World Cup 54: RP thread

[Akbarabad]

Akbarabad open World Cup campaign with comfortable win.

(Akbarabad Press, AP): The Tiger Eaters have opened their cup campaign with a fine 3-0 victory over debutants Cosumar. The Dragons displayed their relative inexperience and naivete by being repeatedly caught on the break, as Akbarabad scored all three of their goals with a counter attack. The Dragons own attacking forays usually petered out into nothing, with only the odd chances really threatening Tariq Iqbal. Iqbal was however up to the challenge and displayed some of the skill of the Interzonal phase where he had three crucial clean sheets. The ultimate result was another clean sheet for him and victory margin which temporarily sees Akabarabad at the top of Group 1.

The Archregimancy are next up for the Tiger Eaters and tensions have already risen before the match. It is the height of irony for an unctuous moron like 'Fr. Sozon the Simple to call us "whiners", when it is his own nation that has made the plaintive whine "Is Outrage" famous around the world. 'Fr. Sozon the Simple headed will be made to eat his words when his Monks face our team. We may have never played them before, but we do have a good record against their 'masters' in The Holy Empire whom we have never lost to despite them being much higher ranked. Back in World Cup 49, The Holy Empire were defending champions and ranked number two in the world, but we still held them to a 1-1 draw despite them barbarically threatening to slaughter all the members of the teams that lost games to them (A threat they carried out in the second round on the team from Milchama). An even better result was in World Cup 51, when The Holy Empire were beaten 2-1 in the second round, in our only quarter final appearance to date.

With all that past experience there is absolutely no reason to fear the monks. We have conquered The Holy Empire in the past, and we can conquer their pale imitation puppet regimes as well. Doing so may not silence the odious warbling of Fr. Sozon the Simpleton, but it will bring quiet satisfaction to the Tiger Eaters supporters anyway.

Akbarabad 3-0 Cosumar
(Rashid Hossain 29", Zahid Mohammed 67", Samin Akbar 83")

[Queer Poco el Mono Ara]

Whites wiped out in World Cup opener.

Mark Sloan’s Queer Poco el Mono Ara team were brushed aside in their first game of World Cup 54 by a rampant Krytenia side.

The team from Atlantian Oceania took the lead after twenty minutes before doubling the deficit 12 minutes later. On 37 minutes, centreback and captain Rudolpho rose highest from an inswinging corner from Hugo Anderson to reduce the gap to a single goal.

Just before half time controversy struck when midfielder Dean Bowyer fired a long range effort goalward, the attempt smashed against the underside of the bar and ricocheted off the frame of the goal and clearly feet over the line, evening the score up 2-2. As elated Pocoan players celebrated the equalizer the referee waved play on. Taking advantage of the confusion among the Pocoan ranks the Krytenian’s poured forwards with many of the Whites players out of position. As the opposition flowed forwards only two men stood in their way of goal, Pythons centreback Mercutio Vegas and ‘keeper Aruna Traore. A well timed ball left Traore exposed for the opposition to score making it 3-1 just before the break.

In a bid to bolster attacking options and rescue a point from the game, Sloan opted to shuffle his team, changing to a 4-3-3 and bringing on Hakan Mendez to make his international debut. The Athletic Khaldoon attackers presence could do nothing to change the outcome as late on the deserving leaders scored again to make it 4-1 and condemn the Whites to an opening day defeat.

After the game a despondent national coach commented “It’s a travesty. If Bowyer’s goal counts and we make it 2-2 before half time it’s a whole new game. But, as we all know, the ref waved play on and they scored again. There is no way in hell that goal should have stood, we only had two players in our half. The referee and the linesman are an absolute joke and have robbed us today.”

The coach’s words will do little to soothe the sting of such a hefty defeat for the fans back home who saw their side outclassed going forward by the Krytenian’s and shown to frail defensively.

Up next, The Whites face Kagdazka and Pazhujebu, whom we recently hosted here in Queer Poco el Mono Ara during the interzonal qualifying phase. The Sea Urchins will prove to be no pushovers despite their opening day demolition at the hands of Dorian and Sonya.

-----

The phone rang. It was the middle of the night and as always prompted panic in Mark Sloan. The oft asked question “who could be calling at this hour” rang out in his mind, it was an easy enough question to answer… pick up the phone. But at 3AM there was nothing but dread sitting heavy in his heart and preventing him from answering.

A deep breath before a wishful hello was met with sternness on the other end.

“Sloan.”

“Hello..” he said again.

“It’s the chairman.”

Mark didn’t need to ask, he could recognize the chairman’s voice. It was something synonymous with his shadowy nature.

“I know what you have been up to.”

There was silence on Sloan’s end.

“Nobody will ever find out. Although Raul will be severely dealt with.”

“Please, leave Raul out of it. We thought we were doing the best for the country.”

“By poisoning the players?”

Again Sloan was rendered silent. He had no idea he was poisoning the players. Having them drink bottles of water from the “fountain of youth”. The revitalizing power he had felt from the water before taking the job as QPeMA manager had given him an idea. Perhaps he could boost the player’s vitality with it and give them an edge, retrieving the water had been a difficult task and he had co-opted the Chairman of the F.A’s assistant Raul.

“You have to put a stop this. The water is not for consumption.”

“Okay. I’ll stop.”

“One last thing…..”

Mark felt a sudden chill run down his spine despite the intense heat in his hotel room replicating the conditions of back home in Queer Poco.

“Yes?”

“Do you have any last thing you’d like to say to Raul?”

There was a sudden shrill scream and the Chairman hung up the phone.

*retuning to this little story from World Cup 53. http://forum.nationstates.net/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=75405&start=475

-----

“You fuckers will never make me talk.” Luis van Gaal was indignant. Who the hell were “Starbuck and Power” and how dare they barge into his stately Pocoan home uninvited and start asking probing questions.

“Are you sure about that Mr. Van Gaal?” Power asked as Starbuck fumbled with something behind him. Power made sure he stayed in van Gaal’s line of sight so as he couldn’t see what Starbuck was doing. Starbuck was deliberately making a ton of noise before emerging over Power’s shoulder brandishing a dentist’s drill. The drill whirred and van Gaal’s face dropped.

“Who the hell are you two?”

“We’ll ask the questions thank you.” Replied Power as Starbuck fired up the drill again.

What do you want?”

“Who else has been manipulating the referee’s association?”

“What?

“You heard me.” Power and Starbuck slowly advanced on van Gaal, the drill whirring. The menacing pair could extract information from the toughest of nuts and draw blood from any stone.

“I don’t know anything.”

“You’re lying to us Mr. Van Gaal. We’ve heard the phone conversations.” Whirring, once again. It was becoming part of the background noise of van Gaal’s house as it was happening so often.

“You can’t touch me.”

“Says who?”

“There are laws, the police can’t do things like this to people.”

“Who said we’re the police.” They were, but there was nothing like lying to a liar to scare out the truth. Van Gaal’s face dropped again as Starbuck returned to the bag he brought with him. Inside the large leather travel bag was a cocktail of nasty devices and scary looking implements all intended to injure. Reaching for a hammer Power pounced and held van Gaal in place in the chair he had been sat in since they arrived. Essentially sitting on him, the chairman was bulkier than Power who was using all his strength to hold van Gaal’s hand out, flat, on the chair arm. Starbuck strolled over with the hammer held aloft.

“You’re going to tell us everything.” He instructed, bringing the hammer down.

[The Babbage Islands]

It was a quiet supper for eight in a house that showed wealth through understatement.

Tegan and Dick Valdemar were last to arrive on an inconveniently timed flight from Dover. Fortunately, this wasn't a formal dinner party. Certainly their hostess has put on such affairs. But no amount of money or acquired social graces can erase the stock car champion from the woman.

Kirsten Woods greeted the late arrivals herself. Her husband, Chip, was in the drawing room with Keith and Lauren Whittaker chatting about Test status for Babbage cricket. Keith was hired on by the Babbage Cricket Federation after a falling out with the owners in Babbage Islands Baseball, and this was his latest big plan.

As Elisabeth and James Tormey returned from a peaceful walk in the garden, Kirsten spoke. "I think it's time, my friends. Let's eat." And the future of Babbage sport went in to the table.

[The Babbage Islands]

RP cutoff for MD2, group stage.

[Cassadaigua]

It's time for the MD2 cutoff in Groups A-D. Any craziness in store?

Scores

[Jeruselem]

Kate Kool and Sharnee "Peppers" Bellpepper after the draw with Albundania

Kate: What's wrong with ya today, look tired more than usual.
Peppers: It was hard game today, and we all had to work hard to keep the draw.
Kate: True, but we could won too if we had some luck.
Peppers: All those off-sides. We could have scored a goal out of those.
Kate: On the other hand, the opposition could have too.
Peppers: I suppose, it was good game. No one really deserved to win.
Kate: See what happened to Qazox today?
Peppers: No
Kate: They just lost 7-0
Peppers: well, makes our effort look noble and err ...
Kate: You respectable
Peppers: That's it
Kate: Nevermind, we could have lost too.
Peppers: I think they didn't go to hard at us knowing we too can score goals.
Kate: Well, we can't complain.
Peppers: Why is Helena so grumpy? We didn't lose.
Kate: Err, nothing to do with us. She was hoping her Qazian friends did a little better today.
Peppers: At least our Jeru FC boys won.
Kate: See, don't worry about them.
Peppers: Now, what's next?
Kate: We play Andossa Se Mitrin Vega next.
Peppers: I'm no math genius, what do we need to do?
Kate: Well, if we win or draw. We make the next round. If they win, they make it
Peppers: What about Albundania?
Kate: Well, all they need is a win or draw to be safe. If they lose, then things get interesting. If we lose and they lose, well ... gets really confusing.
Peppers: They won't lose.
Kate: Exactly, so we need to win or draw.
Peppers: Jeru FC?
Kate: They play Qazox next ... a win would be safe, a but draw would be interesing if Cafundéu beat Aguazul. I don't see Cafundéu beating them.
Peppers: So Jeru FC really need a draw at least.
Kate: Qazox need to beat Jeru FC and hope Aguazul win too.
Peppers: I understand.
Kate: We need to cheer up the Princess.
Peppers: Helena said she has something for get rid of them.
Kate: Yes, but it's flamethrower ... we can't use it here.
Peppers: Her beloved Qazox face Jeru FC. She wants Qazox to win but it would push out Jeru FC out the the cup.
Kate: Yes, I imagine our Queen Dazza is having the same dramas. Only one of Jeru FC or Qazox can make it, but then Cafundéu could go through instead.
Peppers: I guess it's important we win.
Kate: Yes, we need one team in the last 16.
Peppers: Hey, what's these red marks.
Kate: Looks like bedbugs Peppers, you got bit.
Peppers: But I didn't have sex last night with anyone.
Kate: No, real bedbugs. Little horrible bugs that bite you when you are sleeping.
Peppers: Oh, what to do?
Kate: Say, seem to get bit all the time.
Peppers: I think I have them bugs at home too.
Kate: Well, you must really clean up then. They are impossible to get rid off.
Peppers: But I'm not rich like you,
Kate: You must, you're kids will suffer too.
Peppers: I don't have lot of money.
Kate: Get some magic spray that Helena uses.
Peppers: Yeah, does it work?
Kate: Sure does, kills bedbugs so quickly they don't have time to think.
Peppers: I'll get some. It's hard to sleep.

