World Cup LXI (61) RP Thread

[Valanora]

Here comes the second half of qualifying!

Scores

[Audioslavia]

Sue Dysos marched down High Street with her bag clutched tightly against her chest. As far as she was concerned her bag was the most important part of her right now. A day's worth of information. A day's worth of sleuthery. She'd analysed the data on the hard-drives Jeremy and Rubio had given her, and she'd found a few interesting things. She'd also gone above and beyond the call of duty, interviewing former members of the Emberton Post with a view to piecing together the last few days of the paper's existence, and possible nefarious machinations in its downfall. Now, at 10am on the Friday morning, she was marching to a cafe in town to meet Jeremy and present her findings. Woo him and she was in with a job, though quite which publication she would have a job for was yet to be decided. Papers were hiring, that was for sure. She'd heard of recently laid-off Post hacks being headhunted by the likes of La Verdad and Krytenia's own Cy'Un. She barely had time to think about the possibility when the cafe loomed upon her. Altebruckes. She opened the door and went in.

Rubio was there with Jeremy, sipping espressos and shooting the breeze. Sue approached the table.
"Rubio, I was hoping you'd be here" said Sue.
"Why?" asked Rubio, confused. Sue stuttered.
"Err... because... I want you to see what I've found, of course" said Sue, mentally kicking herself for making a tit of herself. Rubio was a fanciable man, but she was a professional sodding journalist, god damnit, not some twirly haired schoolgirl. Besides, Rubio was a good four centimetres shorter than her, and she hated dating small men.
"Find anything interesting in those hard-drives?" asked Jeremy, after raising an eyebrow at both Rubio and Sue, as if trying to ascertain whether they'd had sex or not. Sue assumed, from the fact that Jeremy started talking shop almost immediately, that he'd come to the conclusion that they hadn't. The correct conclusion, unfortunately.

No, not 'unfortunately', jesus Sue...

"I got more than that" said Sue, getting a hold of herself, taking an enormous ring-binder from her handbag and dumping it onto the table with a thump.
"Ooh" said Rubio. Jeremy said nothing, merely sipped his espresso and looked at the folder.
"So, what did you find?"
"Evidence of foul-play in the days running up to the closure. Thousands of dollars being exchanged between one department and the next, gaining interest as it went and then, *pop*" - Sue had made the 'pop' sound using her index finger and the inside of her cheek, and immediately wished that she hadn't. Rubio showed a tickled smile. Jeremy remained focused - "..the money went. Disappeared. I traced the head accountant and asked her..."
"...wait" interrupted Rubio, "you interviewed people?"
"Yes" said Sue, matter-of-factly, as if she didn't know she'd gone above and beyond by persuing those who might be 'in the know' about that story. "The former of head of accounts, one..." - Sue traced her finger down a page of the folder, tapping her finger on the correct one "...Nora Clare, she was sacked before the money was finally moved out of the company, so she couldn't tell me what happened to it or who beneffited from the money leaving the company, but she did lead me to one Javi Garcia, who dealt exclusively with marketing's accounts. She warned me off him, but I found him. He was talkative but very defensive when it came to Nora Clarke. I think the two of them are sleeping together. Anyway he may have unwittingly..."
"Woah woah woah!" said Rubio, eyes wide open, "Javi... I know Javi. He's on the work six-a-side footy team with me. He's a nice chap. Wouldn't hurt a fly. Certainly wouldn't do that to his wife, what evidence do you have that..."
"Circumstancial" said Sue. Rubio frowned. There was something about her use of the word 'Circumstancial' when admitting she wasn't completely correct about something that.. un-nerved him. Perhaps it was because she said it in a very similar way to Jeremy Jaffacake, who often used it to rubbish the evidence of others. "Nora had obviously had a visitor the evening before I visited her. Male. The toilet seat was up, and there were two near-empty glasses of wine on the side. Also, they were very defensive of each other, not wanting me to ask too many quesitons. Might not be him, but probably is."
"Wow" said Rubio, shaking his head. "It isn't true, but that's some damned good sleuthery right there."
"How is it not true?" asked Sue
"Toilet seat was up, yeah?" said Rubio
"Yeah"
"See. He's an Avidia City fan. Definitely doesnt pee standing up"
Jeremy's face broke out into a smile for the first time.

To be continued..

[Qazox]

World Cup 61
ASMV-Valanora

Tough to make history when you've been aroudn as long as Qazox has been, but tonight's 8-0 thrashing of Zarbli set a team record for largest away win, breaking the old record of 5, accomplished numerous times. Seemingly everyone on the roster scored, except for Doreen Dobbs, who is still recovering from her injury, and may be back for the Leorudo match on Saturday.

To poetically enhance tonight's performance, here is Helena Tahns.


Shots fired through the night
not bullets, but balls were flying
as Qazox stomped through allright,
perhaps Zarbli wasn't trying?

Eight shots found their mark
from many players they did come.
McCoy, Tanner and Spaatz's two spark
a 4-0 lead as the Zarbli crowd was struck dumb.

All that in just minutes of 24
Qazox scored two more times
as the halftime drew near and not before
Rashaad's and Daniels' goal each chimes.

A six goal lead at the half
and two quick ones to start
as Chen and Reed made it a laugh
a total of 7 scorers took part.

For the last of the minutes thirty
the Eagles just cleared balls out
and tried not to play to dirty
as this game was already a rout.

Now back home once more
to face Leorudo, in place number eight
Qazox should be able to score
just a matter of how long to wait.

[Blouman Empire]

THE DAILY REVIEW

EAGLES LOOK FOR REPEAT

The Blouman Eagles start the return fixtures for the 61st World Cup qualifiers tonight against Earo and will be looking to replicate the same result as last time the two teams met. Despite being 5th the team is confident they can finish the qualifiers at a higher level and much closer to the top of the table. In a press conference held yesterday manager Harry Malsomp spoke highly of the team praising them for their first 8 games in international football. He was quick to point out areas that the team was weak in and that he will be working with the players and the rest of the coaching staff on improving those areas.

When asked on his expectations of the team in the second half of qualifying Malsomp stated that he would expect us to beat all the teams we beat last time and that we would this time beat AudioSlavia and Little Pebble Island. Malsomp was also expecting a better performance against Bears Armed and Gyatso-Kai but did not go as far as saying that the team would beat them, only to say that Margret can work in mysterious ways and if we can hold them off we can easily get a goal past them.

The Eagles next play Earo away, after beating the team 4-0 the Eagles will be looking to replicate these results a feat that Captain Biggs-Way is optimistic of that will start the return legs on the right foot.

[Unified Falcon]

The Unified Gazette
Honoring the Union of Falconfar and Falconear

UNIFIED FALCON FOOTBALL LEAGUE CUTS THREE FALCONEARAN LEAGUES
CYNGHRAIR AMATURAIDDS TO BECOME AMATEUR LEAGUE ON THEIR OWN; COVER-UP FOR INADEQUATE NATIONAL TEAM?

IRSWABI - The Chairman of the Unified Falcon Football League, Benoit Armandu, announced today that the Unified Falcon Football League will cut its teams to seventy-two per nation, or one hundred and forty-four in total, which means that seventy-two of Falconear's lower teams, labeled "Cynghrair Amaturaidd", will become an amateur league of their own, but not a part of the Unified Falcon Football League.

Reasons were many, but the biggest one is the financial situation in Falconear. The little nation, which has significantly less land area and people than its bigger counterpart, is going through its worst financial time in years, and cutting sponsorship for seventy-two teams to be recognized in the Unified Falcon Football League will give a significant boost that might be enough to put Falconear on the right track.

Also, it had been quite a problem for a while that Falconear, while being smaller, had more teams in the league; this solves that problem, giving each nation the same number of teams, and also not changing the dynamic of the top, which is important to keep the essence of the competitions up top alive.

