World Cup 58 RP Thread

[Yesopalitha]

From the Yesopalithan Sports Network, Facts and Opinions Only

YESOPALITHA 1, SATIVAVILLE 0

Yesopalitha built upon the impressive win over Mangolana by blanking out unranked Sativaville. Although it is true that the Flames haven't scored more than one goal per game all season, they improved their record to two wins two draws and three losses.

The goal today came from Nadya Dostoevich, who heded in a corner kick from Hilary Vander Rox. The defense was solid for most of the game as the Stoners weren't allowed to cross into the Flame half of the pitch very often.

The win leaves the Flames with one more game to go before the midpoint mark - against Cheergirls, a team that has been underperforming this season. Then, they will have a mid-qual break, followed by the second half, which will start once more with powerhouses Erathore and Mapletish.

Coach Hargrove commented, "We're starting to hit a groove, and I hope that we can keep the momentum going forward. I think our best football is still yet to come."

Added Fire the Elemental Demon, "Winning is fun, and I'm starting to get fond of it."

The taste of victory has left the Flames more hungry for it. They know that qualifying this season is probably out of reach, but representing the Unbidden Chosen of Zaiden while having fun? They won't have it any other way, trying their hardest and playing every game like it is a gift given to them by the gods.

It is true that their record is 2-2-3. However, they are not ashamed - instead, they look forward to improving daily.

This team really displays our nation's motto - Perseverentia Saeculorum, or Perseverance Without End.

Reporting from Freedom's Altar, Yesopalitha, this is the Yesopalithan Sports Network.

---

Jack Jones clapped three times when he returned to his hotel room, and Aether the Elemental Demon took him home. He was happy to have helped out the West Angolans, though he couldn't remember what he had actually said to them. He decided to keep a close eye on the situation there, and, after having decided that he had done all he could under the circumstances provided, he went to sleep after a long day.

[Bears Armed]

"Experimental all-red kit? No, we aren't going to be wearing an experimental all-red kit for our next qualifying match. Where on Earth did you get that idea from?"


"Because that colour does hwhat to Bettians?!? Are you seriously saying that you thought we would try cheating like that? Seriously?!?
"Listen to me mister 'Smith', if that hrreally is your actual name, I've never heard of the newspaper that you claim to represent -- and I've barely heard of the nation that you say you're from, for that matter -- but you evidently don't know much about us Ursines either. The whole idea is utterly ridiculous!"

(Urra slams the phone down into its rest.)

[The Babbage Islands]

Good news all round! A 3-1 road win for the Bumblebees, a firm offer extended to the next (we hope) Bumblebees manager, a new contract for Cathy Trillium at FFB, and the sack of several FFB governors by their clubs.

The less said of the whole boardroom affair in the Federation, the better. Suffice it to say that Cathy's back where she belongs, and Kirsten Woods of Belgium FC shows once again that she is the most influential executive in Babbage sport. How the attempt to sack Cathy got past the Woods duo in the first place is beyond me, but coups happen. Certainly Belgium management were quick off the mark on both the legal challenge and the boardroom countermoves, going so far as to retain Elisabeth Macleod Tormey to represent Trillium in the proceedings.

Nancy Svoboda extended her unbeaten streak to seven as manager in what we all hope will be a short but successful tour. The latest opponents were West Guiana, and they looked like the eighth-place side thanks to quick goals in the first twenty from Tristan St-Pierre and Glen Svoboda plus a late Dagrun penalty.

Only one match remains in the first half of qualifying, and our lead has doubled from one point to two. Make no mistake, any of Kagdazka and Pazhujebu, New Montreal States, and Western Cuba--come to think of it, add Lizland and Camwood as well--will be fighting for every point with a decent chance to get to at least a playoff. We're in for some exciting football. Let us just hope that it's not too exciting, if you catch my drift.

Smile!

[Khytenna]

Another shock defeat as Khytenna slump to 1-0 lose.

Khytenna: 0

Unibot: 1

??????

Khytenna lose 1-0 once again, this time to the hands of Unibot, Khytenna have dropped more places in group 4, putting their world cup place at stake.

Khytenna for the first half of the game played fantastic football, chances manly coming from crosses, but where still effective, Firestone had a handful of chances at goal, but just couldn't find the net, his best came in the 33rd minute, when he got past the defence for a one on one with the keeper, he made the chip, but the ball bounced of the post.

however, in the second half, Khytenna had slowed down, they lacked urgency, lack dynamic play and pace with the ball, in short, the lacked attacking play that makes them, well, Khytenna. Khytenna eventually had what was coming to them, when a under attack themselves in the 67th minute, they let in a howler of a goal, when an unmarked striker was left a massive gap in the box to manoeuvres, the cross sailed over to him, he had time to control it and power it past Troy to make it one nil, the home crowed where silenced, but did not boo at the end of the game, it was another horrid night in this so far horrid campaign.

Khytenna have brought players in the line up, hopefully to shake things up, Hay, Bowman,Dunstan, Rusek, Wittstock and Pellett join the line up that will face Crotunda, Khytenna needs a win before the friendlies to get their confidence back

GK 13. Leo Hay ( 21 Portside fc)
RB 3. james Ursua (31 Blue bay)
LB 23. Brian Bowman (21 Blue bay)
DC 18. Darron Dunstan (30 Persepi Sharks)
DC 15.Oliver Testerman ( 24 Dunboor FC, Cafundeu)(capt) )
RM. Casey Thorne (27 Central FC)
LM 11. James Wittstock(18 King’s District Athletic)
CM 8. Kurk Rusek (25 King’s District Athletic)
FW 9. Fergal Firestone (21 blue bay)
FW 10. Lini Pellett (21 Atlético Jutense, Cafundeu)
FW 20. Lyle Blaylock (22 Kings’s District Athletic))

[Ipeland]

It was a close game. It really should've ended in a draw, but everyone in the stand knew one team had to win. They knew it at the start, the middle, and at the end. Both teams obviously wanted to win. The home team, Ipeland, wanted to continue their good run of form which saw them in 4th place before the game. A 4-1 loss to Gyatso-kai last match, however, had placed doubts in the minds of the home fans. Octinstine were coming off a bye day, and were 7th in the group before the match. They are massively underperforming as the second seeded team, and their fans would be happy with a draw, but are hoping for a win

Octinstine came out early to run around and train. They also roused up the away fans in the packed ground. The Ipeland players came out a few minutes later, the coaching team quickly behind them. The referee checked his watch. He blew his whistle. The game kicked off. Immediately Ipeland showed that they had the advantage by almost scoring within the first five minutes. As the first half went on, Octinstine got further back into the game and possession became about even. Octinstine had a few half-chances, but their offense, but they didn't seem up to their usual standards. The referee closed a close first half after 1 minutes of injury time.

Octinstine kicked off the second half. Both teams' managers were obviously happy with their teams, as they made no changes to their line-ups. Stainag, the goalkeeper/manager, had some early work to do, as Jones and Fagan had a few long range shots that went close, but ultimately missed the goal. Ipeland also had their fair share of chances, their closest being comfortably saved by the Octinstine keeper. The main ball controllers were in the midfield, as tackles were flying in everywhere and yellow cards were aplenty. It was in added time that Ipeland scored the only goal of the game. Texan, fully recovered from his injury, unmarked in the box, tapped in from a corner.

[Western cuba]

Havana Tribute

The #1 Newspaper in Western Cuba

Western Cuba plays out for a Tie

Jorge Ramirez

While it wasn't a victory the Western Cuba side is satisfied by a draw against Lizland. Western Cuba struggled throughout the first half with the Lizland side starting off the first 15 minutes with two goals to their name. The defense had their problems during that time period with shot after shot being fired against Hector Diaz. Who we give kudos to for his great effort in the game. It's hard to believe during that time period only two goals were scored. If it wasn't for Hector this game could of been over easily.

The offense along with the defense also struggled through it wasn't just as noticeable due to the horrendous play by the defense. Only two shots were taken by the Western Cuban offense throughout the first half. Che Lopez and Edgardo Mendoza each got a shot throughout the first half. Lopez's shot went high above the goal though and Mendoza's went off the cross bar.