[The Babbage Islands]

Cosumar's Rikki Varshney did something yesterday that I don't think has ever been done before -- he quieted a home crowd at Whitecliff Stadium. Varshney took a lead pass from captain Irvinn Rincon, slipped past Ronald Dennis with superb footwork, and jammed a 1-0 goal past a leaping Elizabeth Hanna in the 26th minute of play. Our Bumblebees went to the interval down by that one goal, and I'm sure the thought of upset was on everyone's mind.

Fortunately for our sanity, Kristine Lindquist redirected a Tad Hollister cross in the 69th to equalise. Thus Cosumar 1-1 The Babbage Islands joined Valanora 1-1 Sarzonia as shock draws of the tournament. Varshney was named man-of-the-match for that goal and for his splendid spirited play throughout.

So Group A comes down to the last day for all four squads. And we are pulling for Cosumar, and they are pulling for us. A Dragons win negates most of our elimination scenarios should we lose to Akbarabad, and they'll go through to the second round if they win and we win.

I plan to be back in Dover for the Akbarabad match. But Dick and I had a lovely side trip to Belgium, including some quality football and dinner at the Woods residence. Apparently Kirsten and Chip have invitations to the McAllister-Keisler nuptials, too, so we may all make the trip together.

We weren't the only couple invited over, either. Elisabeth Tormey and her husband Jim were there, and it's hard to call her just Elisabeth or Liz. She's had a title so long, Assemblyman, Lady Speaker, Councillor, President. Now she's not in public office and I think she's loving it. Keith Whitaker and his wife were there, too, and he's all excited about the Global Cricket Federation and the upcoming international test matches. I think the real test of a test match is waiting five days for a result and not getting one a third of the time. But there are some magnificent athletes on the cricket ground all the same.

As it happens, all eight of us will be attending the Ashton Olympics at different times. Richard's daughter Andrea Valdemar is entered in six or seven events and is hoping to better her silver/bronze performances from the last winter games. We won't see her early events in person with the World Cup on, but should be right there cheering later. Elisabeth is a curler who just missed being on the team and she's looking forward to watching those matches.

Mostly I think we're all entered in the non-medal event of networking. If the mayor of Charleston and a couple of other key players join us, watch for announcements before the torch goes out.

Smile!

[Cafundeu]

FOLHA DA CAPITAL
O jornal no lugar certo na hora certa da notícia

Edição de Sábado - Ano 240 - Caderno III - Preço: V$3,80

---

ALONE IN A DISTANT LAND

He has a smile on his face, but it seems to be too forced to be true. The hotel is a fine one, but there isn't much for him to do during his free time here in Cassadaigua: he would like to go out and have some fun, but he would have to go alone, and this way he wouldn't distract himself. But he doesn't regret coming to the World Cup: after all, watching the Monopolists in the international competition was his dream, and everything has a bad side. For this trip, the bad side is to endure the loneliness that follows him during most of the time. And it isn't that he hasn't got any friends, or that he usually stays alone like now: no, the truth is very different, and this is the main reason why these moments in Cassadaigua can be so difficult for him: when he is at home, in Lasft, he has some good friends who would go with him anywhere, and he would never find himself without something to do or someone to go with him. This is the point: he isn't used to do things alone, if this was a common thing there would be nothing wrong with it for him. But he makes an effort to think this way: even alone, this is the best experience of his life, and he doesn't need to share this with anyone else. It's correct that watching the World Cup at the stadium is an excellent thing, but looking at him now it's difficult to believe that he really is feeling too well in order to smile that way. He greets me and we start the interview.

First of all, I ask him about his love for football and other reasons for why he is here. He answers me: "I really enjoy football, I am a proud América fan and I watch all the matches of the Monopolists, even in friendlies and minor competitions. It's been my dream to watch a World Cup match, so I am really anxious for this moment, it'll be great." After these first words, I could notice that his passion for the sport is true, and that he surely would enjoy the game. But then I touch the point that he came to Cassadaigua alone, and he comments: "Well, my best friends aren't so interested in football and wouldn't spend their money in this trip. I can't force them to do things they won't enjoy. I'm sure they'd come with me if this was something they like. But I'm used to watch football games alone, and if Cafundéu scores I'll call them to commemorate." At that point, I started to believe that there was nothing different in this story, even though my editor told me that Silvério's case was different. Many people from Cafundéu go to the World Cup nation alone, and have a great time this way. But my editor commented, before sending me here, that this guy had a close relationship with some of his friends, and that his passion for football would not surpass the feeling of missing these people. It didn't seem to be this way, and we chatted about Cafundelense football for a long time, with Silvério excited with the match.

On the way to the stadium, he was quiet. No doubt that watching Cafundéu playing was something he was really anxious to do, he got nervous when we got close to the stadium, unable to hide his excitement. But, at the same time that excitement was growing within him, I could also notice the first signs that my editor was right. He got closer to me and started talking, non-stop, commenting about the football team and about the Monopolists' chances of winning this World Cup: he needed someone to talk with, and he found me. Perhaps we could only really discover how much the absence of his friends affected him if we could record his moments when he was completely alone. After all, during the interview, he wasn't really alone, he was with me. Already at the stadium, he commented: "I wish she could see this too." The "she" he is referring to is one of his friends, and finally he was showing the signs that he missed them. Talking more with him about this issue, I discovered more about this specific friend: they do many things together, they live together, and one has a huge trust for the other. In the end, Silvério is clearly dependant of her, and he has an urge to share every one of his feelings to her, and to be part of her life as much as possible. Perhaps, I find it difficult to not think of this possibility, he is in love with her, and to be away from her during such a special moment hurts him.

And the game really didn't help him to feel better. Once again Cafundéu had a horrible performance under the leadership of coach Ganz Ijak, who will surely be out of football if the Monopolists don't qualify for the next stage. With horrible defending and apathic attack, the Cafundelenses let Jeru FC open four goals of advantage. Romergleydson scored near the end of the match, but at that point things weren't going to change, and it's not that Cafundéu improved in order to score, but that Jeru FC thought that no effort was needed in order to hold the Cafundelense attacks. In the end, a humiliating loss provoked a really sad face for Silvério. He looked at me hopeless, commenting: "This is not how I thought this would be... oh well, time to go back to the hotel." There was no one there to comfort him, to make him feel better after the Monopolists caused a huge frustration. He only walked away and waved me goodbye. Going back in time for some minutes, during the match he was really quiet too, especially with Cafundéu losing, and when the team scored he grabbed his phone and attempted to call his friend, without answer. At that point I attempted to speak with him about the match, but that wasn't really a good idea since the Monopolists were losing. He only mumbled something and returned to look at the pitch, though it wasn't hard to notice that his mind wasn't really focused on what was going on there, but on a place far away.

In order to check the other side of this story, our newspaper send another reporter in order to meet Silvério's friends back in Lasft. They were reunited in front of the television, watching the match between Cafundéu and Jeru FC. When asked about Silvério, they answered: "Oh, him? I remember him, yes, he is a nice person... where he is?" When the phone rang, she thought that it was Banco Econômico wishing to talk about a debt she has, so no one answered. If they could at least remember Silvério's phone number... at night, he'll probably attempt to call her one more time, and won't receive an answer again, having to go to sleep early in order to avoid staying alone for much longer. After all, in his dreams all his friends are reunited with him in Cassadaigua, and Cafundéu is playing magnificently, defeating an All-Star squad in order to conquer the World Cup... well, unfortunately for us things aren't this way too, with the Monopolists on the verge of a ridiculous elimination from the competition.

[Qazox]

The Road to One Big Island and World Cup 54

DEVISTATING.

So much for going down with a fight. After out most recent news item hit the ether, apperently we didn't know not to call Aguazul overconfident. But we learned not to do it again, after the sent the Pheonx crashing with a historical butt-whupping 7-0. It is the most goals allowed and worst loss in team history. The Aguazulians tied the prviuos mark in the first half, scoring 5 times, including a hat-trick from Gunsedal Cisneros in the span of 9 minutes. Luckily, if it can be said that anything was any bit lucky for Qazox today; it was that Pelayo Sortani took out Cisneros at the half, or else it could have gone into double-digits.

The only good news of the day was no one got injured and Qazox has still a slim chance to get to the next round. To do so, they will have to beat Jeru FC and have Aguazul defeat or draw with Cafundu. Anything else and Qazox is eliminated.

