Once Upon a Time in Esquarium [DEAD]

[Seitonjin]

Seitonjin Twiter feed

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Dal xi ah! I don't want to start school in two days. It really sucks. #School_Daze

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@Real_Gaesun_Kong aren't you the minister of education? And are you drunk?

[Ainin]

Orbit
Prelude: The Day Esquarium Stood Still

---

September 27, 2015 - 23:46; Forestia, Ainin

The camera zooms into a busy downtown Forestia street, in the glamorous FoHill district, famous around the region for its nightlife. As a group of teenage girls walked into a dimly-lighted nightclub and two middle-aged men opened the doors into a small pub, the rest of the people on the pedestrian street came to a halt, looking at the dark night sky, from where a white ball of light, growing larger and larger, appeared. In awe, or just plain shock, the bystanders watched the ball approach the ground. After a minute or so, a man, taking two steps backwards in shock, turned towards the crowd and yelled:
"It's a missile!"

The rest of the crowd, as the shape of the light source became clearer, soon realized it as well. The panicked men and women began running towards all directions, as the rocket approached the Forestia skyline. A small flash of light was seen far away, probably on the Central or Eastern Forestia islands, and the relieved civilians looked towards the smoke on the horizon. But, then, without warning, twenty seconds after the initial impact, a massive explosion originating from the site of the strike swept Forestia, annihilating the entire archipelago that was home to 16 million people, destroying the capital of Ainin, sending the three small islands consisting Forestia County to be swallowed into the sea.

Other than the ungodly amount of debris floating in the cold autumn waters of the Sea of Ainin, there was no hint a city had ever been there.

There were no survivors.


September 28, 2015 - 00:02; Namo, Namor

At the Presidential Residence, two NLA generals walk into President-General Huang’s bedroom, waking her up.
“What is it?”, she grumpily exclaimed.
“Ma’am, the capital of Ainin, one of our closest allies, was destroyed by what we believe to be a nuclear blast”, answered the older officer.
In shock and disbelief, Huang looked outside, at the lights of late-evening Namo, she saw… it.

It being a white light similar to what was described as hitting what was Forestia less than twenty minutes ago. Backing away from the window and going into bed, hoping this was just a nightmare, she fell asleep, ignoring the puzzled generals standing at the door frame, just as a massive fireball wrecked the residence, while the rest of urban Namo suffered the same fate.

A mushroom cloud rose above the ruined city.


September 28, 2015 - 00:10; Bethlehem, Luziyca

The financial district of the capital of the Christian Republic, Esquarium’s industrial behemoth, was a sight to be seen. The towering glass skyscrapers, rising far into the sky, were the symbol of the country’s economic prosperity.

Lucius, an employee of the First Bethlehem Bank, was working late at night on a report for the CEO on the fiftieth floor of the Commerce Tower when, as he looked outside the large shaded window, he saw a bright sphere of light, followed by a trail of dark smoke.

Disregarding it as an illusion due to his fatigue, he continued typing away at his corporate laptop, when, a brief minute later, he, his laptop, and the entire building he was in, were swept away by a towering wall of fire.

Bethlehem lay destroyed.


September 28, 2015 - 00:14; Mann, Bleckonia

In an unsurprising turn of events, the same blast experienced by the capitals of Ainin, Namor and Luziyca was happening to Mann, capital of the Bleckonian Kingdom, as well.

The king, woken up by a janitor sweeping the hallway in front of his luxurious room, looked outside as the city he was born and lived in was quickly reduced to rubble. A second later, he was killed by the expanding blast.


September 28, 2015 - 00:32; Koy-Bleckonian Border

With the military powers of Esquarium crippled, the order was given to invade Bleckonia and destroy it once and for all.

As Koy fighter jets, bombers, helicopters, tanks and jeeps crossed the border, catching the Bleckonian security forces, who only managed to offer light resistance before being mowed down by a barrage of artillery fire, by surprise, two colossal fleets of the Koy navy were now sailing towards the west. Their targets, the foreign naval fleets located in the Eastern Esquarian Ocean.


September 28, 2015 - 00:41; Rural Linack, Ainin

A massive motorcade, consisting of hundreds of police cruisers, unmarked black vans, blaring white SUVs and escorted by at least twenty AH-64 attack helicopters descended on the small cottage in an undeveloped and generally tranquil part of Linack Province. A SWAT team, after shooting out the front door with assault rifles, entered and seized Underminister of the Interior for National Police Force Affairs Jeanne Stanley, loading her in one of the helicopters. Turning towards the profoundly shocked deputy minister, the pilot announced:
"Ma'am, you are being sworn in as President of the Aininian Republic."

The screen fades to black.

Orbit
A War Disaster Film

(OOC: I'll write Act I - Calamity in the East in a bit)

[Ainin]

The Aininian Republic:
A Glowing Beam of Stability in Today's Troubled World
From a booklet distributed by the Ministry of Foreign Affairs in embassies around the world

---

The Republic of Ainin is a large waterlocked nation part of the geographical continent of Western Esquarium, also known as Terra Dominus, a name that has mostly been abandoned in Ainin due to the government's laicist and secular policies and educational campaigns. A unitary semi-presidential representative democracy based on the Westminster parliamentary system, the 650,000,000 [2012 Census, estim.] citizens, permanent residents and long-term visitors of Ainin enjoy a fully democratic and equal society.

The Executive Branch of Ainin is headed by the President of Ainin. Enjoying limited power and kept in check by the unicameral Parliament (see following paragraph for details), the President is the Head of State, responsible for attending summits and meetings abroad and at home, signing passed bills into law and advising the Armed Forces on matters of national defence. In contrast, the Prime Minister is the head of government and responsible for everyday procedures in the Aininian Government, such as presiding over debate in the House of Commons and supervising the Cabinet of Ministers, a council of MPs responsible for heading and administering the 17 executive departments, or ministries, in the Republic. The Cabinet is appointed by the Prime Minister, who is in turn a Member of Parliament (MP) appointed by the President to lead the government. The President is also a Member of Parliament and chosen by the adult populace through a first-past-the-post election.

The Legislative Branch of Ainin, or Parliament, is Ainin's unicameral legislature, consisting of the House of Commons. Members of Parliament, or MPs, are elected in their constituencies through a single transferable vote (STV) election. Each constituency, known in more practical terms as a county, elects two national representatives. As there are 451 counties, the House of Commons has 451 seats, while, historically, the now-abolished senate had 125 seats. The government is kept in check by the Official Opposition, led by a Leader of the Official Opposition appointed by the party or coalition forming the Opposition, which is made up of the second largest party or coalition by number of seats. The Leader of the Opposition must appoint a Shadow Cabinet to offer criticism and suggestions to their government counterparts. When a majority of MPs lose confidence in the ability of the government to lead Ainin, they may petition the Prime Minister informing him so. He or she shall then have the choice to either agree and call a confidence vote, where if a simple majority of MPs vote against, the executive and legislative branches are dissolved and an election is declared, or to prorogue Parliament for up to 30 days. Prorogation, which may only be called once per term, is the forced adjournment of Parliament, and a confidence vote automatically happens when it reconvenes.

The Judicial Branch of Ainin consists of the courts and tribunals of the Republic, a common law (as opposed to civil law) country. As Ainin is a unitary state, all judges are appointed by the national government. The Supreme Court of Ainin is the highest court of land, and holds a final say on all cases. Supreme Court judges are appointed by a 60% supermajority vote in Parliament on the advice of the President, and other judges are appointed by the Minister of Justice with approval of the Shadow Minister of Justice. Interpretation of the Constitution and challenges to legislation is handed to the Supreme Court, while criminal cases, administrative cases and civil cases are filed with the lowest court of the county where the challenge in question occurred. If this cannot be determined, the case is filed in the county of the plaintiff.

The oldest democratic nation in Esquarium, with a record 212 years of political stability, the Republic is a great example of an efficient government.

[Luziyca]

Luziycan Twitter Feed

---

Trending now:
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@Laine_Cheyanne
Gotta go to school in three days from now, then off to WorldVision. Hope it's Yerevan. #SchoolStarts

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Congrats to two Grim Reapers for buying land so we can get back on our feet! #Kashui

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I wish summer never ends! #MissesSummer

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Get yer tickets to my next concert in #Batoche September 19!

[Namor]

The 23rd Century and the Rise of the Esquarian Rightist Totalitarianism
An excerpt from "Esquarium, Our Land:" a social studies textbook

---

The first half of the 23rd century (NMR 2300-2399) saw drastic regime changes throughout Esquarium, primarily the western part of Esquarium. Many people in countries, fed up with slow economic growth and corrupt bureaucracy, decided to overthrow their governments and replace them with new regimes they believed would bring better times to the country as a whole. During the first half of the 23rd century---our century---two nations in western Esquarium, Zokoria and Unolia, experienced regime changes, becoming full fledged right-wing nations. This chapter will focus on the two countries and how their leaders managed to convince the people that rebellion was needed for a "new age."