The newly created Falconear Amateur League will operate in a three-tier system, keeping their respective divisions. The top four of the First Amateur League will be promoted to the Cynghrair Rhanbarthol, and the bottom four of the Cynghrair Rhanbarthol will be relegated to the Amateur League. However, the Amateur League will not participate in any Cup competitions.

Mr. Armandu also stated that with the league so shortened, the Falconfar and the Falconear Cups will run concurrently at the same time, giving the fans more matches to cheer about on the same day. When asked about what will happen to the winner of the Falconfar Cup and the Falconear Cup, Mr. Armandu explained that as before, the winner of the cups will be given at least the twenty-fifth seed in the Unified Falcon Cup. If both the Falconfar Cup and the Falconear Cup are won by teams that are not in the top two divisions, the higher ranked squad will get the 25th seed and the other will get the 26th seed. Mr. Armandu did hint that in the future, winning the Falconfar and Falconear Cups will be worth more, but at the moment, that is what will occur.

It is a move that will help the League get settled while helping the economy improve.

Critiques, however, are saying that Armandu only made this move because of the futility of the World Cup Squad, which has become a joke of the Unified Republic, sporting a record of one win, five draws, and three losses with seven matches to go. Manager Imara Newson has been overwhelmed with the prospect of trying to unify two groups of players who had never played with each other before, and although draws do yield points, the Peregrine Falcons are not getting the point that they should be to reach their goal of five wins and fifteen points. At this rate, it will take a miracle to get this team going forward at all, as they are so mired in mediocrity.

The problems are many. Didier doesn't look sharp, the defense can't communicate, them midfield can't possess the ball, and the forwards can't score goals. In a word, the whole team is in shambles, and poor Newson's brilliant talent is being spent trying to fix something that may be beyond repair. In all honesty, unless the two nations within Unified Falcon start coming together, the unified team won't work. They, in a nutshell, represent the dynamic of the experiment that is Unified Falcon.

Tired and beaten, and still a bit divided, they will march on, trying to represent their country, and trying to cause a revival of patriotism in the true "Unified" sense of the word.

[Slembana]

The Slembana Times: Oh, disaster!

By Peter Whiteman, chief football reporter at the Royal Slembana Stadium (attendance 136,518)

Disaster has struck! We have somehow lost 2-0 at home to The Islands of Qutar, meaning that we are on a three-game losing streak without scoring and a streak of only one win in seven. In addition to this, it's a terrible start to George Gray's tenure as our manager.

TIoQ opened the scoring in the 3rd minute, when their star striker headed home a cross from the right-winger. Val Kylx then hit the bar with a bicycle kick in the 39th minute, but that was only one of two shots on target for us. TIoQ's star striker could have scored a hat-trick in the first-half had it not been for our goalkeeper, Toby Gapman.

In the second half, our second shot was a tame effort from Dorrin "Donkey" Forrester, the striker who has now not scored in 8 internationals. It was 2-0 in the 69th minute, with TiOQ's star striker dinking the ball over Gapman. At that point, some of our fans were so annoyed that they decided to leave the stadium, thinking that they had had enough. Nothing much happened until the final whistle, when rubbish and boos were directed at the players, just like yesterday. No surprise in that - our performance was flipping disgusting.

[New Montreal States]

Sol Kirkkegaard had arrived at the Paladin Dome slightly over four hours before practice was due to begin. He been seated quietly in his office in the bowels of the Paladin Dome for three hours, twenty minutes and forty-seven seconds. He had been scribbling formations on a legal pad, thinking about them for a few minutes, then ripping them off the pad, crumpling them up and banking them into his trash can. He had been doing this for an hour, forty-two minutes and eighteen seconds. Prior to that, he had been watching footage of the debacle against Urbis Tractus, occasionally zoning out and wondering how things had gotten to this point.

André Vaillancourt-Bosquet had been spot on in his decision to promote young Hugo Lerclerq to point forward. What neither he, nor anyone else, had banked on was the entire midfield and defense utterly mailing it in for a match. Yanking an exhausted William St. John de la Ware in favor of Hubert Séguin-Holmes hadn't improved anything. After Leclerq's second goal put the Paladins in the lead again, 3-2, he hadn't hesitated to pull Hank Bay in favor of André Lecavalier and park the bus against a lower-ranked side, in the desperate hope of being able to keep a damn lead for once in the match. Didn't work; six minutes after the substitution Lammergeier had found the back of the net, and had reacted with no emotions whatsoever, just like the first two times that those robots had scored. Lecavalier, unsurprisingly for a defensive midfielder, was complete crap on offense, and the 'States passing game found no traction whatsoever in the final twenty minutes. The robots, seemingly ordered to take no risks and steal a point, were content to force the Paladins to keep tapping the ball back and forth outside the Bots' back third until time ran out. Now Kirkkegaard found himself on his back leg against a Starblaydi side that had found its mojo after a pair of utterly lackluster tournaments. The FSSO wasn't slowing down in the slightest. Their next match, against the Men in Mauve, was an elimination game, at least for the NMS.

Kirkkegaard tossed another inadequate solution into the wastebasket, and plunged into the next one. He was interrupted by a knock on his door.

"Hmmm...? Yes? Come in..."

The door opened. It was the secretary, Beverley, a mother of three and quite possible the most non-nonsense person out of 650 million NMS citizens. "We're being sued, Coach."

"Say what?"

"Some journalist from Polar Islandstates is suing the Ministry under the Complete and Total Fucking Transparency Act, demanding to know if we're deliberately excluding him from the 'States. Pika-, erm, Peikko Uistella. Is that how you pronounce his name?"

Kirkkegaard faceplanted. "Close enough."

"This isn't the first time he's given you grief, Coach?"

"Not even close, Bev. So what is he out to get?"

"He wants your contract terms, he wants a variety of documents from the Ministry of Morale about your vetting and hiring, and he wants a judge to publicly grant him visas and press credentials for all our remaining matches, starting with the next one against Starblaydia. If he wins, we'll be compelled to add him to the pool of beat writers. And his lawyer is the sister-in-law of Norman Lajoie, the man who thought he was next in line for your chair until you showed up."

Two vendettas for the price of one! Joy. "And what are our chances of fending him off?"

"Not good. Freedom of the press is one of the few things here who's popularity is on the same level as football. I don't like our chances one bit."

Unlike his predecessor, Kirkkegaard didn't keep hard liquor squirreled away in his office. For the first time since he'd arrived in New Montreal, he was really wishing he had. He heard himself calmly thank Beverley, without consciously choosing his words, and hunched back over his legal pad. If he didn't manage to beat Starblaydia, the outcome of that lawsuit wouldn't really matter one way or another.

[Milchama]

"Few we're in second place"

"Yeah Kiritania finally lost"

"Yeah but they beat Backyard Sports 8-1 today"

"Yeah but they suck. Look Stephanie Morgan is a baseball player, not a soccer player"

"Truth, just a bad roster for them"

"Yes"

"And we won again"

"Yep and we're still undefeated"

"Yep"

"And Kiritania is likely to start losing"

"Yep"

"So then all should be fine"

"I hope so"

"Wow, suddenly you're an optimist"

"Look, I'm starting to see it your way"

"Which is?"

"Optimistically"

"Huh?"

"So you remember our argument a couple of days ago"

"Yeah"

"So really what it was, was an argument between an optimistic fan and a pessimistic fan"

"Sure"

"And I'm starting to become more optimistic now"

"Because Kiritania lost?"

"No because I'm starting to trust the Warriors"

"Oooh bad decision there"

"Why?"

"Because they always fail in the end"

"Yeah but the ride is good"

"Truth"

"So then we should be fine"

"Ok then"

"Yeah I think Milchama are in great shape"

"This is bad, there needs to be some scariness"

"Nope, we're just going to qualify and everything will be a Ok"

"Uhhh... you're scaring me now"

"Optimism, it's awesome!"

