Excalibur Squadron OOC Thread

[The balkens]

at kour:

Now you done Pissed me off.
Who doesn't give a fuck? Me.
Who follows some senile old hag known to the rest of the world as the queen? The limeys.

Now please fuck off before you have a very pissed off German on your hands...

German eh?

Really?

[Kouralia]

I, like most Germans that I know, get pissed off easily when some Brit seemingly brags about their military "superiority".

I'm very proud of my family's service to Germany, so forgive me if I get a little sore when you brag about the Somme and other victories.

I'm not bragging about it. Monfrox said that I should pick up on other people using foreign languages to not appear like I am picking on anyone. So, as I used a hilariously badly-run battle for Russia (Alma), I used hilariously (and horrifyingly) badly run battles for Ireland and Germany which are honestly nothing to be proud of. Then because of Italy I used a lol one. Because, rly Germany, you could have picked a better ally. I mean. Seriously?

Italy in WWII era?

[Britcan]

German eh?

Really?

You insulted the Queen, you had it coming.

[Kouralia]

Really?

You insulted the Queen, you had it coming.

Yeah, actually you're lucky I now realise I were a tad out of line with that. I am hilariously patriotic and monarchist and normally that would not end well for me and the moderation team.

So never call the queen a senile hag again or I'll dedicate a 2,500 word essay to why Germany is inferior to Britain, include lots of personal attacks to you and some chauvinistic remarks about Angela Merkel (alongside some remarks about how Maggie was better than her, and detailing in depth how I would utterly smash and burn your collection of amazing historical Teutonic Militaria.).

Capiche?

[Britcan]

You insulted the Queen, you had it coming.

Yeah, actually you're lucky I now realise I were a tad out of line with that. I am hilariously patriotic and monarchist and normally that would not end well for me and the moderation team.

So never call the queen a senile hag again or I'll dedicate a 2,500 word essay to why Germany is inferior to Britain, include lots of personal attacks to you and some chauvinistic remarks about Angela Merkel (alongside some remarks about how Maggie was better than her, and detailing in depth how I would utterly smash and burn your collection of amazing historical Teutonic Militaria.).

Capiche?

I wouldn't go that far. Merkel has, in her defence, supported far fewer genocidal regimes.

[Kouralia]

Yeah, actually you're lucky I now realise I were a tad out of line with that. I am hilariously patriotic and monarchist and normally that would not end well for me and the moderation team.

So never call the queen a senile hag again or I'll dedicate a 2,500 word essay to why Germany is inferior to Britain, include lots of personal attacks to you and some chauvinistic remarks about Angela Merkel (alongside some remarks about how Maggie was better than her, and detailing in depth how I would utterly smash and burn your collection of amazing historical Teutonic Militaria.).

Capiche?

I wouldn't go that far. Merkel has, in her defence, supported far fewer genocidal regimes.

I wouldn't go as far as to state Germany is inferior to Britain, I wouldn't go as far as to insult someone over the internet I barely know, I wouldn't ever damage such amazing things as Prussian Needle Guns.

Your point?

[The balkens]

Ah.

Think of Italy as the ugly girl at the bar.

The Englishman got the pretty French girl, we had a average looking Japanese girl on speed dial but she lived so damn far away, the Russian blond wants a commitment but we said fuck no.
So we kept drinking and drinking until that ugly ass itie became a hottie.

And that ugly ass itie fucked us over by cheating on us with the Brits and the Americans...
(YOU DIRTY SLUT!)

EDIT:
And the Russian blond overpowered us and subjected us to about 50 years of really painful...er....well let's just say those rope burns wont go away....

[Britcan]

Ah.

Think of Italy as the ugly girl at the bar.

The Englishman got the pretty French girl, we had a average looking Japanese girl on speed dial but she lived so damn far away, the Russian blond wants a commitment but we said fuck no.
So we kept drinking and drinking until that ugly ass itie became a hottie.

And that ugly ass itie fucked us over by cheating on us with the Brits and the Americans...
(YOU DIRTY SLUT!)

That's... an interesting analogy. Although the French girl left soon enough and then half of her was occupied by Germany while the other half co-operated with him. This analogy is getting ridiculous fast but the point is Britain's true love should be Canada.

[Morrdh]

Ah.

Think of Italy as the ugly girl at the bar.

The Englishman got the pretty French girl, we had a average looking Japanese girl on speed dial but she lived so damn far away, the Russian blond wants a commitment but we said fuck no.
So we kept drinking and drinking until that ugly ass itie became a hottie.

And that ugly ass itie fucked us over by cheating on us with the Brits and the Americans...
(YOU DIRTY SLUT!)

You know that reminds me of WW1 down as a bar brawl...

Germany, Austria and Italy are stood together in the middle of the pub, when Serbia bumps into Austria, and spills Austria's pint.

Austria demands Serbia buy it a complete new suit, because there are splashes on its trouser leg.

Germany expresses its support for Austria's point of view.

Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit.

Serbia points out that it can't afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for cleaning Austria's trousers.

