Campionato Esportiva III - IC Thread

[Wednesday Evening]

Wednesday Hooters
Coverage of Campionato Esportiva III

The Owls snatched victory from the grasp of a dominant Apox side in the closing minutes of their international debut at Campionato Esportiva III in Cyborg Holland. Reserve winger Toddles Wilson of unheralded Spring Lawe, in late for player-manager Trevor Fantham, made the most of a brief appearance with a breakaway run up the left flank. Jarvis Staniels made a valiant attempt to break up the play, but could not be in two places at once as Wilson found Fulwood's Derek Quigley open in the middle for a clean shot and score.

With a win under their belts the Owls approach their remaining matches with solid hopes instead of vague dreams. Their next opponents, Englonia, went down before an experienced Free University eleven by 4-0 in their opener. If the Owls can capitalize for three more points they'll be well-placed to deal with a potential third-match onslaught.

[Licentiapacisterra]

It was a party atmosphere in the Licentian dressing room after their opening game 4-1 over Free Swiss States in Kubistvis. A hat trick for Jack Kerr, with the 37-year-old pointing to the sky in honour of his teammate for every single one, with Dylan Knight adding a fourth late on, with one of his signature curling free kicks from 20 yards out. The only black spot on the scorecard for the Cyan-and-Gold was a single goal for the Swiss, snuck past Nathan Gardiner-Stewart by the head of Trayker, at a poorly defended set piece.

“You alright Nathan ??” The hat trick hero, and one of Nathan’s closest friends, found his former boss in the corner of the dressing room, in a much less celebratory mood than the rest of the squad.

“I’m fine mate, honestly.” Nathan was quite obviously sick of people asking if he was alright. “Just pissed off at myself for letting in that goal. I’m better than that, I know I am, you know I am, Tom knows I am. I was just thinking about Alex too much after your second goal.”

“Oh, so you’re blaming me, are you ??” Jack said, with a look of false indignation on his face.

“No, no, I wasn’t...” Nathan put his head in his hands. Nothing seemed to be going right for him today.

“Mate, relax. I’m taking the piss.”

Nathan gave a fake chuckle. “Sorry Jack, I’m just not all there at the minute.”

“And nobody blames you for it Nath.” Jack rubbed the back of his neck. “I’ve got to be honest, I’ve got genuine respect for how quickly you’ve managed to get back into the game. A lot of people in this room would be in a mess if they were in your situation. I know I would.”

“Thanks Jack,” Nathan sighed. “I just can’t keep my head all there at the minute. I’ve got Luke to thank for the fact I’m even here. It was him that got me off my arse, not my own courage.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Jack said. “You’ve got back to this level so quickly. You’re playing at the sort of level that could keep you in the squad for the World Cup.”

“Nah, I’m not staying. I’m dedicating the Campionato to Alex, playing a season with Celtic doing the same thing, and then I’m going back into retirement. My bones are aching just after this game.”

“That’s not what I meant. You could, if you wanted to.”

“Thanks Jack. That means a lot.”

“It’s the truth mate.”

“Thanks. I’m going to take an ice bath.” Nathan wandered off, and Jack smiled, before wandering to Ellis and whipping him with a towel.

“Bastard !!” Ellis shouted.

“How ‘bout you do something about it Skip ??”

“I’ll fuckin’ kill you Kerr !!” The two men chased each other around the room, towels in hand.

[Byfugland]

Formation: 4-4-2
Head Coach: Hank Boudreau, Minister of Sports

Byfugland Jets Roster

Starters

GK: Roy DiGiovanni
LB: Christian Rolando
CB: Ray Green
RB: Stefan Marx
LM: Craig Donnelly
LCM: Fernando Consuela
CM: Brian Bogart
RCM: Taylor "Cookie" Cooke
RM: Agustin Zarate
LS: Justin Byfuglien (C)
RS: Mason Cuellar

Substitutes

GK: Jake O'Hoolihan
CB: Kevin Kirkendall
RB: Zeke Myron
LM: Leo Regehr
CM: Phil Costello
CM: Corey Raskopolous
ST: Davis Benny

Choose my goalscorers? Yes
Godmod scoring events? No
RP injuries to my players? No
Godmod injuries to my players? No
Hand out yellow cards to my players? Yes
Hand out red cards to my players? Yes (Don't go crazy)
Godmod other events? No

[Islo Aiz ens Islo Dorne]

(Only a short one)

Islo Aiz ens Islo Dorne - Not a good start
Written by Sandy Holland

When referring to football, the name Islo Aiz ens Islo Dorne isn't likely to come up after the events of today, despite the initial preparation of purchasing various foreign players, such as Baptism of Fire star Shouta Burton. It started fairly easily for the team, who were attempting a massive defensive game, similar to the ones played in the 48th Baptism of Fire. But with the new team, Shouta Burton wasn't able to comply with their methods of play. Often acting on himself, without help from the team. This, along with the poor foreign practice only aided to their failure today.

As for the game, the first half actually heralded a chance for Shouta Burton, with him storming down the pitch on the 37th Minute, skipping past potential threats, only to through it away on the strike, when it bounced off the post, rolling into the enemy teams position, where Alexander Schmidt was able to claim it. Taking it through easily to Islo Aiz ens Islo Dorne's side, striking the ball in and scoring a single point. It was set to stay this way for the rest of the game, with Aiz-Dorne going completely defensive, attempting to strike only once after half time. Unfortunately, this left the rest of the game at a stalemate, neither the Islanders nor the Kiwi's could score. It ended after a boring second half at 1 nil against the Islanders.

The team has commented that they have planned to make an improvement, disappointed at their performance. Although, it is unexpected that the team will be Sakhovelo and will not be a good place to make their name.

[Boring Paradise]

Is it all right if I do the rosters and RPs from this nation.

An image taking the football team from Starbladiya to Sakhovelo in a private jet. As they were at thethe DBC 24 when they lost in against Thatius in the Round of 16

Are U-21 lads are ready and confident for this competition. The Manager have spoken to them and they will have their support like usual.

