Doctor Who: The Enemy of My Enemy (IC|Closed)

[Astrolinium]

Just then, there came a knock on the door of the TARDIS, followed by a voice. It was not a British accent, but rather a fairly standard American one - perhaps the sort one might find in Pennsylvania or certain parts of Michigan.
"Hello? Eli, are you in this telephone box?"

Eli snapped out of looking at this strange place that was bigger on the inside at that and said, "Oh, my, that'll be Jon! I should..."
He looked at the Doctor, not exactly sure what to do about the sudden appearance of his lover outside the TARDIS.

[Nationstatelandsville]

Just then, there came a knock on the door of the TARDIS, followed by a voice. It was not a British accent, but rather a fairly standard American one - perhaps the sort one might find in Pennsylvania or certain parts of Michigan.
"Hello? Eli, are you in this telephone box?"

Eli snapped out of looking at this strange place that was bigger on the inside at that and said, "Oh, my, that'll be Jon! I should..."
He looked at the Doctor, not exactly sure what to do about the sudden appearance of his lover outside the TARDIS.

The Doctor nodded.

"You can let him in," he said, "but test him first. If he's the thing, try and find out. If he's not... well, we'll be fine. I have a habit of being... fine."

He frowned a bit and looked at the TARDIS monitor, examining the young man outside.

"I'm beginning to pity you, Eli," he remarked.

[Ende]

Sydney squinted at the TARDIS monitor which the Doctor was looking that, and then frowned.

"Are you sure about letting him in? I mean, look at him. Looks like he could be the monster or something."

She turned to Eli.

"Sorry, no offense meant, Eli, I'm sure he's a great guy and everything, but..."

Her voice trailed off. Eli didn't look too pleased, and Sydney turned to the Doctor.

"Yeah, let's just let him in now."

[Astrolinium]

Eli pursed his lips and said, "Well, I don't care what you think of his looks; he's..."
The man trailed off, searching his mind, and then continued, "Well, I don't care what you think, he's fantastic in bed."
It was not a sentence said with much conviction.

At any rate, Eli opened the door and Jon walked in. His eyes widened at the sight of the inside of the TARDIS.
Jon exclaimed, "This is like something out of Star Trek!"

[Nationstatelandsville]

Eli pursed his lips and said, "Well, I don't care what you think of his looks; he's..."
The man trailed off, searching his mind, and then continued, "Well, I don't care what you think, he's fantastic in bed."
It was not a sentence said with much conviction.

At any rate, Eli opened the door and Jon walked in. His eyes widened at the sight of the inside of the TARDIS.
Jon exclaimed, "This is like something out of Star Trek!"

"Star Trek!" the Doctor exclaimed, offended, "Star Trek, indeed! I assure you, that bloated coot has only been here once, and he very nearly got himself killed! Star Trek. Hmph!"

He spun around and began march up the stairs, before turning to his companions and addressing them.

"Mr. Khan, please come with me," he instructed, "I may have some use for you in my lab, and no, not like that. Sydney, be a dear and stay here with our American friends. They could use the company."

He then continued up the stairs and into the hall beyond the control room, entering a white room with a variety of machines and instruments, as well as what seemed to be a dismantled TARDIS control panel. The Doctor placed the vial inside of a vacuum tube, not unlike one you would find at a bank, and it was sucked inside the body of a large, blinking sci-fi computer.

"Now then," he said, "this should process the genetic make-up of our enemy and determine what it is."

[Ende]

Sydney looked at Eli and Jon, and then frowned.

"Wait, he's bringing Khan up there, and not me? I thought I was his companion. He called me that. I'm still not entirely sure what it means, but it's definitely not in a romantic sense. He's kind of crotchety and, really, he looked more annoyed then anything when I checked if he was a Cyberman, so..."

She paused.

"You guys have no idea about what I'm talking about, do you? Yeah, you don't. Look, I'm going to go up with the Doc. It's probably better, really. I don't trust him with Khan. You two just stay here and...eh, do something. I don't really care." she said, and then she sprinted after the Doctor.

