedings.

Before he could properly gather himself, they had started, with Almost Chris Maarsden darting around the Haïtiens players before being floored by a very solid tackle. This was clearly going to be quite a physical match. The Rose & Thistle free-kick was largely wasted by Jordan Rickwright, destroying the advantage, and piling the pressure back on, with Haïtiens spending much of their time in the R&T's half.

However, with as shaky a defense as the R&T's added to the offensive nature of the team, it was always likely that they would concede, with John Harper allowing Gentleman Patterson to charge through, and power a shot into the back of the Thistles net, with Caddie Jones looking quite stunned in goal.

A couple of minutes later, and we again conceded, this time Sylvon Widegates setting up the damnable AV Bodwannick to score Haïtiens second of the match, after only 15 minutes of play. It was clear the team would need some shoring up, or the game could get quite embarrassing, quite quickly for those involved in the game.

Luckily, George was able to step up to the mark, leading by example, and slowly the star combination of Scott, Maarsden, McLaren and Rickwright began to work, and the game became a much more even affair, with a solid shot on target in the 23rd minute by Jeremy Scott which was blocked by the Haïtiens keeper. One minute later, he was even tested, this time by a curling shot from Almost Chris Maarsden.

A quieter period then followed, with a strong tackle on Richard Mak giving R&T a free-kick which amounted to little, before Gentlemen Patterson drove in another shot, though Caddie Jones was just able to push it away, and keep the deficit to only two as the team went into half-time.

"Well, this is awkward..." said the Minister for Sport in Apox, Miriam Whittaker, to the Leader of Apox, Jemima Cafrew, "See, we don't actually know where Penilenium is as such, so, how are we meant to play them away?" Jemima looked confused by this,

"Come on... surely we can find out where Penileanium is!" Miriam shook her head.

"There is no way" The two sat in silence for a little while, before Jemima burst out with,

"Oh what the hell! Presumably they'll do what we did, and kick off without our team being there. We'll then appeal to have the result reversed by the WCC. I doesn't really matter." Miriam nodded in agreement, and strode out of the office to have someone in her department draw up an official appeal document. Jemima sat back in her chair,

'Bloody footballers,' she thought.

(The 1-0 loss by Penileanium against no opposition really sums up their campaign thus far really.)

by **Brenecia** » Sun Jun 30, 2013 3:48 am

A consolation goal.
That's what it was, and Ash Twining knew it, too. But still... the finish had been perfect.
James Macbeth had come racing down the flank, laying it off when he met resistance, to Riggs. Riggs had belted it into the nearest guy's face (okay, a perfect goal apart from that...) and it had glanced off to Ash at an ideal height.
The half-volley smashed into the net at breathtaking velocity.
It was a crime that it didn't count for two, really...
Yet at the end of the day, the score ran 2-1 against them. It felt almost unjust.

SCOOP OF THE DAY with MEREDITH FINCHE
Hey there! Time for a ... slightly hastened Scoop tonight, as our lads have just finished losing 2-1 to the Syndicate. I predicted 1-0, so... you know, at least I've got that to feel smug about. It's not much consolation, really.

You know who could give us the strikeforce we need? Aldous Huckerby Ten Years Ago. He was so much faster, stronger, tougher and more eligible for a poster on a teenage girl's wall back then! But really, it's enough to say he's had a great career... he's the only player to ever play for both the Sabrefell Moths and for Sabrefell Athletic, for one, and he wasn't maligned for it either given his Brenecian...ness. And he was top scorer in Brenecia for four seasons running before moving to the Moths. He's had a wonderful career... I just wish it was ten years ago, is all.

Next stop; Qutar, away. Now I said a draw, but I do think we could win this if we shape up in attack, where we've been... kind of bad, really. But failing that, well... if we don't concede any goals, we can't lose, right? Right? We're probably going to concede a couple of goals. But here's hoping! See you then, people!

by **The Inevitable Syndicate** » Sun Jun 30, 2013 3:53 am

Brenecnia Put Up A Fight, But It Wasn't Alright On The Night
Our shelter is just fine, thanks. A little pale, but apart from that...