Zokoria: The Sad Story of Revolution

---

As learned in Chapter 7, Zokoria is a Scandinavian nation located southwest of the People's Republic of Namor; since it gained independence from Luziyca, it has been ruled by a moderate government. Into the NMR 2340s, however, the left-wing administration in Zokoria grew corrupt and inefficient. The result was a stagnating economy and an infuriated populace.

Henrik Müller, supreme leader of
Zokoria since NMR 2339. He is the dominant
face in Zokorian politics, and a constant icon
of fear and dictatorship.

This led to the rise of one man, Henrik Müller, the leader of Zokoria's Norsefire Party, which was adhered to right-wing conservative policies. Müller was a Zokorian of German descent, and during the Zokorian Left-wing administration, he had constantly spoke out against the government's economic policies, as well as Zokoria's tolerance of gays and homosexuals. A Christian fundamentalist, Müller's right-wing rhetoric managed to seize the support from the populace, who was desperate to find a solution to their country's problems; finally, Müller and the Norsefirists---people who supported his ideals---could no longer sit still.

In 10 June, NMR 2339 (1999 in the Gregorian calendar), Müller and the Norsefire Party overthrew the Zokorian government in a coup d'etat, seizing power for himself. Müller declared himself Supreme Leader of the newly-proclaimed Norsefire Republic of Zokoria. Initially, the Zokorian people believed that a new age of prosperity would come, and that they would be free of all troubles at last.

But this was not the case. Immediately after taking power, Müller banned elections, and made the Norsefire Party the only legal party in the country, turning Zokoria---formerly a multiparty democracy---into a one-party dictatorship. Adopting capitalist policies to his country, stripping people of their welfare, Müller also set off to control the press, as well as suppress the personal freedoms of the people. Müller claims that this is the only way to rid Zokoria of communism---the Norsefirists' number-one archrival.

But notably, Müller banned LGBT rights in Zokoria. After taking power, thousands of gays, lesbians, homosexuals or even straights that supported gay marriage and adoption was rounded up by Zokoria's secret police, tortured, and even killed. Seeing LGBTs as immoral and corrupt, Müller believed that what he was doing was systematically bringing a new age of stability and order to a long-chaotic Zokoria.

Müller's rule has brought stability, at the price of freedom. Next, we will learn about another man---Jarrod Thuman---who managed to do the same in another nation, Unolia.

"Justice and Mercy:" Unolia under Jahisticism

---

A few years ago, tens of Jahistic Party leaders were rounded up and sent to Unolia's largest public square---Victory Square. They had been tried for treason against the Unolian state for being "Hippostanian conservatives." In a kangaroo trial, the leaders were spat by Thuman's notorious militant youth wing, known as the Jahistic Youth Corps, and ultimately many leaders were given the death sentence.

What is Jahisticism? Who is Jarrod Thuman? Let us take a look.

The Secret Life of Jarrod Thuman

---

Thuman is not a native Unolian, like most Jahistic Party leaders. He was born in the distant town of Rochester in the continent of North America. Little is known about Thuman's early life; however, according to Jahistic Party records, Thuman constantly wrote political and economic essaies during his middle school years.

Thuman was a big fan of Maoism--the dominant ideology of China during the reign of Mao Zedong. Although a capitalist, Thuman believed that the only way to achieve full capitalism was through constant inner struggle and revolution, as Mao believed to be the only way to achieve the exact opposite---communism. Thuman's love for communism would shape how he takes power in Unolia---and how he will rule it. Thuman was also an admirer of libertarian rightists like Milton Friedman, and therefore believed that with libertarian rightism, can a utopian society of prosperity be achieved. Thuman also adored anarchism. Over time, the blend of Thuman's favorite ideologies would come to be known as Jahisticism. Jahisticists believe that capitalism must be achieved through revolutionary fervor, rather than moderate thinking.

"I encourage Jahistics...to wage violent revolution.
Aggression can only be used against aggressors." ---Jarrod Thuman

Thuman---who was constantly harrassed by fellow students and classmates---fled school with a group of followers when he reached his teenage years. He gained more followers by preaching his Jahistic ideology, and eventually established the First Yellow Jahistic regime in Utah. The regime lasted for a few years before it collapsed, and Thuman's Jahistics took a Long March (similar to Mao's) from Utah all the way to Peru, in South America. Along the way, Thuman gained more followers, later enough to establish a new Jahistic regime. But which country would become Jahisticism's new victim?

The Unolian Coup and Roubao

---

In the meantime, the island of Unolia---located in northwestern Esquarium---was ruled by the corrupt Plign Dynasty. The Pligns were known for their authoritarian ways of ruling the country, having been isolated from the rest of the region for centuries (little is known about ancient Unolia, due to the destruction the Jahistics have made on the island's presumably 20,000 year-long history and heritage). It wasn't until recently when the Plign rulers decided to reform their island, politically and economically. The internet was allowed, and more political freedoms were granted to the populace, piece by piece.

Jarrod Thuman is the
dominant leader of Unolia's new
Jahistic regime. Under Thuman's
rule, Unolia experienced economic
progress in exchange for political
freedoms.

But that did not turn the Jahistics away. In NMR 2343, Jarrod Thuman and his Jahistic Army landed on the island of Unolia and staged a coup d'etat, taking hold of the Unolian Kingdom in hours. King Fernando of Unolia fled to the offshore island of Roubao, where he reestablished his government (that was toppled very recently in NMR 2347). Once taking over mainland Unolia, Jarrod Thuman proclaimed the establishment of the Jahistic Republic of Unolia, or the JRU for short. Many Unolians believed that the beginning of Thuman's rule meant a new age for the better.

Having taken power, Thuman then set his eyes on Roubao. The island---which was a special economic zone of Plign Unolia---managed to prosper economically and have higher standards of living than the mainland. This caught Thuman's eye, as Roubao had all the resources he needed for a prosperous capitalist Jahistic utopia that fit his views. Thuman rushed to invade Roubao in 2343, but failed miserably due to Namorese military intervention. This led Thuman to fear and hate Namor's power, and the ruling Jahistic Party's position towards "Red" Namor was sealed. More clashes between Roubao and the Jahistics will follow.

[The Jahistic Unified Republic]

Canda Residence, October, Jahistic 15 (Present Day)

Elliot Canda, a prominent Anti-Thuman activist and Left-Wing author was sitting in his modest house in the suburbs of Ferryford, Tunegal (not so far from the City of Unolia). He was reading classical Libertarian Leftist literature, seen within the early Unolian Protest movements before economic rightists came into the picture and drinking tea. He had lived in relative security since the Jahistic Party put a protection order on him, but that was soon to change.

Noise was heard, mainly drums and chants. "The People united will not fall to Socialist tendencies!" was heard outside of his house. He peered out the window and saw no less than seventy-five kids, beating on makeshift drums and protesting outside of his house. They had the yellow insignia of the Jahistic Youth Corps on their caps. Not even the Jahistic Youth Corps had bothered him in the fifteen years since the Revolution in Unolia.

"Down with Socialism! Down with Social Democracy! Down with Democratic Socialism! Long live Rothbard! Long live Anarchism! Long live our Great Leader, Chairman Thuman!" They shouted upon seeing his face through his window. He walked outside of his house, being careful to stay on his porch, and questioned the young people.

"What seems to be the matter, Corpsmen?"

"You have criticized our Shining Sun, Chairman Jarrod Thuman for the last time!" The leader of the group said. "I am Hae Myung-su, and we have received orders from the Standing Politburo of the Party that we must destroy Old Thoughts, such as Socialism!"

"Crap. Umm, I have a letter from the Chairman himself saying that I, along with all other Leftists in the nation are immune from persecution!" Canda insisted, trying to head back inside to get the letter.

"That letter is null and void! We will protest here for as long as we need to, but you will be detained and sent to reeducation to learn real political theory sooner or later!" Hae shouted back. "Your wife has already been detained!"

"My wife?" Canda yelled, inevitably stepping on the dry soil.

"He's left his property! Get him!" Hae shouted as his group pounced on him, handcuffing him and taking him away.

[Roubao]

A short walk from Thuman's reach

---

Northwestern Esquarium, particularly Roubao---is a relatively cold place. While summer was still burning in some parts of the region, autumn had alraedy dawned over the small island nation. Temperatures are dropping, one degree after another, and the sun was rising later and setting early. Already, some could feel the winter days' steady approach.

I hated winters. Not because of the cold, but because I have to wake up every weekday at six, then spend an hour preparing to go to school, which begins a seven-thirty. I lived in 34 Yang Cha Street in Yantai County, on Yantai Island---the northernmost and dangerous part of Roubao. I am a freshman, and I had just entered high school, and not only do I hate waking up early, I hate waking up when the sun didn't rise as of yet.