It was rather hard and annoying to sprint, and Sydney thought to herself that whoever Victoria was, she had an absolutely terrible taste in clothing.

[Astrolinium]

Jon and Eli looked at one another as Sydney sprinted off.

Jon grabbed Eli's shoulders and looked him in the eye. Calmly, he said, "Baby, I have no goddamn clue what's going on."

Eli sighed and laughed. "Neither do I. Well, I've got vague ideas. This is something called a TARDIS. The old guy, he's a Doctor, and he's the President of the Doolicks. I think he's a Martian. Which, logically, means we're both incredibly high."

Jon frowned, letting his arms flop to his side. "Eli, you never do drugs."

Eli cocked his head to the side and said, "Well, I must have started, because there's no way I'm sober right now."

Jon grabbed Eli's hand and said, "I think it must be real. It all feels very real."

He wandered over to the control panel, leading Eli by the hand. He kissed his lover on the cheek and then looked at all the various gadgets. He put his free hand over one gently and wondered aloud, "I bet this does something very cool."

[Nationstatelandsville]

Sydney looked at Eli and Jon, and then frowned.

"Wait, he's bringing Khan up there, and not me? I thought I was his companion. He called me that. I'm still not entirely sure what it means, but it's definitely not in a romantic sense. He's kind of crotchety and, really, he looked more annoyed then anything when I checked if he was a Cyberman, so..."

She paused.

"You guys have no idea about what I'm talking about, do you? Yeah, you don't. Look, I'm going to go up with the Doc. It's probably better, really. I don't trust him with Khan. You two just stay here and...eh, do something. I don't really care." she said, and then she sprinted after the Doctor.

It was rather hard and annoying to sprint, and Sydney thought to herself that whoever Victoria was, she had an absolutely terrible taste in clothing.

"Ah, Sydney!" the Doctor exclaimed when Sydney arrived through the door (which he had accidentally left open, because plot), "There you are! I was wondering where you ran off to. You should be careful, you know, you can easily get lost in the TARDIS. It's bigger on the inside, after all. Much bigger."

He turned away from his companions and pressed a few buttons on the computer, which caused a great of whirring and churning in the inner workings of the machine, before a long roll of paper marked with black marks spilled out.

"...I should really upgrade my computing system," the Doctor admitted, tearing the marked paper off and scanning it intensely, "Mmm... yes. Good deal of humans in here. Some surprising ones. I thought Elvis had surely died by now, or gone home, at least. Unless its been here for that long."

He continued his diligent search, before eventually setting on another section of the paper that looked different from the rest, if only by a few marks.

"Ah!" he exclaimed, "Here we are! It's mammalian, it seems. Humanoid, actually. Isn't that convenient? Hermaphroditic species. Eurasian features. Tricardial system! Well, he wins that race. Or she. For the sake of simplicity, we'll call it by its species name. Now, what would that be..."

He tapped his chin thoughtfully and then figured it out, jumping upright when he did.

"Trantulian, of course!" he proclaimed, "Wait, no. That's rubbish. Absolutely rubbish. Let's just go with Sherri. Trantulia! Beautiful place, except for all the bombs. Rogue world. Rather fond of their wars. I'm sure you all are rather familiar with the scenario. He's likely a displaced civilian, but that hardly explains his violent behaviors towards us."

The Doctor blinked, coming back to his senses.

"Sydney," he said, "What are you doing here? Did you leave them alone in the control room?"

In the blink of an eye, the Doctor bolted down the hall, back towards the control room.

"STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!" he cried.

[Ende]

Sydney looked up at the Doctor.

"I'm here because I don't trust you being alone with Kr-"

And then he was gone. In the space of a few seconds, the man was gone. She looked after him, down the hall. He was yelling about something. Then, she realized that she had left Jon and Eli alone. In the control room. Of a spaceship. This probably wouldn't have that bad, but Jon and Eli were from the 21st century. They'd probably break something. And, knowing the Doctor, that would end badly. Very badly, in fact. Seconds later, she chased after the Doctor, trying to catch up.