"Uhh... yeah it is but this is crazy optimism"

"It's awesome!"

"Sure"

"Go Milchama!"

"Yeah I like them too, but that's still a little nutso"

"Sure but Milchama will win!"

"Ok then"

"Yep"

"Yep"

"So then let's keep rooting"

"Yes"

"Come on You Warriors!"

"Let's Go Milchama!"

[Michael VII]

Just a trip down the Jagoza River...

Part One

-Part Two (Headwaters and the Plateau)

At the Southern end of Lake Koval, the cliffs of the East gradually fall to easing beaches that entertain thousands each Summer holiday, before finally ending out at the point of Riverhead, where the true Jagoza starts to flow. From here, the alpine cleanliness starts to fall a little, and the river finds itself picking up more sediment than it previously did, going from a sky blue colour to a more usual darker blue shade. Up by Riverhead, where the calm headwaters are found, the people are few and far between, as farms dot the riverside on the plateau that specialise in sheep that have been bred for the harsh winters up in the High Country. In these shallower reaches of the river, it's common to find fly fishermen standing in with lures to catch the lucrative Schmejga Salmon, but only in Summer or Autumn, when the farmers and locals can get away from the farms in reasonable temperatures to stand in a river and not have to worry about lamb season through Spring. After Riverhead, about 20 km away, one will see the risings of a smaller volcanic mountain range that encompasses New Schmejgland, the city of lakes and the largest city in the Alpine zone, permanently populated with over 2,000,000 inhabitants. Not one of the largest skylines, but built on either side of the river, the old bridges and architecture make for a great trip to see as the Jagoza flows through getting wider and still in it's natural state, giving New Schmejgland, or Nova Schmejga, a more picturesque town, home to the local University, the 3rd oldest, behind only FSU and Jagoza much further South.

The University of New Schmejgland has been a historic university and well known among all Michaeleans. Throughout the North, even among those far away from the city, UNS, the Devils are the fan favourite, with many Northerners holding century old allegiances to the uni that was there all along and will be there forever. Since it's inception, it has ranked very high in all sectors and leads as an Agricultural College in the region. The Devils are the team in Michael VII that are notoriously hard to beat, whether it be their hardcore fan base or the thin air up in the Alpine district, and any trip to UNS is to be taken seriously. New Schmejgland competed very hard in the recent College Basketball tournament, getting into the Final 64 around the world, and went right up with FSU in the Highlands Conference, where the title went to the Firebirds, though the Devils took a match from FSU. Western NS is the University home area, with the rest of the town following the curvature of the Jagoza on the Eastern bank, the much larger area of the city. Since a bridge is required to get over to the University, it is always very difficult to get into Uni-Side on gamedays, as each match is a sellout, whether it be Women's lacrosse, or Women's beach volleyball (the fan favourite). UNS oddly competes in the Southern based Riverside-12 Conference domestically, based mainly on old rivalries with Frbiba State, Jagoza and Jagoza State.

After New Schmejgland, the Jagoza runs right through the rest of the cold air of the plateau before reaching the dropoff by Bensville and Plainshire, where the rocks and rapids make for wild rides for rafters, but also claim the lives of rookies, who don't take the water as seriously as it needs be taken. The metropolis of New Schmejgland is left behind, and the small villages come back, populated at their highest during Summer, where drunken High School graduates come to celebrate their school life, or just normal campers wanting to visit the clean river waters and get into the open air, far away from any true civilisation.

And so now, the Jagoza becomes untouched again, small creeks and little streams coming off by every edge, streaming out from New Schmejgland into the expanse of Michael VII countryside, villages branching off from every side, and more farmland spreading out into crudely drawn square patches along the Plains that allow for optimal dairy/wool farming as the climate gets slightly warmer the further South we get. One of the more prominent towns along this patch is the oddly positioned Birkfield, built on a dry patch of the Myr River, a branch from the Jagoza, about 130km from New Schmejgland, where the former market town has thrived despite it's connection to the majestic river having dried up over 80 years ago. Large sediment block ups caused the water to only flow slowly through the Myr, before the heat simply dried it up, leaving just an empty river patch that occasionally fills up whenever the plateau gets a huge batch of rain, so not too often. Birkfield, has managed to continue growing, with over 50,000 residents now, as it built train tracks through it's dry area to become a freight hotspot, and big business in the goods sector, being a big stop for farming goods in and out of New Schmejgland, and for supplying the North with the best the South has to offer.

Now, the Jagoza isn't a friendly river to the untrained man, as it leaves many offspring rivers that can cause many a traveler to get lost, something that the smugglers used to their advantage back in the 15-1700s, where the mini-deltas were their greatest assets, vanishing into swampland quickly that leave their enemies helpless and lost without a map. Although, this has now been all but destroyed by the advent of the internet, and Plexico Maps can easily get someone a route through the river at the touch of a screen, not even a push of a button.

As the river narrows again into the rapids of Bloudem, suddenly in the space of only 30km, the altitude drops from 3000m to nearly sea level, reaching the large Bensville Plains where Bensville and Plainshire are located, in the heartland of the nation, and oddly the home to two professional franchises that are national champs, in the MFL, and even more ridiculous, the Bensville Raiders of the MHA, the ICE Hockey tournament for the Freedom Cup. Damn we're a weird bunch here...

Not much more to be said, until next time into the Rapids...

[Ko-oren]

Clash of the new generations
Ko-oren 2 - 3 Starblaydia

Ko-oren began the first match of the second half of WC 61 Qualifying with a loss: at home vs. Starblaydia, the scoreline ended 2-3. The match was played in Ko-oren City, where a crowd of 50,204 came to see the game. Unfortunately, following the bad results and the 5th place in the group so far, the stadium was not nearly filled. Because of this match, Starblaydia is now 8 points away from Ko-oren, which means that realistically, the Greenblues should try to keep the suffering to a minimum. With only 10 points, they are on par with Mashiki, in 7th place. Baltskandio, in 4th place, seems to be the only team left that Ko-oren could overtake. At the top of the group, The FSSO is king. They have had their bye round, and still they lead by 4 points. Starblaydia are in second place, 2 points above New Montreal States, who have had a problem against Urbis Tractus, that kept them to a 3-3 draw.

Like the Greenblue team, Starblaydia is trying to force a new generation to pop up. A great number of under-20 players have been called for the team, whereas Ko-oren only started a minor revolution with four or five new players. The current oldest player of the Starblaydia team is 23, with two players as young as 15 on the team. Their starting 11 is composed of the oldest players of the team: 20-23 is the age range that has all the players. Ko-oren’s starting eleven is slightly older, with 9 players the same as those that started three World Cup cycles ago.

With an elf-less team, Starblaydia put the pressure on Ko-oren from the first minute. All this resulted in a few yellow cards for Starblaydia, however even the Ko-oren players could not keep their cool in the match that did not allow much space for any player. Worst foul of all was the Marmitinho tackle on the Greenblue goalkeeper. Stupidly enough, Koyane Shiribeshi retaliated with a similar foul on Hansen. These incidents illustrate the match in the number of fouls that occurred.

In the 20th minute, Beyda opened the score for the away team. The Tuncastle Rovers striker scored from 10 yards out, where the ball landed before him from a corner kick. The equalizer came not three minutes later: 1-1. The second goal of the match was a distance shot by Dehenat. Starblaydia then took the initiative with two goals in rapid succession: Schabla and Higgenbottom both were lucky in mistakes by the Ko-orenite defense. The last goal of the match was a penalty, taken by Shiribeshi after 90 minutes.

[Mapletish]

The Lions' World Cup LXI Qualification Journey
Mapletish 2-1 Liventia ; Lions finish Liventia 2-1 at home ; Marks end of win-less fixtures before that.