The second half was different for the Western Cuba side however who rebounded from the first half. The rest of the defense managed to get back together lead by Victor Santiago. Which is a surprise due to him only being on the starting lineup replacing Mario Rivera.

" Victor played amazing tonight and was impressive replacing Mario. ", comments Dante Rios. Starting Center Back for Western Cuba. " I saw the media questioning him before the game and I was like man their in for a surprise. I've known Victor for a while. He's been waiting for this for a while and he's now proved them wrong. " Mario Rivera returns to the squad tonight in their match up against New Montreal States but it's been rumored Victor Santiago will have decent playing time throughout the game.

Another surprise was Goyo Soto. Who's spot on this team has been to much debate and people are wondering that the only reason he's on the team is because he's the presidents nephew. Much of that debate was taken away tonight. Goyo the youngest member on this team next to Edgardo Mendoza came in at the 52' minute to replace Fausto Garcia in an injury substitution. Goyo would score in the 59' and 73' minutes to tie the game with Lizland. The tie brings Western Cuba's record in the qualifying stage to 4-2-1 as they close out the first half of qualifying tonight against New Montreal States. A win against them would be huge.

The game is once again being broadcast on CBS, and it's been recently announced that Goyo Soto will start in replacement for Fausto Garcia who's out for tonight from the concussion he suffered when playing last night.

[The Archregimancy]

The Diary of Fr. David of the Woods

While we cannot understand or touch the essence of God, it is true - as outlined by St. Gregory Palamas - that we may experience him through His energies.

Though temptation is undoubtedly sin, it is tempting to think of our last two matches in the light of this Palamite theology (see what I did there, Diary... that was a theological pun! 'Light of this Palamite theology', when St. Gregory taught us of how we might experience the uncreated light of Mount Tabor through the experience of hesychastic prayer... Laugh a minute, I am, aren't I?). First of all there was the crucial away win to Cafundeu, and this was followed by today's home win against Tirabia. Though there is much work yet to be done, truly the Lord has seen fit to leave us in a strong place as we approach the midpoint of qualification, and I am truly grateful.

And all due credit to the lads, who continue to train well, and have been most obedient when it comes to following my tactical plan.

But while my mind continually turns between football and prayer (not necessarily in that order), I have of late - especially when seeing how well Bostopia have been playing - been giving much thought to the recent pronouncement of the Holy Synod that every monk in the Archregimancy loves the Emperor Boston.

Is this indeed true?

Certainly one cannot deny the central role of love in Orthodox theology. Did not St. Paul write in Romans that "Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law. The commandments, “Do not commit adultery,” “Do not murder,” “Do not steal,” “Do not covet,” and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law"

It is perhaps true that, strictly speaking, the Emperor Boston is not my neighbour, but are not all nations of Ordinary Reality - in a sense - our neighbours?

I also have reason to recall the wise words of St. Maximus Confessor, who wrote But I say to you," the Lord says, "love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, pray for those who persecute you." Why did he command these things? So that he might free you from hatred, sadness, anger and grudges, and might grant you the greatest possession of all, perfect love, which is impossible to possess except by the one who loves all equally in imitation of God.

Thus, even though the Emperor Boston has declared that he hates us and our nation, it still behooves us to love him.

Some might look askance at this love being directed towards one who hates. But who am I to judge the Emperor Boston for his actions? Did not our Lord and Saviour himself say Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye. Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?

Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them.

Therefore I am forced to concur with the Holy Synod: we do indeed love the Emperor Boston, and one can but hope that should the Lord, in his infinite and unknowable wisdom see fit that both teams qualify, we have the opportunity to face the Bostopians in the World Cup finals.

[Jedi8246]

Theme
Fenris Sports Corner

"Good evening. I'm Logan Dale with your Fenris Sports Corner. Jedi8246 wins yet another game, 2-1. The game featured some bizarre injuries from the lower ranked Wight team. In good news, we bring you our detailed World Cup breakdown. Let us begin with Jedi8246's remaining schedule.

Match 9
Soviet Canuckistan @ Jedi8246
Match 10
Jedi8246 @ Kulverint
Match 11
Chetkosk @ Jedi8246
Match 12
ABK @ Jedi8246
Match 13
Jedi8246 @ Vergenskia
Match 14
Puerto Candelaria @ Jedi8246
Match 15
Bye
Match 16
Jedi8246 @ Branta Island
Match 17
Wight @ Jedi8246
Match 18
Jedi8246 @ Soviet Canuckistan


There you have it. An interesting schedule for sure. One we've had a bit of luck in. Let's bring a more detailed group breakdown.

---

Chetkosk
The #26 ranked team, they are a force to be reckoned with. They are a powerful team, known for a swift playing style. Having never failed to qualify for World Cup finals, Jedi8246 certainly has a match in them. Playing in the second match of the World Cup in Chetkosk, Jedi8246 slammed them with a 3-1 victory. Though some critics felt that Chetkosk wasn't playing their best game of soccer, others feel this shows that Jedi8246 was underestimated and actually is one of the best teams in the World Cup. We play them again in Match 11, this time at Jedi8246. It is expected to be a difficult game,but one Coach Hemlock feels he can emerge victorious from.

---

Kulverint
Kulverint is a well respected team within the World Cup. They are currently ranked #21, one of the highest teams in the league. They have a powerful game plan strategy. Currently tied with Jedi8246 in record with two points ahead, they are a fabulous team. In the first match of the World Cup, Jedi8246 played them to a tie at home. It was a tough game for both sides. Going into Kulverint, Jedi8246 will have to play their best game to hope to win. Hemlock hopes to etch out a win.

---

Puerto Candelaria
A little bit of a lesser team within the World Cup, ranked only #350. Coach Hemlock expects little hassle from them in the second match at home. At Puerto Candelaria, the Wyverns delivered a fair 2-1 victory. The home game is expected to be little of a challenge.

---

Soviet Canuckistan
Another weak link within Group 17. At the low rank of #257, they are not much of a challenge for the Jedi8246 squad. The upcoming game will be at home for Jedi8246. The final match of the season will be at Soviet Canuckistan, though not much is expected then either.

---

Vergenskia
New to the World Cup cycle, it was unexpected how they would perform. Jedi8246 proved to be the superior team in the home game showdown. Placing a strong 3-1 victory, Coach Hemlock expects another victory at Vergenskia. Another set of wins for the Wyverns.

---

Wight
A lower ranked team, at #223.Wight was a better match than some within the group, but Jedi8246 remained the superior squad in the recent game at Wight. The home game will be the final one of qualifying, hoping to be a fair victory for the Wyverns. Staffed by a bunch of undead players, they proved to be interesting foes.

---

ABK
Slightly lower ranked at #76, they are a fairly good team. Jedi8246 has seen this team in action before. The Wyverns were glad to get a chance to play against this well known team. Jedi8246's only loss thus far came from them at ABK. It was a narrow 2-1 victory for them. Coach Hemlock hopes to devise a winning strategy for their next game at Jedi8246.

---

Branta Island
Ranked at #116,Branta is on the higher side of the spectrum. Jedi8246 still proves to be a better team than the Islanders, delivering a 2-1 victory at home. Coach Hemlock feels he has a good strategy to play these guys away, in the last few games of the qualifier. Another expected win.

---

Expected Group Placement
1.JedI8246
2.Kulverint
3.Chetkosk
4.ABK
5.Wight
6.Branta Island
7.Soviet Canuckistan
8.Vergenskia
9.Puerto Candelaria

There you have it. Jedi8246 sports experts expect the Wyverns to finish first in the group for the first time ever. Based on Kulverint's loss to alowly team, they are showing some weakness. Weakness that Coach Hemlock feels will propel Jedi8246 to the top. Only time will tell. After the break, we bring you the beginning of the Lake Gilford Fishing Tournament.

[Alasdair I Frosticus]

It was, Juan Tzimisces admitted, a remarkable sight.