Emphasis on "trying", because running in a dress is difficult, and the Doctor was actually surprisingly good at running, for an old man. He seemed much too old to be bolting down the hallway at that speed, but, from what she knew of the Doctor...he probably had experience with running.

So, she chased after him, sprinting down the hallway, heading directly towards the control room.

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Sydney looked up at the Doctor.

"I'm here because I don't trust you being alone with Kr-"

And then he was gone. In the space of a few seconds, the man was gone. She looked after him, down the hall. He was yelling about something. Then, she realized that she had left Jon and Eli alone. In the control room. Of a spaceship. This probably wouldn't have that bad, but Jon and Eli were from the 21st century. They'd probably break something. And, knowing the Doctor, that would end badly. Very badly, in fact. Seconds later, she chased after the Doctor, trying to catch up.

Emphasis on "trying", because running in a dress is difficult, and the Doctor was actually surprisingly good at running, for an old man. He seemed much too old to be bolting down the hallway at that speed, but, from what she knew of the Doctor...he probably had experience with running.

So, she chased after him, sprinting down the hallway, heading directly towards the control room.

The amused Khan ran after Sydney. "So, crazy shit's been going on, eh?" He asked, seeming decidedly more cheerful and cooperative than he had in the morning. Feelings of near mortal doom made him feel at home. "I quite enjoy this run, you know. A brisk trot helps out the muscles, I always say. Apologies for the morning, by the way. I was a bit frustrated and tired. I still wish to fuck your face, I just won't be as much of a dick about it, if you pardon the pun."

[Astrolinium]

Jon twisted the thingamajiggy. Yes, that was indeed the technical term for it.
Something deep within the TARDIS went "clunk" and the whole ship began to shake violently, throwing everyone to the floor. Eli shouted, "What the hell are you doing, Jon?", but he did so in vain.

The cloister bell began to toll in warning of impending disaster as the ship began to spin, the occupants flung like ragdolls as the thing repeatedly tried and failed to establish a coherent gravity. Clinging to the control panel, Jon managed to get his hands on a doohickey. There was a malicious grin on his face as he pulled the doohickey and twisted the thingamajiggy back.

The TARDIS's convulsions came to a sudden, gut-wrenching stop, accompanied by an awful sound - the splintering of wood and the crunch of metal being crumpled like tinfoil. The ship was upside down.

[Ende]

Sydney looked up at the Doctor.

"I'm here because I don't trust you being alone with Kr-"

And then he was gone. In the space of a few seconds, the man was gone. She looked after him, down the hall. He was yelling about something. Then, she realized that she had left Jon and Eli alone. In the control room. Of a spaceship. This probably wouldn't have that bad, but Jon and Eli were from the 21st century. They'd probably break something. And, knowing the Doctor, that would end badly. Very badly, in fact. Seconds later, she chased after the Doctor, trying to catch up.

Emphasis on "trying", because running in a dress is difficult, and the Doctor was actually surprisingly good at running, for an old man. He seemed much too old to be bolting down the hallway at that speed, but, from what she knew of the Doctor...he probably had experience with running.

So, she chased after him, sprinting down the hallway, heading directly towards the control room.

The amused Khan ran after Sydney. "So, crazy shit's been going on, eh?" He asked, seeming decidedly more cheerful and cooperative than he had in the morning. Feelings of near mortal doom made him feel at home. "I quite enjoy this run, you know. A brisk trot helps out the muscles, I always say. Apologies for the morning, by the way. I was a bit frustrated and tired. I still wish to fuck your face, I just won't be as much of a dick about it, if you pardon the pun."

She stopped running after the Doctor, and turned to face Khan, glaring furiously.

Unluckily, before she could reply (or yell insults at him, because she was going to do that), the entire spaceship started spinning, throwing her roughly against the wall.

For the second time in twenty four hours.

Needless to say, she wasn't pleased about that, but, of course, that was hard to reflect on, considering the fact that the spaceship was spinning.

