I World Games—roleplaying thread

[Euskirribakondara]

OOC: On final exams yesterday, so I couldn't make the RP. Here's the program for Day 2, as Day 2 was more interesting for EUS than Day 3.

Monko-Xokareak Tantxa
The program to be broadcasted throughout the I World Games
With Ulía Nestegarridia and Armán Vonok

The Nuka Davitalyan's poster is now framed. Blue ribbons, confetti, Euskal flags, party balloons, and a lot of signs in Euskal supporting the Euskirribakondarian team. Golden ribbons are here too.

ARMÁN = We're the best nation in the World Games! We have 12 medals!
ULÍA = The goal of the EOC is 20 medals, and at least 10 golds.
ARMÁN = This goal every day seems closer to be achieved.
ULÍA = We have now 7 golds, 3 silvers and 3 bronzes!
ARMÁN = We went from 4 to 12 in just one day: 8 MEDALS
ULÍA = Eight, a MAGIC number. WOW!
ARMÁN = On Baseball we won 1-0 over Ad'ihan. On Women's Gaelic Football didn't play.
ULÍA = But look at this.... Nuka Davitalyan participated on Men's hoop and Men's rope.



ARMÁN = And on both, he won GOLD!
ULÍA = And Bubu Nidimania won two silvers, on Women's Ball and Women's ribbons.
ARMÁN = On Korfball, we were defeated by Cyborg Holland by a close margin, 13-14.
ULÍA = Ando roller speed skating.... that's our strength here!
ARMÁN = On Men’s 1000 m sprint, Haur Lesmes, with a time of 1:29.889. And it was a GOLD!
ULÍA = On Men’s 15000 m elimination, Haur Lesmes, with a time of 24:36.276. And it was a BRONZE! Just some miliseconds behind the silver: 24:34.260. Mikel Sastarí wrote the "Olympic History".... 4th again.
ARMÁN = On Women’s 1000 m sprint Alía Baena and Balentina Txabes came in 4th and 5th. And, Xon Gorodoroan made the GOLD!
ULÍA = And I won 63 U$D again.... as we almost made the podium in Women’s 15000 m elimination.
ARMÁN = Damn it!... But yes, that's true.. 26:05.720 was the time of Xon Gorodoroan, GOLD! And 26:09.699 was the time of Alía Baena, SILVER!
ULÍA = Now, talking about tug of war, we were eliminated in the event of today. As well as Monlyuxeburga.
ARMÁN = And on Babbage rules football—Mixed, we didn't play.
ULÍA = But apart from that, this is a memorable day. In fact, 26th October will be celebrated always in Euskirribakondara as the "SPORTS DAY".
ARMÁN = Here's today's scoreboard (with just the medal-winning nations), organized (with country names in Euskal):

POS       COUNTRY            G  S  B      T
1° Euskirribakondara         7  3  3     12
2° Kafundéu                  3  4  2      9
3° Xoferzia                  1  3  1      5
4° Ziborg Nederlanda         1  1  3      5
5° Jasijun                   1  1  2      4
5° SLANI Kapitaloa           1  1  2      4
7° Akademikren Asosiatoa     1  0  0      1
7° Laiventxa                 1  0  0      1
7° Frranseren Asosiatoa      1  0  0      1
10° Kraitinia                0  2  1      3
11° Darmen                   0  1  0      1
11° Zuangzug                 0  1  0      1
13° Limanteixa               0  0  2      2
14° Lontorika                0  0  1      1

ULÍA = See it? Even by total medals, we're winning again!
ARMÁN = Ok. For tomorrow, don't get your expectations high... 'cause tomorrow may not be a medal-winning day.
ULÍA = But maybe ... Bye, and see you tomorrow!

(EUSK1 goes back to normal schedule)

[Shofercia]

Shawnda Burki was ready for her race. She was focused. Today was going to be her day. Somehow, she knew it. Shawnda came a long way to be here, at the World Games. Part of her remembered when she was a little girl, in a poor, brutally oppressed country...

The men came. They always came. To take the kids, to be raped, or worse, to be gangpressed into the army of the "Vicious One". Everyone was to worship him. She remembered the raid on her village, running scared as the men came. Yet this time, something was different. Shawnda felt it, but she didn't know at the time.

The "Vicious One" was running a sex-slave trade, which will into Shofercia's sphere of influence. Although all soft on the outside, the Shofercians knew how to fight. Their commander cadre, drawn from the special forces, was second to none. Wipe out a corrupt dictator, end the sex-slave trade, provide experience to the younger SSF units - it made sense to the Shofercians, to order a unified counterattack against the "Vicious One". It was during the counterattack that Shawnda's village was hit by "thugs of the Vicious One".

"Let them attack-"
"Sir, they'll wound the villagers"
"And they'll wound even more if we don't let the initial wave pass."
"Yes Sir!"
"Remain in your positions!"

Shawnda just ran. She didn't see the guns pointed at her from the bushes. Thugs of the "Vicious One" opened fire, behind Shawnda.

"Blin Sergei, cover me, I refuse to watch a child die!"
"Alright, I know the commander would've done the same-"
"FIRE!"
"Always on time Larry" Sergei replied. Just as Shawnda was running past the bushes where Sergei, Larry and Vova were hiding, Larry jumped on top of her, knocked her down, and rolled to safety, protecting Shawnda with his body, as Sergei and Vova provided the covering fire.
"Looks like you turned a new page in her life's book, Larry" chuckled Vova.
"Shut up and fire" commanded Sergei.
Thugs of the "Vicious One" just got introduced to holes in key areas of their bodies.

Shawnda was stunned. She saw men, with guns, in uniform, protecting her! This was new.
"Who are you?"
"Shofercians" they replied.
"Shofercia" she thought. Shawnda liked the name.

"You're not here to kill me?" she asked.
"Nah, we don't kill unarmed kids, nor do we rape them. We protect them. We're Shofercians. But can you please stay here and be quiet? We have some unfinished business."
Shawnda hid in the reliable bushes.

Meanwhile the Shofercians routed the thugs in the village. "In the name of King Ilya Murometz, I claim this village as temporary property of the Constitutional Monarchy of Shofercia, until the village elders can decide what they wish to do!" stated the commander. The villagers came out of their huts, clearly shaken.

