World Cup 58 RP Thread

by **Gyatso-kai** » Fri Feb 03, 2012 9:08 pm

REPUBLIC ASSOCIATED TIMES
History Repeats! DRAW WITH DARMEN!!!

Printed in Volume XXI, 2012.1.02.03

Post Match comments

Just short a goal, but really? I feel like that is what has become our motto.

Ca Yuelo --- ASPN Commentator on "Can YUE-LO?

We dropped three spots with a draw?! We have our work cut out for us with the remainder of the stage ahead of us.

Bai'a Kita --- Goalkeeper, Men's National Football Team

#bisons, part of me says we should just drop and try to make it to the #CoH.

Rennat Seyam --- Avatarian AV Idol

Schedule

Matchday 1, 23 January at ₇₁Darmen --- DRAW 1-1
Matchday 2, 24 January vs ₃₅₇Erikkesh --- WIN 4-0
Matchday 3, 25 January vs ₄₇Octinstine --- WIN 3-1
Matchday 4, 26 January at ₁₆Cosumar --- LOSS 2-0
Matchday 5, 27 January vs ₂₈₃French Scandinavia --- LOSS 2-1
Matchday 6, 28 January BYE Day
Matchday 7, 29 January at ₁₁₄Ipeland --- WIN 4-1
Matchday 8, 30 January vs _URNeo Japan --- WIN 2-0
Matchday 9, 31 January at ₂₃₅Buchadinger --- LOSS 4-1

Matchday 10, 1 February vs ₇₁Darmen --- DRAW 1-1
Matchday 11, 2 February at ₃₅₇Erikkesh
Matchday 12, 3 February at ₄₇Octinstine
Matchday 13, 4 February vs ₁₆Cosumar
Matchday 14, 5 February at ₂₈₃French Scandinavia
Matchday 15, 6 February BYE Day
Matchday 16, 7 February vs ₁₁₄Ipeland
Matchday 17, 8 February at _URNeo Japan
Matchday 18, 9 February vs ₂₃₅Buchandinger

The Group

The biggest surprise we saw today was the 2-1 'victory' of Cosumar over unranked Neo Japan; to think that the behemoth of Group 15 would nearly lose to an unranked squirrel is unimaginable... Perhaps the Dragons are being smoked out? Ipeland went over French Scandinavia 2-1, which was an expected result. Over, seeing 47th ranked Octinstine continue their downward spiral with a 2-nil slaughter at the hands of Burchadinger...

Can the Bisons climb back to the qualifying place of the Group? Or will our boys be blanked out in a matter of days? Time will only tell.

The Scores
₉₀Gyatso-kai 1-1 ₇₁Darmen
₁₁₄Ipeland 2-1 ₂₈₃French Scandinavia
₄₇Octinstine 0-₂₃₅2 Burchadinger
_URNeo Japan 1-2 ₁₆Cosumar
BYE Day: ₃₅₇Erikkesh

The Table

[i]Group 15 Standings

 Team			        P  	W 	D  	L 	For 	Ag 	+/- 	Pts
 1 Cosumar				9  	9  	0  	0  	33   	8  	+25 	27
 2 Burchadinger				9  	5  	1  	3  	16   	9   	+7  	16
 3 Ipeland				9  	5  	1  	3  	18  	15   	+3  	16
 4 Gyatso-kai				9  	4  	2  	3  	17  	12   	+5  	14
 5 Darmen				9  	3  	4  	2  	11   	9   	+2  	13
 6 French Scandinavia			9  	2  	3  	4   	7  	12   	-5   	9
 7 Octinstine				9  	3  	0  	6  	10 	18   	-8   	9
 8 Erikkesh				8  	2  	2  	4   	6  	15   	-9   	8
 9 Neo Japan				9  	0  	1  	8   	2  	22  	-20   	1

The Goalscorers for Gyatso-kai

Player		        Goals	Games Scored
Kad'e TAY'HAAI	        07	MD2 (2), MD3 (1), MD5 (1), MD7 (1), MD8 (1), MD9 (1)
WAKAHISA Hikaru		03	MD1 (1), MD2 (1), MD7 (1)
A'den SKIRATA		03	MD2 (1), MD3 (1), MD7 (1)
HIMURA Katsu		02	MD3 (1), MD10 (1)
Pre KRYSE		01	MD8 (1)
TSUKINO Hachiro		01	MD7 (1)

The Next Match

Preview: Matchday 11 at ₃₅₇Erikkesh

Last time, at home, we took on Erikkesh and came out with a 4-nil victory which boosted the Bison's morale to carry them into Cosumar and keep the demonic behemoths down to just two goals and continue through victorious. This time --- with Erikkesh dropping several places in rank to their current home of eighth out of nine --- we may see a similar result.

The Lineup for the Match

------------------------22------------------------
------------------------15------------------------
------02----------------05----------------03------
------------------------04------------------------
-----------18------------------------07-----------
------------------------08------------------------
-----------09------------------------10-----------

With the first test of the Diamond coming into a 1-1 draw, Head Coach Boba Vhett still wishes to experiment with the formation and believes a test against Erikkesh will be more telling. We will just have to wait and see how things turn out.

by **Civil Citizenry** » Fri Feb 03, 2012 9:44 pm

 COSUMAR 4,  CIVIL CITIZENRY 3 (AET)

BAKERS SCORERS:
Lester Sutton ('19), Powell Kingston ('66, '114)
BAKERS STARTERS:
G. Diamond, J. Scoville, R. Montgomery, A. Kemp
C. Mills, L. Sutton, O. Hastings, L. Goldwin
P. Kingston, J. Cedric, C. Drago
DRAGONS SCORERS:
Corey Simmons ('35), Luke Crisalus ('40),
Rikki Varshney ('96), Giovanni Aldinne ('108)
DRAGONS STARTERS:
T. Koskinen, W. Riley, A. Pearce, C. Na'Draughn, G. Umpton
A. Scarloff, G. Aldinne
R. Varshney, L. Crisalus, C. Simmons, F. Renault
Venue: unknown, Cosumar
Attendance: 15,019
Managers: Wladyslaw Bashirskaya (Bakers), Farris Crowley (Dragons)
Player of the Match: Powell Kingston
Team Records (since start of World Cup qualification): Bakers 6-3-4, Dragons 9-0-0

If there's any Citiz sports fan who recognizes the name Cosumar - and there are many Citiz sports fans, therefore many who may recognize Cosumar - he or she will likely make a connection to tennis. The national sport of Civil Citizenry, yes, the crown jewel of a prideful nation which delights in calling itself the world's best tennis nation, regardless of history or results. It was Cosumar which hosted the first tournament of a revitalized International Tennis Association (though it was the Citiz Tennis Administration which organized the new ITA, avid fans are hasty to point out), and the country had several top players in every event before inactivity fatally plagued the ITA.

When it comes to football, though, some may recall Abel Scarloff, the 24-year-old who played a key supporting role in Fox Zero's first King's League championship. Finished second in International POTY voting, and fourth in Offensive POTY, to boot. It's hard to stand out on a team like Fox Zero, which is packed with various Citiz nationals and a collection of stars from great faraway nations such as Starblaydia and Cafundéu (of course, it's just a coincidence those are both Atlantian Oceanic residents). However, with rumors swirling about that star Starblaydi Fernando "Star" Agostini will starrily retire, Scarloff has been heralded by football-following media as the man who will take up the mantle of the midfield.

However, in this context, the only assemblance that can be drawn from those digressions is that people just don't have a clue of what goes on in real, prestigious international football. Particularly, there has been little notice of the national Bakers' surprising near-upset of the Cosumarite Dragons, currently ranked sixteenth in the world and four times consecutively qualifiers to the World Cup proper. Facing a rabidly nepotistic fan-base in Cosumar, the Bakers were drawn even with the Dragons at the close of ninety minutes. A half hour later, though the defense had let two more goals escape it, Civil Citizenry had impressed upon the world that it is no longer the pushover that it once was.

Though the Dragons were able to win their ninth straight game, having not lost since the last World Cup group stage, it took two goals in extra time to set aside Civil Citizenry. This being a friendly match, manager Farris Crowley had few qualms with slotting Scarloff into the starting lineup; he did not disappoint the home crowd, opening up goals for Luke Crisalus in the fortieth minute and the game-winner by fellow oft-substitute Giovanni Aldinne.

For the Bakers, the man of the match was, for sure, Powell Kingston, whose two goals - including one in extra time - kept the team in the game from start to finish. Manager Wladyslaw Bashirskaya must have been displeased that the Citiz allowed two goals in the span of a half hour, but even when pressed, he did not visibly display anger. "What can you do?" he postulated. "Those guys have a superb team. The standalone fact that we battled through an extra thirty minutes is impressive. Add to that four world-class strikers bearing down on the defense, and it's not much wonder that they scored in multiplicity.

"The real wonder may be," he continued, "that they weren't able to score so efficiently earlier. And that's a testament not only to the heart and will of the defense, but also a high-caliber attack. Powell was at the top of his form today, he hasn't played this well in months, and I'm very pleased and I do believe those will become consistent comments of mine with regards to his play." Readers should not easily forget that most of the game was played with the absence of Ingram Ackleigh, the iconic Citiz athlete who earned a rest day after guiding the Bakers to a victory over Vilita in the Legends of the World Cup memorial competition.

If anyone should have the last word, it's team vice-captain and moral leader Taylor Renton. "I take so many positives out of this match. A loss hurts, yeah, but you know what? If this is the sort of play that we can put together, then I hope that the teams from now-deceased Chuckio (OOC: lol), Antoletia, Jeruselem, God knows where else, I hope they're all watching and they're scared out of their wits. Nearly beating number-sixteen-in-the-world is no easy task. Getting to the World Cup is even harder, but we've proven we have the fight and the willpower to get there."

by **Ossidiacqua** » Fri Feb 03, 2012 9:57 pm

Grand High Cardinal Giocomo Re, All Powerful Ruler of Men, Time, and Land?

No, too vague.

Brother Re, Father of the Land of Time?

No, too humble.

Giocomo Re, Grand High President, Keeper of the Golden Throne, Master of Time, and Conqueror of Men?

No, my throne isn't actually golden yet, don't want to jump the gun. Can always add that bit later.

Hmm.

His Presidential Highness, Grand High Cardinal Giocomo Re, Ruler of all He sees, Brother to All, Defender of the One True Faith, Prophet of the Machine Spirit, Master of the Obsidian Water, Champion of Truth, Light, and Virture, and Lord Creator of Time?

No, bit too long that one.

His Lordship, Grand High Cardinal Giocomo Re, Master of Ossidiacqua?

Hmm, perhaps. It will do for now, certainly.

Now, why isn't everyone shouting? I was lead to believe that the fans went insane cheering for la Renaissance. I mean, sure, that chap Nanklares has just made it 7-0 to the opposite side. The erm, erm, where are they from, Astrogoth? Something like that anyway. That's not important. Although perhaps if the team isn't playing so well, perhaps I should look into taking the management in for 'questioning' as well. What were their names again. Alessio Cardinale? Stefano Di Falco? Hm, certainly something to consider.

Speaking of which, I wonder how how Juan is getting on. He did make an awful fuss, didn't he? Something something held without charge something something no trial or access to lawyers something something his cell is damp and cold something something. Well, tough. That's just how enemies of the state get treated I'm afraid, Vaccari. You best get used to it. You might be there for an awfully long time, after all.

Oh my, I do believe I permitted myself a small chuckle there.

Oh tsk, there is dirt on my new golden robes. There. Filthy stadium. Why am I even here?

And why is everyone in the stadium staring at me? There's a footbal match on, people, look at the pitch, perhaps? I think its clear for anyone to see that la Renaissance need our support tonight more than ever before. Look at me for instance, well, they already are I guess, but I've got better places to be and I'm still here! There are people to coerce, admissions to extract, inquisitions to plan, and depositions to plot. I'd have this nation in the palm of my hand by teatime if it weren't for these blasted public appearances.

Well they needn't stare at me like that. The stadium is fine how it is, we don't need any nation's help. Ossidiacqua is proud! And we shall rise again on our own two feet! This is how it has been forseen, and I won't have it any other way. Besides, I'm in charge here, not them. This is my land, and I'll damn well do what I want. Vaccari was just in the way.

Oh look, and now that boy Slusarski has scored another one. Eight goals to nil. At Il Colosseo. Fancy that.

I thought this place was supposed to be loud! A hundred thousand Acquans and you could hear a pin drop.

Hmm.

His Presidential Highness, Grand High Cardinal Giocomo Re, Lord Prophet of the Machine Spirit, and Master of Ossidiacqua.

Yes, that will do nicely, I think. That will do very nicely indeed...

by **Andossa Se Mitrin Vega** » Fri Feb 03, 2012 11:12 pm

'Tis your friendly "take abreak from movie night and get some damn scores done" RP Cutoff.