After about two minutes and twenty three seconds (give or take a few), the shaking stop, and she found herself sprawled on the floor, a few feet away from Khan (who was also on the floor). Of course, she thought that laying down anywhere near Khan was probably a bad idea, so, about two seconds later, she was back on her feet. She was on the verge of resuming her sprint down the hallway, and then she paused, looking down at him.

"I'm sorry, Khan, but you're just not my type. And by "not my type", I mean "don't even think about it". I'm serious. Now, let's go do something productive, shall we?" she said, and then she resumed running down the hallway.

[Nationstatelandsville]

Jon twisted the thingamajiggy. Yes, that was indeed the technical term for it.
Something deep within the TARDIS went "clunk" and the whole ship began to shake violently, throwing everyone to the floor. Eli shouted, "What the hell are you doing, Jon?", but he did so in vain.

The cloister bell began to toll in warning of impending disaster as the ship began to spin, the occupants flung like ragdolls as the thing repeatedly tried and failed to establish a coherent gravity. Clinging to the control panel, Jon managed to get his hands on a doohickey. There was a malicious grin on his face as he pulled the doohickey and twisted the thingamajiggy back.

The TARDIS's convulsions came to a sudden, gut-wrenching stop, accompanied by an awful sound - the splintering of wood and the crunch of metal being crumpled like tinfoil. The ship was upside down.

The Doctor picked himself off of the ceiling of the TARDIS, glaring at Eli and Jon, both of whom had a tight grip on the TARDIS console.

"Almost got me," he said, brushing off his arm as a burst of regenerative energy patched up his wounds, "but I've got seven more hours left in my cycle. Now then, please step down from there and discuss these things like a rational sapient."

His glare softened into sympathy, focusing on Jon.

"You don't need to do this," he continued, "I understand, believe me, I do. I've run from home before, many times. It hurts, doesn't it? Abandoning everything you've ever loved? I can take you back. I can stop the war - I've done harder things. You don't need to do this."

[Astrolinium]

The thing about the TARDIS's console room is that it has rather high ceilings. So, even though Eli's hands were wrapped tightly around Jon's leg (and John's hands were holding onto the console itself for dear life), there was quite a bit of empty space between himself and the ceiling.

Suffice it to say he ignored the request to come down for the moment. Jon's eyes darted down to the Doctor. His pupils dilated and he didn't answer the man's question. Eli, in the meantime, shouted wildly, "What the hell are you talking about? Jon, what is he talking about? What war?"

[Nationstatelandsville]

The thing about the TARDIS's console room is that it has rather high ceilings. So, even though Eli's hands were wrapped tightly around Jon's leg (and John's hands were holding onto the console itself for dear life), there was quite a bit of empty space between himself and the ceiling.

Suffice it to say he ignored the request to come down for the moment. Jon's eyes darted down to the Doctor. His pupils dilated and he didn't answer the man's question. Eli, in the meantime, shouted wildly, "What the hell are you talking about? Jon, what is he talking about? What war?"

"By Gallifrey, you are daft!" the Doctor snapped, "He's the alien, Eli! Shapeshifting-beer-thing that tried to kill Khan!"

He gestured at Sydney and Khan, signaling for them to stay out of the control room. They wouldn't get out of a fall that large without a few broken bones.

"Just flip the switch you just hit," the Doctor instructed "Jon", "It doesn't have to go this way. The TARDIS can go anywhere in the universe, anywhen, but you need me to pilot it. We can go back to Trantulia - or anywhere you need. I'm not saying this for my benefit, I'm saying it for yours. Do not make an enemy out of a Time Lord."

[Astrolinium]

"No he's not!" shouted Eli. "He's the man I love! I think I'd know if I was involved with a Martian!"

Jon, meanwhile, shouted, "I don't know what the hell's going on here, and I don't know what you're talking about, but if you say this will turn this room right-side-up, I'll do it." He grabbed the switch and flipped it. With a very unsettling noise, the TARDIS flipped over with all the grace and poise of a beached whale. The ceiling, notably, was a bit lower than it used to be, because the top of the box had been more or less crushed.

[Nationstatelandsville]

"No he's not!" shouted Eli. "He's the man I love! I think I'd know if I was involved with a Martian!"

