by Rupudska » Mon May 13, 2013 5:16 pm
Hladgos wrote:Scantly clad women, more like tanks
seem to be blowing up everyones banks
with airstrikes from girls with wings to their knees
which show a bit more than just their panties
by Ceannairceach » Mon May 13, 2013 5:56 pm
by Transoxthraxia » Mon May 13, 2013 6:44 pm
The Nuclear Fist wrote:Transoxthraxia confirmed for shit taste
by Kaosu Enterprises » Mon May 13, 2013 6:48 pm
by Zarkenis Ultima » Mon May 13, 2013 7:08 pm
by Utceforp » Mon May 13, 2013 7:28 pm
by Konariona » Mon May 13, 2013 7:43 pm
by AETEN II » Mon May 13, 2013 8:17 pm
"Quod Vult, Valde Valt"
Excuse me, sir. Seeing as how the V.P. is such a V.I.P., shouldn't we keep the P.C. on the Q.T.? 'Cause if it leaks to the V.C. he could end up M.I.A., and then we'd all be put out in K.P.
Nationstatelandsville wrote:"Why'd the chicken cross the street?"
"Because your dad's a whore."
"...He died a week ago."
"Of syphilis, I bet."
by Neo Arcad » Mon May 13, 2013 8:57 pm
Ostroeuropa wrote:Two shirtless men on a pushback with handlebar moustaches and a kettle conquered India, at 17:04 in the afternoon on a Tuesday. They rolled the bike up the hill and demanded that the natives set about acquiring bureaucratic records.
Des-Bal wrote:Modern politics is a series of assholes and liars trying to be more angry than each other until someone lets a racist epithet slip and they all scatter like roaches.
NSLV wrote:Introducing the new political text from acclaimed author/yak, NEO ARCAD, an exploration of nuclear power in the Middle East and Asia, "Nuclear Penis: He Won't Call You Again".
by AETEN II » Mon May 13, 2013 9:31 pm
Neo Arcad wrote:Astrid Helle sighed. It was one thing to have to hunt down a dangerous wizard in catacombs a thousand feet deep. It was another entirely to have to do it with the three most incompetent mooks she'd ever seen in her life. They were locals, probably from some criminal organization in the city, and their armament matched their level of competence and intelligence. The only thing they had going for them was muscle. They seemed like the type of cannon fodder who'd usually just punch their way through a problem. As if this wasn't enough to convince her to let them go on ahead, they were making catcalls from the moment she arrived.
So when they were all dead at the hands of a squid-man, half an hour later, Astrid wasn't exactly distraught. The major problem she had was being held at gunpoint by the eldritch warlock. She hadn't had time to draw her pistol before his was trained on her with an unsteady hand. Still, even an inexperienced shooter could deal a fatal shot at such a close range. "Relax, I'll put down my gun, see?" she said, removing her gun belt and placing it on the ground. When she had done so, she began raising her hands as if to put them above her head, but instead, she cupped them and pointed them at the squiddly fellow's firearm, enveloping it in a beam of chaotic energy. The weapon would basically meltsplode in his hand if he didn't relinquish his grip on it; in any case, Astrid didn't even give him time to think about shooting at her. She struck out at him with a snappy high kick and then a flurry of punches, none of which would be particularly effective in felling the fairly well-built cephalopod, but might serve to throw him off guard for a few moments, so that she could get at her gun.
"Quod Vult, Valde Valt"
Excuse me, sir. Seeing as how the V.P. is such a V.I.P., shouldn't we keep the P.C. on the Q.T.? 'Cause if it leaks to the V.C. he could end up M.I.A., and then we'd all be put out in K.P.
Nationstatelandsville wrote:"Why'd the chicken cross the street?"
"Because your dad's a whore."
"...He died a week ago."
"Of syphilis, I bet."
by Neo Arcad » Mon May 13, 2013 10:36 pm
AETEN II wrote:Neo Arcad wrote:Astrid Helle sighed. It was one thing to have to hunt down a dangerous wizard in catacombs a thousand feet deep. It was another entirely to have to do it with the three most incompetent mooks she'd ever seen in her life. They were locals, probably from some criminal organization in the city, and their armament matched their level of competence and intelligence. The only thing they had going for them was muscle. They seemed like the type of cannon fodder who'd usually just punch their way through a problem. As if this wasn't enough to convince her to let them go on ahead, they were making catcalls from the moment she arrived.