Sergei, Larry and Vova ran to the reliable bushes.
"Are you ok?" Larry asked.
"Yes, thank you, so what happens now?"
"Well that's upto the village elder. Here, let me carry you home!"
On her way home, Shawnda heard the Shofercian National Anthem for the first time. It was beautiful!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrFKDXuQYh0

That was fifteen years ago. Today Shawnda put on her skates, and was warming up. The first round of the Roller Speed Skating Women’s 500 meter Sprint was coming up. This was her event. She grimaced as she saw her fellow teammater, Dahlia Hamalak, lose the race. She was up. She knew what to do. The start was the key. Shawnda pushed off with her hips, skillfully applying the force through her leg muscles to the blades of the skates. One-two, one-two, one-two, keeping the rhythm going. She could feel the warm breath of her opponents, behind her. She told herself not to speed up, to save the strength until the final 100 meters. Pacing was crucial. She glimpsed at the audience, looking for her coach's signal. She saw it, and off she went. VICTORY!

Nothing to cheer about, just yet. She needed to get ready for her next run. Watching her other two teammates lose, only added to Shawnda's resolve. It was her turn. Again she had a great start, kept the pace, and accelerated correctly. Again she won. VICTORY. And now she was in the semi-finals. Two victories away from a medal.

"Great job Shawnda, keep it up!" her coach told her. Shawnda nodded, concentrating on the moment. She looked up at the audience and saw a sign. Blin, Shawnda, you turned a new page! "Nice, they're here!" Shawnda thought. She dismissed the memories. It was time to focus on the competition. Only one memory slipped through:

"What can I do to repay you?" Shawnda asked the trio, as she boarded the ship bound for a safer island in Shofercia.
"Oh, just make our anthem played in front of a million people" the trio answered, half-jokingly. Shawnda had a new calling in life.

And she was off. No longer skating, Shawnda was flying. The Shofercians in the crowd were cheering. The trio were going crazy. "46.976 seconds!" stated the official. "Nice! First run under 47 seconds! World record!" Shawnda smiled sweetly, and waived to the trio. They saluted.

"What are you doing?!" stated her coach. "You're supposed to be saving the energy for this round! Hopefully you have enough left, give it your all girl!"

Shawnda nodded. She was running on pure adrenaline. The start, the one-two, one-two, one-two rhythm. She had it going. But Alia Baena was beating her, by a split second. One-hundred meters left. A new feeling kicking in. It was something that can be called "beyond adrenaline". Shawnda pushed off and dove past the finish line, beating Alia by a split second. The crowd went crazy as Shawnda struggled to keep her balance and fell. But didn't get hurt too badly, only scratches and bruises, well worth the gold medal. The trio came running down the steps.

"Molodetz!" stated the coach.

Molodetz is a Russian word, that can mean "great job" but can also mean "you're a true warrior"

The trio and Shawnda embraced each other in hugs, as they led Shawnda to the first place ceremony!

The Shofercian National Anthem Played: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrFKDXuQYh0

"Hey Shawnda, wanna go watch Tug of War with us?"
"Coach, can I? Please?"
"Sure!"
"Yippee!" Shawnda felt like a kid again. Except this time, the memories were full of joy.

"Pull! Pull! Pull!" Shawnda tried to keep up with the trio in their chant. It was tough. Yet she managed. The Men's Team was in the finals, about to destroy Jasĭyun. "Pull! Pull! Davite rebyata blin, turn a new page!"

And the National Anthem of Shofercia played again: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrFKDXuQYh0

"Shawnda, you made us proud" stated Larry.
"Yeah, well done. You gotta teach us those blading moves!" Vova added
"Sure, but you have to show me those moves that you used to save me, when I was a little girl!"
"It's a deal!" Sergei concluded, and the quartet embraced in a tearful, joyous hug, as the crowd cheered Team Shofercia all around them.

[Commerce Heights]

Day 4 results are now up.

[Homelands our]

Finals in the presisions throws good chance close but no cigar elsewhere



Boule lyonnaise—Men’s precision throw (Boules Sports Arena)
Preliminary round
1 Ferris Bouler (SHO) 28 Q
2 Milo Prost (SCY) 20 Q
3 David fay (HLO) 19 *
Julius Howard (LYM) 19 *
Tim Walner (CYB) 19 *
6 Pierre du Droit (LEN) 15
7 Marcus Yust (ZWZ) 11
8 Francisco Anysio Alencar (CAF) 9
9 Estuardo Dolbomirankoada (EUS) 5
Jozef Nørgaard (COM) 5
11 Jacques Dudel (KYP) 4


Tiebreaking match
3 David fay (HLO) 22 Q
4 Tim Walner (CYB) 9 Q
5 Julius Howard (LYM) 4


Top four qualify for final (Q)
Tiebreakers for fourth place: tiebreaking match, sudden-death tiebreaking match

Boule lyonnaise—Women’s precision throw (Boules Sports Arena)
Preliminary round
1 Elizabete Bragança (CAF) 25 Q
Lucy Xenova (SHO) 25 Q
3 hanna Fu (HLO) 19 Q
4 Cira Selbekantxea (EUS) 18 Q
5 Wendy Pishnodrip (ZWZ) 16
6 Malène Gauche (LEN) 13
7 Jason Thann (CYB) 10
8 Ramona Gabor (JSY) 9
9 Stephanie St John (LYM) 6
10 Mimi Métisse (SCY) 4


(HLO) is homelands our in the tables above we will talk about the men first.
Men

As you can see David fay had to come through a play off match with tim walner and julius Howard after tying on 19 points but fay came 1st in the playoff with 22 points.
In the first round (one that put them in a playoff) ferris bouler of (SHO) ran away with it finishing off with an impressive 28 points all of our pundits tip him for the gold tomorrow.
With a 75% hope of winning a medal David fay had this to say "I should win a medal in the playoff I got 22 points that would have put me second in the main round;but knowing my luck I will probably end up 4th and out of the medals".


Women

Unlike David fay hanna fu's match had no tiebreking match and she came 3rd. 19 points was the total for Fu just six off the 25 scored by joint winners of the semi/final Lucy xenova and elizabete bragança. With the women's final also having 4 players hanna has a 75% chance of a medal 25% of gold. Hanna spoke to us this morning " I will win a medal or will I just look at the results i was 3 points away from elimination and 4th place was only 1 point behind me"
Hanna also gave her explanation on way we have not won any medals yet " we have just been jet lagged from that day in ceator I think we should have left earlier but then again that's the roller speed skaters problem"

[Miley World]

New York Times

Miley World won another medal at the 1 world game!

