He leant in towards the microphone.
"FrieEEEEK! ... "
The grating sound of feedback rung throughout the park. Lassus shot an accusatory glance at the groundskeeper. He merely shrugged, slammed his fist atop the audio equipment and gave a thumbs-up. Lassus cleared his throat and began again.
"Friends, Sportspersons and Delegates. May I be the first to welcome you to Paradystopia!"
Lassus' dramatic pause allowed for a polite ripple of applause to gently echo around the stadium.
"We all know why we're here! To witness the spectacle that is ..."
With a practiced flourish, he pressed a large red button on the top corner of his lectern. There was a muted 'pop' as two small fireworks dispensed a pitiful quantity of glittery confetti and a large plastic banner unfurled itself. The hastily-painted sign read
First World Wol'Bol Chanpionships
Again, Lassus scowled at the groundskeeper but this time he wasn't looking.
"Yes! The First World Wol'Bol CHAM-pionships!"
Again, a polite ripple of applause although this time a solitary spectator felt the need to shout 'Woo!'
"From the selected atheletes from the participating nations of Paradystopia, The Babbage Islands, Lymantatia and Darmen, the groups have been drawn. There will be three groups of five. The top two competitors will proceed to the knockout rounds as well as the two third-placed participants with the best record. This will be judged primarily on number of wins, then points difference, then points scored and finally, a coin toss. The Groups are as follows:
Group A
Freddi Festagarter (PDT)
Mannix O'Brien (DAR)
Alicia Garcia (TBI)
Jane Willard (LYM)
Ruadh Daly (DAR)
Group B
Julia Rios (TBI)
Flossy (PDT-B)
Nigel (PDT-B)
Mary Schulz (LYM)
Karl 'Klub-Foot' Hart (PDT)
and
Group C
Anrai O'Boyle (DAR)
Gyuliana de Xardet (PDT)
Linda Williams (TBI)
Anne-Marie Hampshire (LYM)
Dolly (PDT-B)
The Group stage schedule will fall thusly:
Day 1 - 1 bye, 2v5, 3v4 - (27th Nov)
Day 2 - 1v2, 3v5, 4 bye - (28th Nov)
Day 3 - 1v3, 2 bye, 4v5 - (29th Nov)
Day 4 - 1v4, 2v3, 5 bye - (30th Nov)
Day 5 - 1v5, 3 bye, 2v4 - (1st Dec)
and the Knockout Stages
Day 6 - Quarter-Finals - (3rd Dec)
Day 7 - Semi-Finals - (5th Dec)
Day 8 - Final and Third Place Playoff - (7th Dec)
[going OOC now ...]
RP cut off will occur at approximately 23:59 GMT on the given date. RP will be scored between 0 and 1. There will be a 20% effect on RP bonuses, using an absolute bonus formula. Bonuses will be awarded to teams as opposed to individual participants.
[back IC again ...]
Thank you everyone for participating and may I wish you luck in the tournament. Rest up, for tomorrow, The Wol'Bol begins!"
Lassus slammed his hand down upon a second red button. Something in front of the podium went 'fssp'. The big roman candle finale had obviously got too wet in the rain, which had now increased in intensity. Flashing an awkward smile at the dwindling audience, he made his exit. To a restaurant, he thought as he had a strange craving for something he'd noticed earlier, marketted as 'Bona Fide Darmenian'