He had, over the many campaigns he'd been involved in, seen some unusual things - both in football and out. He paused briefly to remember some; the Battle of the Black gate; the reality cannon that had stopped the Mexica gods from tearing reality apart; the dread lords Flopsy, Mopsy and Cottontail; the time that the wily Zamboon McPherson had released the Shatterhand; Simeone in Starblaydia's past and future; the Glimmung and the Bridge of Skulls (at this memory, he shuddered imperceptibly; was it true that SBIS were letting some Mundy find the Glimmung? He was relieved that, for once, it wasn't his problem)...

And then he looked into the sky above the pitch where the Holy Empire were handily beating a confused and slightly befuddled Seunem.

On the field were a team of wooden puppets on strings, glossy painted in Imperial yellow and red, and operated by a team of puppeteers floating in their own miniature helium-filled dirigibles, using geese as directional power when - as was often the case - the wind wasn't blowing in the right direction.

The Sargossans - and, due to the lack of any pitches in Seunem, the match was taking place in the tiny, and half-empty, Estadio Municipal on the small Sargossan island of Loco - looked as baffled as the 'home' team.

In truth, Tzimisces had been hoping for more of a challenge. He suspected that the dirigible-based, geese-driven puppeteers and their marionettes hadn't actually been Seunem's personal choice; but HEFA hadn't heard an official word from them, and a letter from some self-proclaimed mundy deity had arrived on his desk, and it had sort of looked like a fun idea at the time....

Unfortunately, the opposing team were crap, and when Tzimisces thought they were crap, he thought they were really crap. But what did he expect? After all, they weren't a proper team - merely a group of players cobbled together from a sizable diaspora, their country lacking a domestic competition sufficient to provide even a single footballer of international quality or, more to the point, even a stadium deemed capable of holding qualifying matches. Which was why he was standing here in Sargossa watching geese-driven dirigibles.

The wind shifted suddenly. In the few moments of confusion brought about as the geese (and the puppeteers) readjusted to the conditions, the home goalkeeper Eirik Passante-Smallbone - temporarily unencumbered by the strange spirit bundles he wore around his neck - launched a long punt upfield. The ball bounced past the floundering wooden marionettes, and trickled across the Imperial goal line.

Ah well, Tzimisces thought to himself, he could live with 3-1. Simeone might have stayed at home in irritation at the nature of the team they were having to field, but the puppeteers had proven surprisingly skillful when the wind wasn't shifting. And besides, if he was remembering his group table correctly (and he knew he was), his squad's goal difference was now up to +25, and not a single other team in the group had a positive goal difference.

Yes, under the circumstances he could definitely live with 3-1.

[Pasarga]

"Well, we're tied for first in our group with just a single match left until we're at the halfway point. Bit unexpected aint it?"

"Well... yeah it is to be quite honest. The team though, it is playing with a good amount of chemistry and optimism."

"Think that is due to the amount of players from the same squads on the side?"

"Oh I definitely believe that it helps, especially when it is a top half club. Then you know not only do they know each other, but they are also pretty good footballers to boot!"

"Well, it may be a bit premature to be all celebratory about our efforts, we've yet to face the Elves."

"Valanora?"

"Nah, the other Elven nation, Dorian and Sonya."

"Oh yeah, them. They won the World Cup not to long ago right?"

"Indeed, and they are the top seed in the group, the team we're level with points with."

"Got to be on our A-game then. A win here could really set up the second half of Qualifying. We'd only need to match their efforts to make our way to QPeMA-AMSV"

"If we do get in, I hope we go to the Pocoan lands. I mean, our domestic leagues share a league, so we've gotten a bit alcimatised to them."

"Good point, but that is still three months away. Have to concentrate on the here and now."

"How do you suggest we beat those Elves."

"Confrontational water fowl?"

"Nah, that's too predictable. Let's go with... all out attack!"

"You mean actually play fair?"

"Aye, no one will expect it. 'sides, we're Pasargans, we've got a certain honorable reputation to uphold."

"Well... we're doomed. Might as well just prepare for the playoff... if we get that far."

"Hey, don't be naysayers! Just need to have some faith and luck!"

"Doomed I tell you, DOOMED!"

[Equestrian States]

ESPN: Equestrian Sporting Ponies Network
Equestrians Drop Two More, Losing Streak Up To Four Games
Tags: World Cup 58, Dorian and Sonya, Lonaga
Posted on Jan. 31, 2012 at 4:35 PM RCT (Royal Canterlot Time)

CANTERLOT - Over the last two days, the situation of the Equestrian States soccer team has gone from bad to worse. Losses to Dorian and Sonya and Lonaga have set the team in a spiral towards the bottom of the group and some are calling for changes in the Equestrian starting eleven. Head Coach Twilight Striker has yet to announce any roster changes, however, and has declined to recieve any calls from the press. Nopony expected the Equestrian States to make the World Cup itself, but the team was expected to do much better than their last four performances have shown. A miracle would be needed at this point for the Equestrian States to advance, and one just isn't in the schedule for the team.

Perhaps the Equestrians can turn themselves around in tonight's match-up against Altimarus. The team really needs a win to reinspire themselves going into the second half of qualifiers. Following the away match, the Equestrian States will return home to face-off against the Ursines of the Armed Bears. It should prove to be an interesting match, and the capital is feverously preparing for the arrival of the visiting squad.

-Lunar Cavalry

[The Kangaroo Republic]

'roos make up for loss

After having lost 6 crucial points in the past two games against Carpathia & Ruthenia and Valanora, both of which were lost by the 'roos. A hard time had to be faced by the team, who had to put a good amount of effort into their play again, if they wanted to get a chance at qualifiying. While the previous match between Valanora was a lost battle before it even started, the upcoming match against Karlada should prove to be a breather for the 'roos, but they were prepared not to be subject to any surprises as they happened against Carpathia & Ruthenia.

The 'roos were ready to play another home match today. Once again, the police was fully present, with the protests continuing to grow in intensity. They too did not want to have to deal with any nasty surprises. The match did not start off without a hitch. Protestors who were displaying their signs in the stadium were more restless than last match, and the start of the match was forced to be postponed for an extra 30 minuted when fireworks were thrown onto the field.

But luckily, the situation was dealt with and the match could get underway in a relatively normal fashion. The 'roos played at a higher pace than before, and such was reflected in the amount of chances they created. Right off the bat, they had a few early attempts at goal and shots on target, but still no goal. The first half saw a long period of such chances being created, but not taken to the utmost extent, untill in the 37th minute, the first goal fell on behalf of the 'roos.

The second half saw much more chances being taken advantage of. With 2 more goals falling on the side of the 'roos who were dominating the match again like we've known them before. Karlada struck back hard though, and managed to get their revenge on the 'roos from a beautifully taken free kick. While this was not enough to close down the gap between the two teams, it restored some honour for the Karladans, but in the end, they could not tip to the 'roos and the final scores were 3 - 1. A mirrored score to the previous match against Valanora, and thus the 'roos managed to make up for their previous loss. They still have a long way to go, and with Eastfield Lodge still in second spot, the next match was going to need a win too, if the 'roos wanted to regain their second place.

The next match against Zona Azul, currently ranked last in the group standings. With Eastfield Lodge being the last team for the first half of the qualifications to be enjoying their day off. The 'roos could end up in second spot during mid-qual if they win the next match, which the 'roos will no doubt be aiming for.

---

Results Elsewhere
Eastfield Lodge 2-1 Triimoria
Carpathia and Ruthenia 0-0 Chrinthanium
Valanora 1-0 Numbadon

---

Group 11 Standings

   Team                        P  W  D  L For  Ag +/- Pts
 1 Valanora                    7  6  1  0  15   5 +10  19
 2 Eastfield Lodge             8  4  3  1  14  10  +4  15
 3 The Kangaroo Republic       7  4  1  2  13   6  +7  13
 4 Carpathia and Ruthenia      7  3  2  2   7   6  +1  11
 5 Triimoria                   7  3  1  3  12  10  +2  10
 6 Chrinthanium                7  2  3  2  11  13  -2   9
 7 Numbadon                    7  1  1  5   7  12  -5   4
 8 Karlada                     7  1  1  5   7  15  -8   4
 9 Zona Azul                   7  1  1  5   6  15  -9   4

[Queer Poco el Mono Ara]

Apologies for the delay, apparently my IP has been blocked for "downloading child porn....." none of this is true and has thus forth delayed my scorination with many thanks to the random ass virus that has installed itself on my laptop...

