World Cup 58 RP Thread

by **Jeruselem** » Thu Feb 02, 2012 5:15 pm

Queen Claire Isabella Dallas and her maid servant Emily after the big party at PolarIsland States ...

Izzy: Did I do anything stupid?
Emily: Yes
Izzy: Oh that's OK, we I have upkeep the family reputation.
Emily: You got naked
Izzy: Well, who cares.
Emily: I made you some coffee.
Izzy: Oh thanks, you're the best.
Emily: You didn't have sex with anyone.
Izzy: Oh good, don't want to have kids yet.
Emily: Would be embarassing if Emperor Boston was the father of your kids
Izzy: Oh yes, bad bad that. He was there wasn't he?
Emily: Yes and he got really drunk too.
Izzy: Yeah but the guy with Boston's tag didn't look like Boston and that Mr Firth was annoying.
Emily: Mr Firth was Boston, dunno who that other guy was.
Izzy: I thought something was wrong there. Say, what's this watermelon doing here.
Emily: You used it for a helmet.
Izzy: For what?
Emily: Sliding down the stairs naked.
Izzy: Woah, can't remember that bit.
Emily: I don't you remember most of it.
Izzy: Maybe it's good thing.
Emily: Probably is.
Izzy: I guess it's time go home.
Emily: Might be a good idea, too much partying.
Izzy: We keep on saying that.
Emily: Well, we're here a good time not a long time.
Izzy: There's a song about us
Emily: Last friday night.
Izzy: That's it.

Emily

Code: Select all: There's a stranger in my bed, There's a pounding my head Glitter all over the room Pink flamingos in the pool I smell like a minibar DJ's passed out in the yard Barbie's on the barbeque There's a hickie or a bruise Pictures of last night Eended up online I'm screwed Oh well It's a black top blur But I'm pretty sure it ruled Last Friday night Yeah we danced on tabletops And we took too many shots Think we kissed but I forgot Last Friday night Yeah we maxed our credit cards And got kicked out of the bar So we hit the boulevard Last Friday night We went streaking in the park Skinny dipping in the dark Then had a menage a trois Last Friday night Yeah I think we broke the law Always say we're gonna stop-op Whoa-oh-oah This Friday night Do it all again This Friday night Do it all again

by **Saugeais** » Thu Feb 02, 2012 6:17 pm

I had a ton of fan letters pile in to the newsroom about this one specific topic all throughout the day yesterday, asking if it was true. Well Saugeais fans, I can assure you it is exactly what you've been waiting to hear. Amaechi Olsen, the Knights' all-time leading scorer and most capped played, has just hit the century mark in goals. Sitting at 96 after the first leg of the World Cup qualifiers, the Knights had two matches on their agenda that soon turned into three. In the Legends Cup, Saugeais had one last chance to advance to the next round, but went up against one of the co-hosts of the tournament, Andossa Se Mitrin Vega. Somehow, someway, the Knights pulled off a stunning 3-0 upset against them down at Stadii se Draggonnii Arcea. Olsen one of those goals, as a penalty kick in the second half. "My only guess is that they weren't prepared," said manager Mag Aonghusa. "I don't like suggesting that sort of thing, but they seemed off in their movements; I guess even the best teams in the world have their off days."

Saugeais advanced to play Astograth a mere four days later at Stade de Montagne. The two teams came out fighting and shooting, ending the first 90 minutes in a 2-2 draw. The first half of extra time saw Olsen net his 98th international goal to give Saugeais the lead in the 98th minute, but quick double strike from Astograthian Soter Sarlange in the second half of extra time made sure the opponents would move on to the next round.

Finally, the only friendly on the list was a match at home against fellow Rushmori nation, Polar Islandstates. Much like the Astograth match, both teams came out firing shots left and right. Olsen's 99th goal came in the 46th minute, a laser fired from the top of the penalty area, to tie up the match at 2 goals apiece. However, the Terns would capitalize on a major error by Jenson Paulson, allowing them to score in the 67th minute.

And now to the first match back into qualifying. Saugeais defeated Elmonia 2 goals to nil in the very first match this season, and the Knights were looking at nothing short of a convincing victory to keep pace with Vilita, and attempt to catch leader Mytannion. Saugeais got off to a flying start, as 4 minutes in, a cheeky through pass from Olsen found Dan Nagato, who struck a better shot just under the crossbar to give Saugeais the early lead. In the 16th minute, Saugeais had a break up the left flank, where Nagato crossed a low liner into the box, where Sasha Krause dove forward and deflected the ball with his head. It knuckled in the air as flew goalward, confusing the keeper, who mistimed his leap, and the ball sunk into the net to double the Knights lead. Saugeais continued to add to their lead in the 41st minute, as the Knights had a corner kick opportunity. Krause lobbed a high floater that Klaus Rheinholt was the first to reach. He headed it downward, but as the keeper get his head on it to deflect it away, an Elmonian defender got in the way of the ball. It bounced off of his back and dribbled into the net to put Saugeais up 3-0 at the half.

"The way we played, we could have scored more in both halves," said Aonghusa. "But first and foremost, we gotta keep the lead intact. If we don't, we're just asking for trouble." Saugeais did play a little more conservatively in the second half, and the Elmonians started to push forward. In the 56th minute, Jenson Paulson, who was not playing well all game, mishandled a shot by Aa Eo, ad the ball scooted into the net. Paulson acknowledged the crowd's boos by hanging his head in shame, at which point manager Aonghusa subbed him out for Jacques Martin. Then the moment everyone in the crowd was waiting for, happened in the 79th minute. With the Knights's pressuring inside the penalty box, a wild tackle by the defenders prompted a penalty kick, and the crowd got on their feet. Olsen lined up his target, paused, and struck the ball clean into the right side of the net, leaving the keeper frozen. Saugeais were now up 4-1, but Olsen and the crowd were celebrating his achievement: 100 goals in 125 international matches.

After the match, Olsen said of his performance, "It was definitely one of the nights I'll remember for the rest of my life, now we just need to go out and finish the rest of the qualifying round strong. This acheivement, all my years of service to this team, will mean nothing to me if we don't get to the Finals." Aonghusa spoke next in the post-match press conference, stating, "Consistency is key, y'know, and right now we need to be consistent in our attack and defense. Attacking is great, no problems with that, but the defense needs to step up late. We can't let teams push us around when we are tired. Also, we need to be mentally ready; the event with Paulson is just mental. He needs to know that, and for now he will still be out keeper until otherwise noted." Saugeais will be at Landereien next match day, looking to add to their win total.

by **Darmen** » Thu Feb 02, 2012 7:01 pm

January 12th, 2012
IG-2 Headquarters, and Tim O'Donahaue's new House

Tim left the Ig-2 Headquarters carrying a box full of his possesions. Suprisingly it was pretty light, a few pictures, some documents, awards, his pistol, and his laptop. He loaded his possesions into his brand new car, a 2012 Kilboro King Tiger, green with two white stripes running down the middle. The car had been a gift from the Darmeni Soccer Federation.

He drove off to his appartment to check on how the moving men were doing. When he found the movers were having no trouble loading his possesions into the moving van, he hurried off to his new house, a 400,000 Baba Mansion(another gift from the DSF), complete witha full sixe football pitch in the back yard.

Georges Thomas, the once famous National Team Manager and now the President of the DSF, was there waiting for him, "Well Tim, your first practice is scheduled to begin at 8a.m. tomorrow morning. What do you plan on working on?"