30th June 12013

Pavonia, BRENECIA---- And so the second half of the World Cup 65 Qualifies has begun, with the Syndicate starting this stint of matches 3rd in the group, just one point off second placed Bears Armed. This means that the Syndicate are going to have to push hard, and hopefully win their games against thw higher seeds, the Bears themselves, and the Equestrian States. This first game, played last night, was against Brenecia. The last time we faced them, we kicked off qualifying with a bang, and won 3-0 at the Flynn Arena. Now that they've toughened up against more prestigious sides, the tried their hardest to blow our socks off while we were away, but it just wasn't enough, as the game ended with the score being 2-1 to the Syndicate.

That's not to say the game wasn't filled with many exciting moments, as right from the get go players were zipping about the pitch in an attempt to get a quick goal off the bat. It didn't quite work, but just fifteen minutes in, Jay Robinson came down from the left wing and delivered an early goal that really proved to be a boon for the team. Brenecia didn't quit, as that would be very silly of them, and tried to create spaces and opportunity for goals. Their style of play seemed to mesh with ours, so the smarter playes in midfield managed to mark the opponent well, and block the ball from travelling any further. Of course, there were some moments when it was all or nothing, and unfortunately Midfielder Sean Lucas recieved a yellow card after a dodgy tackle on James MacBeth that just didn't connect at the right angle. This toned the man's actions down a little, as he didn't want to be sent off, and as a result a ball was fielded over to Riggs, and he whipped it past our last line of defence and made a shot at goal. Unfortunately for them, Oliver deflected the ball (with his face), and the ball went sailing into the air. We couldn't stop it from finding the feet of Ash Twining, and a belter of a goal was scored. This tied the score up at 1-1.

There wasn't much action until a few minutes past the hour mark, where Bradley Birch received the ball from Mitchell after a great corner sent it perfectly into the empty space on the field. Using this, Birch aimed straight and true and scored past Stephen Mansfield with ease. This edged the Syndicate ahead, and they managed to retain their lead well into the final minutes of the match. Brenecia vied for the ball on many occasions, but whenever they did managed to get it, they seemed to fumble and failed to make it past the defence. The matched ended in a 2-1 win for the plucky Syndicatians.

The Inevitable Syndicate
:: Goalscorers ::
:: '15 Jay Robinson
:: '64 Bradley Birch
Brenecia
:: Goalscorers ::
:: '37 Ash Twining

-----------Group 20                        P  W  D  L GF-GA    GD   Pts
 1  Equestrian States                  10  7  3  0 27-11   +16   24
 2  Bears Armed                        10  7  2  1 28-14   +14   23
 3  The Inevitable Syndicate           10  7  1  2 20-9    +11   22
 4  The Islands of Qutar               10  5  2  3 19-15   +4    17
 5  Carmadin                           10  4  1  5 20-17   +3    13
 6  Brenecia                           10  4  1  5 11-16   -5    13
 7  Sudagiu                            10  3  2  5 17-18   -1    11
 8  Free Republics                     10  3  1  6 14-20   -6    10
 9  Omarios                            10  2  0  8 13-33   -20   6
10  Tantamir                           10  0  3  7 10-26   -16   3
Flags kindly provided byEquestrian States.

Freddie Johnson
ILN Sports

by **Ko-oren** » Sun Jun 30, 2013 4:00 am

The match day when the top three fell apart

With Liventia's draw in last match day, the top three of Group 14 (the Holy Empire, Ko-oren, Liventia) was just two points apart from each other. It seemed that with a relatively easy match day for the three teams, the first big blow would happen on match day 11, when the Holy Empire will play us. Yet only one of these three teams made it through match day 10 unscathed. The Holy Empire won 2-0 over Rex Lucian. Ko-oren played Piddlehinton, like Rex Lucian without a formal roster or any other information, and tied 0-0. Lastly, Liventia had an even worse day as they lost 3-2 against Nouvel Ecosse.