Sorry for the delay, regular scorination will continue hence forth and irritation at downloading music illegally will now be put on hold until the police are contacted, following the dodgy couple of phone calls my family have received from an Indian bloke named Mark who wanted my mother to "just turn any computer in the house on"

http://forum.nationstates.net/viewtopic.php?p=8330954#p8330954

[Chetkosk]

Huffin' and Puffin
The somewhat bearable musings of a moderately tubby man
- it's Yuri Stempov's Football Blog

And lo, on the eve of the last match of the first half of the World Cup qualifying campaign, the Puffins did quake in their boots, for this was to be the last chance before the break to rise up the group. If Wight and ABK suffer in their games tonight, and Chetkosk earn a win (somehow) against Kulverint, we can sneak ahead to third place and save a little bit of pride.

Havign said that, Kulverint will undoubtedly be a tough challenge, and it's quite likely we will be shown how to really play football tonight. They may have suffered some bad luck or poor play in this tournament also, not least their defeat to Soviet Canuckistan last game, but that should do nothing to deter us from putting them on our "are likely to run rings around us" list.

Tied with them on the table at the moment are those fiendish jedi-type people, the force is strong in them. It is true we have underestimated them in the past, and suffered for it, but we shan't make that mistake again. That is, unless we can't get those walking carpets out of our way. And it would help if people would stop getting tapped on their ankles and then fall to the floor screaming that scream that always seems to be present everywhere. And, unlike stormtroopers, they can shoot for toffee.

Regarding our more recent performances, I am somewhat disappointed we didn't get six points out of six, but four is better than three, I suppose.
...
Oh god, listen to me, reduced to stating elementary mathematics. I very much doubt you are unaware that more points is better than fewer points in this context, and it's not that I'm dumbing things down for you, it's just that there really isn't much to say. Chetkosk's play at the moment is, for want of a better word, uninspiring. There's no spark, no sizzle - Torbinskiy has lost his dazzling style on the finish, Heimpfel has lost his aura of command in the midfield, Mostovoi has lost his stopping power in his tackles, and Scherbak has lost the range in his once-glorious one-handed leaps. Perhaps it's what we needed, but this world cup has become something of a wake-up call for the Puffins. Now that we're not underdogs, we can't rely on being underestimated to bag a killing blow on those better than us, and we mustn't afford the same advantage to teams that are perhaps considered of a lower calibre.

Brrrrrrrrrring, brrrrrrrrrrrring.
Byshovetsiy, this is your wake-up call. Are you going to take it?

(wow, that sounds more dramatic than intended)

---

---

Chapter IV : Saint Agnessa and the Perikantel


The township of Smolensk, as it was only a town back when this tale is set, was often finding their farms in the outlying fields under attack from aggressive vultures and eagles from the nearby snowy mountains. But none were more vicious, more soul-destroying, more spirit-crushing than the mighty Perikantel. With a wingspan greater than any other bird in flight and a shrill cry louder than a volcanic eruption, she would cast her shadow over mankind and all who fell under it would feel any hope they had remaining in their lives shrivel and die inside. The creature's foul wail had a way of sapping mankind's will to struggle against the oncoming storm of destruction and despair that was undoubtedly lurking just over the horizon.

So it was that Sister Agnessa of the local parish found her flock suffering at the claws of Perikantel. They came running for sanctuary any time the vicious demon was plaguing the sky with it's presence. With no obvious way to knock the creature from the sky, it being so massive, Agnessa came to the conclusion that it must be bested when it is on the ground, and the only place to be sure of that happening would be at it's nest. Thus Sister Agnessa took a pilgrimage up the mountain now named after the demon that once lived at it's summit.

Sister Agnessa was no frail thing, and ascended to the summit in only a few days where she came across a huge construction. It was Perikantel's nest, a large structure made from heavy boughs of trees and whole swathes of moss and wheatstalks. Upon climbing the side Agnessa found the nest was plenty large for her to stand within and not see over the sides, and found it empty. She sat in the centre of the large opening and awaited Perikantel's return.

It was night when the devious eagle returned from a raid of despair, and it's keen vision spotted the intruder instantly. Quick as a flash Agnessa drew her chosen weapon - a mace imbued with the fiery spirit of Balteja. However, before she could strike she found herself in the bird's shadow, and a concentrated wave of sorrow and horror and despair fell through her heart. She was led to believe that all in the world was lost and that she should just lie on the ground and await the numbing inevitability of death. But Agnessa, a woman of the cloth, was not fooled so, and she dodged to the side as a sharp talon jabbed at her.

Any time Perikantel influenced Agnessa to believe she was drowning in despair, the voice of Balteja spoke unto her, clearing her thoughts and confirming her purpose. With driving blows she struck Perikantel's soft underbelly, bringing the eagle to the floor of the nest with time. The foe was undone, the world was tainted by one less demon, and the people of Smolensk slept peacefully that night. For her deeds, Agnessa progressed to Mother Superior, and was eventually ascended unto sainthood.

---

---

-------------- Deity Spotlight --------------

Agodur

Agodur is a part of the First Echelon, a son of Lukos and Balteja, and was granted rule over all the seas and the power of the wind in the sky. For this reason he is highly regarded and worshipped in coastal settlements, where fishermen and other seafarers pray for a modicum of safety out on the high seas. He is generally a remorseful deity, but he punishes those who are foolish enough to consider themselves the rulers of the oceans.

He often argues with his sibling Hesta, Goddess of Thunder and Lightning, as their powers overlap and interfere with each other's rules. In this way mighty sea storms and maelstroms are created.

---

---

BYE
Jedi8246 3-1 Chetkosk
Chetkosk 1-1 Branta Island
Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuk 0-2 Chetkosk
Chetkosk 4-1 Wight
Vergenskia 2-0 Chetkosk
Chetkosk 2-0 Soviet Canuckistan
Puerto Candelaria 1-1 Chetkosk
Chetkosk v Kulverint

BREAK

BYE
Chetkosk v Jedi8246
Branta Island v Chetkosk
Chetkosk v Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuk
Wight v Chetkosk
Chetkosk v Vergenskia
Soviet Canuckistan v Chetkosk
Chetkosk v Puerto Candelaria
Kulverint v Chetkosk

[Camwood]

Brawl at The Babbage Islands

All Camian football fanatics learned something this Matchday 9; Camians and Babbage Islanders don't get along.

It started when David Smith and Saturnino Valle Barajasere fighting for a lose ball around thirty one minutes. Someone shoved someone else and a sucker-punch fight broke out. Three Camians and Four Babbage Islanders got into a brawl that resulted in four black eyes, three Camian red cards, and a babbage yellow card. The fight took twelve minutes to break up. Among the players for Camwood granted Red Cards were David Smith, Donald Matherly, and Jesse Dicken.

For the last sixty minutes of the match Camwood had three less players then TBI and payed big time. In the last fifteen minutes of the first half The Babbage Islands scored two goals, and Victor Giles was handed a yellow for yelling at a referee for not an ooffisde resulting in a goal.

The in the first minute of the final half Victor Giles was handed another yellow card for an intentional hand ball. Before time ran out TBI scored it's ninth and final goal, with an advantage of four men.

Camwood Players

Name          G A S SV
L. Rossi      0 0 3 
K. Torress    0 0 2 
D. Smith      0 0 0
D. Matherly   0 0 1
J. Cecil      0 0 4
J. Dicken     0 0 1
B. Gregory    0 0 2
J. Arnolds    0 0 5
--H. Young    0 0 1
V. Giles      0 0 0
T. Jacoby     0 0 1 12

[Qazox]

"So Grandfather, how was the trip to Jeruselem?"

"Good, good. Just my back luck that my QPad broke due to an overeager young baggage handler."

"So you couldn't keep up the team?"

"Of course not. But I trust you will give me a quick rundown of the last week?"