By Bobby Miller

Miley World won another medal at the 1 world games, it was in some acrobatic gymnastic. Well I don't really now what happened in that sport cuz I fell asleep and when I woke up everyone were gone so I couldn't interview our Smiler athletes and by the way their names are Ashley Jackson and Briahna Stewart. Abnd then I arrived just in time at the bowling arena to watch Olli Kapanen, an Helsinki native, and Rose Sanchez, a Dallas native, playing some bowling. And, well, I think they did pretty well, they finished 4th so I think that's pretty good. I've interviewed them:

"Well I'm pretty happy with our performance, we gave everything we can." - Rose Sanchez

"Yeah what Rose said. I admit I'm disappointed we didn't win a medal, but when we fink about it, a 4th place is pretty good I fink" - Olli Kapanen

Well tomorrow we're gonna have some american football woop woop! And also some bowling again, some rugby union and some warterskiing. I think we have a chance of medals in them all except Rugby which we aren't that good.

And by the way Miley World has two medals now, it's one more than Zwangzug has!

[Cahrphya]

Chief japa-ui looked out from his window. As head of the cahrphya delegation, he was responsible for looking out for his athletes. But how could he do that? The opening ceremony, praying to the great spirit, he had understood. Everything else was foreign. Today, two of the Gymnasts had won a great victory for cahrphya. But were they given a holy stone or a bamboo crown? No. A small thing called a medal. And the competitors played with clothes on, and no war paint. They competed not to honor the gods or their tribes, but for this stuff called money. The language was strange, and impossible to understand. The people, the culture, were unlike anything he could conjure up in his head. The world was not cahrphya.

[Zwangzug]

Hive Alive!--the lacrosse roundup

Apparently the Kytler Peninsulae are an up-and-coming force in international lacrosse, site of the next world lacrosse tournament or something? And have been making an effort to support I don't even know what, just returning players coming back to give their teammates a boost or something. Any rate, bet they wish that went into effect sooner rather than later as...never mind, the women's team is new. Hi! Anyway I'm Rose Amadduck, who apparently gets to write about the games. Cool enough!

Ours was one of the closer matches today, relatively low-scoring compared to some of the men's games (Zwangzug's next opponents gave up fifteen last time, that has to be a good sign!) But hey. The score was 5-4 us at halftime, and Lissie Rustrides led the way with three goals up front.

Kate Maudree, the goalie, says hi and assures us that she--what? You type it. Hi, this is Kate, I'm one of those weird Belpub people, weird as in being from Belpub, not a weird person who also happens to come from Belpub. For the benefit of my Omega Conference friends fans who think this is just a funny version of field hockey, let me reassure you, the most short passes-per-minute "we" pulled off was there in the...thirty-seventh, I think. Watch the replays and let me know what you think!

Riiight. In other news, Zwangzug are established as a good benchmark of comparison due to being a historic sporting force, or playing Miley World in the ongoing WBC, or...just...being last in the list.

[Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuk]

One Medal

Disappointingly, ABK has only won one medal, a bronze in Women's Tug-of-War. Many think that this number will improve as team sports finish up, but we have yet to see. ABK is in the semifinals for korfball, where they face The Babbage Islands today, after beating Megadia 17-7. The Men's Lacrosse team is 1-0, after beating Lymantatia 14-13 in OT. Cal Fitch scored 4 goals, Steven McKinley added 3, and Julius Kellogg scored 2, including the game winner. ABK is currently second in Group C of Men's American football, after defeating Jasiyun, but losing to Darmen. This is your short update from Aeropag.

[Euskirribakondara]

OOC: This is program for day 4. (Let's skip Day 3 )

Monko-Xokareak Tantxa
The program to be broadcasted throughout the I World Games
With Ulía Nestegarridia and Armán Vonok

Ulía has her hair very messed up; her make-up too... You can notice she passed the night partying. Armando, strangely, is normal. Nuka Davitalyan's poster has at its side a poster of the Speed Skating team now.

ARMÁN = Yesterday we didn't win a medal.... But we have 14 so far, and we have the 1st position on the table. Who cares about one medal less?
ULÍA = Well, anyway, there was Olympic history today too.
ARMÁN = We were 4th in the qualifying round, and 4th in the final of mixed pairs, acrobatic gymnastics. On women's pairs, acrobatic gymnastics we were 9 out of 10 in the qualifying round.
ULÍA = On trampoline, we came 5th in the final.
ARMÁN = Ya see? We could have had medals.
ULÍA = But yesterday too, there were events of Boule Lyonnaise. Estuardo Dolbomirankoada participated in men's precision throw and didn't qualify. On men's progressive throw, he'll go to bronze medal match.



ARMÁN = Cira Selbekantxea qualified for the final of Women's precision throw.
ULÍA = On Bowling we were last out of 14. But anyway.
ARMÁN = Now, on team sports, our women won over The Kytler Peninsulae in American football. We're on top of the group.
ULÍA = And also our women won in Australian football against Lymantatia.
ARMÁN = On our Baseball group D, we didn't play, and still, we're on top of the group table.
ULÍA = And on women's gaelic football we were defeated by Lontorika... so, we won't advance.
ARMÁN = On Lacrosse we didn't play.
ULÍA = And on Babbage rules football we won over Paripana! 36-15.
ARMÁN = And those fans are too decent... they didn't hit us in the face when we won... like others....
ULÍA = On Camogie's quarterfinals we were defeated by Paripana, so it's all EVEN.
ARMÁN = But we have to win over Sorthern Northland then. They won over us in Hurling, in the quarterfinals too!
ULÍA = And that's all for yesterday. Let's take a look at the medal tally, with 19 nations now:

POS       COUNTRY            G  S  B      T
1° Euskirribakondara         7  4  3     14
2° Kafundéu                  5  5  3     13
3° Xoferzia                  3  5  2     10
4° SLANI Kapitaloa           2  1  3      6
5° Laiventxa                 2  0  0      2
6° Ziborg Nederlanda         1  2  3      6
7° Jasijun                   1  2  2      5
8° Maili Mondoa              1  0  2      3
8° Megadia                   1  0  2      3
10° Kaherfia                 1  0  0      1
10° Akademikren Asosiatoa    1  0  0      1
10° Frranseren Asosiatoa     1  0  0      1
13° Kraitinia                0  2  1      3
14° Darmen                   0  1  1      2
15° Zuangzug                 0  1  0      1
15° Ceixos                   0  1  0      1
17° Limanteixa               0  0  2      2
18° Eibisidi*                0  0  1      1
18° Lontorika                0  0  1      1

*Eibisidiefjieitxaijeikeielemenoupikiuarestiukei

ULÍA = Afterwards, it's the show for today, before the results.
ARMÁN = Take care everyone, bye!

(EUSK1 goes back to normal schedule)

[Commerce Heights]

Day 5 results are now up.