Didn't have time to do the actual updated roster so I am using this Roster from my DBC 24 Cup

Boring Paradise's Campionato Esportiva III team

Manager: Matthew Johnstone(age 33)
Assistant Manager: Andrew Whitehouse (age 36)
Coach: Brian McFalon (age 43)
Assistant Coach: Raiyaan McCloud (age 47)

Pos - No - Name                    - Age - Club Joined
GK  - 01 - Charlie Haslem          - 20  - Bartholomew FC

DEF - 02 - Lewis Homewood          - 17  - Empilot City United
DEF - 03 - Jamie Gallagher         - 21  - Drafters United
DEF - 04 - Nathan Haslem           - 17  - Samcastle United
DEF - 05 - Henry Roadster          - 20  - Samcastle United

MID - 06 - Samuel Wong             - 19  - Empilot City United
MID - 07 - Kevin Harris            - 14  - Bartholomew FC
MID - 08 - Alistair Adams          - 18  - Bartholomew FC
MID - 09 - Hishaam Ali Jr          - 14  - Para Wanderer's FC

FWD - 10 - Sameer Jaklim Jr        - 11  - Tagud Wanderer
FWD - 11 - Raiyaan Malik Jr        - 12  - Empilot City United

Bench
GK  - 12 - Vikram Ahmad            - 17  - Para Wanderer's FC

DEF - 13 - Justin Kingsley-Smith   - 17  - Para Wanderer's FC
DEF - 14 - Robert Johnston         - 12  - Para Wanderer's FC
DEF - 15 - Ben Collins             - 20  - Bartholomew FC
DEF - 16 - Archie Elder            - 18  - Empilot City United

MID - 17 - Suyog Adams             - 17  - Samcastle United
MID - 18 - Yaser Rehman            - 20  - Samcastle United
MID - 19 - Alex Howard             - 19  - Bartholomew FC
MID - 20 - Michael Hunter          - 20  - Bartholomew FC

FWD - 21 - Paul Bell               - 19  - Samcastle United
FWD - 22 - Thomas Rispin           - 17  - Oldcastle United
FWD - 23 - Jonathen Webb           - 15  - Prime Para United
FWD - 24 - Jack Homewood           - 21  - Icurus FC 36

Choose my goalscorers: Y (Either of my two starting strikers are allowed to score)
Godmod scoring events: Y
RP injuries to my players: N
Godmod injuries to my players: N
Hand out yellow cards to my players: Y (Only one more than your team and no double yellow to one player)
Hand out red cards to my players: N
Godmod other events: Y

Style Modifiers: +3.1

Expect an RP after the next MD.

[Sakhovelo]

Second cutoff of the tournament, right here!

[Sakhovelo]

Matchday 2 in Sakhovelo

Group A
Cyborg Holland vs. Equatorial Sarmen
Kubistvis Olympic Stadium, Kubistvis
68.110 attendants
[1] - [0]

Apeotish vs. Slembana
Ok'ros Medinare Stadium, Tbilino
40.000 attendants
[0] - [0]

- GROUP A                                             Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Cyborg Holland                                        2   2  0  0    2   0  +2    6
2 Slembana                                              2   1  1  0    2   0  +2    4
3 Apeotish                                              2   0  1  1    0   1  −1    1
4 Equatorial Sarmen                                     2   0  0  2    0   3  -3    0

* Cyborg Holland has secured its presence in the knockout round. If they win the next match (vs. Slembana), they'll secure the 1st place of the group.
* Equatorial Sarmen cannot advance to the next round.

Group C
Licentiapacisterra vs. 19th Century Beards
Kubistvis Major Stadium, Kubistvis
40.000 attendants (Full-housed, since 30,000 tickets were not sold because the stadium is being rearranged for the OoK)
[0] - [1]

Free Swiss States vs. Qalfen
Gauro Romelashvili Stadium, Batuni
28.000 attendants (The FSS team has become a running joke around Sakhovelo)
[0] - [0]

- GROUP C                                             Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 19th Century Beards                                   2   2  0  0    3   0  +3    6
2 Licentiapacisterra                                    2   1  0  1    4   2  +2    3
3 Qalfen                                                2   0  1  1    0   2  −2    1
4 Free Swiss States                                     2   0  1  1    1   4  −3    1

* 19th Century Beards has secured its presence in the knockout round. Their position in the group will depend on both matches of MD3.
* Qalfen needs a win over Licentiapacisterra to advance directly to the knockout round.

Group E
Asadur vs. Northern Sunrise Islands
Simghera Arena, Kartlos
55.000 attendants (The stadium was giving away free Mrt'inos)
[0] - [2]

Westfield House vs. Swyftlandre
Kubistvis Olympic Stadium, Kubistvis
70.000 attendants (The Sakhoveli population is really interested in the Swyftlandian team after several weird events)
[1] - [1]

- GROUP E                                             Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Northern Sunrise Islands                              2   2  0  0    4   0  +4    6
2 Asadur                                                2   1  0  1    2   3  −1    3
3 Westfield House                                       2   0  1  1    2   3  −1    1
4 Swyftlandre                                           2   0  1  1    1   3  −2    1

* Northern Sunrise Islands has secured its presence in the knockout round.
* Swyftlandre needs a win over Asadur to advance directly to the knockout round; unless Westfield House wins over NSI.

Group G
Cyprardeos vs. Dandillis
Bagratuni Mountain Arena, Khobeliti
22.000 attendants (The Dandillis' bunnies are driving everyone crazy)
[1] - [1]

Bongo Johnson vs. Zingolar
Kubistvis Olympic Stadium, Kubistvis
50.115 attendants (The people in Kubistvis has started to fill the venues of the Open of Kubistvis)
[1] - [0]

- GROUP G                                             Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Bongo Johnson                                         2   2  0  0    5   1  +4    6
2 Dandillis                                             2   1  1  0    3   2  +1    4
3 Cyprardeos                                            2   0  1  1    2   5  −3    1
4 Zingolar                                              2   0  0  2    1   3  −2    0

* Bongo Johnson has secured its presence in the knockout round. If they win the next match (vs. Dandillis), they'll secure the 1st place of the group.
* Zingolar cannot advance to the next round.

[Swyftlandre]

Kubistvis Olympic Stadium

Finnbarr Lachlan

It finally looked good for the Swyftlandian team, the Red Cards had been pardoned and Finnbarr was cleared to play the game against Asadur. But for now he was just to sit and relax and watch the game play out.

"So, what's the plan Finnbarr, who are you going to kill today?" Suké said
"I'm just heading to the Snacks Bar, you want anything?" Finnbarr ignored the Shinigami, instead directing his attention to his Father (whom had flown out after the affair on the second match) because as fearful as Suké was, he made a interesting companion and Finnbarr decided he would mess with him.
"I SAID, WHO ARE YOU GOING TO KILL?"
"Just get me a Coke mate" His father said
"Alright"
"ARE YOU IGNORING ME, YOU BRAT!"
Finnbarr grinned as he listened to the Shinigami ranting about how he'd 'write his name in his Death Note right now', he must said that at least a hundred times already.
"I'LL DO IT!!! YOU JUST WATCH ME!"

