Luminesa wrote:Soleil blinked, as he looked at Shaun's tearful face, and he realized he really had touched Shaun's heart. He had started crying. It had been such a long time, it seemed, since someone had told him they truly loved him. Now he was not even sure how to take it, and he asked Soleil about himself, about his own feelings.
"...I feel scared, most of the time," he answered, looking down at the bunny. "...I always make the wrong assumptions about people, in my head...The voice in my head always tells me everything is wrong, and it's my fault...and then I feel down...but then I feel happy again, when I see others...but then that voice always talks me down again...I-I think it's because...My mother always talked me down, when I was little...She would always tell me I was doing something wrong, or that I was naive, or that I needed to spend more time learning to fight...I never wanted to fight, not until now...I am now learning to defend myself, but I have...never known how to defend myself from...from my own mind...I am so scared of everything..."
As he spoke, pouring his heart out, he felt himself becoming more anxious. Thus, he continued petting the bunny, to try and calm himself down. "...Well, everything except animals..." he continued, as he smiled down at the bunny. "...I have never been afraid of animals, not even really big ones...When I was little, I would run into the woods to get away from my family...and it was always full of animals...Squirrels, chipmunks, bunnies. birds, bears...sometimes even stray cats and dogs...and they always seemed so happy...so peaceful...And so I grew closer to them. My constructs showed it...I-I would spend hours a day in the forest making constructs of animals...b-but...I never felt like it was a useful skill until I came here..." He now looked at Shaun again and smiled. "And I am happy that I came here. I feel so loved and safe with all of you...I never want to go home again..." His smile was incredibly sad, but he truly did feel joy, when he was with Shaun and his friends.
Shaun
Shaun sat back and listened to Soleil's story. As he did, the bunny in his arms dug his face in Soleil's arms before poking it's small head out and looking up at him as if it too was filled with comfort and concern with it's twitchy nose and ears while it's small, puffy tail wiggled a bit before it once again curled itself into a ball and relaxed in his arms. Then a small sneeze that sounded more like a squeak came from the construct.
Shaun looked at Soleil once he was done, now speechless as he tried to collect everything he heard and process them so that he could speak. "I see...Now I know why...And I understand what you're going through. Even though you feel as though something bad isn't happening, there's still a part of you, a 'voice' as you will, that makes you think as though everything isn't fine. But even if that voice or your mother says otherwise, I want you to know as well as yourself to know that nothing is wrong with you.I want you to remember everything that I said during that night as well as now and forever:
There's nothing wrong, or naive, or weak about you. In fact, just talking about this now just shows that you're fighting. And even though you may be scared, just know that I will be there for you though thick and thin to make sure that you're safe. And even though me and everyone else are not always going to be there for you, I want you to be brave and push through and fight through this. Even if you don't like it or feel as though that voice or the world is out to fill you with despair, I want you to know that no matter what, be brave and do your very best. And if it doesn't happen today, than try again the next day. And the day after and after until you finally conquer it. Never give up, regardless of what your mother, someone else or that voice in your head say. It only starts and it only starts with yourself and the hope and love of everyone around you.
And like you care for your animal constructs and make them feel safe and will protect them, I want you to do the same to yourself. Because just like an animal construct: You will always be loved by a special someone, and that special someone is Soleil. Yourself. And for every construct you make and love, you put a bit of love and care into them as well as yourself. Never forget that." Shaun said sounding serious and passionate; even though it may have sounded like he was being redundant a bit, he was still trying to get the hang of what passion was, and thus repeated himself to make sure that he was heard and what he wanted was to be heard. And what he wanted was to Soleil to hear that he was a strong-willed person. He then quickly remember something. "Oh, and smile. Whether though the trials and joys of life, smile. Be happy, and most of all enjoy...You." He said looking at Sol with his soft purple eyes glistening with passion as well as tears. A small smile can be seen on his face. "If I can do it, than so can you. Like you told me: You're amazing a-and I want you to be happy."