The radio is my alarm clock, and had to set it to 6:00AM, of course. I had a dream---a dream that somehow a Jahistic missile destroyed Yantai King Fernando Secondary School and school was cancelled for an entire year; just then, the loud noise of the radio blared my dreams apart.

"This is Yantai News Radio, FM 91.5. It is now six o'clock, good morning, Roubao..." the announcer began in Mandarin Chinese.

With a yawn and a grunt, I got up, got dressed, and then stared out the window. Only a quarter-kilometer away I could see a Roubanese military installation, with the Roubanese flag flying over it. Soldiers patrolled its perimeter day and night, some of them holding binaculars. Those who had binaculars pointed them only at one direction.

The Mainland.

My parents were from mainland Unolia, more specifically, from Frain. That was where I was born, too. They were non-partisan---they didn't care about what the King did, or what his eunuchs or whatever did. Nor did I, I have no clue of what Unolia was like before the Jahistics took over. But my dad was a friend of a local-level Monarchist bureaucrat, someone any person would not really care about. Usually, Dad and that official would hang out at the local cafe, talking about anything.

Then that little kid, Jarrod Thuman, came. He came from far away, with his huge army. I remembered my dad telling me, when I was eight: "Ha, that kid Thuman, I still can't figure out why that child could raise a huge army of people twice his age!" But that didn't matter. Thuman's army took out the Monarchist government, and my dad was convicted as a counter-revolutionary, punishable by death had he stayed in the mainland. Thuman wanted his neck cut.

So my dad took my mom and me and fled here, to Yantai, where the King resettled and tried to retake the mainland. My dad said he didn't hear from his friend, the bureaucrat, since, but was certain that his life was in Thuman's hands. "Poor guy," he would say, "poor guy."

Even out of Thuman's territory, Yantai was---and is---still within Thuman's reach, let alone the rest of Roubao. Dad was worried, and so was Mom, especially when the Jahistics tried very hard to attack and conquer Yantai, then the rest of Roubao. They could've easily done so, if the Namorese didn't come and the Monarchist army acted dumb.

But the Namorese did come, and the Monarchist army didn't act dumb. Jahistic shells pounded the hell out of Yantai. Explosions were everywhere. At that time, I was four. I was taken to an underground fallout shelter, and my parents huddled there along with the rest of the island's inhabitants, numbering around the thousands.

Days later, we left the shelter, and we saw the flagpole that rose over the same military installation I'm seeing right now from my house window. The Hourglass wasn't there, and the Royal Flag prevailed. My dad said he had sighed in relief. "The Jahistic bandits are gone," he proclaimed, "but we still need to stay on alert, they could come any time."

That was true. Yantai Island was only a marathon run's distance away from the mainland. Thuman himself could just swim across the strait and gun down every one of us, but I seriously doubt that kid could swim, ditto with my dad. He had looked for job opportunities on Roubao Island, but couldn't find any that would satisfy the needs of our three-persons' family. We had no relatives on Roubao, all of them live on mainland Unolia. When I asked my dad whether he knew if they were still alive or not, he shook his head. "You know," he began, "I don't know. I think Thuman killed them, I'm sure of that...they know me, and I know a counter-revolutionary, and so do they."

My dad found a job as a dish-washer in a local restaurant located only two blocks away from our house, situated on Yantai was well. My mom also found a job as a waitress in the same restaurant. Both are given reasonable pay, and no one has ever complained, although Dad vowed that we wouldn't be staying here for long.

"I swear, one day, we will move to New Plignpolis," he would say over and over, usually during dinnertime, "We will be away from that kid Thuman's reach."

Amen.

[The Jahistic Unified Republic]

Ashley Xailun Memorial Church

"CHARGE!" Was the cry heard from no less than ninety Jahistic Youth Corps who raided this Church in Kingsing. The Church was accused of being "Reactionary" for literally unknown reasons, and it was time to pay the price. The kids marched in with red, yellow and black banners and began to destroy Church property, most notably, Bibles. Out of the ninety JYC, eighty-five identified as Christian, so one could wonder why a religion would turn on itself. The answer was simple: Permanent Revolution in the name of Jarrod Thuman. The Word of God and the word of Thuman cannot be reconciled? Then God must go!

Stones were breaking windows and fire was burning scared pages of Bibles. The Atheistic Shawn Hitlay had declared that "I speak for the Chairman that both the Mormon and Christian Churches, unless agreeing with the immortal Jarrod Thuman Thought, must be purged!" at a Party meeting two nights before. Thuman did not agree or disagree with the sentiment at that meeting. The Pastors and Priests were no longer immune to persecution from the Party. Religion, once a sacred protectorate of the Party, was now in the crosshairs of it's most radical followers.

The raid lasted for almost four hours. Bibles were burnt and some statues were taken. A meeting was held outside the Church. Instead of burning the Church, the group put the cherry on top: they tore down the Church bell and put up a portrait of Jarrod Thuman. One religion gave way to another. A religion in it's youngest and most naive form.

[Kofeiya]

Varanken, Kofeiya

It was seven in the evening in this major hub of the country, heck, even the continent of what the locals call "Moyo." Foreigners have come all this way, to witness a major competition, back in its original birthplace: Esquarium, and it coincides with the fact it is in the birthplace of humanity: Moyo.

The Cathedral Theater was crowded, with many sneaking in and standing in the aisles. Despite security escorting those that obviously sneaked into the theater, there were many who were not caught. Some even brought fake tickets which many did not recognize. It was as if it was a major party, or a meeting of the State Peace and Development Council, which governed Kofeiya from 1980 to 1992.

Finally, the lights darken, and the screen lights up, with Earth being seen, before it zooms to Moyo, where Kofeiya is highlighted. African music was being performed by the Varanken National Philharmonic Orchestra, while it shows scenes, as nineteen dancers, aged 4 to 65, of the Azena nation come out. With a stunning transition, they started to see areas of Kofeiya.

They were first showing scenes of Ekialdeko, the autonomous nation home to the Azena. As scenes of Ekialdeko (think savannah and coast of South Africa, as well as stereotypical African village) were seen, the Azena dancers danced to the song the Philharmonic Orchestra performed, a traditional Azena song, Amen Siakudumisa (known in Asenath Azena as Amen, zure izena goraipatzeko dugu), while the dancers also sang. Dressed in traditional clothes, they danced gracefully, as if they had no care in the world. When the song ends, the scene ends (there were some animals here and there) with the skyline of Abrahan (capital of Ekialdeko) and in the distance, the capital of Samuel County, Abraham (both form a single metropolitan area).

Next was the Swahili Nation. While it comprises officially of three separate reserves and a single nation, since 1992 (from 1990-1992, they had a single territorial government), they had an inter-reservational administration based in Kupanda, and thus, as sixty dancers of the native Swahili tribe come out, the Philharmonic Orchestra switches to some more savannah, the mountains that clearly mark southern Kofeiya, and more towns, while they dance and sung to Malaika, a common welcoming song, in their traditional clothes. Aged 3 to 70, the Swahili danced in a graceful manner, and the scenes evolved, until they ended with the modern skyline of the "capital" of the Swahili Nation, Kupanda.

Now, was the rest of the country. The Swahili actors left, and in came 240 schoolchildren from a prestigious primary school, the "Jeremiah Job Primary School," which opened in 1978, renamed "Erov Haclav Primary School" in 1980 and restored to the Jeremiah Job School in 1992. From Kindergarten to Grade 8 (5 to 14), they all were arranged in rows by grade. Once ready, an emcee said, "Please stand up for the national anthem of Kofeiya," and repeated it in Luziycan (Vaniligen surgenti nacionala hymni Kofeiya), Azena (Mesedez aurre du Kafea ereserkia), and Swahili (Tafadhali kusimama kwa wimbo wa taifa wa Kahawa).

The schoolchildren began to sing the anthem, All Hail, Kofeiya, Hail, and the Philharmonic Orchestra played the melody. The children sang it in Luziycan (Va seh grad, Kofeiya, grad (va seh grad) Va seh grad, Kofeiya grad! Eta zemilya ya savobodu slavi Dol zhen li dolgo budet nash!), then Azena (Berriak bere izena, nahiz eta, berdea, bere ospea izan, Abiega, eta bere eskumenak izango!), and then Swahili (Na nguvu kuwa mamlaka yake! Na nguvu kuwa mamlaka yake! Katika furaha na shangwe, na nyoyo zetu umoja, Tutaweza kupiga kelele uhuru wa mbio heri,) before concluding with English (Long live Kofeiya, happy land, A home of glorious liberty, by God's command! A home of glorious liberty, by God's command!) Whilst singing, the song changes, showing scenes of non-Azena, non-Swahili Kofeiya, showing towns, the Delta region (where most Kofeiyans live), before concluding with a picture of the venue, with the logo superimposed.

