Elfen High 2: Welcome and Welcome Back

[Cthulhutu]

Ivy nervously raised her hand. Of course, she didn't wait for Lewis to call on her, because that just wasn't her style.

"H-hey, Mr. Hobo, I mean, Lewis, are you a certified teacher? I don't think you know very much math. Do you? I mean, how did you get here? I don't think any of those methods are actually correct, and that statement about the black guy was a bit racist. Er, and please, could you not set me on fire? Or freeze me? I'd appreciate that. Please don't fail me, I'm just asking questions. You're a very handsome man. Do you think that maybe you could ask to teach a different class? I imagine you'd be a great...er...geometry teacher! Your banjo playing is great, by the way. Maybe you should teach music!" she burst out, speaking quite rapidly.

Internally, she doubted that Mr. Hobo Theodore Roosevelt would even understand most of that.

[Ameriganastan]

"HA! You think these meager flames hurt one such as I? I'm from Hell, bitch. You wanna see fire, I'll show you fire!"

Laz turned to the nearest wall he hadn't smashed in yet, and took a deep inhale, releasing a really long lasting torrent of fire...all to carve "Laz Ruls" in the wall.

"That's fire, little man. Didn't have to go full size for that one."

"And this is ice," Lewis said, glaring at Laz's nether-regions and causing his pants to frost over, amongst other parts of Laz's crotch. Unfortunately, that meant discreetly staring at Laz's unsavories, which was certainly not pleasant for anyone.

"Now then, Lazrian," he began, standing up and grabbing the cane that rested on the side of his desk, "I expect you to apply yourself in my mathematics class. That means your brain, no matter how meager it is, and not your fire breath. If you would just sit down, you might avoid the unpleasant experience of having my cane shoved so far up your ass that you choke to death."

Cold. That was a foreign concept to Laz. And he didn't like it. Though, he wouldn't let anyone else know that.

"...Uh...fine. I grow bored of your weak displays of...weak power...stuff. I shall apply my mighty mind to this miserable class, if only to amuse myself at how little there is to learn...can you uncold me now?"

[Nightkill the Emperor]

After leaving the Math room, James realized he was really, really hungry. Probably something to do with missing breakfast. To rectify this, he trudged off in search of a vending machine.

He finally found one ten minutes later. Out of order. "SON OF A BITCH!" He yelled, kicking the machine. "PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT!" He kicked it again, this time breaking the glass. "Uh... Whoops." He withdrew his foot and looked around frantically, hoping nobody saw that. He sighed, the adrenaline already wearing off and sleepiness flooding his mind. "Fuck this school..."

Reaching in and grabbing two Twix and a Kit-Kat, James headed off in search of a quiet, comfortable place to sleep. What he got instead was Crowley's office, which he walked into without realizing.

Crowley sighed while the gay porn of two future NSers played in the background. "Don't eat that candy. Trust me. You'll regret it a lot." he said wearily. "Now, Mr. Callahan, why are you here? Is Lewis being a fucktard?"

[Nationstatelandsville]

Ivy nervously raised her hand. Of course, she didn't wait for Lewis to call on her, because that just wasn't her style.

"H-hey, Mr. Hobo, I mean, Lewis, are you a certified teacher? I don't think you know very much math. Do you? I mean, how did you get here? I don't think any of those methods are actually correct, and that statement about the black guy was a bit racist. Er, and please, could you not set me on fire? Or freeze me? I'd appreciate that. Please don't fail me, I'm just asking questions. You're a very handsome man. Do you think that maybe you could ask to teach a different class? I imagine you'd be a great...er...geometry teacher! Your banjo playing is great, by the way. Maybe you should teach music!" she burst out, speaking quite rapidly.

Internally, she doubted that Mr. Hobo Theodore Roosevelt would even understand most of that.

"No," Lewis said simply, "Just God no. Fuck. Shut the fuck up! Fuck you so much, Crowley! Where the fucking hell does he dig you little bastards up?! Just shut up, you gibbering shit! Goddamn it, don't you ever open your fucking mouth! My ears are bleeding! You are a gatling gun of stupid! You don't ask me any questions ever again without getting one of your little whore friends to translate, you understand?!"