So when they were all dead at the hands of a squid-man, half an hour later, Astrid wasn't exactly distraught. The major problem she had was being held at gunpoint by the eldritch warlock. She hadn't had time to draw her pistol before his was trained on her with an unsteady hand. Still, even an inexperienced shooter could deal a fatal shot at such a close range. "Relax, I'll put down my gun, see?" she said, removing her gun belt and placing it on the ground. When she had done so, she began raising her hands as if to put them above her head, but instead, she cupped them and pointed them at the squiddly fellow's firearm, enveloping it in a beam of chaotic energy. The weapon would basically meltsplode in his hand if he didn't relinquish his grip on it; in any case, Astrid didn't even give him time to think about shooting at her. She struck out at him with a snappy high kick and then a flurry of punches, none of which would be particularly effective in felling the fairly well-built cephalopod, but might serve to throw him off guard for a few moments, so that she could get at her gun.
Ysgolor gagged as the bitch mercenary's flurry of punches completely knocked the wind out of him and left him breathless. By the time he recovered the merc was holding a new gun to his head, much to his annoyance.
"C͜an'̸t́ yo͘u͝ just ͠p̷ut dow̶n̷ t҉h̵e̕ g͠u͟n҉ ̛a͝nd̶ wal̕k ͜away͟,̕ ̡o̢r m̸us̸t͞ w̶e͠ ̸d́o ͘t͘h͢i͝s t͞h҉e͘ ̡har͘d̀ ͞w͏a͏y҉?͜" Ysgolor asked before casting an illusion that hopefully fooled Astrid into thinking that her gun was now a rose.
"Dąw', why ̧thank ͠y̡o̴u. Álb͟e͝įt͢ ͝a͞ b͏i͠t̸ r̵ol͘e r͘ever͡sąl,͜ ͠but ̵I'͜d̶ rat̢h̵e̵r͘ ͠a ҉ro͞se t̢han a̕ ̕g̶ùn͞.̀ A̵nd́ ̶if ̢yo̶u͞ ͠mu̡s͏t͠ pr̶olo҉ńg ̢th̴e͞ ͢f͠ig̸h̡t, ͜I'͜m ̧c̡ȩrt̴aįņ t̕h̢e͢r̛e's ̨a ̸S͏h̕ogģót̕h ̀śom̶ew̢he͜r͏e t͢hat ̧w̡o͝uld ̢e̛n͝j̶oỳ ͢de̡vóuring̀ y̸o͢u ̕for ́e̛t̡e̶rnìt̵y̷.̢" Ysgolor jokingly threatened Astrid while carefully pulling the 'rose' out of her hands and sticking it in her mouth.
"Bęt͜te̕r?͞ I͘ t͢h̷i҉n̵k ̀so̴.̛ N҉o͏w h͏ow͘ ͠b̀out yo҉u ̛sur̡re̛nd͝er͜, b͝a̧c̕ḱ ͡a̛w̶ay̵,͟ the͝n f́le͜e?̡ ̷No̶t ͢o̢nly do͏es̀ it pr̵ol͟ong ͏y̴ou͞r ͝l̡ife҉s͡p̕an, b͠ùt̸ pr͟eve͘n͟t m̨e ̛f͜rom ̶wa͠sti͜n̵g an̡ ͞ot͏h̢e͟r̨wi͢sè ̷pr͏ett̶y li͝f̷e̵. ́T̕he̡ Gr̛ea͜t O̵ld͡ One͏s̕ do de҉ma͠n͘d t́heir sac̛rįf̛i͝ces,͠ b̛u͜t ͜I̴'͢v҉e̶ a̴l̵ready s͢ent ͠thr͟èe todày͟ ̛to M̛other̡'s ̶r̀eal̵m̴. Must҉ y͜o̸u ͝i̧n͏s̨i̸st on join҉ing ̸them?̀" Ysgolor tauntingly questioned Astrid while carefully placing his left foot into the water of the catacombs.Can't you just put down the gun and walk away, or must we do this the hard way?
Daw', why thank you. Albeit a bit role reversal, but I'd rather a rose than a gun. And if you must prolong the fight, I'm certain there's a Shoggoth somewhere that would enjoy devouring you for eternity.
Better? I think so. Now how bout you surrender, back away, then flee? Not only does it prolong your lifespan, but prevent me from wasting an otherwise pretty life. The Great Old Ones do demand their sacrifices, but I've already sent three today to Mother's realm. Must you insist on joining them?
