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by Erinkita » Fri Aug 31, 2012 6:44 pm
by The Nuclear Fist » Fri Aug 31, 2012 7:00 pm
And you touch the distant beaches with tales of brave Ulysses. . .Farnhamia wrote:You're getting a little too fond of the jerkoff motions.
by Neo Arcad » Fri Aug 31, 2012 7:07 pm
Ameriganastan wrote:Neo Arcad wrote:Kate closed her eyes, and then snapped them open; when she did, time slowed down. The projectile tentacles, Wilhelm, everything in the room was moving slowly- around 2/3 normal speed. Drawing her sword, Kate easily sliced off the tentacle-mounted snapping jaws with minimal chi usage and effort. To anyone else, it would have been a blur of motion, with the appendages' mouths seeming to hang there unaffected for a moment before disconnecting along clean lines. At that point, Crowley broke up the fight. You know, by setting his hand on fire and punching Wilhelm or whatever it was he did. Kate sheathed the short blade, and addressed Crowley. "My apologies, Headmaster." she said. "I did not intend to make a mess." With that, she turned to Lazrian as if nothing had happened. "It was even easier than I'd thought. He didn't try to think at all, just blindly attacked. Like you on a bad day." she jested, recalling a self-defense class from a few days ago. "Of course, it was like you said. Hard to judge whether or not you've fought a worthy opponent when someone else intervenes."
"The Great and Mighty Lazrian doesn't have to think. When you think too much in battle, it just gives mighty ones like me more time to rend them asunder. I recall this fella in boot camp. Zerkinad. Thought himself a great strategic mind. Well, all his strategy did him diddly when I just smashed through his platoon, and disemboweled him with his own foot. Then made him eat the foot...what was I talking about again?"
Ostroeuropa wrote:Two shirtless men on a pushback with handlebar moustaches and a kettle conquered India, at 17:04 in the afternoon on a Tuesday. They rolled the bike up the hill and demanded that the natives set about acquiring bureaucratic records.
Des-Bal wrote:Modern politics is a series of assholes and liars trying to be more angry than each other until someone lets a racist epithet slip and they all scatter like roaches.
NSLV wrote:Introducing the new political text from acclaimed author/yak, NEO ARCAD, an exploration of nuclear power in the Middle East and Asia, "Nuclear Penis: He Won't Call You Again".
by Hardened Pyrokinetics » Fri Aug 31, 2012 7:16 pm
The Nuclear Fist wrote:Deciding against getting involved in the little spat between students, Nyarla decided her precious time would best be spent tormenting James. And so, her eyes still sparkling, golden crescents, her calm smile still plastered upon her face, she stood up and walked through the cafeteria doors. The sound of her heels clacking against the hard floors pierced the air as she wandered through the hallway, her appearance still pleasant and calm, arms crossed in front of her chest. After what seemed like hours, but was only about ten minutes, she found what she was looking for. The twin doors marked 'infirmary'. Ooh, I heard dear James had a bit of an accident. Best to check up on him. She thought, her mental voice dripping with malice and sinister intent. The Outer God pushed them open and gracefully strode in, moving at inhuman speeds, taking great care to avoid little more than the most quiet whisper of the wind parting as she loved through the labyrinthine room, which seemed more like an entire hospital than a single infirmary. After several minutes of searching, she found who she was looking for. James's hospital bed, which he seemed to be laying in.
The Doom Prophet sauntered over, dainty, elegant hands at her sides. Reaching him, she kissed the attendant on the cheek and shooed him away, giving her and James total privacy. Most likely, the attendant believed she was going to 'comfort' him in her own very special way. How wrong said attendant was. Bending over the hospital bed in the quietest manner possible for a god that had existed since the dawn of time, she placed her hands upon the bed's railing and hovered, like a spectre, above James. She inclined her head until her lips were only a few hairs' width from his ear, and spoke.
"Hello there, dear." Nyarlathotep said, her voice sweet, dripping with sinister intent. Her tone was one of faux concern over his rather poor condition, as in reality she was enjoying his pain.
Pope Joan wrote:I had a client who stole the magnetic flashing light from the top of a police car.
It was parked in front of his house because they were asking his parents about his theft of 100 pounds of copper wire from the high school.
Galloism wrote:I bet it takes a lot of weed to get stoned to death.
