NS World News- Your nation's news

[Umbra Viri]

Umbra Viri Inbox
NATO Forces land in Israel
Today soldiers landed in Israel as part of Operation Goliath. The IDF is attempting to defend, while Gaza has already fallen. The wall how ever is still up, and is to be torn down after the war. Israeli casualties are in the thousands as A-10's bombard there positions and destroy Iron Dome Defensive Systems. The Umbra Viri Navy is also sending in fifteen Mig-29's and Su-25's to supply CAS and to make sure that the enemies don't get air control. The liberation is expected to end by the July 20th. The Prime Minister of Israel calls the attack "A blatant attack on Judaism and an attempt to start another holocaust." Umbra Viri's reason is to reunited Gaza and Israel, through any means possible.

[Rouge Dawn]

Rouge Dawn News
Blue Ridge Mountain Work Camp Fire Bombed
At 3:30 Local time a squad of fighters deployed Napalm, and White Phosphorus on the work camp. No Rouge Dawn Military forces where injured. Soldiers inspected the smoldering remains, no high security or political prisoners where found in the remains. Which means they are most likely in the American part of Chattanooga, or Nashville. All the prisoners where killed as well as the insurgents that where inside. Rouge Guards are currently starting to organize labor and clean the area and rebuild it. Death totals can be expected to enter the thousands, and surviors are being put out of there misery.


White Phosphorus exploding at a camp lumber yard

The former Rouge Guard Commander that defected is not among the dead, he is currently wanted.
The scripture of the bombing raid will be released soon.

Bounties
The following is a bounty of the wanted who escaped the prison.

WANTED
Rouge Guard Commander Collin Micheal
Wanted For Treason and Assisting the Enemy
The Rouge Guard Commander use to be a squad leader but was sent to guard the work camp after he had conversations with Prisoners.

[Rouge Dawn]

Rouge Dawn News
Eastern Coast under State of Emergency
Soldiers are locking down all of the East Coast and under full lock down, Floyd Pinkerton ordered that a man hunt for the escaped Political Prisoners. Soldiers are hunting for them, police raids are happening in Chattanooga, Atlanta, Pittsburgh, and Montgomery. Soldiers are also increasing Border Patrols with helicopter patrols and Aircraft patrols. Snipers are also hiding in the bushes along the border.

Soldiers are looking for a Honda Odyssey 2021 Model that is gold. They are expecting to be up to six people in the vehicle. Floyd Pinkerton released a Statement about the issue

Today Rouge Dawn is faced with a major issue. Terrorism, several prisoners escaped. They are in the east coast, and are armed. We have air patrol, and K9 Units on the ground sniffing them out. The six prisoners where reputed for helping kill children by bombing an orphanage. They are hoping to spread more terror from America. We urge the public to let the Civil Guard take care of this, and not approach the prisoners.

[Moorburgh]

Moorburgh Government Gazette President Eldridge Tippingston today signed Executive Order No 2-7/ 2014. It will be some change & new establishment entities in Moorburgh Government. Establishment of Office of Commissioner of Healthcare President Tippingston today announce former COO Thormill Healthcare Ltd., Dr. Weslan Handau as Moorburgh first Commissioner of Healthcare. Dr Handau, 52, with vast experience in civil health care and health issue was a stark selection to appoint as Commissioner of Healthcare. Establishment of Data Protection, and Enforcement Advisory Committee DPEAC will consist seven members include chairperson. They serves to counsel the President on all issues referred to the issue of the Personal Data Protection, and Enforcement Administration and advice on any issue referred by the President. Yet, the President is not bound by the advice of the Advisory Committee. Appointment of members to the DPEAC by the president and not exceed three (3) years, but no member shall hold office for two consecutive terms. Dr Leonard Neil Shaud, former President, Otaiview Technologies, was getting the nod by the president to be first chair to new created Data Protection, and Enforcement Advisory Committee (DPEAC). DPEAC members include Brigadier Jeffrey Mathew Dock, Commandant, Defense IT Institute – DITI and Kim Damon Colcher, Government Communication & Codeworks Agency representative.

[Rouge Dawn]

Rouge Dawn News
GOTCHA!
Near Chattanooga a Predator UAV destroyed the van that was carrying the escaped prisoners. The UAV fired 2 hell-fire missiles and scored two direct hits, no civilians where killed. All six occupants where killed by the blast. Soldiers quickly swarmed the area and open fired on the car, killing anyone inside. Five hundred M4 rounds where used against the vehicle. The six bodies where recovered, they died because of three things Smoke inhalation, gun wounds, and burns. They are being burned in a furnace to prevent a shrine being established.