Then once it was done, the children were hurried out, and the emcee said, "You may now sit down," and repeated it in Luziycan (Teperi vy sitta ner), then Azena (Dezakezu orain eseri) and lastly, Swahili, (Unaweza sasa kukaa chini). The nations were to go in alphabetical order, with the founding nation entering first, and concluding with the host nation. Hence, a Swilatian-looking girl from Luziyca was brought in (well, two), to lead the way. The one who looked closest to the winner carried "SWILATIA - SVILASJA" on a board on a pole in front of the flag of Swilatia, before heading backstage. The Swilatian anthem is performed, although they do not need to rise, indeed, the instrumentals were only heard. The screen shows Swilatian landmarks.

(rest TBD if we get to host)

Finally, Yeremia enters, with their lead singer carrying the board, and a backup carrying the flag of Kofeiya. The Kofeiyan anthem was played (just the instrumental), while the screen showed Kofeiyan landmarks, and while some rose, many were content with their seats. They were going to do an opening act, an encore of the song that helped Kofeiya debut in WorldVision: Kumi Na Moja Miaka Ya Utesaji. Thus, after they set up, they perform Kumi Na Moja Miaka Ya Utesaji, in a more spectacular fashion than what they did in WV27. After that, the two presenters run down, and a podium was set up with three microphones. The video switches to a live view of the opening ceremony, with subtitles in Luziycan, Swahili, and Azena.

"Hello," a young and attractive black lady says. "I am Kubwa Malaika, and this is my colleague," as she points to a handsome black man to her right, "Noah Shetani. We are here tonight to present WorldVision at the birthplace of humanity, and the region where this contest, WorldVision was born."

"In a few moments," Shetani says, "we will have Her Excellency, Jemima Joktan, open the twenty-ninth edition of WorldVision, and then we will hear great music!"

"Ideally," Kubwa replies. "We may not be perfect, but we must try to get the best with our means, for WorldVision. Hence, we hope for the best contest ever."

Both step aside as Jemima Joktan rises from her seat in the audience and walks to the podium on the stage. By now, Swahili is taken out and English was put in, as she takes the oath, in her native tongue.

"Mimi, Rais Yemima Yoktani, wa Jamhuri ya Kikristo ya Kofeiya, hili kutangaza DuniaMaono wazi ya Varanken kuadhimisha mashindano ya ishirini-tisa ya zama ya kisasa." (I, President Jemima Joktan, of the Christian Republic of Kofeiya, hereby declare open WorldVision of Varanken celebrating the twenty-ninth contest of the modern era.)

With that, a fanfare erupts, the podium is taken off, Jemima Joktan returns to her seat, and the presenters retreat to the greenroom, and then we eagerly await the first performance of tonight's edition...

[Norige]

Liv Sörensdotter was the wife and Queen consort of Arne VIII of Norige (also called Arne the Great) from their marriage in 1510 until her husband´s death in 1556. It has been argued by various historians and others that Liv was as significant an historical figure as her husband. Her lifespan was longer than any other Royal (to date) and was significantly longer than the average life expectancy at the time. She outlived both her son, Arne IX, and her grandson, Arne X, before dying in 1588 during the reign of her great-grandson, Knud IV, aged 98-years-old. Known as Liv the Fair in her younger days, she eventually came to be adopted as a motherly figure for all of Norige and when she died, as many people turned out to her funeral as for her husband´s some 32 years earlier.

What distinguishes Liv most, however, is her prolific diary keeping. She was first given a diary by her father, Sören of Svarta, aged 14 in 1504. This began a love affair with the written word and Liv would go on to write copious amounts of poetry and short stories, document traditional folk tales of Norige and, most notably, keep a full and detailed diary for the next six decades, providing the most thorough and accurate first-hand account of the 16th century in Norige.

In total, Liv made over 30,000 notations and observations over 600 diaries for 64 years. She ceased keeping a diary aged 78, when her eyesight had deteriorated to the point she could no longer clearly see what she was writing. Rather than disclose her private thoughts through dictation, she instead decided to end the habit of a lifetime (although she continued to compose poetry and other writings through dictation).

Her diaries also document what many called (and still call) the "love of the century": her relationship with her husband of 46 years, Arne the Great. Deeply devoted to one another, Arne claimed to love his wife from the moment he viewed her. The youngest daughter of a lower ranking noble, Liv was resistant to Arne (despite feeling the same way), fearful the establishment would not accept her or her lowly family. She and Arne were described as "two halves of the same". When Arne died in 1556, Liv entered a period of mourning that would continue for the rest of her life.

[Great Uhuru]

The Free and Rational Worship of Giant Tentacled Tree Goddess
Presented by the Ministry of Rationality

Q: What's the Free and Rational Worship of Giant Tentacled Tree Goddess?
A: Commonly referred as the Free and Rational Worship, Rational Worship or just Rationalism, it's a project of non-organised faith based on the rationality and healthy spiritualism as outlined by the great European thinkers, American Green Party and the founding fathers of Uhuru themselves. It does not acknowledge the scientifically unproven existence of a deity, or according to Christians, 'big man who lives in sky', however neither it outright denies His/Their existence and instead recognize the spirit of nature to be respected and Her wealth, nature, to be preserved.

Q: What are its core tenets?
A: Obviously the preservation of nature and separation of church and state. Rationalism doesn't possess any form of church, in fact the 'church' or any form of religious organisation is a threat for Rationalism and its foundation was meant to wholly remove villainous organized religions which have involved in conspiracies and oppression against freemen and their natural rights.

Rationalism promotes generosity and generally possess no standard of morality except violations of one's inherent rights and especially against nature. The inherent rights are defined as: right to live equally, right for free healthcare, right for same sex marriage and right for abortion. It supports socialism as its economic ideology and Canada's nuking upon the United States of America for their sins against nature, freedom and socialism. Rationalism also encourages debates against religious followers.

Q: What's this 'the Giant Tentacled Tree Goddess'?
A: Depicted as, self-explanatorily, a giant tentacled tree with lady's face, the Giant Tentacled Tree Goddes isn't a deity. She's rather represent the nature itself, the spirit of nature and the one causes the spiritual experiences worldwide. She's also known as Lady Liberty and the Puncher of Illuminati Bastards. The Tentacled Tree Goddess dwells in the worldwide forests, her existence unlike the big man who dwells in sky was confirmed by the Uhuran scientists with an experiment involving hats and strings and confirmed by the President himself.

Q: What are the rituals and prayers committed by Rationalists?
A: Nonexistent, or at least none are universally acknowledged by Rationalists. Rationalist soldiers went their battle through crying prayer of salvation -- reciting the word of 'freedom', 'libertad' and 'death to imperialism'. Scientists are committing their service to the Goddess with scientific research. Most other Rationalists are burning money, the rich people and giving artificial respiration for dead raccoons, since it's known to be a practice practiced by the founding fathers.

The Goddess is told to grant people who died in the name of liberty seventy-three virgins in the afterlife, however it continues in the Scripture of Founding Fathers, 'as it's scientifically proven that afterlife is nonexistent, better making your deal with seventy-three virgins today.'

Q: What are the acts of charity committed by Rationalists?
A: Hundreds of Rationalists have signed a petition requesting 'Over-consumption Taxation Act'. According to the Act, bese people are obliged to pay tax through cutting their stomach ration exceeding the average and redistributing it to the impoverished children. The Act was successfully passed and now the famine rate decreased massively.

Twenty thousands Rationalists have joined the Organisation of Sexual Freedom, rehabilitating religious celibate people with coerced sexual therapy. As the result of nine of this organisation's objects committing suicide, the organisation is looking to 'rehabilitating from early', breaking illegal religious schools and kidnapping the children before therapize them.

Rationalists are also known to fund the construction of Palace of Salvation, a rehabilitation area dedicated for the rapists and serial murderers. It was praised by the president of Great Uhuru on 2005 as 'an example of humane rehabilitation place'. Indeed it is, the Palace of Salvation's a beautiful palace with hundreds of elite presidential suite rooms with comfortable beds and daily delivery of foie gras and first-class wine.

Interested...in making your world better?
Interested...in purging false dogmatic thoughts of organized religions?
Interested...in fighting American imperialism?

Join the Rationalism. Join the Free and Rational Worship of Giant Tentacled Tree Goddess.