Eventually he got out of sight of the crowd and walked to the Snacks Bar, buying a packet of Crisps and Two Cokes before walking out further, out of sight of the food vendor.
"So Suké, you want to know who dies at my hand today?"
"Now you listen to me, how nice of you!" Suké chuckled angrily
"Think about it Suké, if you think I'll answer every question you have with everyone listening, then your a fool."
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A FOOL!"
"I'd appreciate it if you kept your voice down as well, quite frankly, it's annoying."
"YOU DO KNOW YOU'RE TALKING TO A GOD OF D-"
Finnbarr raised his finger to his lips, making a hushing sound, He better be bluffing about the Death Note, or else I'm almost certainly dead
"Now listen, I thought it would be too risky to bring the Death Note here today, but I've got a sheet and I plan to test the capabilities..."
"DON'T TELL ME TO SHUT UP!!!! NOW, TELL ME WHO YOU'RE GOING TO KILL!"
"No, you tell me, the Food Vendors around the corner isn't he, he probably heard everything I said" Finnbarr scowled and Suké gave a swift glance, before nodding to confirm, "Is this really how it's going to be Mr. Food Vendor? I left you a tip and this is how you repay me"
Instead he heard the sound of running, It's such a shame, Mr. Food Vendor. But it's your fault, I'm afraid...
Finnbarr drew out the the Death Note page, then wrote down the name of 'Nikoloz Eduard.'' He'd made sure to find out the names of all the staff at the game today...it had been a stretch, but it was to pay off.
"Suké, listen here. No-one else dies today, I've quenched my thirst for murder, but if what I have planned works out...than I have to take this slowly."
"What are you planning Finnbarr?"
"Heh, you'll see soon enough, Suké"

Suké

"Heh, you'll see soon enough, Suké"
Suké laughed with great passion, "Oh Finnbarr, you are such an interesting creature. I've decided to keep you alive, at least for now..."
"That's nice..."

Finnbarr then ran back into the stadium, making sure to drop the Coke's and Crisps, What's he doing now?
As Suké followed along, he observed the Food Vendor, lying dead near the door of the Stadium, it seems no-one had noticed him yet, but if he'd made it into the stadium before dying, then whatever Finnbarr had planned was likely to be jeopardized.

"HELP! HELP!" Finnbarr screamed, "THE FOOD VENDOR, I THINK HE'S DEAD, HE JUST HAD A HEART ATTACK!"
"What the hell are you doing Finnbarr, acting all innocent like that?"

The game ended pretty swiftly after that, called off at 73 minutes because of the death, turning into a mass panic that resulted in seven more deaths. Of course, Suké laughed, This was the most interesting match I've ever seen.
Suké couldn't see what all the hype was about, what could come from watching sweaty men kick a ball about, maybe he should introduce them to the old Mayan Handball*, now they were interesting.

Shortly after the match concluded, Finnbarr was brought in for an interview post-match, to talk about the 'Swyftlandre Curse',
"We're all grieving for our loss back at Swyftlandre headquarters and we plan to have a big, public funeral for Ciar and Séamus when we return back home. But we can't let this disaster stop our progress in the Campionato Esportiva" He paused, then laughed, "Our sponsors would kill us."

Hotel Room 301

Finnbarr Lachlan

Finnbarr decided that tonight he'd stay with his dad in the Happy Nights motel, his dad had brought the room for two after the price was lowered dramatically, following their name being soiled by the Free Swiss States.

"Thank you." Finnbarr's father placed down the phone then turned to him, "Anyway, make yourself at home. The train leaves at 8am oh and here's the passcode, booking trains over the phone, whatever next?"...Finnbarr rolled his eyes as he accepted the six-letter code that he'd scribbled onto the back of a piece of paper, "But I'll tell you what...the apples in Sakhoveli. Delicious."
Suké's ears perked at the sound of the word,
"APPLES! FINNBARR, I WANT AN APPLE!"
You sound like a fucking child Suké "Could I have one please."

His father threw him a apple then Finnbarr took the apple into the bathroom, to which his father shouted at him,
"Eating in the bathroom! I thought I raised you better than that..."
"Sorry Dad." He shouted back

Finnbarr then chucked the apple into the air, with Suké jumping at it as it fell.
"No privacy Suké?" The shinigami only caught his meaning by the time Finnbarr had pulled his trousers down.
"Uh...uh...uh..." Is this what it takes to scare a Shinigami?
"Just turn around..."
"Uh...sure" As Finnbarr was pissing, the Shinigami asked a new question, "I can't stand to wait anymore Finnbarr? What's your plan Finnbarr?"
Finnbarr zipped up his trousers, then answered,
"First up, could you wait outside next time I want to piss." The Shinigami nodded, finishing his apple, "As for what I'm planning, ever since that war with the Union Isle, no one came to help us, even when we were destroyed and graveling, those rotten bastard, it's made me consider how imperfect the world is. The only perfection in this world, is the people of Swyftlandre, how the rest of the world has been tainted. It can't be a coincident that the Death Note fell to me, I have to be the one to purge this world of the Darkness, then the world can be re-built" Finnbarr laughed, "And I'll do anything it takes, I'll plummet the planet into a new world war. You just watch me!"
"Even I have to admit, that's below even my ethics. But what's your reason."
"I told you, no one came to our aid..."
"NO! THE REAL REASON!"
"Fine, you want the real reason...no one else knows this, but back in the war, I was...inspired. My Mother had died in a Child Birth and my Father murdered the night before the attack, shot, the only one in that battalion to die! But the Union Islanders weren't satisfied, they had bombed San Swyft, but they were unsatisfied, they destroyed OUR whole village with a single strike. Everyone was dead, EVERYONE!" He punched the door, "I...I was the only survivor...every one I knew, they died. I was only five then, Suké, not old enough to realize the importance of this war...this disaster. But now I think about it, I've decided that it's fate. I was the only survivor and now I find the Death Note, the heavens have blessed me and I won't let them down!"
"Then tell me this, who is the man you call Father?"
"I slept on the streets for two weeks, until that man out there, Mr. Thomas Lachlan picked me up off the street and raised me as his own. I don't know my true surname. Anyway, he was the one that raised me as his own, he gave me my interest in football that got me here today."
"Right, Finnbarr one last question? Why not just start a war? You have a Death Note, why not use it?"
"Because there's no guarantee the correct alliances will form and as Football has a cult following in Esportiva and pretty much the rest of the world, it's a perfect platform for racism. Weaken ties through cultural racism, grown in Football. But it can't happen suddenly either, I have to make the rest of the world come to hate Swyftlandre enough not to support them during war. Secluded, we will have no side in conflict, we will be the only survivors of a world war. Today's events were just an experiment, one death was enough to make the pitch erupt into violence."

Suké

"Finnbarr! You are brilliant, I want to kiss you!" There's no way he'd accept the eye deal, not right now...but either way, he wanted to see how this would play out. A world in the face of Finnbarr! How...scary.

---

*A game similar to handball, where they would attempt to score the ball through a hoop, the loser would more often than not be used as Human Sacrifice.