As far as goal statistics are important: Ko-oren is finally the least conceding team of the group. Iturributa, Liventia and Nouvel Ecosse were all on 10 conceded goals, like the Greenblues, but only we kept our goal clean during this match day. The others conceded 2 or 3 goals each, so we can finally say that the defensive tactic pays out in the form of clean sheets. May we remind you that out of these 10 conceded goals, 5 were from match day 2 (5-4 loss against the Holy Empire) alone? We've conceded five goals in the remaining nine games! Tomorrow is another game against the Holy Empire, so we'll see for how long we are the least conceding team. Anyway, they are now three points ahead of us because they did manage to win, so a victory tomorrow will only keep the group close and interesting... and lets us have a chance at direct qualification. We are still quite a ways behind Polar Islandstates, who have conceded one goal(!) so far.

Concerning the horrible 0-0 draw, the following 'conversation' (some would say monologue) could be heard from the changing room.
"What do you mean, you forgot to score? I thought we finally left these days behind us! You may be lucky Liventia choked even worse than we did! And even against a team like this... Have you even ever heard of Piddlehinton before? Didn't think so! Oh wow, so the terrifying defense of the Piddlehintians is a thing now! Forgetting to score... Are we still at this level? Came up to 31st place, only to keep forgetting to score? We've finally gotten rid of these weird random 0-0 draws! And now Piddlehinton... We should have been one point behind the Holy Empire, for god's sake! And we play them tomorrow. A 1-0 win tomorrow is enough to overtake them, still. But then again, we have to win!"

About the 'a 1-0 win is enough': he's actually right. In match day 2, they beat Ko-oren 5-4... at their home. This means that under the away goal rule, a 1-0 win at home would put us at 5-5, but with our 4 away goals, we have the better H2H. The goal difference of +11 for them and +9 for us would be +10 for both if we win 1-0. Then the points will be equal too, at 24. The only difference then, other than H2H, will be the amount of goals scored (they have the advantage) and conceded (we have the advantage).

Piddlehinton 0–0 Ko-oren (SoT 2-3, S 6-8, Poss 25-75, Pass 64%-89%)
@Piddlehinton
9:00, 15C, windy. Att: ??? (5,500 Ko-orenite supporters)

Goals:
/

Yellow:
/
Red:
/

Subs:
'84 Shiribeshi OUT
    Terathu IN

Chapter 10: Colonies: Arhoren, Taloren and Skyvinduryoren

This is the first of three chapters on Ko-orenite colonies. This chapter is about the three most serene and peaceful ones: Arhoren, the Floral colony, Taloren, the Nautical colony, and Skyvinduryoren, the Distant colony. They are among the least populated of the seven colonies, but have left their impression on Ko-oren and regional politics.

Arhoren
Arhoren, nicknamed the Floral colony, or the Rainbow Islands. The least populated of the seven colonies (with the exception of Skyvinduryoren) is proud of the flowers that bloom all year. The colony is made up of multiple islands, yet one is the most populated one, having some villages and the only settlement that could count as a city. The rest is mainly uninhabited, and these islands are all national parks. The stunning nature of the island is heavily protected, though tourists are allowed everywhere. Littering is forbidden here, and the punishment for littering is among the harshest penalties given in Arhoren. It tends to get some foreign tourists in trouble every year. The population of Arhoren is not extremely interested in what goes on outside of their island. Foreigners are welcome and happily accepted, and the lack of interest for foreign news does not extend much further than political and economic news. The colony is lead by the mayor of the only town of the archipelago, who is elected from a few candidates by a set of political scientists, sociologists, anthropologists, judges, historians and philosophers, according to good meritocratic examples.

The colony sees some rain, all year round. This all provides the optimal climate and weather for the flora and fauna. The islands look like volcanic islands, with all the fertile soil you would expect from volcanic islands, but they were not formed this way. Rivers and streams are all across the islands, and the only dry place is the hills where the city is built.

Taloren
Taloren lies to the south of Ko-oren, separated from Ko-oren by the colony of Arhoren. Taloren is the second most southern colony, with only New Ko-oren more south. The colony is made up of an arc of islands, starting with the small, but populated Moto in the northeast. Next (to the west) is the barely inhabited Aonishi, which is in between the biggest two islands of Taloren. Fuyugoori lies to the west of Aonishi again. Fuyugoori is by far the largest island, and even slightly more populated than Moto. Further west is Umi, with just one major city (Nimo). Umi also has a few smaller islands to its coast, which are considered part of Umi. To the south is Tomoshi, the most remote island of them all. Lastly, the south has another 11 islands, which are all smaller than any island mentioned until now. Combined, they even have a smaller population than Umi (but bigger than Aonishi).