MD11 Scores Now Available

by **Stachland** » Sat Feb 04, 2012 4:57 am

Stachland Reds

Better Know a Stachland: A Cultural Guide for Visiting Teams
by Witold Elliott

Mourn for our World Cup qualifying campaign, my friends, as at this point it is all but over. Too many soul-wrenching failures and wasted matches have put the Reds in a virtually insurmountable situation, and the Cup of Harmony would seem to beckon. Until then, please enjoy another brief illustration of the glories and beauties our nation has to offer visitors.

Bicycles are an incredibly common sight in Stachland, as the ban on vehicles which poison the environment has made automobiles increasingly scarce. For short rides, bicycles have become the preferred form of transport, while the national monorail system is used to quickly and efficiently transport Stachlanders from one part of the country to another.

Stachland's national animal, the mouse-stache, thrives in the National Biological Reserves, particularly those just beyond the limits of the city of Chevronia. The mouse-stache is typically known for its lean appearance and its long whiskers.

Populations of penguins have thrived in southern Stachland, particularly on several cold, remote beaches in the state of Termigen.

The coast of Sudamartina, an isolated island thousands of kilometers south of Stachland that has recently petitioned the Stachlandic government for admittance into the nation. The matter is currently being debated in our legislature, the Popular Congress, with a final determination to be made soon.

Until next time—enjoy the next round of matches in the World Cup!

by **Homelands our** » Sat Feb 04, 2012 7:31 am

Jamie Long hits a Hat-trick as The Doors see off Virabia 2-3

Well that's got to be our longest headline of the world cup, if not ever. Anyway that's not important when you see the result of the doors last match against Virabia. Being a fellow Rushmore nation we have to be a bit kinder to them than a nation in AO. Right let's get to it!

Ranked at place 45 and 2nd seeds in the group Virabia are seen as one of the top teams in the group and going into this match they were 2nd in the group, with us a lowly 8th. Wolfmanne are the only team lower than us and only a goal difference of two goals separate us and Wolfmanne, with us on -4 and Wolfmanne on -6.

The day before the match our manager had this to say "well Virabia, now they are a pretty good them, you must be if you are ranked 45th." on the subject of making it to the world cup "ok it is unlikely but as long as it is mathematically possible to make it then you can be sure that our team will play for it." on the defeat 1-0 to ipeland in a friendly a few matches back "ipeland are a good team, all teams are in this works cup, it's just how you play on the day." on the draw with Kalumba "they are ranked around 55th so you can't say that in would be an easy match"

On BSNWCH (Blue Sports News World Cup Hour) the presenter had a go at predicting the result. "1-0 no got to be more but I do think that we will score so I am going to go for a 3-1 win for Virabia" that's the presenters prediction. Now for football pundit Marc Le Sa to predict "interesting one but I can't see a 174 ranked side coming to beat the 45th best team in the world but I could see us getting a goal but it will be a walkover, I'm going to go for a 5-2 win for Virabia." If that's not interesting then I don't know what is both a top pundit and a person who follows football think that we are going to go down. By saying that we are not on trial for anything.

Over on HOSCWCLA (Homelands Our Sporting Channel World Cup Look Ahead) a similar program was also on air. This one however looked further into our goalie, Andrew Herkison and if he would come back from injury (more on this later). It looked at if our current manager is the right person for the job, the manager gave no comment on this at his press conference. After all that we finally got go the prediction time. First off the Island of Jersey FC, who have won the past two HOSL boss, Michael Hope gave his thoughts "well I think that it could be the underdogs day just like us making the playoff stage on the TQCC and therefore the globe cup group stage, homelands our will win 2-0." That's a confident person.

Now onto the betting odds 3 hours before the match. A Virabia win was at 3-1, a score draw at 5-1, a nil-nil draw at 16-3 and a Homelands Our win at 4-1. From that you can see that a draw was thought to be very unlikely.

On to our team news. The condition of Andrew Herkison who is our goal keeper we closely followed. He would play once more after missing the ipeland friendly dew to suspension and the 1-1 draw with Kalumba dew to a minor injury which was picked up at training. The rest of the first team was as normal. Jamie Long would be captain and if the unthinkable were to happen and Long to get sent off then James Dact would take over.

So the build up was over, the team was in Virabia and fans were ready, the match was on.

Or was it the police has to leave 15 minutes before kick off to attend a fire in a different part of the city. This caused confusion for fans of both nations, the VoiceOver simply told fans to 'sit down and the match will begin shortly'. Did the match begin shortly, NO! However after a couple of hours and with the lights on the match could start.

No time for fire now, the match had began. Virabia being the home team kicked off the match under the lights. Jamie long slid in as soon as the ball came over into the Homelands Our half and ran forward. Crossing the ball into the box, Dact's header came back off the post to Longs feet. Goal!!!! Homelands Our one up, fans cheer, long thanks them before the team goes back to starting positions. Virabia in anger after conceding now had even more reason yo play 0-0-10 but only sent 6 forward. In the 34th minute Virabia won a corner. They played it out short. They crossed it in. It was met by the head of Karl Gadi. It went to the feet of a Virabia player. Powerful shot. Back of the net. Virabia had scored, they had pulled it back to 1-1. With the ball at long's feet the game began once more. Our attacking move looked to be successful but just before Long entered the box a Virabia slid in and the ball was gone. 2 extra minutes were to be added on at the end of the half. Virabia had got the ball in the back of the next. A cross was missed be everyone in the box and it end in the goal. Half time then came with Virabia after coming back from 1-0 down leading 2-1.

Well look at that what a half of football let's hope for more of the same forthe next half.

With the ball touched by a homelands our player (Long) 45 more minutes of football began. Knowing that they were losing the players went forward more than ever. A corner was the perfect chance to score a goal. The corner was taken by a Virabia player as Virabia had won the corner. Herkison however was on top form now and kept on tipping the ball away from the goal. Dact broke away with Long. A short pass to Long sent the Virabia keeper the wrong way and enabled Long to tap the ball home for his second. 80 minutes had now passed the score was 2-2 ten nail biting minutes to decide this match. Virabia kept on pushing for a winner at one end but nothing was getting past Herkison. 2 more minutes of added time. Long broke down in search of his first hat-trick of this world cup. Into the box. The goalie trips him. Penalty! Chants of 'THIS IS IT, THIS IS IT' were coming from the Homelands Our fans seated at the other end of the stadium. Long kicks it. The goalie tips it wide. Corner. Dact kicks it past the box to Long. From the wing Jamie Long takes a shot. Back of the net! What a turnaround in this second half 2-1 to 2-3. Full time.

Chants of LONG, LONG, JAMIE LONG, LONG, LONG JAMIE LONG are sung from homelands our fans.

Group 7 Standings
Team P W D L For Ag +/- Pts
1 Qazox 10 7 2 1 22 9 +13 23
2 Virabia 10 6 1 3 17 12 +5 19
3 Chenkorya 9 4 3 2 9 7 +2 15
4 Kalumba 10 3 4 3 10 12 -2 13
5 Sjovenia 10 3 3 4 8 10 -2 12
6 Switzida 10 3 3 4 10 14 -4 12
7 Homelands Our 10 3 2 5 8 11 -3 11
8 Turori 9 3 0 6 13 15 -2 9
9 Wolfmanne 10 2 2 6 12 19 -7 8

by **Wight** » Sat Feb 04, 2012 9:01 am

by **Ipeland** » Sat Feb 04, 2012 9:14 am

The Sporting Ipeland: Stats, facts and opinions Issue #319, March 20th

History repeats itself
French Scandinavia almost upset us AGAIN

History literally repeated itself yesterday, as Ipeland, going nicely at 4th in Group 15, taking 13 points from a possible 24, faced new nation French Scandinavia, who were sitting in 6th place on 9 points, a respectable position. Both sets of fans were hoping to win and get off to a nice start to the second half of qualifying. Many of the bookmakers around the country predicted a 3 or 4 goal win for the home side, but they'd have to wait and see.

For the first thirty minutes, the away team dominated possession, and had some good attacks, the shots being saved by keeper/manager Deniel Stainag in the end. French Scandinavia scored the first goal of the match. House Sparrow Fogherty watched on from the sidelines as an unknown striker fired past Stainag, who looked like he'd been frozen in the freezing conditions, as the ball whizzed past his outstretched hands. Ipeland came back into the end of the match, but had no success on goal. The first half ended 1-0 to the Scandinavians.

Ipeland kicked off the second half unchanged, but with a more attacking style. Ipeland looked a bit more livelier and scored an equalizer in the 81st minute after piling on a lot of pressure. The Sparrows first free kick of the second half was headed beautifully in by Kevin Texan, one of his many goals for the national team. A few minutes later, Ipeland completed took the lead and had completed the comeback, Stuart Holden's corner, pushed on by the wind, going directly into the top right corner. Ipeland pushed for a third until the whistle, but no luck. But we won, albeit a closer score than the bookies thought.

Table n' scores
Gyatso-kai 1-1 Darmen
Ipeland 2-1 French Scandinavia
Octinstine 0-2 Burchadinger
Neo Japan 1-2 Cosumar

# Team                    P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
1 Cosumar                 9  9  0  0  33   8  +25  27
2 Burchadinger            9  5  1  3  16   9   +7  16
3 Ipeland                 9  5  1  3  18  15   +3  16
4 Gyatso-kai              9  4  2  3  17  12   +5  14
5 Darmen                  9  3  4  2  11   9   +2  13
6 French Scandinavia      9  2  3  4   7  12   -5   9
7 Octinstine              9  3  0  6  10  18   -8   9
8 Erikkesh                8  2  2  4   6  15   -9   8
9 Neo Japan               9  0  1  8   2  22  -20   1

ISideWith UK · by **Eastfield Lodge** » Sat Feb 04, 2012 9:35 am

[i]Another post from http://www.bloggercentral.efl/Shabeen_Ahmad_III/post4[i/]:

Hello there football fans, this is your latest update on that footballing competition called the World Cup. When I last left you, we'd just beaten Karlada 3-0, so from there I have 4 matches for you to catch up on. Of those, there will be highlights of the Triimoria home match and The Kangaroo Republic away match, and my generic match reports for Zona Azul and Numbadon.

Anyways, the Zona Azul match was on the matchday 7, prior to which we were holding second place by one point ahead of The Kangaroo Republic, with Valanora 2 points ahead. Therefore this was a match we had to win to supplement our advantage in second place and catch up the leader. But I didn't realise the importance of that match, and sent out a wholly second string team of players, or in other words, all of the reserves, just so they could get some experience. But a lack of experience showed and the Zona Azulians quickly put two goals past Advis within 1000 seconds of the starting whistle. At which point the reserves found their learning curve going steeply upwards, and just 9 minutes later, Meldin pulled one back with a superb overhead kick. Still didn't perturb the opposition, and they reinstated the lead at two goals 3 minutes before half time. I decided not to make any changes, and the team came out all guns blazing, and within 5 minutes, the Zona Azulian keeper was knocked out by the force of Albert's shot. Being forced to replace their keeper meant that we could catch up. And on the hour mark, the comeback began, with Witself getting in the way of a goalmouth clearance and scoring. Lucky, some may say, but nowhere near as lucky as the equaliser. How the ref spotted that shirt tug in a 21-player-strong crowd (everyone except the corner-kick taker was in the box) is beyond me, but a shirt pull in the box is a penalty, so Meldin stepped up for the last kick of the game and made it 3-3.

And now, this is your full match video of the EL-Triimoria match, with commentary from my good friends Kyle Etherington and Pablo Acquet:
*video starts*

Kyle: "Welcome one and all to this gloomy day here in Marepacopolis Park, where it is a bone-chilling -6 degrees and there is a heavy snowstorm heading right this way, predicted to hit us around half time. Of course, being downriver of some Serenelian mountains doesn't help, but that isn't going to stop today's match between Eastfield Lodge and Triimoria. The players are coming out wrapped up nice and warm for this standing part, and they are lining up for the national anthems, but they may be hard to hear due to the howling wind. Over to Pablo for the lineups."

Pablo: "Thanks Kyle. Triimoria are looking for an opportunity to repeat their beating of us in the Market Cup, in the process leapfrogging us in the qualifying table. So they will be bringing out a full strength starting XI, with Farmer in goal, Maxwell, D'Awesome, Jimjemja and Hansen in defence, Fred, Atov, Quitazotl and Forsyth in midfield and Galeria and Ozzaguira up front. For the EL team, Ahmad had decided to match the Triimorian sheet and is also calling upon a full strength starting eleven, with Mintson in goal, and a defence of Callahan, X, and Krindle. The midfielders will be Glinforth, Longford, O'Henly, Diop and Alexson, and Ordaz and Graham close out the team up front. Shabeen will be looking to secure victory here before heading into the bye-date and the mid-qualifying break."