[Cyborg Holland]

Group B
Sakhovelo vs Islo Aiz ens Islo Dorne
@ Olympic Stadium (62,769)
[6] - [2]

Neuseeland vs Byfugland
@ Eindhoven Sports Arena (34,000)
[3] - [2]

Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Sakhovelo                  2    2   0   0     9    3   +6     6
2 Neuseeland                 2    2   0   0     4    2   +2     6
3 Byfugland                  2    0   0   2     3    6   −3     0
4 Islo Aiz ens Islo Dorne    2    0   0   2     2    7   −5     0

Group D
Free University vs Apox
@ New Amzterdam Arena (83,402)
[1] - [0]

Englonia vs Wednesday Evening
@ Ocean Gateway (47,639)
[0] - [1]

Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Free University         2    2   0   0     5    0   +5     6
2 Wednesday Evening       2    2   0   0     2    0   +2     6
3 Apox                    2    0   0   2     0    2   −2     0
4 Englonia                2    0   0   2     0    5   −5     0

Group F
THRILLEDGE vs Dropsophiland
@ New Amzterdam Arena (83,402)*
[2] - [1]

Earo vs Taijan
@ Ocean Gateway (47, 639)*
[0] - [2]

Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 THRILLEDGE              2    2   0   0     4    1   +3     6
2 Dropsophiland           2    1   0   1     3    2   +1     3
3 Taijan                  2    1   0   1     2    2    0     3
4 Earo                    2    0   0   2     0    4   −4     0

*Double header, two games in a rowat the same stadium

[Apox]

(OOC: Supersonic is a dual themed program. The first half is an email program that is widely used in Apox. The second half is like a fusion between MSN/Group Chat/Twitter/Instant Messaging where you and your mates create a room to chat. You can also "Follow" people or things, that will automatically post into your chat room. This is a random chat room of a bunch of football mad mates during the Apox vs Free University.)

<Booting up room>
<Gavin1532 online, Fred_MATE online, Jonno online, LadsOnTour (Steve) online, Jessie online.>

APXSportsUpdate: And the stadium is filling up nicely here at the New Amzterdam Arena in Cyborg Holland. There is now only 20 minutes before kick-off starts for the second Campionato Esportiva match of this campaign, Apox against Free University.
Gavin1532: We've gotta win this to be in with a chance really.
Fred_MATE: Of course we're gonna win it, we're f***ing Apox for f***s sake!
Jessie: Why am I friends with this ape?
Gavin1532: Nah, these guys are the tough team in the group, they've done one of these before, and their on top form after last match.
Fred_MATE: Piss off the lot of you.

APXSportsUpdate: And now the teams are heading out into the center in front of this packed crowd.
LadsOnTour: HUZZAH!
Jessie: They haven't done anything yet though!?!
LadsOnTour: It don't matter, they're awesome!

APXSportUpdate: That's kick-off, with a very aggresive start by Free University, our guys immediately needing to defend, but that's good covering play by Will Fich and Ken Rickwright who come swooping back.
Jonno: COME ON TEAM!
Fred_MATE: We need a win, NOW

APXSportsUpdate: A nice shot there by Dravid Scott, trying to curl that one in and tease the goalie out of the way. However, saved.
Gavin1532: It's no good taking shots if you can't score.
Jessie: Stop being so pessimistic.

APXSportsUpdate: And now its the University players who are on the attack, they come surging forwards, (cos we haven't seen that before - ) and once again, Apox concede after a lack of defense lets them down.
Fred_MATE: YOU F***ING WHAT????
LadsOnTour: I don't understand why this could happen.
Jonno: Neither do I Steve.
Fred_MATE: WHY CAN WE JUST NOT WIN??? WHAT IS WRONG WITH OUR TEAM??
Gavin1532: Ok let's just calm down mate...
Fred_MATE: I WILL NOT CALM DOWN AFTER WATCHING THIS PILE OF DONKEY S***. OH< AND NOW THEY'RE SHOWING THE F***ING REPLAY, WELL CHEERS

LadsOnTour: Awkward silence.
Gavin1532: Shut up.

APXSportsUpdate: Some more positive play now as the first half begins to come to an end, as Fran Gracie whips a corner in which shoots just over the net after a Ken Rickwright header.
Jonno: Please excuse me while I kill myself out of exasperation.
Fred_MATE: @LadsOnTour: can you please stop tickling me.
LadsOnTour: Nah...
Gavin1532: What?! Fred are you at Steve's house?
Fred_MATE: Yeah.
Gavin1532: And are you just sitting there, chatting to each other on this?
Fred_MATE: Yeah.
Gavin1532: You people are so strange.

APXSportsUpdate: And they've come back on the field now, no substitutions made as of yet.
LadsOnTour: GO FOR GOAL, GO FOR GOAL!
Jonno: What else are they gonna aim for though?
LadsOnTour: No comment.

APXSportsUpdate: A University player was offside there, the play is brought back for a free-kick, to be taken by Ken Rickwright.
Gavin1532: Why would you make Ken take the free kick? GET HIM IN THE BOX!!! Great player, useless at free-kicks.
Fred_MATE: Ok, we don't need the Gavin does stats show again.
Gavin1532: Hrmph.

APXSportsUpdate: A very close shot there by Marlon Vetta, however the University keeper kept that one out.

APXSportsUPdate: A last ditch attempt for Apox now, Dravid Scott giving it everything he had, however, it was not enough to beat the keeper. The game finishes 1-0 to Free University. Apox can only qualify by Play-off now, and it is looking increasingly likely that our campaign will finish after the next game against the ex-Englonia football team.
Fred_MATE: BULLS***
<Fred_MATE is offline>
Gavin1532: He clearly wasn't happy about that then.
LadsOnTour: It's all good though.
Gavin1532: No, it's not.
<Jessis is offline>
<Jonno is offline>
<Gavin1532 is offline>
LadsOnTour: Dicks.

APXSportsUpdate: Team Sheet from the Game:
GK - Jarvis Staniels (c)
RD - Jack Forster
CD - Chris Neguwa
LD - Fronden Abel
RM - Olim Benzari
CM - Ken Rickwright sub John Carpenter 67'
CM - Will Fich
LM - Fran Gracie
ST - Chris Maarsden
ST - Dravid Scott
ST - Marlon Vetta

[Northern Sunrise Islands]

DE PLACA
New Look, Same Price!

CAMPIONATO ESPORTIVA III
Leaders clash ends with NSI on top.
The face off of the leaders from Group E, NSI pulled another two to nothing over the Knights of Asadur, thus qualyfing the Marills for the next round of the Campionato Esportiva III, just needing to play the next match to decide whether they will be first or last. This score was built by timing, mainly. During the first half, both Bonapart and Crawford kept a lot of pressure, but Sir Nicholas of the Order of the Head of Boar did a very nice job on defending. Sadly, Sir Benjamin of the Order of the Castle of Black, who acted pretty great defensively, let a foul go on their field, as he tackled Xene. Carvalho kicks it... And GOAL! NSI opens up. In the second half, Asadur came back even stronger, throwing attacks from now and then, most of them from Sir Mark of the Order of the Shield of Checks, nothing that would scare Cunnington. In one of these shots, Cunnington threw to Redwing, who made a far away cross to the front, something normal, right? Actually, no. Considering the ball ended up being in the front of Carvalho, who just lobbed the ball in the front of the goalie, thus reaching 2-0. Great party from the NSI's supporters as they reach the second round already, just having to play against Westfield House for fun, supposedly. Asadur isn't slown down, though their match against the cursed Swyftlandre will be a dispute for the other slot at the Second Round, even though Westfield House will also play for it if they win against the Marills.