"First off, against Kulumba, the Eagles rebounded quite well with a 4-1victory."

"Good, Nice that the team didn't start a losing streak. Who scored for the Eagles?"

"Lynn twice in the 16th and 32nd, Dobbs in the 64th and Shaw in the 68th."

"Good, next, I believe we were to face Virabia at home, right?"

"Your memory still astounds me, Grandfather."

"So, what about our home return?"

"A 3-nil shutout. We played poorly."

"We lost to Virabia? At home?"

"No, we won, but team played very sloppily, left about 6 or 7 chances on the field, and there was 4 yellow card handed out. If it was any other team, odds were the Eagles would have lost."

"Who scored in that one, Charles?"

"Dobbs had two goals, 46th and 84th minutes and that new girl, Fu'anuoa, added one in the 74th, after Lynn was taken off for an injury."

"Lynn got injured? How serious?"

"Not very. Just a low ankle injury. He missed the Sjovenia match."

"Sjovenia, I hope we didn't drop any points to that team."

"We did. A 2-2 draw. But before you get hot and bothered, Zaki and a couple members of the team were denied Visas into Sjovenia, some thing about irregularities about their passports. So the team had to start Daniel Spaatz on the front, Eve Wallace in net, who didn't look too bad, other than the cheap goal in the 56th minute that was offsides. But I digress. But Spaatz did get both goals."

"Twice we've drawn with two teams we've should've beaten. I think the Homelands our match was last night. Please tell me some good news."

"A 1-0 win, with Dwight Lynn scoring the lone goal in the 66th minute."

"So a 3-1-0 record over the past week isn't too bad, what's the record?"

"5-2-1, 2nd place. 2 points behind Virabia."

"Well the limo's almost at the gate. I'll see you tommorrow for the Wolfmanne match."

[Civil Citizenry]

OOC: Inspired by and somewhat copied from a truly hilarious video. It's best to watch it first so you get the context of the battle.

---

The Greatest Rap Battle of All Time

C-Cone
Residence: 225 Palmouth Ave (Mom's house)
Record: 3-3
Rhyme Style: Weak Punchlines
Side Hustle: Amateur Football
Real Name: Jackson Cedric

Announcer: "You know where we at, dis primetime rappin. Let's go 'head 'nd get into it, we got our challenger over here -"

C-Cone: "Yeah, C-Cone, 225 Vermont Ave."

Announcer: "225? Is that an area code? Put that in MapGuess or something. So, T-Bone there - let's get it to our main man, the champion himself, no need for introduction - Supa Ossss!"

Supa Os
Residence: Hotsville, Polar Islandstates
Record: 398,246,301-0
Rhyme Style: Hot Fire
Side Hustle: Mayor of Cotdelapoms
Real Name: Oswald Hastings

Supa Os: "First of all, I'm not a rapper."

Announcer: "Let's go ahead and do a lil coin toss here. Good luck."

C-Cone: "You called heads - oh, it's tails."

Supa Os: "Ey ey ey - I go first. Ey ey ey - tell 'em -"

Announcer: "Yeah, man, Supa Os goes first."

Supa Os: "Check it. I counted The Babbage Islands' goals against Camwood. Here's the number. ...SIKE! That's the wrong numbah!"

Crowd: "Ohhhhhhh!"

Supa Os: "Sweet dolla tea from McRonald's: I drink that. Supa hot fire: I spit that. Ten-and-eightEighths bears: I play that."

Crowd: "Ohhh!!!!!"

Supa Os: "Hold it down, now, I'm not a rapper, check me out. Glasses, jacket, tern, call me glasses-jacket-tern-man. Or call me supa hot tern, hundred degrees, leather jacket, 'cause I'm a supa hot terrrrn!"

Crowd: "OHHHHH!!!!"

Announcer: "...Sorry, I got lost in the train of thought of all that goodness. Let's see what you can show, T-Bone - oh, C-Cone? Oh, oh, well, go."

C-Cone: "Is that what they put me up against? Supa Os, I never heard of you
I'm looking at him like, is he Jassem Lehreumiash? I'm 'bout to murder you
My crew ain't waiting, we ain't serving you
I'm like Ack[leigh], I get fouled and then I'm back to hittin' thirty-two
SHOTS! Yo' goalie always lets the balls through
FLOPS! Yeah, he's tall enough, so he can ride
KNOTS! I got them, too, but I keep the merchandise up by the
SHOPS! They told me I had to battle, but this is who they setup?
I'm like, nah, man, this must be a set-up."

Supa Os: "Ight, ight, Round 2, you're done, Round 2. First of all, I'm not your friend, so stop looking at me. Second of all, I'm not a rapper - so stop rapping at me!"

Crowd: "Ohhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!"

Supa Os: "Ight ight, check me out, check me out. I'm bout to end this man's whole career - but I'm not a rapper. Look. Boom. Bam. Ba. Ba-da-ba-boom. Pow."

Crowd: "OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

[Vilita]

The Saga en to Saugeais: Part I

Both teams had played 7 games, and both trailed group leader Mytannion, and neither was particularly good with directions.

As is typical for a match of this type, the teams departed their training facilities about 2 days before the match to travel to the location of the match and get acclimated to the surroundings, environment and time shifts. Apparently, however, neither team actually knew where the match was being played.

The Vilitan National Team travelled to Saugeais via special private flight, paying a premium to land at the Saugeais International Airport. The whole team was on the flight, minus co-manager Tika Massa who stayed behind in Alikki-Corra to take care of some family matters, and a Supporters Conference the next morning at the Tivali Ring Stadium representing the Vilitan Football Association's interest and sponsors.

To the surprise of Massa, he wasn't the only manager at the press conference. Massa entered the room to find Knight's head coach Iarlaith Mag Aonghusa fielding questions from the excited group of sponsors and guests. Massa was surprised, and asked the displaced Sortherner what he was doing in Vilita. The Saugeais coach seemed put back by the question. "Preparing for the match, of course". Massa rushed out of the conference to the shock of the guests and contacted co-manager Kris Wrice who was in Montbenoit. "What do you mean they are in Vilita, I thought we were playing in Saugeais" Wrice said. Massa admitted he wasn't really paying attention just doing what he was told. All he knew was the Saugeais team was in Vilita and they were ready to play. "We may not have any fans in the stands, but we can't concede a walkover no matter what happens."

Coach Wrice quickly gathered up all the Vilitan players and met up with them at the airport. All but Jungrii Canopii, that is, the backup Vilitan Goalkeeper was no where to be found, and none of the players had seen the player. The team waited 15 minutes past their originally scheduled "All on board" time and then coach Wrice shut the door. "Can't wait all day, we've got to get back. I've left three messages and no response. We have to leave. Jungrii can take a commercial flight back, if not we'll bring in Jaded or Tivalan or something."

The thrusters fired and the aircraft rocketed down the runway. After the trip, the team deplaned in Alikki-Corra exhausted and ready for some real sleep before the following days match. As the players turned their communication devices back on, a chorus of dings, rings and blurps echoed throughout the craft. It was a communique from Jungrii Canopii back in Saugeais.

Code: Select all

 fly to VIL? y? Match 2moro - here. They $$ tickets here @stadium and signs all over place. You at hotel? Its either April Fools on me or April fools on u. LOL Im not falling 4 this. Howd u get coach to agree on this

"What a dope" coach Wrice said as they deboarded. I leave him three messages and he still doesn't believe me. Coach Wrice then realized he had a second communique. The second was from coach Massa.

Code: Select all

Hope you guys are still in Saugeais, the match is in Montbenoit. I'll fly back with the Saugeains and meet you there. Guess they messed that one up! -Tika

"SHIYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYaaaaaaarghhhhhhhh" Wrice exhulpted, and dialed up his communicator to Coach Massa's digits. Straight to messages.

Wrice had no clue what the hell was going on, and decided to communicate straight to someone from the World Cup Committee to sort it out.

"Yes Mr. Wrice, I have the Stade de Montagne in Montbenoit, Saugeais as the venue for the match, there won't be any delay, the schedule is very tight."