New Manvir wrote:Canada: We have flying bears.
greed and death wrote:It is a sad day when we criticize the President for honoring a solider who gave everything for his nation.
by Ameriganastan » Fri Aug 31, 2012 7:21 pm
Neo Arcad wrote:
"Thinking in battle." reminded Kate. "It takes precious time to plan out your attack. But I can think things through all I want, with my chronological alteration talents." she boasted. "Of course, not everyone can have my abilities." Kate paused for a moment. "I can show you what it's like, though, if you're interested in training against me. If I'm physically in contact with someone, I can speed them up as well." she offered, unable to resist a chance to show off her strength.
Edward Richtofen wrote:Ameri's so tough that he criticized an Insane Asylum and was promptly let out
Sinovet wrote:Ameri's like Honey badger. He don't give a fuck.
Krazakistan wrote: He is a force of negativity for the sake of negativity
Onocarcass wrote:Trying to change Ameri, is like trying to drag a 2 ton block of lead with your d**k.
Immoren wrote:When Ameri says something is shit it's good and when Ameri says some thing is good it's great. *nods*
by Metanih » Fri Aug 31, 2012 8:32 pm
by Olthar » Fri Aug 31, 2012 8:46 pm
by Hetland 2 » Fri Aug 31, 2012 9:37 pm
we will send a air stare on libya if they don't stop their attack
The krang countered the wave with something. And continued to try and take over the decepticon seeker.
Everybody! Can you stop saying that the cargo ship sinking we have done lately was a war crime. We were trying to economically destroy the UK.
Mair glows brightly and transforms in a human, wearing a white cloak, "leave us"
"FIRE IN THE HOE" he bellowed before triggering the explosive.
Julius Ceasar was a normal 14 year old who played Elder Tale in Russia.
We have already established, more powerful beings are not a proper weakness.
by Nightkill the Emperor » Fri Aug 31, 2012 9:43 pm
Nat: Night's always in some bizarre state somewhere between "intoxicated enough to kill a hair metal lead singer" and "annoying Mormon missionary sober".
Swith: It's because you're so awesome. God himself refreshes the screen before he types just to see if Nightkill has written anything while he was off somewhere else.
by Hardened Pyrokinetics » Fri Aug 31, 2012 9:58 pm
Pope Joan wrote:I had a client who stole the magnetic flashing light from the top of a police car.
It was parked in front of his house because they were asking his parents about his theft of 100 pounds of copper wire from the high school.
Galloism wrote:I bet it takes a lot of weed to get stoned to death.
New Manvir wrote:Canada: We have flying bears.
greed and death wrote:It is a sad day when we criticize the President for honoring a solider who gave everything for his nation.
by Hetland 2 » Fri Aug 31, 2012 10:10 pm
we will send a air stare on libya if they don't stop their attack
The krang countered the wave with something. And continued to try and take over the decepticon seeker.
Everybody! Can you stop saying that the cargo ship sinking we have done lately was a war crime. We were trying to economically destroy the UK.
Mair glows brightly and transforms in a human, wearing a white cloak, "leave us"
"FIRE IN THE HOE" he bellowed before triggering the explosive.
Julius Ceasar was a normal 14 year old who played Elder Tale in Russia.
We have already established, more powerful beings are not a proper weakness.
by Ameriganastan » Fri Aug 31, 2012 10:18 pm
Hetland 2 wrote:Maria never got the chance to ask Frida about the dreams and as a result had started to become more and more neurotic and skittish, completely demolishing all of the progress she and Laz had made, and they'd made quite a bit of progress.
Maria never really woke up that morning. For the past week she'd been suffering from a lighter form of insomnia, and had had to listen to Sari and Rayne's nightly romps, which seemed to becoming closer and closer to her vivid dreams. But through out all of this she'd never made a peep and suffered silently. Unbeknownst to Maria, her control over her touch was slipping, it'd eaten through her socks and shoes leaving her barefoot and extended contact with her hands left the walls cracked and brittle.
She walked down the hall, looking like a through and through mess.
Edward Richtofen wrote:Ameri's so tough that he criticized an Insane Asylum and was promptly let out
Sinovet wrote:Ameri's like Honey badger. He don't give a fuck.
Krazakistan wrote: He is a force of negativity for the sake of negativity
Onocarcass wrote:Trying to change Ameri, is like trying to drag a 2 ton block of lead with your d**k.
Immoren wrote:When Ameri says something is shit it's good and when Ameri says some thing is good it's great. *nods*
by Hetland 2 » Fri Aug 31, 2012 10:41 pm
Ameriganastan wrote:"Look, I don't care what they say. No more meatloaf in a can! That crap gave half the student body some new form of stomach worms!"