Lewis pointed an accusatory finger at Ivy and sat down, turning his attention to Laz.

"No," he replied, "Sit down before I introduce you to absolute zero."

[Ameriganastan]

"Asshole."

Laz reluctantly plopped down in his seat, still trying to get feeling back in his frozen lower regions.

"Wait...I can breathe fire! All I have to do to fix this is..."

As he prepared to thaw himself, the rarest of things happened. Lazrian thought before he acted.

Wait...fire...balls...that would probably hurt...bad.

He quickly swallowed the fireball he had prepared, hacking up a bunch of smoke after he did.

[Cthulhutu]

Ivy nervously raised her hand. Of course, she didn't wait for Lewis to call on her, because that just wasn't her style.

"H-hey, Mr. Hobo, I mean, Lewis, are you a certified teacher? I don't think you know very much math. Do you? I mean, how did you get here? I don't think any of those methods are actually correct, and that statement about the black guy was a bit racist. Er, and please, could you not set me on fire? Or freeze me? I'd appreciate that. Please don't fail me, I'm just asking questions. You're a very handsome man. Do you think that maybe you could ask to teach a different class? I imagine you'd be a great...er...geometry teacher! Your banjo playing is great, by the way. Maybe you should teach music!" she burst out, speaking quite rapidly.

Internally, she doubted that Mr. Hobo Theodore Roosevelt would even understand most of that.

"No," Lewis said simply, "Just God no. Fuck. Shut the fuck up! Fuck you so much, Crowley! Where the fucking hell does he dig you little bastards up?! Just shut up, you gibbering shit! Goddamn it, don't you ever open your fucking mouth! My ears are bleeding! You are a gatling gun of stupid! You don't ask me any questions ever again without getting one of your little whore friends to translate, you understand?!"

Lewis pointed an accusatory finger at Ivy and sat down, turning his attention to Laz.

"No," he replied, "Sit down before I introduce you to absolute zero."

Ivy turned red in the face, glared daggers at Lewis, and shrunk down in the desk. After a few seconds, she turned to Laz, and leaned over towards him.

"I think that you should kill the bastard. You're an eleven feet tall demon and can breath fire. He's an ugly hobo. I bet you could just fry him. Plus, you've got a lackey. Just beat him up. Crowley won't punish you. You're too intelligent for that. And you're handsome. Very handsome. And strong. You can totally do it." she quickly whispered.

Almost all of that was complete rubbish, but she was furious. Personally, she wanted to rip the ingrate's head off. He was stupid, ugly, and worst of all, teaching her favorite subject. She couldn't even tell why he was a teacher.

"I hope he dies some time soon." she thought.

[Rupudska]

The door to Lewis' room suddenly flew open. Standing in the doorway was Yuzuki, dressed in a USMC Drill Instructor uniform, complete with hat.

"ALL RIGHT, YOU STUPID HOBO, MATH CLASS IS OVER. EVERYONE TO MY CLASSROOM, ON THE DOUBLE! ANYONE WHO'S LATE GETS A DETENTION, AND NOT THE GOOD KIND!" She certainly had the drill instructor part down. She was practically spitting fire at the class as she shouted.

[The Inritus Extraho]

The door to Lewis' room suddenly flew open. Standing in the doorway was Yuzuki, dressed in a USMC Drill Instructor uniform, complete with hat.

"ALL RIGHT, YOU STUPID HOBO, MATH CLASS IS OVER. EVERYONE TO MY CLASSROOM, ON THE DOUBLE! ANYONE WHO'S LATE GETS A DETENTION, AND NOT THE GOOD KIND!" She certainly had the drill instructor part down. She was practically spitting fire at the class as she shouted.

Jade started awake, and stared up at the woman, instantly recognizing her as the lady she bumped into during the opening feast. "I..." she mumbled, and then stopped quickly, standing up and shifting from foot to foot slowly. I had better hope she doesn't remember me... she thought, or just doesn't care. Time to go, I think... She stepped cautiously towards Yuzuki, hand subconsciously dropping to her sword hilt once more, as was normal for stressful situations.