"I though we might work a bit on our set peices and corners. I can't remember the last time we scored on a header."

"Zach Preston, against Ko-oren during World Cup 56 qualifying, if I do recall."

"Yeah, and that was like six months ago."

"Just remember, you need to be strict with them, they get a little rowdy when you go easy on them. You need to be in their face, yell at them a lot. It'll keep them focussed on the goal, qualifying for the proper."

"Any player or players I should be particularily worried about?"

"Lee and Faulkner. On the field they're best of friends, off it, they hate each other. They don't show it in public, but in the dressing room, watch out. Preston is usually the only one who can stop them, but sometimes he fails, and they both go after him, which get's the whole team going."

"How long has this been going on for?"

"Since we failed to win the second Swift Cup. But I only know this from Gibbons, so don't ask for any details."

The two men continued to talk all afternoon, before Thomas finally left to meet with the Chairman of the Darmeni National Olympic Committee. Tim started to direct the moving men, who had just arrived, on where to place the furniture. Once the mowing men had finished and left, Tim looked around him. What he saw wasn't good. The furniture didn't go well with the house, not at all. Couch's with ketchup stains on them in a Mansion, yeah, you see that all the time, he thought to himself. He decided that he would go shopping the next oppritunity he got for new furniture.

Tim went to bed early, as he had a long day ahead of him. However, he couldn't fall asleep, as his mind kept racing with thoughts. Only days before, he had been in Sargossa, planting bugs in an abandoned Parliament Building. Now he was manager of the Men's National Team. Things had changed so fast.

by **Astograth** » Thu Feb 02, 2012 7:03 pm

“What do you have to say for yourselves?”

The players looked back at Pieran's irate face with smiles that froze and slowly turned into frowns.

“Don't just stare at me! What are you, mute on top of deaf, that you can't follow instructions!”

“Boss, we won,” said Dei Ormache, his right hand holding the captain's armband and the left a Saugeais jersey. Amaechi Olsen's, which he already had from playing against him in the Divisjon One, but never for the national team, and not these special limited edition Legends ki-

“No! No, in normal time we drew. And if we want to go to the World Cup, a draw is not acceptable. Against anyone!” Pieran yelled, his face red and fist banging on the tiny collapsible table for emphasis. He folded his arms and glared at his players, forcing them to look away one by one. Bartosz Slusarski didn't.

“You! Mytanar boy! You think a draw's acceptable?”

“We won, boss.”

“NO! NO WE DID NOT! Do you think they'll give us more time when we're drawing bloody Ossidiacqua, or Cotdelapoms, or Ko-oren, or whatever? Of course not, you dimwit hooligan. What we did out there is draw. Is that clear? Does that get through your skull, Mytanar boy, huh?”

“Pieran, that's uncalled for,” said Milian Erburu in a grave voice. The vice-captain stood tall above the manager, and his face looked carved from rock, “Leave him alone already. We understand you're not happy.”

Pieran shifted in his spot to face off with the centre-back, his mouth twisting into a slight sneer, “Do you? Do you really?” He looked around for someone not paying attention, and his eyes settled on Tipi Nanklares. As usual. “Nanklares!” he cried out, and when the striker looked up, “Do you know why a draw's not good enough?”

“Uh... boss... I, um, I mean, yeah. Yeah, um... a draw's not good enough 'cause, um, we didn't win?”

“And why is it so important that we didn't win?”

“'Cause, uh, 'cause it's Saugeais?”

“No! No, you bloody Basabian vine-swinger!”

“Pieran-”

“Yes, I know, Erburu! Nanklares, everyone: if we set the bar anywhere but the top, we won't get to the top. You want to be the best, you gotta beat the best. Beat the best. Not lose-one nil, not draw them, not anything but beat them. Listen, we're the top scorers in the qualifiers, 40 bloody goals, and Cotdelapoms still holds a point over us. Now, I intend to reach the World Cup through the red carpet and not the window that is playoffs, so from now on I expect only wins. Against anyone, and I won't take any excuses.

Guys. Push yourselves to the limit; if it kills you it kills you. That's the price to pay if you want to be the best among hundreds, thousands and millions.”

by **Civil Citizenry** » Thu Feb 02, 2012 7:48 pm

 CIVIL CITIZENRY 1,  VILITA 0

BAKERS SCORERS:
Ingram Ackleigh
BAKERS STARTERS:
G. Diamond, J. Scoville, B. Barclay, B. Wainwright, L. Garroway
P. Pollock, L. Sutton, L. Goldwin, V. Hewitt
M. Royce, I. Ackleigh
JUNGLE CATS SCORERS:
none
JUNGLE CATS STARTERS:
J. Canopii, K. Molali, M. Makose, T. Leabiura
T. Treola, R. Tzikas, A. Jiurjai, R. Kentiak, S. Siazzu
S. Moliaudo, Y. Gadois
Venue: unknown, Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
Attendance: unknown
Managers: Wladyslaw Bashirskaya (Bakers), Tika Massa (Jungle Cats)
Player of the Match: Ingram Ackleigh
Team Records (since start of World Cup qualification): Bakers 6-2-3, Jungle Cats 5-3-2

There is nary a Citiz who can remember the Candelariasian glory days, at least in the sporting world. It was World Cup 44 when the large collection of islands north of Branta first hosted a championship football competition. Not one tournament later, the glorious Cup breached its borders for the first time. Eventually, the great football team rose to the highest position in the world rankings, solidifying its prestige with back-to-back appearances in the Cup final. The opponent in each final was The Holy Empire, the wonderful home of effervescent Ug-Ug and eternal Juan Tzimisces; the who-knows-whats claimed its first championship in the forty-eighth edition, but several years later the Big Blues were able to win it all once again.

Yes, the glory days of Candelariasian rule. You could spot the bright yellow shirts, decorated with green stars and some undecipherable yet professional-looking design in white, from a mile away from any away stadium. The ebullient shout of "DANNY ADAMS SCORES A-GAIN" was heard 'round the multiverse time and a-gain. Beautiful Jhanna Young was the centerpiece of any remotely notable fashion/style/variety/men's/women's magazine. Of course there was a lovable benchwarmer with a name no one could remember (Toirdhealbharch O’Airmeadhaigh) but a smile that brightened the living room of any television-watching family.

The forty-ninth coming of the Cup was, in particular, a magical run from start to finish. The Candelariasian football governing body, CAMAFA, was accused of match-fixing; manager Andy Le Lan came under fire for selecting a questionable roster and starting formation; the team lost two consecutive matches for the first time in so many years, even Tzimisces' memory probably failed him in trying to recall the last time it happened. Nevertheless, this was a team whose ranking bested all comers, so in hindsight it wasn't terribly surprising to see them steamroll through competition till the knockout rounds. An epidemic of food poisoning among the Dancougarian squad gifted C&M a victory in the round of sixteen, followed by a similar widespread sickness in the form of Qazoxian influenza. The Sarzonia Stars were no match for the three-starred Big Blues in the semifinals. Then it was national hero Jesse Nakatsuru - the man who hit the game-winner versus Dancougar - who knotted the final with The Holy Empire, and eventually helped guide the Candelariasians to a victory and the title.