[The Royal Kingdom of Quebec]

QBC'S HOCKEY NIGHT IN QUEBEC
2014-2015 REGULAR SEASON SCHEDULE(1)- SEPTEMBER AND OCTOBER

Wednesday, September 24th (QHL Face-Off)

• 16:00. QST St.John's Celtics @ Winnipeg Giants
• 19:00. QST Kingston Knights @ Montreal Canadiens
• 22:00. QST Quebec Nordiques @ Halifax Tempest
  
  Saturday, September 27th
• 19:00. QST Val d'Or Foreurs @ Rimouski Oceanic
• 19:00. QST Kenora Thunderwolves @ Ottawa Senators
• 22:00. QST Blainville-Boisbriand Armada @ St.John's Celtics
• 22:00. QST Shawinigan Cataractes @ Gaspe Oilers
  
  Wednesday, October 1st
• 19:00. QST Quebec Nordiques @ Shawinigan Cataractes
• 19:00. QST Attawapiskat Avalanche @ Montreal Canadiens
• 20:30. QST Val d'Or Foreurs @ Rouyn-Noranda Huskies
• 20:30. QST Kingston Knights @ Sherbrooke Phoenix
  
  Saturday, October 4th
• 19:00. QST Ottawa Senators @ Kingston Knights
• 19:00. QST Gander Jets @ Montreal Canadiens
• 22:00. QST Saint John Acadiens @ Gaspe Oilers
• 22:00. QST Rouyn-Noranda Huskies @ Saint John Acadiens
  
  Saturday, October 11th
• 16:00. QST Winnipeg Giants @ Kenora Thunderwolves
• 19:00. QST Sarnia Spark @ Moncton Blades
• 19:00. QST Sherbrooke Phoenix @ Ottawa Senators
• 22:00. QST Attawapiskat Avalanche @ Halifax Tempest
• 22:00. QST Kingston Knights @ Iqaluit Silver Wings
  
  Saturday, October 18th
• 15:00. QST Quebec Nordiques @ Sarnia Spark
• 19:00. QST Blainville-Boisbriand Armada @ Val d'Or Foreurs
• 19:00. QST Baie-Comeau Drakkar @ Attawapiskat Avalanche
• 22:00. QST Victoriaville Tigres @ Saint John Acadiens
• 22:00. QST PLI Islanders @ Acadie-Bathurst Titan
  
  Saturday, October 25th
• 16:30. QST Goose Bay Flames @ Baie-Comeau Drakkar
• 19:00. QST Val d'Or Foreurs @ Rouyn-Noranda Huskies
• 19:00. QST Acadie-Bathurst Titan @ Kingston Knights
• 22:00. QST Montreal Canadiens @ Halifax Tempest
• 22:00. QST Sherbrooke Phoenix @ PLI Islanders

The bolded matches are home openers for home team.

[Luziyca]

The Wheeled Pilgrimage (1897, Eve Urzhem)

It was spring. In my farmhouse, built by the feudal lords, they say, I have wondered a question that I have meant to ask for a long time: what does the rest of this country, this place where Christ was born, appear like? What were the sounds? The young children? The homes? How do they obtain food? It seemed odd, and I finally decided, that since my parents trusted me, I decided to go on my bicycle.

When my mother asked, "Eve, where are you heading to?" I had to think quickly. Should I lie, or should I be honest? I finally decided to be a honest; after all, to lie is a sin twice committed.

"I am going to answer a few question that have been pestering me. What does my country look like? The sounds outside this farm, the children, the homes, and where they get their food from?" I replied. With a silence, I then explained, "I will try to travel to the far reaches of this country, to see the land that God hath given all of us."

My father then responded, "You may be young, at 16, and I feel that it is not right to go." But soon, my mother argued that it was a right for me to discover what this country really is. Finally, my father relented, and came up to me.

"Mademoiselle," he began, "take this." He gave me a purse, filled with stationery, and several feathers and a bottle of ink. "This, young lady, shall be your objective. You need to send me a letter every Saturday, and attend church on Sunday. Also, take these too," as he gave me 3 lira, ten solidum, and five denari. "This is the amount you will need to spend to get your postage. Either way, mademoiselle, good luck."

"I shall follow your command, father, and I wish you luck all the same," I replied.

With that, I jumped onto the bicycle, and began cycling on the brilliant path, out of the farm, to see the magnificent country: its fields were quite stunning, and I hoped it will look as beautiful as a God-given land that it justly is.

The Geadish Question (1973, Joseph Jessop)

The ringing of the alarm clock woke me in my dorm. I was at the University of Vesterhag, and today was the last day of classes. Tomorrow will be the start of a week long break, a gap week if you will. I lived at the front line, at the border between a rebellious area of the Republic of Geadland. It was not as harsh or tight as say, the border with communist-controlled Luziyca, but it was still worrisome. I've been separated for generations from relatives in the rebellious areas. How dare did the Regiment rebel over a century ago, and execute Tomas Kirk! HOW DARE THEY!

My personal rage inside me was noticed by my room-mate, Maria Haclav. She asked me, "Hagen, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," I lied. "Just studying for the exam today in natural science."

Sadly, Maria looked straight through the lie as she said, "Really? It is probably because you feel regret over the division of this part of Luziyca, is it right?"

"Yes," I sadly replied. "I am thankful that we got part of the Solned back, but it isn't enough! This area is collapsing economically! Industries are leaving free Geadland and being outsourced to different states, republics, hell, even different countries! WHY IS IT HAPPENING TO THIS PLACE? WHY NOT SAY, KASHUI!?"

Maria sighed, and she responded, "Hagen, it's alright. It may not be good, but it probably would teach the Luziycan government that-"

"That what?" I asked in rage and clearly interrupted, "that we should renounce our claims to Geadland and restore diplomatic relations? THAT IS BLOODY RIDICULOUS! THEY ARE ALLIES OF NAMOR, OF THOSE COMMIES IN WEST LUZIYCA! Oh, Maria, please, I just can't trust those commies in charge of Geadland."

"Hagen, please. Worry of the politics later, focus on your exam."

I took some deep breaths and said, "Alright, Maria, I will focus." Thus, I got down to studying for the exam.

[Swilatia]

Song #1
A musical journey through the Svilajska Republika (the full version)

----

It all starts with complete darkness. Then, the lights turn on. Long fluorescent tubes, hanging precariously from the ceiling, lit up the room's bare concrete floor and plain white walls, with no windows. It was not a very interesting room, except that it was unusually large, bigger than a typical apartment in Swilatia. Yet, with no kitchen and no bathroom, it would take a lot of work to turn this into a liveable space. Which is why they weren't going to bother.

Then, Mirela, Julian, Stevan, Kristina, Elena, and Kamil all walked in with a completely different plan. Julian laid it all down.

"OK. We're all here, right? So, they want us to help start up a thread. I'm not entirely sure what that means, but I'm sure we can all figure it out, right?"

All the others looked puzzled, so Julian kept explaining.

"They want us to show a little piece of life in Swilatia. We could make like a movie, or a TV show, or even just some random chatter. So long as it's in character... whatever that means."

Stevan was the first to suggest something.

"Hey, we're having a conversation right now, aren't we? Can't we just use that?"

Julian didn't seem too impressed. "Perhaps, but this is supposed to be a big opening. We got to start off with a bang! Put on a real show! Maybe you have an idea, Mirela? You seem to be good at that."

Mirela hadn't thought of anything, but Kristina already had a few different ideas. She took this chance to get one out, before Mirela had a chance to think about something herself.

"I got one! How about we make a song! A music video, maybe. With five WorldVision wins, you can't say we don't know how it's done"

"I don't know" replied Mirela. "WorldVision seems kind of dull now. It's all gone downhill since Kingsley Bedford and Worszary started making all the major production decisions"

"Don't worry about that, Mirela. This is going to be our show, we'll decide how it's done, and in the end we'll get third place for sure!"

Julian seemed to like this idea better. "OK, we're making a music video about how Swilatia is, like totally better than those other countries. We'll need to make scenery, costumes, somebody needs to write the song, the music and the lyrics. Stevan, you can just stand in the corner and smile."

But Stevan was not smiling.

Later that day, an old tattered sofa was brought in, for Julian to lie down on and listen to popular songs for "inspiration", while everybody else was working on getting the show together. Over the next few days, the room slowly filled with props and scenery. There was indeed a lot of work involved, but at least nobody had to install a working bathroom.

Finally, they were ready to shoot, after having set everything up, and rehearsed a few times, in and out of costume. It started the same way as before. Everything was pitch black at first. Then the fluorescent tubes hanging from the ceiling filled the room with their cold, blue light. But everything else was different The walls were painted, a few different scenes were set up for filming in, and a small lounge was set up near the entrance, making it a decent enough space to work in, but probably not to live in. Then, everybody walked into the room, wearing their costumes.

They were all wearing traditional clothing from the different regions of Swilatia. Stevan was from central Swilatia, Mirela was from Halcia, Kristina from Ascadia, Elena from Wenesia, and Kamil from Valenesia. Julian was simply wearing his street clothes, he'd be behind the camera filming it all.

He hit play on the backing track...

Haj!
Haj!
Jak! se! mas! Haj!

We're building up into the sky
The taxes here are too damn high
So come to Swilatia, be welcome here.
You're just what we need this time of year
We've got all the best thing, and everything is free
So come on and stay here, if you like what you see

In! Svi! las! ja!

Maybe one thing just isn't right

Well, perhaps it was their singing, nevertheless they continued, with their own idea. At least the rest of the show was good enough.

It's how we never win anything.