Previous Three Matches
GSM Selection I 9-0 Mapletish
GSM Selection II 10-0 Mapletish
GSM Selection III 11-0 Mapletish

The Lions came back from a three match win-less streak all to the GSM Selection Teams in which the Lions were lined up to play with. Conceding an embarrassing number of 30 goals in three matches and scoring none in three matches, bringing the Lions to one of their worst GSM Victorian Cup campaigns ever finishing last in the group with the GSM Selection III owning the bragging rights to the GSM Victorian Cup.

Muain Newtons have so long been under large amounts of pressure due to the unforeseen defeat in the GSM Victorian Cup in which they were tipped to at least get a 2nd place.However their opponents proved far more superior than them and they ended up finishing last.However,the defeat in the Cup did not dampened the spirits of the Lions as they play their first match fixture of the 2nd half of the qualifying campaign,having come back from an ugly campaign of the Cup,the Lions beat Liventia 2-1 to end the terrible match losing streak.

The match started in front of a sell out crowd that came to see the game.Fortunately for the sell out crowd that turned out for the match,the Lions were up behind Qazox,still with a gap of three points separating them.Recent results in the Victorian Cup did guaranteed bits of instability in the crowd itself gathering to see the team lag behind in the first half.

For the entire half,the crowd didn't lose their stance,drumming their way into the match as the players pressed on to get what they need,another three points to keep themselves on reach with leaders Qazox.With 22 points,the Lions are 9 points ahead of 3rd place Liventia and 4th place United Gordonopia.Turori,the group favuorites to challenge Qazox were stuck in the fifth place with 11 points,almost half the points less than the Lions.The Lions were also 18 points away from the bottom.The Lions have the least goal against them in the Group with 5,and Qazox holding onto the most wins,points,goal difference and goals attained.

The Liventia team came to the Lions' Den with some pre-match preparations.That indeed was something that led to the first goal being scored in the match with just 15 minutes into the game.What it seemed to be was a nice and quick build up play that broke up the reserve team that were intact.

Liventia held onto their well deserved lead as they make their way into the break.The Lions started their attacking stance in the second half poaching 2 goals through Alero Junio once more,currently the top scorer of the World Cup Qualifying Campaign for Mapletish.The Lions made their lead in the 65th minute and the 80th minute respectively through neat strikes by Junio.

[Jeruselem]

Princess Melody Song Dallas on Naked New Jeruselem ...

Hello! I'm Princess Melody. Well, I think most of you realised that. Anyway I'm here answer questions you ask the team. A lot of them are very shy and don't want to be on TV. So I'll do all the talking. Well I like talking ... a lot. Too much, maybe.

A lot people people ask, why are there no ugly people in the team. Hey look, we're sports people here. No room for fat ugly unfit people. We're all fit people in the team. We can't have unfit people and hence everyone has a decent body. OK, most of the team aren't models or super sexy ... unless you're talking about people like me.

Some complain there's not enough men in the team. And then some complain there should be all men in the team. Look there's guys in this team. We aren't the Dagans or the Unicorns or them Bear Belles you know. Admittedly there's more girls well some of us are Sallads or Dallas girls. But look, the team isn't all girls. Most teams in the cup are actually all male, or have more males.

People ask if we do naughty things during team time. No, no sex during official team hours. Sex uses lots of energy, I mean it's not something you can just do and feel not tired. What people do after team hours is their own business.

Now a lot folks ask why older players aren't back in the team. These players get injured or retire or feel they can't do another tour. We all get older and well can't do the things we did when we were younger. We also need to get younger kids into the team so they can get become familiar with what it's all about so they are better next time round.

A lot of out there say we don't score enough goals. Yeah, we scored 8 in one game. You can't do that all the time but hell, 9 wins from 9. We can't do any better can we? I know we could do better but then we let too many goals if we make mistakes. It's all a balancing act.

Right, and a lot viewer think the team is bit noisy on the field. Well, that's what happens if you have girls. I mean, we have to communicate because girls don't grunt like men do. Go watch a game with the Dagans, they aren't quiet lot either.

People ask if we do special religious stuff before the game. I can't speak for everyone because everyone is different. They do their own thing, we don't force anything on them. This isn't the army ya know.

Some ask about drinking alcohol. We don't drink during team hours. This isn't Jeru FC and some don't drink alcohol anyway. We don't stop social drinking. Banning stuff might sound great in theory but people will just do stuff anyway. Turning up to training or a game drunk is not allowed.

Last one for the day. Some girls ask how I look good even with all the bash and bosh in the game. Yes I get bruises, cuts and other fun things. Even whack in the face because I'm such a short ass. You gotta take care of your skin. Don't let it dry out. Don't do that silly sun tanning stuff either, it just makes the skin worse. Plenty of creams and healing stuff.

That's it from me. See you later. Yeah.

[Blouman Empire]

THE DAILY REVIEW

CARMADIN SEATS CLOSED

20,000 Carmadin fans have been left standard in Bloumany after it was announced they would not be able to take their seats in the Melona Insurance Stadium due to safety concerns and would be banned from entering the stadium. The closure of seats 18 hours before kickoff has been ordered by the North Braxon Building Safety Commission citing concerns of possible collapse and restricted access to fire exits to one section of the stadium. The commission has allowed the stadium to be used but those sections must be off limits to all people. The closure affects 20,000 seats that had been assigned to Carmadin fans leaving only 5,000 seats assigned to the visitors. The closure is the first setback to the Federation since they were readmitted into the WCC and has caused international embarrassment.

Caramadin fans whom had made the long trek to see their team in action against the Blouman Eagles are outraged that this closure has only now been put in place now despite a number of international games being played in the stadium recently. A number of fans have taken to protesting out the front of the stadium, with one being arrested for attempting to enter the stadium. The review spoke to one fan who spoke out against the federation and the stadium "Locking out opposition fans before the game shows a complete lack of planning and respect to us. Bloumany really should have this sorted and not be punishing people who have traveled a long way to come into their country". A number of Caramadins expressed similar thoughts, with some accusing the Federation of attempting to limit the number of Caramadin fans in order to give their team a boost.

The Federation have been quick to limit the fallout damage from this setback promising to refund the cost of the tickets to fans that have been affected. Federation Chairman Sir Luke Predom held a press conference apologising to fans that would now not be able to see the game, stating that the decision to shut down nearly a quarter of the stadium was one imposed on them by the authorities and they did not want to risk the lives of fans. Sir Luke emphasized that the Federation was doing everything they could to find a suitable venue for subsequent home games but that the game against Caramadin will be played at Melona Insurance as scheduled.

[Aguazul]

You are not the first.

That was what he told himself when he couldn't think of anything else. Sitting on the bench all the time, and the long flights for no purpose...those he could handle. Experience on a youth team with home cities half a region apart would do that.

Still, sometimes he'd just get overwhelmed.

Celia didn't help. Oh, Roque didn't mind being second on the depth charts. He didn't even mind being third, with Merlín still being able to scoot over when Rebuelta's prodigy needed a day off. But being second to Celia? She'd play most of the game with a yellow card after a dumb argument early, score towards the end of the first half like it was nothing, then shuffle around for the second. They'd win, barely, thanks to her, and she'd just start joking about her league. "There're only twooo FKMs..."

He slunk back and resigned himself to more bizarre celebration. But then, out of nowhere, Xiomara cut in. "That's not actually what they call it, though, is it?"

Celia paused, confused. "What do you mean?"

"Maribor," said Lita, "no one actually calls them that, you're right."

"Well, no," Celia rushed, trying to save face.

"It's just dumb," said Xiomara, "besides, why would you brag about them, they're not even your team?"

"I...thought it was funny."

"Come on," said Lita, "learn your own team's chants, show a little pride."

"Shut up." Celia rolled her eyes.

But she did keep quiet. It was a start.