One driver remarked on it by saying "One second I'm driving behind this car, I hear a Jericho siren scream I look up and see two missiles. One hits the car in front of me, the other does the same. I screech to a stop and watch as a car pulls over and men come out and start shooting the car. Then all the sudden the car's front explodes, I hear screaming, moans and groans as the soldiers took them out. It was terrifying."



A helicopter takes pictures from above

The soldiers in the squad where Special Forces from the 1st Infantry Brigade. They reportedly where following the car in different vehicles. Snipers where reported being spotted in the tree shooting the vehicle's tires when the missile was about to hit.

India Calls For Cease Fire
Today India called for a cease fire, all of India's allies are destroyed, or maimed as Rouge Dawn blitzkriegs its way towards victory. India's naval power is gone with the two aircraft carriers it had sunk. Ten thousand Indian Soldiers where killed, 3,000 are missing. The negotiation for peace are expected to begin on the 16th of July.

[Rouge Dawn]

Rouge Dawn News
LDShadowLady, KrismPro, and TheRPGMinx Are Alive
Nashville today reported that the Blue Ridge Camp Trio are indeed alive. A source in Nashville interviewed then on the incident. They all seem to be in good health. They talked about the battle that went on. Floyd Pinkerton was informed of this and he has released a statement

The problem with these three people, is they have no respect for Rouge Dawn. They spit on our name, they threaten us with war. There have been reports of one of them executing one of our soldiers without mercy. The final solution is here, shell them with Jericho Class Cruise missiles, they will die or be wounded, they will learn not to stand up against the power.

Jericho Class Missiles are reportedly being prepared to be launched. From the RDN Revenge. A land invasion will not be conducted.

[Umbra Viri]

Umbra Viri Inbox
Neo-Nazis March in Santiago
Recently today, a Neo-Nazi march in Santiago lead to a riot. The Neo-Nazis reportedly beat down any resistance in there way. Umbra Viri riot police had to be called into help defeat the rioters. Twenty people are dead, three of them LGBT, two of them Jewish, the rest were Neo-Nazis. The Police Department released this statement on the riots "The riots which were started by violent Neo-Nazis damaged Downtown Santiago. We are putting a curfew in place. People are being encouraged to report any violence to the police."

[Rouge Dawn]

Rouge Dawn
Cornwall Uprising
Cornwall today attempted a uprising in response for the arrest of a comedian in Plymouth. The Uprisings started in Ivybridge. Reports say that a couple open fired on a military transport. Thirteen soldiers where killed. SWAT was called into there area only to be met with heavy resistance. The rioters quickly started heading along on the A38, trying to spread chaos, several military jets where called in. The jets fired on the vehicles. Soldiers started a road block and stopped the uprising. Hundreds of rebels are killed.

[Eurrussia]

Eurussia Today
Riots in Moscow

Moscow hits a new riot when a citizen shot down a fan in a convention when the citizen stole it from a officer and riots spawned when a officer gunned down 2 people when they were fighting. The riots killed 20 officers and 1 soldier was killed. Genfin decided to close down as many conventions so, it will not cause more riots and decided to send in soldiers with tear gas to stop the riots. Genfin will announce that all international conventions will be banned and have their own conventions and separate the fandoms so, it will end the fighting and Emails will be under government control to stop spam and hate mails. This problem will be more focused on.

[Fatatatutti]

Presidential candidate Fish was visiting Prime Minister Schuyler Marmish in hospital today, where she is recovering from injuries sustained in a street luge accident. The meeting has led some commentators to speculate that they were meeting to discuss possible collaboration after the election. Neither would confirm or deny the rumours.

Candidate Fish continues to widen his lead over his rival Alphonse, who has now advanced into a clear second place ahead of the only human candidate, Beatrix "Kiddo" Harper. Several analysts are openly predicting a Fish victory while Alphonse supporters point to his recent upsurge as the beginning of a trend.

Political scientists at Fatatatutti University (FU) have suggested that having either a fish or a duck for President is not unprecedented since a small dog was once elected to Parliament. (He was not, however, re-elected to a second term.) The eventuality of a non-human President doesn't seem to present any major problems, since the President's only role is to dissolve Parliament in case of an impasse, a role which has not been exercised in living memory.

Some have suggested that the electorate is not taking the election seriously and that that attitude - coupled with the fact that the nation "forgot" to elect a President for almost a decade - suggests that it is time to abolish the office of President. Others point out that the ascendancy of Fish over Alphonse suggests a preference for substance over style. Fish is widely seen as the more intellectual candidate whereas Alphonse's support is largely based on his personality.