Laz trudged down the hall, yelling at someone on his cell phone. He barely even noticed Maria pass him by.
"Uh...Sinclair, I'll call you back. Damn kid, you look like you got beat with a stick or something. Must have been the depressing stick from the looks of it. And where the hell are your shoes?"
we will send a air stare on libya if they don't stop their attack
The krang countered the wave with something. And continued to try and take over the decepticon seeker.
Everybody! Can you stop saying that the cargo ship sinking we have done lately was a war crime. We were trying to economically destroy the UK.
Mair glows brightly and transforms in a human, wearing a white cloak, "leave us"
"FIRE IN THE HOE" he bellowed before triggering the explosive.
Julius Ceasar was a normal 14 year old who played Elder Tale in Russia.
We have already established, more powerful beings are not a proper weakness.
by Ameriganastan » Fri Aug 31, 2012 10:46 pm
Hetland 2 wrote:Ameriganastan wrote:"Look, I don't care what they say. No more meatloaf in a can! That crap gave half the student body some new form of stomach worms!"
Laz trudged down the hall, yelling at someone on his cell phone. He barely even noticed Maria pass him by.
"Uh...Sinclair, I'll call you back. Damn kid, you look like you got beat with a stick or something. Must have been the depressing stick from the looks of it. And where the hell are your shoes?"
Maria shook at the sound of his voice, looking away, avoiding eye contact like the plague.
"I-I'm fine, honest." It was pretty clear that she was lying. "I'm just a little tired that's all."
crick crack
Maria hadn't noticed that the floor itself had begun to crack under her power's effects.
Edward Richtofen wrote:Ameri's so tough that he criticized an Insane Asylum and was promptly let out
Sinovet wrote:Ameri's like Honey badger. He don't give a fuck.
Krazakistan wrote: He is a force of negativity for the sake of negativity
Onocarcass wrote:Trying to change Ameri, is like trying to drag a 2 ton block of lead with your d**k.
Immoren wrote:When Ameri says something is shit it's good and when Ameri says some thing is good it's great. *nods*
by Olthar » Fri Aug 31, 2012 10:46 pm
by Hetland 2 » Fri Aug 31, 2012 10:56 pm
Ameriganastan wrote:"Uh...kid. I'm not exactly sure, but I don't think being tired puts cracks in the wall...and the floor."
He stuffed his cellphone in his pocket, checked to see if anyone was around to see him act nice, and patted her on the back.
"Come on kid, it's Sensei-Laz here! If somethings bugging you, just point me in its direction, and I'll beat it up for you. Is it Lewis? Cause I'm more than willing to try and sodomize him with his banjo if he's giving you trouble."
we will send a air stare on libya if they don't stop their attack
The krang countered the wave with something. And continued to try and take over the decepticon seeker.
Everybody! Can you stop saying that the cargo ship sinking we have done lately was a war crime. We were trying to economically destroy the UK.
Mair glows brightly and transforms in a human, wearing a white cloak, "leave us"
"FIRE IN THE HOE" he bellowed before triggering the explosive.
Julius Ceasar was a normal 14 year old who played Elder Tale in Russia.
We have already established, more powerful beings are not a proper weakness.
by Ameriganastan » Fri Aug 31, 2012 11:02 pm
Hetland 2 wrote:Ameriganastan wrote:"Uh...kid. I'm not exactly sure, but I don't think being tired puts cracks in the wall...and the floor."
He stuffed his cellphone in his pocket, checked to see if anyone was around to see him act nice, and patted her on the back.
"Come on kid, it's Sensei-Laz here! If somethings bugging you, just point me in its direction, and I'll beat it up for you. Is it Lewis? Cause I'm more than willing to try and sodomize him with his banjo if he's giving you trouble."
Maria looked horrified at the concept of Laz harming a teacher and grabbed his arm, her eyes tearing up.
"NO! It isn't Mr. Lewis! I swear! Its me! I'm..." she let out a sob not looking back up, "I'm the problem. I'm disgusting and a freak. I'm having these dreams... and I don't understand them at all... I'm confused and scared..."
Edward Richtofen wrote:Ameri's so tough that he criticized an Insane Asylum and was promptly let out
Sinovet wrote:Ameri's like Honey badger. He don't give a fuck.
Krazakistan wrote: He is a force of negativity for the sake of negativity
Onocarcass wrote:Trying to change Ameri, is like trying to drag a 2 ton block of lead with your d**k.