The islands are known for their hospitality and nice climate, and the island is visited throughout the year by tourists who like a laid-back area, with all the things they know from Ko-oren. Like the main country, Taloren is highly environmental, only Taloren places more importance with peoples' personal freedom. All the islands have a culture of their own, of course, and they are based on the water and the mountainous inlands, formed by volcanoes. All volcanoes are dormant, and most have no seismic activity anymore at all. Taloren still has some major cities, which are a lot like Ko-orenite cities in the Eastern part of the country. Hot and humid through the summer, and cold and snowy in winter. The temperature however just drops below 0C in winter, allowing snow to fall, and stays under 35C in summer. There is always some activity on the islands, that are governed by a collection of island counsils. Every island has its own parliament, which are all represented in the parliament by population: Moto, for instance, has a lot more parliamentarians than Kaminari, the southernmost and least populous island.

Ancient culture on the islands was based on building with water: houses on poles, just off the coast, and water clocks are found throughout the archipelago and are still used to some extent. The often fantasy-like view, seeing the water builds, is often used as a typical image for Taloren.

Skyvinduryoren
Lastly, for now, is Skyvinduryoren. Located in the far northeastern corner, this colony is furthest away from any other island of Greater Ko-oren. Skyvinduryoren is a small, almost perfectly round island that is extremely cold throughout the year. Still not as cold as the arctic Thaulandi, but still the temperature does not rise above 17 degrees (C), even in summer. The population lives in the only town, Svaedi, which houses 7.500. Across the entire island, the last census shows that 7.830 people live on Skyvinduryoren. The community is isolated, and does not really have an interest in the rest of the world.

For education, most people can stay on the island, but once someone wants to go to university, they will have to move to Ko-oren. Most people on the island are fishermen, though there is a disproportionate amount of writers who are pretty popular across the area of Greater Ko-oren. The island is not very touristic, but there are some people who go here for their vacation. The local authorities make sure only 1500 tourists are in the country at any given time. People that come to the colony for recreational purposes are not allowed to stay longer than 2 weeks.

by **Ossidiacqua** » Sun Jun 30, 2013 4:51 am

Miserabili: The musical of the Acquan World Cup 65 qualification saga
And yes, that is an excuse to visualise Grand High Cardinal Giocomo Re as Idris Elba in a Pope Hat
An increasingly shameless Les Miserables re-appropriation

SCENE FIFTEEN:
Angel Capobianco sings a moving solo as he contemplates his recent goal drought.

[CAPOBIANCO]
He has scored more than me,
He's buried every chance!
Whilst I have struggle,
And barely had a glance!
Why should I pass the ball?
Why should I help him more?
When I so need the goals,
And have struggled for so long?
If I pass, I am condemned.
If I shoot and miss, I am damned!

I am the master of hundreds of workers.
They all look to me.
How can I abandon them?
How would they live
If I am not free?
If I pass, I am condemned.
If I shoot and miss, I am damned!

Who am I?
Can I be so selfish to my team,
Pretend they do not feel my agony?
These teammates who bear my pain,
Who go to help me every match...

Who am I?
Can I be jealous of Finiguerra,
Pretend I'm happy for his goals?
And must my name until I die
Be never shouted from the stands...

Must I lie?
How can I ever face my fellow men?
How can I ever face myself again?
I am better than this, I know,
Even though I last scored long ago,
Please give me hope when hope was gone,
Please give me strength to journey on...

[He appears in front of the team]
Who am I?
Who am I?!
I am Angel Capobianco!

