NukeMart

[Mephistophilia]

Your #1 Supplier of Everything Radioactive & Dangerous to World Peace!
We here at NukeMart are here to satisfly your nuclear needs. Whether you be a superpower, nuclear physisist, or crazy homicidal maniac bent on starting World War III, NukeMart is the place for you! We have everything from nuclear weapons to supplies to make your own doomsday devices. We gurantee low low prices everyday! No other company will supply you with cheaper and better quality nuclear weapons. (we are not liable for any deaths or destructions of cities in the case of misuse, mis-handling, or any other reason)

IN STOCK:

200 KG of uranium: $3999.99
800 KG of uranium: $15,999.99
1200 KG of uranium: $50,000.00
Custom quantity of uranium (over 1200 KGs): varies from $100,000 up

Nuclear bomb making kit: $1.2 million
Nuclear ICBM making kit: $5 million
Nuclear SLBM making kit: $6 million

Build your own doomsday device kit: $100 million

Pre-made Weapons:
Nuclear bomb: $50 million
Nuclear ICBM: $65 million
Nuclear SLBM: $70 million
Nuclear IRBM: $55 million

Warheads:
ICBM: $30 million
IRBM: $25 million
SLBM: $40 million

Radiation suits: $10,000 for 10 suits

Return Policy:
If you are not satisfied with your purchase, NukeMart will offer a full refund if you return the product.(detonated explosives will not be refunded)

[Abserdia]

Can i have 1000000 KG of uranium?
And maybe a note saying
"I'm going to end the world now, bye!"

[Cerbergo]

Federal Department of Disaster Management
From the office of Sedroy Belinskit

On behalf of the FDDM and the Federal government, I am placing an order for 60,000 radiation suits. I am assuming they are up to Federal safety standard. The money has been prepared and is ready to be sent.

[Mephistophilia]

Greetings Abserdia!

For such a large order, we would need the money up front, as well as time to evacuate essential staff to one of our bunkers. The total would come up to $41000000.00 (with the bulk discount) and would need to be wired to our Cypriaen account. In addition, the large amount you specified is not practical for refinement, and as such the refinement quality will have to be lower. We suggest that you buy a smaller quantity of higher refined product.

In regards to your second request, we can provide a custom note with the shipment. Gift-wrapping is also available.

With Regards,
Bob Muradur
Chief Manager

Any attacks on ourselves or our affiliate nations will result in termination of life, contract, and future business deals.

[Abserdia]

Greetings Abserdia!

For such a large order, we would need the money up front, as well as time to evacuate essential staff to one of our bunkers. The total would come up to $41000000.00 (with the bulk discount) and would need to be wired to our Cypriaen account. In addition, the large amount you specified is not practical for refinement, and as such the refinement quality will have to be lower. We suggest that you buy a smaller quantity of higher refined product.

In regards to your second request, we can provide a custom note with the shipment. Gift-wrapping is also available.

With Regards,
Bob Muradur
Chief Manager

Any attacks on ourselves or our affiliate nations will result in termination of life, contract, and future business deals.

I can't destroy the world?

[Mephistophilia]

Greetings FDDM of Cerbergo!

Yes, the Radiation suits we provide are Class A (Class 1 in some countries) HazMat suits. Here is a description of what is included per suit:
each suit is a fully encapsulating radiation entry suit with a full-facepiece self-contained breathing apparatus, and comes with boots with steel toes and shanks on the outside of the suit and specially selected chemical-resistant gloves. Each suit also comes with an internal two-way radio.

As you are representing a federal Disaster Management Agency, you qualify for both the bulk discount, and the Emergency Management discount. When applied, this brings your total to $60,000.

Your shipment has been loaded and is currently being transported by the Cypriaen Chemical Corps.

With Regards,
Bob Muradur
Chief Manager

[Mephistophilia]

Destroying the world is discouraged, but feel free to destroy some other world with our products, as aliens do not fall under our protection.

With Regards,
David Bowen
Director of External Affairs and Security

[Cerbergo]

Greetings FDDM of Cerbergo!

Yes, the Radiation suits we provide are Class A (Class 1 in some countries) HazMat suits. Here is a description of what is included per suit:
each suit is a fully encapsulating radiation entry suit with a full-facepiece self-contained breathing apparatus, and comes with boots with steel toes and shanks on the outside of the suit and specially selected chemical-resistant gloves. Each suit also comes with an internal two-way radio.