Jon, meanwhile, shouted, "I don't know what the hell's going on here, and I don't know what you're talking about, but if you say this will turn this room right-side-up, I'll do it." He grabbed the switch and flipped it. With a very unsettling noise, the TARDIS flipped over with all the grace and poise of a beached whale. The ceiling, notably, was a bit lower than it used to be, because the top of the box had been more or less crushed.

"He's not a Ma-" the Doctor began, before being thrown roughly back into the ground. He rose with a sour look on his face and regenerative energy circling around him.

"Stop doing that!" he demanded angrily, "He's not a Martian! He's a Trantulian, of Trantulia. Shapeshifters. Look, he might not have always been a Trantulian, the real one could just be replicating him. Or maybe he's not actually the Trantulian and is just an idiot, either way the one thing he is for sure is getting away from my console!"

He jabbed his finger at the door.

"Out," he ordered, "Get out before you regret this."

[Ende]

Then, Sydney grabbed a thingamajig and ripped it off the TARDIS console (the Doctor probably cringed, but she didn't notice), brandishing it at Jon.

"Out, or I'll shoot!" she shrieked, looking slightly nervous. She had no idea what a Trantulian was (though she had met some Martians before - surprisingly boring people, to be quite honest), but, whatever it was, it was dangerous. Of course, that was assuming that Jon was whatever it was...but, it didn't matter. Even if he wasn't a shape-shifting alien, he needed to get away from the panel, and she needed to help the Doctor with that. The Doctor was a crotchety old man - well, he was now. The previous one wasn't, but...well, she was still confused about that. Either way, the Doc wouldn't be able to do it himself, and Krishna wasn't going to help.

She took a step towards Jon, and swung the thingamajig for emphasis, but it was rather half-hearted. He looked pretty human, to be honest, and, if they were wrong, and he wasn't the Trantulian, he'd probably end up getting eaten by the real Trantulian.

But he really needed to get away from the console.

[Astrolinium]

The one thing neither party did was get away from the console. At first, anyway. Eli looked at Jon and said, "Jon, is this true? Are you really a Tarantulan?"

Jon gave the great sigh of a man who has just very nearly been called by the correct name but has been disappointed dearly. Before the eyes of everyone in the TARDIS, he transformed into a perfect copy of a blonde wearing a Union Jack. A specific one; he didn't just wake up with a craving.
"I am not," she said patiently, "a tarantula. Nor am I a Martian. I am a Trantulian, you twit. Furthermore, I am not your dear lover Jonathon Streyer. I am, I reiterate, a Trantulian. Lastly," she said, looking pointedly at Syndney, "put that thing down before you hurt yourself."

[Nationstatelandsville]

The one thing neither party did was get away from the console. At first, anyway. Eli looked at Jon and said, "Jon, is this true? Are you really a Tarantulan?"

Jon gave the great sigh of a man who has just very nearly been called by the correct name but has been disappointed dearly. Before the eyes of everyone in the TARDIS, he transformed into a perfect copy of a blonde wearing a Union Jack. A specific one; he didn't just wake up with a craving.
"I am not," she said patiently, "a tarantula. Nor am I a Martian. I am a Trantulian, you twit. Furthermore, I am not your dear lover Jonathon Streyer. I am, I reiterate, a Trantulian. Lastly," she said, looking pointedly at Syndney, "put that thing down before you hurt yourself."

"Good," the Doctor said, "This is progress. Now then, my dear Trantulian, may I ask you your name and your purpose on this planet?"

He approached the TARDIS console cautiously, inching forwards with the sonic screwdriver drawn and pointed at the alien, not for any other reason than instinct. He was fully prepared to point it at the console and cause some chaos in its inner workings - the TARDIS could regenerate.

"We're not enemies," he continued, "I'm just a man with a box. A box that can take you home. You can trust us. Well, you can trust me, at least. Don't talk to Khan."