[He unzips his training jacket to reveal his shirt number tattooed to his chest]
And so 'sandro, you see it's true,
I'm going to score more goals than you!
Who am I?
Capobianco!

by **Blouman Empire** » Sun Jun 30, 2013 5:39 am

THE EMPIRE TIMES

Inquiry Completes Investigation

Head of Inquiry Count Peter Thildon announced today that the inquiry had completed their investigation and that they would be soon releasing their report and recommendations for change. The inquiry was first started after the FFB failed to have the Blouman U21 international team registered to play in the Di Bradini Cup, which resulted in outrage from all members of the footballing community including criticism from the Emperor. While the initial scope of the inquiry was to look into reason for this oversight it soon became apparent that this failure wasn't a one off thing with the FFB Board approving the the expansion of the inquiry to look over the entire structure and and operations of the organisation. Many of the preliminary findings have been kept from the public until the final report have been released, however, a number of key aspects have been reported to the media including the failure and lack of procedures, ad-hoc selection of hosts for tournaments run by the FFB, lack of oversight by senior management and the board, extreme nepotism regarding employment and no clear responsibility chain. Already the inquiry has claimed its first scalp with the resignation of chairman Sir Luke Polking but there are more to be expected once the inquiry releases its final report.

It is expected that the inquiry will not only be releasing its findings but also presenting the FFB Board with a list of recommendations to not only ensure that the FFB enter their international teams on time but also on ways to improve the efficiency of the FFB. In the inquiry's final day Count Thildon made scathing remarks about the FFB stating "I have no idea how football in Bloumany is as strong and successful as it is, if this were a company it would've gone under a long time ago. Make no mistake our report won't be praising the FFB there are many areas that need to be rectified immediately. When we present our report I will be hoping the Board takes everything into consideration". The inquiry are expected to present its findings to the FFB Board within a month

While Blouman football continues to come under pressure on the domestic front on the international front the Blouman team continue their charge towards World Cup qualification with a win a 1-0 win against Bloodridge. The win keeps the Empire in second place with third placed Michael VII only three points behind. For full report see page 86

by **Neo Lemmitania** » Sun Jun 30, 2013 5:49 am

Welcome to another edition of Shemp’s Corner, the only pan-athletic talk show in Neo Lemmitania. I’m Shemp Wooly, the Dean of Neo-Lemmitanian Sports, and joining me for tonight’s programme by contractual demand is Monday Night Rugby’s Gil Lemson.

Gil: ‘ullo.

Shemp: Well, we’re into the second half of the World Cup qualifiers, and the Lemmings started things off with a second win over Hutt River, ranked fifty-fifth in the world. Did you catch the game, Lemson?

Gil: I ain’t flyin’ all the way to ‘utt River again jus’ to watch another blinkin’ football game.

Shemp: This time the game was in Lemmington.

Gil: Still too far to go.

Shemp: Don’t you live in Lemmington?

Gil: I don’t live in the stadium, Shemp. That’s like three blocks from me flat.

Shemp: Did you read about the game in the morning papers?

Gil: The morning wot?

Shemp: Newspapers.

Gil: Oh, those. I thot you were talkin’ about the morning fishpapers.

Shemp: That doesn’t make sense.

Gil: Sure it does. Mebbe they print the scores on the papers they wrap the fish in down at the fishmarket.

Shemp: Why in the world would they do that?

Gil: So people could catch up on the games whilst enjoyin’ their mornin’ fish, Shemp. Seems pretty obvious to me.

Shemp: You eat fish in the morning?

Gil: Sure I do. It’s the breakfast of champions.

Shemp: I think the breakfast of champions is some kind of foreign cereal.

Gil: Wull, in Lemco City, fish is the breakfast of champions.

Shemp: I’ve been in Lemco City many times, and I have never been served fish for breakfast.

Gil: No? Where do you stay in Lemco City?

Shemp: Usually at the Lemmison Hotel on Prospect. Sometimes the Lemco Grande.

Gil: Oh, those are ‘oity-toity places. They prolly give you crumpets an’ ‘eavy cream wit’ strawberries in it for breakfast there.

Shemp: No, just ordinary continental breakfast. Scrambled eggs, lemming sausages, muffins. No fish.

Gil: Nex’ time, try stayin’ at the Moldy Lemming Inn down by the lakefront if you wanna get the authentic Lemco City experience, Shemp. They serve you fish for breakfast an’ lemming goulash for dinner. An’ you get a loverly view of Lakeshore Park an’ the sewage plant.