You are not the first. Other people transferred clubs. Other people played outside the country of their first nationality. And, somewhere in history, he had to tell himself, other people harbored secret hopes of being called up to play alongside their club teammates. For an actually good team, one that outranked that of the country he'd left behind. And other people, probably, would have realized the call wasn't coming and gone ahead and seized the day, seized the chance to play for a country with lower standards. Or just sit on the bench, never playing and not losing his dual eligibility, wondering what if...

You are not the first. That much he told himself. But sometimes, he wondered whether it was true.

[Slembana]

OOC: My Style Mod is now +1.

[Bears Armed]

Urra SunBlesséd walked through the 'Trophy Room' at Wimbley, smiling as she saw the Golden Honeycomb trophy still within its case there -- the 'Bumblebees' were always a tough side to face, so winning a game against them again as the Bear-Belles had done a month earlier was something to savour -- and along a short corridor to her office. Once she'd poured herself a glass of chilled orange juice, and had sat down, she looked at the annotated copy of the Belles' schedule for the rest of the qualifiers that was resting on her desk.

MD 2: Inthelittlenation, at home; first leg = win 8:1.
MD 3: New Pebble Island, away; first leg = win 6:2.
MD 4: Earo, at home; first leg = win 7:0.
MD 5: Audioslavia, away; first leg = loss 1:0.
MD 6: Carmadin, at home; first leg = win 6:1.
MD 7: Blouman Empire, away; first leg = win 4:0.
MD 8: Bongo Johnson, at home; first leg = draw 3:3.
MD 9: Gyatso-kai , away; first leg = win 3:2.

"Should be an easy win, here, bearing in mind how well we did against them at their stadium last year," she mused to herself. "Probably another win too, touch wood, although they're not doing too badly for themsleves overall so far... and I'd like to know more about their stadium and home crowd and so on beforepaw, for that matter: Best to send some Ravens over there, to find out, I suppose... Hokay, and another hrreasonably comfortable win to be expected hwhen Earo come here, most likely. But bearing in mind how tough Audioslavia's defence prroved itself last year, and how little they have been conceding during these qualifiers, I won't seriously hope for more than a draw there. On the other paw, Carmadin have been under-performing by a bit so far so -- unless the spirits turn against us, of course (which Good Spirits avert!), or they hrreally pull their socks up -- I'd say that we should be able to hope for three points from that match. Probable win, again, but the Bloumen are tricksy enough that we'll need to be extra careful. Our home and our weather for that rematch against the Bongo boys, so bearing in mind their overall performance so far I'd think fairly sure a win for urrs, this time...
"But then it's away against Gyatso-kai to close-out the series, hwhen they're the group's second seed and have been matching us so closely so far.. and we only just managed to beat them here? Urrgah! That one seems likely to be verrry close, and if it comes down to that final game's hrresult to determine hwho tops the group and therefore goes strraight through to the World Cup as against hwho has to play an extra match in order to qualify as seems not exactly impossible... Ouch!
"Still, we'll wait to burn that bridge until we come to it."

Noticing now that she'd emptied her glass whilst thinking, she went over to the cooler for a refill.
At that moment the door opened, and in walked the team's mascot ‘The Wise Grorrfinn’, the only TrueBear* whom one might expect to see in that part of the country.

"Hrarroom, honoured ancestor," she greeted him with a smile. "Just visiting, or is there something in particular that I can do for you today?"

"I come bearing a message of great import," he replied solemnly in a stately manner, before breaking into a smile of his own.
"Well, actually only one of hrreasonable importance, I suppose, but anyhows... Hwhen the Council met this Spring, somebearry suggested that we might offer BAAS some saplings of fairly unusual Tree species to be planted clsoe to this stadium, and the vote went in favour of that proposal, so I told the others that I'd ask hwhether you approve of the idea too and -- if you do -- hwhether you'd help me present it to your own Committee."

"Oooh!
"Of course, and of course... Ur'rmm, will there be any Star-Flowerr Tree seedlings involved? Please, oh please say that there will!"

"Ayyuh, there will be."

"Oh, goodie!!!"



________________________________________________________________________________

OOC
* 'TrueBears' = the Ursine counterpart of humanity's Elves: Verry long-lived, somewhat magical in nature, and generally quite wise. However they manifest in forms that are much closer in appearance to ordinary [non-sapient] Bears than they are to the sapient & anthropomorphic Ursines... except that they're generally even larger than the largest of bears, they have a long tuft of hair sticking up from the tip of each ear, and although they don't have humanoid throat structures they are still capable of understandable speech. As was revealed several World Cup cycles (and about twenty-six years, IC) ago, Grorfinn is actually Urra's maternal grandfather...

[Armed Bears]

(Because sometimes ‘alternative realities’ run in an even more ‘parallel’ manner than one might reasonably expect…)

Surra Rueth’hron walked through the still-empty space in the Royal Arena that had been assigned for future use as a 'Trophy Room' -- One day, she told herself silently, one day this room will be full of international trophies! -- and along a short corridor to her office. Once she'd poured herself a glass of chilled orange juice, and had sat down, she looked at the annotated copy of the Belles' schedule for the rest of the qualifiers that was resting on her desk.

MD 1: Balma, away; first leg = loss 1:2. Win 2:0.
MD 2: Aguazul, at home; first leg = loss 2:0.
MD 3: North banrodesia, at home; first leg = loss 1:2.
MD 4: (bye).
MD 5: Kiryu-shi, at home; first leg = loss 0:1.
MD 6: Redaya, away; first leg = win 2:0.
MD 7: Saugeais, at home; first leg = win 3:0. (!!!)
MD 8: Cosmic Censorship, at home; first leg = win 2:0.
MD 9: Unified Falcon, away; first leg = draw 2:2.

Picking up a pencil, she began to make more notes on that sheet although rather distracted by the fact that she couldn't get Rock group LandMother's song "We Will Shock You!" out of her head.


"Hokay, so a win away at Balma already gained to start with, encouraging hwhen one bears in mind how they beat us here last time around, let's hope that this is a sign of momentum that we can build on."

“Bruin, you’re a cub, you’re a little round cub,”

"Now in three days time we have to host Aguazul, group's second seed and current leader, they beat us last time around too but now we will have the 'home field' advantage and beating Starblaydia of all people during the friendlies hrreally seems to have encouraged our girls so -- maybeso -- a draw?"

“In the woods, gonna be a big Bear some day;”

"Never should have lost to that North banrodesia last year on the first paw, though, and I'm pretty furless sure that we won't do so again."

“Flappin’ your jaws, blood on your paws,”

"Week off, fit in some extra practice of course but give the Belles some more time of their own to unwind in a bit then as well."

“Isn’t it a pity that most of that’s yours?”

"Only lost by a verry narrow margin to Kiryu-shi before, and although they've been doing pretty good for themselves since then admittedly we seem to have found our prroper form now ourselves too so -- bearing in mind that it's urrs who'll be playing at home this time -- hopefully a win... but maybeso we'd better make some extra offerings to Margaret beforepaw, in case that would help."

“We will, we will, shock you!” *<boom!>*

"And we should be able to beat Hrredaya again, too, I think."

“ Shock you!” *<boom!>*

"Damn it, I can't think properly: Fleas and fur-loss, how can I get this song to go away?!?"

“We will, we will… Shock you:
Shock youu: Shock youu: Shock youuu!”
*<boom! boom! boom! boom! boom!>*

"Hr'rmm, maybeso prayer might work?"


"Oh Great Bear,
Master of the Eternal Forest,
We strive to revere Thou here,
As Thou art already revered there;
May we live up to Thy expectations;
Let us find each day our needed foods;
And please try not to expect too much of urrs,
As we try not to expect too much from our cubs,
For we are but as cubs in your nostrils;
For Thou art greater in every way than urrs,
And forever shall be so.”
Ahbearh.”