Alphonse, who is a personal friend of the Prime Minister, has not been seen in her presence since the election began. He is expected to make his usual appearance at the Piggly Wiggly this afternoon.

Ms. Harper could not be reached for comment as she had taken her grandchildren to the beach for the day.

The Prime Minister is expected to recover fully from her injuries.

[Rouge Dawn]

Rouge Dawn News
Operation Cutting out the Dead Wood begins
Police across the Empire of Rouge Dawn begin to cut down on the Neo-Pagans in an effort to get rid of the old traditions. The Operation was initiated on the anniversary of the execution of Rebecca Nurse a pagan. The only difference is religion isn't a pushing force. The main force here is to get everyone into line, and weed out these weak scum. Floyd Pinkerton personally asked for this mission to be started. Soldiers are being deployed to various sites to arrest any Wiccans, Pagans etc who come near. Floyd Pinkerton released a statement on the operation.

Today citizens of Rouge Dawn can feel safer. These scum who are lesser then us are being removed, we are killing them off. All of the Pagan scum will be sent to work camps. These scum have been housing queers, and Jews. We are shining our lights on them. They are now to be killed off, one by one. No exceptions, we will hunt them down to there primitive houses capture them, the kids, weak, and women. NO EXCEPTIONS!

Floyd Pinkerton makes appearance in Atlanta
Floyd Pinkerton made a speech to crowds in Atlanta before quickly leaving

Good Evening Atlanta. When I first came here you were "diverse" in a bad way. I hope you all adapted well to the giant change. We brought you peace and prosperity. Crime is at a record low because those parties we removed aren't here anymore. Soldiers are helping you guys out. When I left here in 2019 you guys where throwing stones at the flag bearers. We are now proud of you guys. You are a true Rouge Dawn story, a story of hope.

Floyd Pinkerton did the hammer salute and left, the Rouge Dawn Army did a parade after the Supreme Leader Left.

[Sobreva]

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LIBRARY OPENS IN STOVSKE

by Perova Kirillovna

STOVSKE, MARALTA - The Socialist Workers Party of Maralta today has announced the opening of the Ilyich Book Repository in Stovske. The Repository carries many different pieces of literature ranging from tales of BDSM, to books on quantum mechanics and process engineering. The S.W.P. hopes the new library will encourage students and teachers of all ages to educate themselves further.

Citizens wishing to enter into the library must present their national identification card. Foreigners are welcome also, but are required to pay a 115 ¤ (ruble) fee at the door. Books may be borrowed by citizens for a maximum of one week. Reservations for books may be made as well. Citizens may request a one week renewal if necessary, but any book that has been reserved may not be renewed.

More libraries are expected to open in the coming months. For more information about the Ilyich Library, located in Stovske, Maralta, please contact the library directly. The phone number can be found on page A1.

[Scow Creek]

19 JULY / 20 JUL SC
For immediate Release

THOUSANDS OF CUBIC YARDS OF SPOILS DUMPED IN TISÓ IQEPO WLDERNESS AREA

CHERRY GROVE, SCOW CREEK: Several thousand tons of dredge spoils have mysteriously been dumped on the eastern end of the Tisó Iqupo Wilderness area in the Kingdom of Scow Creek, and no one is quite sure how they got there.

The spoils were discovered by three fishermen who had headed out to the area to fish for stripers, currently enaged in their seasonal run along the Kingdom's barrier beaches.

"We were cruising east towards the furthest end of the wilderness area, when suddenly these sand mountains came into view," said Ryan Quinn, captain of the Quinn Sea. "I was here just last week, and this was all low and flat."

According to Quinn and his crew, there were no dredging vessels, barges or other large ships in the area.

The wilderness area, while open to the public, serves as both a natural preserve for nesting seabirds and as a productive fishing and shellfishing area for residents.

"The tern nesting areas are completely wiped out," added Quinn, who also reported seeing thousands of hardshell clams, oysters, and scallops mixed in with the dumped spoils.

According to Todd McMillan with the Scow Creek Coast Guard, no dredging was planned and the appearance of spoils is a mystery. "The presence of shellfish suggest that someone dredged the bays behind the barrier island, or the channel that separates us from Qúpsóg" he suggested.