---

DREAMS OF A GIRL
The blog of future soccer superstar Namine Nagatomo

September 24, 2015

Wow, what a match, people! Jeez, I never expected that the people from Samba would appear in the stadium that much! Guess they were in the Carnival season last match, but anyways, it was incredible. It also helped that Carvalho made two great goals and they were giving free Mrt'inis! This one will have to be a small post, though, Eduardo is "slightly drunk", singing "Singing in the Rain" with an open umbrella, only in underpants in the lobby of the hotel. Guess I'll have to knock him out to take him to his room... Jeez, never thought that those stuff could get you so drunk and that he could be such a talented dancer while drunk! Bye, guys. See ya next time as we face Westfield to get our first place!

[Slembana]

The Slembana Times: Bore draw in Campionato Esportiva

By Peter Whiteman, chief football reporter at the Ok'ros Medinare Stadium, Tbilino, Sakhovelo (attendance 40,000)

In our second match in the group stage of the third Campionato Esportiva, we have drawn 0-0 with Apeotish - making our progress into the the round of 16 of the tournament in the balance.

The best chance of the first half fell to our star striker, Val Kylx, who saw a curling shot from 15 yards gobbled up by the Apeotidan goalie. Other good chances of the first half included Eddie Barlow, our other striker, firing wide in the 24th minute, Apeotish's star striker hitting the post with a volley, and their star playmaker hitting the crossbar with a resplendent free-kick.

The second half almost began perfectly for us, with Kylx smashing just wide from 30 yards, with merely 20 seconds of the half gone. Good work from Apeotish's winger almost set up their star striker, who saw a consumable shot saved by our goalkeeper, Toby Gapman. Substitute left-winger Javo Jexa, who came on in the 64th minute for Yuppë Tárnix, then ran down the wing, before unleashing a shot from a tight angle which hit the back post and rebounded back into play.

With time ticking away furiously, Apeotish's other winger stormed down the wing with just 15 minutes to go, before crossing into the box, where Apeotish's other striker was waiting. The player thrusted his head towards the ball, which was palmed away by Gapman. Kylx then tried to lob to Apeotidan goalkeeper, only to see the ball hit the crossbar.

In the last minute, with the game still delicately poised, Gavin Stockwell, our captain, played a short ball into Don Adobe. Adobe passed it back to Stockwell, who lobbed the ball into Follin Maxet. Maxet did a heel chop, before passing the ball down the to Jexa on the left-wing. Jexa teased Apeotish's right-back, before crossing the ball into the box. It missed Kylx, but found Barlow, who flicked the ball up into the air, before volleying the ball brilliantly towards goal with a bicycle kick. The acrobatic shot was missed by Apeotish's goalkeeper, only to hit the goalkeeper's left-hand post, before bouncing back into play. The referee's final whistle sounded seconds later, and boos from our fans rained down on the players. It looked like we would easily beat Apeotish on paper, but football matches aren't played on paper, and we have drawn 0-0. We still have a good chance of reaching the second round, but we are also in danger of failing to qualify for the next round.

[Qalfen]

The Qalfen Chronicle: Bore draw with Free Swiss States leaves us without a Campionato Esportiva goal

Two games, no goals for our national football team at the tournament

By Edward Zanther, chief football reporter at the Gauro Romelashvili Stadium, Batuni, Sakhovelo (attendance 28,000)

We have drawn our second game in the third Campionato Esportiva 0-0 with Free Swiss States – a result which leaves us without a goal in the competition so far, never mind the tournament. We still have one game left in the group stage left – which is against Licentiapacisterra, who are one of the giants of Esportivan football. We’ll have to beat them to secure direct progression into the second round – which is a gargantuan task. Anyway, let’s get on with the match itself.

The best chance of the first half fell to our star striker, Thomas Xandélo, who saw a low shot palmed away by the Swiss goalkeeper Nicholas Jayet. The first chance of the first half fell to FSS’ star striker, Eric Trayker, who saw a scissor kick flashed away by our goalkeeper, James Vax, in the 1st minute. Another one of our star strikers, Moe Lutterton, hit the bar in the 13th minute, before Xandélo’s big chance came and gone after 24 minutes. Gordon du-Lusavik, the Swiss right-winger, then curled wide of Vax’s right-hand post, before Homer Gúlitha, our captain, saw a good header saved by Jayet after 44 minutes. This was the last big action of the half.

The second half started with A. Fonti, FSS’ other striker, seeing an optimistic 35-yard effort saved by Vax. The save was run-of-the-mill, as Vax only had to dive down low to hold it in his hands. Aaron Young-Banks, yet another striker of ours, saw a free-kick tipped around the post by Jayet in the 52nd minute, before McAndrew Stoke-Rafferton came on for Innes McInnes in the 59th minute, changing our formation to an ultra-attacking 3-3-4. Stoke-Rafferton was involved in the action straight away, being felled in the box by Maddie Kytle, who was given his marching orders. This was our second penalty in two games. Alvin Vale stepped up to take it. However, despite the 19 year-old’s penalty being a good one, Jayet pushed it away, with Vale falling to the floor in dismay. Vale’s older brother, Wayne (aged 24), who plays on the opposite wing to his younger brother, consoled his younger brother, who was then replaced for Stewart McAldrin. McAldrin then zipped down the wing, where Stoke-Rafferton was. The striker hit the post with the bicycle kick. In the last minute, the captain of Free Swiss States, Donovan Menelle, thundered against the crossbar, as the game finished 0-0.

[Bongo Johnson]

BongoBeat.net - Sports for the 21st Century

ISBJ win Campionato III thriller; advance to next round

Wow, did you catch the last ten minutes of last night's game or what? Tied up until the 87th minute of regular play, the Incorporated States scored at 87:44 to go ahead 1-0. Mainly a defensive battle, Zingolar's players had several solid chances to score but were denied entrance to the promise land. Fighting to stay in the running, Zingolar simply didn't have it in them, and drop to 0-2. With the loss, Zingolar will not advance to the next round. On the flip side, Bongo Johnson's win has clinched the group! No matter what happens in this final match-stage game, the starting eleven will be moving on to the next round. If they win, they will clinch First Place in Group G. Exciting things are afoot.