SCORELINE

QZX  0 0  0
AGZ  5 2  7

Scoring:
Aguazul: Gerardo Riquelme- 5'
Aguazul: Gunsedal Cisneros- 11'
Aguazul: Gunsedal Cisneros- 16'
Aguazul: Gunsedal Cisneros- 20'
Aguazul: Vincente Aspe- 39'
Aguazul: Sosimo Lissón- 65'
Aguazul: Rubén Saavedra- 84'

ZONAL SCHEDULE:
MD1: @ Cafundeu L 0-4
MD2: v. Daemonheart @ Estadia Pika, Pika City. Capacity: 84,562 W 1-0
MD3: v. Sirain @ Ganja Vodka Stadium, Fromburg. Capacity: 94,500 W 3-2
MD4: BYE
MD5: @ Fellow Citizens W 3-0
MD6: v. Cafundeu @ Qazian Memorial Stadium II, Qazox City. Capacity: 100,052 W 2-0
MD7: @ Daemonheart W 4-1
MD8: @ Sirain W 4-1
MD9: BYE
MD10: v. Fellow Citizens @ New Bruxen Hotel & Casino Field, New Bruxen. Capacity: 77,721 W 3-1
INTERZONAL SCHEDULE:
MD11: Jalanat @ Estadio Victoria, Ambrose W 3-1
MD12: Churchma @ New World Stadium, Flynn’s Isle W 1-0
MD13: Eastfield Lodge @ New World Stadium, Flynn’s Isle W 3-1
MD14: Khytenna @ Estadio de la Esperanza, Minanda L 0-3
MD15: Kagdazka and Pazhujebu @ Estadio de la Esperanza, Minanda D 0-0
WORLD CUP 54 SCHEDULE:
MD1: Cafundeu D 1-1
MD2: Aguazul L 0-7
MD3: Jeru FC Qazox' 600th international

[Krytenia]

Dorian And Seeya
By Rami Niblick in Starksville, Cassadaigua

TO be the best, it is said, you have to beat the best. And they don't come any more "the best" than the reigning world champions. Admittedly, Dorian and Sonya's capturing of the fifty-third World Cup was a surprise to many - not least the Sylvanae themselves - but the fact still remains, the Mystical Unicorns (as nicknames go, that one's certainly...out there) are the world champions. For now, anyways. D&S find themselves hanging in the qualification balance after this majestic three-one victory for the ascendant Aces; not a problem for Krytenia, though, with qualification for the knockouts assured with a game to spare.

The main man to thank for this astonishing win, of course, was the man responsible for charging the game in midfield. Conrad di Maggio may be as near to forty as thirty, but the fact remains that his fitness, and eye for pinpoint passing, is at least as good as a man ten years younger. And, apparently, female elves five times his age. A beating heart of the side, the Northwood man was there at every turn. He set up Zach Kennedy for the opener after just four minutes, and created chance after chance. Indeed, only the heroics of Jania Lassvanil, agile as a genetically-modified cat despite being only five foot two, stood between di Maggio's orchestrations and a rout.

The second half was more of the same, with Simon Carter and Kevin Ireland both turning di Maggio passes into goals, and though a late Narniel Amandguord volley left Robert Venus no chance and the score respectable, that was it for the Sylvanae. For them, it's a make-or-break tie against the Poconese for the second qualifying spot. For the Aces, meanwhile, it's a dead rubber against Kagdazka and Pazhujebu with just two incentives: firstly, a draw will assure Krytenia wins the group; secondly, their opponents play in purple.

Oh, and speaking of purple, we're all officially half-Bostopian until the end of Matchday Three. Onward!

DORIAN AND SONYA - 1
Amandgourd 82

KRYTENIA - 3
Kennedy 5
Carter 53
Ireland 60

[Sarzonia]

The rainbow coloured kits was one difference. So, too was the looks on the faces of the Sarzonian national football team prior to their match against Delaclava in the second match of the World Cup 54 group stage.

Unlike the first match, which saw resentment bubbling up into scowls and glares on the part of the Stars toward the world's top ranked team hailing from Valanora, the Stars had a simple businesslike look to their drills. Now was not the time to have friendly chats with the players they would be battling for the right to qualify for the proper. Rather, now was the time for getting down to business.

The biggest difference, however, could have been seen in the reaction of noted Stars thug Carletta Ryan. Unlike that look she gave against Valanora which suggested she was trying to find a target to cut down, she had a pensive look. That look led to a strange admission to a reporter from a local weekly newspaper.

"I'm hoping I can get [Alessandro Campeon] Berrera's jersey after the match," she said. "I've tried to get it each time, but [other players] always beat me to the punch."

It was the Phoenixes who beat the Stars to the punch in the early going as Delaclava built a stunning 2-0 lead just 14 minutes in. And Stars manager couldn't blame either poor play on the part of goalkeeper Cody Taylor or a defensive breakdown by his back four for the Phoenixes lead. He simply yelled out, "you got this! C'mon lads and lasses!"

"I can't call timeout in this game," Braddock said to a reporter roving behind the players bench. "If I could, I'd tell them to shake off the goals and just play their game."

Braddock made that point emphatically clear by what he didn't do. He didn't send on any substitutes, simply waving his arms when he saw defender Ben Davis slouch toward the bench.

"Get back out there!" Braddock shouted. "Mark your man!"

The Stars finally began to resemble the 16th ranked team in the world against No. 19 Delaclava after the first half hour passed. Finally, midfielder Laura Grover won a ball and fired a quick pass in the direction of forward Dennis Crandall. Crandall noticed two Delaclav defenders sliding toward him in an effort to cut off his path toward goal and he one-touched a pass toward Ettore Salivani, Jr. Salivani chipped the ball over an oncoming defender and found Matt Lynch.

"Oh fuck!" Salivani shouted after he'd sent his ball, thinking the ball would be much too high, even for the 6-foot-3 Lynch. However, Lynch had little trouble getting his head to the ball and sending a pass that just nicked off the outstretched glove of Delaclav goalkeeper Graham Torres and past the goal for a corner kick.

"Take the corner, Davis!" Lynch shouted, surprising nearly everyone in a Sarzonia kit, or a Delaclav kit for that matter. Davis never took corners, at least not since the early days of the Stars when they were an unranked side. Didn't matter. Davis jogged toward the end line and stood over the ball. He saw Ryan jogging up and sneaking by Jamal Pacheco. He slid the ball to Ryan with the side of his foot. Ryan put on a stutter-step and fired a cross that somehow found the left foot of Crandall. Then somehow, the deflection fooled Torres and the Stars got one back just after the 37th minute began.

The goal would lift Sarzonia's spirits dramatically, but Ryan would have a knee in the biggest moment of her career by far, and one that would see the Stars still harbouring realistic hopes of making it back to the knockout rounds. Unlike the usual purpose for her right knee, injuring some poor, unsuspecting soul who dared try to make his way into Sarzonia's defensive zone, she leapt up with the idea of trying to cross the ball toward Lynch. Instead, the ball found her knee and caromed into the net.

The Vegan referee delayed for a second, admitting later that he didn't expect Ryan to have scored the goal, but he dutifully pointed to signal the goal. Ryan hopped a couple of times, saying the ball stung, but the fact that her team was now level on the scoresheet made the sting feel much less potent.

Not much else was memorable about the match. Sarzonia had a couple of tentative chances. Delaclava had strong possession that didn't turn into much. However, the biggest thing Cyanea citizens would remember was the stark difference in the postmatch reactions of Sarzonian players.

Instead of the cold shoulders the Stars gave to their elven foes after the match against Valanora, the Stars exchanged warm hugs with their Delaclav friends and neighbours. And for Ryan, the equaliser and the assist paled in comparison to her reaching what she said before match was her biggest goal.

As she sat in the dressing room addressing the media, she proudly cradled a Delaclav jersey in her arms. A jersey that once belonged to Delaclav captain Alessandro Campeon Berrera.

With the final group stage matchday looming, the scenarios were now quite clear. With Valanora's expected 3-1 triumph over Newmansitan in the books, Sarzonia would have to defeat the world's 84th ranked side to guarantee a place in the Round of 16. Meanwhile, Delaclava would face Valanora. A victory for Valanora would give the elves seven points from nine matches and would eliminate the Phoenixes no matter what Sarzonia did. A victory for Newmanistan would eliminate the Stars no matter what happened in the Valanora-Delaclava match. Draws in both matches would leave the decision about which team qualified between the Stars and the Phoenixes to tiebreakers.

For manager Franz Braddock, the calculus was easy.

"Win and we're in," he said. He also made no bones about what his hopes were.

"I want all of Cyanea to be celebrating two nights from now," he said. "I want both of us to go through."

As soon as all the other players heard their coach's assessment, they all agreed. At least the ones who weren't busy planning a night out with their counterparts from tonight's pitch battle. But if they'd been asked, they certainly would have agreed.

There would be one more night for grim determination. There would be one more night for tension to fill the pre-match air. But this was a night for friendly rivals, the one night in this World Cup as far as the Stars were concerned.

[Jeru FC]

Princess Shay Lauren Dallas and Mango Mousse after Jeru FC's recent win

Mango: What's with sad face?
Shay: Oh Qazox, put it this way. It's us or them to make the next round.
Mango: I know it's hard. The coach says Jeru FC is the priority.
Shay: I know, you win even if it eliminates Qazox.
Mango: Well, I like Qazians.
Shay: Why is that?
Mango: Well, all the Qazians I know are sexy!
Shay: Like Princess Helena and Queen Lilian Dazza Greenly.
Mango: Yes. Cheer up!
Shay: I guess it's not my problem. I'm not even remotely Qazian.
Mango: Cheer up Qazox made the finals.
Shay: That one thing but I wish Jeru FC and Qazox could get through together.
Mango: Nevermind that.
Shay: What's with this new look?
Mango: I don't want to be a bogan. I want look respectable!
Shay: Let guess, you don't want look like Bogan Dad.
Mango: If you mix with people like you, I have to move up in class.
Shay: From a Bogan, to someone who's a bogan trying not look like a Bogan.
Mango: I'm trying!
Shay: Yes, well it's positive step forward.
Mango: Now that I'm a Dad, I need to not embarass my kid.
Shay: Good, I think Peppers will be pleased about this.
Mango: Mind you, this isn't cheap ...
Shay: Hopefully you'll find a good paying job when you leave Jeru FC and be a good Dad.
Mango: I hope so, I really need the money.
Shay: Money doesn't grow on trees.
Mango: You're a Princess, it does for you.
Shay: Hey, I have to work being a Princess.
Mango: But you don't need work too hard.
Shay: Well, that too. For now, concentrate on being our master striker for jeru FC.
Mango: It's sad we need to beat our friends Qazox.
Shay: It has to be done. There's no time for love during a war.
Mango: We can make time for love ...
Shay: Oi, we're talking football not sex here.
Mango: Always time for love, you're a Dallas.
Shay: Well, I suppose ...