(6 minutes)

Kyle: "... The ref wants a word with Quitazotl and he shows him the yellow card. The Krytie referee today is Lorenzo Sanchez, and I'm not sure how Quitazotl thought he was getting away with that tackle on O'Henly. Alexson to take the free kick. He crosses it into the box and it's met by Graham!! Wide. What a wasted opportunity by Thomas Graham to put the EL team in the lead. 40-yard cross by Alexson and Graham manages to his way in behind his marker and onto the back post, only to head across the face of goal and out."

(8 minutes)

Kyle: "Longford steals the ball of Atov and passes it wide to O'Henly. O'Henly crosses it to Alexson, who is forced to pass it backwards to Ordaz. Ordaz spots Diop running and sends the ball to him. Diop beats the last defender and SCORES! Farmer beaten at his near post by Samner Diop and Eastfield Lodge are leading this one just 8 minutes into it."

Pablo: "Good pass by Ordaz to set up the opportunity and Diop did really well to get past Hansen. After that, it was a simple shot."

Kyle: "Farmer is furious at the defence, Hansen in particular, for not closing down that pass early enough, but it's his fault he let the goal in, so I'm not sure why he's complaining."

(21 minutes)

Kyle: "Farmer with the goal kick, finds Quitazotl, who knocks it down for Atov. Atov lifts it for Maxwell. Maxwell beats Diop and crosses. Cross punched away by Mintson, but only as far as Quitazotl, who hits it first time! And it's deflected in! Quitazotl's volley takes a deflection off ... Callahan's head, I think that is, or rather, the back of it, and completely roots Mintson to his goal line. Own goal by Toby Callahan, definitely."

Pablo: "Really unfortunate that. Callahan is trying to stop Galeria from getting his head on the ball, but Galeria fools Callahan into heading the ball into his own net. 1-1, so game on."

(38 minutes)

Kyle: "... Mintson collects the bad pass and clears. Alexson and Atov fight for the ball, both miss it. Quitazotl and Graham chase for it - Graham falls. Sanchez thinks for a moment and calls for a foul. Quitazotl is already booked, and Sanchez wants a word ... but no card. It was an unnecessary foul really, Hansen would have got to the ball if Quinn had let it go. Graham and Alexson standing over the free kick. Alexson step upto it and knocks it towards Graham. Graham shoots! And Farmer saves it! Ordaz for the rebound! Cleared off the line by Hansen. And Farmer collects the loose ball."

Pablo: "Extremely close to regaining the lead there, but Ordaz should really have scored that rebound. It might have fallen awkwardly onto his shin, but that needed more power and height."

Kyle: "Still 1-1 here in this match, but both EL forwards close to making it two."

(52 minutes)

Kyle: "Both sides have started this second half on a more cautious approach, but that might change now. O'Henly on the flank, running at D'Awesome. D'Awesome trips him. Sanchez calls foul and warns D'Awesome. O'Henly takes the free kick quickly and Longford gets the ball. He sees Alexson drop off Atov, and passes to him. Alexson returns the one-two with a cross. Longford in behind the defence and he shoots. Brilliant save by Farmer to deny Longford."

Pablo: "Good move by Longford and Alexson, but good save by Farmer to keep the scores level. But the Triimorian defence are struggling with the movement of the EL players. Forsyth is completely useless, and Fred is getting stretched covering for him. But it looks like Kalling shares my sentiments and is bringing on Rod Al in Forsyth's place, and Forsyth isn't too pleased at his manager's decision."

(67 minutes)

Kyle: "Al with the ball for Triimoria, and he passes it forward to Quitazotl. Quitazotl wide to Maxwell. Maxwell crosses into the box, Callahan clears. Ball falls to Quitazotl, who shoots. Glinforth blocks it for a corner, but the Triimorian players are now claiming handball. Lorenzo Sanchez waves away the claims. Quitazotl takes the corner and Ozzaguira diving at the near post! Wide, and Ozzaguira will be annoyed that he mistimed that dive, and the EL team have been let off the hook. Now then, did Triimoria have a legitimate claim for handball? When the ball strikers Glinforth, she's moving her arms in towards her side, but it looks like she's just trying to get them out of the ball's way."

Pablo: "I'm not sure. She makes it look like ball-to-hand, but I think she's done that deliberately, to stop the ball from getting to any of the other players after a deflection. I think either decision would be justified on its own merit, so it could have gone either way."

(85 minutes)

Kyle: "Ordaz with the ball outside the Triimoria box. He passes it back to Glinforth, out to O'Henly on the wing. O'Henly cross ... and how close did Hansen get to beating his own keeper. O'Henly's cross, and Hansen completely fails to jump correctly, and as a result heads the ball onto the crossbar and out for a corner."

"Alexson with the corner, clearing header from Fred, Glinforth crosses it back in - and the ref's signalling for a penalty. He's getting out red and yellow cards, I presume for Quitazotl. And ... no, he's shown the yellow card to Hansen, and he's standing there in disbelief, arguing that he wasn't at fault. Sanchez however is not listening, and is going over to Quitazotl. He does look a bit shifty, and he's looked guiltily at his manager. Sanchez ... yellow card, and then the red. Quitazotl has been sent off, and with just 5 or so minutes left on the clock, Triimoria are a man down, but they may also be a goal down unless Farmer can stop Graham."

"Graham looks at the ball, then at Farmer, and then runs up. Goal! Top right hand corner, and Farmer rooted to his patch. But this is interesting. Sanchez is now going straight at Hansen, and is showing a second yellow card. Hansen's also been sent off, and Triimoria will be playing out these last few minutes two men down! Kalling looks infuriated, and he's actually gone onto the pitch and has started having words with Sanchez. Bad idea, mate, and Kalling has just been sent off as well. So now, Triimoria are two men down, a goal down, and now a manager down."

Pablo: "Looking at the replays, I've figured out what Hansen was booked for in the first place, and it's when Glinforth is crossing the ball. Hansen is holding onto O'Henly's shirt and actually pulls him down slightly. And then before Sanchez blows the whistle, Quitazotl sticks out his arm and stops Glinforth's cross. He seems to think that he could get away with the same offence that he believes Glinforth committed just 20 minutes earlier. Sanchez blows his whistle for both, and dishes out the relevant cards. As for Hansen's red on the other hand, the only thing I can think of is dissent, and I think when the EL team are going off to celebrate the goal, Hansen says something and Sanchez penalises him for it."

(94 minutes)

Kyle: "Just a few seconds left of the three minutes of added time, and the EL team are leading 2-1 in this very entertaining game, especially towards the end. Callahan with the ball, wide to Krindle. Krindle clears it forward, and Sanchez calls full time on his whistle. The final score is Eastfield Lodge 2 Triimoria 1, and Shabeen will be happy with this result."

*video ends*

Well then, that win meant that going into the break, we were in second place, with Valanora effectively runaway group winners and The Kangaroo Republic just a point behind us and with a match against us next. Triimoria were fourth with a point less than TKR.

*TKR match video*

Pablo: "TKR vs. EL. A match which will probably decide who has the upper hand going into the second half of qualifying, in the race for the playoff spot. I'm sure Shabeen has told you of the situation involving the tables, from your perspective. I'm just predicting what he'll do in is blog post. Anyways, it is a fine day here in Riviruz, and TKR have just had revolts going on in the city prior to this game. They seemed to have calmed down now, and the stadium is buzzing with anticipation. The teams are now coming out, and while the national anthems are going on, Kyle will give you all the low down on the team line-ups."

Kyle: "The biggest news is that Shabeen has chosen Witself over Graham, with reports that the striker is suffering from a debilitating virus. This may put a serious dent in the attacking firepower the EL team have, and with the EL team having a worse defensive record than TKR, while having an equal offensive record, might swing the match in TKR's favour. TKR will be playing with what I believe is their starting eleven, so it should be a close match."

(14 minutes)

Pablo: "Not much has happened in the first quarter of an hour, but that may change right now. Longford finds Alexson. Alexson one-twos with Ordaz and shoots! Over the bar, a rather pathetic attempt in the circumstances. But the game is beginning to show some signs of life. Døzekom with the goal kick, short to Boerde. Boerde allowed to turn, wide to Karp. Karp sees Dizau's run and hits it to the opposite flank. Dizau beats Diop and crosses it in. Yamamoto beats Callahan to the ball and scores! Brilliant header by Yamamoto to beat Mintson. 1-0 to TKR after 16 minutes."

Kyle: "What was X thinking? Once Diop failed to land the tackle, she should have stepped up to get Dizau, or Glinforth should have done that. Poor defending really."

(23 minutes)

Pablo: "The floodgates have been opened in this match after the Kangaroo Republic went 1-0 up courtesy of Yamamoto's head. But right now, EL have the ball, and Glinforth has spotted Diop's run at the centre back. Glinforth's long ball forward meets Diop, who heads back towards Ordaz. Ordaz allowed to turn and beat Tezannge. Ordaz shoots! And scores! 25 yards out, and Ordaz has blasted in the equaliser in this match. Døzekom had no chance, the ball was swerving away from him and into the top corner. 7 minutes after they went up 1-0, TKR have been pulled back to 1-1."

Kyle: "Now that is how to score an inactive in your own half. Quick movement, precise movement, and a powerful shot to round it all off. Perfect."

(30 minutes)

Pablo: "...TKR are been piling on the pressure now, and they want to restore their lost lead. Dant now with the ball, tackle by O'Henly. Ball falls to Boerde, who passes it forward to Paetrov. Paetrov lays it off sideways for Enda. Enda advances with the ball, takes it onto his right foot and shoots. Blocked by Callahan and out for a corner. Dizau with the corner, cross whipped in and Enda meets it! In! Completely unmarked at the back post, Enda just nodded Dizau's corner into the corner of the net to make the lead 2-1."

Kyle: "Where was his marker? I'll tell you where. Absolutely no-where to be seen. That was a pathetic goal for the EL team to concede."

(54 minutes)

Pablo: "... Dizau takes the free kick, cleared by Callahan. Only as far as Jevjøki. Jevjøki knocks it forward to Inande, who's run clear of the defense. Inande - scores! 3-1 to TKR, and Inande has just sown this match right up for his team. But the question is, isn't it offside? The defenders clearly think so. And the replays? Well, they show that ... Inande is clearly offside when the ball is played to him, but someone shone a laser pen right into the linesman's eyes at precisely the moment the ball was played, so Inande got away with it, luckily."

Kyle: "I'm leaving now. Got stuff to do back home which is better than this."
Pablo: "Oh come on, TKR are beginning to tighten their defence, so we won't concede any more goals."
Kyle: "We won't score any more either, so this match is effectively finished."

Pablo: "Apologies for Kyle running out like that, but it looks like I'm doing this on my own. Actually, I'm going to go as well. I'll get really tired of my own voice by the end of this."

*camera pans out to show whole studio, and then shuts down as Pablo kicks a plug*

*video ends*

Umm... OK, well, the match finished 3-1 to TKR, but not without its controversies. Especially two late on, one which was where Meldin had a goal ruled out due to offside when it wasn't, and the other which was where Boerde handballed Ordaz's shot but the penalty wasn't given. Aside from that, both sides came close to scoring 3 or 4 more in total.

Moving on, my colleagues refused to commentate the Numbadon match, but all I can tell you is that we won 3-1, and Thomas Graham came back from his virus with a hat-trick in ten minutes, between the sixtieth and the seventieth minutes. Numbadon's goal came as a Callahan own goal.

And with that, here is the table:

Group 11 Standings

   Team                        P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
 1 Valanora                   10  9  1  0  21   6  +15  28
 2 Eastfield Lodge            10  5  3  2  18  14   +4  18
 3 The Kangaroo Republic       9  5  2  2  17   8   +9  17
 4 Carpathia and Ruthenia     10  4  2  4  10  11   -1  14
 5 Triimoria                   9  4  1  4  14  12   +2  13
 6 Chrinthanium               10  3  3  4  17  19   -2  12
 7 Zona Azul                  10  2  2  6   9  19  -10   8
 8 Numbadon                   10  2  1  7  10  17   -7   7
 9 Karlada                    10  2  1  7  11  21  -10   7

Next few matches for us are Chrinthanium away, Carpathia and Ruthenia away, and then Valanora at home, so a rather tough line up.

by **Seunem** » Sat Feb 04, 2012 10:25 am

http://billsebastiaan.wordspotpressblogs.com
Bill & Sebastiaan’s Notes on Cultural Anthropology and That

Friday, 3 February 2012

Child A-Born

For the fifth time this calendar year, we cannot help but turn our attentions to the sudden, strange presence of Seunem on the international stage via the medium of sport.

One cannot have international football without a national anthem, preferably two, or at least one national anthem and a minute or so of cheerful booing. But what of the Bonded Provinces, a union with no pretence of upholding the trappings of modernity? The country has no national anthem, nor its public any conception of why they would wish to have one, leaving the Prancing Cart Horses in something of a pickle.