Shemp: I actually think that I don’t want to get the authentic Lemco City experience, but thanks for the suggestion. So I take it this was all a roundabout way of saying you don’t know the results of yesterday’s game against Hutt River?

Gil: No, I don’t think I’ve ‘eard the score yet.

Shemp: It was a two-one victory for the Lemmings. After substituting Oscar Snellem for Mel Flanders in goal midway through the game against Legalese two weeks ago, Coach Lemster started Snellem yesterday, and he turned in a great performance. The Lemmings got one in each half, by Bing Bingson and Henny Henneman, and Tyler Adams got Hutt River’s goal on a free kick after Mick Mickelson was red carded at seventy minutes.

Gil: Red carded? Wot’s that?

Shemp: When a player commits a minor offense, they get a yellow card. A more serious offense earns a red card and expulsion from the game.

Gil: Wot’d ‘e do to get that?

Shemp: Spiked John Klaus in the right leg.

Gil: Wot?! You’re tellin’ me that Mick Chang drove a spike through somebody’s leg?!

Shemp: Mick Mickelson, I said. And it just means he tackled him spikes first.

Gil: An’ when’s ‘e supposed to use the spikes? After tacklin’ ‘im?

Shemp: Do you even know what I mean by spikes?

Gil: I’m assumin’ ‘e was carryin’ around some knives or somethin’.

Shemp: The players have spikes on the bottoms of their shoes in football. To help provide traction.

Gil: Oh, I see. an’ it’s not allowed to drive the spikes into someone’s leg until after you’ve tackled ‘em?

Shemp: No, it’s never allowed to drive the spikes into someone’s leg. And Mickelson did it intentionally to Klaus. Klaus had to be carried off the field.

Gil: Must ‘ave ‘urt.

Shemp: Undoubtedly. So Mickelson will be out for the game next week against Krytenia.

Gil: I think you ‘ave that backwards, Shemp. This fellow Klaus will be out. ‘e’s the one with the spike driven through ‘is leg.

Shemp: No, Mickelson will be out. He misses one game as a result of the offense.

Gil: That seems a little unfair. All Mick did was use ‘is spikes in the most efficient manner possible.

Shemp: Well, those are the rules of international football.

Gil: Imagine if you ‘ad to miss a game every time you knocked someone out of a rugby match!

Shemp: Well, rugby’s a different sport.

Gil: Tell me about it.

Shemp: Maybe when we return from these important messages.

by **Omarios** » Sun Jun 30, 2013 6:21 am

Omarios Out-Classed by the upper class
As everybody knows, Bears Armed are in the top 15 teams in the world, so a defeat by them is nothing weird at all, however the nice thing is that, Rengong and Sendev, were able to make the game a 2-4 loss rather than a 0-4 loss, Chevnovski, the Coach was impressed by the fact that they almost had the game finished as a draw, until Bears Armed scored two more goals in the 75th and 83rd minutes, he also said that if his team played this way then they would be able to defeat a whole lot more teams than expected, Omarios which is unranked currently awaits its ranking to be shown, whilst also fighting its doomed way to qualify for the WC which is highly unlikely due to the team sitting at 9th position before Tantamir, which sits at the last place, the team is currently looking to do good in the next match.

by **Sandwich Territories** » Sun Jun 30, 2013 6:38 am

WHAT THE *&$#?

These were the words said by MF Zach Banks, who, while in the hospital, learned that Sandwich had taken 1st place in Group 11. People around the Territories were seen partying in the streets, and some even launched fireworks. Nobody would've guessed that a team like Sandwich, the 5th ranked team in group 11, would ever have more points than Osarius or West Angola, but for today, anyways, they do. However, the team isn't oblivious to the fact that it is only by 1 point, and manager Max Bellerd has stared that they "must remember his speech from a few days ago". Yes, the team and I know we are in first place, but we know that if it isn't the end of Matchday 18, then we have little reason to celebrate. Look, the organization had some excitement at first, but now reality has struck our group. Frankly, I'm rather surprised at the maturity of our younger players, as they understand that this is not the end, and we still have some tough matches ahead of us".

Sandwich Territories 1
Kericia 0

GOALS:
Havalotti: 68' (SAN)

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