[Dorian and Sonya]

Unicorns No Match for Aces On This Day
Win or Draw a Must Vs QPeMA

My Queen.

We knew when the draw was announced that one team had the ability to steal a match from us and make our advancement that much harder. Krytenia. And the damn Kryties did not disappoint.

Our defense never really settled in as the Aces ran out to an impressive 3-0 lead and never, ever looked back. Except for a late goal as the Aces coasted, it could easily have been the worst defeat of our girls during this entire campaign.

That leaves one final match in the group stage. One that we must win or draw in order to advance. Queer Poco el Mono Ara will obviously have other ideas as they seek to qualify themselves. But fortunately a draw will do them absolutely no good. For the Mystical Unicorns it is now time to put up or shut up. Last time out may have been a fluke as far as many are concerned - We are out to prove differently - and this match is very important in that respect.

Of major concern is the fact that J’hys Ickaeth has now gone consecutive matches without a goal for the first time in quite a long time. Defenses seem to have figured out a way to shut her down and now we must find a way to get her untracked and back in the scoring column. Top reserve Alura Sabre has not been called upon in the past two matches causing many to speculate upon the status of her health. No official news has been released but it does seem odd not to have seen the talented young striker especially given Ickaeth’s struggles.

Hopefully I will have good news when I write again.

Your humble servant,
Khyber

[Newmanistan]

Stacey Keisler has always been an opportunist. Therefore, it was only natural for her to use the Rockets next World Cup game against mighty Valanora as justification as to why her daughter should maintain her focus on baseball and forget about this football thought she had been having. To make her argument clear and to the point, Stacey did some research on the Vanorians, wanting to come across as very knowledgeable about the number one seed in international football, and a nation that has consistently been at minimum, in the top five, in every year the Rockets have participated in the World Cup. They were a perfect case study with all the wonderful things that they have accomplished. Laborious Hawk is a legend, but the 683-year old elf is just one component of this dominant team. If you’ve read this far you probably know exactly where Stacey would go with this.

“They are the Newmanistan of the World Cup,” Stacey said to her daughter, “When you think about all of the wonderful things that the Rockets have done in the World Baseball Classic. That wonderful dominance, well that is what Valanora has done in football. They are the nation that every shoots for, but very few are able to knock off their feet.”

Junior stood to the side, hoping that Stacey was not about to take this in its predictable direction. Maybe, possibly, she was going to legitimately teach Courtney about Vanorian football. Yeah, good luck with that. Stacey showed Courtney a picture of the great Laborious Hawk, “This man, or elf, is the best player in the game today. Right Jeremy?”

Junior sighed for a couple reasons. First, because he knew why Stacey was bringing this up and asking him this, but secondly, he played against Laborious Hawk a few times, and despite the ranks, the Rockets have had positive results against Valanora in the past. On this, he was not going to give in to this future wife. “Hawk is good, but every time we played him we did a respectable job of containing him. There are better players in the World Cup.” Junior said with a sarcastic grin and a wink to Stacey.

Stacey gave Junior a three-second speechless stare, and continued, “Well, just look at these accolades Hawk has received over the course of his long career. Maybe from World Cup to World Cup there is a player or two that has had a better tournament, but no one has had the kind of consistent and reliable success that Hawk has had.”

Junior interrupts, “His teammates don’t get enough credit. Trust me.”

Finally Courtney chimes in, “Well he’s so old that probably his wisdom and experience is what makes him so great. Like he knows what’s going to happen before it even does. The team is probably so good since they are all hundreds of years old so like they have some special kind of chemistry. Plus being elves probably makes them hard to play against.”

Needing to put this conversation back on her desired track, Stacey replies, “Regardless, Laborious Hawk is a wonderful player, and as their captain he is their leader, He has an outstanding group of teammates. The accolades he gets are deserved. I know when I was young pitcher (Junior rolls eyes), it was always nice to see this accolades. It was great for people to notice you in such a manner. This is when pitching became really fun for me and not just something I was doing because I happened to be good at. When I was able to pitch for the Rockets, I took a lot of pride in the fact that we were just about always the top ranked team in the sport. We consistently made the championship series, and they still do today. There is an aura about the Rockets in baseball, and Valanora has it here. I noticed many international reports where foreign media sources were either glad not to see Valanora in their group, if they weren’t, or they were discouraged to see them if they were. No one wants to play Valanora now. While the competitive spirit is sometimes better as an underdog, it’s also amazing to know that you are the top dog. You see what I am saying, hun?”

Courtney smiles, “Yeah, I guess so.”

The next day, they head out to the stadium to watch the game. While it seems to be a pro-Newmanistan crowd, in general, Laborious Hawk is able to silence the Rocket and One Big Island faithful in the 7th, and then again in the 15th. It was hard for Stacey to conceal her smile as the Vanorians dominated the match, but she found a way to do so. Newmanistan didn’t go quietly, and Junior mentioned the fight of the team as often as they could, and especially after Shane Bartley scored in the 55th. For a little while afterwards, it looked like the Rockets might get the equalizer, but in pushing for it in the latter stages, a brilliant long ball from Dwier Titenburg Jr to Allandren Fresco caught the Rockets upfield and resulted in the third Valanora score in the game’s 84th minute. It was a game where most reporters would commend the general effort of the Rockets, but then use the word “outclassed” to describe the result. Such would be a fair analysis. Stacey continued to respect Valanora in future comments to Courtney, and was probably the happiest Newmanistanian over this result, even if she tried not to show it. She was aware though, that it was a perfect result to convince her daughter to remain focused on baseball. And Junior knew it. Once again, he felt personally defeated by Laborious Hawk and company.

Within the Rockets locker room, coach Tremblay tried to lift the spirits of the team. The 2-2 draw between Sarzonia and Delaclava was actually a very good result as it keeps Newmanistan in a “win and your in” situation. Beat Sarzonia (which is obviously easier said then done), and Newmanistan advances to the round of sixteen. Anything else would send the team on their way home, and even though in the long run this campaign will be viewed as a success, no one is thinking about that now. Coach Tremblay had the perfect idea to provide a little more spark for the Rockets to beat the Stars. Guest pre-game speaker: Carrie Nicolette.

Brilliant.

Why Not?

[Andossa Se Mitrin Vega]

Sea Dragons To Battle Princesses For Right To Move On

Ciara: Whew! Escaped with a point from Sibirsky. That was tough.

Kymy: Always is when we play them at anything.

Salis’hava: Oh My God! Mace is gonna sing.

Jonasei: You’ve got it bad, girl. He is nearly old enough to be your dad.

Salis’hava: So what? He is sooooo hot!

Emyle: Puke.

Mace: I saw him dancing there by the record machine
I knew he must have been about seventeen

Kymy: And now we must find a way to beat Jeruselem.

Ciara: That’s not going to be easy.

Mace: The beat was going strong, playing my favorite song
And I could tell it wouldn't be long
till he was with me, yeah, me

Salis’hava: How can you not love it when he shakes his ass?

Emyle: Very easily.

Mace: And I could tell it wouldn't be long
till he was with me, yeah, me, singin'

Ciara: Jeruselem. Have we beat them before?

Mace: I love rock 'n' roll
So put another dime in the jukebox, baby
I love rock 'n' roll
So come and take your time and dance with me

Kymy: Yeah. Once I think. But they will be looking to knock us out.

Jonasei: Like we will be looking to top them

Mace: He smiled, so I got up and asked for his name
"That don't matter," he said, "'cause it's all the same.”

Ciara: She threw her panties on stage again…

Jonasei: Sali, get a grip. Mace is gay. Get that through your head.

Salis’hava: He is not! Liar!

Mace: He said, "Can I take you home where we can be alone?"
And next we were moving on
and he was with me, yeah, me

Kymy: I don’t know if he is or not but he does get into singing women’s songs.

Ciara: Will that help us beat Jeruselem?

Mace: Next we were moving on
and he was with me, yeah, me, singin'

Emyle: Only if we can make the Jeruselem players think he is after all the men. They would fight tooth and nail to not let that happen.

Jonasei: Are they ‘those’ kind of girls?

Mace: I said, "Can I take you home where we can be alone?"
And next we were moving on
and he was with me, yeah, me, singin'

Emyle: Some of them have been known to be……..promiscuous.

Kymy: You will get your butt pinched once or twice during the match.

Mace: I love rock 'n' roll
So put another dime in the jukebox, baby
I love rock 'n' roll
So come and take your time and dance with me

Salis’hava: I will just have to prove he is not gay.

Ciara: Oh no you don’t! We have a match to get ready for.

Mace: I love rock 'n' roll
So put another dime in the jukebox, baby
I love rock 'n' roll
So come and take your time and dance with

Emyle: Besides, he is way too old for you.

Salis’hava: The match is more important. But when this is over…

Mace: I love rock 'n' roll
So put another dime in the jukebox, baby
I love rock 'n' roll
So come and take your time and dance with

I love rock 'n' roll
So put another dime in the jukebox, baby
I love rock 'n' roll
So come and take your time and dance with

Kymy: Lets just concentrate on Jeruselem. We have to win that match.

Ciara: Then we will get back to talking you out of this whole Mace thingy

Salis’hava: Doubt that

Mace: I love rock 'n' roll
So put another dime in the jukebox, baby
I love rock 'n' roll
So come and take your time and dance with me

[The Archregimancy]

THE ARCHREGIMANCY 2 - AKBARABAD 0

The Archregimancy's Post-Match Press Conference

"...to the press conference. We'd once again like to welcome national team manager Fr. Sozon the Simple and Holy Synod representative Fr. Cyrill the Pusher of Pencils."

"Yes, Fr. Sozon... before the match, reports in the Akbarabad Press referred to you as 'an unctuous moron' who 'will be made to eat his words'; do you have any reaction to those comments after your squad's impressive victory?"

"I am but a simple sinner of a lowly worm of a monk wretch, and have little knowledge of the Akbarabad Press - and there can be little doubt that many would therefore consider me to be a moron, simple soul that I am - so all I have to say on this matter is contained in John 8.
'So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her. And again he stooped down, and wrote on the ground. And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst. When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee? She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.'"