Ostroeuropa wrote:Two shirtless men on a pushback with handlebar moustaches and a kettle conquered India, at 17:04 in the afternoon on a Tuesday. They rolled the bike up the hill and demanded that the natives set about acquiring bureaucratic records.
Des-Bal wrote:Modern politics is a series of assholes and liars trying to be more angry than each other until someone lets a racist epithet slip and they all scatter like roaches.
NSLV wrote:Introducing the new political text from acclaimed author/yak, NEO ARCAD, an exploration of nuclear power in the Middle East and Asia, "Nuclear Penis: He Won't Call You Again".
by AETEN II » Mon May 13, 2013 11:06 pm
Neo Arcad wrote:AETEN II wrote:
Ysgolor gagged as the bitch mercenary's flurry of punches completely knocked the wind out of him and left him breathless. By the time he recovered the merc was holding a new gun to his head, much to his annoyance.
"C͜an'̸t́ yo͘u͝ just ͠p̷ut dow̶n̷ t҉h̵e̕ g͠u͟n҉ ̛a͝nd̶ wal̕k ͜away͟,̕ ̡o̢r m̸us̸t͞ w̶e͠ ̸d́o ͘t͘h͢i͝s t͞h҉e͘ ̡har͘d̀ ͞w͏a͏y҉?͜" Ysgolor asked before casting an illusion that hopefully fooled Astrid into thinking that her gun was now a rose.
"Dąw', why ̧thank ͠y̡o̴u. Álb͟e͝įt͢ ͝a͞ b͏i͠t̸ r̵ol͘e r͘ever͡sąl,͜ ͠but ̵I'͜d̶ rat̢h̵e̵r͘ ͠a ҉ro͞se t̢han a̕ ̕g̶ùn͞.̀ A̵nd́ ̶if ̢yo̶u͞ ͠mu̡s͏t͠ pr̶olo҉ńg ̢th̴e͞ ͢f͠ig̸h̡t, ͜I'͜m ̧c̡ȩrt̴aįņ t̕h̢e͢r̛e's ̨a ̸S͏h̕ogģót̕h ̀śom̶ew̢he͜r͏e t͢hat ̧w̡o͝uld ̢e̛n͝j̶oỳ ͢de̡vóuring̀ y̸o͢u ̕for ́e̛t̡e̶rnìt̵y̷.̢" Ysgolor jokingly threatened Astrid while carefully pulling the 'rose' out of her hands and sticking it in her mouth.
"Bęt͜te̕r?͞ I͘ t͢h̷i҉n̵k ̀so̴.̛ N҉o͏w h͏ow͘ ͠b̀out yo҉u ̛sur̡re̛nd͝er͜, b͝a̧c̕ḱ ͡a̛w̶ay̵,͟ the͝n f́le͜e?̡ ̷No̶t ͢o̢nly do͏es̀ it pr̵ol͟ong ͏y̴ou͞r ͝l̡ife҉s͡p̕an, b͠ùt̸ pr͟eve͘n͟t m̨e ̛f͜rom ̶wa͠sti͜n̵g an̡ ͞ot͏h̢e͟r̨wi͢sè ̷pr͏ett̶y li͝f̷e̵. ́T̕he̡ Gr̛ea͜t O̵ld͡ One͏s̕ do de҉ma͠n͘d t́heir sac̛rįf̛i͝ces,͠ b̛u͜t ͜I̴'͢v҉e̶ a̴l̵ready s͢ent ͠thr͟èe todày͟ ̛to M̛other̡'s ̶r̀eal̵m̴. Must҉ y͜o̸u ͝i̧n͏s̨i̸st on join҉ing ̸them?̀" Ysgolor tauntingly questioned Astrid while carefully placing his left foot into the water of the catacombs.Can't you just put down the gun and walk away, or must we do this the hard way?
Daw', why thank you. Albeit a bit role reversal, but I'd rather a rose than a gun. And if you must prolong the fight, I'm certain there's a Shoggoth somewhere that would enjoy devouring you for eternity.
Better? I think so. Now how bout you surrender, back away, then flee? Not only does it prolong your lifespan, but prevent me from wasting an otherwise pretty life. The Great Old Ones do demand their sacrifices, but I've already sent three today to Mother's realm. Must you insist on joining them?