The solution has come in the form of The Ballad of Winstan Joseph a’ Jent, according to the notes kindly handed to us by our source within the Cart Horses’ camp, perhaps more popularly known as Child A-Born in Seunemi Sands.

By ‘popularly’, of course, we mean among those opposition supporters, intrigued neutrals and television viewers who’ve had the misfortune to be subjected to the ghastly dirge; for Child A-Born must be one of the least inspiring anthems on offer in World Cup football today. Taking well over four minutes to plough through its fourteen dire verses, the national team squad appears still yet to settle on anything approaching a tune, and there is no musical accompaniment to lighten the morbid load. Sebastiaan, who knows about such things rather better than I, suggests Martin Carthy’s 1965 recording of Ye Mariners All, but at last glance Mister Thomas, Merrytent a. Paschal’s red and white army appear to be favouring some variant on Jingle Bells, with at least four of the middle verses generally now rapped at breakneck speed by the more urban members of the starting XI in a desperate attempt to get them out of the way before everyone develops frostbite.

Seb certainly believes that Child A-Born is a far from popular number among the modern-day Seunemi population, and the reasons for its adoption in this manner are entirely opaque. Its age and origins remain wholly uncertain, though it seems likely to stretch back many decades if not a century or more, and the elements that mark the song out as a more traditional ballad of a tragic love affair (of sorts) are likely to be older still. Both Seb and I cannot claim to have undertaken especially thorough studies of Seunem’s musical heritage during our respective sojourns in the Cove, but neither of us considers the song to be one of the country’s finer efforts in any regard, and its subject matter renders it a truly bizarre choice for a patriotic hymn.

Nevertheless, there are those who have enquired as to the meanings of certain words and references, and we wouldn’t want to disappoint the baying hordes, would we? Seb duly set about the onerous task of fisking one of the worlds’ worst national anthems, but entirely lost heart after the first two or three verses so I bravely volunteered to complete his work.

How I wish I hadn’t bothered. I’ll remember this time, at the pearly gates. I’ll never get it back.

“O, Winstan Joseph a’ Jent was he
Parish o’ Saint Lull a’ the Hinterland
Sired in the soft of old Robin’s tree
A child a-born in Seunemi sands”

Winstan Joseph a’ Jent ~ The central figure of the ballad himself is of obscure provenance – unlike many of the subjects of popular songs in Seunem he does not, as far as I am aware, appear beyond these verses and I cannot attest to his historical personage nor literary antecedents. My personal records do not list a Jent ffamily, and the (by Seunemi reckoning, at least) unflattering elements of the character might suggest that the ffamily of his birth was invented for the purpose, to avoid causing offense to a known clan. Just as probably, the Jent ffamily may by now have withered enough in size (or, indeed, have never been large) to no longer maintain any significant impact in Seunemi society; have become extinct entirely; or not to be found within mainstream society as embodied by the cities of Cove and Port Town.

I do, however, note the existence of a Janty ffamily long known and respected for their tunic production, which would certainly appear to validate the first line of the second verse.

The Joseph ffamily are certainly real and extant, as likewise respectable purveyors of what may effectively be considered ‘meals-on-wheels’, though it evidently cannot be clear from the name if the song refers to a ffamily proper or another of Winstan’s Christian names.

My source here renders and as a’, though the more common Seunemi form would be ‘a.’.

Parish o’ &c. ~ Beneath the level of the five provinces, Seunem has no local government to speak of, with the principle territorial divisions being in the form of the many hundreds of parishes in the Cove alone, each with its one own (formally recognised) church and bishop (the only recognised title for ordained clergy beneath that of the Archbishop of the State Church). The Parish of Saint Lull is an anonymous area of Cove’s impoverished urban sprawl, and presumably the original home of Winstan’s mother (of the Joseph ffamily), though my personal records fail alas to stretch as far as making a confident connection between the ffamily and parish.

The Hinterland is Seunem’s largest province by geography by quite some measure, though in all probability the second least populous after the isle of Spanier. The line would suggest that the Jent ffamily, or at least Winstan’s father, originated from here, though even in the contemporary period the ffamily system has little bearing in the Hinterland’s largely desperate, subsistence farming, communities.

Sired in the soft &c. ~ Conceived beneath Old Robin’s Tree, a stone structure – supposedly naturally occurring, though I did not find the opportunity to examine it closely during my time with the Seunemi – some twelve feet in height, still found on what remains of the Cove’s beach. The origin of the name is unclear, though the Seunemi have long held a fascination with the stories of Robin Hood.

“A life in cloth set fair for he
And the kise of fair Kytte, all flaxen strands
Still yet deaved to the song of the sea
That calls all men of Seunemi sands”

A life in cloth ~ Evidence towards a connection with the Janty ffamily, though many such clans hold deeds for clothing manufacture of some kind across multiple generations. The use of ‘set fair for he’ suggests that Winstan could have expected to make a decent living from his part in the ffamily business.

The kise of fair Kytte ~ A play on words, between ‘kiss’ (in this context, the romantic love and/or prospect of sexual favours of Kytte) and the country’s currency, the ‘kiser’ (kee-ser). Kiser itself, however, is believed to be a back formation from ‘kissers’, still commonly used to refer to the base unit of currency, the black kiser, in reference to the depictions of the child monarchs Pricion and Sarra on the coins sitting face to face. The couple’s innocent young love, stretching into adulthood and a short but celebrated reign, maintains a profound effect on Seunemi attitudes towards love, sex and marriage. Winstan, as well as Kytte’s affections, can evidently also expect a significant dowry into the bargain – a reference that dates the piece somewhat, with the practise no longer widely observed.

‘Kytte’, an unusually popular girl’s name in a country where novelty, at least within the immediate ffamily circle, is valued, is today pronounced to rhyme with ‘mighty’, though the presumed phrasing of the song would suggest an earlier, single syllable pronunciation. Kytte is, of course, a blonde – a much valued physical feature, with blond(e) hair and/or blue eyes relatively unusual, owing in part to the genetic legacy of early inter-marriage with native peoples.

Still yet deaved &c. ~ ‘Deaved’ is ‘deaf’, though in the sense that we would refer to someone as being wilfully ‘blind’ to the truth, or internal or external influences.

Given that the Seunemi have never been great travellers since arriving in their land, the notion that ‘all men’ from the country find themselves ‘called to the sea’ is a somewhat eccentric one.

“Then Kytte and Win and his sucky-brother trot
From Ahawking Gate, this merry band
Awhile the maid schemed her squander’d plot
For this lamb-milk lad of Seunemi sand”

‘Then’ ~ The use of then, and the sudden leap forward in the story, suggests that at least one verse has rather gone AWOL. Certainly, its or their absence doesn’t help our understanding of the tale or its supposed significance.

sucky-brother ~ One who has shared one’s mother’s teat – an adopted sibling, or another child for whom Winstan’s mother acted as a wet nurse.

Ahawking Gate ~ A wide road leading through what is now the Cove’s suburbs and into the rural province of Down, once a popular locale for the gentlemen’s sport of hunting with hawks, though this now more commonly takes place in the Hinterland. The gate itself appears to have been disassembled at least two centuries ago.

Her squander’d plot &c. ~ From lamb-milk lad, it is made clear early on that Winstan is an effeminate homosexual – the ballad, as far as I can ascertain, is thus ultimately a morality tale, warning of the inevitable misery of undertaking what, in deference to the traditional Seunemi viewpoint, I am regretfully forced to refer to as a ‘lifestyle choice’.

From Kytte’s perspective, at any rate, it is clear that her plans for herself and Winstan are soon about to be proven less than fruitful.

“And neathen bow her gift was set
The cloth a-loyned for the pale and tan
But silly Win’s thoughts were fancied yet
For that as shared juice of the palest sands”

Oh, you can probably work it out, frankly, if you can be bothered.

Beneath a tree, Kytte removes enough of her undergarments (depending on the fashions of the particular time period, this may involve special equipment presumably brought along for the journey) to make herself available for Winstan’s, ah, deployment. The ‘silly’ (foolish, weak-minded) Winstan, however, only has eyes for his adoptive brother.

The allusion to ‘the palest sands’ in relation to his mother’s breasts appears to my mind to be particularly adventurous.

“And with sweet Kytte left a holy mound
Winstan harried east to the boiling strand
Twenty kissers to clutch and Delhi-bound
Far fra’ the heap of his sweet and Seunemi sands”

A holy mound ~ Her virginity still intact. As well as, presumably, Kytte being left sitting in a literal heap and more than likely requiring a crane to get back up.

The boiling strand ~ The raging seas found east of the Cove’s coastlines, ‘ave-a-banana.

Delhi-bound ~ This one is a bit of a puzzler – I can only imagine that it may be an oblique reference to the continental Rushmori state of Delamawaria which has, it must be said, previously held a reputation in some areas of the region for a welcoming attitude towards immigrants of non-mainstream sexual orientation untypical for the period.

Fra’ ~ They mean ‘from’. Fra’ is presumably more poetic, cf. sqander’d.

As any member of the Seunem national team will tell you, this fifth verse is a bugger to make scan.

“In Cove’s belly dear, his saviour seen
Brimfit, fat, though far from grand
For tw’hundred days in the hawry breen
And three dozen childs of Seunemi sands”

In the city’s much-loved (if, by the modern period, almost wholly abandoned) ports, Winstan sees an appropriate vessel in which to make his escape – a large (fat) ship capable of undertaking long sea journeys (brimfit) alongside some thirty-plus men (there are presumably worse ways to spend six months).

‘Hawry’ is purplish-blue; ‘breen’ is a brownish-green. Which is clearly slightly problematic, unless they’re referring here to a firm of Texan solicitors or a soliciting member of a mysterious alien species. Or they’ve possibly got confused with ‘briny’, as in ‘depths’.

I’m past caring, to be honest. He’s on a boat!, let’s just go with that.

‘Childs’ is the common Seunemi form of ‘children’, and why not?

“But the rothen rush would prove too much
For in the deep t’was o’ermanned
And Cove a-heren no word for a week and such
‘Till Win washed a-strand on Spanier sands”

Evidently this running-away-from-Seunemi-with-lots-of-other-boys lark is pretty popular; this ship is carrying too many people in the fierce sea (‘rothen rush’). A week and a bit later, Winstan’s body is found on Spanier’s seashore.

“And they brought him back to this shore of his
Sat him down round table for he could not stand
Propped him up with sticks and a quart of piss
No thoughts anymore o’ Seunemi sands.”

‘He could not stand’ is, I suppose, ambiguous enough to keep one guessing as to whether Winstan has snuffed it or not by this point.

I haven’t got the faintest clue about the quart of piss. Presumably there’s not much point wasting good beer (or mead, more likely… see, Seb, I have been paying attention!) on a dead man slash wannabe Delamawarian.

“And his soul to the sea, a-clift fra’ bones
As a fishie-little-little, speckled or bland
Chased by Cap’n Swan and Dampnacio Jones
Where the waters meet the Seunemi sands.”

And his soul to the sea ~ Many native, or ‘Barbary’, tribes in the west of Seunem believe (or at least, it should be stressed, those self-appointed experts on their affairs in the Cove believe they believe) that the souls of the restless dead ultimately ‘return’ to the sea. The majority European population do not appear to have picked up this belief on a religious level, and the writer may just be being all poetic again (he can’t help shoving another fra’ in there, certainly), though it may also be a reference to the nature of the object of Winstan’s desires, As We Shall See.

Fishie-little-little ~ God knows. At least we’re getting an idea now of who half-inched all the mead.

Cap’n Swan and Dampnacio Jones ~ Not uncommon figures from Seunemi folklore, particularly among sailors. By the modern period, myths involving the pair vary considerably – Captain Swan appears to have been saved from drowning by a passing mermaid, who gave him the ability to turn into a giant swan in return for his eternal devotion. The stories appear divided as to whether she was left a holy mound or not. Who knows, really, with mermaids? He spent the rest of his days chasing fish around, anyway, speckled and bland alike.

Damnation Jones may be based in part on foreign sailors’ references to Davy Jones, he of the locker. I’m just guessing though, I’m just killing time until Pointless comes on, really.

“And father, brother and sucky-brother meet
And mariners two and two sires grand
A corner each to Carnallsolde-street
To eternal sleep in Seunemi sands”

Clearly propping the poor sod up with sticks didn’t do much good, for Winstan is now in a coffin (ooh, get ‘er, an actual coffin. V. flash), and being carried by a couple of sailor chums (who presumably successfully navigated the rothen rush and lovelorn mermaids) and his grandfathers to the nearest graveyard. And happily, according to the map in front of me, there’s still one to this day running alongside Carnallsolde-street. Quite a lot of running happens in Carnallsolde-street, I should think, based on the name. And even more catching.

“All a-sob in the losenges, Kytte then did a-spy
The suckled black hare, life in his hands
And cradling Win’s lemon, beredend with a sigh
To stem th’ weep that springs from Seunemi sands.”

A-sob in the losenges ~ She’s crying amongst the gravestones, the silly bint.