[Vareiln]

The door to Lewis' room suddenly flew open. Standing in the doorway was Yuzuki, dressed in a USMC Drill Instructor uniform, complete with hat.

"ALL RIGHT, YOU STUPID HOBO, MATH CLASS IS OVER. EVERYONE TO MY CLASSROOM, ON THE DOUBLE! ANYONE WHO'S LATE GETS A DETENTION, AND NOT THE GOOD KIND!" She certainly had the drill instructor part down. She was practically spitting fire at the class as she shouted.

Fel was walking back to the class when he saw the teacher with those raccoon ears, wearing a... USMC uniform?!
Why must I be in such a fucked up school?
He heard her yell to the class and waited outside for her to finish.
He'd follow her to her class when she was done yelling.

[Metanih]

(Bleehhhhh)

"Yeah... um.. your shirt." Rayne said. "I wish I could change my clothing with my magic, but sadly it isn't working out." Rayne stuttered a bit, caught off guard, but a little glad (and perhaps a little disappointed) that Sari-chan had not noticed what she was staring at.

Then the new teacher came in. Rayne smiled. ITS THE ONE WITH THE TAIL!!! Her mind said, excitedly. So many wondrous tails in the world, especially in Elfen High. It was great, and Rayne even got to sleep with the cutest one of them! (Not that way, but you should know that.) Rayne stood up, glad to be out of hobo-sex-math-teacher's class. "Umm... let's go Sari-chan. We can talk about shirts in the next class."

[Hardened Pyrokinetics]

After leaving the Math room, James realized he was really, really hungry. Probably something to do with missing breakfast. To rectify this, he trudged off in search of a vending machine.

He finally found one ten minutes later. Out of order. "SON OF A BITCH!" He yelled, kicking the machine. "PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT!" He kicked it again, this time breaking the glass. "Uh... Whoops." He withdrew his foot and looked around frantically, hoping nobody saw that. He sighed, the adrenaline already wearing off and sleepiness flooding his mind. "Fuck this school..."

Reaching in and grabbing two Twix and a Kit-Kat, James headed off in search of a quiet, comfortable place to sleep. What he got instead was Crowley's office, which he walked into without realizing.

Crowley sighed while the gay porn of two future NSers played in the background. "Don't eat that candy. Trust me. You'll regret it a lot." he said wearily. "Now, Mr. Callahan, why are you here? Is Lewis being a fucktard?"

"Huh? Wha?" James said breathlessly, blinking a few times to clear his vision and try and see who is talking to him. Even then, the realization took time to creep into his sleep-deprived brain. "Oh, hi, Mr. Crowley." He muttered, unwrapping one of the Twix and taking a bite out of it. "No idea why I'm here, or how, just can't focus today..." He stumbled over to a chair and flopped into it. "Didn't get any sleep last night thanks to Lewis."

[Nationstatelandsville]

The door to Lewis' room suddenly flew open. Standing in the doorway was Yuzuki, dressed in a USMC Drill Instructor uniform, complete with hat.

"ALL RIGHT, YOU STUPID HOBO, MATH CLASS IS OVER. EVERYONE TO MY CLASSROOM, ON THE DOUBLE! ANYONE WHO'S LATE GETS A DETENTION, AND NOT THE GOOD KIND!" She certainly had the drill instructor part down. She was practically spitting fire at the class as she shouted.

"Thank you, Yuzuki," Lewis sighed, burying his head in his arms, "You're the best. I owe you big time for this. That one who I lit on fire is fucking unbearable and the chatty one... just, fuck. I hate her."

Lewis failed to realize that all of the people he had just insulted were still in the room with him and Yuzuki, nor, for the matter, did he particularly care. They could all go fuck themselves, he didn't care what they thought about him. Caring about other people just wasn't in his genes. Being raised in a forest full of things trying to murder you didn't exactly make one care about their image, either.

"Oh, and I sent a whole bunch of 'em to Crowley's," he added, "Little shits."

[Ameriganastan]

Ivy turned red in the face, glared daggers at Lewis, and shrunk down in the desk. After a few seconds, she turned to Laz, and leaned over towards him.

