Esquarium Today [Regional News, CLOSED]

by **Arkiasis** » Tue Dec 15, 2015 5:36 pm

Fans Clash in Arkiasis-Nevanmaa Match
Police ejected more than 70 people and arrested 38, Lyonese authorities announce increased security
ABC News | Posted: 15 December 2015

Fans fight with police during the Arkiasis Group Match defeat by Nevanmaa at Resudden.

"These actions will not be tolerated." says Lyonese authorities

RESUDDEN - In last night's 3-0 Nevanmaa victory over Arkiasis fans from both sides clashed following verbal exchanges, threats and offensive chants. Arkiasis' match against Nevanmaa on 14 December was the first time the two have played since a friendly in 1995.

Tensions were already high in the days preceding the match with the match being declared as "more than just football". With recent political issues between Arkiasis and Nevanmaa, especially regarding Nevanmaa's intervention in Lecistan and Nevanmaa's recent ejection from NOSDO, being at the forefront. Small sections of fans from both sides booed during the national anthems and offensive chants rang during the game.

Claims were also made that included the use of laser pointers during the match, however police were unable to find any evidence after searching suspected fans.

Resudden police said that at no point did police lose control but confirmed that a group of Nevan fans turned on officers, hurling punches and garbage, after they were stopped from reaching a group of Arkiasian supporters who were being ejected from the ground. Four officers received treatment for minor injuries in the altercation.

Smaller incidents were reported in several pubs surrounding the stadium and a brick was hurled at a police horse, the horse did not suffer any injuries and is "fit and well" according to police.

Following the match riot police escorted and separated fans from the stadium in order to prevent further escalation.

The Coupe d'Esquarium committee has called on football authorities and the police to "throw the book" towards those involved in the "disappointing" and "depressing" outbreaks of football-related violence in the game in an attempt to ensure incidents do not snowball further.

"The individuals who were ejected from last night's game have been banned from attending games at any stadium for the rest of the tournament." announced Lyonese Football Authorities. "And will we be increasing security at all our venues and looking into the possibility of lifetime bans against those who have been charged. These actions will not be tolerated."

The Arkiasis Football Association, the governing football organization in Arkiasis released a statement condemning the actions. "We were embarrassed and appalled by the behaviour of a minority of so-called fans who last night were involved in disturbances and disorder in Resudden. The Arkiasis Football Association will take the strongest possible action against those involved in the disturbances and will impose immediate lifetime bans on all those found guilty," they said.

"These deplorable individuals have no place in Arkiasian Football and bring shame on the sport and the vast majority of proper, law-abiding, fans."

Security is now likely to come under the microscope and become a major issue for the Esquarian Football Association. But the EFA has pointed to the number of big matches it has been able to police effectively at previous CdE tournaments. About 20,000 tickets are believed to have been sold to Nevan fans and 25,000 to Arkiasian fans.

"This weekend saw at least 36 football-related arrests on the rail network relating to racism, assault and other offences." said the Lyonese Transport Minister.

"The trouble-making minority were dealt with swiftly and robustly. However, the scenes at the Orangedome on Monday serve as a firm and sobering reminder that there is still much more to be done in tackling football-related disorder," he said.

Arkiasis will have its bye day tomorrow and Nevanmaa will face Litorea, another match with high chances of violence and hooliganism. Riot police will be deployed to the stadium and act as security.

Top Stories:
- Are Police prepared for the Litorea v Nevanmaa match?
- Kaskira State TV claims its team defeated Vyvland 10-0
- Riots in Qianrong

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by **West Cedarbrook** » Tue Dec 15, 2015 7:11 pm