[Apox]

Camera's pan around the Total Football Takeover Studio, with a funky theme tune. The presenters Merlin Kadozan (MK) and Jon Quillisi (JQ) sit at the the desk in the centre.

MK:Hello and welcome to Total Football Takeover here on APX Sports. I'm Merlin Kadozan...

JQ:And I'm Jon Quillisi. Today Apox takes on Altito Asmoro, in the first match of the second half of qualifying for entry into the 61st edition of the World Cup.

MK:Unfortunately Altito Asmoro are yet to post a roster for this tournament, so once again we are forced into assuming that they're using the same squad as they did in the world cup.

JQ:Yes, so that makes this section rather empty. Umm...

MK:How's the wife Jon?

JQ:Er, bit random but yes, she's great, and just on time the players are heading out onto the pitch to save you from our awful pre-game banter.

*5 minutes later*

MK:Ok, now to Jon in the commentary box.

O mins, JQHello, yes we're here in the pitch as Apox kick off.

1O mins, JQNearly a goal to the Asmoron player Asmoro Nakala there, however blocked by Jarvis Staniels

15 mins, JQAn attempt by Oli Weekes, however, it hit the post a bounced out.

21 mins, JQA yellow card for Cas Newan after he jumped into the Asmoron player Andi Alan.

34 mins, JQAnother shot by Apox, this time coming from Chris Maarsden after a dominant period of play by the Apoxian national team.

39 mins, JQGOAL TO APOX!!! A superb strike from Dravid Scott after a long through ball by Jack Forster in goal. The entire stadium is up and dancing with joy and I believe Jarvis Staniels has just done a flip there. Exciting time here!

45+O mins, JQThat's half time with only Dravid Scott's goal separating the sides at half time.

45 mins, JQAnd we're back, no subs made during the interval.

51 mins, JQA nearly a goal for Altito Asmoro there, off a corner, Sukoyan Sukala with the header and then counter-headed away by Donnie Rathburn.

58 mins, JQA yellow for Altito Asmoro there, for the captain George Lugos.

65 mins, JQAnd a substitution for Altito Asmoro, Sioa Lugos off for Akboy Sadakin up front.

67 mins, JQANOTHER YELLOW!!! Awarded again to George Lugos who can't believe it. I must admit a dodgy decision but that means a red card!

7O mins, JQAnother shot on goal by Apox, Olim Benzari on a long run down the wing, and he chips it into Dravid Scott who's looking for his second goal of the match.

77 mins, JQThat's a substitution, Ken Rickwright off for Tom Mills who is handed his international debut! Make good use of it son!

80 mins, JQShot by Altito Asmoro there, but they can feel the game slipping away from them. Na Chian with the attempt.

83 mins, JQSubstitution for Apox, Oli Weekes off for Stan Miller as Apox bring on one of the old greats to try and widen the gap.

88 mins, JQSub for Altito Asmoro, Bead Sukar off for Siwa Nakajima.

90+2 mins, JQThat's it, Apox win in front of a jubilant crowd here in the Royal Stadium in Dwile. Back to you Merlin.

MK: Thank you Jon! Well, wasn't that exciting scene here in the stadium, with that victory really helping Apox's chances of progression to the finals. Here's the table as it stands at the moment, with Apox just 4 points off the top position. Better than we'd hoped for!

Ps Team               P  W  D  L For  Ag +/- Pts
 1 Western Cuba       9  5  2  2  12   7  +5  17
 2 Pasarga            8  5  0  3  13   6  +7  15
 3 Ipeland            9  4  3  2  19  12  +7  15
 4 Apox               9  3  4  2   7   5  +2  13
 5 Sarrbia            9  3  4  2   9  10  -1  13
 6 Passo Tonale       9  3  3  3   6   8  -2  12
 7 Altito Asmoro      9  2  5  2  10  10  +0  11
 8 Romili             9  2  1  6   6  16 -10   7
 9 Camerania          9  0  4  5   7  15  -8   4

MK:Thank you and goodnight!

Team Sheet from the Match (scorer in bold)
GK - Jarvis Staniels
RD - Jack Forster
CD - Chris Neguwa
LD - Donnie Rathburn
RM - Olim Benzari
CM - Ken Rickwright sub Tom Mills 77'
CM - Jonty Smith
LM - Cas Newan
ST - Chris Maarsden
ST - Dravid Scott
ST - Oli Weekes sub Stan Miller 83'

[Thatius]

An Interview with Footballer Jason Petković

Hello and welcome! This is Radio-Televizija Thatius, the premier broadcaster for all things sports-related. I'm your host, Sebastian Komorowski. Here today with me in the studio is Jason Petković, one of the star footballers on the Thatian National Team. Good to see you, Jason.

Jason Petković (JP): "Thanks for having me today Sebastian, it's great to be here."

Sebastian Komorowski (SK): "Glad you could make it here for an interview. I was pretty sure you would still be sleeping after last night's game against Western Democrotic Germany. You had the full ninety minutes of playing time, you should be still in bed right now."

JP: Laughs. "Haha, I know. My manager told me last night that he had gotten me an interview with Radio-Televizija, and I was like why not? I'd rather not miss giving an interview, seeing as I can sleep after the World Cup."

SK: "I'm sure you'll have plenty of time to do so. Speaking of the World Cup, how did you and the rest of the team react to last night's win against Western Democratic Germany. Excuse me, Western Democrotic Germany. They seemed to have twisted the word for democracy, interesting. Anyways, did you all have fun after your win or did you just go back home?"

JP: "Well after the win, we were pretty happy. You know, just one step closer to qualifying for the World Cup. But we all knew that we were going to beat WDR, especially since they have had no prior international experience."

SK: "Hold on, so you all were just a little bit confident, even after that devastating loss to the Cult of Ashley Greene? Yet another interesting name for a nation, I might point out."

JP: "Yep, they do have some weird nation names going on. A cult, really? Anyways, we were living off the previous win against Daydreamtopia, but still had the Cult of Ashley Greene in our minds. Once we stepped on the field, however, we knew we had this one in the bag. WDR did not have the best record coming into the match, and by the looks of their players, they were unprepared stepping into Frederikstadt National Stadium. It was a good win for our team, and yet another morale booster."

SK: "And your individual performance wasn't too shabby. You earned your first goal of the tournament, I heard."

JP: "With a little help from my teammates, of course."

SK: "Now he's trying to be modest! Give yourself credit Jason, you had a spectacular game last night."

JP: Laughing. "Alright, alright. I earned the goal, and it was a great feeling. Coach [Djantschenko] devised a plan earlier in the locker room, which would have me and Roy [Seeler] come up behind the three forwards and attack. Roy and I sprinted for the goal line of WDR's, and then Marko [Voloski] passed the ball to us real high in the air. He placed it perfectly so I could just use my head to put the ball in the back of the net, past their goalie. It worked brilliantly."

SK: "Just watching it on television, we were all amazed at the athleticism you had to make that shot. Incredible, really."

JP: "Thanks."

SK: "So what's the outlook on Thatius? Going to qualify for the World Cup for the first time or..?"

JP: "Good question, one that we've been wondering ourselves. As of now, we have three main competitors in our group: Mytannion, Swartaz, and ourselves. We're right behind Mytannion in terms of points, and Swartaz is right on our tail as well. They'll be looking for revenge in our next match-up."

SK: "That's right. Swartaz is your next opponent."

JP: "Yep, it's going to be another tough game, just like the first. And this time, we're traveling to Swartaz, so of course they'll have the crowd on their side. This game could decide who qualifies for the play-offs or not, seeing as Mytannion will probably clinch the first spot. After all, they're the team to beat, only letting in one goal this entire qualifying stage."

SK: "And hopefully you guys will be able to break their success and steal the first spot and automatically qualify for World Cup 61?"