The illusion was entirely convincing to Astrid. Her gun was... gone. She let the rose drop to the floor, not hearing the clatter. She immediately began coming up with options. Here was the chance to take him down, while he was talking about his gods. Astrid once again made a movement like she was going to comply. "I'd love to just walk away..." she began, turning away. "...but I'm not going back empty-handed!" she said, whirling around into another physical attack. Emboldened by her previous success, she moved forwards much more recklessly in her strikes, even stepping into the water. Magic tricks wouldn't stop her from getting that book.
"Quod Vult, Valde Valt"
Excuse me, sir. Seeing as how the V.P. is such a V.I.P., shouldn't we keep the P.C. on the Q.T.? 'Cause if it leaks to the V.C. he could end up M.I.A., and then we'd all be put out in K.P.
Nationstatelandsville wrote:"Why'd the chicken cross the street?"
"Because your dad's a whore."
"...He died a week ago."
"Of syphilis, I bet."
by Agritum » Tue May 14, 2013 4:51 am
by Kaosu Enterprises » Tue May 14, 2013 5:37 am
by Starkindler » Tue May 14, 2013 12:55 pm
by Rupudska » Tue May 14, 2013 2:17 pm
Hladgos wrote:Scantly clad women, more like tanks
seem to be blowing up everyones banks
with airstrikes from girls with wings to their knees
which show a bit more than just their panties
by Kaosu Enterprises » Tue May 14, 2013 2:45 pm
by Rupudska » Tue May 14, 2013 2:52 pm
Hladgos wrote:Scantly clad women, more like tanks
seem to be blowing up everyones banks
with airstrikes from girls with wings to their knees
which show a bit more than just their panties
by Konariona » Tue May 14, 2013 6:08 pm
by Rupudska » Tue May 14, 2013 6:16 pm
Konariona wrote:Nadal had continued walking along the road, waiting for something to happen, or someone to talk to, when he spotted a lizard-man hit a car, blithely hissing at the driver. He motioned for the driver to pull the window down- the woman was obviously frustrated- and said,
"Is that lizard giving you any trouble, madam?"
Hladgos wrote:Scantly clad women, more like tanks
seem to be blowing up everyones banks
with airstrikes from girls with wings to their knees
which show a bit more than just their panties
by Konariona » Tue May 14, 2013 6:22 pm
Rupudska wrote:
Violet shook her head after about a second of looking at him oddly. What a strange question for him to have asked. Obviously he was giving her trouble, he walked into her car in the middle of the street! Either he was, for some bizarre reason she had no knowledge of, out to get her, or he was simply stupid. Or, worse, perhaps he was one of those psychopaths who hated everyone and felt no remorse about... well, anything. "Nothing I can't handle. Though it'd be nice if you could check my front end for me. I can't see anything lower than the hood's tip from here."
by Neo Arcad » Tue May 14, 2013 9:39 pm
AETEN II wrote:Neo Arcad wrote:
The illusion was entirely convincing to Astrid. Her gun was... gone. She let the rose drop to the floor, not hearing the clatter. She immediately began coming up with options. Here was the chance to take him down, while he was talking about his gods. Astrid once again made a movement like she was going to comply. "I'd love to just walk away..." she began, turning away. "...but I'm not going back empty-handed!" she said, whirling around into another physical attack. Emboldened by her previous success, she moved forwards much more recklessly in her strikes, even stepping into the water. Magic tricks wouldn't stop her from getting that book.
Ysgolor yelped as he was assaulted again by Astrid and would have had the snot beat out of him, if he had nostrils in the first place. The uppercut at the series of attacks was simply the finisher that sent Ysgolor stumping to the ground. Grumbling at being soaked by the Merc's attacks, Ysgolor anrgily swept his legs as to trip Astrid before pulling his water-proof sack from the stream running through the catacombs. Sighly happily as he found the seal remained intact and the contents were safe, Ysgolor then tackled Astrid and wrapped the four tentacles that sprouted from the front of his hand around Astrid's neck.
"MU͡S͠T̕ wę co̶ntinue?͏ Or wìll ҉you̸ ̶f̕orce m̛e t̀o ́en͟d ̀y͝o͜ur҉ li̸f҉e?̴ ́S͞ųr̶re͠nde̕r al̢l ̛d̷a͡m̢ned ready҉ ͝a̴ǹd̵ ͟le̶t ͢th̛i̶s ̛p̵a̢theti̵c s͢q̶ua͟bble͡ of y̡óurs be͏ ͢o̧ver!͢"MUST we continue? Or will you force me to end your life? Surrender all damned ready and let this pathetic squabble of yours be over!