The suckled black hare ~ Aha! ‘Black hare’ being a cheerily racist reference to the sort of young Barbary man who goes around knobbing other people’s birds, holy mounded or otherwise. Winstan’s ‘brother’, and the object of his now sleepy affections, is of native extraction, presumably rescued from a child sacrifice or… something. Maybe Win’s ma and pa had a bit of the Madonnas-and-other-peoples-childs about them. Thanks to those missing verses, we don’t get to find out.

Life in his hands ~ Presumably they’re just pointing out that the unnamed sucky-brother is capable of getting Kytte up the duff, which is more than you can say for dear old Winstan.

Unless he’s dangling his mankin in front of her, all provocative like.

Cradling Win’s lemon ~ Cuddling Winstan’s sweetheart or lover (more of the former than the latter, clearly), though the term ‘lemon’ has also been used in Seunemi writings to refer to one’s best friend or otherwise closest ally, so it’s not wholly clear who’s actually doing the cradling here. It takes two to tango though, you mucky pair.

Beredend with a sigh ~ Made up his/her mind to do something, though without great enthusiasm and with a sense of obligation (probably influenced by ‘burdened’).

Th’ weep that springs from Seunemi sands ~ She’s all of a-sob, he’s going to cheer her up. Good for him. Also, thereby being a reference to the natural springs that keep the Cove’s denizens in relatively clean water. Nicely done, Mr Writer-person.

‘Th’’, however, is completely unforgivable.

“And swarty, rusty, curly, he
So a-harry to the east, they hand in hand.
To sow the stalthest seed there be
All that grows in golden sands.”

Swarty ~ Dark skinned.

Rusty ~ Swaggering.

Curly ~ It’s a reference to his pubes, if I’m not wholly mistaken.

So a-harry to the east &c. ~ This combination of black skin, a swaggering gate and curly black publics is clearly too much for Kytte, who can’t help but leave the losenges behind and run off to the seashore to chase the fishes.

Stalthest ~ Strong, sturdy, esp. of plants.

All that grows in golden sands ~ Evidently our Kytte is, shall we say, naturally flaxen. And Barbary manjuice is particularly stalthy.

Basically, the writer has clearly lost his lady-lemon to a native, and is rather bitter about it. That, or she ditched him in favour of some lady-lovin’. Either way, he should have just moved on and saved us all the bother.

When the Seunem national team first appeared at the Baptism of Fire, references were made to the infamous ‘Dirty Twelfth’ verse of TBOWJAJ. I can only assume this rather tame section wasn’t it, unless I’ve been left inured to its impact by the corporate pornographication of our society, and it would certainly appear that the original sung version in Qazox contained fifteen rather than fourteen verses. Who knows what horrors were contained within those four lost lines, though no doubt he managed to stick a reference to someone’s pubic hair in there somewhere. Possibly one of the grandfathers’.

“Thirty weeks, the gest is done
Her body rented, as thy Lord planned
And ferried forth with a jolly brown son
A child a-born in Seunemi sands”

Nants ingonyama bagithi Baba, the circle of life. It’s a beautiful thing.

‘Gest’ would appear to be a play on the ‘gestation period’ (a term foreign to Seunemi ears though, one would have thought, where gestation more commonly refers to the practise of riding on horseback as a means to keep fit, which you really don’t want to do while pregnant, I’d’ve thought. She should’ve stuck to zumba) and ‘gest’ as in a narrative of exploits. Seven and a half months, meanwhile, seems to be cutting things a tad tight, but Kytte’s presumably not prepared to hang around on the off-chance that this fella also decides that three dozen men and a fat boat might be preferable to a life with her rented flaxen coastline and soon-to-be-dropped sprog.

Her body rented ~ And very reasonable a fee it was, too.

A jolly brown son ~ Oh, that’s nice. His mother may be a FILTHY RACE TRAITOR but at least the little lad isn’t colicky.

“Oh, lally-ah, bonny childs a-mine
Launchen ye to the bat-black lands
And clear dreams there of mariners thine
My childs a-born in Seunemi sands”

And finally, suddenly, without any warning or reason, the Ballad of Winstan Joseph and/or Jent becomes a lullaby, full of those traditional nursery topics of death by drowning, gay runaways, hot interracial sex and multi-coloured pubic hair. Sleep well, kiddies!

I suppose, at this point, I should provide some sort of conclusion on Sebastiaan’s behalf, but it should hardly be necessary. Instead, it simply provides further evidence, were it needed, of the folly that is the ‘Seunem national football team’ and everything that surrounds it – its players, its flag, its fans, and its anthem.

______________________________

2 COMMENTS:

David H-H Feb 4, 2012 11:09AM
its all just faggotry anywa

fashion-house Feb 4, 2012 12:56PM
Good story thanks for writing Like you I also loving cheap bags and shoes in 2012 for sale thankyou!!!

by **Baleyaroh** » Sat Feb 04, 2012 10:52 am

Matchday 11

Not a game the "protesters" will be happy with. Erathore was expected to have the most ball possession and full control of the game while Baleyaroh would park the bus and trust their counterattack and so it was, at least for Erathore. Baleyaroh's midfield failed miserably in backing up the defenders by controling the opponents' attacking midfielders, which resulted in two long ranged goals in the first half. In the second half, after a stern reprimand from coach Vernetta Lavongsar, the team performed well defensively and increased their counterattack chances but didn't manage to get in the scoreboard. The team's inability to score, 4 goals in 10 games, is starting to worry the fans.

Group 1
Mapletish 2-1 Yesopalitha
Erathore 2-0 Baleyaroh
West Angola 0-0 Sativaville
Cheergirls 0-3 Bostopia

Tactical Update: Rudolf Delgadillo will be watching the next game from the bleachers, Buck Moreci takes his place. Coach Vernetta Lavongsar has planned a little revolution in the starting 11 to face Yesopalitha. Sid Dellon, Milan Mizee, Carletta Mihor, Buck Moreci, Henriette Lighthart and Hiroko Lipkovitch will take the place of Ellsworth Kellem, Lurline Gals, Walton Deralph, Florencia Nygaro, Alejandrina Berley and Hobert Mamone.

Starting 11
GK - 1- Risa Brittsan (31)
RD - 20- Buck Moreci (25)
LD - 5- Palmer Pav (19)
DF - 15- Milan Mizee (25)
DF - 3- Digna Anoe (20) - Captain
DM - 6- Alonso Heitmuller (28)
DM - 8- Hiroko Lipkovitch (30)
MC - 7- Carletta Mihor (23)
RW - 10- Nga Braver (32)
LW - 22- Sid Dellon (18)
FW - 9- Henriette Lighthart (25)

Subs
GK - 13- Jeromy Jubyna (18)
RD - 2- Florencia Nygaro (21)
DF - 4- Lurline Gals (30)
DM - 16- Hobert Mamone (24)
MC - 17- Walton Deralph (35)
LW - 11- Ellsworth Kellem (25)
FW - 19- Alejandrina Berley (18)

Reserves
GK - 23- Hilma Kellish (32)
LD - 14- Rudolf Delgadillo (19)
DM - 21- Jere Obermuller (16)
RW - 18- Diamond Argudin (32)
FW - 24- Jin Havekost (34)

by **Bears Armed** » Sat Feb 04, 2012 11:23 am

"I wonder hwhat sort of country those 'Occupy NationStates' people actually have anyhows?"

"Hwell, the briefing material that they sent through the WCC says that their home stadium is... Here we are... "A small field in a park in the city of Lakeview. We will put some bleachers around it, so there will be a capacity of about 2,000." Hr'rmm, so that looks as though either their cities are small even by our stndards rather than those of so many Human lands or they're horribly built-up...."

"Or maybeso they just don't have much in the way of organised sports yet, so they don't have much in the way of facilities for those neither?"

"Hr'rmm, maybeso, I suppose. come ot think of it, hwhen we went to play 'away' to the 'Nineteenth-century Beards last year they didn't have much in the way of a stadium neither."

"For true. Heyyah, they are coming here to play against us week-after-next, hrright? I wonder hwhat they will think of Wimbley?"

"Hwouldn't they have already seen a large stadium before that, for example hwhen they went to play in Valladares last year?"

"Ayyuh, good point. I wasn't thinking it through... Need more sleeep..."

by **Melbergia** » Sat Feb 04, 2012 12:28 pm

Melbergia's First Ten World Cup Qualifiers - A Review

by Art Reilly, Melbergian Evening News.

We stand at an important juncture in the early history of Melbergian international football. With ten games played in the qualifying stage of NS World Cup 59, the Melbergian's first entry into international competition, our nation's heroes are nobly placed. Having been drawn into qualifying group 19 as rank outsiders, the side crafted by head coach Lars O'Neill have performed above everyone's expectations and have managed to produce a positive result in exactly 50% of their matches. Whilst qualification is now almost mathematically impossible, this promising competition debut has the potential to set the side up for future success.

The story so far -

Melbergia 1 - 2 Cotdelapoms
A spirited performance on the part of the Dragons was not enough to hold off the vastly experienced Cotdelapomais. An important moment in Melbergian footballing history, and a promising sign of things to come.

Allamunnic States 2 - 0 Melbergia
A reality check for a Melbergian side buoyed by their narrow loss against the world's 11th best team. A poor performance punished by experienced opposition.

Carasatoga 1 - 0 Melbergia
Carasatoga maintained their 100% start to the qualifiers with a narrow victory over an improved Melbergian side still suffering from defensive weaknesses.

Ko-oren 1 - 1 Melbergia
This is more like it. Melbergia's first point of the tournament lifts them off the bottom of the group and reinvigorates the side and fans. Hot prospect Carr finally seems to kick into gear and provides for his side with an exellent performance capped off by his first goal.

Melbergia 1 - 0 Actaris
History is made in the Melbergian capital Portvestir as they assert dominance over an Actaris side lacking in any real quality. Three valuable points for the Melbergians lead the fans to start looking up the group table and stop worrying about finishing in last place.

Luziyca 0 - 1 Melbergia
Maintaining their fresh run of form, Melbergia produce another crucial result against Luzicya. If they wish to finish in line with coach O'Neill's ambitious prediction of 6th place, the Dragons will need to beat the sides around them in terms of quality and experience - this result showed that this may be possible.

Astograth 10 - 1 Melbergia
Ouch. Ouch again. Men Vs Boys as Melbergia are absolutely devastated by rampant Astograth, ending their 3-game unbeaten run in no uncertain terms. The hit taken to the Melbergian goal difference in this game may have dire consequences later in qualification.

Melbergia 2 - 2 Ossidiacqua
A good result for the Melbergians, consolidating their 'no-pushover' status. The Dragons remain 7th, just one point behind that magical 6th place.

Cotdelapoms 0 - 0 Melbergia
The Melbergians' second meeting with giants Cotdelapoms ends in even more jubilant scenes for the travelling support as they come away with an incredible result given the gulf in quality between these two sides. The home support are stunned as their side drop to second in the group. At the halfway stage, Melbergia sit in a credible 7th place.

Melbergia 0 - 1 Allamunnic States
A weak display sets the second half of qualifying off to a disappointing start for the Dragons.

Matches still to be played -

Melbergia - Carasatoga
Melbergia - Ko-oren
Actaris - Melbergia
Melbergia - Luziyca
Melbergia - Astograth
Ossidiacqua - Melbergia

Verdict:
Melbergia have a much easier second half of qualification ahead of them than the first half. With four home games remaining in the run in, compared with just two away from home, the Dragons have a perfect opportunity to set their stall out as a burgeoning force on the International stage.

If they are to achieve their objective of 6th place, Melbergia will have to ensure comfortable results against Actaris and Luziyca. Before this however, possibly the most crucial match of the campaign will be at home to Ko-oren. If a victory can be achieved in this match, Melbergia's first ever qualification campaign will most likely be viewed as a big success.

by **Vilita** » Sat Feb 04, 2012 1:04 pm

WORLD CUP SLIPS AWAY IN MYTANNION

Another 0-1 Defeat puts Jungle Cats in Must-Win situations

The Vilita Jungle Cats went into Mytannion knowing that they were a better team than the single-goal defeat to the same team on Matchday 2 indicated. They knew they could compete with the best teams in the group, having gone joint second after defeating playoff chasing Saugeais on Matchday 9. They also knew the grave consequences of defeat. Trailing the Mytannion side by 7 points heading into the match, a victory would put them back within Striking distance of the group leaders, and possibly in position to capitalize on any additional slip ups to pip the groups top spot. Defeat, however, would leave the Jungle Cats an insurmountable 10 points off the top spot in the group with just 7 games to play and many lowly pushovers in the Mytannion path. It was a true six pointer that would set the tone of the rest of qualification in Group 10.