As you are representing a federal Disaster Management Agency, you qualify for both the bulk discount, and the Emergency Management discount. When applied, this brings your total to $60,000.

Your shipment has been loaded and is currently being transported by the Cypriaen Chemical Corps.

With Regards,
Bob Muradur
Chief Manager

Federal Department of Disaster Management
From the office of Sedroy Belinskit

We thank you for your services, and are pleased to inform you that the payments will be wired to your account momentarily. Once again, it was a pleasure doing business with you.

[Allied Connurist States]

What's an IRBM and an SLBM? I'm familiar with ICBMs though.

[United Allied Earth Federation]

Well take 500 SLBM

[Rawlincia]

What's an IRBM and an SLBM? I'm familiar with ICBMs though.

Submarine Launched Ballistic Missile.

[Discords Equstria]

How large is your premade ICBM stockpile? and how many are you willing to sell to one person?

[Nutcaseland]

Greetings,
The government of Nutcaseland would like to place an order of thirty SLBM's, as our Submarine fleet is rather large. The summed total is approximately $140 M. Thank you for your service! Please ship it to the port of Greevenland, Nutcaseland; that is our main Naval port.
Signed,
Derik Fraaderikjik
Minister of Defense

[The United Territories of Providence]

Is there room for negotiation on these prices? Perhaps a nuclear coupon?

[Firewind]

Firewind private message;
Recipient: Chief Manager Bob Muradur
Subject: Nuclear weapons purchase

Greetings,

Firewind finds itself with no nuclear weapons, and hence it will not be able to equal any enemies we face that do have nuclear weapons. Because of this, we would like to purchase 250 nuclear IRBMs, 30 nuclear ICBMs, and 6 nuclear bombs. The required 16 billion NSD will be wired to you upon confirmation of delivery.

[Mephistophilia]

NukeMart Electronic Message Dispersal System

To: Allied Connurist States
Electronic Receipt #754
IRBM= Intermediate-range ballistic missile
SLBM= A submarine-launched ballistic missile

Sincerely,
Customer Service

To: United Allied Earth Federation
Electronic Receipt #273
Your products are on your way. Please be advised that each nuclear shipment has a naval escort. This is both for your protection and ours.

With Regards,
Marz Zung
Manager

To: Discords Equstria
Electronic Receipt #463
Our premade stockpile comes from several sources, one of the main ones being patron nations. This information is confidential cannot be released. Our stockpile size is constantly changing and our store page will be updated if we run out of or gain something. While we don't have an official cap on how many ICBMs we sell, we reserve the right to deny our service for any or no reason. If you have any further inquiries, feel free to send a telegram to our office.

With Regards,
Frank Schmalleger
NukeMart Legal Division

To: Nutcaseland
Electronic Receipt #2043
Your shipment just left one of our secret supply bases. To help preserve the security of the base, your shipment may take up to a week to arrive. Please be advised that each nuclear shipment has a naval escort. This is both for your protection and ours.

With Regards,
Marz Zung
Manager

To: The United Territories of Providence
Electronic Receipt #29-4
We do offer some negotiation in our prices on a case by case basis. We also offer discounts such as bulk and government discounts.

Sincerely,
Customer Service

To: Firewind
Electronic Receipt #638286
Greetings!
Thank you for your purchase, your order is as follows:
250 Nuclear IRBMs
30 Nuclear ICBMs
6 Nuclear Bombs
Order Total: $16,000,000,000 NSD
Order Status: Confirmed. Items have shipped from one of our facilities. Please be advised that each nuclear shipment has an armed escort. This is both for your protection and ours.

With Regards,
Bob Muradur
Chief Manager

[The United Territories of Providence]

The Armed Forces of the United Territories of Providence is willing to make an offer.

Nuclear ICBM : 200
Nuclear SLBM: 50
Uranium: 3600 KG
Radiation suits: 100,000

We are willing to pay 15.8 Billion. But of course there is room for negotiation.

[Cypriae]

Greetings Armed Forces of the United Territories of Providence,

Your offer has been accepted and approved.

Your order is as follows:
Nuclear ICBM : 200
Nuclear SLBM: 50
Uranium: 3600 KG
Radiation suits: 100,000

The agreed price is $15.8 Billion. Your order has shipped from one of our facilities. Please be advised that each nuclear shipment has a military escort. This is for your protection and ours.