When Adam Le Lan stepped down soon after winning the championship, he left behind a scattered yet proud legacy with C&M. The Citiz Football Association, in partnership with their Vegan colleagues and the National Society of Historians, wanted to recognize that legacy as part of the inaugural Legends of the World Cup tournament in Andossa Se Mitrin Vega. The Bakers, as the national football team is now nicknamed, proudly donned the famous yellow-and-black road kits in pulling off an evenly-matched victory over Saugeais, thanks to Taylor Renton's twenty-second minute goal. After a grueling first half of the fifty-eighth World Cup qualifying that saw Civil Citizenry placed in third in its group, the Bakers were proud to put on the blue-and-turquoise tops in facing a living legend of international football, Vilita.

Wladyslaw Bashirskaya is no Adam Le Lan, but he's got the same qualities of a sound tactician that Le Lan, twice a Champions' Cup winner with Albrecht FC, featured ten World Cups ago. He's no Citiz either, but his efficiency and no-nonsense style has been a perfect fit for a squad still looking for its first World Cup proper appearance. And while it may not seem terribly fitting for a team of such minor football stature to represent once-powerful Candelariasian football, the dedication itself is what counts.

So far in this Legends tournament, the Citiz have channeled some of the magic that the Big Blues conjured decades ago to the tune of two World Cups. Two victories, over Brantinental power Saugeais and Atlantian Oceanic rival Vilita, have placed the Bakers in the semifinals. Their opponent? The Holy Empire - the very same pesky nation that challenged C&M twice in World Cup finals and once emerged with a title. The parallels just keep coming.

The only thing that could make the Legends tournament a perfect reenactment of the World Cups of lore which were dominated by the Big Blues? The Big Red pulling off a longshot title run. That would require victories over The Holy Empire and, likely, four-time champion Valanora - quite the daunting task for a squad ranked forty-third in the world. Civil Citizenry could use some faerie dust a-gain.

by **Erathore** » Thu Feb 02, 2012 8:04 pm

Life At The Top Is Great

A goal from Del Nieran in the 42nd minuete was enough to beat Yesopalitha and propel Erathore over Bostopia into the drivers seat of Group 1. Long spells of possession from resulted in Del Nieran neatly one touching the ball into the bottom right hand corner of the net to send la furia azule up by one. And one was all it took. That and copious amounts of possession and brilliant passing. Overall is was another brilliant game.

Ringëril came close to scoring when he caught the keeper off guard with a 25 yard shocker. Unfortunately, the ball kissed the bar as it went over and kept the game at 1-0. No real chances from Yesopalitha during the first half. He came close a few other times but didn't grab a goal. Nao came close in the 66th minute when he nuked a shot at goal, but it bounced off the sidebar to deny him the goal.

The only change for the match against Baleyroh is Cesc Celestino replacing Ricardo Villa.

by **Qazox** » Thu Feb 02, 2012 8:59 pm

Lynn's Hat-trick sparks Eagles' comeback v. Wolfmanne

Trailing 2-1 at the half, thanks to goals in the 27th and 35th minutes by Wolmanne after Doreen Dobbs scored in the 16th minute; Dwight Lynn took over in the second half scoring his second career hat-trick with goals int he 58th, 64th and 84th minutes. With the win, Qazox improves to 6-2-1 in qualifying.

But the big news of the night was Sjovenia's 1-0 upset of Virabia, coupled with Qazox' win, puts the Eagles into first place in the group by a point with 7 games left. it's still too early to try to predict any playoff postioning, but based on over 10,000 simulations, Qazox will now likely need to go 4-2-1 or 5-1-1 over the last 5 games to ensure themselves at worst a playoff berth.

Dwight Lynn had this to say after the game:

I got lucky on two of those goals. The defense with an earlier cut or a deeper angle would've cut me off on the first goal. As for the 3rd goal, if the ball didn't deflect off that rock, odds are their keeper would've gotten to it. I just hope that we can continue this streak into the bye next weekend. Every point will be critical, I think and we need to get as many as we can against the teams we should beat.

Up next, Qazox travels to Switzida on Sunday, seeking to not be upset before the bye next weekend.

by **Nicole Scherzinger** » Thu Feb 02, 2012 9:03 pm

Her Majesty's Stadium Locker Rooms
Hileau, Nicole Scherzinger

"Did you hear the Queen was going to be at today's game, ladies?" asked an enthusiastic Maria Murguía.

"Huh? What?" said various members of the Nicole Scherzinger national soccer team.

"Where did you hear this Maria?" questioned Crista Angeloni. "We thought it was just some rumor..."

"It isn't a rumor," Maria replied. "Just got a text from my boyfriend, Maxwell. Seems like it's breaking news that the Queen will be making an official visit to today's game against Krytenia. Gotta be on our best behavior for her."

Everyone groaned.

"So we have to bow to her along with everyone else in the stadium when she arrives?" asked Sophia Heimler.

"Shh!" shrieked Crista. "Don't say that so loud...you know what the Queen does to people who don't agree with the Queendom's traditions and customs."

"Actually, I don't." Sophia shot back. "I heard a few things, like people go to prison for a week, but nothing too serious."

"Well the reason why you don't hear anything too serious is because the media covers it up."

Sophia rolled her eyes. "Oh come on. A conspiracy, really?"

A few members of the team laughed, while Crista glared at Sophia. Crista returned the look and Sophia turned away.

"What's wrong?" asked Maria.

"Nothing." Sophia replied curtly. "But my best friend, Ava...her...her...parents were taken away just a few weeks ago by the government. Apparently they share a blog together and post a bunch of anti-government stuff. A lot of speech talking about how they should abolish the Queendom and make Nicole Scherzinger a full democracy."

The whole team gasped. What they must have said sounded like complete treason. No one was to talk about getting rid of the Queen. She ruled with an even hand, and few ever found the need to criticize her reign.

"Yeah," Sophia continued. "That's why I don't want to 'bow' down to the queen. She might be the leader, but I don't feel like she is greater than me."

"Wow Sophia stop talking! Who knows if someone installed video cameras or listening devices....oh my that would be perverted. Think about it. A video camera in the girl's locker room? How sick of someone to do that!"

A few laughed nervously.

"So Krytenia huh ladies?" said Jenny Rodriguez.

"Yep." nodded Crista. "We can do this. Just remember what happened last time...we tied them 1-1."

"We'll improve," agreed Sophia. "By the way, does anyone find it odd that we were paired with Swartaz again for this World Cup Qualifying? They were in the same group as us in World Cup 57!"

"Yeah, I knew they seemed familiar," commented Jenny. "I believe we tied them the first time they played us in World Cup 57 and then we lost to them 1-0 the next time. Thank goodness we have avenged that loss for the exact same score- but in our favor!"

"Totally." said Crista. "But ladies, let's focus on Krytenia. Strategies?"

"Don't lose." mocked Sophia.

"Thank you for your well-thought input," remarked Crista, sarcastically. "As team captain, I just want to say let's hit them with all we got. We tied them before, and we have a chance to have some fun out there. All in?"

Everyone huddled together and put their hands in the middle.

"Owls on three." said Crista. "One..Two...Wait. Where's Madison? Madison?"

Crista and a few other girls broke the huddle to look for her. "Well this is awkward." said Sophia.

"Stop being your immature, sarcastic self." said Jenny.

"Found her!" yelled Maria, who had walked in to the other part of the locker room.

"Madison, let's go girl. Team huddle."