Ostroeuropa wrote:Two shirtless men on a pushback with handlebar moustaches and a kettle conquered India, at 17:04 in the afternoon on a Tuesday. They rolled the bike up the hill and demanded that the natives set about acquiring bureaucratic records.
Des-Bal wrote:Modern politics is a series of assholes and liars trying to be more angry than each other until someone lets a racist epithet slip and they all scatter like roaches.
NSLV wrote:Introducing the new political text from acclaimed author/yak, NEO ARCAD, an exploration of nuclear power in the Middle East and Asia, "Nuclear Penis: He Won't Call You Again".
by AETEN II » Tue May 14, 2013 10:50 pm
Neo Arcad wrote:AETEN II wrote:
Ysgolor yelped as he was assaulted again by Astrid and would have had the snot beat out of him, if he had nostrils in the first place. The uppercut at the series of attacks was simply the finisher that sent Ysgolor stumping to the ground. Grumbling at being soaked by the Merc's attacks, Ysgolor anrgily swept his legs as to trip Astrid before pulling his water-proof sack from the stream running through the catacombs. Sighly happily as he found the seal remained intact and the contents were safe, Ysgolor then tackled Astrid and wrapped the four tentacles that sprouted from the front of his headd around Astrid's neck.
"MU͡S͠T̕ wę co̶ntinue?͏ Or wìll ҉you̸ ̶f̕orce m̛e t̀o ́en͟d ̀y͝o͜ur҉ li̸f҉e?̴ ́S͞ųr̶re͠nde̕r al̢l ̛d̷a͡m̢ned ready҉ ͝a̴ǹd̵ ͟le̶t ͢th̛i̶s ̛p̵a̢theti̵c s͢q̶ua͟bble͡ of y̡óurs be͏ ͢o̧ver!͢"MUST we continue? Or will you force me to end your life? Surrender all damned ready and let this pathetic squabble of yours be over!
Astrid was caught off guard by the wizard's leg sweep, and fell unceremoniously into the cold water of the catacombs. She tried to get up, but her hand slipped out from under her. When she attempted to stand once again, she found his tentacles at her throat. He choked lightly her enough that she could still speak, but hard enough to make her question her mortality, and whether or not the money was worth her life. It wasn't, of course. She grasped at the prehensile, slick limbs, trying to free herself, but she couldn't grip them well enough. Finally, she gave up. "I... surrender. Please..." she choked out.
"Quod Vult, Valde Valt"
Excuse me, sir. Seeing as how the V.P. is such a V.I.P., shouldn't we keep the P.C. on the Q.T.? 'Cause if it leaks to the V.C. he could end up M.I.A., and then we'd all be put out in K.P.
Nationstatelandsville wrote:"Why'd the chicken cross the street?"
"Because your dad's a whore."
"...He died a week ago."
"Of syphilis, I bet."
by Starkindler » Wed May 15, 2013 5:19 am
by Kaosu Enterprises » Wed May 15, 2013 6:24 am
Starkindler wrote:Due to the loud honking coming from the street, she looked at the road briefly finding that car from before followed her down the road. She also noticed that the driver of the car was staring at her, as did several locals and tourists on the street. She noticed them by blushing, and she started to think if the elf lady, dressed in a tan suit and a weird hat was a pervert. However, she then looked at her memories, finding out quickly that while she had been in Jerusalem for a week, she could only see a dozen centaurs around.
She then realized that her species are relatively uncommon here, and that elf probably had seen a centaur the first time in her life. However long that life had been - she thought - as she knew that some elven races do not age past maturity, and live forever if not killed by weapons. While looking there, she noted a lizard man, a bit taller than herself cross the street and get hit by the old car. And then... got himself transformed into a smaller humanoid with wings...
Se looked at the transformation in awe, as she didn't see a shapeshifter before. Of course, she had seen anime, manga, and live-action movies thereof, so she knew what they were, but largely dismissed them due to special effects. Even though there has been news of them, so their existence was known in the world. She then walked towards him, showing concern for him. Shapeshifter or not, he has been just hit by a car.
"Please excuse me, shapeshifter-san. Are you hurt?" - she looked at him, while pulling out an ear-bud from her ears, and searching for any sign of damage on him.
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