Stay tuned to BongoBeatHD and BongoBeat.net for more info.

[Dandillis]

From the work pages of Dr. Horreshüffer:

Dandillis 1 - 1 Cyprardeos

The bunnies have almost secured a spot on the knock-out round. We still have to face Bongo Johnson, the leaders of the group, after tying with some indigenous people from Cyprardeos. If only they knew the power of technology, they wouldn't be living in such horrible conditions! Just look at them, they don't even wear real clothes, can't they just pay them? Anyways, our genetically superior bunnies played an overall average game against Cyprardeos, scoring once and conceeding once. It's all nice as we won against Zingolar, and that's something.

It took the Cyprardeans 20 minutes to score, which at least means we didn't conceed a goal at the first 10 minutes. That's what I call progressing. Mlemtotimu Mtomanga got to shoot from afar and Toothy had already jumped to stop it when, all of a sudden, an eagle came out of the nothing and took the ball and entered the goal to rest, it would sleep there for the rest of the match. The referee would dumbly give the Cyprardeans the goal, but our bunnies behaved really well, not arguing with the referee. Oh wait, that's because most of them can't think and those which can don't even like football, nevermind. Then, 40 minutes later, on the second half, Boodoony would cross a ball from outside the box, Bulk, already green, would stomp a Cyprardean player to the floor, and the goalkeeper would take it. However, he gave the ball to a "Cyprardean" defender, who would turn out to be Rugs Bunny disguised, it would kick the ball in and equalize, it celebrated saying to the goalkeeper "What's up, Rock?". I don't know how many rules we broke, Bulk's stomping and Rugs Bunny disguising seems kinda off for football, but I don't care, the referee gave us the goal. The match would end like that, a 1-1 draw. It should be noted that the little stadium in which we were playing was full, something that surprised me, apparently, Sakhovelis wanted to see our experiment too! We could totally use this for advertisement.

List of defects detected so far:
- Bunnator's aggresive attitude (now Bulk's too, but only when he's green, just as designed).
- Rugs Bunny's horrible shooting.
- The overall short memory of the team.
- Toothy's weight.
- Tendency to conceed early goals.
- Dependence on Mr. Evilbunny's stunning laser beam.
- That F%¿/¡$@ eagle.
- We needed Rugs Bunny to disguise in order to score.
- Toothy's inability to stop an eagle when it's (Toothy) mid-air (it might as well be physically impossible to stop the eagle, I don't really care).
- The referee. Noticed that this shouldn't concern me at all.

[Free Swiss States]

Things Looking Dark for the Swiss Team
After blowing their first game in a 1-4 loss and then coming to a tenuous draw in their second match, the Swiss have almost no hope of qualifying. Their only hope is in the off possibility that the two teams directly ahead of them draw, which would still leave the Swiss with having to beat a team which is currently leading the group by at least 3 goals.

[Asadur]

Hear Ye! Hear Ye!

Aye, and it was the secondforthso game in the Championship of Esportiva for the Asadurans, the noble nights who questeth, oh yea, and they did loseth this game to the Islands of the Sun that Riseth located in the north, as opposed to those lying in the east, south or west. Nae, for it was the north that these islands were placed, and it was the north they would always be placed. And dear Sir Bartholomew of the Order of the Sun that Riseth, aye, he did have a deep connection with these, his people and fellow sun-riseth-ers, though Sir Bartholomew's people were from the east, not the north, and so was simply a distant relative of those people in the north. For the north was where the Sunriseth Islands of these were located, and it was the northern part of esportiva where they were. And the north did hold these islands, and it was the north where these islands did locate themselves. And they were called the sunriseth islands of the north, for that was where they were.And the north was the location of these islands, not the south, nae, nor the east, nor the west. The north was the place of these islands, and they were of the sun that riseth, not that which setteth. For should they have been of the settething sun, they would have been the people of Sir Thaddeaus And they are not, for these islands are in the north, and in the north they always will be. And the north shall be the place of these islands, and it shall not be anywhere that is not the north...

We apologize for the stupidity and tendencies of Squire Robert the Ramblererererererer. For ease of reading, he has been stopped from writing any further decrees. The decree is now continued.

*Trumpet blast*

And Asadur did play these Northern Sunriseth Islands, and unfortunately they did loseth, but not because they did not quest to the uptmosteth of their ability, nae, rather they did so to the besteth they could, but alas, the Northern islands did play harder than they did, and did set back the Asaduran's noble questing for their own gain. But the noble cause of the Asadurans was broadcast to many a person, many a Sakhoveli, in fact, Two Thousand Score plus Seven and five hundreths tenths (2,000.7.5)*. Though a sign above the most noble field of play did say that free "მრტინოს", which Sir İbrahım the Caucasian oddball, Who Doth Write With Upside-Down E's, Undotted I's, Swirly Glyphs, and Strange Lines, said meant Mrt'inos, but what those were nobody could say.

[Licentiapacisterra]

Unlike the celebratory mood after the previous game against Free Swiss States, there was considerably less drinking and shouting and towel whipping in the Cyan-and-Gold changing room after their 1-0 loss to 19th Century Beards, the runners-up of the last CE, with them being denied the title by Thrilledge at LTI Stadium in Montfort. There were various theories about the Beards players looking for revenge against the Licentians, because they were beaten to the title on the Islands, but nobody in the team really believed it.

Nathan certainly didn’t believe it, though he knew that Mindougas Gimbiris was gunning for him one way or another. The bruises over Nathan’s body certainly attested to that. As did a rare loss of temper for Gardiner-Stewart, when, as Gimbiris jumped for the ball at a corner, Nathan went to punch it away, but accidently caught the Beards striker’s head, rather than the football. The referee didn’t have a choice, and sent Gardiner-Stewart for an early shower. Gimbiris would be fine, slightly concussed maybe. It was the effect on Nathan that would be the most profound out of the two of them.

Nathan was sat in the same corner that he sat in last week. Well, relatively speaking, since they had moved from the Kubistvis Olympic to the Kubistvis Major Stadium. But, I digress. Skip Sanders was on his way over to Nathan, who had his head in his hands. He lifted his head as he heard the footsteps, and waved at Skip.

“You alright mate ??” Skip obviously hadn’t got the memo about Nathan being sick of people asking him if he was alright, and Nathan let him know with a sarcastic tilt of the head. “Fair ‘nuff. What’s up ??”

“That idiot, Min-dick-gas Gimp-biris !!” Nathan chuckled at his own joke, and shook his head. “He was goading me all night. I wasn’t in the right frame of mind tonight Skip, sorry.”

“There’s no need to apologise mate.” Skip patted his old boss on the back. “You know, you’ve been playing really well at the minute. Good enough to stay in the side for the World Cup.” This comment prompted Nathan to tilt his head again.

“Have you been talking to Kerr ??”

“That obvious ??”