Madison Dervishi, the star forward of the team, sat listening to her music at full blast. She sang along with the music:

"Uh.Uh. Da-da-da-da-don't let me die young. I just want you to father my young. I just want you to be my docta'. We gonna gonna get a ch-ch-ch-chiropactor. I-I-I-I-I. I know you can see me. And make me feel alive. Make me come alive and come on and turn me on!"

By the time she got to that part the whole team was there, watching her sing to herself. Madison seemed too oblivious to realize that the whole team was trying not to crack up while she sang a poor version of Nicki Minaj's 'Turn Me On.'

"MADISON!" shouted Crista.

"Huh what?!?" said a bewildered Madison. "Oh my gosh...have you guys been standing there this whole time...?" She turned off her music and took off her headphones. "Err..I'm here!" she said while leaping off the bench.

"Team huddle. Thirty minutes until kickoff. Get your rear over here. Alright. Owls on three. One...two...three! LET'S GO OWLS! Now Madison you can get back to practicing your vocals. We'll need you to render a version of that song when we win tonight."

by **Michael VII** » Thu Feb 02, 2012 10:00 pm

A few days out of the office and we start winning? Oh what the hell!

Well, its not really winning so much, but its been unusually long since a loss. We've managed to move up to 5th in Qualifying Group Two, still not a chance of qualifying, but its a good effort. Tying with West Zirconia was nice, a 2-all thriller, BEATING Royalsoldiers 2-0 was amazing! Beating Space 1-0 in a friendly away from home, was an OUT OF THIS WORLD result! <Gets slapped for horrible use of pun> And getting a tie with Sheepish 1-all was well, disappointing, but better than losing to those mofos again! So, its been alright, but I think fate is against me. I have a nice 3-day break and don't get to report about any of our good results because we do well when I'm out of the office. And when I come back we get those darned Sheep again! Grr...I'm really starting to not like that country. Did anyone say hostile takeover?

But at least my meds haven't needed to be touched too much recently, so for now, my mental health is more of a non-issue. For now at least.

The issue at hand is that Michael VII football could well be getting near the World Cup finals in a few cycles. Going to ASMV would've been nice, as the players are the same from the 43rd Baptism of Fire that was held there a few years ago now, but right now, Margaret seems to love to hate us from the start, forcing us to catch up from behind, which isn't gonna happen, not with draws anyway. So now its been 7 games without a loss, which I believe is our best streak ever, in which we've had 3 wins and 4 draws. Not bad boys, not bad.

Anyway, this will be the last time that Michael VII's born, bred and beloved Arjen Miller will comment on our football team and its highs and lows, mainly its lows. Because...I'M GOING TO OSARIUS! Turns out they read my column, and the OSN offered me a job, and look at that, they're 2nd in their group right now! I might actually talk about a team that makes the finals! Bahaha suckers! Good luck with this WC100 team, us Osarians will be in the finals come a few weeks time. Miller is outskis!

<slams door and drives off giving the one finger salute to News Boss Owen Carter>

by **Andossa Se Mitrin Vega** » Fri Feb 03, 2012 1:40 am

And now for the "we finally made it home" RP cutoff.

MD10 Scores

by **Ko-oren** » Fri Feb 03, 2012 3:43 am

Ko-oren Sports Network

All Crescendo for Ko-oren

Half-way qualification, Ko-oren find themselves in a fantastic spot - 4th in group 19. Ko-oren has won three, lost three and drew three. With 12 points in 9 matches, the green-blues silence all critics, on the pitch and off of it. 12 scored, 9 conceded - still group-topping Astograth scored 48 already.

The current Ko-orenite team stuns all fans and enemies by its enthusiasm and teamspirit. Opponents also said that playing the green-blues never was a punishment because of their fair way of playing, sportsmanship and the friendly athmosphere around the stadium.

The class of the team is also to be commended, as the newly revived team suddenly achieve everything that nobody would ever have dreamed of. Expectations ranged from 9th in the group to 7th in the group, but also due to the success in the Market Cup V, where Ko-oren showed the world its class for the first time, it is apparent that the 'verdazzurri' still have lots of their ability undiscovered, will they show that in the second half of the qualication?

Back to the Market Cup V, where Ko-oren alternately played in the World Cup and the Market Cup, and still beat most opponents in the way. In the Market Cup, the final was reached, however lost against the Equestrian States. Still, strong teams like Mangolana were beaten in the tournament, which also showed that the team has the ability to quickly recover and give even more in the next match. Market Cup V's silver was the first prize that the team ever won - and they're hungry for more. Reaching the World Cup has the same status as winning another cup - so Ko-oren should come far.

Team captain Sobek Dehenat is quick to lower the expectations: 'We've only just begun. It'd be ludicrous if you already start to long for things like qualification - many great teams went through campaigns without qualification. Do you really think that we'd be able to do something like that on only our second-ever try? Or rather the first one - none of our players have played in a qualification before. Please don't say things like that...'

Still, with the entire team now solely concentrated on the World Cup, good things should happen.

by **New Montreal States** » Fri Feb 03, 2012 3:57 am

There was nary a single happy camper in the NMS locker room after the side had tripped on their faces at the Paladin Dome, somehow allowing a pack of bears to remain in the game for the whole match. Players with media members in front of their lockers were giving terse, near-monosyllabic answers; players left to their own devices.

"We basically piled two points on the pitch, doused them in kerosene and tossed on a match," said Yves St-Zotique, ineffectual in a spot start after Fabrice Archer sprained his ankle against Mutual of Bloomington last week. Archer had been sent off to the hot tubs early, as much to avoid the press as to rest his mostly healed ankle. Ed, meanwhile, was loudly fulminating at his locker:

"What is this? F*****g Narnia? Hey guys, let's all ask for transfers to Beaversdam* and wait for Aslan to come coach us back from the dead!" He turned towards Denny Roy, emerging from the showers with a towel wrapped around his waist. "Yo, Shasta, get a move on to Anvard and help them lift the seige!"

"Are they even allowed to play competitively?" Ed kept going. "Didn't they swear some kind of feudal oath to assist the four Sons of Adam and Daughters of Eve over at Cair Paravel? What if the Calormenes descend while they're away?"

"It might all end up with a mildly paranoid, fantastically Islamophobic allegory about Muslims sneaking into England, then invading and subduing it, bringing about the end of the world, along with a bunch of passive-aggressive swipes at atheists and agnostics. So really, these guys ought to stay at home and help protect all Aslan's children."

William St. John de la Ware adjusted his bowtie in the full-length mirror he kept in his locker at the Paladin Dome. "Wasn't The Last Battle just a flashback in the Pevensies' imagination when all six of the children who had gone to Narnia perished in a ghastly locomotive accident?"

"I used to think that," replied Ed. "But then I played two matches against a pack of goddamned talking bears, one of them in a nation full of goddamned talking bears, and I realized that C.S. Lewis actually wrote a goddamned travelogue. The man was trying to warn us all along!"

Cory Taylor, who had been ignored by the press and consequently hadn't said a word since the final whistle blew, lifted his head up. "Can it, you two. Do you really want to get angry letters from a bunch of pissed-off bears?"

The conversation died down and the players left the locker room with solemn looks on their faces.