JP: "We'll see, though it'll be extremely tough. I know the guys on this team can put it together and beat Mytannion, but we might just be facing a bigger monster. Who knows, it might end in a draw. But let's focus on Swartaz first, right?"

SK: "Of course." Turns head towards camera to talk to viewers instead of towards Jason. "You'll be able to see live cover of the matchup Thatius versus Swartaz here on Thursday here on Radio-Televizija Thatius. Now that wraps up our interview. Jason, it was a pleasure talking to you today."

JP: "Thanks for having me here."

SK: "Thank you. Good luck to the Thatian National Soccer Team, they have the entire nation supporting them. And now we turn to the growing situation in Pruszkow, where thousands of miners are taking strike to the state of Trstenik's new labor union policies. More live from Pruszkow, when we get back."

[Alasdair I Frosticus]

FROM THE ETHNOGRAPHIC REPORTS OF THE IMPERIAL CLUB

It was during the Holy Empire's away match to the benighted barbarian land of Vantelira - a match which the chaps won fairly easily 6-0 thanks to a hattrick from Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern-schplenden-schlitter-crasscrenbon-fried-digger-dingle-dangle-dongle-dungle-burstein-von-knacker-thrasher-apple-banger-horowitz-ticolensic-grander-knotty-spelltinkle-grandlich- grumblemeyer-spelterwasser-kurstlich-himbleeisen-bahnwagen-gutenabend-bitte-ein-nürnburger-bratwustle-gerspurten-mitz- weimache-luber-hundsfut-gumberaber-shönedanker-kalbsfleisch-mittler-aucher von Hautkopft of New Nicea - that we discovered the truth behind the cult of the Great Toe Deity of the Galactic Nail Clippers.

It was our brave chaps Mr Elsie Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz and Kevin Phillipso-Bong who ventured deep into the darkest jungles of Vantelira, armed only with a pair of pith helmets, a pair of machetes, a year's supply of gin and tonic, and assorted other minor goods and supplies carried by their small team of 675 porters. While exploring this strange territory they came across one of the greatest archaeological discoveries in the history of Ordinary Reality.

The savage tribe which worshipped this extraordinary 10 metre tall diorite carving failed to recognise it for what it was: conclusive evidence that the XVIII Dynasty of the New Kingdom of the Galactic Nail Clippers had once, in the unimaginably distant Ordinary Reality linear time past, occupied the territory of Vantelira.

The implications are staggering.

Few participating in the World Cup today realise that the Great Toe Deity is arguably even more influential than the idol Margaret ("a fun lass, and a great shag", according to Juan Tzimisces), which only makes sense when you consider that the toe is rather more central to the action of playing football than a rubber chicken. Some archaeological records strongly indicate that before the Margaret cult was formed, football playing nations across the multiverse would sacrifice their toenail clippings to the Great Toe Deity in an attempt to influence their scores, and an entire trans-dimensional civilisation called the 'Galactic Nail Clippers' spread this dynamic and complex creed before collapsing after the final ruler of the XXIX dynasty was crippled by a foot infection caused by an in-grown toenail. This unfortunate event shook the political and theological foundations of this mighty civilisation, causing its immediate collapse.

Yet every now and then an intrepid chap discovers evidence of this now legendary civilisation - such as the Great Diorite Toe of Vantelira.

[The Icemark]

The Kytler Peninsulae 1 – 1 The Icemark
World Cup Qualifier
Venue: Unknown, The Kytler Peninsulae
Attendance: Unknown

A goal deep into injury time gave The Icemark a deserved share of the points against The Kytler Peninsulae - and gave them renewed, if a touch Sceptical hope of competing for a play-off spot.
It wasn’t a great performance by any stretch of the imagination, but they showed tremendous character and guts to stick to their task and eventually grab an equaliser.

The Kytler Peninsulae were offering almost nothing going forward until they took the lead on 22 minutes. The goal was simplicity itself, a downward header from a long cross. However, the Icemark defence will have asked questions of themselves for allowing their striker so much room to finish.

The Kytler Peninsulae with their narrow advantage were content to sit back and hit on the break, and nearly went two goals up with a shot from just outside the penalty area that was palmed away by the sprawling Icemark goalkeeper.

The Icemark knew it had been a poor first half for them. But at least they were still in the tie. And they seemed to come out a different team after the interval, almost striking back straight away. The Kytler Peninsulae defence only half-cleared the ball, which fell to E Celeste who struck a shot just past the post.
It signalled the start of a prolonged period of possession for The Icemark, who looked to use Theowin down the left wing whenever possible.The Icemark should have been level on 63 minutes when Theowin – their most impressive player throughout the contest - ran onto a knock-down and seemed certain to score one-on-one with the goalkeeper, but she watched as her shot went agonisingly wide by a matter of inches.

The majority of the second half was being played in the oppositions final third, which was in stark contrast to the first half. Theowin’s direct running continued to cause The Kytler Peninsulae problems, and she set up another opportunity, when she crossed into L Celeste who glanced the resulting header wide.

It looked like the earlier goal was going to be enough for The Kytler Peninsulae to take all the points, but for a dramatic finale in stoppage time. And it came when Lindenshield ran onto L Celeste’s flick with the game in its dying moments and lashed the ball past the opposing goalkeeper to send the travelling supporters wild. The goal was just reward for The Icemark’s calm and patient approach. Despite their near misses they remained undaunted, and continued working the ball around the pitch, searching for an opening. Their patience paid off.

Player Ratings: Iphignea 7, Grimswald 6, Athelstan 5, Athelflaeda 6, Witchmother 6, Annis 6, Stagapoulos 6 (Hereward 5), E Celeste 7, Theowin 8, Lindenshield 7, L Celeste 7

Match Facts:
Shots On Target: 6 – 3
Corner Kicks: 3 – 4
Bookings: 1 - 0
Sending Offs: 0 – 0
Possession: 54% - 46%

Group News

Licentiapacisterra continue to surprise, as they pulled off the shock result of Group 4 so far, with a 3-1 victory on Sargossan soil. Elsewhere Ayrshire and Danaelia played out a goaless draw, while United Federation Of The World won their first ever match with a 3-0 victory over early group pace-setters Remad.
Sargossa remain top, but only by a solitary point above the surprise package, Licentiapacisterra. The Icemark are fifth and now trail second place by six points. It’s probably now a task too far for them to catch up, considering Taeshan has got a game in hand on them as well.

-  Team                                 P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
 1 Sargossa                             9  6  1  2  27   9  +18  19
 2 Licentiapacisterra                   9  6  0  3  16  10   +6  18
 3 Taeshan                              8  5  1  2   7   2   +5  16
 4 The Kytler Peninsulae                9  4  1  4   9  11   -2  13
 5 The Icemark                          9  3  3  3   8   7   +1  12
 6 Remad                                9  4  0  5   7  12   -5  12
 7 Danaelia                             9  3  1  5   8  20  -12  10
 8 United Commonwealth of Ayrshire      9  3  1  5   8   9   -1  10
 9 United Federation of the World       9  1  2  6   6  16  -10   5

Next Opponents:

Licentiapacisterra V The Icemark

The Icemark visit Licentiapacisterra who began the campaign at best as dark horses, but now are looking like serious challengers for the group. After the plane tragedy that beset their nation at the beginning of the qualifiers no one could have expected them to perform as well as they have done.

Previous Meeting:
The Icemark 1 – 2 Licentiapacisterra
The Icemark were undone by Licentiapacisterra back at Odin’s Hall on Matchday 2, and in part it was due to a little of their own naivety. They went into the game expecting to win – they had never lost to a lower-ranked nation before. They thought just turning up would be enough. It had never occurred to them that Licentiapacisterra might actually just give them a game.