“I’ve known you since you were yay high Sanders.” Nathan signalled how tall Skip was then, moving his hand next to his knee. “I know you well.”

“Fair ‘nuff. What are you going to do about the next game ??”

“Ach, Cam’s a star. The only reason he’s not in the side is because I owed Lucan a favour.”

“What kind of favour ??”

“You ever heard about the night where I...”

“Don’t even go there !!” Skip shouted, knowing that Nathan was going into a ramble. Nathan laughed.

“Why ask ??”

“I don’t know.”

“Hey Skip ??”

“Yeah ??”

“Go kick some Qalfen arse for me !!”

“You bet ol’jun !!”

“Cheeky bastard !!” Nathan chuckled, and studied a bruise on his arm. It wasn’t just the bruises that would hurt in the morning.

[Sakhovelo]

Third Cutoff right HERE. For the while, I'll just announce the direct qualifiers. The two best 3rd-placed teams will be decided when CH also scorinates... So I guess those guys will have to wait a bit.

[Sakhovelo]

Matchday 3 in Sakhovelo (Final Day of the Group Stage)

Group A
Slembana vs. Cyborg Holland
Kubistvis Olympic Stadium, Kubistvis
70.000 attendants
[2] - [1]

Equatorial Sarmen vs. Apeotish
Gauro Romelashvili Stadium, Batuni
26.589 attendants
[1] - [0]

- GROUP A                                             Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Slembana                                              3   2  1  0    4   1  +3    7     Q
2 Cyborg Holland                                        3   2  0  1    3   2  +1    6     Q
3 Equatorial Sarmen                                     3   1  0  2    1   3  -2    3     Possible Qualifier
4 Apeotish                                              3   0  1  2    0   2  −2    1     E

Group C
Qalfen vs. Licentiapacisterra
Simghera Arena, Kartlos
55.000 attendants
[2] - [2]

19th Century Beards vs. Free Swiss States
Kubistvis Olympic Stadium, Kubistvis
61.029 attendants
[4] - [0]

- GROUP C                                             Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 19th Century Beards                                   3   3  0  0    7   0  +7    9     Q
2 Licentiapacisterra                                    3   1  1  1    6   4  +2    4     Q
3 Qalfen                                                3   0  2  1    2   4  −2    2     E
4 Free Swiss States                                     3   0  1  2    1   8  −7    1     E

Group E
Swyftlandre vs. Asadur
Bagratuni Mountain Arena, Khobeliti
22.000 attendants
[0] - [2]

Northern Sunrise Islands vs. Westfield House
Kubistvis Major Stadium, Kubistvis
70.000 attendants (Double header with a Lacrosse game of the Open of Kubistvis)
[2] - [1]

- GROUP E                                             Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Northern Sunrise Islands                              3   3  0  0    6   1  +5    9     Q
2 Asadur                                                3   2  0  1    4   3  +1    6     Q
3 Westfield House                                       3   0  1  2    3   5  −2    1     E
4 Swyftlandre                                           3   0  1  2    1   5  −4    1     E

Group G
Zingolar vs. Cyprardeos
Ok'ros Medinare Stadium, Tbilino
39.134 attendants
[2] - [2]

Dandillis vs. Bongo Johnson
Kubistvis Olympic Stadium, Kubistvis
70.000 attendants (Last CEIII match to be played at this venue)
[2] - [0]

- GROUP G                                             Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Dandillis                                             3   2  1  0    5   2  +3    7     Q
2 Bongo Johnson                                         3   2  0  1    5   3  +2    6     Q
3 Cyprardeos                                            3   0  2  1    4   7  −3    2     E
4 Zingolar                                              3   0  1  2    3   5  −2    1     E

[Sakhovelo]

Knockout Round Fixtures

Matchday 4
Round of 16 - A: B1 vs. D2 (@Bagratuni Mountain Arena)
Neuseeland vs. Wednesday Evening

Round of 16 - B: G1 vs. E2 (@Ashbaarn Park)
Dandillis vs. Asadur

Round of 16 - C: C1 vs. A2 (@Ocean Gateway)
19th Century Beards vs. Cyborg Holland

Round of 16 - D: 1st Best Third Placed Team vs. 2nd Best Third Placed Team (@Simghera Arena)
Apox vs. Byfugland

Matchday 5
Round of 16 - E: A1 vs. C2 (@Eindhoven Sports Arena)
Slembana vs. Licentiapacisterra

Round of 16 - F: E1 vs. F2 (@Gauro Romelashvili Stadium)
Northern Sunrise Islands vs. THRILLEDGE

Round of 16 - G: F1 vs. B2 (@Ok'ros Medinare Stadium)
Drosophiland vs. Sakhovelo

Round of 16 - H: D1 vs. G2 (@ACG)
Free University vs. Bongo Johnson

[Cyborg Holland]

Group B
Neuseeland vs Sakhovelo
@Ashbaarn Park (62,937)
[1] - [0]

Byfugland vs Islo Aiz ens Islo Dorne
@ACG (22,786)
[2] - [0]

Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Neuseeland                 3    3   0   0     5    2   +3     9
2 Sakhovelo                  3    2   0   1     9    4   +5     6
3 Byfugland                  3    1   0   2     5    6   −1     3
4 Islo Aiz ens Islo Dorne    3    0   0   3     2    9   −7     0

Group D
Free University vs Wednesday Evening
@EIndhoven Sports Arena (34,000)
[1] - [1]

Apox vs Englonia
@Olympic Stadium (73,000)
[5] - [1]

Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Free University         3    2   1   0     6    1   +5     7
2 Wednesday Evening       3    2   1   0     3    1   +2     7
3 Apox                    3    1   0   2     5    3   +2     3
4 Englonia                3    0   0   3     1   10   −9     0

Group F
Taijan vs Dropsophiland
@New Amzterdam Arena (86,302)
[1] - [3]

Earo vs THRILLEDGE
@Ocean Gateway (47,652)
[1] - [0]

Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Dropsophiland           3    2   0   1     6    3   +3     6
2 THRILLEDGE              3    2   0   1     4    2   +2     6
3 Taijan                  3    1   0   2     3    5   −2     3
4 Earo                    3    1   0   2     1    4   −3     3

Knock-out Fixtures
Round of 16 - A: B1 vs D2 (@Bagratuni Mountain Arena)
Neuseeland vs Wednesday Evening

Round of 16 - F: E1 vs F1 (@Gauro Romelashvili Arena)
Northern Sunrise Islands vs THRILLEDGE

Round of 16 - G: F1 vs B2 (@Ok'ros Medinare Stadium)
Dropsophiland vs Sakhovelo

Round of 16 - H: D1 vs G2 (@Alkmaar Cricket Ground)
Free University vs Bongo Johnson

[Sakhovelo]

Full Knockout Fixtures Here

Also, regarding the best 3rd placed teams, the candidates were the following ones...