[Homelands our]

Medals come to homelands our

Boule lyonnaise—Women’s precision throw (Boules Sports Arena)
Final
1 Elizabete Bragança (CAF) 17
2 Lucy Xenova (SHO) 15
3 hanna Fu (HLO) 11 *
Cira Selbekantxea (EUS) 11 *


Tiebreaking match
3 hanna Fu (HLO) 10
4 Cira Selbekantxea (EUS) 7

As you can see from the above hanna fu won a bronze medal today after overcoming a playoff with Cira selbekantxea (EUS). " I feel wonderful I slipped up today but still came 3rd"
" luck well I'm usually got bad luck but today I got lucky "
" today is the day that homelands our makes it's Mark on the world stage the world should stand up and take notice that this is the birth of a new sporting nation "
David fay comes 4th

Unfortunately David fay could not make it a weekend double for homelands our.
" sadly someone had to come the worst position of all and that person was me"
" I had a bad day at the office only 9 points I done better than that yesterday but hopefully with more training I can come back at the second world games and get that medal that homelands our should have"
What to look out for tomorrow

Well we have got some more action out on the water and some other stuff too.

[Miley World]

New York Times

Smilers are doing good

By Bobby Miller

Well unfortunatly we lost the american football game 26-0 and I'm pretty disappointed cuz I love football, so well here's the game summary:

1st quarter
(BOS): 18 yards pass with 3:27 remaining (extra point is good) (7-0)

2nd quarter
(BOS): 39 yards field goal with 10:28 remaining (10-0)
(BOS): 3 yards run with 4:51 remaining (extra point is good) (17-0)

3rd quarter
no score

4th quarter
(BOS): Safety (Nick Walker sacked in the endzone) with 7:29 remaining (19-0)
(BOS): 17 yards run with 1:36 remaining (extra point is good) (26-0)

Final score Bostopia 26 Miley World 0

Well we also had some bowling and a Smiler girl is qualified for the next round and we had some warter skiing and warter skiing is pretty fun I think and Smilers did pretty good we have a couple of Smilers who are qualified for the next rounds. I didn't interviewed anyone today but I'll interview a few Smiler atheltes either tomorrow or monday.

[Zwangzug]

Misadventures in scorekeeping

• After a slow start, Penelope Quano finally gets a strike on the tenth frame and does the whole extra-shot thing. A few spectators take a minute to remember how that whole thing works, and if their mutterings had been any less of a whisper Quano would probably have been relatively agitated about them throwing off her groove; as it is, she only gets two pins on the last shot anyway, so they probably couldn't have made it much worse.
  
• Michael Lanzadwian questions utility of rescaling out of a thousand in the water skiing. Joel Faun-Geras points out merit in comparing performances across events with different scales. Lanzadwian questions utility of having different scales. Ramona Leatsges points out that people who get eliminated in the first round probably don't get it, anyway. Lanzadwian points out that he's still competing the next day.
  
• Elsa Kreld notes that Cafundéu and Darmen's Australian football teams seem to have won by scoring in the exact same ways. Unable to tell how big a deal that is (do the first two numbers follow in some way from what she believes to be the "points scored"?), she seeks out answers, an attempt which only ends in disappointment as barely anyone outside Zwangzug's delegation can make sense of her dialect and barely anyone inside it can make sense of Australian football.
  
• The Zebras break out for four runs in the fifth inning of their game against Cyborg Holland. They leave the maximum, and batting around just winds up messing up everybody's scorecard.
  
• The men's version of the Hive loses to Thatius in a result that nevertheless eliminates the latter. After a while ("okay, wait, if we win, we're all tied on record so."/"if we win by less than seven, Shofercia still have a positive difference so they go through"/"so we need to win by more than seven"/"what about seven exactly"?) sense is finally made of this; by this time, Kate Maudree has come up with a pun or two on "men's version of the Hive," none of which appear likely to make it into Rose's commentary.
  
• After an RSCI elimination, Gabriel Ingmard halfheartedly attempts to review his chess game, a process not aided by Mira Dukard-Geing irritatedly leaning over his shoulder and asking if he can really make sense out of that thing. Jessalie Matsu's digressions on how technically it's not actually his thing, because it's blitz, isn't it? and if you have that few minutes left you get someone else to do it shockingly fails to help matters at all.
  
• In the closest thing so far to a cool day, the Abominable Snowmen have a bye. A few vaguely nerdy puns are made at the first result in group A, a few Abominable Snowmen juvenilely titter at the second, Ingmard begins something to the effect of "hey, we've scored thirty-two and have still been outscored by sixteen," but is unable to finish the sentence due to Dukard-Geing thwapping him with his scorecard.

[Shofercia]

"A very interesting day at the First World Games today for Team Shofercia."
"Shouldn't you tell the listeners who are tuning in, what they're listening?"
"Oh yeah, this is Shofercia's Olympic Banter Radio. SOBR. Reminding you to only get behind the wheel when you are sober. Can I get back to the results?"
"Sure thing!"
"In American Football, Shofercia defeated Thatius, as Miley World got blitzed by Bostopia. One more victory and our boys are in the playoffs!"
"And we clinched the playoff spot in Australian Football with a win over Megadia - Go Eagles!"
"In Boule Lyonnaise, men’s precision throw, Ferris Bouler, the Captain of Team Shofercia nabbed first place! And our amazing anthem was played for the crowds of Aeropag!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrFKDXuQYh0

"That is a beautiful anthem. The very best!"
"We do have an awesome anthem!"
"Meanwhile in Boule Lyonnaise, women’s precision throw Lucy Xenova lost in the finals to Elizabete Bragança of Cafundéu"
"And that sucks, because Cafundéu is currently leading the Medal Poll"
"Ay caramba!"
"And unfortunately the same story repeated itself in the Progessive Throw!"
"Cafundéu - Khaaaaan!"
"In Chess Boxing, Shah Matov made it to the second round, going up against, you guessed it - Cafundéu's Vladmir “Vladão” Novaes"
"Ay caramba!"
"In Acrobatic Gymnastics - our gorgeous girls, Mayova, Darova and April, defeated the team from Cafundéu! Go Eagles, show 'em how it's done!"
"Are these games just between Shofercia and Cafundéu?"
"It certainly looks like it Lizzie"
"Thanks Max, and now let's tune into our anthem, which we play everytime a Shofercian captures the Gold Medal!"
"Go Eagles!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrFKDXuQYh0

"In Korfball, the Shofercian Eagles made it to the Gold Medal Game, and will face off against Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuk"
"Wow, let's hope they know their ABC's Max!"
"Indeed"
"What is it with the Shofercian men saying the word "indeed" lately?"
"No idea Lizzie, why do you ask?"
"Well, it's just weird. "Thanks for buying me a drink" and then the guy says "indeed" - what the heck?"
"I guess Teal'C wasn't a ladies' man"
"You mean Jaffa. And his wife's smart, hot, and has a great personality-"
"Well he was the first prime..."
"Ouch! What have you done to my brain?!"
"In Rugby Union, Team Shofercia went 2-1-0, and will face the Babbage Islands, where the winner will join the round of eight!"
"Go Eagles! Woooo!"
"And in the Medal Count - Team Shofercia is in third place, two Gold Medals behind Euskirribakondara, and four Gold Medals behind - everyone together now - Cafundéu!"