The wilderness area represents the furthest reaches of the Kingdom of Scow Creek, and is separated from the neighboring Kingdom of Qúpsóg by a narrow shipping channel. Hundreds of years ago the two Kingdoms were connected, but a winter storm breached the beach and divided them. The breach has since grown in depth and width, and has become a major shipping lane. The nature of the shifting channel between Scow Creek and Qúpsóg has long resulted in an ill-defined border between the Kingdoms, though both have used the channel without incident. The two nations have divergent - and clashing - cultures, as Qúpsóg (or "Cupsogue" in the native tongue) has developed into a wealthy, highly-regulated summer playground for wealthy transients.

As of press time, a spokesmen from the Governing Club of Cupsogue declined comment.

[Fatatatutti]

"It's all sewn up," according to a statistician at Fatatatutti University (FU). "The election is as good as over and Fish is the winner, statistically speaking."

Other analysts are less certian. While admitting that Fish's lead is close to overwhelming, they point out that it's votes that count, not statistics.

One commentator wearing a "Vote Fluffy" button pointed out that Alphonse had an upsurge of votes in the latter stages of the last election that moved him up from a distant third place to a respectable third place. Some are hoping for a similar situation this time out since Alphonse voters tend to be as unreliable as their candidate.

When Alphonse missed another Presidential election debate last night, scheduled to be the second last in the series, some of his supporters insisted that at least he's reliably absent.

A development in the campaign which could be significant is the use of Alphonse's baby pictures, both as a duckling and an egg, and the use of his childhood nickname, Fluffy. At first, some voters seemed confused, thinking the yellow duckling named Fluffy was a new candidate, but an intensive Internet effort along with much grape-licking has eased concerns in that area.

Beatrix "Kiddo" Harper, the only human candidate, now running third, continues to keep a low profile, knitting during debates and nodding appreciatively when Fish says, "Bloop!"

The election is expected to wrap up soon when everybody who wants to vote has voted often enough.

[Rouge Dawn]

Rouge Dawn News
Operation Cutting Out The Dead Wood a Success
Rouge Guards and Special Forces across Rouge Dawn cracked down on Paganism. Five Thousand people where arrested, and to be executed by hanging, gas chamber, or firing squad. Rouge Guards also burned down any Pagan owned stores. Up to five hundred Pagans are dead. Rouge Guards suffered no casualties. Special Forces and SWAT reported that they spotted several thousand Pagans entering America or Russia to avoid the great purge. The American and Russian Government reported a sudden swell of refugees recently. Rouge Dawn has plans to do airstrikes on the Pagan Refugee camps. The second part of the Operation which is to exterminate all the Pagans is in effect, the first execution is planned at 8:00Pm RDST (Rouge Dawn Summer Time) The executions will be public, they type of execution will be hanging.

Rouge Guards Accused Once Again of Brutality
Chattanooga- The American Government accuse the Rouge Guards of police brutality. In the aftermath of Operation Cutting Out the Dead Wood, people in America have been protesting the Rouge Guard, and the police. They claim that Rouge Dawn was a Neo-Nazi organization. They claimed that Rouge kills random people with no reason. Rouge Dawn is none of that. Rouge Dawn police cleaned up problem. Floyd Pinkerton ordered that all the protesters be shot on the spot, for these traitors do not deserve to exist.

[Crysuko]

Direct intervention: Necessary?
minister for way Alueck Sangh reports intervention on the United States of Natan is likely after a violent coup seized the country. A plan has allegedly been drawn for a full scale invasion, but the foreign office is billing the force as peacekeepers.

Self-propelled guns on the move towards the docks, coastal City of Senerra.

But with the volume of men and machines being poured into this operation, this is unlikely to be the truth. Although accurate statistics are scarce right now, an estimated 3 million troops along with the naval means to transport them have been summoned along with a significant air force as well. According to independent photography, large sections of main battle armour, APCs, IFVs and other types of armour have been seen boarding military transport craft. In terms of navy, many aircraft carriers and heavy vessels have been confirmed to be going along as well.

But although this may well look like a full-on invasion, if it is co-operation with a government in exile in order to bring the original back to power, many believe this to be justified. Only time will tell for now, we will keep you posted on new developments.

[Rouge Dawn]

Rouge Dawn News
Gay Pride Parade Stopped
Up to a hundred LGBT are dead as Rouge Guards stopped them from doing a violent parade. Rouge Guards attempted to stop a NYC Gay Pride Parade but was met with a dangerous response as Molotov cocktails where thrown. The parade also "asked" for education for the LGBT scum. The Aryan Anglo First Bill which states that the all LGBTQ people can not go to college, go to school, or go to a doctor for help. The riots ended with Rouge Guards arresting one thousand LGBT scum. Also arrested where three hundred Jews. who are being put to hard work.