Right here in Svilasja!
It's nowhere but here
We've got all you wanted
Right here, right here.
Right here in Svilasja!
Yeah, we've got it here

In! Svi! laj! ska!
Re! pub! li! ka!

Our beer costs less than water, but it tastes worse too.
If we wanna get drunk, only vodka will do
Where else do you get paid to do nothing all day
But never have enough to spend away

In! Svi! laj! ska!
Re! pub! li! ka!

With our empire gone, we took the show back home
We took the streets, made this land our own
We stand up for freedom and equality
And we're always ready to make a change
If you like what you see, it can be yours too
So you can come and join us

In! Svi! laj! ska!
Re! pub! li! ka!

Right here in Svilasja!
It's nowhere but here
We've got all you wanted
Right here, right here.
Right here in Svilasja!
Yeah, we've got it here

Now all they had to do was put it online. As Kamil hit the submit button, Julian had to comment yet again. "So now it's done. We'll just have to see what the Luziycans and Namorese come up with. I can tell it won't be as good"

Then, Elena finally had something to say, after having been silent for most of the scene. "You know this thread has been up for months now?", she asked.

"Yeah, I know", Kamil admitted "We rushed to get out an unfinished version and the Jahistics posted before us anyway. Better to just get the whole thing done."

[Divitaen]

Club of '39

Club of '39 is an illegal political dissident gathering in the Kingdom of Divitaen. The name of the Club is a reference to the start of the Republican Age in 14 August 1839, when President Cornelius overthrew the Divitaen monarchy, before monarchical rule was reinstated in 29 April 1861. Club members often write satirical poems, songs and short stories in order to criticize the monarchy and praise liberal democracy.

This is a poem written by Club of '39 poet Praskoviya Tsekhanovetsky. She has written many poems in her career, and this is just but one of them.

Profeius*, my love

Oh, Profeius, my love
How much have you lavished upon me?
For what it's worth
How you have flaunted me?

Oh, Profeius, my love
Why did you visit,
Constantly, endlessly
The dens down the street
When men and woman would cackle and shout
Their wins and losses
All night long?

Oh, Profeius, my love
Why did you tell me
All your victories, and your conquests?
Why did you tell me
All your tricks, and all your secrets?

Oh, Profeius, my love
How much I adored you!
How much I love you!
You lavished on me,
A bundle of Lisianthus
Engulfed me in the colours of the Hydrangea
And the dainty Lily of the Valley!

How you would step, across the creek of the midnight door,
With a vivid blue Heart of Eternity
Or the lovely pink of Steinmetz's carat!

And what friends you have,
Profeius, my love!
Their mouths are like the inconstant water
And as lasting as heaven's sweet dew!
How they love to speak with you,
With the voices of a brood of vipers,
Plotting a coup de'tat
With your wealth?

Was that all I was to you,
Profeius, my love?
Was I a business deal, after all?
Was it my depreciating beauty,
For thy boundless, endless wealth,
For thy glistening vaults of gold, silver, rubies?

Oh, Profeius, my love!
How we loved each other so!
Yet I would have exchanged the Diamond of Hope,
And the unending bundles of sweet, sweet saffron,
And the lovely midnight dinners, overlooking
The Palace of Auxiliora*
With filet mignon and bitter chardonnay!
All, I would have given!
For one more day, my love!

Just one day...

When I would see you creep back through
The darkened halls of our mansion home,
With a face not etched in agony,
And a soul unburdened by,
The twisted, fanciful desires of
Fateful, vaulting ambition
That would never be realized.

Just one day...

When I could see a heart, wholesome and untainted,
When I could speak to you, knowing
You did not suffer from the avarice that, like oil,
Floods, weighs and burdens.


*Profeius Street is the name of Divitaen's famous and extremely wealthy financial district
*The Palace of Auxiliora is the home of the Crown Prince of Lacertus

[Vyvland]

On the Campaign Trail: Vyvlander Election 2013

---

Four days left, and the Vyvlander election candidates are coming into the final stretch of the campaign. We've followed each of them this Saturday to find out about their last minute pressures, feelings, anxieties and confidences.

---

Vren Dens - Liberal Party - Langmynd, Kros
Another grim day in the west of the country for Vren Dens and the Liberal campaign wagon. Today she'd arrived at the former milling and port town of Langmynd, centre of a conurbation in which the Liberals have two target seats. Having planned a speech to give in the town's square, she's been put off by the weather and has had to settle for a small covered seating area by the docks. The crowds aren't great, but a few people have turned up; Dens reassures herself that every vote counts. Still, the Prime Minister is probably wasting her time here.

A call comes in at 1:25pm. Dens, apparently, is 'pissing time away' in Langmynd and should instead travel the twenty-five miles to the city of Sgros, where a new venue has been arranged by party hacks. Arriving in the driving rain, Dens's van pulls into the back of a theatre on Murt, the main street of Sgros. Judging by the yellow balloons outside, this is some kind of Liberal event, but Dens knows barely any more than this. She's reassured by the crowds in attendance, but has a whisper with Jaana, her personal secretary.

"Am I not, sort of, preaching to the preached here, Jaana?"

Jaana muffled something, but she didn't sound particularly convinced. Still, Dens had to do something; she didn't really have anywhere else to go. Her ten-minute speech which she'd planned for Langmynd tripped off the tongue. Afterwards, a timid dark-haired campaign worker comes up to her, slightly humbled, and tells her that the weather's supposed to improve tonight. A Q&A follows. She expects tough questions: on immigration, on the military, on leaks - and gets them. Comforts herself in the knowledge that it's the same for the other leaders.

---

Curtis Blymont - Conservative Party - Stiven, Sdaamro
Blymont woke up in a hotel in the northwestern city of Stiven, the centre of a few Conservative target seats. But he knew Sdaamro wasn't exactly Conservative-land; a cool reception seemed likely. As usual, his tiredness kicked in immediately, but a liberal dosage of coffee and energy drinks set this straight. Curtis was used to this campaign routine.

At ten past eight, he left the hotel onto the tree-lined avenue known as Abelbaam Alee in the city centre's southwest, to the bay and beach area. He admired the architecture; Stiven was one of Vyvland's nicest big cities. The only way in which it could improve, Blymont remarks to a party employee, would be by voting out 'all the lefties running the place'.

"Better not say that to the public," his assistant remarks.

Although people like the occasional gaffe or outlandish statement, sometimes Curtis can't help himself. He agrees that that particular soundbite probably wouldn't win voters. Or help him to form an inevitable coalition after the election.

---

Noijel Brule - Socialist Party - Jesel, Southwest
Noijel regrets keeping his moustache for the campaign. Not a day goes by when he wasn't mocked or called 'provincial', and today was no exception. But today he has ammunition. As the leader of the most anti-Luziycan party of the major four, Brule can massively capitalise on the WikiLeaks scandals. However, it would be harder for him to lay a finger of blame, with his party having been in government for the past eight years.

Having awoken, Brule goes with guards to a "listening session" in the morning with the other Socialist politicians on the campaign trail (including ex-PM Selengborg, ex-President Beket, and the Delmeer brothers), where he's inundated with concerns. Complaints about bin collection. Questions about road improvements. These trivial matters shouldn't be bothering a man like him. But it's important (or at least good PR) that he listens.

"Luziyca. They're spying on every one of use, every day. You know what other leaders have done? Sat on their hands. Nothing at all. The Socialists are the only party with a clear platform and coherent policies to combat the ever-growing threat of Luziycan imperialism." The speech rang out particularly well in the city which had served as the centre of Luziycan-supported brutality by Erman Sanker.
"What we will do is simple. Renegotiate trade and commercial deals to ensure Vyvland gets the fairest deal possible. Work with other countries to impose blocks on Luziycan spying. And most importantly, kick the Luzzies out of Syfmion."

His speech is met by a round of applause from the city, which is enjoying a busy Saturday afternoon. After that, Brule walks along the city's old streets, greeting and talking to the shoppers and tourists who're out on the unseasonably warm October afternoon.

That was a pretty good day.

---

Willem de Winkels - National Party - Jesel, Southwest
De Winkels was in the same city as Brule. Yet, despite his popularity, he was drawing far smaller crowds. He blamed the party workers; that was the one fault of the Nationals' organisation. A lack of enough people to organise and publicise, because of their chronic lack of donations. That's what comes from having your support concentrated in poor areas.

The Nationals had chosen worse places for today as well; a noisy square by a major road. Despite de Winkels's booming voice, it was hard to hear him over the roaring. This was a disappointment. Someone was to blame, and this time, it wasn't the 'liberal establishment'.