"Let's take a look at tomorrow's schedule Max!"
"Our women's American Football Team will have a tough game against Capitalizt SLANI"
"Ebul Capitalizts!"
"Our women's Footsy Team will play against Lontorika for the privilege of participating in the Gold Medal Game!"
"Go Eagles!"
"Don't skip the first round of Women's Chess Boxing!"
"Go Eagles!"
"Indeed!"
"Ohhh geez, Max, not cool!"
"We also have Gaelic Football and Gymnastics, and the Gold Medal Game against Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuk in Korfball!"
"And Artistic Roller Skating is finally starting!"
"And we will close out the day with Rugby Sevens, Watersports, and Corona, which is miles away from the ordinary, at an ordinary beach"
"Max, Max, Max. To a girl, a beach is never ordinary!"
"Lizzie, want to go out?"
"Sure, just let me ok it with my boyfriend first. I'm kidding!"
"Indeed"

[Homelands our]

players night out


6:00pm the events are finished for homelands our anyway and the players are having their night out.
6:15pm with all the players arrived they start picking their choices off a large menu.
6:45pm starters all served up and the players enjoy a taster good food.
7:15pm with the mains now on the table (for those who did not take the buffet) a few took the Halloween special.
8:30pm some players just finishing mains
9:00pm Pudding time
9:30pm in the bar some players are starting to show their moves on the dance area
11:00pm team curfew is 11:30pm so the players start heading on back to the hotel

[Cyborg Holland]

players night out


6:00pm the events are finished for homelands our anyway and the players are having their night out.
6:15pm with all the players arrived they start picking their choices off a large menu.
6:45pm starters all served up and the players enjoy a taster good food.
7:15pm with the mains now on the table (for those who did not take the buffet) a few took the Halloween special.
8:30pm some players just finishing mains
9:00pm Pudding time
9:30pm in the bar some players are starting to show their moves on the dance area
11:00pm team curfew is 11:30pm so the players start heading on back to the hotel

Pfft.. Call that a night out, here's an account of Cyborg Holland's athletes having a night out

Oliver Koznov's night out after his Gold in Gymnastics

6:00pm: Finish celebrating and talking to press
7:00pm: Get changed into Civies in room
8:00pm: Get to Restaurant in downtown Aeropag with other athletes
8:10pm: Order several bottles of wine and whisky
9:30pm: What???
9:30pm-1:20am: Blackout
1:20am: Wake up in sleazy motel bedroom, you smell of cheap perfume and booze
1:30-2:50am: Stumble back to Hotel
3:20am: Fall asleep
12:10pm: Wake up with mother of all hangovers, drink several cocktails

8:00pm: Here we go again...

[Commerce Heights]

Day 6 results are now up.

[Zwangzug]

ABOMINABLE SNOWMEN REPORT--MATCHDAY 1 (honestly, the women don't appear to care)

HOW THEY SCORED:

Second quarter, 7:09 remaining: Sardix pass to McEliss in endzone, kick by Kremavar-Marger successful
Third quarter, 10:18 remaining: Olofsdotter run, kick by Kremavar-Marger successful

HOW THE OTHER THEY SCORED:

First quarter, 4:59 remaining: pass and run, kick failed
Second quarter, 2:01 remaining: pass into endzone, kick successful
Third quarter: 3:25 remaining: run, kick successful

WEATHER: Windy; also, hot.

SUBJECTIVE LIKELIHOOD OF ELIMINATION BEFORE POSSIBILITY OF EXPULSION FROM OLYMPIC TOWER: 92.3% (the unified team is mostly men, hence more new people on this team)

Hive Alive!--the lacrosse roundup

Well, that was fast. We're through! And the only team to be so, so far. Sounds good.

It's definitely a wide-open field here, although I checked again and it looks like a few people might have Olympic experience even if they haven't been in the lacrosse-specific tournaments. It's only an invitational [sic] event there though.

I did score today, if you weren't watching, Janice Sheitero-Brald leading the way as well. Rose had an excellent game, although she just has a bunch of dumb puns that don't make any sense. Out of curiosity, is that what you call us Spenson people behind our backs?

No, and for those of you out there who know who you are, eighteenth minute today.

What. Oookay never mind. Two more wins are all we need, and spirits seem very high around here. Although that could be because we're a hundred-some floors up in a tower.

So you mean it takes the World Games to raise a village?

That...huh?

*

"Shut up, Jessalie, I'm not complaining! I'm just saying--"

"Oh, "I'm not complaining." This was the same person who freaked out when she saw Tegan Nash was in the draw--"

"I've actually...heard of...her. Okay?"

"Yeah, because she used to be a football player, but--"

"Oh come on, she has a little more class than--"

"Soccer, whatever. I'm just saying, that name looks a little intimidating, is all. Under the circumstances."

[Shofercia]

"Today was a fun day for us. We picked up a few medals-"
"Dude, did you know that our Korfball Team is throwing a victory party? They won the Gold Medal! We're number one in Korfball!"
"What's Korfball?"
"A sport, Dutch in origin, it helps you stay fit. Was introduced in some of our schools for that purpose"
"Nice! Wait, Dutch? I remebered seeing Ollie Koznov blacked out"
"Ollie's Dutch?"
"He could have some Dutch in him. He sure knows how to partay!"
"Yeah, he totally does. Did you see "Night Out" schedule for Homeland Ours?"
"In Shofercia - we call that procedure - dinner. Do it every Friday and Saturday. Of course after dinner, there is partaying!"
"You guys are in Aeropag. You're in another city. Don't you want to check out the museums? Theme parks? Attractions? Concerts? Landmarks? All you've been doing is partaaying, cheering for the Eagles, and partaaying some more!"
"Dudette, that ain't true. We definitely cheer more than partay!"
"Yeah, but it's a new country - don't you guys want to go exploring?"
"We can do that after the World Games. The Games only last two weeks. We have a month off"
"Oh, so you'll at least see some of the landmarks?"
"Of course girl, we're tourists, how can we miss Aeropag's National Museum of Marine History"
"They have one?"
"If they don't, they should. The city's location's just asking for one"
"Makes sense. Anyways, which pub are we hitting next?"
"Let's see if we can find out Korfball champions!"
"Did you hear our National Anthem played?"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrFKDXuQYh0