"I think that you should kill the bastard. You're an eleven feet tall demon and can breath fire. He's an ugly hobo. I bet you could just fry him. Plus, you've got a lackey. Just beat him up. Crowley won't punish you. You're too intelligent for that. And you're handsome. Very handsome. And strong. You can totally do it." she quickly whispered.

Almost all of that was complete rubbish, but she was furious. Personally, she wanted to rip the ingrate's head off. He was stupid, ugly, and worst of all, teaching her favorite subject. She couldn't even tell why he was a teacher.

"I hope he dies some time soon." she thought.

Laz actually blushed at all the compliments.

"Well, thank you. I probably should tear him into little pieces. But if he can freeze my balls, imagine what else he could freeze. I need all my body parts unfrozen..."

The door to Lewis' room suddenly flew open. Standing in the doorway was Yuzuki, dressed in a USMC Drill Instructor uniform, complete with hat.

"ALL RIGHT, YOU STUPID HOBO, MATH CLASS IS OVER. EVERYONE TO MY CLASSROOM, ON THE DOUBLE! ANYONE WHO'S LATE GETS A DETENTION, AND NOT THE GOOD KIND!" She certainly had the drill instructor part down. She was practically spitting fire at the class as she shouted.

Military training. Whether human or demon, it was ingrained in your brain. At the sound of someone yelling orders, Laz shot up and saluted.

"Mam, yes mam!"

He sprung from his seat, and headed very quickly to the next class.

[Olthar]

Sari-chan nodded at Rayne's suggestion to leave. She was also happy to be gone from this class. Not only did she not like math, but she was sure that the teacher wasn't even teaching it correctly. Plus, she didn't like all the cussing and insults. However, she dared not confront him about it, noticing what happened to those who did. Standing up, Sari-chan made sure Rayne was following her before skipping off towards the well-endowed teacher. Sari-chan wasn't sure what she taught, but that class had to be more fun than this one.

[Amon and Friends]

Pierre wiped his forehead.

He had managed to make it through math class without bothering the crazy hobo, which, frankly, was a remarkable accomplishment. The chatty girl...couldn't quite remember her name...yeah, she wasn't that bright. Sometimes being shy and staying quiet had advantages. Now she'd have to deal with Lewis for the rest of the year. Laz...well, he was Laz. The resulting crotch-freezing had to be expected, but, frankly, that had to hurt.

He stood up, pushed his chair back, and jokingly saluted Yuzuki. Then, he marched on to the next class.

Hopefully, he wouldn't have very many more classes with the murder-hobo.

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Crowley sighed while the gay porn of two future NSers played in the background. "Don't eat that candy. Trust me. You'll regret it a lot." he said wearily. "Now, Mr. Callahan, why are you here? Is Lewis being a fucktard?"

"Huh? Wha?" James said breathlessly, blinking a few times to clear his vision and try and see who is talking to him. Even then, the realization took time to creep into his sleep-deprived brain. "Oh, hi, Mr. Crowley." He muttered, unwrapping one of the Twix and taking a bite out of it. "No idea why I'm here, or how, just can't focus today..." He stumbled over to a chair and flopped into it. "Didn't get any sleep last night thanks to Lewis."

"...You ate the candy bar." Crowley sighed. "You know just how much cocaine is in that? I need to change that but...ah well. At least you'll get your energy boost." he said, turning around. "And then some." he muttered with an eye roll.

"In any case, you should be in Yuzuki's class. You'll probably burn a Twilight book or something. Or continue wandering the school, though in your current state it would be a bad idea."

[Frigola]

Izera glanced at Lewis, then at the teacher in the marine uniform and back at Lewis. She would take her chances with the newcomer. In the hallway, she caught sight of Izanagi.
"Hey, wait up." She said. "Hi again." she added, catching up to him.
She waited until they were sure to be out of earshot before telling Izanagi how awful Lewis was
"Just a horrid, horrid man. You headed to Yuzuki's class too?"

