My Alliance Sucks

[Fabanti]

OOC: Best. Thread. Ever.

What does this read make all of you?

Big damn heroes sir.

[Grays Harbor]

OOC: Best. Thread. Ever.

What does this read make all of you?

Big damn heroes sir.

MAL: Cut her down.
VILLAGE PATRON: The girl is a witch.
MAL: Yeah, but she's our witch. (Cocks gun) So cut her the hell down.

[Greto]

OOC:Greatest thread i have ever read

[Kaukolastan]

Dear Nations of The Directorate,

I am writing to express my clear discontent with your fickle promises and subtle disappointments. I must agree that your alliance does indeed suck. You promised my region ice cream! When the fuck did we get ice cream!!!? I am disappointed at your impudent lies, your slanderous behaviors, and most importantly, your cruel and unusual methods of tort...oh wait, that is my region, my most humble apologies.

Please just send us the ice cream and we shall be content.

Signed,
Der Fuhrer Dyszel ~%~

We're pleased to announce that our finest Ice Cream and Frozen Yogurt Megacorporation, Kream Dreams (they also are in the film business), has over 3000 flavors of wonderful ice cream for sale around the world, and the branches in your wasteland country are offering free scoops! Flavors include Chocolate Chip, Peppermint Swirl, and Fuck You Transnapastain! Stop on by, it's the choice of nine out of ten bombed out hellscapes!

do you want real ice cream sans all the milk from genetically modified cow-things? Would you prefer ice cream for the Confeds, which would most likely be beer, whiskey, or whiskey-beer flavored, and delivered in a carton endorsed by Gen Lee? From Nailiak, we can send you ice cream, but it'd have some kind of plant life in it, and taste like spearmint...or maybe people...cause Kailian, the crazy old fool, isn't too discriminating where he dumps the bodies...

Wait, knowing you as I do, I don't know why I asked mien Fuhrer , the booze-cream will be shipped at once.

We have no way of knowing that you'd send this communique to DFD, but our computers predict that you did. In reply, we state that you're a lying son of a bitch who sells subpar ice cream. Our ice cream is molecularly engineered to be the smoothest, creamiest, most delicious near-dairy product ever designed.

Well, you know us, always the war-monger....not like Kaukolastan over there, hes always prattling on about "subtle" and "control" To hell with that! We carry a big stick and you know we'll use it. Screw that "manipulate the populace into doing our bidding" garbage, and forget "hearts and minds" All I wanna hear about is "Fire and brass...and dumb bombs...mmm large unguided bombs..."

Oh sure, cause the best solution to every problem is the maximum degree of fire-fucking-power. How's that going for your education system, by the way? Or your economy? Last time I heard, when your stock market crashed, you napalmed it, and can't figure out why it won't make that cool "ding" noise over the screaming.

OMG this is excelent! Someone archive this thread!

It's always been here, in our hearts. Now it's out there, for all the world to see what turd-fuckers our allies are.

OOC: just like to say the reference you placed in your OP is from Firefly, i dont know the name of the episode but its the one where Jayne is a hero of some backwater mud making moon. Can i has cookie now

Normally, I couldn't give you a cookie, since Gray's Harbor already got one, but since the Confederacy STILL CAN'T READ, you can have one of theirs.

OOC: Best. Thread. Ever.

What does this read make all of you?

Big damn heroes sir.

Now if only we could get them to "an hero". Then we could sell their stuff cheaply.

OOC:Greatest thread i have ever read

OOC: Thank you, sir, and to all the others who've been enjoying this. If you want more Directorate Alliance roleplays, may I recommend a series we're working on called "The Sword of Eden". It's coming out piece by piece on the board, and while it's not as hilarious as this, it's quality work from the minds behind "My Alliance Sucks" and a couple of our friends. Click the colored name to link to the prelude thread. And watch for a little nation called Brazul, a friendly little place that's going to call down the thunder.

[Hardenburgh]

Someone has been drinking

[Nailiak]

Someone has been drinking

You, sir, are quite correct. These fools, especially Transnapastain, are indeed drinking....the Kool-Aide. Its a pity the Kool-Aide is made from the toxic pollutants they call water, not from the clean, clear, cool waters of Nailiak, undisturbed by human hands, under punishment of death.

[Blackhelm Confederacy]

This is awesome!

I LOL'd several times reading this hahaha

[Sailsia]

okay, this is pretty spamy to me....

[Transnapastain]

This is awesome!

I LOL'd several times reading this hahaha

Whats truly hilarious is how those tight-pants, anal-retentive, fuckbuckets over in Kaukolastan think they're so great, they don't even realize no one likes them.

I'm going to tell you something, Darth Killian, did you know, around the border region of our two nations..well, my nation and your pristine dystopia, its common for youths to sneak across the border and piss in your rivers. Yeah, that's right, there's PEE in your WATER. What now, Old Man?

Whats that K-Stan, you got some "genetically modified near dairy" ice cream? What does that even mean. If its not dairy, its not ice cream. Why don't you try, I don't know, NOT gene-vamping every life form, INCLUDING THE HUMANS, in your nation? I'm pretty sure you all suffer from OCD, in fact, our doctors are pretty sure if it was discovered a person in your nation didn't have obsessive compulsive disorder to thee umpteenth degree, you'd fucking punk them in the gene-tank and GIVE it to them!