"Did you see our chicks kick Capitalizt butt at American Football?"
"Yeah. Did you guys here the girl who was shouting "Go Commies Go?"
"That was you?"
"Yeah. I was fan-trolling"
"Sandra - you just want to get into a fight, don't ya?"
"Oh that's bullocks. Sandra's peaceful!"
"Hey, at least our girl's field goal was wonderful. One minute remaining, and BAM!"
"Yeah, our chicks kick ass! Yo bartender. More beer! More booze!"
"Just wondering, what country are you ladies from?"
"Shofercia. And tonight we're chicks."
"You know the Shofercian Korfball Team is hosting a crazy party, right?"
"Damn! Let's go girls, thanks bartender!"
"Daaaamn! Thank you ladies for the tip."
"We're chicks!"

"This is wonderful. Great atmosphere, very nice and precise host, and we just won the finals by two points"
"So now we have a new mission: rest, recover, and go to the party hosted by our Korfball Team!"
"What did they do?"
"Rent a warehouse, stock it with as much booze as they could get their hands on, Aeropag's best DJ..."
"I'm still in shock. They played the Shofercian Anthem because of our victory. Isn't that awesome? I love that song!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrFKDXuQYh0

"Yeah, it totally is. If you live life to the fullest, every day is a bit like Victory Day!"
"Damn straight! So what time is everyone heading out? And should we pre-party?"
"Nah. They'll have plenty of booze. Wait - who's paying for the party?"
"Erm, I think it's our ministry of education. And they don't know it yet."
"Ohhh, I'm so there. I always wanted my teacher to buy me booze!"
"How does that work?"
"Well, teachers pay taxes to the government, part of these go to the ministry of education, then to our Korfball Team, which is buying us, and all other partiers, free booze!"
"I love that logic!"
"Men!" stated the coach. The players stood up.
"Damn fine game! You deserved the Gold Medal. Best game I've seen you play! Well done! Now, rest up, and don't embarass us at the party! Leave that to our Korfball Team!"
"Sir, yes sir!"
"That's my boys!"

"Dude, have you seen the Medal Table?"
"Yeah Dudette. We're trailing Cafundéu by five Gold Medals. Not a bad result. Cafundéu has much more experience in International Sports than we do."
"That's true. But I think we can kick their butt!"
"We'll see. It's been close so far, and it's fun to watch!"
"You know what'd be really fun?"
"The Korfball Team's Party? Let's go!
"Yeeehaaaa!"


(The Next Day)

"Welcome to Shofercia's Central News Channel, SCNC. Today's top story: the Ministry of Education is allegedly furious at Shofercia's Korfball Team! Despite winning the Gold Medal, it appears that the Korfball Team threw a wild party, and charged the tab to the Ministry of Education, claiming that partying benefits education. The Ministry of Education had this to say"

"Although none of us can keep a straight face while reading the Korfball Team Captain's Zoe Spicer's, (laughter) justification, it remains absolutely despicable. More so than Daffy Duck! Have a look"

"The Korfball Team wishes to express our most sincere gratitude to the Education Ministry of the Constitutional Monarchy of Shofercia, for realizing the value of partying. Education accounts for a third of Shofercia's Gross Domestic Product, and it should stay that way - Education makes us who we are. But the concept of partying is vastly underfunded. The education budget never spent more than five percent on partying expenses. And yet - most college students party. And college students know what's good for them - otherwise, why are they in college? A student who parties is likely to be more relaxed in class, and thus better able to absorb the material about wars, corruption and famine, and a bunch of other evil stuff. How else are we supposed to study economics and accounting? Partying lets us blow off steam. And it makes use want to work out, because those who don't work out, actually suffer more from partying than those who do. So..."

"We will refrain from reading the rest of this justification. The Korfball Team acted like a bunch of little kids!"

"Ohh, ouch! The Ministry of Education isn't happy. Wait what? Sorry, I just got a news that the Leader of Shofercia, King Ilya Murometz, tweeted a response, and it says: Looks like the Ministry of Education just got punk'd by the Korfball Team. That's our King ladies and gentlemen, and that's why we love King Ilya Murometz. Another incoming tweet: wow, I just made the news. Will they read all my tweets? We will try. No, definitely not reading that one. Oh crap, I'm still live, aren't I? Did I say that outloud?"

[Cahrphya]

Chief japa-ui was baffled. He had been watching some of his athletes playing rugged or rugby or something. He didnt know. This Aierropag place was so confusing. The rugged was just a bunch of guys running in a line, tossing an egg back and forth. He didnt get it. The cahrphyans had been knocked around and pushed about, but had won great victories. Oh well. Kemelilui was tommorow. He understood that.

[Homelands our]

Jemma mos in the quarters
Repêchage heat 3
1 Alaïa Rodarta (JSY) 66.3 Q
2 Jemma mos (HLO) 55.7 Q
3 Andréia Maratoma (CAF) 43.1
4 Balena Zalpari (EUS) 41.5
5 Sally Aligen (CYB) 30.2

In her heat mos was the underdog but she overcome that but she will need to do that again.
" I came second " were the words that she spoke moments after finding out that she will continue on in this tournament.
" how did I do that 55.7 wow unexpected place in next round well you never know could I bring home medal number 2 for homelands our hopefully".

Roller skating
Roller skating, artistic—Men’s free skating (Roller Sports Arena)
Short program
⁠ 1 Ronaldo Muriel (CAF) 95.2
2 Mishka Sviatoslavov (SHO) 93.0
3 Toma Danburrelgada (EUS) 90.6
4 Keith Witsel (MGD) 87.9
5 Cheyne Thomas (MIL) 86.1
6 Casey Rice (COM) 85.5
7 Jonas Horenbout (KYP) 82.6
8 James Jarvis (LYM) 82.1
9 George Acress (CYB) 81.9
10 David Frey (HLO) 81.0


Final standings determined by sum of short program score and long program score, with the latter multiplied by 3



Roller skating, artistic—Women’s free skating (Roller Sports Arena)
Short program
1 Lisa Marie Momberger (MIL) 94.6
2 Erika Setsebaldián (EUS) 94.0
3 Isabel Guerra (CAF) 93.5
4 Jane Jarvis (LYM) 85.1
5 Katya Romanova (SHO) 83.7
6 Carmín Tovar (JSY) 81.3
7 Kitty Segers (KYP) 81.2
8 Helena Jenberg (CYB) 79.9
9 marri Frey (HLO) 75.9