[Rupudska]

Yuzuki smiled a big, crocodile grin at the students. It was a mirthless grin, the grin of a rapist, the grin of a criminal who just discovered a man with $100 bills pouring out from his pockets. "Very well then. Follow me to the Literature classroom." She picked up an M4 Carbine that just happened to be laying next to the door and headed for her room.

Yuzuki's classroom was sparsely decorated. There was a desk with her own personal laptop on it, some papers, and in the back, a small library. If you were to look closely, you'd see there was a button on the side of the whiteboard nearest her desk, labelled [YUZUKI'S PRIVATE BOOK STASH, DO NOT OPEN]. And woe betide the person who tried to open it without her permission. On the wall away from the door, there were windows and cabinets beneath them. Above the windows were posters relating to various plays. On the wall with the door, there were more cabinets, and posters relating to various books and novels. All the book posters had to do with war. It seemed to be a theme in the room.

Yuzuki entered the room and motioned for the students to sit down. Once they were seated, she strode to the center of the room.

"I am Yuzuki Kurayami, your English Literature teacher. From now on, unless I give your express permission, you will speak only when spoken to, and the first - and last - words out of your 'YOLO'-spewing sewers will be Ma'am. Do you cell-phone addicted maggots understand that?"

[The Inritus Extraho]

Yuzuki smiled a big, crocodile grin at the students. It was a mirthless grin, the grin of a rapist, the grin of a criminal who just discovered a man with $100 bills pouring out from his pockets. "Very well then. Follow me to the Literature classroom." She picked up an M4 Carbine that just happened to be laying next to the door and headed for her room.

Yuzuki's classroom was sparsely decorated. There was a desk with her own personal laptop on it, some papers, and in the back, a small library. If you were to look closely, you'd see there was a button on the side of the whiteboard nearest her desk, labelled [YUZUKI'S PRIVATE BOOK STASH, DO NOT OPEN]. And woe betide the person who tried to open it without her permission. On the wall away from the door, there were windows and cabinets beneath them. Above the windows were posters relating to various plays. On the wall with the door, there were more cabinets, and posters relating to various books and novels. All the book posters had to do with war. It seemed to be a theme in the room.

Yuzuki entered the room and motioned for the students to sit down. Once they were seated, she strode to the center of the room.

"I am Yuzuki Kurayami, your English Literature teacher. From now on, unless I give your express permission, you will speak only when spoken to, and the first - and last - words out of your 'YOLO'-spewing sewers will be Ma'am. Do you cell-phone addicted maggots understand that?"

Jade nodded, and sat down in one of the chairs to the back of the room, pulling out her sword and standing it up next to the desk, leaving a deep gouge where the tip stabbed down into the floor, keeping it stable. She smiled up at the teacher, and then inquisitively stared at the button by the whiteboard, wondering what kind of books this teacher had. Speaking of the teacher - Jade gave her another glance, observing her silently, and noted a pair of... some kind of animal... something's ears. So she wasn't human, either.

[Hardened Pyrokinetics]

"Huh? Wha?" James said breathlessly, blinking a few times to clear his vision and try and see who is talking to him. Even then, the realization took time to creep into his sleep-deprived brain. "Oh, hi, Mr. Crowley." He muttered, unwrapping one of the Twix and taking a bite out of it. "No idea why I'm here, or how, just can't focus today..." He stumbled over to a chair and flopped into it. "Didn't get any sleep last night thanks to Lewis."

"...You ate the candy bar." Crowley sighed. "You know just how much cocaine is in that? I need to change that but...ah well. At least you'll get your energy boost." he said, turning around. "And then some." he muttered with an eye roll.

"In any case, you should be in Yuzuki's class. You'll probably burn a Twilight book or something. Or continue wandering the school, though in your current state it would be a bad idea."

James dropped the candy bars. "I ate what!?" He asked, spitting out the last crumbs of what he had already eaten. "What the fuck is wrong with this school!? How did you get cocaine in the motherfucking chocolate bars!?" He shot up, only to then topple over and faceplant. Not because of the cocaine, which wasn't taking effect just yet, but because he is still quite tired. "Owie..."