Russia and Serbia look at Austria.

Austria asks Serbia who it's looking at.

Russia suggests that Austria should leave its little brother alone.

Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in compelling it to do so.

Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and that this is sufficiently out of order that Britain should not intervene.

Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it?

Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render Russia incapable of such action.

Britain and France ask Germany whether it's looking at Belgium.

Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper. When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone.

Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France, and punches Belgium.

France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches Russia. Germany punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other.

Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over. Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it's on Britain's side, but stays there. Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria.

Australia punches Turkey, and gets punched back. There are no hard feelings, because Britain made Australia do it.

France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back up and carries on fighting. Russia gets thrown through another one, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete personality change.

Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over anyway. Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room chanting.

America waits till Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching from Britain and France, then walks over and smashes it with a barstool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself.

By now all the chairs are broken, and the big mirror over the bar is shattered. Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germany's fault. While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy drinks for all their friends.

[The balkens]

Huh. Never saw it that way.

So kour, no hard feelings?

[Kouralia]

Huh. Never saw it that way.

So kour, no hard feelings?

Just... Never do what I said again and I won't wax lyrical to Sir Bobby Moore (RIP).

[French Indochine]

Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it's on Britain's side, but stays there.

Considering the fact that the Japanese actually did contribute to the Entente Powers by mopping up isolated and under-garrisoned German colonial holdings in the Far East, albeit with more interest in their own benefits and gains from such campaigns, I recommend you edit that to:

"Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it's on Britain's side, but stays there. It largely watches the fight from afar while the Western powers slug it at each other, however it begins to think for a minute after catching sight of a terrified waitress, China, who is seeking shelter nearby behind an overturned table. Japan notices that Germany, too busy and occupied with the fight it's embroiled in, had left its order of scotch on a table far from the brawl. It quickly snatches the drink when Germany's too beaten to look, and inserts a newly acquired date-rape drug into the glass before feigning kindness and offering it to China while leading her outside through the back door."

And I think that the New Zealanders won't be very happy that they didn't get a part in the fight.

[Monfrox]

So, what have we learned today?

[Morrdh]

Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it's on Britain's side, but stays there.

Considering the fact that the Japanese actually did contribute to the Entente Powers by mopping up isolated and under-garrisoned German colonial holdings in the Far East, albeit with more interest in their own benefits and gains from such campaigns, I recommend you edit that to:

"Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it's on Britain's side, but stays there. It largely watches the fight from afar while the Western powers slug it at each other, however it begins to think for a minute after catching sight of a terrified waitress, China, who is seeking shelter nearby behind an overturned table. Japan notices that Germany, too busy and occupied with the fight it's embroiled in, had left its order of scotch on a table far from the brawl. It quickly snatches the drink when Germany's too beaten to look, and inserts a newly acquired date-rape drug into the glass before feigning kindness and offering it to China while leading her outside through the back door."

And I think that the New Zealanders won't be very happy that they didn't get a part in the fight.

I'm aware that Japan was active during WW1 out in the Far East.

[Kherkov]

Ah.

Think of Italy as the ugly girl at the bar.

The Englishman got the pretty French girl, we had a average looking Japanese girl on speed dial but she lived so damn far away, the Russian blond wants a commitment but we said fuck no.
So we kept drinking and drinking until that ugly ass itie became a hottie.

And that ugly ass itie fucked us over by cheating on us with the Brits and the Americans...
(YOU DIRTY SLUT!)

You know that reminds me of WW1 down as a bar brawl...

Germany, Austria and Italy are stood together in the middle of the pub, when Serbia bumps into Austria, and spills Austria's pint.

Austria demands Serbia buy it a complete new suit, because there are splashes on its trouser leg.

Germany expresses its support for Austria's point of view.

Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit.

Serbia points out that it can't afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for cleaning Austria's trousers.

Russia and Serbia look at Austria.

Austria asks Serbia who it's looking at.

Russia suggests that Austria should leave its little brother alone.

Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in compelling it to do so.

Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and that this is sufficiently out of order that Britain should not intervene.

Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it?

Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render Russia incapable of such action.

Britain and France ask Germany whether it's looking at Belgium.

Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper. When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone.

Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France, and punches Belgium.

France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches Russia. Germany punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other.

Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over. Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it's on Britain's side, but stays there. Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria.

Australia punches Turkey, and gets punched back. There are no hard feelings, because Britain made Australia do it.

France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back up and carries on fighting. Russia gets thrown through another one, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete personality change.

Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over anyway. Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room chanting.

America waits till Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching from Britain and France, then walks over and smashes it with a barstool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself.

By now all the chairs are broken, and the big mirror over the bar is shattered. Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germany's fault. While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy drinks for all their friends.

Saw that on sickipedia actually...

What about this?

[Kherkov]

Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it's on Britain's side, but stays there.