Rouge Guards quickly released a statement on the incidient.

The New York City Riots, where violent. Rouge Guards killed one hundred people. But however New York City is under control. There is a curfew in effect.

[Scow Creek]

20 JULY / 21 JUL SC
For immediate Release

SPOILS LINKED TO ILLEGAL CHANNEL DREDGING BY QÚPSÓG

CHERRY GROVE, SCOW CREEK: The mountains of dredge spoils that were found on the eastern end of the Tisó Iqupo Wilderness area by three fishermen yesterday apparently originated from a “midnight dredging operation,” according to Scow Creek Coast Guard Commandant Raúl Rivera.

Rivera confirmed that there were no dredging operations planned anywhere in the area, an operation that is normally carried out with the involvement of both the Coast Guard and the Ministry of the Environment.

According to Rivera, the Coast Guard dispatched an immediate investigation and discovered considerable changes in the charted channel depth of the Orišesmo Channel, which separates the Wilderness area from the neighboring Kingdom of Qúpsóg.

“This channel is normally thirty feet wide and ten to twelve feet deep at mean high water, and it is at least twice as deep and perhaps a hundred feet across now. It also has been extended and has destroyed a productive shellfishing flat on the back side of the islands, before suddenly running east towards Qúpsóg. This eastern extension is an entirely new channel.”

When asked if he suspected the operation to have originated in Qúpsóg, the Commandant replied, “We are investigating all possibilities.”

The Scow Creek Environment Ministry estimates that shellfish with a retail value of at least USD 400,000 (1.6 million Mill) was destroyed in the operation. The ministry confirmed that Environment Minister Tódd Ericksén left on a morning boat for an emergency meeting with officials at the Governing Club of Cupsogue.

Meanwhile, local consensus points the finger squarely at that kingdom. Speaking in a nearby coffee shop, local resident Ame Gold said, “You know it’s those arrogant bastards in Qúpsóg…they probably just wanted deeper waterways for their damned yachts….and you don’t think they’d dump the stinking spoils, with rotting fish and clams, on their own precious beach, do you?”

Two days into the incident, the Governing Club of Cupsogue continues to decline comment.

[Rouge Dawn]

Rouge Dawn News
Blue Ridge Traitors Release a Statement
Recently the escaped traitors that escaped from the Blue Ridge Work Camps released a statement.

To Rouge Dawn
Your country will cease to exist within the next 20 or so years. We will make sure of it. We want your reign of terror to end, we know what you are capable of. Death, and terror. You continue to slaughter Jews, LGBTQ, Blacks, The Weak, Disabled, People who disagree with you. We want you to know what you are dealing with. Fire, we are a fire, we can't be put out, we will destroy your nation. You can do the following to stop this.
-Allow Free Elections
-Stop your mindless persecution
-Freedom of Speech and more Political Rights
-Stop your persecution of people who speak out against you
Signed Restore the Old Order

The Rouge Guard is being ordered to weed out the people who sent out this letter. Soldiers are also increasing border security, near Chattanooga and Montgomery in the chance of any sleeper agents entering area. Rouge Guards are also on high alert in case of a riot started by this

[Lysset]

News of the Wanderers' Confederation of Lysset

June 23, 2014: WILDFIRES RAVAGE HOMES IN EN SHALA'I SUBURB

EN SHALA'I - Tragedy befell hundreds of En Shalaites as a wildfire sparked by a dry lightning storm and intensified by an unusually dry and windy summer destroyed several homes in a suburb of En Shala'i before the flames could be brought under control by the Unified Fire Authority earlier this morning.

"This is a serious tragedy for everyone involved," said Ara'Nadis nar Lysset, head of the En Shala'i Fire Department, "not just for the families who lost their homes and belongings."

Political Satirists Halas Adhani and Erek Adoven also made satirical remarks about the blaze, stating that "This is why no one wants to build an embassy in En Shala'i!", before admonishing their viewers to donate to a relief fund set up by several Lyssetani citizens to help those who were left homeless by the fire, which currently has raised 3,000 Gold Loscus.

Currently, three people are known to have been killed by the blazes.

[Thaxanos]

Thaxanos resigns from the WA.

On July 8th, 2014 Alexander Hawke the king of Thaxanos spoke to the Maned Wolf National News about his decision to withdraw Thaxanos from the WA. The following is the recorded interview with Alexander.


"Over the past few months since the dissolvent of the Senate, I've tried to lead Thaxanos in a direction that would most benefit its people.
One of these decisions was to join the WA, which at the time was an ok decision since its resolutions helped the stabilization of Thaxanos after the end of the civil war.