"Still, 2-0, that's an impressive turnaround from the last match. Any change in tactics?"

"I am but a simple sinner of a lowly worm of a monk wretch, and know only that the tactics of the Archregimancy's national football team are as unchanging, even unto ages of ages, as the Orthodox Church itself. But I did ask Fr. Luke and Fr. Onesiphorus to push forward more on the right to exploit a perceived weakness in the Tiger Eater defence; Shayaz Azam has to be a free agent for a reason, right?"

"It must have really hurt Akbarabad to see both goals scored by Fr. Luke the Third Holy Igumen after everything they'd said about your team; perhaps they underestimated the abilities of your 95 year old right winger?"

"I am but a simple sinner of a lowly worm of a monk wretch, but I do know that Fr. Luke has been on the last two Archregimancy World Cup squads for a reason. He is much fitter than he may appear to be, and he brings great prayerfulness and holiness on the right. Truly, we are blessed indeed to have him play for us."

"Fr. Sozon, Fr. Cyrill, I understand that there's been some controversy over the most recent edition of Babbage Islands Football Blog ' Tegan Tells'"

"What sort of controversy?"

"Well, Fr. Cyrill, it's the specific comment that 'we are pulling for Cosumar, and they are pulling for us'; one senior source in the Monastic Football Association has called this 'an open admission by senior representatives of the Restorationist heretics that a conspiracy to eliminate the Archregimancy has not just been planned, but is actively being implemented."

"I am but a simple sinner of a lowly worm of a monk wretch, and know little of these political issues."

"What I believe Fr. Sozon means to say is that the 'Tegan Tells' blog is written by a private individual, and is therefore not representative of the opinions of the Babbage Islands government, nor of the WC54 organising committee. Nonetheless, given the concerns expressed by some quarters in both the Archregimancy and Akbarabad regarding the neutrality of the hosts, these potentially inflammatory comments were perhaps ill-judged; this makes it all the more important that the results of the commission of inquiry led by Ms. Woods and Metropolitan Artemas are released before the final matchday so as to calm any potential tensions raised by these unfortunate remarks."

"You seem awfully restrained for Archregimancy representitives; let's not forget that some sources in Akabarabad have openly claimed 'There exists a strong possibility that The Babbage Islands will undoubtedly abuse their hosting powers'. Are you saying that you don't think the Tegan Tells blog should be shut down, as apparently demanded by some individuals in both the Archregimancy and Akbarabad?"

"I am but a simple sinner of a lowly worm of a monk wretch, and know not what this 'blog' of which you speak might be. Is it a type of parchment?"

"I believe that Fr. Sozon is simply noting that the Holy Synod does not take an official position on media expression in the Babbage Islands."

"And what about the forthcoming match against Cosumar? Any plans there, Fr. Sozon?"

"I am but a simple sinner of a lowly worm of a monk wretch, and do not concern myself with Cosumar; nonetheless, one cannot help but observe that our superior head to head record against Akbarabad means that we shall qualify for the second round with a draw, so long as Akbarabad do not defeat the Bumblebees. Still, to play for the draw is dangerous, and we shall go forth as if to attain victory, placing our trust in the Lord as we do so."

"If I can interrupt - that's all we have time for today, as Fr. Sozon and myself have to return to training to lead a special prayer for the Righteous Theodora, wife of the Emperor Theophilus, the Iconoclast - a particular favourite of ours. We look forward to meeting you again after the Cosumar match."

[Cassadaigua]

Steffie’s Space

Before I begin, I wish to express my condolences to the friends of family of Rennidan’s Darion Tadeo who tragically passed away following a violent collision in a World Bowl game. It is a different sport and some would say a different football, but Tadeo is still one of us. He was a professional athlete who died representing his country. It will be argued that Tadeo would have survived the hit had he been wearing padding, but in Rennidan they do not do that. As an athlete, you see that and wonder, could that happen to me? It doesn’t really matter if we play another sport. In soccer, we don’t wear the padding either, and while the game isn’t as physical as football there are some players in the World Cup who would love nothing more then to give an opponent a career ending injury. But it doesn’t have to be a deliberate action. The play that killed Tadeo was a bit of freak play as he was hit by two members of the Newmanistan Rockets defense, who did nothing dirty. What would happen if, for example, a member of the Bears Armed team accidentally lost her footing and fell on a helpless opponent? Using a member of the Bear-Belles is the easiest example to make given the size and strength of their athletes, but it could just as easily be human-on-human contact. Soccer rosters can be very different sometimes, and because of that you can just as easily say that such a tragedy is inevitable in the World Cup as was said about Rennidan’s refusal to wear proper padding in World Bowl football. It’s something that you know could happen, but it is so rare, and as an athlete you are in such outstanding physical shape that you simply think there is no way it could happen to you, just like Darion Tadeo probably thought. CASE has announced that there will be a moment of silence prior to all matchday three qualifying games played in Cassadaigua in honor of Tadeo. He was like all of us, whether you are a man, woman, elf, ursine, or monk and the moment of silence will be in recognition of the tragedy, though rare, that can indeed happen in sport. I haven’t heard yet if the Football Federation of Babbage will also do the same.

Having said all that, it can be difficult now to transition this blog entry back to soccer, but I will do my best to do so. The form we are in right now is really unbelievable, but the first thing I told everyone after the game is that we can not let this get to our heads. The 5-0 victory over Bostopia allows us to advance to the round of sixteen, which is something that we were not able to do four year ago, so it is no small achievement. All of you have been wonderful and we cannot let you down! Some might think we can let up against Mantwenic, but we will do nothing different because we do not want to introduce bad habits into the way we are doing things right now, especially with us playing as well as we are presently.

[Valanora]

Valanora Times
Just When You Think You're Gone

After months of nationwide issues with broadcasting equipment, at last a solution has been found and Vanorians will once again be able to watch the Marauders take on the best in the World in World Cup 54. After a rather weird but smooth qualification run, where the squad lost not a single match, and made it into the Finals with relative ease. The draw would not be seen favorably in some parts of Valanora, as two teams with a checkered past were drawn with the Marauders, and a third side that was no pushover either. Even with a perceived poor draw, the side was still quite confident of its chances of advancing and winning the group to avoid a tough round of sixteen fixture, a la Cassadaigua the edition they won the Cup.

Opening the group stage with Sarzonia was never going to be an easy venture, with the quality the Stars possess and the irrational hatred they have for our people. A draw was obviously the result no one desired but with the furious attitude that the Stars played with, a point from the opening fixture was a point earned and not two dropped. Why Sarzonia and its people have a hatred for Vanorians is beyond us, as any rational attempt to discover the reason for the hatred leaves those searching for the answer or answers empty handed. Whatever is the reason behind their hatred, it empowers them to do things that otherwise would not be within their abilities to do so.

The match with Newmanistan proved again why Laborioous Hawk is considered by many to be the greatest footballer in the World right now, as he time and time again carved through the Newmanistan defense like a hot knife through butter. Even when the Rockets had pulled a goal back and were playing as if an equalizer was within their grasp, the midfielder was still dominating the game. Eventually a third goal came and the Rockets hopes for splitting the spoils wee dashed, with Fresco doing what every Vanorian has come to expect from him, grabbing the critical goal with a minimum of fuss. That Hawk is considered the best footballer in the world is a token to his efforts and perseverance to become and maintain being the best, but also comes in large parts due to the collection of exceptional footballers that he plays with both on international duty and with his club. va Drake, Soldarian, Fresco, all names that are known world around, and yet at the end of the day, they step aside and let Hawk take the glory of the Marauders success. Perhaps that is the key to the domination the Marauders have had over the last thirty years, a cohesion that such great players need not have the credit they so richly deserve.

Up last is Delaclava who needs a victory to have a chance at advancing to the second round. Delaclava is an up and coming side to the footballing community, there is no doubt about it, and they will not be an easy out should they advance. The Marauders will have to make sure that they rely on their experience and plethora of skill in the midfield if they are to continue their dominating tradition of always advancing to the second round. Tough games are where heroes are made, Finals are where legends are born. If the manager can remind the players of this simple motto, that glorious tradition the Marauders have will continue on for another fixture.

[Alasdair I Frosticus]

"Mr Tzimisces! Mr Tzimisces!!"

"Yes?"

"Congrats on the victory over Kulverint, sir. That's quite the squad you have there."

"Thank you - but is there a point to this, or are you HEFA people just interrupting me for the hell of it these days? And I'll remind you that it is, after all, a squad you forced me to use. So I think I should take the credit as much as the squad if I do manage to get some results out of this fiasco."

"Of course sir, it's just that..."

"C'mon. Out with it lad..."

"It's that little ursine girl from Bears Armed, you know, Hirrdhra o Trueheart. She's here to meet you... If you have a moment, of course."

"Oh, that. I'd be delighted. Without her, I doubt I'd even have a central midfield. Show her in."

"MR TZIMISCES!!!!!"

"Call me Juan, love."

"Oh... I can't do that. My mama-bear and daddo wouldn't like that and they told me to be ever so polite because you're a legend even with ursines and you're my favourite human football player of all time so much better than that overrated Simeone Di Bradini and you've won a World Cup as a player and a coach and even played all the way back in World Cup One and I'm just so very very very excited and..."

"Slow down, love! You're talking without any punctuation! It's getting very hard to follow you!"

"Sorry Mr Tzimisces its just that I wanted to thank you in person for the World Cup tickets and me and my parents are coming to all of your games and you're our favourite team (except for Bears Armed of course) and I'm so happy you've already qualified for the next round and...."

"Well thank you. You can tell your parents that I think you're a very well-behaved little girl. And I'd like to thank you in turn. Your idea of a team of cave bears was a very good one, and you even came up with my best midfielder."

"You mean Uhroom-Uhroom?"

"Oh yes. Say. Would you like to meet her?"

"REALLY??? MEET UHROOM-UHROOM?"

"Of course. She's just over here. Say... Big Bear - you have a moment?"

"Yes, coach one. Can me help?"

"This is Hirrdhra o Trueheart - she's the reason you're on the team."