*Bottom-dwelling side in a city of about 2 million. Oddly enough, there are also cities named Beruna and Anvard.

by **Vilita** » Fri Feb 03, 2012 5:22 am

VILITA DUMPED OUT OF LEGENDS CUP
Civil Citizenry Team Knocks out the Jungle Cats

After a surprise victory over Astograth in the first round of the Legends of the World Cup Tournament hosted by Andossa Se Mitrin Vega, the Jungle Cats resumed Legends of the World Cup play during the halfway point of World Cup Qualifying. Starting the first half wearing the old Liverpool England kit, the Vilitan lineup contained many unfamiliar faces to followers.

Jungrii Canopii got the call in net where he was backed up by Jawz Tiiaupila, with Nycflala Kater staying behind in Vilita for the match. Timmson Leabiura, who plays club footy in Civil Citizenry and has some familiarity with the opposition, more than any other player in the squad, also got a rare start.

Ahead of the defense, Tujamu Treola replaced Retiso Buran. The midfield looked pretty typical although Jomur Hulyer got the match off, while the Forward lines were completely changed. Young prospect Yves Gadois got a run out for the National Team while he was joined by Marine Coat United's Sirkii Moliaudo.

The Jungle Cats played strongly despite all the changes as the teams went in level at the half. For the second half, the Vilita National Team came out wearing Krytenian Kits, a controversial decision considering the kits that the Civil Citizenry team had on. The dark blue on cyan clashed remarkably with the blue kits of C&M that were being worn by the opposition.

The Jungle Cats hoped to take advantage of this, with Viliaka Morasita entering the match at the half, but it was Civil Citizenry that actually broke through taking the 1-0 lead. Towards the end of the match, Coach Tikas Massa introduced Xcnao Bansoa into the match, but it was too little too late as the Jungle Cats fell to defeat, knocking them out of the Legends o the World Cup competition.

Despite the defeat, the oddsmakers apparently like the Vilitan chances to rebound from the poor result in the Legends Cup and qualify for the World Cup Finals. The Jungle Cats were given 8:1 odds of progressing to the tournaments final stage, the second best odds in Group 10. The Jungle Cats odds are even listed as being better than that of playoff competitors Saugeais, despite the fact that Saugeais currently sits in the playoff position of the group with a goal differential superior to that of the Jungle Cats. The likely reason for this is due to Vilita's head to head victory over Saugeais and performance in equal matches.

[GK] Jungrii Canopii, [D] Kadi Molali, [D] Miiara Makose, [D] Timmson Leabiura, [DMC] Tujamu Treola, [ML] Rexii Tzikas, [MC] Aniara Jiurjai, [MC] Resaie Kentiak, [MR] Steffyn Siazzu, [FC] Sirkii Moliaudo, [FC] Yves Gadois
BENCH::
[FC] Xcnaio Bansoa, [FC] Viji-mara Lawaai, [M] Jomur Hulyer, [M] Viliaka Morasita, [U] Niubo Deneli, [D] Uajiala Pulkki, [GK] Jawz Tiiaupila

by **Turori** » Fri Feb 03, 2012 5:52 am

HUGE WIN FOR EELS TURNS A NEW LEAF
Anxscht exclamates his Chances with 4-0 Drubbing

Frederick Anxscht solidiefied his claim as the top candidate for the Turoria National Team coaching position with a 4-0 drubbing of Switzida to open the second half of World Cup Qualifying. The Landereien manager claimed the top performance during the first half of World Cup Qualifying leading the Eels to a 3-1 victory over Kalumba. In his second performance with the squad, Anxscht improved even on that result, winning a 4-0 result against Switzida in super fashion, proving distinctly that the Eels were right to exclude Lambert Spiedel from the final four, Spiedel who had failed to gain a point in the opening meeting against a poor Switzida side.

The Eels were attacking throughout the match, putting 8 shots on target and netting on 50% of those chances.

Liinai Zakazaka struck first, opening the scoring just 7 minutes in. Zakazaka doubled the Eels advantage just minutes later with the second goal of the match to put Turori cruising through to a 2-0 advantage.

Cruise Control was fully engaged just before half time as Yoains Konoaafeo netted the 3rd goal for Turori, as Lambert Spiedel had to be matching from home resigned to the fact he just wasn't good enough to accomplish what Anxscht was able to do with this Eels Squad.

Despite an abysmal performance throughout the match, Rikko Rawaii tapped in a sitter in the closing minutes to put the icing on the cake for Turori, punctuating a 4-0 victory, the Eels 3rd win in the nine matches thus far in World Cup 58 Qualifying.

The result was a massive one for Frederick Anxscht, the top seed from the first portion of the Turorian National Team Manager Trials. Anxscht chose to go first in the second round and set the bar high for this opponents in a direct compare result shootout. The other managers will now be looking to improve or match Anxscht's feat to have a reasonable chance to move on. Many expect the only real challenge will come on Matchday 15 when O'Shaughnessy takes control of the squad against Kalumba.

Turori Goalscorers::
7' Liinai Zakazaka
10' Liinai Zakazaka
40' Yoains Konoaafeo
86' Rikko Rawaii

Switzida Goalscorers::
-None-

Turori

Best Player: Cediici Tzatzos
Worst Player: Rikko Rawaii
Shots on Target: 8
Corner Kicks: 4

Switzida

Best Player: D
Worst Player: MC
Shots on Target: 1
Corner Kicks: 0

Turori Eels Lineup ::
[GK] Ronji Miiastara, [D] Yoains Konoaafeo, [D] Lioniaa Tana, [D] Diauro Dlaminii, [UT] Restiaa Mumamba, [ML] Rikko Rawaii, [MC] Cediici Tzatzos, [MC] Vrotaoa Lorasoiba, [MR] Tiika Diirotora, [FC] Liinai Zakazaka, [FC] Loala Kigoouao
BENCH::
[FC] Anuh Ciniima, [FC] Jukkia Diijelhma, [M] Raso Tareak, [M] Rutaj Ranaso, [UT] Balariita Muzmaara, [D] Noa-isinao Wioauoi, [GK] Mumau Atla-Siioai

Turori Eels WC58 Coaching Trial Schedule
MD1: Lambert Spiedel (CH) @.Switzida [L 1-2]
MD2 BYE
MD3: Brian Ying Uing (TAE) @.Chenkorya [L 0-3]
MD4: Gerard O'Shaughnessy (ANC) @.Qazox [L 1-2]
MD5: Frederick Anxscht (LAN) v.Kalumba [W 3-1]
MD6: Mikael Gibbons (DAR) @.Virabia [L 1-3]
MD7: Kirby Hurst (CvC) v.Sjovenia [W 1-0]
MD8: Vladimir O'Shea (EFL) v.Homelands Our [L 0-1]
MD9: Niko Marek (PIS) @.Wolfmanne [L 2-3]

MD10: Frederick Anxscht (LAN) v. Switzida [W 4-0]
MD11 BYE
MD12: Kirby Hurst (CvC) v. .Chenkorya
MD13: Niko Marek (PIS) v. .Qazox
MD14: Gerard O'Shaughnessy (ANC) @ .Kalumba

MD15: Finalist #1 v. .Virabia
MD16: Finalist #2 @ .Sjovenia

MD17: TBD @.Homelands Our
MD18: TBD v.Wolfmanne

by **Vilita** » Fri Feb 03, 2012 5:55 am

VILITA TAKE DOWN NETHERTOPIA

Jungle Cats Keep Pace in Group 10 with 2-0 Victory

The Jungle Cats opened up the second half of World Cup qualifying against Nethertopia in the Tivali Ring Stadium in Alikki-Corra. While the Jungle Cats used to play all of their matches in the Tivali Ring Stadium, its lack of expansion capacity coupled with the large expansion campaigns of existing Vilitan Stadiums, and construction of brank new facilities like Lunar Park in Seraai and the National View Stadium have made some start tho question whether the 'Ring was going to start losing its place in the National Rotation altogether.