Coach Wrice simply ended the Communique. "SHIYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYaaaaaaarghhhhhhhh" he exhulpted again. "EVERYONE GET BACK IN THE FLYING CRAFT. NOW"

The players looked confused, and Kris Wrice just looked angry. The players got back on, and Wrice shut the door. The pilots expressed concerns about the lack of an approved flight plan. "We'll figure it out once we're in the air" Wrice said, "Just go".

To be continued...


...Shortly...

[Valanora]

"So... apparently Eastfield Lodge media outlets think there was a game played at the Hatire Memorial."

"That is weird, the match was on their home soil."

"Maybe they actually have a stadium named that to..."

"No, it says right here that it was played on the island of Capri and called the Marauders the home side."

"You think maybe they were having one of those alternate reality trips or something?"

"I am not sure. Or maybe it was a glimpse into the future."

"Quite the strange mystery that we have here. I would hope that is not the future, the Marauders should be beating sides like them at home."

"Yeah, I don't know, it is quite the perplexing report."

"I blame drugs. Mass quantities of drugs."

"There have always been rumors of RPinin being supplies to a majority of the footballing community. It would not surprise me if this were the case."

"Such a shame so many turn to these drugs."

"Quite so, but it is their choice to do so."

"Free will sometimes makes so little sense."

[Vilita]

Jungle Cats Claw Back Takil Style

Shootout in Saugeais Keeps Vilita alive in Group 10

Both teams had played 7 games, and both trailed group leader Mytannion, and neither was particularly good with directions.

As is typical for a match of this type, the teams departed their training facilities about 2 days before the match to travel to the location of the match and get acclimated to the surroundings, environment and time shifts. Apparently, however, neither team actually knew where the match was being played.

The Vilitan National Team travelled to Saugeais via special private flight, paying a premium to land at the Saugeais International Airport. The whole team was on the flight, minus co-manager Tika Massa who stayed behind in Alikki-Corra to take care of some family matters, and a Supporters Conference the next morning at the Tivali Ring Stadium representing the Vilitan Football Association's interest and sponsors.

To the surprise of Massa, he wasn't the only manager at the press conference. Massa entered the room to find Knight's head coach Iarlaith Mag Aonghusa fielding questions from the excited group of sponsors and guests. Massa was surprised, and asked the displaced Sortherner what he was doing in Vilita. The Saugeais coach seemed put back by the question. "Preparing for the match, of course". Massa rushed out of the conference to the shock of the guests and contacted co-manager Kris Wrice who was in Montbenoit. "What do you mean they are in Vilita, I thought we were playing in Saugeais" Wrice said. Massa admitted he wasn't really paying attention just doing what he was told. All he knew was the Saugeais team was in Vilita and they were ready to play. "We may not have any fans in the stands, but we can't concede a walkover no matter what happens."

Coach Wrice quickly gathered up all the Vilitan players and met up with them at the airport. All but Jungrii Canopii, that is, the backup Vilitan Goalkeeper was no where to be found, and none of the players had seen the player. The team waited 15 minutes past their originally scheduled "All on board" time and then coach Wrice shut the door. "Can't wait all day, we've got to get back. I've left three messages and no response. We have to leave. Jungrii can take a commercial flight back, if not we'll bring in Jaded or Tivalan or something."

The thrusters fired and the aircraft rocketed down the runway. After the trip, the team deplaned in Alikki-Corra exhausted and ready for some real sleep before the following days match. As the players turned their communication devices back on, a chorus of dings, rings and blurps echoed throughout the craft. It was a communique from Jungrii Canopii back in Saugeais.

Code: Select all

 fly to VIL? y? Match 2moro - here. They $$ tickets here @stadium and signs all over place. You at hotel? Its either April Fools on me or April fools on u. LOL Im not falling 4 this. Howd u get coach to agree on this

"What a dope" coach Wrice said as they deboarded. I leave him three messages and he still doesn't believe me. Coach Wrice then realized he had a second communique. The second was from coach Massa.

Code: Select all

Hope you guys are still in Saugeais, the match is in Montbenoit. I'll fly back with the Saugeains and meet you there. Guess they messed that one up! -Tika

"SHIYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYaaaaaaarghhhhhhhh" Wrice exhulpted, and dialed up his communicator to Coach Massa's digits. Straight to messages.

Wrice had no clue what the hell was going on, and decided to communicate straight to someone from the World Cup Committee to sort it out.

"Yes Mr. Wrice, I have the Stade de Montagne in Montbenoit, Saugeais as the venue for the match, there won't be any delay, the schedule is very tight."

Coach Wrice simply ended the Communique. "SHIYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYaaaaaaarghhhhhhhh" he exhulpted again. "EVERYONE GET BACK IN THE FLYING CRAFT. NOW"

The players looked confused, and Kris Wrice just looked angry. The players got back on, and Wrice shut the door. The pilots expressed concerns about the lack of an approved flight plan. "We'll figure it out once we're in the air" Wrice said, "Just go".

After much consultation with the flight control in Montbenoit, the Vilitan pilots finally got approval to land back at Saugeais International. The Saugeais National Team, and Vilitan Coach Tika Massa, had arrived hours before, and were likely already asleep as it was now less than 24 hours from the match.

The Vilitan team moved swiftly to the hotel to try to catch some sleep before the match, but most were unsuccesful at re-adapting themselves so quickly.

The Jungle Cats looked very lethargic in the locker room prior to the match, even backup goalkeeper Jungrii Canopii wasn't looked so hot. Apparently the goalkeeper had a wound on the hand after sticking the hand into a sundries bag while reaching for a razor blade, a move which may have cost Canopii a chance at the second start of the campaign.

Then Tika Massa spoke up. "You guys realize I just spent an entire flight with the Saugeais team, right?" Massa Said, "They didn't talk tactics much, but they all have personalities." Massa looked around at his players, "Just like every one of you"

"Steve Park, he doesn't want to be playing footy, he wants to be a race car driver. A Race Car Driver! Imagine that? He walks around in a race car suit and a Pennzoil hat. He's got oil the veins. So I called ahead and found out there were a few unsold billboards at the stadium. Well, I used some of the petty cash and bought them, and put pictures of race cars on them. Park is sure to flock to them, or at least keep an eye on them as it rotates to my pictures. And then theres..." Massa continued to share a little tidbit he learned about as many Saugeais players he could remember socializing with on the flight. By the end of the talk, the Vilitan players looked like they had reached their second wind, and a new energy emanated from the huddle as the team broke to run out to the pitch.

The energy translated directly onto the pitch as Steffyn Siazzu scored after just 90 seconds. Siazzu dispossessed a stone-footed Park 20 yards inside the Saugeais half (Video review will have to determine whether Massa's Billboards had anything to do with it) and surprised Jenson Paulson with a quick shot right after the dispossession, catching the Saugeais National Keeper off his line, putting the Jungle Cats up to a quick and unprobable 1-0 lead.

System Karela had clearly been thrown out the window in the orders for the crucial clash, as both teams seemed to be leaning towards System Takil. In fact, they resembled more of a System Hangila, though the term is not as widely known and has fallen out of favor for the more extreme connotations of Karela and Takil. Extreme was the theme of the day however, as virtually the entire match was taking place in one penalty area or the other, the Vilitan's having the most of the early chances, with 5 corner kicks in the opening 15 minutes.

The Jungle Cats doubled their lead in the 20th minute through Strike FC's Viji-Mara Lawaai who netted for the first time during these World Cup 58 Qualifiers. The Jungle Cats continued to press and Lawaai had a pair of chances denied by Paulson. The corner kicks kept on coming as well, Vilita having had 10 of them by the half hour mark, an absolutely Takili ridiculous amount.

Vilita appeared thrilled to be taking a 2-0 lead into the half, when their 13th corner of the half proved lucky as defender Miiara Makose headed home to give the visitors an incredible 3-0 lead at the half, silencing the capacity 68,500 crowd, none of which had flown to the wrong country before the match.

The half time break allowed the Jungle Cat players a chance to relax, and, in hindsight, it was the worst possible thing they could have done. Without the go-to speech from Massa, and having exhausted their second wind to the fullest, Vilita came out flat in the second half and was made to pay quickly.