"Thank you True Heart girl. You not just True Heart, you big heart. Me like to play rock ball for big dream place. Is as much fun as my friend Ug-Ug said it would be. This is big good fun; not as much fun as hunt for sweet, sweet bee juice, but still good fun. So thank you!"

"<...>"

"You not say things?"

"Don't know what the problem is; she couldn't stop talking a minute ago!"

"She just shy. She still good girl. Say, what say me give her Dream Team shirt?"

"Oh, I'm sure we can manage that. Would you like a Holy Empire shirt, Hirrdhra?"

"yes please"

"See. She just shy. Here, you take my Dream Team shirt, girl. I sign it for you with big paw print."

"Sorry, love - that's all we have time for. But thanks for coming, thanks for giving me my best player - and I hope you enjoy the Nethertopia match!"

"Thank you Mr Tzimisces sir. Oh my Seven Holy Helpers.... A Holy Empire kit with a Uhroom-Uhroom paw print. I think I'm just going to DIE.... I'm SOOOOOOO excited!!!!!!!"

[Kelssek]

Davís seethed as he sat in the council house. For once, the airy hall held up by the massive boughs of trees, hung with ancient banners, failed to move him. The news of the summons to appear before the Council of Elders had struck him like a stab with a knife. It was all the small-mindedness he detested - bigotry, even - made manifest. Durna Halldanórar had indeed objected, officially, to the scheme.

"...how can we allow this? For our own kin to represent those who ravaged our home two hundred summers past? This would be an unbearable shame! We are handing the humans the conquest they have tried for so long to seize! Step by step we have been giving away our sovereignty, in acts of mere appeasement. That cannot last and it must end. Either we will end it, or they will. They think they can just claim us, like a trophy! This generation fails to understand how hard we had to fight. The ones we lost then were always in the Blessed Isles for them. And for too long we have glossed over the truth, trying to convince ourselves the humans have changed. Enough of that. We might not be enemies now... but the shame upon us if we give them this conquest! For the sake of their memories, let us not represent their murderers!"

"What a rambling incoherent cunt," Davís's father muttered in his ear, but Davís was in no need of encouragement.

"The world has moved on from those dark days! And we must move on from them too! We... no, you! You overstate our people so grandly. Yes, we are proud and we have every right to be proud of who we are, but so we also must recognise that we are but specks of dust. We are but drops of water in a vast ocean of peoples, nations, empires. There is so much beyond. If we do as you say, we will limit ourselves to a small realm in which we are masters, in order to delude ourselves into believing in our greatness. In that vain delusion, we will cut ourselves off from growing and knowing. We shall have set a bar we have already surpassed and be smugly satisfied with what we have accomplished, when in truth we have done nothing but set our aims low."

"But it is not about achievement and ambition. It is not about growth and conquest, seizing more for ourselves and lording over others. No, that is not what I mean. True power comes from knowing, from accepting, from understanding. True riches are not what you have, but what you are, what you have done, and what you can do. So, honoured elder, this is why I say now that I am thankful that there are other wise ones upon this Council who understand this."

It was all Durna could do to stop his face turning a bright red. Never had a youth, or indeed anyone, spoken up against him so passionately in a long time. That alone would not have been much of a shock, however. What stunned him was that from the mood in the room that told him almost everyone, including his fellow councillors, silently agreed with Davís. Later, as he sat in the common house nursing a glass of wine, one of his old friends would tell him the awful truth, that the whole time he had thought none contradicted him because they agreed with him, in fact, was because he was disagreed with so fundamentally they saw no point in arguing.

While none would have admitted it, even without the impassioned arguments on the floor the Council's decision was a foregone conclusion. Durna's objections were quashed and more than a few in the community were quietly glad the pompous fool had been taken down a peg.

[Bears Armed]

And so the team from the Sorthern Northland came out there onto the field knowing that they hrreally had to beat our girls if they were to have any ‘reasonable’ chance of progressing onwards into this Cup’s next stage and that, although indeed they had beaten the Belles at their last meeting two years previously, winning again this time around was going to be far from an easy task: Indeed, one of their own newspapers had — despite the fact that Kelssek is officially ranked quite a bit higher than Bears Armed, in fact only two places below the Sorth-Norths themselves — described this then-forthcoming meeting as “arguably their hardest group match”, even after their shock defeat by relative newcomers (and the group’s fourth seed... ) Khytenna on the tournament’s first day!
However they went away disappointed, courtesy of a brace of powerful drives from the paw of Belles’ captain Urrsa SunBlesséd that sandwiched a successful — and verrry skilful — penalty shot by young Cierra o Vorross. The Sorth-Norths’ own appeal for a penalty later on, on the grounds that SunBlesséd’s second goal had seriously injured their goalie Connolly’s pet chicken was denied by the referee who commented after the game had finished that although there apparently wasn’t an actual rule against keeping chickens in goal (“presumably because nobody else has been daft enough to try it before this”) she personally considered doing so to be just asking for trouble…

Urradarra o SwanWater put the newspaper down, and addressed Marra SunDaughter in a rather worried tone:

“Doctor ‘vuz’ Steiffen does say that Cierra should be hokay pretty soon, hrright? After the way she limped off of the pitch following that goal, I’ve been a bit worried… ‘Wolves take Ó Lorcáin!’, for such a rough tackle!”

“Urrh! A bit strong, that: The lad smelled genuinely sorry hrright afterwards, even before the referee showed him a red card. Accidents do happen, after all, and I’m sure that the Sorth-Norths didn’t want to risk this match escalating to on-pitch brawling on the sort of scale athat marred our pre-qualifiers friendly against them any more than we did…”

“Hr’mm, maybeso; hwell, maybeso. It’s just that the girl reminds me of my own daughter Beorranna at — I was going to say ‘the same age’, but that isn’t quite right — a few years younger. Always running around and full of enthusiasm, although in her case it was with the militia cadets rather than for football.”

“Ayyuh, and how has Beorranna been lately? Had any more letters from her since the one that you told me about just after the end of the ‘Interzonal’ contest?”

“Her latest arrived yesterday morning, in fact, so maybe that’s why I was thinking of her when the game began. She’s fine, and thinks that a promotion to Captain could actually be in the works fairly soon as recognition of the leadership that she showed when those senior officers’ aircraft accident left her temporarily in charge of about half a column during the campaign to help defend North Atlantika against the ‘Federal International Federation’ last spring.”

“Hwell, congratulations!
“Uggh, the FIF, that’s a nasty lot! I mean, maybeso most of their founders hrreally meant well — even if uncle Arran did say that the ones he’d observed while running security for our mission at the Assembly their federation eventually grew out of seemed to be just about as ‘friendly’ and ‘rational’ as a bunch of woozzles who’ve just scented blood — but how their ‘Great Project’ has developed since then… Hwell! Everybody given what the government’s “experts” say is exactly their fair share of stuff, while those same people’s policies continue weakening their lands’ economies so that there’s less and less stuff actually there to go around — although the “experts” themselves and their political masters never seem to go short, because apparently something in their constitution lets them claim maintaining themselves in a condition to govern ‘properly’ constitutes a legally valid “compelling practical purpose” for an exemption for them from that aspect of the same equality laws that they force on all their subjects — and so they have to keep expanding their oh-so-‘benign’ rule in order to bring in new resources from other nations that haven’t been spoilt yet… And then they claim that the “enlightened” administration they are bringing makes over-riding the wishes of those other nations’ peoples to keep the governments they’d previously chosen for themselves morally justifiable!
“Urrgah! It’s rather fortunate for the rest of us those same policies haven’t let them maintain very good armed forces for their overall size, compared to a lot of the ‘National Sovereigntist’ powers, so their choice of targets is limited and intervention against them is pretty easy… even if their commanders in the field often end up resorting to ‘human wave’ attacks, because they’ve got more humans to spare — and they are an all-Human empire, for one reason or another, you note — than anything else... It’s a hrrreal pity that we can’t muster enough strength go in and liberate their actual heartlands, but then on the other paw the people in those have been listening to the regime and believing its lies for so long that by now they probably think they need official consent for everything — even crapping, or even breathing! — and so re-educating them sufficiently for them to ever value true freedom properly and be able to run viable nations again would probably take decades…”

Marra pauses, rinses out her mouth, and then takes a lonnng drink.

“Wheew, I needed that, ranting makes me thirsty…”
“Anyhows, back to more pleasant matters: Yes, Cierra’s calf-muscles were only bruised and Doc Mitzi is certain that she’ll be fine as long as she doesn’t overdo things. Gerrthra will supervise exercises during her recovery, of course, and (also according to the Doc…) our ‘White Lightning’ is fully over the bug that had been making her dizzy so we’ll give her a couple of days evaluation during practice and if all’s well then it’s a case of ‘Midfield Left: #6’ again ready for our match against Khytenna next weekend.”

________________________________________________________________

OOC Footnote: Okay, yes, you’re right, Marra’s description of the ‘Federal International Federation’ is basically my opinion of the ‘IntFed’ movement within the WA. However bearing in mind the policies currently (in 2011) tending to be favoured by the more active ‘IntFed’ nations, I consider this description — reminiscent though David Weber’s fans might find it of the ‘People’s Republic of Haven’ — a plausible enough view of how they might develop over the forty or so years that have passed since 2011 as far as the Bears’ timeline for international football is concerned…

^_^

"Oh... I can't do that. My mama-bear and daddo wouldn't like that and they told me to be ever so polite because you're a legend even with ursines and you're my favourite human football player of all time so much better than that overrated Simeone Di Bradini and you've won a World Cup as a player and a coach and even played all the way back in World Cup One and I'm just so very very very excited and..."

OOC: Either Hirrdhra is being especially polite, or graetful for the tickets I suppose, or she's caught up in the moment... It's really Ug-Ug who's her favourite human football player.
(No, to an Ursine the differences between Neandertal and 'modern' Human aren't important enough to exclude Ug-Ug from the "Human" category...)