Immoren wrote:When Ameri says something is shit it's good and when Ameri says some thing is good it's great. *nods*
by Erinkita » Fri Aug 31, 2012 11:19 pm
by Hetland 2 » Sat Sep 01, 2012 12:53 am
Ameriganastan wrote:Dreams huh? Well, The Great and Mighty Lazrian is amazing at everything else, maybe I'm equally amazing at analyzing the dreams of a sobbing teenage girl!"
As was obvious, an almost six century old, male demon was not the ideal candidate for dream analysis. But that wasn't gonna stop him from giving it the old college try. He basically shoved Maria into the nearest empty room, and shut the door behind them.
"Alright sobby, spill the contents of these dreams. And I shall analyze them with my soon to be discovered amazing powers of perception!"
we will send a air stare on libya if they don't stop their attack
The krang countered the wave with something. And continued to try and take over the decepticon seeker.
Everybody! Can you stop saying that the cargo ship sinking we have done lately was a war crime. We were trying to economically destroy the UK.
Mair glows brightly and transforms in a human, wearing a white cloak, "leave us"
"FIRE IN THE HOE" he bellowed before triggering the explosive.
Julius Ceasar was a normal 14 year old who played Elder Tale in Russia.
We have already established, more powerful beings are not a proper weakness.
by Ameriganastan » Sat Sep 01, 2012 12:59 am
Hetland 2 wrote:Ameriganastan wrote:Dreams huh? Well, The Great and Mighty Lazrian is amazing at everything else, maybe I'm equally amazing at analyzing the dreams of a sobbing teenage girl!"
As was obvious, an almost six century old, male demon was not the ideal candidate for dream analysis. But that wasn't gonna stop him from giving it the old college try. He basically shoved Maria into the nearest empty room, and shut the door behind them.
"Alright sobby, spill the contents of these dreams. And I shall analyze them with my soon to be discovered amazing powers of perception!"
Maria could only stutter and sob helplessly for a few minutes, before managing to burble out her recent dreams, which to Maria seemed scary, painful and involved Frida screaming a lot, which frightened the skittish Maria. Fortunately as Maria went on describing the scene it became more and more obvious that it was not scary or painful and that it was simply erotic, which was something little Maria had literally no experience in save for sunday school teachings. This of course did not stop Maria for bawling her eyes out.
Edward Richtofen wrote:Ameri's so tough that he criticized an Insane Asylum and was promptly let out
Sinovet wrote:Ameri's like Honey badger. He don't give a fuck.
Krazakistan wrote: He is a force of negativity for the sake of negativity
Onocarcass wrote:Trying to change Ameri, is like trying to drag a 2 ton block of lead with your d**k.
Immoren wrote:When Ameri says something is shit it's good and when Ameri says some thing is good it's great. *nods*
by Seshephe » Sat Sep 01, 2012 5:20 am
by Constaniana » Sat Sep 01, 2012 6:38 am
Ameriganastan wrote:I work hard to think of those ludicrous Eric adventure stories, but I don't think I'd have come up with rescuing a three armed alchemist from goblin-monkeys in a million years.
Kudos.
by Hetland 2 » Sat Sep 01, 2012 8:20 am
Ameriganastan wrote:Don't laugh Lazrian. Don't laugh. Don't...
It was a losing effort. Laz actually fell to his knees, laughing his demonic ass off. He laughed for a straight 15 seconds, before finally standing back up, wiping tears out of his eyes. He walked over, and threw an arm around her.
"Damn kid, you are repressed, aren't you? Even a moron like me knows what that means. Stuck in a room with two chicks constantly doing the horizontal monster mash, and having a dream like that? It's simple. It means you wanna put the spurs to Frida! Play a solo on the clam flute, find the little man in the rowboat...if it's not obvious, I'm saying you wanna have sex with her. To put it simply, you might be G-A-Y."
we will send a air stare on libya if they don't stop their attack
The krang countered the wave with something. And continued to try and take over the decepticon seeker.
Everybody! Can you stop saying that the cargo ship sinking we have done lately was a war crime. We were trying to economically destroy the UK.
Mair glows brightly and transforms in a human, wearing a white cloak, "leave us"
"FIRE IN THE HOE" he bellowed before triggering the explosive.
Julius Ceasar was a normal 14 year old who played Elder Tale in Russia.
We have already established, more powerful beings are not a proper weakness.
by The Inritus Extraho » Sat Sep 01, 2012 10:17 am
by Metanih » Sat Sep 01, 2012 11:28 am
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