So long as the Lirai Asku Castle remains a popular National Team destination, with its capacity barely over 62,000, it is not likely that the Football Association of Vilita would altogether stop scheduling matches at the Tivali Ring Stadium, especially considering all the history that resides in the ground.

Some have discussed, however, that the Tivali Ring Stadium, since it is not used for any club teams, could easily be torn down and replaced with a similar structure with a great capacity, or, the Stadium could simply be closed down and demolished to make room for some shops and homes. Local resident do not seem to be supporting the latter proposal, most welcoming the presence of a National Team stadium in their home town.

The Jungle Cats opened the match more brightly than they had in the first match between the two sides in Nethertopia. Viji-mara Lawaai netted in the 22nd minute to give eVilita the 1-0 advantage. Then, just before the half, Reii Tzikas scored to put Vilita up 2-0 going into the break.

Coaches Wrice and Massa did make one change at half time, bringing an even more attacking look to the scond half with Sirkii Moliaudo coming in behind the forwards in a placement role.

The Jungle Cats had a scare on the hour mark when Nycflala Kater jammed his hand against the near post while making a save. With Vilita already up 2-0, the coaches decided it wan't worth risking it, and substituted Kater so the goalkeeper could rest. Jungrii Canopii entered the match, and was joined soon after by Uajiala Pulkki who entered the match in place of goalscorer Rexii Tzikas.

The Jungle Cats easily coasted to victory, with the full time score being 2-0.

Unfortunately for the Jungle Cats, their less aggressive strategies are still seeing them drift further outside the top positions as rivals Saugeais and Mytannion both stretched the goal differential again with big victories on Matchday 10.

The Jungle cats control their own destiny, still having Mytannion and Saugeais yet to play on the schedule, but wouldn't mind having some assistance in the way of goals differential and having their opponents drop some points along the way, to give themselves a better chance at overcoming them for a chance at the finals.

Vilita Goalscorers::
22' Viji-mara Lawaai
42' Rexii Tzikas

Nethertopia Goalscorers::
- None -

Vilita
Best Player: Rexii Tzikas
Worst Player: Nycflala Kater
Shots on Target: 6
Corner Kicks: 5

Nethertopia
Best Player: Left Midfield
Worst Player: Right Defender
Shots on Target: 3
Corner Kicks: 4

Vilita Jungle Cats (3-(1-4)-2) ::
[GK] Nycflala Kater, [D] Ritopa Simafela, [D] Miiara Makose, [D] Kadi Molali, [DMC] Retiso Buran, [ML] Jomur Hulyer, [MC] Resaie Kentiak, [MC] Rexii Tzikas, [MR] Steffyn Siazzu, [FC] Kristofer Kilpter, [FC] Viji-mara Lawaai
BENCH::
[FC] Xcnaio Bansoa, [FC] Sirkii Moliaudo, [M] Viliaka Morasita, [M] Jian Lejsrma, [U] Uajiala Pulkki, [D] Niubo Deneli, [GK] Jungrii Canopii

Vilita Substitutions::
(45) - Resaie Kentiak >>> Sirkii Moliaudo
(64) - Nycflala Kater >>> Jungrii Canopii
(66) - Rexii Tzikas >>> Uajiala Pulkki

by **Baleyaroh** » Fri Feb 03, 2012 5:58 am

A great night for Baleyaroh fans as they flocked for the first time at Son Predes Stadium to see their team face the Cheergirls team. So far the field factor, at Venue Es Patatal, hadn't been favorable the "protesters", as they had collected defeats only. This time the team achieved to win their first point at home.

After the incidents in Baleyaroh's last encounter against the Cheergirls team coach Vernetta Lavongsar decided to trust again in Ellsworth Kellem and Nga Braver and this time they did not dissapoint. The game could have gone either way, with both teams having chances but failing to capitalize them, leaving the delighted Baleyaroh's fans a final result of 0-0.

Matchday 10

Group 1
Yesopalitha 0-1 Erathore
Mangolana 1-1 West Angola
Baleyaroh 0-0 Cheergirls
Sativaville 1-1 Bostopia

Tactical Update: Only one change for next game' starting 11 against the current group leaders, Erathore. The experienced Walton Deralph comes back taking the place of Carletta Mihor.

Starting 11
GK - 1- Risa Brittsan (31)
RD - 2- Florencia Nygaro (21)
LD - 5- Palmer Pav (19)
DF - 3- Digna Anoe (20) - Captain
DF - 4- Lurline Gals (30)
DM - 6- Alonso Heitmuller (28)
DM - 16- Hobert Mamone (24)
MC - 17- Walton Deralph (35)
RW - 10- Nga Braver (32)
LW - 11- Ellsworth Kellem (25)
FW - 19- Alejandrina Berley (18)

Subs
GK - 13- Jeromy Jubyna (18)
LD - 14- Rudolf Delgadillo (19)
DF - 15- Milan Mizee (25)
DM - 8- Hiroko Lipkovitch (30)
MC - 7- Carletta Mihor (23)
LW - 22- Sid Dellon (18)
FW - 9- Henriette Lighthart (25)

Reserves
GK - 23- Hilma Kellish (32)
RD - 20- Buck Moreci (25)
DM - 21- Jere Obermuller (16)
RW - 18- Diamond Argudin (32)
FW - 24- Jin Havekost (34)

by **Jeruselem** » Fri Feb 03, 2012 6:08 am

After Jeruselem's recent draw leaving them 5 points behind the leader ...

Sofia: HEY YOU
Russell: Hey, look I haven't done anything wrong.
Sofia: Rubbish
Russell: Like what ...
Sofia: You know what a goal is?
Russell: I suppose I do.
Sofia: WELL, you kick the ball into the net. Not over it, not at the keeper, not to the bloody left or right.
Russell: OK, my finishing isn't that good.
Sofia: Come on, you missed two good chances today. Short fucking range stuff.
Russell: Hey, I was under pressure from defenders.
Sofia: No, you were unattended you idiot.
Russell: Really? Well, didn't notice that.
Sofia: You had fucking time for a good shot, twice.
Russell: You missed a few.
Sofia: That's because I always have half the bloody opposition team following me around.
Russell: You must be popular then.
Sofia: No, I can score goals ... you can't.
Russell: I suppose I haven't scored one yet.
Sofia: Exactly.
Russell: I suppose ...
Sofia: Look, if you get a girl on the ground with her knickers off in seconds, surely kicking the ball in the right direction isn't hard.
Russell: But others didn't do well either you know.
Sofia; They got tackled or interfered with.
Russell: I'm a midfielder, not a striker.
Sofia: Doesn't matter if you're the goalkeeper, defender, midfield or striker. Surely, kicking the ball straight isn't hard.
Russell: I suppose those kicks were a bit off target.
Sofia: Like bloody right angles.
Russell: The ground was a bit soft and I kicked the ground first.
Sofia: No wonder you can't keep a girlfriend.
Russell: Girls are too fussy these days.
Sofia: Maybe they want someone who can score in bed too huh?
Russell: Err ...

by **West Angola** » Fri Feb 03, 2012 6:47 am

Namibe Register

Bringing you all the World Cup Action!