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Khan raised his eyebrow, looking very nearly offended. "Why, Doctor, I am appalled you would ever suggest that I am nothing other than a kind, decent and helpful man." He said, putting a hand to his heart. "Why, my good fellow, I would never even consider offending another creature, sentient or otherwise. I have respected your sincerity and ask you to respect mine. In closing, and in the most unparliamentary language, I would like to say that I hope, in some small way, you will reflect upon the magnitude of the colossal foot in mouth clusterfuck you so brazenly unleashed on a man whose only crime was to be as equally sincere." He said, with a nod.

Then he clapped his hands together. "Now, I'm in that state where I may actually pay attention to people. Just what are you doing here, alien?" he gestured toward the shapeshifter. "Considering the hell it took for me to enter England, I'd say an immigrant like you would have had a worse time."

[Astrolinium]

Eli was sort of gawking at Sherri, mouth agape, not doing much.

Sherri looked really quite disappointed. She was vaguely psychic, you see (not unlike the psychic paper), and she'd rather hoped the form of this blonde who was so present in the minds of both the Doctor and the TARDIS would have some effect on him.

So she turned her hand into a gun and grabbed Eli around the neck, holding the gun to his head. She said to the Doctor quite coolly, "Don't you dare take me home."

[Nationstatelandsville]

Eli was sort of gawking at Sherri, mouth agape, not doing much.

Sherri looked really quite disappointed. She was vaguely psychic, you see (not unlike the psychic paper), and she'd rather hoped the form of this blonde who was so present in the minds of both the Doctor and the TARDIS would have some effect on him.

So she turned her hand into a gun and grabbed Eli around the neck, holding the gun to his head. She said to the Doctor quite coolly, "Don't you dare take me home."

"OK, OK!" the Doctor said, "No one ever said you had to go home. No one. You can stay on Earth, if you like. Assume a new identity and blend in. I just need to make sure you aren't a danger to the people of this world and that, for your own sake, you adhere to their laws. Now, put the man down and begin explaining, please."

He grimaced at the Trantulian. He'd not recognized her at first - Time Lords have long memories, disorganized webs of tragedy and things that never quite happened, but almost. To sort out a single face so long afterwards; it was difficult, almost impossible, and it filled him with shame. Such feelings had long since cooled, though that he regretted. He'd been happier then. He wished he could have held that within his hearts forever, but all things fade, and now that scary, wonderful emotion he could never quite name was but a shadow of a memory. And one should never trust shadows.

"We're all friends here," he added.

[Ende]

Eli was sort of gawking at Sherri, mouth agape, not doing much.

Sherri looked really quite disappointed. She was vaguely psychic, you see (not unlike the psychic paper), and she'd rather hoped the form of this blonde who was so present in the minds of both the Doctor and the TARDIS would have some effect on him.

So she turned her hand into a gun and grabbed Eli around the neck, holding the gun to his head. She said to the Doctor quite coolly, "Don't you dare take me home."

"OK, OK!" the Doctor said, "No one ever said you had to go home. No one. You can stay on Earth, if you like. Assume a new identity and blend in. I just need to make sure you aren't a danger to the people of this world and that, for your own sake, you adhere to their laws. Now, put the man down and begin explaining, please."

He grimaced at the Trantulian. He'd not recognized her at first - Time Lords have long memories, disorganized webs of tragedy and things that never quite happened, but almost. To sort out a single face so long afterwards; it was difficult, almost impossible, and it filled him with shame. Such feelings had long since cooled, though that he regretted. He'd been happier then. He wished he could have held that within his hearts forever, but all things fade, and now that scary, wonderful emotion he could never quite name was but a shadow of a memory. And one should never trust shadows.

"We're all friends here," he added.

Sydney looked at him, a cynical look in her eyes. "We're all friends here?" she thought. "Is he serious?"

She sighed.