Around the Kramden

Northwest State: Conflicting Village Petitions in Smridikan Township
Lazartown Civil Court Judge to Hear Pleas
The Lazartown District Civil Court has agreed to hear arguments from two groups seeking village charters in Northwest State's Smridikan Township, in the trans-mountain region of that state. The conflict arose over the spring as the two groups requesting village charters presented signatures on their petitions to Township Clerk Pinchas Andouille, both containing the required 60% of voters within their declared boundaries for chartering of a village. Filing first was businessman Marvin Berle, representing residents seeking to establish a Village of Merb Sloup, centered in the heart of the township including the intersection of State Routes 20 and 21. The proposed Merb Sloup would have a population of 3,901. Mr. Berle sent his petitions to Clerk Andouille in late October. Two weeks later, residents of the southern part of the township filed a similar petition with the Clerk, calling for chartering the Village of Shmakhtn, with a population of 4,791. Shmakhtn would cover an area along the southern township line, and extending northward with eastern and western boundaries at Belette Creek and Brazowy Cat Run respectively. The two petitions have conflicts in two areas; the first covering the overlap of Belette Creek south of Roumelle Street, including the VavMart at the corner of SR21 and Romulet Street, the second being an irregularly shaped section of Merb Sloup West of Belette Creek running the length of that proposed village and extending as far north as the Sigal Road bridge over the Brazowy Cat. Since the petition filing for Shmakhtn Village by Mr. Yitzhak Kubelsky, a farmer with acreage along Belette Creek, Mr. Andouille has repeatedly tried to arrange a meeting between Mr. Berle and Mr. Kubelsky, to no avail. After last week's meeting of the township trustees, which ended amidst heated discussions between the two groups, Mr. Andouille was advised by the trustees to petition the District Civil Court in Lazartown for advice.

Rondulet Street East of SR21, Smridikan Twp.

In a late note yesterday, the Lazartown court appointed Judge Sara Tarnower to review the cases of both petitioners. There is no precedent for this situation in Northwest State history, and Judge Tarnower's office has informed The Morning Star that she will research relevant case law and similar cases in other states before setting up a meeting with the Township trustees, Mr. Berle, and Mr. Kubelsky. Researchers at The Morning Star indicate the only recent relevant case occurred in Central State in 1978, with the creation of the villages of Ayre Nevshis and Los Allyom in the now defunct Evinrude Township. In that case, the Charleroi Civil District Court ruled that voters in the five overlapping areas required special elections to decide which of the two villages they would join.

Legal experts in Lazartown, and in the Northwest State capital of Lawrenceville have indicated that it seemed more likely that an investigation of the petitions would be called for, and the petition with the greater number of signatures in each overlapping area would be given preference. The same observers are split whether signatories of both petitions would be included or excluded, or if the date of those signatures would take precedence in such a case. Until Judge Tarnower has had a chance to review the requests, relevant state regulations, and relevant related cases, such opinion is only speculation. In Lawrenceville, Governor Pietruszka has refused comment on the controversy, telling The Lawrenceville Sun "I wouldn't want to speculate about these village charter requests at this time. This has been referred to the Civil Court, and in no way would I intrude on this matter. Judge Tarnower is going to rule on this, and, of course, I will support her ruling".

Meanwhile, in Smridikan Township, the adversaries continued verbal sniping. Mr. Berle told a reporter from the Lazartown Telegraph-News yesterday "We filed first. Kubelsky knehew full well we were talking to he homeowners south of Roumelle, and to farmers well north of his area. I stil maintain that a compact village is the best, most efficient vehicle for providing improved policing, fire protection, and extension of water and sewers to the heart of business in Smridikan. He's just looping north to pick up a few more residents for his petitions. No thought at all how hard it's gonna be sending police way out to the cornfields. Hell, once we've got Merb Sloup, the remaining Smridikan constabulary will have lot's of time to wander the roads down south".

Upon hearing Mr. Berle's latest remarks, Mr. Kubelsky told the same reporter "Now look, we pay our fair share of taxes here in Smridikan, and Berle'd still have State 21 all the way to Rondultet Street once we've gotten charter for Shmakhtn. Seem's like Berle's gotten tired of the insurance sales life. He ain't winning a lot of friends down here, and ought to think about that. Well, we've got our needs down here in the southern range, and a lot of folks I've talked to further east on State 20 asked to join up with Shmakhtn. That's why we asked them to sign on. Hell, why would he want those old shacks on Roundulet anyways? He ought to be thanking me for taking them off Merb Sloup's hands".

by **Lyonsland** » Wed Dec 16, 2015 4:50 pm

News In English |

Nuchett i Lejonir |

Uutiset nevaksi |

Novisi Luziyci |

Ongeuengs en Vyvluder|

Actualités en Français |

Nòvitèt in l’hespeirana |

Novitáti in l’ odýssiána |

Nàechdan na Gàelig

CdE V: Security on high alert as Litorea-Nevanmaa game approaches
Security is high in and around the Orangedome in Resudden as Sainsbury's Police Commissioner warns of "inevitable" violence

"High alert" - Police outside the Orangedome earlier this evening in Resudden.

The Police Commissioner of the Tuath of Sainsbury has warned both match-goers and the public to be aware of an "inevitable disturbance" tonight as Nevanmaa plays the Nautasian nation of Litorea in the third matchday of the group stages of the fifth Coupe d' Esquarium in Resudden, Sainsbury.