West Angola shocks Mangolana!

West Angola appears to be attempting to draw its way to the elimination round. The team drew for the third time in the round and second time overall yesterday against Mangolana, partially avenging a 6-3 loss in the opener. The team currently sits in 6th place in their qualifying group, but is only 1 point out of fifth. They next take on the Satiaville Stoners, one of only two teams they have beaten thus far.

Group 1 Standings:

1 Erathore 8 0 1
2 Bostopia 7 2 0
3 Mangolana 3 4 2
4 Mapletish 4 1 3
5 Cheergirls 3 1 5
6 West Angola 2 3 4
7 Yesopalitha 2 2 5
8 Baleyaroh 1 4 4
9 Sativaville 0 3 6

Match Schedule
1. Mangolana L 3-6
2. Sativaville W 1-0
3. Cheergirls L 1-0
4. Erathore L 2-1
5. Yesopalitha D 1-1
6. Baleyroh W 1-0
7. Bostopia L 4-0
8. Mapletish D 0-0
9. Bye
10. Mangolana D 1-1
11. Sativaville
12. Cheergirls
13. Erathore
14. Yesopalitha
15. Baleyroh
16. Bostopia
17. Mapletish
18. Bye

by **The Babbage Islands** » Fri Feb 03, 2012 9:19 am

We've got a shot tonight in Cardston!

No, I'm not talking about the Bumblebees, who face eighth-place Baltskandio at the U.F.O. We beat them 5-0 in the first leg on their ground, and we really don't expect a lot of trouble here. However, Jeremy McAllister, Jr. has his inexperienced team in decent form. They've played nine matches in qualifying and only failed to score in their game with us. And right before the break they shocked the football world with a 1-0 away win over Kagdazka and Pazhujebu. Don't take the Wave lightly.

In fact, Baltskandio have one Player To Watch: Ella Rasmussen, just turned twenty and firmly in charge of the attack. She has the right mix of tools for her new role as starting attacking midfielder. I really like her judgment both on and off the ball. And she seems to have that knack for lifting her companions common to enduring players. Still, she's got to get her charges to outfox players like Petardos S/A's Katja Mira and Belgium FC's Nancy Svoboda. Good luck with that! (What did I just say? Bad luck with that! Go Bumblebees! Still, gotta like this kid.)

But the shot I'm talking about is on the sixty-four square, black-and-white pitch. The girls and I are 4-1 with one match to play and could conceivably tie for the title. Patricia Valdemar is a clear 5/5 on third board, and Victoria pulled out our last match by claiming her first titled scalp. She beat IM Charles Tremblay playing the Black side of a fiery Leningrad Dutch. I was so proud. (Relieved, too, because I let a half-point slip away in time trouble.) Tremblay was most gracious. Most titled players would be disturbed by losing to a seven-year-old. He really took it in stride, reflecting that "she has a master's soul in a child's body." And my girls are pretty well-behaved, not bratty at all.

Back to football. The buzz on the first-division reorganisation is increasingly positive, or at least wait-and-see. A lot of people realise that the old economic models are fragile if not broken. Excepting a handful of clubs and their backers that feel like the door's been slammed on their aspirations, most are willing to give this a go.

Time to send this out and get ready to play. Smile!

by **The Kytler Peninsulae** » Fri Feb 03, 2012 10:22 am

"We've not played well enough to be where we are," suggested television pundit Stephen Orrinstone after Lymantatia held the Kytlerians to a 1-1 draw.

"You know, Milchama should be taking control of second spot in this group, and yet they're not, which is appalling for them, and very fortunate for us," replied his studio partner William Copperwaite.

"But they've lost their touch, haven't they?"

"How so?"

"They don't have long-winded conversations that are broadcast to the entire world anymore."

"Don't they?"

"Well, maybe they do. I've lost track."

"Well, if we keep talking like this, we could get our team playing like Milchama."

"But Milchama are below-"

"No, like Milchama used to play."

"The Milchama we expected to be second in this group and maybe win it?"

"That's the one."

"Is that going to be enough?"

"Well, in theory it's going to restart the RP-inin supplies."

"Why would it do that?"

"Well, generally that's correlated with how much media output is broadcast to the world, according to the University of Zube."

"Oh, not another of these Margaret Institute things, that must be the thousandth-"

"Not quite, only my nine hundred and eighty-fourth."

"Near enough."

"Just got another hundred and nine to squeeze in."

And at that moment, a lamp in the studio, with a shade that looked more at home in, well, a home - not a TV studio - crashed down from the ceiling and landed almost on top of Orrinstone.

"SLANI!"

He picked up the lampshade. On it was a hand-scrawled note. "Stop lampshading."

by **West Angola** » Fri Feb 03, 2012 11:58 am

Phillip Garren waited for King August in the lobby of the team hotel. Finally, a rather large limousine pulled up in front of the building, and a mess of security men, looking quite dour, piled out to shield the king as he exited the vehicle. August billowed through the door in full royal dress and headed straight for Garren, Phillip was amazed that the king could walk in such heavy regalia, but stepped forward to shake his hand anyway. August warmly returned the handshake, “Greetings, Coach Garren. May I congratulate you on the team’s excellent performance thus far in the Cup.”

“Thank you, your highness, but we haven’t done quite as well as I’d hoped.”

“Nevertheless, two wins and three draws in nine games is nothing to sneeze at for such a young team at its first cup. Never mind, I have come to observe the team in action against the Satiaville Stoners, and I hope to see a victory.”

“I believe you will, your majesty, but only if the team plays at its top level. The Stoners are a very good team.”

“Bah, they are in ninth place.”

“Yes, sir, but any team in the World Cup is a team to be reckoned with. Satiaville is good enough to beat nearly everyone in the group, but it would be most satisfying to defeat them twice. I believe their government predicted before play began that they would, how did they put it? Oh yes, ‘kick our asses.’”

August laughed and nodded. “I look forward to the game tonight. Now, if you would, please follow me, I would like to introduce you to someone.” Garren felt a flash of apprehension, was it possible August was planning to do away with him now? The man probably saw him as the last remnant of the team he’d purged, and Garren had no desire to be exterminated. “Well, you majesty, I would love to, but unfortunately I must meet with the team to go over final points of strategy for tonight, perhaps tomorrow?”

August looked annoyed, “Well, if you must.” He whirled on his heel and stalked out of the hotel, his retinue of security following. Garren was perplexed, August had gone from warm and jovial to angry and put-off in a matter of moments, what was wrong with him? “Oh well, no matter. I’ll let Luke know when he calls to report on the airport strike.” Turning away toward the elevator, Garren headed to the team meeting, August’s odd mood shift already fading from his mind.

Namibe Register

Rumors hurting Moderate Party, King's Supporters

Recent rumors of impropriety and actions of dubious legal nature have harmed the Moderate Party's stance in the polls. The party's disillusioned voters are mainly flocking to the Freedom Party, a group of semi-antiking people whose recent upswing has allowed them their own place in the election breakdown.