After reviewing most of the WA's many resolutions and along with the advice of my ministers I've come to the conclusion that some of its resolutions are too restrictive and it takes days to pass anything. Some of the proposed resolutions are not well written and some of the ones that are passed are repealed within a few weeks of being passed. Thaxanos must regain it's full sovereignty and the WA prevents this.

It's because of these reasons as well as others that that I'm recalling the delegates and withdrawing Thaxanos from the WA.

Any further questions can me sent to the Thaxanos FA minister, Pyral Harrowmont."

That concludes the interview with Alexander, we hope you stay tuned so we can keep you informed of any breaking news within Thaxanos.
This is the Maned Wolf National News agency, signing off.

[Scow Creek]

24 JULY / 25 JUL SC
For immediate Release

QÚPSÓG ADMITS TO DREDGING INCIDENT, DENIES VALIDITY OF SCOW CREEK KINGDOM

CHERRY GROVE, SCOW CREEK: The visit by Scow Creek Environment Minister Tódd Ericksén to the Governing Club of Cupsogue revealed not only the source of the mountains of dredge spoils that were found on the eastern end of the Tisó Iqupo Wilderness, but also resulted in a shocking press statement by the neighboring kingdom denying the validity of the Scow Creek Kingdom’s authority.

After several days of intense and reportedly heated discussions, Ericksén reported that officials of the Governing Club admitted to the midnight dredge operation of the channel separating the nations, as well as the dumping of the spoils on Scow Creek territory. The Governing Club issued a statement of its own, however, revealing a perspective that could spell brewing trouble between the Kingdoms.

A statement by Kín Woodhouse, CEO of the WoodHouse Financial Corporation and spokesman for the Governing Club, said,

“It is the position of the people of Cupsogue that the Scow Creek government is the result of an illegal rebellion and treasonous, cowardly act of arson against its rightful authorities. It is beyond legal question that the lands under the control of Scow Creek were deeded by the continental Federation to the people of Woods Point, who were driven out simply for asserting their lawful rights to the land. Our people have resettled in Cuspogue, where we have been welcomed and rebuilt our businesses and lives. We are outraged that the Scow Creek ‘Monarchy’ is once again harassing us simply for going about our daily basis.

It was necessary to dredge the navigation channels for our more robust vessels to safely pass, and as we continue our legal claim to the lands controlled by Scow Creek, it was entirely within our right to place them in this undeveloped location where no one would be impacted.”

The residents of Woods Point were driven out of Scow Creek after an attempt by the wealthy community to control the winter oil supplies, block land and water passage by members of the other 25 communities, and an attempt at a massive eminent domain project to build a highway through the communities. Most “Pointers,” as they were called, re-settled in Cupsogue 10 years ago and quickly gained controlled of the governing structures of the more laid-back, native Cupsoguans.

King Tuathal I of Scow Creek has called the Assembly into a rare summer session to discuss the Kingdom’s response to the statement.

[Scow Creek]

26 July / 27 July SC

Editorial: Qúpsóg Dredging: Something Missing
Brus Mikl, Editor

Yes, there are thousands of pounds of dredge spoils missing from the seafloor. And yes, up to 1.6 Mill worth of shellfish is now missing from our productive bays. But that’s not all.

The recent response by Governing Club of Cupsogue to the overtures of Scow Creek's Minister of the Environment should not be dismissed as a childish outburst designed to undercut Scow Creek’s authority. The response is a cleverly-designed ruse to deflect attention from the unanswered question as to why this incident happened in the first place.

Oh, sure, Clubhouse spokesman Kín Woodhouse made it clear in his press statement:

“It was necessary to dredge the navigation channels for our more robust vessels to safely pass…”

And therein lies the question: What “robust vessels?”

The reality is that the working and pleasure craft of Scow Creek – fishing vessels, trawlers, Coast Guard patrol boats, cargo and trade ships – have all been using the Orišesmo Channel without incident for years. The pleasure yachts owned by the wealthy scions of Qúpsóg are impressive and imposing – but they do not have drafts that extend more than 10 feet below the waterline. According to our own Coast Guard, the channel was dredged to a depth of almost 24 feet. As any of our local mariners could affirm, there is not a single vessel in all of Qúpsóg that has a draft that deep.

To object to and decry the trespass of dumped spoils and the destruction of shellfish beds and tern nesting grounds is a legitimate response by our officials. But let us not be so focused on these tragedies that we miss the bigger picture here: The Woodhouse financial industry does not spend money for the hell of it, and certainly not without expectations of a healthy monetary reward. This was not a routine dredging operation to safeguard existing pleasure yachts.