Amaechi Olsen netted yet another goal in an illustrious career as the #1 forward in Saugeais drawing one back for the home side just 2 minutes into the half. The Jungle Cats were unable to respond and were pushed on their back heels as Olsen had opportunity after opportunity to net a second goal, but Nycflala Kater, and Kater's defensive line kept rejecting the Saugeais Hero. Knight's coach Iarlaith Mag Aonghusa introduced Vilitan-Based forward Kuzman Ruslan on the hour mark, and the introduction of the young player shifted the attacking balance even more in favor of Saugeais, who continued making space and earning corner kicks in an almost mirrored fashion to the success Vilita experienced in the first half.

The Saugeais team was clearly outpacing and outperforming the Vilitan's at this point, possibly due to the double exhaustion the Vilitan's face compared to the slightly better rested Saugeais team that didn't seem to be crashing quite as hard as their Vilitan counterparts.

Despite this, the Jungle Cats continued to be successful in rejecting the attempts on goal by the Saugeais team, until Ruslan found himself unmarked in the 82nd minute. The young forward was able to catch Nycflala Kater wrong footed and, luckily for him, had the whole net to shoot at. The badly mis-hit effort still found its way to the back of the net setting up a grand stand finish in front of a rejuvenated home crowd.

However, the Vilitan backline would hold, despite the home side having 3 different corner kicks during the stoppage time period alone. The victory for Vilita will likely be followed by a large period of rest for the over-travelled players who will now be looking to sweep their remaining group matches to have a realistic chance at qualification. Vilita have joined level second with Saugeais due to the positive result, but the Jungle Cats far inferior goal differential will ensure that Saugeais maintains the upper hand on that aspect of the tiebreaker throughout qualifying. The Jungle Cats will have to hope to out-point their opposition, and those critical tasks start ahead in Week 9, where coach Kris Wrice is likely to call a member of the World Cup Committee before the match to confirm the venue... just in case.





Vilita Goalscorers::
2' Steffyn Siazzu
20' Viji-mara Lawaai
45' Miiara Makose


Saugeais Goalscorers::
47' Amaechi Olsen
82' Kuzman Ruslan

Vilita

Best Player: Nycflala Kater
Worst Player: Kristofer Kilpter
Shots on Target: 7
Corner Kicks: 15

Saugeais

Best Player: Amaechi Olsen
Worst Player: Steve Park
Shots on Target: 9
Corner Kicks: 13


Vilita Jungle Cats (3-(1-4)-2) ::
[GK] Nycflala Kater, [D] Ritopa Simafela, [D] Miiara Makose, [D] Kadi Molali, [DMC] Retiso Buran, [ML] Jomur Hulyer, [MC] Resaie Kentiak, [MR] Rexii Tzikas, [MC] Steffyn Siazzu, [FC] Kristofer Kilpter, [FC] Viji-mara Lawaai
BENCH::
[FC] Xcnaio Bansoa, [FC] Sirkii Moliaudo, [M] Jian Lejsrma, [M] Viliaka Morasita, [U] Uajiala Pulkki, [D] Niubo Deneli, [GK] Jungrii Canopii

Vilita Substitutions::
(45) - Jomur Hulyer >>> Viliaka Morasita
(68) - Viji-mara Lawaai >>> Xcnaio Bansoa
(68) - Steffyn Siazzu >>> Sirkii Moliaudo


Match Ratings (For Future Statistical Reference)
GK :: Nycflala Kater 8

D :: Ritopa Simafela 10
D :: Miiara Makose 10
D :: Kadi Molali 9

DMC :: Retiso Buran 5

ML :: Jomur Hulyer 5
MC :: Resaie Kentiak 9
MC :: Steffyn Siazzu 7
MR :: Rexii Tzikas 9


FC :: Kristofer Kilpter 6
FC :: Viji-mara Lawaai 7

Vilitan Subs Bench:
FC :: Xcnaio Bansoa 5
FC :: Sirkii Moliaudo 5
M :: Jian Lejsrma DNP
M :: Viliaka Morasita 6
U :: Eda Shindhi DNP
D :: Niubo Deneli DNP
GK :: Jungrii Canopii DNP

[Andossa Se Mitrin Vega]

And now we have our midpoint, damn let's catch our breath, this thing is closely contested everywhere RP cutoff for MD9

MD9 Scores

[Saugeais]

OOC: This will be a two-part RP. Part 1 is back story, part 2 is the match report.

The plane touched down in Vilita as the Saugeais national team was getting ready for their pivotal match against the Jungle Cats of Vilita. After all, a win would propel them ever closer to the coveted top spot in the group, as that position guarantees advancement to the Finals. The Knights have been searching for ways to counter their slightly slipping form, as the losses to Tymason and Mytannion certainly aren't helping their cause.

The team boarded buses to the hotel, where it was assumed they would be staying for their spell in Vilita. They pulled up to the front of the building, and manager Mag Aonghusa went to the front desk to retrieve their room keys. "I'm sorry, sir," said the woman behind the counter, "but we have no record that the Saugeais national team is to be staying here for the night. Check with your coordinator to make sure you aren't actually set up in one of the other hotels in the area." Aonghusa quickly got on his mobile as the desk clerk wished him luck, and found himself calling the football association about this mix up. "I hope they have a reasonable explanation for this," he muttered to himself as the call was connecting.


"Hello, Football Association of Saugeais main office, this is Claudia speaking. How may I help you?"

"Hey, Claudia, it's Iarlaith here. Is Sébastian in? It is urgently important."

"Sure, one moment." Aonghusa could feel himself get more and more anxious, until a man answered at the other end. "Hello, Mr. Aonghusa? How are you?"

"Not good. I'm trying to get my team booked up in a hotel for the night in Vilita, but the main recommended hotel didn't have us listed. Was there a different location that you didn't tell me about?"

There was a pause at the other end of the line. "............Where are you?"

"Vilita, sir. That's where the match is scheduled to take place."

"Mr. Aonghusa, you need to take a better look at the scheduling. The match is to be played at Stade de Montagne in two days time. You better get the team back here as fast as possible, or we may have some evaluating to do with your position. I can't have you using the FA's money to throw around willy-nilly. So please, hurry back soon for your match."


Aonghusa pocketed his mobile and strongly resisted the urge to curse loudly. Without any time to waste, he boarded the bus and told the driver to get back to the airport, and fast. As the bus was speeding down the highway away from the city, up piped Kuzman Ruslan, asking, "What's the problem, coach?"

"The FA made a terrible mistake. I called them up about why we weren't booked for the hotel just a while ago. They told me before that we were booked to play the match in Vilita. Upon reviewing the schedule, we are, in fact, slated to play the match back home. Therefore, we need to haul ass back to Saugeais on the double," Aonghusa said. "I don't like just as much as you all do, but we have to deal with this setback and come out strong on the pitch in two days time. OK? Keep you spirits up."

The players looked mildly worried. Yes, they would be able to get back in time, but their practice time had been severely cut now, leading some of the new additions to question if they'll be ready for the match.

[Saugeais]

As the mid-qualfying break comes upon us, we must pause and look back at how the Knights have done, and find way to do better in the second leg. The 9 goal shellacking against Brightonburg is certainly one of the high points during the first leg, but one must look at the surprising 4-2 loss against Tymason to wonder what is our team doing at times. Table leaders Mytannion didn't do us any favors, as they kept their top spot after defeating us, and in the final match to close out the first qualifying stage, Vilita managed to pull out a 3-2 win against us at home. "Well, it could've been much worse given the circumstances," said manager Mag Aonghusa. He is referring to the confusion between himself and the FA over where the match was supposedly scheduled. Both sides were reported to have been told separate information, but ultimately the situation righted itself, and the national team was back on home soil in time for the match.