[Namor]

VideYo

_____________________________________________________7:45_________________________

---

Ohankaist Statist News Episode #50: Namor is an oppressor nation

---

________________
144,555 likes|35,000 dislikes

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*BEGINNING OF VIDEO*

*Ohankaist propaganda music, Weng Xuxao enters*

Hello, VideYo, it's about time I spouted the entire truth to those who don't know it...Namor is an oppressor nation. The reason why is because Ohanka Jon Bak-Su, the Great General of Koyro, says so. You might think I'm a troll, but I'm being 100% correct here, that Namor is the oppressor nation and the nucleus of all evils in western Esquarium, and it's a shame that I was born here and now forced to love this imperialistic hellhole. I mean, why was I born in this fucking place, it's not even great as Koyro, where everyone thinks the SAME WAY! Such a shame that us Namorese have different thoughts, different states of mind, we will never get anywhere if we continue going under the road of that traitor, Alicia Wolf she's called.

But anyway, I was saying how Namor is an oppressor nation. Since ancient times, Namorese Emperors have taught their people that Namor was the center of the universe, and that the Emperor was the Son of Heaven, therefore every country around Namor is subject to the Emperor's decision. No country may rebel against the Namorese because that would be considered a violation of Namorese law. Also back then, the Namorese considered themselves to be superior to other ethnic groups, and expected the ethnic non-Namorese to follow their customs and traditions. That is called cultural genocide, and many non-Namorese---Antelopians, Choreans and Kakus, suffered from this.

Today, the monarchy may have been abolished, but has been replaced with a "republic" that follows the same idea of Namorese oppression. Have you seen Oteki lately (and yes, I say Oteki and not Txotai because I know the right term and I support the Otekian people)? Oh, by Ohanka's beard, Namorese security officers stripping an Otekian man naked for protesting the establishment's brutal ethnic cleansing policies, Otekian culture being harassed. An article from WikiLeaks revealed that the Otekian natives were called "trash" by Namorese officials there. This is the repercussion of the Otekians not being the leaders of their own country. I heard from independent media that the Namorese are trying to have their own people make up around 95% of Oteki's population by the year NMR 2365, now that many Otekians are moving back to Oteki. They want to cleanse Oteki of their native people and replace it with a Namorese-dominated slave society. This is sad...May Ohanka bless them, and may the Otekians overthrow their Namorese oppressors soon. Those who are fighting for Otekian independence have my blessing.

But it's not only Oteki. The Namorese are supporting leftism, and are making sure that those who aren't leftist in Western Esquarium do not get a voice. Take Unolia, for example. Roubao is Unolian territory, and the Jahistic Republic on Unolia is ten times FREER than Roubao, and I know that because Ohanka says so. Also, in Unolia you're allowed to carry firearms, are you allowed to do that in Namor? No, not at all.

Roubao is just a puppet/satellite regime set up by the Namorese so they can overthrow the free government on mainland Unolia, that is for certain. The truth is that Roubao is not free...rightism is banned, and the Green Party wins every single election. The Namorese then go forth to back up that regime of hippies, even though most Roubanese are against the puppet establishment. One way the Namorese do this is by spreading the fabrication in their media that Roubao is a pearl of freedom and democracy, which are bad ideas fundamentally in the first place. Roubao is not free, it is enslaved. It seems like the only way to have Roubao reunite with the Unolian Fatherland is by violently overthrowing these Namorese.

VideYo...sometimes I feel ashamed that I'm talking about how life in Namor sucks, yet I'm not doing anything about it. I can't go on a violent revolution like the Great General does, because if I do I'll get crushed by the authorities here anyway. Here's what I BEG for you viewers to do. If you find a way to get me out of Namor and into Koyro, Unolia, ANYWHERE where my views will be accepted, I'll give you this...free movie ticket that's already expi--uh, never mind, but I'll thank you with the bottom of my heart. My ultimate life mission is to live in a country like Koyro where my rights will be protected and my love for Ohanka will be accepted. If you know how to get me out of here, contact me. Please, another day here and I'll go berserk...

*END OF VIDEO*

[Vyvland]

Around the Country: Vyvlander Election 2013

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The Vyvlander election beckons; with only two days to go, candidates have done almost all they can do. It's up to the voters now. We've been up and down the country, chasing voters from Norflaan to Syfsdop, for their opinions on the parties and candidates.

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Markys Tartelig-Zwobzmef - Investment bank clerk - Vlud
"Let me start by saying that I think some of the parties around are total pollywaddle! What we don't need is extremism or reactionarism or any of that nonsense. What we need is a sensible set of policies which help us to prosper, strengthen and grow as a nation, same as ever. And what we need to achieve this is a sensible, middle-of-the-road party, same as ever. I've voted Liberal and Conservative before, and up until yesterday, the Conservative box would've had by mark in it. But hearing about this Nevan spying scandal - can I take this opportunity to say how totally out of order Nevanmaa's racial polcies are - you know, it's taken me off supporting the Conservatives. The Capitalists are a serious option now. I wouldn't vote for the Liberals again because of what they've got themselves into in this leftwing government. It's not all about helping the poor and layabouts, you know - as well as everyone giving a fair contribution to the government, everyone should be able to get something fair back."

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Anjreia Tiytelorn - Part-time - Wevel, Sdaamro
"All the parties are basically sh*t, you get me? I'm here, working my - whatever, choose a body part - off, and paying my taxes, and nothing is done for me. I tell you, I'm not voting. If they're not doing anything for me, I'm not gonna get of my backside, and go voting for them."

Who, Ms. Tiytelorn, would you vote for if, say, voting was compulsory?

"Well, the Nationals haven't pissed the country up yet like the others have, and they seem to be saying at least some of the right things. They're not ideal though."

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Jakob Grönheim - Dock manager - Lishag, Nevel
"As a Geadish Vyvlander, I'm torn between voting for the Geadish Party and going for something nationwide, which would probably be the Socialists, maybe the Communists - I mean, United Left - now they're more moderate. One the one arm, the Geadish Party I know will represent me and those around me in Parliament, and that's important - if we didn't have a strong local voice, we'd be ignored by central government, and look at what happened to the Swedes. But on the other, the Geadish Party don't really stand for anything in particular. I mean, my beliefs, they align best with the Socialists, so I don't think the Geadish Party has enough of a left-wing contingent for me. And they're basically never going to get into government, even as part of the Alliance for Independence."

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Ruud de Jong - IT technician - Laargen, East
"Hey, I live in Willem de Winkels's constituency. But you wouldn't catch me voting for him, not in a million years. What I want for the region and for Dutch Vyvlanders is greater autonomy, so I'm still floating, but I'd say it's between the DPP [Dutch People's Party, social democrats] and DU [Dutch Union, conservative liberals] - it's typical, I'm a terrible procrastinator! If I lived anywhere outside the East, I'd vote for the Liberals. I'm a relatively liberal man at heart, so for me de Winkels's party are also way too authoritarian and reactionary, and I don't like where they come from. It's not a friendly party."

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Yte Keleer - Train driver - Olsence, Southwest
"There's only one option round here, and I'm glad there is. My local MP's a Socialist, and they've got a good showing in the province as well. Oh, and the MP, she's Selengborg as well, who I like as a person. I think how she got voted out as Prime Minister, that stuff about her grandad or grandma or whoever, it was totally irrelevant. She's a real woman who stands up for real people and what we need, and I like that. Blymont and people just don't d the job, in fact, they're a bit of a gamble. I want to keep my rights to strike and protest, which I've done before, and I don't want those rights to be torn up, which is I fear what would happen if we go towards the right. I wouldn't vote for anyone but the Socialists, come to think of it."

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Ana Mencesoim - Civil servant - Lorence
"I work for the government, so I know the ins and outs, I know what goes on. Mark my words, I'll definitely be voting. But I've been a civil servant for, well, about thirty years now, so I've worked under all the parties, since reunification. And can I tell you, the nicest people, consistently, are the Greens. They're always really involved in their job, and they seem like great local and provincial MPs. I think what's important in a system like ours is that you vote for the most dedicated politicians who work the hardest for you, and I think the Greens fulfil that criterion."

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Elbert Hopmaan - Thatcher - Oberhusi, Brudon
"Well, I grew up in the Sanker days, and I remember it back then. The town was thriving, and we were all getting richer, and, y'know, it was all good news. Now we reunify and - even though the border's just three kilometres away, this town's only a little bit of what it once was. The young people have all moved out - and people complain about young people, but they by God bring a bit of life to the place - and it's just us old folk left, and I wouldn't be surprised if there's only one man and his dog left in twenty or so years time. It's a beautiful place too, the whole valley is. The people who can return it to how it once was - the Nationals. They've got a good strong leader - weird hair, but a strong chap anyway - and good policies - more moderate than usual, which is probably better - and this year is their best chance yet of getting in."

[Vyvland]

Elections in Vyvland Explained

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Elections in Vyvland are held at least every four years to the unicameral parliament simply known as Parliament (in Vyvlander, Laanfeng). There are 568 seats in Parliament, so 285 or more are needed for a majority.

The members are elected through a mixed-member proportional representation system for each of the 17 provinces.

Each province contains a number of single-member constituencies proportional to its population; each constituency on average contains 100,000 inhabitants. There are 280 single-member constituencies in total.