[Mavorpen]

Izanagi smiled as Izera ran up. He then glanced at Yuzuki who just exited the class, followed by all of the students. "Yeah, I suppose so. But first I have to drop off Eddie here at Crowley's. I still don't know why, I was doing my work. He could have picked someone who wasn't doing anything." He sighed and continued, "But it's no problem if you want to tag along."

[Amon and Friends]

Pierre rolled his eyes at Yuzuki. That was it. Of all the teachers he had met today, she was the worst.

"Why the fuck can't any of you guys be normal?" he spat at Yuzuki. "The only decent class I've had all day was Minh's biology class. Then the next one was cut off, and then we had to deal with the crazy murder-hobo back there. And now we're at military boot camp. This would be one thing if you were a gym teacher, or a librarian, but you're a fucking literature teacher. Seriously, can't any of you guys be normal?"

About a second later, he realized that he might have just made one hell of a mistake, but it was a bit late for that.

[Rupudska]

Pierre rolled his eyes at Yuzuki. That was it. Of all the teachers he had met today, she was the worst.

"Why the fuck can't any of you guys be normal?" he spat at Yuzuki. "The only decent class I've had all day was Minh's biology class. Then the next one was cut off, and then we had to deal with the crazy murder-hobo back there. And now we're at military boot camp. This would be one thing if you were a gym teacher, or a librarian, but you're a fucking literature teacher. Seriously, can't any of you guys be normal?"

About a second later, he realized that he might have just made one hell of a mistake, but it was a bit late for that.

Yuzuki had her back turned to the wall, so she didn't see Pierre say it. But when she turned around, she looked like she was about to burst a vein. She prowled through the aisles like an enraged animal. Which she was close to becoming. "Who said that?! Who the fuck said that?! Who's the slimy little Communist shit who just signed his own death warrant?" She looked around. "Nobody, huh? The killer fucking rabbits said it, huh? OUT. FUCKING. STANDING." She smiled her crocodile smile again. "Everyone, take out every book, novel, magazine and pamphlet in your backpack. We're about to have ourselves a little book burning."

[The Inritus Extraho]

Yuzuki had her back turned to the wall, so she didn't see Pierre say it. But when she turned around, she looked like she was about to burst a vein. She prowled through the aisles like an enraged animal. Which she was close to becoming. "Who said that?! Who the fuck said that?! Who's the slimy little Communist shit who just signed his own death warrant?" She looked around. "Nobody, huh? The killer fucking rabbits said it, huh? OUT. FUCKING. STANDING." She smiled her crocodile smile again. "Everyone, take out every book, novel, magazine and pamphlet in your backpack. We're about to have ourselves a little book burning."

Jade frowned, and slumped against the wall next to her desk. Since she didn't carry any books - hell, she wasn't even carrying a backpack - she didn't really care. Yuzuki could burn however many books for all she cared, information deserved to be on the internet anyhow. Before she nodded off again, though, she picked up the sword and slammed it down again, burying it another inch into the floor, and ensuring it wouldn't fall over while she slept. "Better." she murmured, then leant back against the wall.

[Nightkill the Emperor]

"...You ate the candy bar." Crowley sighed. "You know just how much cocaine is in that? I need to change that but...ah well. At least you'll get your energy boost." he said, turning around. "And then some." he muttered with an eye roll.

"In any case, you should be in Yuzuki's class. You'll probably burn a Twilight book or something. Or continue wandering the school, though in your current state it would be a bad idea."

James dropped the candy bars. "I ate what!?" He asked, spitting out the last crumbs of what he had already eaten. "What the fuck is wrong with this school!? How did you get cocaine in the motherfucking chocolate bars!?" He shot up, only to then topple over and faceplant. Not because of the cocaine, which wasn't taking effect just yet, but because he is still quite tired. "Owie..."

"Minh. Drag him away." Crowley said, paying close attention to his gay porn. Minh walked in, picking James up.

"My apologies, Mr. Callahan. Crowley is a bit busy at the moment. And I don't think you want to see what he'll do during that film." Minh said dryly, dragging James away to Yuzuki's class. He gently placed him in an empty seat and walked away, nodding briefly at Yuzuki and saying "Don't permanently injure anybody" in Japanese.