Final standings determined by sum of short program score and long program score, with the latter multiplied by 3



Roller skating, artistic—Pairs (Roller Sports Arena)
Short program
1 Katya Romanova/Mishka Sviatoslavov (SHO) 93.8
2 Sul Moŋ-doŋ/Anastasia Rouvas (COM) 92.8
3 Leonardo Zucco/Fernanda Papas (CAF) 92.2
4 Toma Danburrelgada/Erika Setsebaldián (EUS) 90.5
5 Cheyne Thomas/Lisa Marie Momberger (MIL) 83.0
6 Jane Jarvis/James Jarvis (LYM) 82.8
7 David Frey/marri Frey (HLO) 77.1
8 George Acress/Helena Jenberg (CYB) 75.5


Final standings determined by sum of short program score and long program score, with the latter multiplied by 3



Roller skating, artistic—Team dance (Roller Sports Arena)
Short program
1 David Frey/marri frey (HLO) 94.2
2 Dina Machado/Jon Ausdelankea (EUS) 92.7
Sílvio Frescaloni/Alice Jordannes (CAF) 92.7
4 Cheyne Thomas/Lisa Marie Momberger (MIL) 91.3
Katya Romanova/Mishka Sviatoslavov (SHO) 91.3
6 Zairo Alarkono/Rosamunda Téiësa (JSY) 89.6
7 Jane Jarvis/James Jarvis (LYM) 79.6
8 Phillip Reneé/Jane Golbircht (CYB) 78.2


As you can see from the above it is in Roller skating, artistic—Team dance that we have the best hope for a medal. " bottom,bottom,bottom,second last,first talk about good surprises but we have still got the long program to do tomorrow" is how far marri Frey got before husband David jumped in " still that's a nice long lead we have to win this this is our star event 94.2 that is just work of the stars we are the stars marri this is our time". Marri can now speak " you are right this our time gold is not a certain but if we work hard then we should come away with a medal"
What to look out for tomorrow
We got some lifesaving some Boule sport Some artistic roller skating with the medals being handed out there And finally some water skiing

[Cafundeu]

ENROLADOR DE PEIXE
The daily newspaper with the news that others don't show

---

You know what happens: we run out of ink here in our office and suddenly the Cafundelense delegation starts producing tons of news that we should be releasing to the general public, but we couldn't. Now we simply do not have space for all of them, so we are going to condensate what should be very long news into small sequences of Headline-subtitle, in order to lessen the work of our interims who earn only the minimum in order to eat a breat with butter for breakfast and pay the bus. So, let's go ahead with this, by following the sucess of the Cafundelenses in the recent days of the World Games. Our medals are still concentrated in the boules sports and gymnastics and, understand this, they'll stay this way until the end of the events, because these sports are the ones we can do a good job... some of the others we don't even know how to play!

Guilherme and Michelle reach bronze thanks to spirit possession
in the mixed doubles event of Bowling, Guilherme Garcia and Michelle Humaitá were far away from the first three positions in the qualifying round... suddenly, in the last two games, Guilherme seemed to play in a completely different and much better style, transforming the Cafundelense double in the best team of that game. Curiously, he remembers nothing about that moment of the competition, and some mystics believe he was possessed. Unfortunately the spirit left him and they lost the semifinal match.

Acrobatic gymnastics repeat success of rhytmic gymnastics thanks to nutritive diet
Viviane Nazareth and Alessandra Toucinho won the gold medal in the women's pairs in a brilliant performance but very close to their main opponents. To the press, they told the reason of the success: "We ate a lot of those diet shakes, of the Emagrol brand... they are very nutritive and help us to keep a slim figure. You should all buy some too, and see the result! If you call them today they can give you a discount." The Cafundelense government is looking to tax Emagrol for promoting an advertisement strategy inside the World Games using the athletes. The mixed double also won the gold medal in their event too, but they didn't claim to be consumers of the diet shake Emagrol.

Cafundelense baseball team almost not loses
Remember that the Cafundelenses defeated Paripana in the first matchday, and people believed that was some joke created by the organizers? Well, they almost managed to do that again... unfortunately they lost, but that was more than expected.

Francisco Anysio Alencar's arthritis eliminates him from medal contention. Benjamin's new glasses send him to the gold. Elizabete's great-grandson gives her confidence
Anysio was Cafundéu's biggest hope of winning a gold medal in the Boules Lyonnaise, but he ended being out of the competition still in the qualification stage. His face during the event showed the pain he was suffering, which later was found to be due to his arthritis. "It got worse today, just today...", he said, taking some five minutes just to say that. On the other hand, Benjamin Caldeira won the gold in the progressive throw by a difference of just one point. He thanked his new glasses: "I probably wouldn't have sent the ball right on that last throw if it wasn't for my new glasses." Elizabete Bragança won the gold too in the precision throw. She also had someone to thank: "My great-grandson Bisnetinho travelled with me to Aeropag... poor boy, he had to leeave his wife back in Cafundéu.

Cássia Linhares defies critics
After being criticized for being too young and not being the relative of any of the other players as is the norm in the boules sports team of Cafundéu, Cassia answered by winning the gold in the progressive throw. Good job for the young girl who, aged 16, has one fifth of the age of the oldest member of the team. She won a piece of cake for her effort.

Trampoline and tumbling give more medals for Cafundéu
Dino Peixoto won the gold medal in tumbling, while the commentator was unable to finish his job in commenting both the tumbling and trampoline events due to a headache: "Trying to follow all these athletes jumping and turning with your eye surely is a tiring experience, and I felt dizzy after just a few minutes." Unfortunately for him, he didn't see the triumph of the Cafundelenses in the trampoline, where the country won two gold medals.

Leopoldo Inri wins bowling event thanks to his zen attitude
After winning the bowling competition, Inri was meditating and therefore unable to give us an interview.

[Commerce Heights]

Day 7 results are now up.