The Jungle Cats started brightly, providing good plays through the midfield and good distribution. The forwards had a score of chances in the opening half hour, but spurned them all, Kilpter hitting twice directly at the grateful Mytannion goalkeeper. There was a scare for the Jungle Cats in the 34th minute as goalkeeper Nycflala Kater stayed down after a challenge with the attacking midfielder of Mytannion. The keeper rolled in pain inside the box and was given attention from the medical staff for a full five minutes before finally getting back on the feet. Play would resume, and stoppage time was added to the end of the first half, but neither team could take advantage of it with the two teams entering the half level at 0-0.

The coaches Kris Wrice and Tika Massa made two changes at the half. Jian Lejsrma came in to give a slightly more aggressive look to the midfield, but the big story was the change in the back. Apparently the break for half time had caused what ever ailment Nycflala Kater had picked up from the knock that was received during the first half challenge to worsen, and the Vilita Jungle Cats starting goalkeeper was unable to continue the match. The replacement of course was Jungrii Canopii, a solid but less experienced goalkeeper who has appeared casually as a substitute for the national team, and player in less important competitions such as the recent Legends of the World Cup and the Atlantian Oceania Confederation of Association Football championships.

The Jungle Cats and their Mytannion opposition duked it out for another 20 minutes before one team finally broke through and got on the scoreboard. Unfortunately for the fans of the Vilita National Team, it was Mytannion and not Vilita who got on the scoreboard in the 66th minute of hte match. The mytannion Strike, quite unappreciative of his accomplishment, was the goalscorer who put the hosts and group leaders in front in this true 6 pointer of a match and the Jungle Cats were powerless to prevent it happening. On the best of days, perhaps a Healthy Nycflala Kater would have kept the Mytannion striker's effort out of the net, but today was not that day. Nycflala Kater was back in the locker rooms having been injured earlier in the match, and even if the Vilitan starter was on the pitch, the knock from the first half would almost surely have made the difference between getting there, and not getting there.

The coaches Kris Wrice and Tika Massa decided not to respond to the goal scored by Mytannion, feeling like the lineup they had out there was as good as it got, and the decision was backed statistically as the Vilita National Team had continued toe to toe on the pitch throughout the match, with just one exception. The Jungle Cats were winning the corner battle expertly, while Mytannion kept having the ball go out for a goal kick.

As the referees final whistle blew, the Jungle Cats knew that they would have a long, uphill battle from this point forward. Even though their primary opponents for the playoff position, Landereien, also lost, keepeing control of their destiny in their own hands, The jungle Cats let a massive opportunity to get back into the automatic qualification for World Cup 58 race slip away from their grasp.

Vilita Goalscorers::
Fail

Mytannion Goalscorers::
66' Some Highly Unappreciative Striker

Vilita

Best Player: Steffyn Siazzu
Worst Player: Kristofer Kilpter
Shots on Target: 5
Corner Kicks: 6

Mytannion

Best Player: A Decent Performing but unrecognizable Right Center Mid
Worst Player: Left Midfielder from the wrong side of town
Shots on Target: 4
Corner Kicks: 1

Vilita Jungle Cats (3-(1-4)-2) ::
[GK] Nycflala Kater, [D] Ritopa Simafela, [D] Timmson Leabiura, [D] Miiara Makose, [DMC] Retiso Buran, [ML] Jomur Hulyer, [MC] Resaie Kentiak, [MC] Rexii Tzikas, [MR] Steffyn Siazzu, [FC] Kristofer Kilpter, [FC] Viji-mara Lawaai
BENCH::
[FC] Xcnaio Bansoa, [FC] Sirkii Moliaudo, [M] Jian Lejsrma, [M] Viliaka Morasita, [U] Niubo Deneli, [D] Kadi Molali, [GK] Jungrii Canopii

Vilita Substitutions::
(45) - Nycflala Kater >>> Jungrii Canopii
(45) - Retiso Buran >>> Jian Lejsrma

by **Khytenna** » Sat Feb 04, 2012 1:25 pm

Firestone's Hat-trick punishes PuertoRico defence

PuertoRico: 0

Khytenna: 3

Firestone 21st, 37th 61st

Firestone played an amazing game, and with help from his team, exploited the PuertoRico defence, each time creating chances and 3 great goals, Khytenna have started to put their bad start behind them as they move to 2nd in group 4.

Last time these two teams met, Khytenna had only just won the game, lacking style and aggressive play, but this time round, Khytenna came back at them with great movement with the ball and playing fast one-touch football as the tryied to find and create gaps, Thorne made a great shot in the 10th minute from just outside the box, smashing it towards goal, with the shot just going wide as Khytenna turned up the heat on PuertoRico.

Firestone would get his and Khytenna first goal in the 21st minute, a sloppy pass buy the defence gave Firestone a chance to win the ball of a defender, he passed it out to a charging Blaylock, Firestone allowed the defenders to move towards Blaylock thinking that he would shoot, but he once he got in the box, he passed it inside towards Firestone who was left with an open goal, Great goal by Firestone to put his team one nil ahead.

A bit of shoddy defence again led to another Goal by Firestone, this came from a corner taken by thorne, it was headed down towards the keeper by Blaylock, it was pushed out but it wasn't cleared, the defence was slow reacting the time a defender got to the ball, Firestone was their and Drilled a shot in to the back of the goal, he made sure that ball was going in the goal, the keeper had no chance to stop that shot, Firestone was given time and space and he exploited it with perfection.

With the first half ending 2-0 to khytenna, PuertoRico shock their defence up with player being subbed, with it now strengthened, Khytenna would have a slightly harder time to try to get another goal, but Firestone would be their to get his third goal, thanks to his pace and a great pass by Thorne, Thorne was on the edge of the box moving in, he raced forward and made a through ball to the overside of the box, Firestone moved on to the ball fast and managed to get their before defender and powered a shot over the keeper to get his hat-trick, what a fantastic goal to give Khytenna the win.

Khytenna bring on some fresh legs for the next game against Stachland, who in the last game drew one all, Evelyn returns along with Carmichael,Bohannan and Showman

GK 13. Leo Hay ( 21 Portside fc)
RB 3. james Ursua (31 Blue bay)
LB 14. Max Showman(26 Central FC)
DC 17. Nelson Bohannan(27 Alterdamm Merchants, Gray harbour)
DC 15.Oliver Testerman ( 24 Dunboor FC, Cafundeu)(capt) )
RM 7. Casey Thorne (27 Central FC)
LM 16.Trever Evelyn (22 Blue Bay)
CM 4. John Carmichael (22 Central FC)
FW 9. Fergal Firestone (21 blue bay)
FW 10. Lini Pellett (21 Atlético Jutense, Cafundeu)
FW 20. Lyle Blaylock (22 Kings’s District Athletic))

by **The Archregimancy** » Sat Feb 04, 2012 1:46 pm

OOC - large parts of the below adapted from http://orthodoxyinfo.org/. The latter is not a webpage of a parish from a canonical Orthodox jurisdiction, but rather from an Old Calendarist schismatic Greek synod; but the theology's sound.

The Diary of Fr. David of the Woods

Well, that was something of a life lesson, was it not?

Just when you think you're going along nicely, in control of your destiny, comes a nasty surprise like last night's 1-0 loss to Newland-America.

And what is the less I draw from that match? Have I drawn the lesson that I really must get the squad to practice attacking set pieces rather more (we were dreadful on corners)? Have I drawn the lesson that Fr. Innocent should stop trying to place the ball, and should attempt to put a little power into his shots? Have I learned that no matter how much you dominate a game, if you can't score you're always vulnerable to a freak goal from outmatched opposition?

Yes, I have learned these valuable lessons, true... but I think the more important lesson is about the role of free will in the Orthodox Christian life.

I may need to discuss this with the squad after the post-practice liturgy tomorrow, so perhaps I should use this opportunity to gather my thoughts on the issue.

First, one must understand that free will does not mean the ability to do whatever we want. We cannot stop eating and breathing without eventually terminating our existence. We cannot prevent the aging process, nor lift a mountain, nor swallow the ocean - nor, indeed defeat a team like Newlands-America simply because we wish to. We are limited - not paralysed - by our nature, the force of circumstance, the laws of Nature.

Second, we are restricted by the passions. The passions limit the scope of our choices. Thus, a person addicted to drugs has not the same liberty as a person free of them. Sin limits our choices. In other words, our liberty expands with the purity of the soul and body. In the Age to Come, St. Gregory of Nyssa says, the saved will have an infinite number of choices. In hell the damned will have no choice at all.

Third, our liberty is restricted by ignorance. What we do not know, we cannot choose, except, perhaps, by chance. But that would not be free choice. Freedom involves deliberation. Ignorance is an excuse only for them who have no ability or opportunity to learn; in other words an infant has no knowledge and, strictly speaking, it has no freedom to choose. But then it knows neither good nor evil. The same may not be said of the normal adult. In any case, God will judge us according to the way we exercised our freedom.

Fourth, there are matters entirely beyond our control, such as those things which God has reserved for Himself. After today's match - especially when I consider that desperately poor decision not to award us an obvious penalty - one is inclined to include the ursine referee from Bears Armed in the category of 'matters entirely beyond our own control'. Less flippantly, only God has autarkeia or is self-sufficient, absolutely independent; only God is autexousios or complete "self-authority", "self-power", without any authority over Him.

So how, then to define "free will"? It has two meanings and they are interrelated. It is the ability to choose between good and evil and between one thing and another. In every choice there is the risk of sin, unless we call upon the Grace of God to aid us.

But whether we choose between things physical or things spiritual, our choices always involve the power to choose between good and evil. In today's world, for example, there are many who argue that alcoholism is a disease. The alcoholic is not a sinner, but a victim. Yet, in truth, alcoholism is the result of cumulative choices which impacts upon the body and cause chemical changes in it. Although alcoholism may compel a person to drink, it was free choice which initially led to his slavery to alcohol.

Thus, each member of the Archregimancy's team had the choice as to whether to play poorly or play well in last night's match. Though the team as a whole did not all make the same choices - Fr. George actually had a very good game - it was the free choice of the majority of the players which led to us having our worst game of the tournament so far. The loss may therefore be fairly interpreted as a result of a sinful choice on the part of the majority of the squad, and I shall insist on a particularly rigorous programme of penance prior to training tomorrow.

500 recitations of the Jesus Prayer complete with prostrations should do it.

And besides, when undertaken vigorously, prostrations are a wonderfully toning whole-body workout.

by **Pasarga** » Sat Feb 04, 2012 2:08 pm

"What is more terrifying, elves or bears?"

"What?"

"You heard me, which of those do you find more terrifying."

"Err... bears, yes bears."

"Why?"

"For the simple matter of fact that a feral bear is more likely to attack and injure me than an elf would. Though elves might be terrifying in sporting competitions, I do not fear for my life if run across one."

"So, you would not want to be drawn against Bears Armed or Armed Bears then?"

"Heavens no! Can you imagine how the players would feel having to play them? They would be scared out of their ever loving minds!"

"And what if they have been drawn say against Giant Zuchinni? Or Az-cz?"

"Well, giant sized food is one thing and little gnomes are entirely too... gnomey to be afraid of. But bears? Oh no, I do not want at all, nor do I suspect the players."

"You are strange strange man."

"And we're both voices inside the head of someone existing in an alternate dimension. What's your point?"

"There is no point."

by **Kagdazka and Pazhujebu** » Sat Feb 04, 2012 2:18 pm

OOC: In this RP, I make reference to a nation that I haven't created yet, but will soon: Tazesanta. It's an idea for a potential Rushmori puppet, but I haven't definitively decided anything yet.

Mahathu's Number One English Language Daily

Mere Weeks Into Ministership, Eherebhimi Under Heavy Fire

Bhašal Fessubh – Today, Kagdazka and Pazhujebu's ruling UWP government is taking the heat from all sides, but particularly from its own base. Concerns are growing on multiple fronts: economic, humanitarian, judicial, military, and political.

The troubles truly began two weeks ago when the Eherebhimi government dismissed the findings of a Ministry of Health inquiry which found that mobile phone usage presented a significant danger to the health of the general population. The Prime Minister responded with debatable tact by holding a joint press conference with the CEO of TeleŠede (the communications company that controversially obtained permits to place phone towers all around the pristine jungle of Šede Island). At that press conference, he stated that "the mobile phone, and telecommunication as an industry overall, has become an integral part of our economy," and that he "resented the scaremongering of a few misguided scientists."

The left-wing base that elected Eherebhimi was understandably alarmed. This was the sort of anti-intellectual, pro-business rhetoric they would have expected to hear from a member of the Centre Party, or perhaps the Patriotic Front, but not from the liberal lion they had seen sworn in just one month earlier.

Not long after this relatively minor incident, refugees from the nation of Stvoto Latoli, at present moment ruled by a brutal dictator, began streaming onto the shores of Pazhujebu, reporting that they were being slaughtered in the thousands back home. At first accommodating to their requests of asylum, Eherebhimi and the UWP overall took fierce heat from right-wing groups, especially the ZIN (an political organization which pushes for political autonomy for the Zahuj Peninsula region of Fajr Island), and the government eventually reneged on their promise to help the refugees. They were ultimately denied visas and told to get back in their boats.