-                                                     Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Apox                                                  3   1  0  2    5   3  +2    3     Q
2 Byfugland                                             3   1  0  2    5   6  −1    3     Q
3 Taijan                                                3   1  0  2    3   5  −2    3     E
4 Equatorial Sarmen                                     3   1  0  2    1   3  -2    3     E

[Wednesday Evening]

Wednesday Hooters
Coverage of Campionato Esportiva III

And into the knockouts we go: it's Quigley and Bolder against all of Neuseeland. That's probably not fair to the rest of the lads; the whole back line deserves mention after 270 minutes yielding but a single goal. Toddles Wilson put through that crucial cross to set up the game-winner against Apox, and Trevor Fantham surely earns high marks for both managerial scouting and midfield savvy. But Derek Quigley has three goals, one in each match, and Chris Bolder was one free kick away from three straight clean sheets in net. They're standing tall every night.

You know and I know that may not be enough. One goal per match won't win cups -- sooner or later that goal fails to materialize, or opponents solve the defense and get two. Jack Jordan hasn't been absent, it could be argued that his presence has kept teams from keying on Quigley. But until he gets one ball home, and he'll need help to do that, the enemy backliners WILL be able to key on Quigley and there goes the neighborhood.

Simply put, our attack needs to rise up to match the level of our defense. We can rein in a good team, witness the 1-1 draw with Free University. But we need to be able to put away good sides, not just contain them.

[Apox]

(OOC: Supersonic is a dual themed program. The first half is an email program that is widely used in Apox. The second half is like a fusion between MSN/Group Chat/Twitter/Instant Messaging where you and your mates create a room to chat. You can also "Follow" people or things, that will automatically post into your chat room. This is a random chat room of a bunch of football mad mates during the Apox vs Englonia.)

<Booting up room>
<Gavin1532 online, Fred_MATE online, Jonno online, LadsOnTour (Steve) online, Jessie online.>

Fred_MATE: Right lads, we are definitely gonna need to win this one.
LadsOnTour: Agreed
APXSportsUpdate: And the teams are heading out onto the pitch here and the Olympic stadium in Cyborg Holland. Our opponents today? The Englonia football team, all that remains of the once proud country of Englonia.
Jessie: How can we be playing against a team from a country that doesn't exist?
Gavin1532: Just roll with it Jess.

APXSportsUpdate: Kick-off, Apox doing the honours this time. An immediately aggressive start by the team, as they know that we have to win this one to have any chance of progressing.
LadsOnTour: COME ON TEAM! I think you can do it!
Jonno: Come on boys! We should win this one.
Gavin1532: DON'T SAY THAT! THAT'S WHAT WE SAID LAST TIME AND THEN WE LOST!
Jonno: Sorry

APXSportsUpdate: A very good start here, now Marlon Vetta picks up the ball just outside the box, he lines up the shot, IN! 1-0 TO APOX!! COME ON TEAM!
LadsOnTour: YES YOU F***ING LEGENDS
Fred_MATE: YES BOIZZ
Gavin1532: YEAH!
Fred_MATE: Bit unlike you Gav.
Gavin1532: Calm down, I was excited.

APXSportsUpdate: Englonia seem to have put that set-back behind them and now they are on the attack, the striker picks up the ball, No, literally he's just picked up the ball. What is he doing? Free-kick to Apox.
LadsOnTour: Crazy foreign people...
Jessie: Even I know that you can't do that...

APXSportsUpdate: Now it's Apox on the attack again, Fran Gracie crosses that one in beautifully into the waiting head of Dravid Scott, who BURIES it!!! 2-0!!
Gavin1532: Phew, that'll ease the tension a bit...
Fred_MATE: I love our team!
Jessie: That was a great header to be fair...
Fred_MATE: I thought you didn't know anything about football?
Jessie: Uh, no?...

APXSportsUpdate: Half time here, and we into the second half with a bit of confidence regarding the 2nd half, and ultimately progressing to the next round.
LadsOnTour: YES!!
Jonno: We haven't won yet! Properly psyched though.

APXSportsUpdate: And the teams are heading out into the field. Englonia will kick off. I don't know who's in their team, so I can't say if they've made any changes or not.
Jonno: Come on team!
Fred_MATE: HUZZAH!

APXSportUpdate: That didn't take long, we've only been playing for 3 minutes! Will Fich stepped up to take a free-kick, and once again found the head of Dravid Scott! He's been on top form today! Or at least, his head has!
Fred_MATE: Dravid you beautiful man!
Gavin1532: He is a bit of a goal-line God!
Jessie: Properly hot as well...
Gavin1532: Football! let's concentrate on the football.
LadsOnTour: I would
Jessie: ...

APXSportsUpdate: What a game this is! Englonia have just equalised after an interesting incident involving Jarvis Staniels, a gust of wind, a pile of old newspapers and an inflatable rubber penguin! I'll leave you to guess what happened, I'm not that sure myself.
Gavin1532: What is going on in this game? At least we're still 3-1 up.
Jessie: This is an odd game that ur all mad about.
LadsOnTour: Shut up it's awesome!

APXSportsUpdate: A couple of substitutions happening now, as Chris Maarsden is replaced by Keri Ularu, while at the other end, Jack Forster is replaced by a young Oley Williams on his international debut!
Jonno: Oley! Doing Exton F.C proud!
Gavin1532: You support weird teams.

APXSportsUpdate: Wow! A fourth goal, this time by Keri Ularu, a lovely curving shot which then nestles in the back of the net. She'll be pleased with that one!
Gavin1532: Such an amazing young talent.
Fred_MATE: You know how gay you sound saying that?
Gavin1532: Um to quote Fred "Dravid you beautiful man!" Don't start giving me chat.
Fred_MATE: Hmmmm.

APXSportsUpdate: And it's a 5th goal! This isn't a victory, its a rout! The Englonia squad are in disarray, and here to take advantage of that, it's Will Fich! The young midfielder, does a little run, and a dribble, then offloads the ball to Fran Gracie, who then passes it back to Will, who puts it away. Exquisite play!
Fred_MATE: WOO! We should definitely win this one now!
Gavin1532: Don't say that until its over...
APXSportsUpdate: And that's the final whistle, Apox are through to the round of 16!
Gavin1532: Oh.
Fred_MATE: HAHAHAHAHAHA
LadsOnTour: WHEY YOU DICK!!

APXSportsUpdate: Team sheet from the match (scorers in bold)
GK - Jarvis Staniels (c)
RD - Jack Forster sub Oley Williams 64'
CD - Chris Neguwa
LD - Jennie Scott
RM - Olim Benzari
CM - Ken Rickwright
CM - Will Fich
LM - Fran Gracie
ST - Chris Maarsden sub Keri Ularu 64'
ST - Dravid Scott (x2)
ST - Marlon Vetta