Getting to said match, the Jungle Cats came out fighting, seeming to have weathered their trip better than Saugeais, as they laid on the offense throughout the first half. Receiving the ball to start the half, the Vilitans showed perfect control of the ball after dispossessing Steve Park on the flank, ultimately leaving the ball at the feet of Steffyn Siazzu, who struck it clean past Jenson Paulson to put the Knights down a goal very early. The Jungle Cats seemed to mount corner kick after corner kick, until Viji-Mara Lawaai headed the ball into the net after Paulson denied him twice previously. Saugeais was down 2-0 and the crowd began to grow silent. Another goal off of a headed corner kick (this time by defender Miiara Makose) gave Vilita a 3-0 lead as the referee blew his whistle for half time. The crowd at Stade de Montagne was stunned silent, with a good portion of the upper decks already starting to file for the exits. "It was ugly, we couldn't execute anything we wanted to," said Aonghusa. "While it seemed unlikely at the time, I told the team they should continue their attacking ways, look for openings in their defense, and hope they will ease up."

Saugeais began with the ball to start the second half, and with nothing to lose now, launched a strong offensive to start off. The Jungle Cats were not ready for a surprise like this, as their defense fell flat trying to stop Dan Nagato and Amaechi Olsen. After some delightful passing of their own, it was Olsen who got Saugeais on the board in the 47th minute, striking a low liner under the diving keeper. Saugeais did all they could to attack whenever available, but after the first goal, the Vilitan defense tightened up slightly. Olsen was eventually subbed out for youngster Kuzman Ruslan, who would help draw the Knights closer to their opponents. With full time drawing near, Saugeais overloaded the front lines in desperation. The three forwards and four midfielders drove deep into Jungle Cat territory, trying to force a hole in the defensive wall. A Saugeais corner kick that pinballed around the six yard box found Ruslan miraculously, who shot it just inside the post to cut Vilita's lead to just one in the 82nd minute. However, that would be the last time Saugeais would have a chance at goal, as Vilita fully clamped down their defense until the final whistle, giving them the 3 points.

"Could we have beaten them? On any other day, I'd say 60/40 us," said Aonghusa at the post match press conference. "They played very well, but as I've said before, if the circumstances were different, I'd definitely see us taking the three points." On that note of confidence, Saugeais will be off until their friendly against fellow Rushmori nation, Polar Islandstates. Catch you later Knights fans.

[New Montreal States]

Jocelyn Brisebois and the rest of his side stood around the back of the entrance tunnel at the Paladin Dome, waiting for the announcer to introduce the side. After scoring his first two international goals in the last two matches, he had been selected match captain by acclamation, and was going to lead the team out into the Paladin Dome. Before the announcer had so much as leaned into his mic, however, a massive eruption of cheering broke out among the fans.

"Erm," said Brisebois to William St. John de la Ware, who was standing next to him, "what?"

"Is Baltskandio really the mouse that roared?" asked the blueblood.

"There's no way they pulled off an upset," said an incredulous Brisebois. He was proven wrong, however, when the wave of cheering broke, only to be replaced by chanting: "BALT-SKAN-DI-O! BALT-SKAN-DI-O!"

"Huh." The eight faceless bureaucrats had unanimously forbidden the Paladins from watching the slightly earlier match before going out on the pitch, having gone so far as to order the whole team to remain in the locker room during that time, and then rewiring the locker room HD flatscreens so they were stuck on CartoonMANIA. Instead of watching Kagdazka and Pazhujebu take on bottom-dwelling Baltskandio, the Paladins had been treated to a replay of Tintin et les Picaros.

("Hey," Ed had shouted, "I'll bet anyone here 500 oz. that he'll eventually manage to overthrow General Tapioca.")

But the jumbrotron operator hadn't gotten the message, and had flipped the game onto the big screen. The stadium sounded like it had been full for awhile now, with none of the usual last-minute arrivals coming in right before the introductions. Brisebois, at the front of the crowd of players, was able to catch a glimpse of the highlights being replayed on one of the jumbotrons.

"HOLY S**T! THEY DID IT! 1-0!" screamed Brisebois. The rest of the players took up the cry as the bureaucrats shook their heads.

Brisebois had no idea what came over him next, but he found himself turning to face the rest of the side in the tunnels. "IF THEY DID IT, WE CAN DO IT!" The team had somehow turned to face him. "If Baltskandio can paste those c********r m************s, then we can DAMN WELL PASTE SOME CUBANS!"

"NMS! NMS!"

"WE ARE THE PALADINS!"

"NMS! NMS!"

"WE WERE ON TOP BEFORE THEIR FOUNDING FATHERS WERE A GLEAM IN THEIR FOUNDING GRANDFATHER'S EYES!"

"F**K BEDISTAN! F**K MILCHAMA!"

"IF BALTSKANDIO CAN HANDLE THOSE C********R M***********S, THEN WE CAN DAMN WELL PUT PAID TO WESTERN CUBA!"

"F**K KAGDAZKHA! F**K PAZHUJEBU!"

The crowd had quieted down enough for the announcer to start introducing the Paladins.

"And now! Tonight's captain! From City, starting at defensive midfielder, NUMBER 12, JOOOOCE-LYN BRIIIIISEBOIS!"

"EVERYBODY! WE CAN DO IT!" Brisebois screamed. Raising his fists above his head, Brisebois turned and began sprinting like mad down the tunnel, screaming "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGHH!" If Brisebois had looked behind him, which he didn't, he would have seen the entire team charging onto the pitch together right behind him. When Brisebois had said "everybody," they apparently thought it meant that "everybody should follow him." The announcer, without missing a beat, swung into his grand finale: "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOOOUR NEW! MONTREAL! STATES! PAAAAAALADINS!" The stadium was still screaming nonstop until 6:00 into play.

****

The problem with having a defensive midfielder as the psychic locus of your team is that it does f**k-all for your side's offensive. Although Brisebois and de la Ware were enforcing their will on the Western Cubans, and the rest of the back seven were following suit, this was not translating into offensive chances for the Paladins. Ed, Denny Roy and André Vaillancourt-Bosquet found themselves either stuck behind the play or chasing the ball down the pitch and into the keeper's mitts as neither Christian Ponder nor Pwin Charbonneau managed to feed them the ball successfully for most of the day. The "States lone goal was a result of the midfield keeping it in the house. After Cory Taylor managed to strip Fausto Garcia, he got the ball over to Laurent Thibault, who brought it up the pitch. The Western Cuban defense never allowed him a chance to connect with Ed, Denny Roy or Vaillancourt-Bosquet down the pitch, so he tapped it up to Ponder. This latter, along with Charbonneau, Ponder and Brisebois, had played a little game of keepaway for several minutes until Brisebois lapped Charbonneau and made his way down the pitch. Brisebois went right for the line, while Vaillancourt-Bosquet paralleled him on the opposite side while Ed and Denny Roy both ran to the outside to draw their defenders with them.

While Brisebois started running, Thibault fed Charbonneau, who in turn fed Brisebois at just the right second. Brisebois one-timed it in the general direction of the net, grateful to have gotten off as much as a shot, considering the way the game had gone so far. It took him a split second to hear the crowd roaring and realized he had scored, triggering a backflip. Three goals, three matches, and the Paladins were up 1-0 with a mere half-hour to play. Vaillancourt-Bosquet was promptly yanked in favor of the more defense-minded Martin Kennedy, and the parking of the bus was underway. The Western Cuba offense never got any traction against the NMS front eight, and before too long the final whistle echoed across the pitch.

Jocelyn Brisebois went into the mid-qualifers break as the most eligible bachelor in the 'States. How he'd fare in the second half was beyond him; but he certainly intended to reap the fruits of his labors during the break.

[Crotunda]

Eight games in qualifying have been played and Crotunda places in the middle of standings with a record of 2-3-3. The most recent game was a loss to Khytenna by a 3-2 score and it was a tough loss because the team played good against a very strong team. It was a back and forth game with Khytenna scoring early in the first half off a direct free kick into goal by Fergal Firestone but in the 27th minute Cesar Rodriguez scored off corner. After a 1-1 halftime score, Khytenna scored again on nice shot by Casey Thorne but ten minutes later our heroes saw their efforts pay off with a great play by Ramon Henriquez. The goalie stopped the shot but rebound went right to Carlos Montoya who had open net to tip it in. Sadly Khytenna scored in the 78th minute to win the game.