Infuriated, the left in Kagdazka and Pazhujebu must now watch as the UWP becomes a willing participant in the so-called "liberation" of Tazesanta, a small Spanish-speaking country rumored to be somewhere in Rushmore. Evidently, the Patriotic Front, the ZIN, the Centrists, and other parties joined forces several days ago to create a coalition majority on the National Committee, with the help of the Šenapati. Rather than take a stand and risk the appearance of not being in control of its own armed forces, the UWP cowed to the pressure and joined the new coalition, which appears set on a purely imperialistic takeover of this wartorn but resource-rich nation.

The Army, Navy, and Air Force, which have been largely rebuilt under the auspices of the Šenapati, are apparently preparing for combat.

Meanwhile, reports on the newswire this morning suggest that this new coalition may be on the verge of taking action on the home front as well. Capital punishment may soon be a sentence for not just murderers, but for rapists, robbers, and other executors of violent crime. This new policy is a drastic shift from the pro-rehabilitation stance the UWP had taken during the campaign.

So perhaps Eherebhimi is much more of a moderate than any of us once thought? Or perhaps he is simply a politician, and money talks. Essentially, the Federation's government is denying asylum for people genuinely in need on one end, but providing regime change for a nation that may or may not need it on the other, all while it fries the brains of its own citizens (some by mobile phone usage, some by electric chair).

Rapidly Declining Form Could Bring About Erassi Sacking

Tertius Shajarhayam – After four matches in which the Urchins of Kagdazka and Pazhujebu looked like a second-rate outfit, many critics in the press are calling for the dismissal of Brutušam Erassi. Indeed, sources tell the Herald that if the wisteria-and-black-clad outfit continue to look as vulnerable as they have done, particularly in second halves of matches, the ex-Urnabhi and ex-FKM boss could see his employment terminated by the KPFA.

The Urchins' terrible run began with a stunning loss to the barely-ranked Baltskandio, a tiny Rushmori nation that is apparently Finnish or something. The Punainen-Sininen were a well-drilled outfit, to be sure, and the crushing defeat they inflicted upon our side (at the Gelendzhik Stadion, to boot) did irreparable damage to Kagdazka and Pazhujebu's World Cup qualifying hopes.

Despite winning their next match, a friendly versus Cafundéu, Erassi's outfit continued to look rickety. It was a rematch of the AOCAF 33 final several months ago, and though the Urchins managed to build a two-nil lead by the 53rd minute, the final thirty-five minutes of the match were a true test of nerves (and fingernail health) for Kagdaz and Pazhujebi fans, especially after Peregrina Thašighi was sent off in the 65th minute.

In Western Cuba a week later, the excrement really hit the air vent. Defensive midfielder Damian Hernandez put on a clinic in the centre of the pitch, allowing his side to dominate possession and have by far the better of the match's chances. He also scored the winning goal himself in the 64th minute. The catastrophic loss sent the Urchins into panic mode as they slumped to fourth place in the table.

The Federation recovered some sense of honor against Armed Bears, but once again found themselves under the cosh in the second half, only ahead thanks to a controversial 26th-minute Fušia Oujadda goal (there was extensive debate as to whether the ricocheting shot had actually crossed the goal line before being swatted out by Charra o Barrdenn). Zubeida Ichuvihaja had to submit one of the best performances of her career, marshaling the panicked defense, saving a penalty, and making seven other saves, in order to preserve the win.

Despite all these travails, the Urchins are still in third place, only two points away from second place. The only trouble, for Brutušam Erassi, at least, is that the KPFA expects him to win the group, and that looks to be an impossibly tall order. The Babbage Islands remain an immovable force in international football, and recent rumors that their Ministry of Sport analogue had gone into inactivity have recently been proven to be categorically false. Mr. Erassi may be looking for work very, very soon, and the odds on Kagdazka and Pazhujebu failing to qualify for World Cup 58 are shorter than they have ever been before.

0 - 1

Venue: Gelendzhik Stadion, Gelendzhik, Kagdazka
Attendance: 35,000
Referee: Lorenzo Sanchez (Krytenia)
Man/Woman of the Match: Ella Rasmussen (Baltskandio)

Managers

Kagdazka and Pazhujebu: Brutušam Erassi
Baltskandio: Jeremy McAllister

Squads

Kagdazka and Pazhujebu: Voropaev; Klossovskaya, Bhara, Mizirov; Razava, Ogorodov, Winogradsky, Thašighi (Ztnkk 92'); Oujadda (Šeruthuvu 77'), Filipov, Sajid (Pudibhišu 13')
Baltskandio: Ilves; Mortensen, Kukk, Kristensen, Pütsep; Levandi (Christiansen 67'), Lepp, Rasmussen, Hansen (Sisask 57'); G. Pedersen, Olesen (O. Pedersen 84')

Goals

Kagdazka and Pazhujebu: none
Baltskandio: G. Pedersen 63'

2 - 1

Venue: Gelendzhik Stadion, Gelendzhik, Kagdazka
Attendance: 35,000
Referee: Gabriel Cabreras (Sargossa)
Man/Woman of the Match: Aqhorassia Bhara (Kagdazka and Pazhujebu)

Managers

Kagdazka and Pazhujebu: Brutušam Erassi
Cafundéu: Fernanda Garcia

Squads

Kagdazka and Pazhujebu: Ichuvihaja; Klossovskaya, Bhara, Mizirov; Razava (Aghimaqaj 71'), Jujazhedhi (Makureru 63'), Winogradsky, Thašighi; Oujadda (Andropov 68'), Filipov, Šeruthuvu
Cafundéu: Laura; Aline Munia, Bia, Giovanna; Bárbara (Carol Neves 86'), Natália, Kelly Paredes (Sabrina 63'), Fernanda, Ana Paula; Dani, Vanessa (Júlia Pereira 80')

Goals

Kagdazka and Pazhujebu: Šeruthuvu 9', Filipov 53'
Cafundéu: Vanessa 57'

1 - 0

Venue: Trinidad Municipal Stadium, Trinidad, Western Cuba
Attendance: 30,000
Referee: Darien Zhang (Kelssek)
Man/Woman of the Match: Damian Hernandez (Western Cuba)

Managers

Western Cuba: Ricardo Márquez
Kagdazka and Pazhujebu: Brutušam Erassi

Squads

Western Cuba: Diaz; Vasquez, Chavez (Ortiz 90+1'), Rios, Rivera; Vargas (Gonzales 78'), Garcia, Hernandez, Lopez (Soto 61'), Martinez; Mendoza
Kagdazka and Pazhujebu: Ichuvihaja; Klossovskaya, Bhara (Zbruyev 80'), Mizirov (Makureru 66'); Razava (Ztnkk 55'), Ogorodov, Winogradsky, Aghimaqaj; Oujadda, Filipov, Šeruthuvu

Goals

Western Cuba: Hernandez 64'
Kagdazka and Pazhujebu: none

1 - 0

Venue: Therakham Velodrama, Mahathu, Pazhujebu
Attendance: 52,000
Referee: Ricardo Ordoñez (Aguazul)
Man/Woman of the Match: Zubeida Ichuvihaja (Kagdazka and Pazhujebu)

Managers

Kagdazka and Pazhujebu: Brutušam Erassi
Armed Bears: Surra Rueth’hron

Squads

Kagdazka and Pazhujebu: Ichuvihaja; Klossovskaya (Andropov 90+2'), Bhara, Makureru; Razava (Qathif'ajuju 74'), Ogorodov, Winogradsky, Thašighi; Oujadda (Pudibhišu 74'), Filipov, Šeruthuvu
Armed Bears: C. o Barrdenn; o HighPeaks, o Strongpaw; SunDaughter, o Parram, o Redwood (o Dawn 79'); Sarra, Karra, SunBlessed, B. o Barrdenn, WestWalker (o Westside 60')

Goals

Kagdazka and Pazhujebu: Oujadda 26'
Armed Bears: none

Next Match

Opponent: West Guiana
Venue: Therakham Velodrama, Mahathu, Pazhujebu
K&P's Projected Starting XI: Ichuvihaja; Bhara, Mizirov, Makureru; Razava, Ogorodov, Winogradsky, Thašighi; Oujadda, Filipov, Šeruthuvu
Referee: Trevor Munoz (Khytenna)

by **Aguazul** » Sat Feb 04, 2012 2:20 pm

(OOC: D'oh, inadvertent symbolism on my part. Oops. Or yay, depending on how you look at it...)

"One day. One day, that's all I'm asking you people," hissed Domingo Valero. "If we could go one stinking day without all the infighting maybe we'd actually get somewhere!"

"Er...uh...com....rade. We haven't actually tried to move yet."

"No, and if you keep acting like children I'm not going to risk it!"

"Children? But, but, but this one book says that children are born like, um, chalkboards and are not necessarily bad. Or something." Francisco Pérez prided himself on having read the books and keeping fresh with the latest in revolutionary thought. Most of his comrades thought he was boring and just wanted him to read the one where it said they were definitely going to pull a revolution off, some day, it was a fact, out loud over again.

"Yes, yes, they're easily covered in dust and if you scratch them they make noise. I'm sure. Now find something you can discuss without squabbling while I look at these maps."

"Right," said Francisco. "Football."

"National team play again?" a young woman asked.

"Yep."

"In the Supercentro?"

"Yep. None of our business."

"Did they win?"

"Probably."

"More bread and circuses for all?"

"Mostly beer and football."

"Close enough."

Everyone gave a satisfied nod. Football was a noncontroversial subject among the rebels. They hated all the teams equally.

A minute went by. Five minutes. Ten.

"So I've been reading," Francisco burst.

Everyone rolled their eyes. There he went again.

"It's, um, I forget who it's by but she has a backward accent. Says something about how in Aguazul, the syncretisms are more, complicated or something. Because the rabbit and the turtle, right? Aren't those supposed to be Nanabos' familiars?"

No answer.

"Hey. Hey! Jaime, aren't Nanabos' familiars supposed to be a rabbit and a turtle or something?"

"Supposed to be?" Jaime, the oldest member of the group and the one who was most mythologically with it, asked witheringly. "They are."

"Well...okay," Francisco (who had been an atheist ever since reading an argument for it by that one guy who had a tilde or something authoritative) said. "But like anyway. It's probably not, you know, synced with something else besides the conquistadores, right? Because they wouldn't have given a rip about animals or whatever."

"It's not synced with anything," said Beatriz. "Rabbit hops down, turtle rises up, that's all old."

"But she said! I'm just saying."

"Francisco," Beatriz hissed, "the capitalists have books too. You can't trust everything you read in books."

Francisco scowled.

"Eleven minutes," said Domingo. "Why do I even bother?"

"Cause it's going to happen anyway!" Francisco retorted.

"It's freedom, right?" said Beatriz. "Jaime's free to say that the rabbit and turtle are real, whoever wrote Francisco's dumb books is free to disagree, and I'm free to say that he has dumb books. That's what we're fighting for. Freedom. Once we, you know, start fighting."

Domingo rolled his eyes. "Okay. Let's see if we can't hijack some toll roads..."

(Lanos 13, Cadena 66)

by **The Kangaroo Republic** » Sat Feb 04, 2012 2:27 pm

(OOC: Because I needed to have my revenge on EL

)

Eastfield Lodge sore losers: Controversy around Boerde
So today the players from the Kangaroo Republic had been given the time to enjoy their day off. Back at the training camp, they were planning on making use of their bye day for a practice match before their next game against Triimoria. However, this day off was about to get rather hectic after a news source from Eastfield Lodge, bloggercentral.efl, reported on the match versus the Kangaroo Republic, which created controversies around the match.

Allegations go that Boerde, the captain of the team, supposedly pawballed a shot from Ordaz, thus preventing a goal by the Eastfield Lodgers, but no penalty was given. Fans and sports critics alike have differently ranging opinion on it. Some saying that Boerde, being one of the most disciplined players on the squad, couldn't have possibly done so, and with the lack of video footage of this supposed handball from the EL newssource due to an apparent technical issue there's little evidence of this being the case.

Some replays show that while a pawball is apparent, a closer look from a different angle shows the ball hitting very close to the shoulder of Boerde, but not his paw.

The news source was filled with such controversies, leading to many sports watchers, both casual fans and some professional football critics throughout the country, dismissing it as defamation. But nonetheless, the press was all over Boerde in light of these events, and what was supposed to be somewhat of a relaxation day and a day to prepare for the upcoming matches, turned into a hectic one. Boerde insists to the press that he hadn't played the ball with his paw, but controversy remains.

"We've played a good game, and that's what matters. I know I hadn't laid a paw on that ball when I blocked the shot from Ordaz, and the ref made a good call in not stopping play for a penalty. Yes the ref made a few bad calls in the game, like on Inande's shot which was supposed to be offside, but so were a few of our own chances obliterated because of wrong flagging for offside," Boerde stated, before cutting off the interview.