Police Commissioner Linda Berrinnburtt told the press today that more than half of Sainsbury's 15,000 strong police force has been dispatched to areas at the Orangedome and surrounding areas, as well as downtown Resudden. "We expect as much as two thirds of the stadium's capacity to be filled by natives of either country," Berrinburtt told the press. "We regret to announce that we are forecasting inevitable violence whatever the result is, but we can assume a heavier backlash if Litorea wins this match".

Police have been extra cautious after worse than expected disturbances took place on Monday when Nevanmaa beat neighbouring Arkiasis 3-0. Resudden's police arrested 38 people, most of whom were Nevans, but the tuath's police headquarters affirmed that the police did not lose control.

The police has issued a formal warning of caution to the majority of Resudden's two million population, asking them to "stay away" from the violence if possible. Lyonese match-goers have also been asked to stay uninvolved in any occurrences and to be "respectful" towards both nations' national anthems. Many pubs and bars across the city have announced that they will be barring all Nevans and Litoreans from entering, while some have even announced their intention to close down completely for the night. These actions are being taken after some fights broke out between Nevan and Arkiasian supporters on Monday.

Sainsbury's provincial government has also pleaded with Nevans and Litoreans to use different forms of public transport getting to and from the match. Nevan supporters have been suggested to use the Resudden metro system, while Litoreans have been asked to use the city's tram line instead, with both systems operating routes to the Orangedome. Police will also be present on both systems of transport to prevent violence there. Security checks will also be carried out at the entrance stands of the Orangedome to prevent attendees from bringing in "potential weapons of harm" into the stadium.

Meanwhile, authorities have banned the singing of Littorin neekeri (Litorean Negro) by Nevan fans during the match, warning of fines for those caught singing the song. Authorities have also warned of harsh penalties towards the Nevan Football Federation if the song is sung.

Political analysts are also predicting that violence could affect already deteriorating Nevan-Lyonese relations. While no official statements have been made about possible actions the government may take, embargoes could be imposed on the heavily conservative nation should riots break out. Polling agency Urbell-Fredericc released a poll late last month carried out among 1,000 Lyonese adults, with 79% saying that they have a negative viewpoint on Nevanmaa, 11% saying they have a positive viewpoint and 10% saying they don't know.

With Lyonsland having its bye-day today, much of the home interest will tonight be focused on the Nevan-Litorean match. RTL News will keep you up to date as a night of high tension climaxes in Resudden.

Coverage of Matchday 3 of the Coupe d' Esquarium is live on RTL1, RTL1 HD, RTL 4K and RTL International from 19:00 LST with the Litorea vs. Nevanmaa match. Other matches will commence on RTL2, RTL3 and RTL CdE Extra 1-10.

News In Brief
#CdEV: Resudden prepares itself for a night of violence as Litorea vs. Nevanmaa rages closer
#CdEV: Coupe sets unprecedented TV viewing figures as 40 million tune in to watch the Opening Ceremony
#AbhscalEr60: Two special live episodes announced as the flagship soap opera reaches its 60th anniversary
#CdEV: Could Lyonsland crash out at the group stage?

by **Pavonistade** » Wed Dec 16, 2015 9:59 pm

CdE V PAVONISTADE SUCCESSFUL AGAINST EAST CORTOGUAY 4-0
Matchday 3s outcome compensates for PAV-GZR match + CdE V updates

Date: December 16, 2015

Team captain Frederik Kamef was among the
Fearless that defied the East Cortoguayan team.

After the Fearless were given December 14 as a bye day, they were at work to rethink all measures to avoid allowing the opponent to gain the upper hand and better ready themselves when going on the offensive. The match between the Fearless and the East Cortoguayan team, known as the Coffeemakers or the Golden Goats in English, yielded a 4-0 victory for Pavonistade.

The first half of the match saw the Fearless and Coffeemakers aggressively countering each other's moves. Initially both sides were seem to be at a stalemate until forward Nathen Sacherisen stopped the standoff, performing a successful instep kick at the 20th minute. Captain Frederik Kamef made the second goal in the 40th minute as the Coffeemakers failed to repeal the Fearless push towards their goalkeeper. Further struggle persisted in the last five minutes, and the first half concluded with a 2-0 score for Pavonistade.