Before the current diplomatic maneuvers end, we must turn our attention to what is glaringly missing from this story: a legitimate explanation as to what kind of “robust vessels” are preparing to enter Qúpsóg.

Brus Mikl is the Editor of the Scow Creek Island News.

[Rouge Dawn]

Rouge Dawn News
United States Destroyer sunk
About 2 Kilometers off the coast of Virginia Beach a Zumwalt class destroyer was sunk by several Rouge Dawn fighter jets, the ship entered Rouge Dawn waters which extends to 20 Kilometers of the coast. The ship sunk in 12 meters of water. Twelve people where killed when a missile hit the ships bridge. Everyone else was captured and is being deported back to the United States, divers are recovering personal items, bodies and intelligence. The ship sunk at 5:00 pm local time. The ship is being planned to be salvaged and to be brought into Rouge Dawn use. The American Government responded to the incident with this statement

The sinking of the US Zumwalt is outrageous. The ship was patrolling the area for a crash C-130 that was American. The ship was not combat ready. It was in Rouge Dawn Waters, but gave informed the RDN about its patrols. The air attack was uncalled for and unacceptable. This attack calls for possible sanctions and increased security on our borders.

[Scow Creek]

“RANGER” DANGER

In three different Departments this past week – Kismet, Atlantique, and Cherry Grove – residents have reported being accosted by Private Security Forces claiming to be government law enforcement officials.

Commandant Raúl Rivera of the Scow Creek Coast Guard warns residents that these self-proclaimed “Rangers” are not in any way connected to the government of Scow Creek.

“Ten years ago, the people of our islands drove out the Pointers (residents of Woods Point) and their private security forces,” Rivera said. “In the last year, we have seen a resurgence of these uniformed goons harassing our citizens in sudden raids, usually in remote locations. What is particularly worrisome is that they appear to be recruiting men into their ranks from around the world. Coupled with the statement from the ClubHouse in Qúpsóg last week, this is a troubling omen.”

Last week, the Governing Club of Qúpsóg issued a statement denying the legitimacy of the government of Scow Creek.

Up to 18 people have been illegally detained and questioned in the dunes east of Cherry Grove, and were threatened with arrest for nudity, a Constitutionally-protected right in the Kingdom. Yesterday, men claiming to be “Rangers” confiscated alcohol from a party of beachgoers in Atlantique at gun point, declaring a re-imposition of Prohibition. In both cases, the victims were unable to discern the Ranger’s accents, validating concerns that they had begun recruiting from distant shores.

“Your best defense is a visible, concerted offense,” said Rivera. “Creekers are allowed to carry their firearms, and it’s a good idea to show these thugs that we will not back down.”
=========================================================================================================================

WATER WOES EXACERBATE SPOILS CRISIS

As the Kingdom Assembly continues to meet in an effort to resolve the Spoils Crisis in the Tisó Iqepo Wilderness Area, the issue has been made more complicated by water tests that have just come back from the National Lab: e coli isasterde, a virulent, long-lived and highly toxic bacetria, has been detected in seriously elevated quantities in the waters just off the Wilderness.

According to Liá EÞeraba at the Lab, “The maximum safe limit of e coli isasterde is 200 colonies per ml of water. We took 8 samples from the area recently subject to the illegal dredging in the Wilderness area, and all 8 samples tested between 1,000 and 3,000 colonies per ml. No one, under any condition, should be bathing in that water, and they certainly shouldn't be eating fish or shellfish taken from those waters.”

EÞeraba was unable to identify the source of the bacteria.

“This particular strain is almost always transmitted through the blood or feces of mammals,” she said, “and what worries us is that it can live for extended periods in water where it colonizes seafood resources. We have never seen this strain in our waters, though it is common in warmer waters south of here.”

When asked if the dredging could have stirred up or increased the reproduction of the bacteria, EÞeraba was emphatic: “No. These colonies do not respond to mud and sand being disturbed…more likely, it indicates a sudden, infected mammalian presence in our waters.”

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ENVIRONMENT MINISTER TRAVELS TO ŠÍNÍQÓQ NATION

After almost a week of grueling negotiations with the Governing Club of Cupsogue over the recent Dredge Spoils crisis, Environment Minister Tódd Eríqsén has suddenly departed for the Šíníqóq Nation. Neither Eríqsén nor his ministry office returned calls to this paper concerning the reasons for this visit.