With Regards,
Draco Konig
Senior Sales Representative
This Message Was Sent From NukeMart Cyrpriae Branch

[Garengad]

From: The Imperial Department of Defense
To: NukeMart
I would like to request 20 Hazmat suits. in addition, 200 KG of uranium. We are fully prepared to pay the price. As soon as our order is accepted we will wire the money.
Defense Minister Vladimir Lenonov.

[Mephistophilia]

Sent Via the NukeMart Message Dispersal System

To: Garengad Defense Minister Lenonov
Thank you for your interest. Your order of the following has been approved:

20 HazMat suits (Class A)
200 Kg of Uranium (weapons grade)

Your order total is $23,999.99 Please send a wire transfer to our NukeMart account at the Cypriae National Bank.

Due to the relative small size of your order, we will be able to send it immediately by helicopter. Please be advised your shipment will have a helicopter gunship escort. This is for your safety and ours.

Internal Memorandum To: NukeMart Cypriae Branch
Hello Mr. Konig,
We here at NukeMart HQ appreciate you taking care of that that big order for us while we had server issues, it was a great help. I think I see a raise in your future!

Sincerely,
Lord Haliax
NukeMart CEO

[Rawlincia]

I would HIGHLY recommend NOT giving Nukes to everyone, at least do a backround check.

[South Arkana]

From: Commander Vasilichov of the South Arkanan Liberation Army (SALA)
To: Nukemart
Encryption Level: Maximum

Greetings! The SALA would like to purchase:

3 IRBM Warheads at 25 million NSD each
75 million NSD in total (up to 112.5 million NSD for express delivery)

Payment will be wired upon confirmation of shipment.

We are willing go pay up to 150% normal price for express delivery as well. Our goals of wiping out heretics and those who support them across the planet depends upon the success of this purchase. Should this deal be successful, expect the SALA as a repeat customer.

[Mephistophilia]

From: NukeMart HQ
To: Commander Vasilichov of the South Arkanan Liberation Army (SALA)

Greetings, Your order is being processed and may take longer than usual. While your extra payment is a good incentive, please be aware that we are being pressured by one of our patron nations (who we believe intercepted your message) to not have dealings with you. An emergency meeting of the NukeMart Board of Directors has been called to discuss your case, so be aware we are doing everything we can to resolve this.

Signed,
David Bowen, Director of External Affairs and Security
Frank Schmalleger, NukeMart Legal Division
Martin Black, Intergovernmental Liaison

[South Arkana]

From: NukeMart HQ
To: Commander Vasilichov of the South Arkanan Liberation Army (SALA)

Greetings, Your order is being processed and may take longer than usual. While your extra payment is a good incentive, please be aware that we are being pressured by one of our patron nations (who we believe intercepted your message) to not have dealings with you. An emergency meeting of the NukeMart Board of Directors has been called to discuss your case, so be aware we are doing everything we can to resolve this.

Signed,
David Bowen, Director of External Affairs and Security
Frank Schmalleger, NukeMart Legal Division
Martin Black, Intergovernmental Liaison

From: Commander Vasilichov of the SALA
To: Nukemart
Encryption Level: Maximum

We believe that the nation which contacted you *cough* Cypriae *cough* is attempting to prevent this purchase due to its involvment in our war against the heretics attempting to prevent us from gaining our independence. Should you allow such blatant political maneuvering, undoubtedly your reputation as a high-quality arms dealer would diminish, which is something none of us would want *wink wink*.

[Mephistophilia]

To: Commander Vasilichov
From: NukeMart HQ
Encryption: Alpha

Hello,

After much debate, the BoE has decided to approve part of your purchase. We currently have available 2 IRBM Warheads, which we will sell to you for a total of 75 Million NSD. We are currently involved in negotiations to receive a shipment of IRBM Warheads, and will contact you when they are available. Is this acceptable? We will be able to arrange secure transport of the product by way of your choice. Also, we can confirm that it was Cypriae who was pressuring us. They sent this coded message for us to pass along to you:

01110011 01110101 01110010 01110000 01110010 01101001 01110011 01100101 00100000 01100001 01110100 01110100 01100001 01100011 01101011 00100000 01101111 01101110 00100000 01101110 01101111 01110010 01110100 01101000 00100000 01101001 01101101 01101101 01101001 01101110 01100101 01101110 01110100 00101110 00100000 01000100 01100101 01100001 01110100 01101000 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01101000 01100101 01110010 01100101 01110100 01101001 01100011 01110011 00100001

Sincerely,
Lord Haliax
NukeMart CEO