Current Parliamentary Breakdown:

Reform...36%

Old Guard...24%

Moderate...20%

Nationalist...15%

Other...5%

Leading Party...Reform

Projected Parliamentary Breakdown:

Reform...25%

Old Guard...21%

Nationalist...20%

Moderate...18%

Freedom...14%

Other...2%

Leading Party...Reform

Prime Minister:

Current: William Diamon(Reform)- 41% Approval Rating
Projected: William Diamon(Reform)- 41% Theoretical Approval Rating

Chenkorya on Last.fm · by **Chenkorya** » Fri Feb 03, 2012 12:09 pm

"You know what happened Quinten. We're back to place three in the group."

"You're saying that like it's the biggest drama happened in the last five years."

"Hrm. It is, more or less. In our small Chenkoryan football world, it is. It definitely is."

"Oh, come on! We can still qualify for the World Cup, maybe if we do a little bit better. Probably it's just the mistake that we didn't line up Joshua."

"Ah Joshua, the prodigy. Yeah, yeah, could be. Could be."

"Speaking about Joshua, how is it possible that he is not the biggest player of the world? He has such an amazing talent. Bigger than the whole team added together."

"Tut, tut, tut. Don't make it better as it. You are great too, Quint. But well.. he's the right footballer, but in the wrong nation."

"Why?"

"Let me tell you his story...."

Joshua Prekith - A Fairytale
Part I - The childhood

"It was 1989. A cold winter day, in a poor neighbourhood in Svobodata. Winds almost blew the roofs off the houses, whooshing sounds were dominant noises in and around the houses. It sounds like a horrible day. But for the family Prekith it was a beautiful day. Joshua's mother, Aloizja, was laying in her bed and she was about to give birth to a child. Joshua's father, Nenad Prekith, was sitting at the left side of the bed. He was almost squishing Aloizja's hand. There wasn't any help for the couple: according to the rules of the Chenkoryan Orthodox Church, you are not allowed to have any other people around you when bearing a child. A boy was always desirable in these parts of Chenkorya. Dzhoshua, or anglicized Joshua, was born. Joshua was a sweet child, could get along really well with his 1 year older brother Stojian. The problem was; his parents couldn't get along with each other. His father was drunk most of the time, and his mother was overwrought; caring for two little boys on your own isn't easy, especially when you're poor. Very poor. Almost fortunately, father crashed in a car accident. Fortunately for Aloizja, but for the children it was a blessing, but also a trauma. Aloizja also hadn't got a car anymore. Side issue of course, but an important one. So an issue. Joshua grew up, and when he was five years old, the government required all the children to go to school. So there Joshua went. With a too short pants, a spotty stripes t-shirt and a frayed small backpack. After a while, Joshua didn't turn out to be the best student ever. But at the schoolyard, the boys played football. Everyone was jealous on Joshua. Well, that's where his football carreer started. At the schoolyard."

"Wow, cool. Continue!"

"No, Quinten, next time. After this match. Good night."

by **Taeshan** » Fri Feb 03, 2012 12:15 pm

The Epic of Louis

There once was a boy named Louis,
Louis was destined to go on a great quest,
over hill and dale, through meadow and field,
past mountains of great height, and caves of great depth.
Louis was destined to be a hero, a man among boys.
Louis though had to come by this in a strange test,
A test of both man and mind.
A perilous journey it was to be.
A journey through both time and space.
A marvelous journey.
Louis was to become a great hero.
But first it started with a single step.
A step towards his future,
towards the future, for mankind.
A dragon he was destined to slay.
A demonous fiend in a far of land.
And thus he journeyed,
away from his home.
To seek his glory,
in a far of land.
And so he went.

by **Bears Armed** » Fri Feb 03, 2012 12:37 pm

“And so, it begins again…”

“Verrry portentous… and pointless. We all know that our first qualifying match this year is in two days time, already, and anyhows — as we all know too, even you, hrright? — all of the other teams in our group have already played their first games of this series…”

“Ayyuh. And of course our having our ‘bye’ hrright at the start means that Valladares got a chance to push us out of top place in the group, again, for now.”

“Ayyuh, but anybody who actually looks at the figures instead of just at the positions will see that we have a game in hand over them in which to make up the points… and as they only drew last week, hrrather than won — Good playing by the Beards, that was!”

“Ayyuh, it was, for true.”

“So that means, of course, that they’re only one point ahead of us at the moment instead of the three points ahead that they could have been. So, not hrreally so bad, hokay?”

“Maybeso hokay, maybeso.
“Hr’rmm, I see that Khabrovsk Krai have finallymade it back up to third place, hwhere they started: Any of you think that they stand a credible chance of getting through, now?”

“Hwell, we beat them pretty nicely hwhen they came to play here, but maybeso hwhen we go to play there instead this year they just might be able to hold us to a draw…. And then if they could possibly manage to beat Valladares… Ur’rmm.
“I’ll say that maybeso they might just get to second place in the group and thus have a chance at getting into the Cup proper through the play-offs, instead of Valladares having that opportunity, but that I don’t think they’ll manage to out-do us as hwell and top the group…”

“Care to put some money on them making second place?”

“Hr’rmm… Hwhat odds are you offering?”

“Ur’rmm…
“Maybeso…
“Ayyuh, I’ll say one-to-six: Interested?”

“Hokay, I’ll stake four thalers on it at those odds.”

“Done!”

“And she probably has been ‘done’, too…”

“So you don’t want to wager anything on the situation yourself?”

“If I do place any bets then it will be with my regular boardie, hrrather than with team-mates: Win or lose, I think that betting for serious cash against people hwhom one has to work with is probably a bad idea.”
(OOC: The term ‘boardie’ is a colloquial shortening of ‘Board-carver’, just as ‘bookie’ is of ‘Bookmaker’…)

“Hr’rmm.
“Hwell, that first bet has already been made and accepted, so it’s too late to cancel it now, but maybeso you’re hrright. Hokay, I won’t wager any more about this contest with other members of the team.”

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

(Meanwhile, on the Spirit Plane...)

"You're telling me that Raven said hwhat?!?"

"That he discovered the existence of an entire 'nation' of undead Ursines, while he was on his recent travels -- hwhatever those were about, hwhich he still isn't telling -- through the assorted Realities and Unrealities."

"Urrgah!"

by **Dorian and Sonya** » Fri Feb 03, 2012 1:04 pm

A Few Important D&S Definitions

Mystical - (Mistik’l) adj
1. With Divine Meaning. Having a Devine meaning that is beyond human understanding.
2. With supernatural significance. Having supernatural or spiritual meaning or power.
3. Mysterious. Difficult to understand.

Unicorn - (Yooni - Korn) noun
1. Alleged Mythical one-horned, horse-like creature usually depicted as a white horse with a spiraled horn protruding from forehead.
2. Biblical one-horned creature now believed to be a rhinoceros or aurochs

Sylvanae - (Sil-van-ay) Noun
1. A sub-race of Elf of islander heritage. Native only to the Sylvanaes Queendom.
2. One of two major Elven peoples on Atlantian Oceania, the other being from Valanora

Magic - (Majik) noun
1. Conjuring tricks and illusions that make apparently impossible things seem to happen
2. Supernatural power giving one control over the forces of nature

Sorceress - (Soar-sir-ess) noun
1. Witch. Woman claiming to have magical powers.

Krytie - (Cry-tee)
1. Native of the nation of Krytenia
2. Atlantian Oceania deserter most widely known for garish shirts that could be considered harmful to the retina of humans and Elves.
3. Possibly responsible for increase in sales of Rushmori sunglasses and blinders.

World Cup 58 RP Thread

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