[Homelands our]

Summer Vetulse wins gold for homelands our


Lifesaving—Women’s 50 m manikin carry (Aeropag Natatorium)
Preliminary round
1 Cammie Carnohan (SHO) 38.43 Q
2 Alía Monkada (EUS) 38.65 Q
3 Katia Florakis (COM) 39.58 Q
4 Eliana Fusco (CAF) 40.28 Q
5 Jutta Lechelt (SHO) 41.21 Q
6 Miranda Buemi (CAF) 41.34 Q
7 Summer vetulse (HLO) 41.54 Q
8 Elizabeth Gill (LYM) 41.67 Q
9 Mary St John-Fry (LYM) 42.32
10 Margaret Fry-Fiennes (LYM) 42.50
11 Jemma Alander (CYB) 42.53
12 Hwaŋ Yuŋ-yû (COM) 43.42
13 Stephanie Steinkamp (KYP) 43.70
14 Tanela Drabondía (EUS) 45.59
15 Ca Suŋ-jûŋ (JSY) 46.58


Final
1 Summer vetulse (HLO) 38.39
2 Jutta Lechelt (SHO) 38.51
3 Alía Monkada (EUS) 38.84
4 Katia Florakis (COM) 38.89
5 Cammie Carnohan (SHO) 39.79
6 Elizabeth Gill (LYM) 39.84
7 Eliana Fusco (CAF) 40.48
8 Miranda Buemi (CAF) 41.07

MEDALISTS
Gold: Summer vetulse (Homelands our)
Silver: Jutta Lechelt (Shofercia)
Bronze: Alía Monkada (Euskirribakondara)

So that is our first gold of the I world games "I don't believe it all the work payed of I was less than a second away from elimination but gold is coming back with me to homelands our". Is what summer had to say after her win.

Bronze for David stuck

Lifesaving—Men’s 50 m manikin carry (Aeropag Natatorium)
Preliminary round
1 Percival St John (LYM) 31.46 Q
2 John Rankin (LYM) 33.43 Q
3 Breno Ferraz (CAF) 33.51 Q
4 David stuck (HLO) 33.52 Q
5 Hari Erentxe (EUS) 34.00 Q
6 Vicente Sison (KYP) 34.63 Q
7 Sirum Tafui’tafete (EUS) 34.65 Q
8 Michal Bredice (SHO) 34.67 *
Russel Weatherford (JSY) 34.67 *
10 Maurice Rankin (LYM) 34.71
11 Benedickt Rizen (CYB) 34.72
12 Erasmo Gertken (SHO) 34.78
13 Adam Fulleylove (KYP) 34.83
14 Thorsten Baer (COM) 34.94
15 Fernando Leal (CAF) 35.43
16 Gwon Moŋ-bo (JSY) 37.21


Swim-off
8 Russel Weatherford (JSY) 34.87 Q
9 Michal Bredice (SHO) 34.98


Final
1 Hari Erentxe (EUS) 30.98
2 Percival St John (LYM) 31.56
3 David stuck (HLO) 31.76
4 Vicente Sison (KYP) 31.77
5 Russel Weatherford (JSY) 32.16
6 John Rankin (LYM) 32.40
7 Breno Ferraz (CAF) 33.59
8 Sirum Tafui’tafete (EUS) 34.34

MEDALISTS
Gold: Hari Erentxe (Euskirribakondara)
Silver: Percival St John (Lymantatia)
Bronze: David stuck (Homelands our)

yes 2 medals today both in lifesaving but Only bronze for David stuck "I done better in the final so good day in the end less than a second to gold so disappointed but it is a medal".

How can Jemma mos do this

Water skiing—Women’s wakeboard (Jativan Sea)
Quarterfinals
Quarterfinal 1
1 Alaïa Rodarta (JSY) 77.9 Q
2 Laia Vives (SNO) 52.4 Q
3 Helen McLachlan (KYP) 50.8
4 Irina Sdavali (EUS) 41.0

Quarterfinal 2
1 Ines Krüger (LTK) 78.7 Q
2 Brenda do Monte Barbosa (MIL) 77.5 Q
3 Harriet Mietzer (CYB) 56.6
4 Cassie Stevenson (THA) 37.6

Quarterfinal 3
1 Emily Rotchell (KYP) 71.9 Q
2 Vanessa Olmache (CAF) 54.8 Q
3 Caitlin Wood (LTK) 48.1
4 Oretha Statten (ABK) 44.9

Quarterfinal 4
1 Generose Fernandez (MIL) 78.3 Q
2 Jemma mos (HLO) 51.6 Q
3 Liana Porolsco (THA) 44.6
4 Emilia Loehr (SHO) 29.6


Semifinal 1: Ines Krüger (LTK), Emily Rotchell (KYP), Brenda do Monte Barbosa (MIL), Vanessa Olmache (CAF)
Semifinal 2: Alaïa Rodarta (JSY), Generose Fernandez (MIL), Laia Vives (SNO), Jemma mos (HLO)

Well it's not a medal yet but Jemma mos is loving having the under dog tag.
"this is amazing fir me too,I feel like I am destined to win gold but I can't ok I can and I will".

[Zwangzug]

ABOMINABLE SNOWMEN REPORT--MATCHDAY 3

HOW THEY SCORED:

Second quarter, 4:08 remaining: McElkniv field goal, somehow

HOW THE OTHER THEY SCORED:

Third quarter, 7:02 remaining: pass and run, kick successful

WEATHER: Really hot

LIKELIHOOD OF ELIMINATION BEFORE POSSIBILITY OF EXPULSION FROM OLYMPIC TOWER: An objective 100% (but they have to keep playing! See Mira if you're feeling lucky...)

*

"Um. Are you Torim Slybe?"

"I mean,it's actually Tor-eem, but--"

"Oh sorry!"

"Wait, you're Clive Johansen."

"Um, yeah."

"Who got the win for the Zebras today?"

"Actually I had a no-decision, we were tied when I was taken out. But then they broke through late so we did win!"

"Oh! Well, that's nice. Um...wait what's going on?"

"I wanted to ask a question about boxing and you're the first person I found."

"Oh. Sure! Go for it!"

"What is shadow boxing? It's, not like, you're literally pretending to fight with shadows...is it?"

"Oh no, it's just the word for practicing boxing by yourself. Like..." He began to punch at empty space slightly to the left of Clive.

"Oh. Okay. I figured it couldn't be anything too weird."

"Heh, nope."

"All right. I'll see you. Thanks, Toreem."

"Oh no I'm not Torim."

"You're..."

"I'm Gabriel. I just, you were pronouncing it wrong."

"I...okay." Clive rolled his eyes and walked away.

*

Meanwhile, in the Kerlagrad Courier sports office...

"I've got it, you guys, I've got it!

Number one! Number one! Number one have mostly won!
Number one! Number one! Playing raffa all day long!

Number two! Number two! Number two has work to do!
Number two! Number two! Still throwing balls all day long!

Number three! Number three! Number three it still could be!
Number three! Number three! Throwing more balls all day long!

Number four! Number four! Number four have got to score!
Number four! Number four!"

"...okay, firstly it's Raffa with two As, and secondly Bronoly and Koving dropped to fifth."

"...Dang it."