Each province also receives a number of party list seats which, when added to the single-member seats, make a number proportional to that province's population. There are 288 party list seats in total.

Each ballot paper has two voting lists; one for the constituency and one for the province. First, the constituency votes in each constituency are counted. The candidate with the most votes in each constituency wins.

Once the constituency votes for each constituency in a province have been counted, the province votes are counted. Provincial list seats are allocated to ensure total seats (party list seats + constituency seats) are as near as possibly proportional to the party list votes.

For example, take a three-way competition between Parties A, B and C in a province with 5 constituency seats and 5 party list seats. Party A gains 3 constituency seats, Party B gains 2 constituency seats, and Party C gains none. However, Party A won 49% of the party list vote, Party B won 30% and Party C won 21%. A proportional number of seats between the parties in this province would be A 5, B 3, C 2. After the constituency votes have been counted, the seat total is A 3, B 2, C 0. Therefore, to achieve proportionality, the 5 party list seats are distributed so Party A gets 2, Party B gets 1, and Party C gets 2.

What if a party scores far higher for constituencies than it does party lists?
Take the province mentioned previously. Assuming the same vote shares were the same, but Party B won 4 of the 5 constituency seats, with Party A winning the other. Therefore, Party B would already have gone over its quota of party list seats because based on party list results, Party B should only have 3 seats. In this case, the 5 party list seats would be distributed to give the greatest proportionality possible. Therefore, Party A receives 3 party list seats and Party C receives 2 using the Saint-Laguë method. This makes A 4, B 4, C 2.

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All provinces' members are then added up to find the total composition of members returned to the Vyvlander Parliament.

[Iglesian Archipelago]

Is Iglesiantis a really peaceful country?
Opinion article by Yarel Kesega, Labour Party MP

We all believed throughout the 2000's that Iglesiantis would champion the pacifism contest. It seems we don't believe as such now. A WikiLeaks report revealed the presence of seven active nuclear bombs in the Iglesian military base of Pee, Vyvland.

For too much time we thought Iglesiantis was a champion of peace. Now we know that the Iglesian Armed Forces have imperialist intentions, not much different from Luziyca. Iglesiantis is still a nuclear state therefore. It seems the Pee officers still want to see Iglesiantis as a superpower.

Iglesiantis should denuclearise the area. Mel Dario's demand of denuclearisation in the late 1990's was pivotal to the pacification of the country. Besides, we wanted to make a peaceful image of our nation during the 2000 Summer Olympics, held in Los Vientos, which eventually seemed to happen. At that time, we did not participate in any war, and we should thank Mel Dario for not participating in any wars.

The Iglesian military set up the Pee base in the 1940's, when the Cold War began. We still manage that base today, for which the Iglesian Armed Forces claim the need to protect Vyvland as the country is surrounded by ultra-interventionist countries such as Namor, Luziyca and Unolia. But how much time will this happen?

Iglesiantis is still quite warmongering, after all. Take a look at our very long history and take your own conclusions. We need a really peaceful Iglesiantis as soon as possible.

[Maryginia]

"No, No, NO!!!" The man said, as he saw the checkered banner, Flag of the Newly Formed Marejaan Youth Front, in the city of Caaldoon, the state of Ponaad, These were former students from around the country, On strike. The building was the largest school in the state, Half of the group, grabbed the man, tarring and feathering all but his forehead, on which they branded the Marejaan flag on it. The Other half, using sledgehammers and the like, busted down the school walls, and finally, burned it to the ground. The Monarch had given a speech the day before, Condemning Luziyca and any elements of it in Marejaan, ordering a purge of it, and after an investigation, it was determined that many schools had Luziycan elements in them, They needed to be purged, this school was one of them, they left the man shouting, "This is what happens to those who help the "Luzzy pigs!"

[The Jahistic Unified Republic]

Unolian Handball League Changes
League still stationed in Unolia, to be known as "Esquarian Handball League"

World's League (Replaces Jahistic Handball Federation):
WL West:
Hartly Herons (Ainin)
Batoon Ghost Riders (Maryjaan)
Heersduik Boom Moordenaar (Vyvland)
Jerusalem HC (Luziyca)
Vesterhag HC (Luziyca)
Onmutu Seamen (Ghant)

WL East:
Winnipeg Wyverns (Quebec)
Port William Spartans (Quebec)
Vittorian Lions (Everia)
Revolutionary City Handball Union (Koyro)
CB Granadino (Cata Larga)
CB Puerte-de-Liberete (Cata Larga)

National League:
NL East:
Urgerbia Doves
Colerland Dockmen
Springland Hornets
Bradburgh Buffalos
Beckistan Ruptures
Grantwillow Mockingbirds

NL West:
Kentanu Tikis
Unolia Revolutionaries
New Ukruda Phalanx
Norwu Merchants
Brookopolis Lighthouses
Chesterdale Fortsguards

[Geadland]

On this day...
The Prime Minister has lost his seat
Monday 28 November 1983

Prime Minister Jeppe Adelvik has lost his seat in the House of Representatives, after it was confirmed that he had been defeated by an anti-gerrymandering campaigner on the final count. The result has been described as "the final nail in the coffin" for Adelvik's incumbent SDLP government, who suffered a drubbing from voters in last Saturday's snap election. He will become one of at least 76 incumbent SDLP MPs who have been unseated, with a few more expected to be unseated when the rest of the results are declared.

The June election saw the Bondevik district elect Adelvik (SDLP) alongside Jens Snaeder (Conservative), Peter den Insel (Conservative) and Teodorus Martins (Christian People's Party). While the three other incumbent MPs were re-elected, Adelvik lost his seat to Jüte Rosengard, a candidate for the anti-tax Progressive Party. The SDLP's vote share in Bondevik plummeted from 31% to 11%, compared to 39% to 27% nationwide, as a result of a strong local backlash against the government's aborted plans to redraw the parliamentary map in the Bondevik area. Voter turnout actually increased in the Bondevik district compared to the June election, defying a sharp drop nationwide.

Rosengard said she was "delighted" to have won the seat. "This is a magnificent result for us. The Prime Minister is paying the price for his dirty tricks." Rosengard is a former member of the SDLP but joined the Progressives four years ago after being persuaded by her husband Christjan. She stood in the Harlo district in 1979 and spent the last four years building up support for the Progressives in Bondevik. In June, Rosengard's efforts nearly paid off as she came close to winning Martins' seat on the final count. More recently, Rosengard led the local Halt Krakent ("Stop the cracking!") campaign against the government's redistricting proposals, which critics believed to be an attempt to gerrymander the parliamentary map. There was a particular controversy over the proposed withdrawing of the districts in the Bondevik-Harlo-Grunfeld area; the SDLP would have gained two extra seats had this map been used in June.

Adelvik had already announced his intention to resign yesterday after the first wave of results showed that the SDLP were on course for defeat and that the Pact of '79 alliance were on course to win a decisive majority of seats. He said he was "greatly disappointed" to have lost his seat but "the voter has spoken and the voter's word is final." In an interview afterwards, he told GRK supporters that "it was embarrassing, yes, but convenient in a way. I would have probably resigned from parliament anyway even if I had been re-elected."

Bondevik will become one of the 9 districts who so far have no SDLP representation. This is in contrast to the 1972 election, when the SDLP won 2 of its 4 seats. 23 districts have not finished declaring their results.

The Constitution states that a Prime Minister must be a sitting member of the House of Representatives. Adelvik must therefore resign by 5 December when the new chamber will convene. If the opposition parties fail to form a government by this time, he will have to be temporarily replaced by one of his SDLP colleagues. However, Conservative leader Gunnhild Måssendal has said that the new coalition "should be ready by Thursday". The coalition will consist of the Conservative, Liberal and Christian People's parties, with cabinet posts divided proportionally and Måssendal serving as Prime Minister.

[Namor]

Lenshu | Леншу
Namor's #1 Social Networking Site!

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Unolian Media Watch 170 likes
Founded 2003, Unolian Media Watch (UMW)'s main goal is to analyze the aspects of extremism that dominate Jahistic Unolian state media at all levels.

Unolian Media Watch (November 30, NMR 2360)

A few days ago, The Firebrand, Unolia's state newspaper, posted this obscene one-panel "political cartoon" in their "Comics" section. It portrays a Unolian "revolutionary" ball being "reunited" with the smaller Roubanese "ball," with a red hourglass (symbol of Jahisticism) marked on it, implying that Roubao will be under Jahistic control. Far away, the Namorese "counter-revolutionary" ball is smashed dead. This political cartoon is supposed to incite hate against Namor in Unolian society, a program just too familiar to the Jahistic leadership.

The caption "soon, very soon" implies that sooner or later, the Jahistic Unolians will destroy Namor and invade Roubao without a battle fought.

56 people like this.

[Luziyca]

Luziycan Twitter Feed

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