Prediction:
Licentiapacisterra 1 – 1 The Icemark
The Icemark will go into the tie a lot more focused and respectful of their opponents than they did so in the first fixture. However, you feel the wave of momentum driving Licentiapacisterra on after their fantastic win in Sargossa may just give them a slight edge. The Icemark would do well to pick up a draw in this fixture.

[The Archregimancy]

THE MONASTIC TIMES

MONKS REVEL IN FAILURE TO WIN
1-1 Draw Against Team Ranked 329 a 'Victory for Humility'

By Fr. Nicholas the Scribe

The Archregimancy's national football squad managed another victory for monastic humility overnight with a magnificent 1-1 draw against 329-ranked Yorobia, a result that's sure to inspire all of the new Orthodox converts in Cassadaigua.

"It's fairly typical of Archregimancy football history" said a senior archimandrite, speaking on condition of anonymity. "We win the tough matches - like the 4-3 comeback against Cassadaigua - in order to inspire the faithful, and then draw or lose the easy matches against no-hopers like Yorobia or Farfadillis just to show the success hasn't gone to our heads."

Humility certainly figures prominently in anybody’s list of virtues, and most people are more than a little aware of pride playing some role in their spirtual failures. However, knowing that pride is a problem and that humility is a virtue is not saying that we know anything about humility.

First, humility is not precisely the opposite of pride nor is it merely the absence of pride. It is not an absence, but, mysteriously, is truly a fullness (something true of all virtue). Indeed for us, as Christians, to speak of something as a virtue is to recognize that it has a manifestation of the character of Christ. For He truly is the fullness of virtue, and the stature of His fullness is the measure God has set for us in our life in Christ (Ephesians 4:13).

St. Paul offers the most complete description and admonition to true humility:

"Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form he humbled himself and became obedient unto death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name which is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father". (Philippians 2:5-11)

Summed up: No, we're never going to win the World Cup; it just wouldn't be properly scriptural. Qualification is OK, though - always assuming we make it into the playoffs this year.

[Farfadillis]

A converstaion between two fans at the I7'snerra:

Fan 1: What a boring game dude, I can't believe we're playing such a boring formation as 5-3-2
Fan 2: Well, that's the manager's fault, who would even think of putting 5 defenders a game at home, even including Minduruguatzel on the starting line-up for.... Mêndêlöíndçêl!
Fan 1: But not only that, but he's put O'rosso as a center midfielder. He must've gone crazy if he did, I think he didn't do it. Wait, it's a mashoota*!
Fan 2: Indeed, and Tuzzio the same, who would even think of putting them both there? Yep, a mashoota indeed.
Fan 1: Look, the match finished. Did I really pay 30 Feardallis for this?
Fan 2: I was thinking the same.

Before the match:

Fendergéson Numbá: Look guys, I've got orders from the Federal Council, we must play a 5-3-2 formation today, they say that we'll lose to Antoletia if we don't, something which I find silly when you think about how we won away the other game. But, well, they're the Council and we can't say a word, the formation is the following:

Tuzzio interrupted

Tuzzio: Can't we get an opinion on this? What does the Council know about football? Don't they have anything else to mashoot?

Fendergéson Numbá: No, we're not getting an opinion, they're the Federal Council. Anyways, the formation is the following:

The players were expectant, they wanted to know who would be on the starting eleven.

Fendergéson Numbá:
Lisdiren.
Bujkanovic.
Greffe.
Chinsúa.
Wanderis.
Frêndê.

That's the goalkeeper and the defense, from left to right.

Dandalleion.
O'rosso.
Tuzzio.
Minduruguatzel.

That's the midfield from left to right.

Numbá.

That's the only forward.

The players were shocked, the sheer randomness of the Federal Council was unbelievable, finally, Johans stood up:

Johans: I know, I know, the Council may have mashooted us, but we still want to qualify, right? I want you guys to do well today, even if it's out of your position like Wanderis, O'rosso or Tuzzio.

O'rosso: Yeah guys, we're a team no matter what! Let's go!

The team: Let's go!

The cheerful attitude of the team was admirable.

And so they began their way to the field, where they would find Antoletia, and end the match with a draw 0 - 0 which would taste like a win.

*mashoota: Interference of the Federal Council on a matter in which they shouldn't intervene, usually messing things up, it usually happens when they get paid as they're highly corrupt.

[Mesoland]

MBC Sports News
Coverage of the LXI World Cup in Valanora and Andossa Se Mitrin Vega

MESOLAND CONTINUE GIANT KILLING STREAK WITH WIN OVER WORLD NUMBER 26

Queer Poco el Mono Ara 0

Mesoland 1
Nukaba, 76

Mesoland produced another World Cup shock, recording a 0-1 win away to world number 26 Queer Poco el Mono Ara in their ninth qualifying match.

Another astonishing game for Mesoland begun with a QPeMA shot which ricocheted off the bar on the thirty second mark after star keeper Ziza Akazambaa tipped it away from the goal. This burst of enthusiasm, an encouragement for the home crowd early on in the game, suddenly died down and QPeMA were pushed back to defend as the Mesoland midfielders surged forward to support the forwards in attack after attack, the onslaught lasting a good fifteen minutes with Mesoland losing possession just twice in that long period of attack. The game then started to play out as you would expect with a bottom ranked side facing a top ranked side; QPeMA launched their own wave of attacks, their main strikers ravaging the central defenders with their blistering pace and stunning skill, however the defence and over-performing Akazambaa held their own and somewhat miraculously, the game hit half time goalless.

Mesoland and QPeMA, after a tiring first half, both came out a little slowly and the tiredness showed as an unkown QPeMA player picked up a yellow card for a reckless sliding tackle on left-back Jabulani Tukadaki, who hobbled off and was replaced by William Ugadu. Mesoland then picked up a yellow card, this one being brandished at Vava for a shove on the QPeMA centre mid. The game continued on slowly, with a few isolated attacks here and there from each side, until one Meso attack in the 76th minute sparked. A beautiful lobbed cross from Karaji floated to the feet of Nukaba who was waiting on the edge of the six yard box, and he hammered the shot into the top right corner, well out of reach of the goalkeeper. 0-1 Mesoland, and this is how it stayed. Karaji Karaji, the right winger who set Nukaba's goal up received the man of the match accolade and Mesoland shuffled up to second in group 5.

MESOLAND HALTED BY WORLD NUMBER SIX

Mesoland 0

Jeru FC 2
Unknown, 2, Unknown, 14

Mesoland were sadly beaten at home to Jeru FC, however coaching staff commented after the game that the Meso players fought 'valiantly' and that the loss was expected, despite our earlier 0-0 draw with the top-class side.

The game was another slow one; Mesoland's only change from the previous game was Ugadu for the injured Tukadaki, and annoyingly Jeru FC is another team which we have very limited information about (due to it's limited coverage on Meso TV and the poor information provided to us concerning the teams we were to be facing; there was a cock-up in the filming and coverage of the game, so no live commentary was provided anywhere in the country).

The game was dominated by Jeru FC throughout the first half, with an unknown Jeru player bicycle-kicking her way to glory in the second minute of the game. Their relentless attacks soon paid off again with a different player hammering home their second and final goal after sixteen minutes. Mesoland starting revealing their frustrations and received a yellow card through Darron Miaku after he nudged a Jeru player into the referee on purpose.

The whistle blew for the second half and with Mesoland trailing by two, spirits couldn't have been lower. The second half was very mixed, and thankfully no more cards were brandished. Mesoland had one or two chances, most notably through Nukaba who received a corner from Schmitt and was denied a headed goal by the on-form Jeru keeper. The game eventually ended 0-2 to Jeru FC, and the first Jeru goalscoarer received man of the match. Mesoland managed to hold onto second spot in the group and are hoping to conquer their next opponents to guarantee their spot in second for another few days.

All World Cup and BoF news and results can be found on the MBC website, http://www.mesolandbc.mz, under the sports section. Article by Aratu Markezwe.

[Wight]

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