"Doctor, it's a shapeshifting alien that threatened to kill Eli. I don't think it's a friend, assuming we're assuming the same use of the verb, and we're both speaking the same language...wait, how...I...I'll get to that later, but, Doctor, we're not all friends here. I mean, it's threatened to kill Eli, and you're calling it a friend? Look, you're a Apapulacian - an incredible two-hearted man that's got some of the best technology in all the universe - you can handle the situation. We can get through this without anybody being shot or killed. You should just eject it from your ship already. It even said that it wants to leave. Again, I'm sure we can get through this without shooting anyone, but let's not pretend that we're all friends. Let's just dump it back on earth. You'd be fine with that, right, Sherri?" she said, still aiming the thingamajig at Sherri throughout the entire sentence. Her hand twitched slightly - she wasn't used to aiming things at people. Well, technically, this wasn't a person...no, that was racist. It was a person, and aiming something at it made her feel incredibly uncomfortable. She gripped it tightly, and, then, suddenly, it made an awful noise, similar to a tenor saxophone, and she threw it to the ground in surprise, put her hands away from her, palms open.

"Look, I don't want to be shooting anyone. Let's just talk this out peacefully. Let's just get rid of the weapons, shall we? Please?" she said nervously, looking at the Doctor, hoping that he'd take control of the situation.

[Nationstatelandsville]

"OK, OK!" the Doctor said, "No one ever said you had to go home. No one. You can stay on Earth, if you like. Assume a new identity and blend in. I just need to make sure you aren't a danger to the people of this world and that, for your own sake, you adhere to their laws. Now, put the man down and begin explaining, please."

He grimaced at the Trantulian. He'd not recognized her at first - Time Lords have long memories, disorganized webs of tragedy and things that never quite happened, but almost. To sort out a single face so long afterwards; it was difficult, almost impossible, and it filled him with shame. Such feelings had long since cooled, though that he regretted. He'd been happier then. He wished he could have held that within his hearts forever, but all things fade, and now that scary, wonderful emotion he could never quite name was but a shadow of a memory. And one should never trust shadows.

"We're all friends here," he added.

Sydney looked at him, a cynical look in her eyes. "We're all friends here?" she thought. "Is he serious?"

She sighed.

"Doctor, it's a shapeshifting alien that threatened to kill Eli. I don't think it's a friend, assuming we're assuming the same use of the verb, and we're both speaking the same language...wait, how...I...I'll get to that later, but, Doctor, we're not all friends here. I mean, it's threatened to kill Eli, and you're calling it a friend? Look, you're a Apapulacian - an incredible two-hearted man that's got some of the best technology in all the universe - you can handle the situation. We can get through this without anybody being shot or killed. You should just eject it from your ship already. It even said that it wants to leave. Again, I'm sure we can get through this without shooting anyone, but let's not pretend that we're all friends. Let's just dump it back on earth. You'd be fine with that, right, Sherri?" she said, still aiming the thingamajig at Sherri throughout the entire sentence. Her hand twitched slightly - she wasn't used to aiming things at people. Well, technically, this wasn't a person...no, that was racist. It was a person, and aiming something at it made her feel incredibly uncomfortable. She gripped it tightly, and, then, suddenly, it made an awful noise, similar to a tenor saxophone, and she threw it to the ground in surprise, put her hands away from her, palms open.

"Look, I don't want to be shooting anyone. Let's just talk this out peacefully. Let's just get rid of the weapons, shall we? Please?" she said nervously, looking at the Doctor, hoping that he'd take control of the situation.

The Doctor gave Sydney the biggest "shut the fuck up before I rip your tongue out" face anyone has ever seen. He was not pleased with her at all.

"Well, Sydney," he replied, "let's get three things clear - to begin with, I am not an Apalapucian and I would appreciate very much that you not refer to me as such ever again. Secondly, 'it' is, as far I can tell, a 'he', or at least seems to prefer male forms. As such, I expect you to refer to him by his preferred gender pronoun. Be respectful, he is a human being - or, Trantulian being, at least. Thirdly and finally, 'Sherri' may be an alien to you, but he is much more than that. He is alive. If you can call him 'alien', he can say the some of you. Now, the moral of this, if we drop our harsh weapons - some verbal, some pointed at our fine Eli's head - everything becomes much more calm and understanding. On that platform, we might figure out what to do here.

Sydney, apologize. My good Trantulian, please release poor Eli."