^_^

[Kagdazka and Pazhujebu]

Mahathu's Number One English Language Daily

World Cup Special Edition



Whites Erase Two Goal Deficit to Win and Knock Out Federation

Charhethukha Banechvinu - Though celebrations at a maiden World Cup finals victory had already begun in cities across Kagdazka and Pazhujebu by half time, a determined Pocoan side stormed back with furious tenacity to net three second half goals and capture three points on Matchday Two of Group G play. Baba Yaga looked pained as her team wilted under the pressure of the Whites' attack, and though her team will be proud of themselves for making the contest an even affair, they will be disappointed at the final result, which sees them eliminated from the World Cup after two losses.

The first half hour was a cautious affair, with both sides lacking any enthusiasm for positive football. Fans had begun to get restless, but in the end Chaya Vuhumkara found a way to use a bit of hold-up play (not something he is usually known for) to bring teammates into the play and his layoff to Nikolic allowed the Gimnasia midfielder to unleash a twenty-yard blast with the outside of his foot. Traore had no chance to save the thunderbolt shot and it was one nil to the Federation in the thirty-first minute, and jubilation exploded from every bar, household, and public square in Kagdazka and Pazhujebu.

One might have expected the occasionally cautious manager Baba Yaga to marshall the troops in defense, but instead she encouraged them to surge forward to grab another. Queer Poco el Mono Ara were up against the ropes and when Chaya Vuhumkara collected an optimistic long ball from Radic near the Pocoans' left corner flag, he managed to nutmeg Gibson and charge down the end line. A cunning cut-back, then another, and then another, found the newly-transferred Zhevassi striker upon the Whites' near post. The angle was so tight that when he took the left-footed shot, he surely had no chance to score, but somehow the power of the shot was enough to catch Traore off-guard and the Urchins took a two-nil lead.

Again Kagdazka and Pazhujebu pressed for another goal. A slashing thirty-sixth-minute tackle by Vegas was the only thing that prevented Ghur from dribbling into the box where two Urchins strikers were wide open, and the Pythons dentre half was deservedly cautioned. A lovely Oujadda curler was pushed over the bar in the thirty-ninth minute. saving the Pocoans from a three goal deficit. Aquillius Razava put a headed cross into a dangerous area in the forty-first minute and Vuhumkara was tantalizingly close to tapping the ball in, but ultimately it was a foot too far away from him.

The tone changed when Shapiro (apparently deliberately) stepped on Oujadda's foot to send her tumbling onto the Brattleboro Stadium grass. A minor scrap began between the two sides, but in the end the dispute was settled with a yellow card for the Augustus left winger. It wasn't enough for Aquillius Razava, however, as he threw in a very heavy tackle on Shapiro a minute later and was booked himself. It looked as though the second half was going to be a scrappy affair as the first forty-five minutes came to a close.

But whatever manager Mark Sloan said to his side at half time, it focused them not on retaliatory or disruptive tackling, but on carving holes in the Federation's defense. The possession arrow swung rapidly in favor of the Pocoans as they rushed forward to close the gap. They missed a few golden chances to equalize in the fifty-first and fifty-fifth minutes by clobbering shots over the bar. But they finally placed themselves on the scorer's sheet in the sixty-third minute by winning a free kick on the edge of the box and letting Shapiro curl a ball around the wall to best Ichuvihaja.

Again a call went in their favor when Queer Poco el Mono Ara snatched the equalizer. Kandakram managed to slip by Spiridonov at the edge of the penalty area and he seemingly would have beaten Mizirov with a clever chipped ball to his right, but the former Yastrabi and Vulkan (now A.F.F.) centre half instinctively but foolishly stuck out a hand. He saw yellow and watched in shame as the Skyte striker crushed the subsequent penalty into the upper left corner of the net. It was two all.

Fans back in Kagdazka and Pazhujebu watched in dismay as their side continued to show its inferiority. Even though Baba Yaga made a positive change in the seventy-third minute by sitting Radic in favor of Semënov and experimenting with a 3-6-1 formation, the Whites' substitutions were more sagacious. Muhl and Mendez's rested legs sent Urchins defenders scrambling time and time again and it only seemed a matter of time before the Pocoans grabbed all three points.

But as the clock rounded the ninety minute mark, it seemed possible that Kagdazka and Pazhujebu could somehow hold on for its first-ever World Cup finals point. The Federation had managed to win two subsequent corner kicks and were running down the clock with some degree of success. But Sloan threw on his evident ace in the hole, right winger Aydin Sukur, and just seconds after entering the youngster tore into a seam and received a precise through ball from Layfield. In a game characterized by tactical awareness, there was nothing brainy about his goal; all pace. He simply ran right past Bhara (who is known as a pace merchant herself) and shot across the face of goal to beat Ichuvihaja for the winner.

It was a brilliantly exciting match, one that neutrals surely watched on the edge of their seats. But it is a gut check for Kagdazka and Pazhujebu, who are now eliminated from the World Cup. They will undoubtedly learn from this and take the experience into future World Cups, but at the moment they can surely feel nothing but heartbreak.

KAGDAZKA AND PAZHUJEBU

QUEER POCO EL MONO ARA

GK Ichuvihaja

GK Traore

DF Chahachim

DF Gibson

DF Bhara

DF Rudolpho

DF Mizirov

DF Vegas

DF Radic

DF Le Paglia

MF Spiridonov

MF Layfield

MF Razava

MF Anderson

MF Nikolic

MF Shapiro

MF Ghur

MF Bowyer

ST Oujadda

ST Kandakram

ST Vuhumkara

ST Dosenna

SUBSTITUTIONS

SUBSTITUTIONS

73’ MF Semenov enters for DF Radic

71’ MF Muhl enters for MF Shapiro

85’ ST Zedafski enters for MF Nikolic

75’ ST Mendez enters for MF Bowyer

85’ ST Shcherbina enters for ST Vuhumkara

91’ MF Sukur enters for MF Anderson

GOALS
Nikolic (KPZ) 31’
Vuhumkara (KPZ) 34’
Shapiro (QPM) 63’
Kandakram (QPM) 69’ (penalty)
Sukur (QPM) 91’

CAUTIONS
Vegas (QPM) 36’
Shapiro (QPM) 42’
Razava (KPZ) 43’
Mizirov (KPZ) 69’

EXPULSIONS

Players React to Group Stage Exit

Qichechumadia Zhabi - The post-game press conference had a somewhat funereal feel as the exhausted Federation team discussed their defeat. None were tearful, but some seemed annoyed and frustrated at having lost the match after being so tantalizingly close in the first half.

"It makes me angry, yes," said centre half Aqhorassia Bhara bitterly. "To spend so much time in training working on my pace, to think of myself as a player who succeeds on the back of sprinting ability... and to get beaten. I'm pissed. Mostly at myself, because I've disappointed myself. But there you go, Sukur is known for speed and now everybody knows why. Nothing I could do, I had the pedal on the floor and I still couldn't catch him."

Zubeida Ichuvihaja was unmoved, as she usually is. "Nothing I could do about any of those goals, you know. Two of them on set pieces and one on a breakaway. You have to give it to the Pocoan' manager, I mean that was a brilliant substitution right there at the end to bring on the player who'd score the winner. I only wish that we could have put away a couple of those chances late in the first half; the match might have ended differently."

The captain for the tournament, Šušan'ikara Ghur, must surely feel that he has seen all of this before, as the Pazhujeb Islands team he captained in the 40th World Cup finals was eliminated in the group stage after three losses. "Yeah, it's a disappointment, to know you're out after just two games. But there's still Krytenia. There's still Krytenia. We're still a proud group of men and women, and we still want to earn our first World Cup point." When asked how he felt about locking horns with Hakan Mendez, who will be flying back with him to Juvapanam to play for the club that are set to defend the KPFA League First Division title, he said, "I certainly was thrilled to meet him and shake his hand. Gauging by the form he showed in this game, we'll be lucky to have him at Juvapanam. It's just a shame that my national team was the victim of his strong play on this occasion."

'Cyan Versus Purple' Adds Drama to Otherwise Meaningless Fixture

Issu Dakeh - The Aces of Krytenia have surprised many at the World Cup finals by storming past first Queer Poco el Mono Ara and then Dorian and Sonya. Those victories have sealed progression to the knockouts for the Krytenians, but is this the year they finally win a World Cup? The cyan-clad side are commonly referred to as the greatest footballing nation to never win the sport's greatest trophy. If they are to do it, however, they will first have to appear for their remaining Group G fixture against no other than the Purple Sea Urchins of Kagdazka and Pazhujebu.

The word coming out of the Krytenian camp is that they will be well and truly up for the match simply on account of the purple that the Federation's national team is, on occasion, known for wearing. Presumably the Aces' irritation for the color is grown from their notorious rivalry with five-time World Cup champions Starblaydia, but as far as we at the Herald are concerned, this irritation is rather akin to Sarzonia's self-proclaimed dislike for Valanora, insofar as it makes no sense whatsoever. Undoubtedly Krytenia will be confused by the fact that their opposition for the Matchday Three contest will be wearing their white and wisteria strip, and not their purple and black one.

Baba Yaga's side will at last benefit from the return of Innokentiy Vaskaryev, who will re-enter the defense at left back and hopefully add an extra bit of spark to the Federation's counter-attacks with his blistering pace. Aquillius Razava's mixed-bag performances over the course of the finals are evidently the justification for his return to the bench, which will free up a spot in the lineup for the Urnabhi left back.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                                       Ichuvihaja

    Chahachim           Radic            Bhara            Mizirov            Vaskaryev

                                       Spiridonov
           Oujadda                                                    Nikolic
                                          Ghur

                                       Vuhumkara

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The colors of the top and bottom bars in the above diagram represent the colors that Kagdazka and Pazhujebu will wear in the upcoming match vs. Krytenia, in this case, wisteria and white.

[Aguazul]

Sleep had been fitful when it had come at all, and when he was awake, there seemed to be much more he needed to do than there should have been. "No," he'd said, "I do not need or want you to ghostwrite my autobiography. Who'd read the thing?"

"Uh...there's probably a market somewhere, in Queer Poco el Mono Ara or whatever..."

Unable to retort to that, he paused a moment before noting, "I might be old, but I'm not a ghost."

"That's not what...whatever. Maybe some interview, let people know what your life is like?"

"Boring. I spend most of my time talking to people who aren't there." After an awkward pause, he rolled his eyes and continued. "On cell phones like this one. Come on."