The situation in the second half seemed to mirror that in the first half, in which the Fearless tried to outmaneuver the Coffeemakers and vice versa. At the 67th minute midfielder Donald Barbetou booted the football into the East Cortoguayan net, granting the third goal for the Fearless. It was likely that the Coffeemakers were disorganized owing to the inability to counter the Fearless. Oliver Peques, another midfielder, secured another goal for the Fearless in the 82th minute. The Pavonistadians prevented the Coffeemakers from outwitting them in the remainder of the match.

A 4-0 success for the Fearless helped alleviate the damages suffered in the 1-4 first matchday loss to the Ziegenian Wolves. "It was very pleasing to see the Fearless rebounding from the earlier defeat [to the Ziegenians]," manager Lawrense Dawn spoke in regards to the team's achievement. "They [the Fearless] deserve a pat on the back for lifting themselves from the troubles they encountered, but this is only a part of a constant cycle of improving". Dawn also admired the Coffeemakers for "putting up a decent defense [against the Pavonistadians]".

Nevertheless Pavonistade is still at risk of being eliminated from the group stage, lying at third place in Group H. Sports commentator Bob Campbell and Jordan Harrington both referred to the realization of a possible pre-knockout elimination for the Fearless, should the future of CdE V group matches do not favor Pavonistade. Campbell stated that "a win over both North Qianrong and Atlantica must be achieved at all costs" while Harrington mentioned that "losses or even draws for Ziegenhain can help in the Fearless survival of the group stage". Competition in Group H has been described by Pavonistadian spectators and analysts as "survival of the fittest".

In other matches today Ziegenhain and North Qianrong tied 2-2, the first CdE V match conclusion for Ziegenhain that is not a win. Michillies defeated the Jahistic Union 4-0 in Group B, while Francilie lost to the Ocelot Isles 0-1 (the latter now happens to be in second place of the "Group of Death"). Osonia spectacularly crushed Atlantia 7-1, as Daecon did the same to East Nautarya with the same 7-1 score. Litorea, a debuting country, is likely to proceed to knockouts while Soled and East Cortoguay are likely to be eliminated.

Matchday	Opponent	Outcome (PAV-XYZ)
One, December 12	Ziegenhain	1-4 (loss)
Two (bye day), December 14	No opponents	N/A
Three, December 16	East Cortoguay	4-0 (win)
Four, December 18	North Qianrong	TBA
Five, December 20	Atlantica	TBA

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by **Kraq** » Thu Dec 17, 2015 6:22 pm

وكالة الانباء العراقية العربية
Al-Wakālah al-'Arabīyah as-‘Krāq al-'Anbā
Kraqi Arab News Agency

BREAKING NEWS: Kraq Defeats Britanno 2-0 to Move to 3rd in the Table

Anwar El-Mofty celebrates scoring Kraq's first goal

ETTSTEN, LYONSLAND - The surprises and upsets keep coming in this year's Coupe d'Esquarium, with in Group C, the Ocelot Isles defeating the previously unbeaten Francilie, newcomers Litorea continuing to shock the world with their 3-1 victory over the racists filth of Nevanmaa - a result which prompts celebration all within itself - and winless Salbeiland earning a 3-3 draw against Scotia.

The Royals were the favourites coming into the Britanno- Kraq match. With the sand dragons needing a win they wanted to keep their hopes alive of advancing into the Round of 16; a fact which reflected Head Coach Iman Mohammed shift in Kraq's formation from his preferred 4-6-0 to a more defensive 5-4-1, placing a strong emphasis on his wingbacks; Mansoor El-Ghazzawy and Ziauddin Amjad.

The sand dragons started the match strong, dominating possession of the ball and pushing the Royals deep into their own half. The high pressure quickly created a chance in the 6th minute, when a Ziauddin Amjad cross connected to the head of Anwar El-Mofty, who put the ball just shy of the goal. Several minutes later, the sand dragons failed to capitalise on another chance, when a shot from point blank range from El-Mofty was superbly saved by Royals keeper; Tyler Berry. By mid-way through the first half, the Royals began to fight their way back into the match as the Kraqis began to fade and the Royal began to create serious goal scoring opportunities. The best of which occurred in the 44th minute, when a shot from Emerson Schultz sailed millimetres wide of the post - keeping things level at halftime.