And, you know what? Speaking of your computers. When was the last time you did ANYTHING your computers told you not to do. If your massive oh-so-smart computers are so great, why didn't they "predict" a particular head of state was going to get a man-hole lodged up his ass via a shaped charge while riding in his limo? Because of your computers, we're all behind schedule on getting the second generation fusion reactors up and going, because YOU said, "Sure, we can go to the moon and get ALL the H³ we need, we'll be back in a jiffy!" Bullshit, cock-wringer. We're still waiting. Frickin Killian over there is killing people at an, for him, alarm rate over this.

Though, the Conferral isn't suffering too much because of this. Given that they just figured out that they could use steam to power a friggen train.

We ARE doing just fine with our "fire an brass" policy towards all domestic issues, thank you very much. I'm sorry, what was that about our economy, we couldn't hear you over the sound of ALL THE PRODUCTION WE HAVE, yes, that's it, so much money, there's nothing wrong with our economy, nothing at all, why would you even think that....look over there, a puma!

[Transnapastain]

okay, this is pretty spamy to me....

OOC: I'm sorry you feel that way. Purely meant for IC, roleplay humor, consider it a release of internal memorandums if you like.

IC: We think you're right. You should tell Kaukolastan to stop spamming the market with his new useless invention and "near-dairy" products. That just sounds gross.

[Jenrak]

OOC: I'm hoping this is an IC rant, because if it's OOC then this is cause for quite a few actions, despite all the compliments (my own included). If it is an IC rant, then remember to use OOC, guys, otherwise another mod may be linked here and confuse it for a legitimate rant. If you guys don't mind all the OOC compliments, then I won't either, but I suggest an OOC thread to deposit all this stuff.

[Transnapastain]

OOC: I'm hoping this is an IC rant, because if it's OOC then this is cause for quite a few actions, despite all the compliments (my own included). If it is an IC rant, then remember to use OOC, guys, otherwise another mod may be linked here and confuse it for a legitimate rant. If you guys don't mind all the OOC compliments, then I won't either, but I suggest an OOC thread to deposit all this stuff.

OOC: As you saw, and responded to, in moderation, the rants are strictly IC. I, and I'm pretty sure K-stan, do not have an issue with people commenting with their lawls OOCly here, though, if you think it prudent to establish an OOC thread, I definitely will. I know I speak for every member of the Directorate when I say that we orchestrated this last night for the pure humor, and to give II a good laugh.

EDIT: Changed do to do not. My mistake.

[Grays Harbor]

okay, this is pretty spamy to me....

Then you have no clue what "spam" is. seriously. none. at all.

[Jenrak]

OOC: I'm hoping this is an IC rant, because if it's OOC then this is cause for quite a few actions, despite all the compliments (my own included). If it is an IC rant, then remember to use OOC, guys, otherwise another mod may be linked here and confuse it for a legitimate rant. If you guys don't mind all the OOC compliments, then I won't either, but I suggest an OOC thread to deposit all this stuff.

OOC: As you saw, and responded to, in moderation, the rants are strictly IC. I, and I'm pretty sure K-stan, do not have an issue with people commenting with their lawls OOCly here, though, if you think it prudent to establish an OOC thread, I definitely will. I know I speak for every member of the Directorate when I say that we orchestrated this last night for the pure humor, and to give II a good laugh.

EDIT: Changed do to do not. My mistake.

OOC: If you guys don't have an issue with all the OOCness here, then neither do I.

Cheers.

[Transnapastain]

OOC: I'm hoping this is an IC rant, because if it's OOC then this is cause for quite a few actions, despite all the compliments (my own included). If it is an IC rant, then remember to use OOC, guys, otherwise another mod may be linked here and confuse it for a legitimate rant. If you guys don't mind all the OOC compliments, then I won't either, but I suggest an OOC thread to deposit all this stuff.

OOC: As you saw, and responded to, in moderation, the rants are strictly IC. I, and I'm pretty sure K-stan, do not have an issue with people commenting with their lawls OOCly here, though, if you think it prudent to establish an OOC thread, I definitely will. I know I speak for every member of the Directorate when I say that we orchestrated this last night for the pure humor, and to give II a good laugh.

EDIT: Changed do to do not. My mistake.

OOC: If you guys don't have an issue with all the OOCness here, then neither do I.

Cheers.

OOC: We appreciate your blessing and complements.

IC: See K-stan, see what you've done, your arrogance has gone and got the international police called upon us. If your governments collective heads weren't lodged up its collective ass, and might I had that each one of those heads is allotted the EXACT SAME space, measured down to the millimeter, using the SAME amount of oxygen, measured down to the smallest unit possible, you'd understand that you're petty defenses are futile. You are merely a nation of anal-retentive pricks who are on a massive power trip. How'd that feel? Did your computers see that coming, assbag?

Or maybe it was you that brought the heat, Killian, with your death threats, waving that sword of compensation State around like that. Chill out, go have some of your "water", just remember what I said...Transnapastaini pre-pubescent piss flows through your waters. Score!

And you say we act more holier than thou! cause we are...holier than everyone in fact, infidels.