No bullshit. Just KNN.
While the upcoming 2016 parliamentary elections dominated the Knootian political agenda there were always referenda on the side. A few months ago a popular young vlogger had launched a petition to change the countries' name. The petition had gone viral and now the ballot would include a vote on whether the Dutch Democratic Republic should instead be called the Knootian Republic, as it had been in the past. The Knootoss News Network, always eager to foster public debate (and reap the advertising monies in the process) had announced that the countries' social-liberal Prime Minister, Maurits Viljoen, would be debating the vlogger, Abel Aphadon.
After the usual preliminaries of explaining the debates' rules and the introduction of the first speaker, the camera panned towards the Knootian Prime Minister before settling on his face: "Friends, Fans, Countrymen," he began while speaking with a theatrical, hammy presentation. "I am here to defend our country - the Dutch Democratic Republic." He paused for applause, which duly arose from that section of the audience which supported their leader. He continued: "I am here to defend an optimistic, proud, patriotic vision of who we are. Some people may be ashamed of a name that is both truly unique and truly descriptive of what we are as a people, as a nation, but I am not! We are Dutch. And we are Democratic."
Again he paused for applause. Again the crowd rose to the occasion.
"We are Dutch and always have been. Our country has proudly welcomed people of all different races and ethnicities, but it remains at its core the centre of Dutch national aspiration in our multiverse. From the moment that we threw off the shackles of Lavenrunzian tyranny til the present day we have been guided by the values that are so fundamental to our people. We love freedom and reject the dogma that foreign oppressors would impose upon us. We are enterprising and have gone all over the world in search of better deals. We are united as a people even when we welcome others into our midst. That is what it means to be Dutch."
As the applause rose up again the camera focused on a bejeweled, elderly white woman in a wheelchair. She was clapping so hard that the meat on her her flabby arms was swinging to and fro. This was the sort of thing she'd come to hear.
"We are -" the Prime Minister motioned for the applause to die down just before it would have, to show his control over the crowds. "We are also a democratic nation. We have evolved from a Republic of plutocrats into a Republic of the People. The democratic reforms of the 1990s have seen the name of Democracy emblazoned on our flag and anchored in our name. Democracy has come to be at the heart of what we are. And that is where it should stay. Thank you."
The moderator spoke in a relative monotone: "Next, the vlogger Abel Aphadon will argue that the name of our country should be the Knootian Republic."
Abel Aphadon was a relatively slight youth, appearing to be in his late twenties. His black hair, tanned skin and slightly elongated ears betrayed a mixed heritage but he nevertheless he spoke Dutch with a crisp accent that would've seemed appropriate throughout the Hartstad region, where the deep guttural noises of the Dutch language were generally softened, sounding a bit posh even as it was spoken by people living on the streets:
"Between 1810 and 1989 our country, my country, was known as the Knootian Republic. The name was changed when I was two years old, more concerned with toys and naptime than the official name of the place where I lived. The country I grew up in, went to school, got my first job, my first kiss - that country is different from the one our Prime Minister described. It's not just a country of ethnic Dutchmen. Many Knootians have some different race, identity or ethnic background, be it Sindar, Tetemelayan or Mestizo. I myself have a mixed background too, with Jewish and Metahuman roots. When I was in high school, though, the type of music you liked mattered far more than the birthplace of your parents or the size of your ears."
That drew a few laughs from the audience and these were followed by applause. Abel waited patiently for the applause to die down before he continued: "I'd like to share some facts with you. Over a third of Knootians are classified by the current, divisive system of racial classification as 'non-native', and that number is higher for young people. It is estimated that one in ten Knootians will not be entirely human by the time 2020 rolls around. Fixating on an identity that is based on ethnic heritage will exclude all those people who have become fully Knootian but who are not, and can never be, 'Dutch'."
Again there was applause, and this time the camera showed the standing ovation of a young girl with a lock of hair that had been dyed in a sharpish pink colour.
"When I posted that video to my channel I could never have imagined that the response would be so enthusiastic. That the petition I started would've garnered so many signatures in such a short time. I think that means something. I think it means that our country is more inclusive, more open than Maurits Viljoen would have us believe. I think this country is ready to embrace an identity that isn't based on race or ethnic origin. I believe it is time to listen to the youngest generation. I believe it is time that we ditch a divisive old name that continues to exclude an increasing number of Knootians, by pretending that they - that we - are not truly a part of the country. It is time to vote for change in the upcoming referendum..."
Before Abel could finish speaking there was already a thunderous applause from his supporters. Blushing, he stammered a "thank you" before the cameras turned swiftly back towards the moderator.
"Those were our opening statements. Please stay tuned for round two of our debate on our countries' name. We will continue after a short commercial break..."
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