*A holocommercial beams its way into the galaxy from somewhere in the Gamma Quadrant of the MWG*
The viewer sees a ninja, wearing a forehead protector, a mask that covers the lower half of his face, a green flak jacket over a two-piece grey-blue uniform, leaning casually on a wall. He is speaking to the camera now.
"Ladies and gentlemen of the galaxy! We are the Elemental Nations of Coredia! I trust you know what you want of us? No? Yes? If you don't know yet...you will soon!"
The ninja gets up from the wall and starts walking across a hallway. The camera follows him.
"You've all been hearing news of events around the Galaxy. The Rethast are infecting everyone they could get their hands on, and there's no antibiotic in sight. The Thirteen-excuse me, Fourteen Colonies, have created a force to combat a menace to their society. And worst of all, the galaxy is awash in piracy, petty warfare, and old grannies that struggle to carry their groceries home. So...you may ask: who are you gonna call?"
A couple of villain ninja crash into a window on the opposite side of the hallway, screaming obscenities and waving katanas. With a smooth, practiced movement, the announcer ninja pulls a pistol out of a holster and double-taps the enemy ninjas before they could take another step. *CRACK* *CRACK*
"Let's introduce ourselves. We are the Shinobi Corps of the Elemental Nations of Coredia." The ninja says as the enemies fall backwards with their brains blown out, the camera closing up on the ninja's face. "We're here to help you, citizens of the galaxy. No matter what the mission is, we will accomplish it, whether it's finding lost ships or getting rid of a national security issue. No matter if an enemy is a pirate, a user of supernatural powers, an unholy abomination from another dimension, or a black cat crossing your path, if there's a problem, we will solve it. No matter how tough our mission is, we'll never back down, nor will we give up, for that is our way of the ninja. Just contact us toll free now using this number:
010-8800-NINJA-STARS
And remember, we walk in the shadows of the valley of death so that YOU don't have to!"
Rates:
D-rank Mission:
These missions are simple, easy missions that any shinobi can do and are expected to have little or no danger, such as finding lost pets, working at a fast-food joint, breaking a strike, or similiar jobs. Down Payment required: 10,000 Ryo. Minimum Payment: 50,000 Ryo.
C-rank Mission:
These missions are expected to have a low level of danger. Bodyguard duty is an example of this rank. Down payment required: 150,000 Ryo. Minimum payment: 300,000 Ryo.
B-rank Mission:
These missions are expected to have a significant level of danger. Espionage, assassination of low-ranking targets, and low-intensity warfare are all examples of B-rank missions. Down payment required: 500,000 Ryo. Minimum Payment: 1,000,000 Ryo.
A-rank Mission:
These missions, usually assigned to high-ranking shinobi, are expected to have a reasonable chance of death and dismemberment. Assassination of high-value targets, high-intensity warfare, and infiltrations are examples of A-ranked missions. Down payment required: 1,000,000 Ryo. Minimum Payment: 50,000,000 Ryo.
S-rank Mission:
These missions are the most difficult and demanding of all the missions and has a high chance of horrific deaths. As a consequence, they are assigned to the best Shinobi in the Corps or large squads of Shinobi, depending on the specifics. Down Payment required: 500,000,000 Ryo. Minimum Payment: 1,000,000,000 Ryo.
Note: 1 Ryo = 10 USD, so make sure your calculations are right!
Fine Print:
When you call in for a mission, please ensure that you provide as much details of the mission requirements as you possibly can. This will help ensure that the bill you'll be sent won't overcharge you. We reserve the right to deny or terminate a mission at any time for any reason. We also reserve the right to deny refunds at any time for any reason. Failure to pay promptly will result in further charges and legal action, up to and including blacklisting and termination.
Actual mission charges are based on expected danger level, availability of shinobi and nature of the target (if any). A down payment will be required for all missions, regardless of rank. Missions requiring "unethical" procedures and situations will incur additional charges. Missions where ninjas are on opposite sides of a conflict will also incur additional charges and/or termination, depending on the nature of said missions and the judgement call of the ninjas on the ground. Complaints and Compliments can be delivered to the Communications Division of the Shinobi Corps at any time by calling 010-7770-COMMSENSES.