Considering the fact that the Japanese actually did contribute to the Entente Powers by mopping up isolated and under-garrisoned German colonial holdings in the Far East, albeit with more interest in their own benefits and gains from such campaigns, I recommend you edit that to:

"Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it's on Britain's side, but stays there. It largely watches the fight from afar while the Western powers slug it at each other, however it begins to think for a minute after catching sight of a terrified waitress, China, who is seeking shelter nearby behind an overturned table. Japan notices that Germany, too busy and occupied with the fight it's embroiled in, had left its order of scotch on a table far from the brawl. It quickly snatches the drink when Germany's too beaten to look, and inserts a newly acquired date-rape drug into the glass before feigning kindness and offering it to China while leading her outside through the back door."

And I think that the New Zealanders won't be very happy that they didn't get a part in the fight.

Yes, I wouldn't assume the joke is written by someone too well versed in history...

[Kouralia]

So, what have we learned today?

That if you piss off the Highland Brigade you're pretty much fucked.

[Goram]

You know that reminds me of WW1 down as a bar brawl...

Germany, Austria and Italy are stood together in the middle of the pub, when Serbia bumps into Austria, and spills Austria's pint.

Austria demands Serbia buy it a complete new suit, because there are splashes on its trouser leg.

Germany expresses its support for Austria's point of view.

Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit.

Serbia points out that it can't afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for cleaning Austria's trousers.

Russia and Serbia look at Austria.

Austria asks Serbia who it's looking at.

Russia suggests that Austria should leave its little brother alone.

Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in compelling it to do so.

Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and that this is sufficiently out of order that Britain should not intervene.

Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it?

Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render Russia incapable of such action.

Britain and France ask Germany whether it's looking at Belgium.

Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper. When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone.

Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France, and punches Belgium.

France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches Russia. Germany punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other.

Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over. Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it's on Britain's side, but stays there. Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria.

Australia punches Turkey, and gets punched back. There are no hard feelings, because Britain made Australia do it.

France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back up and carries on fighting. Russia gets thrown through another one, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete personality change.

Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over anyway. Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room chanting.

America waits till Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching from Britain and France, then walks over and smashes it with a barstool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself.

By now all the chairs are broken, and the big mirror over the bar is shattered. Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germany's fault. While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy drinks for all their friends.

Saw that on sickipedia actually...

What about this?

Hilarious, right up until the bit where the United States makes Germany surrender.

[Kouralia]

Saw that on sickipedia actually...

What about this?

Hilarious, right up until the bit where the United States makes Germany surrender.

Right up until the bit where Operation Michael wasn't halted by *everyone*, before the British and Colonial forces (and everyone else) started the 100 days offensive.

[Len Hyet]

Saw that on sickipedia actually...

What about this?

Hilarious, right up until the bit where the United States makes Germany surrender.

*cough*Denial*cough*

[The balkens]

Spoilers: World war two.

Germany, being the raging bastard that he is, beats the fuck out of Poland. Poland agrees to move in to germanys shitty apartment. This pisses off britain and France off so much that they don't do any thing, just glare and think angry thoughts. Germany fucks up Denmark, Norway and luxemburg. Finally after getting a few Molotov cocktails, Germany burns down belgium and the netherlands cottage. Both agree to pay rent to Germany. Britain moves her kids into Frances house as a way to make it look fancy. Germany drives a monster truck into Frances house and France and britains kids take a boat across the river to britains mansion. America gives Britain money and a new sports car. Germany challenges Britain to a street drag race. Britain causes Germany to wreck his car and Germany runs off. Feeling defeated, Germany gets pissed off when a Russian family moves into the neighborhood. Germany beats the shit out of Russias wife and kids, (urkraine and the Baltic states.) this enrages Russia to the point where the two get im a fight in a bar called stalins. Germany realises that Russia is not a complete pussy and runs off. Americas car gets destroyed by a prank gone wrong by japan. America gets pissed off and beats the shit out of japan again and again. Italy and germany tell America that japan made a mistake and tell him to fuck off. America and Britain beat the fuck out of Italy and Italy moves out of the area for a bit.
Germany runs away from Frances house after America and Britain showed up. Belguim and the netherlands won't pay rent anymore and Germany burns down their houses. Russia convinces poland to move in with him. Austria wants a divorce and Yugoslavia says that she's Been seeing one of Russias kids. Germany and Russia duke it out in a brawl and Russia kicks germanys ass.

Realizing that Germany has suffered enough, america blows up japans house.
Japan agrees to give America rent. Germany says sorry to France and britain and America but takes a shit in Russias cornflakes. Russia takes half of germanys stuff in response. America gives Germany a new car and France and britain agree to defend Germany from Russia due to Russias real estate company is complete shit.

[Monfrox]

So, what have we learned today?

That if you piss off the Highland Brigade you're pretty much fucked.

No. That if you piss off anyone, generally you're an ass.

[Len Hyet]

That if you piss off the Highland Brigade you're pretty much fucked.

No. That if you piss off anyone, generally you're an ass.

What's that about looking in a mirror?

[Kouralia]

Spoilers: World war two.

You bastard! It's totally spoiled the story for me! D:<

[Monfrox]

No. That if you piss off anyone, generally you're an ass.

What's that about looking in a mirror?

I don't know, see for yourself.