About 300 years ago, the Šíníqóq people inhabited the lands currently in the Scow Creek domain. For a variety of reasons: disease, conflict with migrants, a series of brutal winters – the Šíníqóqs abandoned the islands and relocated on the mainland.

For many years, it was assumed that the Šíníqóqs were lost as a people as they were assumed into the greater mainland society created by the Continental Federation. However, a remnant of Šíníqóqs have entrenched themselves on a peninsula of the mainland and have existed as an independent nation since that time. Largely isolationist and resource-poor, they have dwelt relatively unnoticed by both Continental and Island cultures since their removal. Geographically, the nation of Qúpsóg - currently governed by the ex-Pointers who have admitted responsibility for the Dredge Spoils incident – is the closest Island nation to the peninsula on which the Šíníqóqs dwell.

It is widely rumored that Eríqsén’s visit to the Šíníqóqs is part of a government effort to isolate the Cupsoguans and resolve the Dredging Crisis.

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CENSUS BEGINS: TECH SCHOOL DORMS AT ISSUE

The Constitution dictates that in each Gregorian Calendar Year ending in the digit “4” or “9,” the Kingdom shall conduct a census whose primary purposes are to determine the number of Assemblymen each Department is entitle to, and to determine the official languages of each Department. Any language spoken by more than 5% of the residents of any Department during the Quinquennial Census automatically becomes an official language.

In 2009, the Kingdom’s first census, no major controversies arose, as the vast majority of Creekers embraced the language diversity requirements of the Constitution. However, a growing number of residents of Raynortown, a small Department in the Sedges, are growing nervous over the impending opening of DóQléft Technical College.

“Look, we are proud and excited that the new tech school is opening in our Town,” said local resident Eli SmíÞ. “It will be great for the fishing trade and add some life to our community. But I don’t think that a dormitory should determine the outcome of local elections. They don’t really ‘live’ here; they are staying here temporarily.”

According to Census & Statistics Minister Jín Buríl, the ministry intends to give students the right to declare their Dormitory room as their home for voting and Census purposes.

“They are citizens, and they live there,” said Buríl. “We do not ask anybody in the Kingdom how long they intend to live in one place, nor do we require them to dwell in a single location for a stated period of time. College students are no different.”

The ministry intends to delay counting in Raynortown until after 01 SEP, at which point students will be settled in their dorms and can decide where to declare their residency. Dormitories for the Tech School cover eight acres of DóQléft Sedge in Raynortown, and, when full, will hold more than 60% of Raynortown’s population.

“If necessary, we will appeal to the Monarch,” said SmíÞ. We have welcomed this development with open arms, and it is simply unfair that we should be repaid by having our Department’s political process overrun.”

The Constitutions grants the Monarch the sole authority to determine the number of boundaries of Departments.

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SPORTS UPDATES:
SCOW CREEK ATHLETES AT SUMMER OLYMPIC GAMES IN WISTERIA

More than a dozen athletes and several dozen Scow Creek residents are now in the Region of Wysteria for the Summer Olympic Games. Scow Creek Athletes hoping to score a medal include:

100 meter Sprint – Ive Uóqr
Steeplechase – Éd Qronénbúrg
Love Boat 5km /couples – Édú Létís & Snáø Úntr
Kayak – Dbl Mix 1000m – Índeú Uótrs
Rum–Down Hill/Down River – Únetú Mórgóretú
Diving – Tóme Tópr and Sánde Bóqs
Boxing – Qónr Qase
Gymnastics – Floor – Šárín DíQláp
Modern Pentathalon – Ógúst Šuts
Bossaball – The Blue Bulls (Burelo Ab’los)

We wish you all the best! Go get ‘em!
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SPORTS UPDATES:
BEACH VOLLEYBALL LEAGUE STANDINGS

Each contest consists of a maximum of 4 matches.
Teams win 3 points for a contest win, 1 point for a tie, and 0 for a loss.

Western Division Place, Team, Points
1 Saltaire Sportsmen 38
2 Rum Pt. Pirates 38
3 Eastern Sedges FC 30
4 Zach’s Bay Whitecaps 28
5 Oak Beach Rip Tide 25
6 Milburn Revolution 23
7 Raynortown Storm Surge 20
8 Gilgo Baymen 18
9 Kismet Impact 14

Eastern Division Place, Team, Points

1 Fair Harbor United 34
2 Pines MusselMen 32
3 Headlands Navigators 30
4 Cherry Grove Beef 30
5 Ocean Beach Drifters 27
6 Seaview Breach 26
7 Davis-Ridge Crew 26
8 Ocean Bay Park Union 23
9 Atlantique Fire 20