That had been the end of that.

And there was a little more, that he wasn't sure how to explain, the time he spent rooting. It was silly, he knew, the thought that there was only so much rooting he could do and he'd better spend it well; it was not even rooting in the sports sense so much as...he didn't know.

Speaking of the sports sense; oh, good. The national team. He didn't feel up to traveling to the One Big Island, but the television was clear enough that he'd have a good view of the match. Qazox...he closed his eyes, they meant something...yes, the first national team he'd managed against. They'd lost.

But Aguazul were a team of their own, and he was too old for revenge. Asdrubal Espinoza turned on the television, and the game began.

*

Qazox seemed lethargic somehow, though they were clearly pushing themselves from the opening whistle. He felt on top of the game, in control; he'd never been quite so surprised by his own vision as he had against the Mystical Unicorns, but that didn't mean he'd regressed. Maybe he was just used to it now, excelling without thought.

He didn't remember not seeing his teammates, or was it just seeing them not open? It wasn't a question of seeing emptiness so much as exhausting all other possibilities and dribbling forward alone, past Maplewood, to score.

Six minutes later, he noticed the opportunity a second before Gunsedal did. By then, he'd learned enough to assume Gunsedal would notice in his own way and drop back, trying to draw the defense away. The first few games had been harder, as he'd try to make sense of the fact that nobody seemed to see the game like he did. But, he'd accepted, they didn't need to. Gunsedal, if nothing else, was too out of it to be affected by what might make Gerardo uncomfortable. He didn't need to channel any talents beyond anything beyond the game as he'd always known it. If he didn't notice the shot, so what, they were winning with almost eighty minutes to go. Otherwise, he was gifted enough to score on his own, and that was what he did.

Five minutes passed. It was Vincente glancing over his shoulder, then, pulling away, trying to stay onsides. Gunsedal seemed to ignore him, angling forward as if at random, then at once blasting the shot. Not as long as that pose, left leg ground into the pitch, right jolting skyward, made it look, still it careened away from him and into the net. By then they were up by three and his smile was, rather than the carefree grin of five minutes prior, a laugh.

Qazox were retreating by then, over the next four minutes, uncertain, but they didn't look any steadier by the twentieth minute of play. And when the goal came, that a simpler punch from inside the box, he seemed for a moment unsure how to react. It was too simple a thing to celebrate too long, except that it was the finals and he'd just scored his third goal in nine minutes and it was Gunsedal, nobody really could stop him if they'd wanted to. Gunsedal was not one to make hard tasks looked easy. He was one to do easy tasks, or at least ones that came easy for him. The path of least resistance led quite a long way if your strides were large enough.

*

Espinoza blinked. Not awake, but it felt like it was. Winning by three was splendid. Winning by four was something else, and he was afraid he'd missed...it, missed something. But no. There it was, they led by four, and there was a lot more time still to go. He settled in, suddenly curious how much of a mismatch a finals game could be.

*

It was Juan Esteban who assisted on Vincente's goal, and somehow that didn't come as a surprise. At least, nobody really expected Gunsedal to be recording any more assists. But as the glum defense shadowed him, as if hoping to minimize the number of record books the match threatened, Juan Esteban drove forward, firing off a pass that Vincente headed in. And they were up by five. Gerardo grinned; that had to be what people meant when they talked about how he should feel proud to lead his national team. Not that anyone could expect a match like that, but just because Aguazul were just one team didn't mean they couldn't be an excellent one.

Halftime came. There was little to say, no fear even of speaking to break any momentum that they had. Even without momentum, consensus was, they'd be fine.

Neither Vincente nor Gunsedal seemed to realize why Sortani might be substituting them off, Gerardo thought; both of them, if pressed, would say something about wanting to rest up for future matches. And, he realized with a glance at Sortani, they might even have been right.

Pedro flicked a pass to Sosimo, who scored, and the goal was almost a surprise; after the thunderous first half, the second had been a cool, easy display without any scoreboard action. But that was what Sosimo needed, thought Gerardo, somewhere to play when they didn't actually need him to come through. Give him long enough, and he'd eventually score anyway.

And then Rubén, seeming too at ease. They weren't sure where or if he'd fit in down the road; if the whispers were to be believed, Aguazul's CCFM contingent would shortly grow, and perhaps his omission wouldn't seem strange. Nevertheless, at least for that day, he took his turn adding to the barrage.

Cafundéu waited, but that wouldn't matter. Perhaps Sortani would even rest him; they'd clinched, and they didn't need to face Dorian and Sonya again. That was a problem for another day. For then, Gerardo was more than happy to celebrate their place in history.

*

And then the phone rang. He squinted, holding the caller ID close to his face. Could it be...?

"Hello?" he said, in his quiet English.

"Hi. Did you see that game?"

"Yes," Espinoza smiled. "Not Greater Cotswalds, but that was very good."

"Yeah. Um. So...we did it, everything came in today, and we're going to open our doors soon."

Espinoza grinned broadly. "Congratulations!"

"Thanks. Yeah, this is excellent. Were...were you pulling some strings? Because I don't know how else we could have pulled it off."

"You don't seem the type to give up too quickly."

"Well, yeah. But things looked pretty hard."

"I have an advantage, though. I've seen so many weird things work out, that I don't give up very often."

"Fair enough. Well, listen, thank you very much."

"You're welcome."

He hung up, feeling proud, and then, too, exhilarated. They'd won, Aguazul, seven to zero. For all the rooting, for all the fear, he was, in the end, a fan. There were worse things to be.

Espinoza closed his eyes and fell asleep.

[Queer Poco el Mono Ara]

Last Gasp Winner Earns Whites Vital 3 Points.

Aydin Sukur. We said he was fast. Nobody took us seriously. Now look, the Belle-Isle on Sea winger has gone and shown the World just how quick he was with a late dash and goal to win the game against Kagdazka and Pazhujebu.

The Whites redeem themselves after the 4-1 hammering at the hands of Krytenia with narrow 3-2 win over Kagdazka and Pazhujebu to give themselves the slimmest of World Cup lifelines. This lifeline is laughably dependant on The Whites ability to beat reigning World champions Dorian and Sonya.

The vital win was hard fought with the Whites coming back from 2-0 behind in the first half. With every Pocoan watching wherever they were on the verge of an aneurism after 45 minutes they must have been breathless after the 27 minute period that saved their World Cup.

At one point in the first half with the Whites taking a battering it looked like bad temperedness was going to overcome them and rescuing the game was just a pipe dream when Mercutio Vegas hacked Ghur down after 36 minutes. This was followed by an allegedly deliberate stamp on Oujadda by Nakiti Shapiro. National team coach Mark Sloan claimed to have not seen it.

The fairytale win may now however prove to have been in vain as The Whites face Dorian and Sonya in their final fixture.

-----

“Jackson James, Cyril Petit, Ash Bakht, Jeremy Dixon, Boaz Gera.” Van Gaal began reeling off the names of Una Serie chairmen as Starbuck stopped the hammer in mid-air.

“They’re all involved?” Asked Power who still had his back to van Gaal, restraining him.

“Involved? Bakht started the whole thing. How do you think Augustus won so many Trofeo Royals?”

“Thanks Mr. Van Gaal.” Power said as he shoved himself up off from the Almondvale chairman’s lap. “That’s all we needed to hear.”

Suddenly Mrs. Van Gaal was in the doorway, her face was red and she looked flustered, she had clearly just ran from somewhere in the house and was panting heavily, trying to catch her breath. She hadn’t exerted herself like that in some years and running from one room to this one while in a state of panic.

“The police are on their way!” she announced to a frightened Mr. Van Gaal and an amused Starbuck and Power. The two laughed before reaching inside their jackets, the motion provoked a jump from Mrs. Van Gaal who dove for cover behind the door assuming the two were reaching for guns. They found this hilarious and didn’t hold back, laughing booming laughs that echoed round the room before producing their badges.

“We are the police.”

Van Gaal’s face changed from one of panic to absolute hatred, he glared at the pair, burning holes through them with his gaze. “You mother fuckers lied to me. You’ll never get any of this to stick you know.”

“You’d be surprised what we can do.”

“I’m pressing charges against you two.”

“You’ll never get any of this to stick.” Laughed Starbuck before lighting a cigarette. “We’ll show ourselves out.”

His impudence enraged van Gaal, he hadn’t suffered this kind of treatment before, being so exceptionally wealthy things just seemed to go his way. Marching behind the pair he unleashed a tirade of foul language and verbal assaults, bashing their integrity, their personality and at some point their mothers. Arriving at the main door he picked up an umbrella from a rack beside the door and began waving it angrily, bashing the door frame before finally launching it at Power who dodged the missile before laughing once again.

Climbing into Starbuck’s car they looked at each other, a sense of accomplishment.

“So we know who we’re after now then.”

[Dorian and Sonya]

The Island Scrolls

If one thing can be said to bother the Mystical Unicorn, it is sides that have the ability to set a torrid pace and keep it up for ninety minutes. The Unicorns are much better in matches where their opponents lose that pace in the second half. That spells what should be great news for the Unicorns as the starting eleven from Queer Poco el Mono Ara is not blessed with blinding speed with the exception of a very few players, Most pundits here at home believe that squad would be better served in their match against us by playing several of their reserves who do have the ability to create that kind of pace.

That being said, we do expect that this will be a very tough match indeed as Gilbert Batistuta and Vijay Kandakram are very capable scorers in their own rights even though Aydin Sukur seems to be getting all the love from their fans from the last match vs. K&P.

Where we are really concerned is at striker where J’hys Ickaeth is in a major slump. It will be Rigobert Webo whom she must get past to break her slump. The left back from QPeMA is fast and strong, just the type of player she has struggled against as of late. Hopefully Ickaeth can return to her usual form and get back into the scoring column.

Maelwen Maridilyon announced today that reserve forward Alura Sabre has not been injured but has rather been fighting fatigue in her first outing on this stage. Alura should get her chance to shine against QPeMA but it will be tough as she prefers to attack through the middle. A middle that is manned by the huge Jeffrey Onyewu, a very talented defender who dwarfs our own Elven squad.

All in all, this is a match we can and should be expected to win. Now we just have to prove that fact on the pitch.