While these controversies may be true or not, damage to our team's reputation of playing fair has been damaged. Furthermore, this controversial report has sparked up a strong rivalrious ambiance among some hardcore fans. Though the team tries its best to look forward. "We shouldn't dwell on this. The last thing we need is to have hooligan fans get pissed on the supporters of Eastfield Lodge," the coach stated firmly.

The players from Eastfield Lodge had managed to win their match against Numbadon. And given that the 'roos have now played one game less than the team from Eastfield Lodge, they had to concede their second spot to them again, though theoretically, we could make it back on top of them again if we continue playing like this.

Results Elsewhere
Triimoria 0-1 Valanora
Carpathia and Ruthenia 2-0 Karlada
Eastfield Lodge 3-1 Numbadon
Chrinthanium 3-1 Zona Azul

Group 11 Standings

   Team                        P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
 1 Valanora                   10  9  1  0  21   6  +15  28
 2 Eastfield Lodge            10  5  3  2  18  14   +4  18
 3 The Kangaroo Republic       9  5  2  2  17   8   +9  17
 4 Carpathia and Ruthenia     10  4  2  4  10  11   -1  14
 5 Triimoria                   9  4  1  4  14  12   +2  13
 6 Chrinthanium               10  3  3  4  17  19   -2  12
 7 Zona Azul                  10  2  2  6   9  19  -10   8
 8 Numbadon                   10  2  1  7  10  17   -7   7
 9 Karlada                    10  2  1  7  11  21  -10   7

by **Carmadin** » Sat Feb 04, 2012 2:30 pm

The Tale of the Creation of Mankind- Final Part, Part 3

And then, Avaru Bhāvisuttāre had an idea. And he told Bhūmiya to take the clay, and to fashion the clay as he himself was fashioned. But, alas! Bhūmiya could not see himself, and this he said to Avaru Bhāvisuttāre, saying

"But, how am I to do this, when I cannot see what I myself look like?"

And Avaru Bhāvisuttāre said

"But this is a simple matter. Look, Bhūmiya, and I shall show you"

And with that, Avaru Bhāvisuttāre took a piece of obsidian from the great roaring mountain, Yuyunipitqana, and polished it and honed it until the rock gleamed and shone, and this he showed to Bhūmiya, telling him to look into the rock at his reflection, and that he could see his visage, and thus fashion the god-image out of the clay he held. And, working silently, Bhūmiya did this, and he made the face, the torso, the hands, and the legs. And he worked for many hours each day, and many, many days he worked, until the clay figure was finshed. And, when it was, he took the obsidian, and the figure, and showed it to Avaru Bhāvisuttāre. And Avaru Bhāvisuttāre praised him, saying he would put it onto the earth at once, so that it would watch over the animals, and be the messanger of the gods on earth. And they called it Jēḍimaṇṇina ondu, which means "one-of-the-clay", and also can be known as Hūmu ondu, meaning "one-of-the-mud". And this, "Hūmu", is where we get our word, "Human", translating into the Shihn'Dohm language as Hūmun, or "mud-god". And as Avaru Bhāvisuttāre was about to breathe life into Jēḍimaṇṇina ondu, Kattallae came from his place of banishment, and he dashed the obsidian from his hand, saying

"Nīvu dēvarugaḷa nanage horadūḍalpaṭṭa kūḍa adu nānu nim'ma sr̥ṣṭi horadūḍu! Tanna ātma kappāda mattu tanna hr̥daya kallina irabahudu!"

And as he said this, the obsidian flew, and it sliced into the heart of the figure.

And this is why humans are not the messangers of the gods they were meant to be, but rather beings who must seek the god's help and forgiveness.

by **Alasdair I Frosticus** » Sat Feb 04, 2012 2:31 pm

Leo Saracenopulo and Nicephorus Nonnuso sat on the front steps of the mighty ruined gothic cathedral Heldscalla. They looked tired and weary. Leo's clothing was torn and spattered with red, green and blue blood. Nicephorus had a large welt across his forehead, and scars on both cheeks; he was missing one of his teeth.

Leo turned to his companion. "I see we beat Churchma last night."

"Aye."

"Good game, I hear."

"Aye"

"Six goals; must have been a cracker."

"Aye."

Leo understood Nicephorus' reticence. The were both tired... bone weary; more tired than either of them had ever been before. There was no real need - or desire - for either of them to talk. But talk they had to.

"Have you written the letter?" Leo asked.

"Yes." Nicephorus waved a sheet of parchment, and set it inside the bright blue envelope. Written on the outside was a name.... Hassan i Sabbah. "The instructions are clear; he can't misunderstand them."

"Read them to me."

"Again?" asked Nicephorus? He'd read them to Leo at least five times in the last couple of hours; they'd had little else to do.

"Yes; again. We have to know they're right. The consequences of them not being right are, well... you know." They did both know. They shuddered simultaneously.

Nicephorus began to read....

Dear Hassan,

Your presence and your mission has been anticipated.

We think it best for both the success of your mission and your continued existence if you do not enter Heldscalla today. We have instead placed the Glimmung somewhere safer where you may access it more securely.

You will need to take to following steps to take the Jewel of Infinite Facets back to your principle:

A) You will see a portal behind you. A breathing mask is directly next to the portal. Put on the breathing mask (failure to do so will result in your death). Enter the portal.

B) The portal will take you to a universe where all lifeforms are silicon-based crystalline entities. They are expecting you. Do not remove your mask.

C) The crystalline entities communicate through thought pictures, not speech. They can communicate with you, but you will be unable to communicate with them. They will place a picture in your mind. You may find the experience discomfiting.

D) They will transfer a picture of a location on a moon within their solar system. You must travel to this location on this moon.

E) The only means of doing this will be to travel by what you may conceive of as a 'crystal shuttle'; the concept would be hard to explain in writing, but you will be safely encased in crystal - and placed in stasis - for the journey to the moon.

F) The journey will take 6 subjective years, but as you will be in stasis, this should not unduly inconvenience you.

G) You will see the location you must travel to upon landing. Follow the straight black line along the narrow walkway which shows you the correct route. DO NOT DEVIATE FROM THIS LINE. The liquid on either side of the walkway is both sentient and carnivorous.

H) At the designated location, you will find a hovering cube. The cube is a no-cage which contains the Glimmung. Push the blue button. DO NOT PUSH THE RED BUTTON. A portal will appear. You will find that a portal will appear, and that you may easily carry the no-cage through the portal.

I) If you take more than 30 seconds to push the blue button after reaching the no-cage, a localised reality rift will open, and you will be wiped from reality; so don't dawdle.

J) After walking through the portal, you will find yourself in the presence of your principle. You may now push the red button; if you pushed the red button before now, you will have exposed the Glimmung without the necessary reality filters, and you will be dead. So don't be tempted.

K) The no-cage will now collapse, leaving you with the Glimmung behind a reality filter tuned to your principal's environment. He may now use the Glimmung for the desired purpose.

You're probably wondering how we know who you are, and what you hope to accomplish by finding the Glimmung.

It would be healthier for you if you were to stop wondering about this, and were to simply accept it.

For your own sake, if you do awaken him, we hope that both you and your principal know what you're doing.

Leo looked at Nicephorus. The instructions were clear. It was time for them to go. They had tickets to the next Holy Empire qualifying match; and after the last few subjective weeks, they deserved the break.

by **Cyborg Holland** » Sat Feb 04, 2012 2:41 pm

Flying into Tibania was very nerve-wracking. We hit some bad weather about an hour from landing, and it was a white knuckle ride till we landed at the small airport. Our first night there didn’t end well, with both Ed and Greg falling ill after some dodgy local food. The day of the match was blitzed by bad weather, and we were training on the pitch in a complete downpour. By the time it was kick off, we were all soaked, muddy and exhausted, and we weren’t helped by one of the most hostile crowds in the game. There was a lot of booing and jeering, and some of the players were put off by this, none more notably than Phil. He was looking off-colour before we started and hadn’t trained like he usually did, he lacked his finishing finesse. He had missed several chances early on and we’d paid for it when they netted in the 23rd minute. We were partly shocked by the fact that we’d not one in four games, and we were partly affected by the large amount of traveling we had to do, but we weren’t performing. There were spats in the dressing room and Rob and Tim had a semi-major spat after Tibania’s second goal. I had to intervene as vice-captain, Tim seemed pretty mad at some sloppy zoning, and Rob was shouting his head off at him for “awful keepin’”. When the full time whistle went, we walked off, only to walk back on for a pep talk from our coach. We left the centre circle well after everyone had left, and me and some of the guys took a walk around the bleachers. We realised how much we meant to Cyborg Dutch fans, and how badly our form was affecting our fans morale. There was the not to major things of half-eaten food left in disgust on seats, and discarded Cyborg Dutch flag and A torn programme, but more shockingly was a large painting of our shirt, with Denbrandt’s name on it, with “Cyborg Dutch football died HERE!” That wasn’t good, somethnig had to be done, soon....

by **Valanora** » Sat Feb 04, 2012 2:51 pm

"Bored are you?"

"Quite so, how can you tell?"

"Well, you've not been reading others scripts lately nor been making many of your own."

"Yeah, I don't know. I still enjoy it and I know I want to do it, but I just really can't find the motivation to do so."

"We have all been there a time or two, even the best of us. I am sure things will change in time."

"Perhaps so, though when my friends and collaborators seem to be leaving the business, it makes the outlook a bit bleak."

"No one really leaves this business, they just take breaks."

"Well too many of them are taking their breaks simultaneously for me."

"What about prompts and outlines, you seem to enjoy doing those."

"That's true, I do like them more than the scripts themselves, and my own fanfics."

"There you go, focus on those until you have the motivation to be doing full scripts again."

"I will try."

by **Turori** » Sat Feb 04, 2012 3:05 pm

EELS SET FOR QAZOXIAN SHOWDOWN
Almintora National Stadium Sold Out as Favorites visit Turori

The Turori Eels will host Qazox at the Almintora National Stadium in Almintora, Turori on Matchday 13 of the World Cup 58 Qualifiers after their virtually ignorable match against Chenkorya on Matchday 12. Many were surprised to see the match held at the aging Almintora National, especially considering the larger capacities of the Cednia Beach Center and the Stadium of the Inurahtii. However, the Football Association of Turori (FAT) cites the atmosphere that is generated during big games on the National Stage just doesn't compare at the more expansive Cednia Beach Center, and the Stadium of the Inurahtii is too new for the fanbase to really have a grasp on the best place to group together for acoustics.

It is for that reason that the Eels have chosen to play what they hope is a 'statement' game at their old trusty friend, Almintora National.

While the Eels have long since been realistically eliminated from contention for the World Cup Finals with 6 defeats in their opening 9 matches, all the defeats have been close, especially the defeat away at Qazox which saw the Eels go down in a 1-2 result that saw them leading until the very end of the match.

The Eels will have Polar IslandStates Niko Marek at the reigns, a change from the first match which was piloted by Ancharmunn's Gerard O'Shaughnessy. With the Semi-Final stage of the Manager competition being a straight up compare, O' Shaughnessy was perhaps wise not to want to square off with Qazox for fear of failing to get the victory required to move on to the next phase. His concerns were even more solidified when Frederick Anxscht ripped off a 4-0 victory in his semi-final showcase, a result that any manager facing Qazox is unlikely to duplicate.

The Eels will be hoping to beat Chenkorya on Matchday 12 in order to take maximum momentum into their Qazoxian showdown.

Turori Eels WC58 Coaching Trial Schedule
MD1: Lambert Spiedel (CH) @.Switzida [L 1-2]
MD2 BYE
MD3: Brian Ying Uing (TAE) @.Chenkorya [L 0-3]
MD4: Gerard O'Shaughnessy (ANC) @.Qazox [L 1-2]
MD5: Frederick Anxscht (LAN) v.Kalumba [W 3-1]
MD6: Mikael Gibbons (DAR) @.Virabia [L 1-3]
MD7: Kirby Hurst (CvC) v.Sjovenia [W 1-0]
MD8: Vladimir O'Shea (EFL) v.Homelands Our [L 0-1]
MD9: Niko Marek (PIS) @.Wolfmanne [L 2-3]

MD10: Frederick Anxscht (LAN) v. Switzida [W 4-0]
MD11 BYE
MD12: Kirby Hurst (CvC) v. .Chenkorya
MD13: Niko Marek (PIS) v. .Qazox
MD14: Gerard O'Shaughnessy (ANC) @ .Kalumba

MD15: Finalist #1 v. .Virabia
MD16: Finalist #2 @ .Sjovenia

MD17: TBD @.Homelands Our
MD18: TBD v.Wolfmanne

World Cup 58 RP Thread

Matchday 10: Gyatso-kai 1-1 Darmen

Dayakattai

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