Unlike Kraq's previous match, Head Coach Mohammed didn't make any substitution or tactical shifts; apparently content with his team's performance. The second half began much slower than the first, with no one really controlling the match and a slow midfield stalemate, with neither able to break the gridlock, briskly ensuing for the first fifteen minutes of the match. A breakthrough came in the 60th minute, when a magnificent Brevui Themvako pass found Anwar El-Mofty in some space, who instinctively slotted the ball into the back of the net - stealing the lead from Britanno. The sand dragons continued to press for a second goal, craving themselves a number of chances during the second half - eventually scoring after the 72th minute, when a Antoni Alfarsi free kick found its way into the back of the net; 2-0. The Royals responded positively, seizing control of the game and pushing the Kraqis deep into their own half - but failed to score, securing Kraq's victory.

Kraq's surprising victory over Britanno triggered massive celebrations from Kraqi fans section of the stadium and in Kraq, with thousands of people taking to streets to celebrate. In spite of the sand dragons success of the Royals, Kraq remains in serious danger of an exit of the being eliminated from the group stage in this edition of the Coupe d'Esquarium - a fact expressed in Iman Mohammed's post match interview.

“It's always good to get a result against one of the bigger teams, especially in CDE,” said Iman in regards to Kraq's victory and the possibly of advancing into the Round of 16. “But we can't get to overconfident or cocky, we're still in third place in the so-called ‘Group of Death’ and we still have to face two tough teams who'd be wanting to win just as badly as we do. We have to remain focused on the task ahead of us and not start get distracted by who we might play if we make it out of the group and in the knockout stage. A thought which is certainly lingering in the back of my lads minds. Getting too ahead of of ourselves will most unquestionably get us eliminated from the tournament.”

The sand dragons face the Ocelots on 18 December, a match in which both teams will be desperately looking to win and improve their chances of advancing into the Round of 16 going to their final group games on the 20 December. The Ocelots have baffled football spectators and pundits alike this CDE, forcing a 0-0 draw against the reigning champions Vyvland and coming out the 1-0 victors over Francilie. If Kraq wins, the sand dragons will move up to second place. But if both the Ocelots and Francilie win, the sand dragons will be eliminated.

Other News

LYONSLAND - Fans Clash in Arkiasis-Nevanmaa Match; 38 fans arrested
LYONSLAND - Keep up with our live coverage of the Coupe d'Esquarium V
QIANRONG - Rioting continues in Qianrong - over 1,000 people believed to have killed

by **New Zepuha** » Fri Dec 18, 2015 7:14 am

Rioting in Karlsburg Over Losing Streak; Rebel Forces Smote by Imperial Guard

December 18th, 2015

Karlsburg, Salbeiland - It came to the attention of the Karlsburg Magistrate that a mass of football fans were coming to visit the town hall. Thinking nothing of it the police scrambled a modest amount of officers to provide security, though the situation took a quick turn when magisters were pelted with debris and had to flee inside the city hall for safety. Upon the realization that the fans were not fans at all, the magisters began to call in the reserves and auxiliary departments as the crowds began to grow in their sizes.

By the time city magisters were able to muster riot suppression teams many buildings were already up in flames. Many waved Salbeiner flags and chanted 'Down with the cheats' blaming the first two losses in Salbeiland's international debut on Lyon rigging. The riots continued well into this morning as magisters began mop up operations along side elements of the National Defense Force. The Chief Magister reports that at least four officers were injured, and over two-hundred arrests were made in the process of the three days of rioting downtown. An estimated 35 million Thrones were lost in property damage to private citizens and the city.

Gastonburg, Salbeiland - On Wednesday, in a blatant show of rebellion the citizens of Gastonburg bore arms against their police forces. They were swiftly dealt with by forces of the Imperial Guard Corps of Military Police, and twenty rebels were killed outright in a brief gun battle. Several citizens and guardsmen also perished in the gun battle, leading to an Imperial victory. The regional commander has ordered the Helmund NDF to muster and put down the insurrectionists.

by **Victoriala** » Fri Dec 18, 2015 7:58 am

聲音豆人
Voice of the Beanman
The Meme Masters of Min journalism

11th Month (Change) 7, 2786 | Christmas 18, 2015 | Lmao bitch get rekt

#Accurate #CdE: Litorea Victorious against Nevanmaa
AHAHA GET KICKED ON YOU HAUGHTY FUCKERS HAHAHA

KONRI-TEN - In a historic turn of events, the really awesome Litorean team (whose nicknames we don't know but holy shitballs) have stood gloriously victorious against the racist-ass proud-ass dickshoved-to-the-ass literally humiliation-hammered cracker-asses of the Nevanmaa Lions 3-1 in the Esquarian Cup. As of the time we are writing this article there has been obvious dissapointment and distraughtness over the Nevans, but here on the Red Lion, we decided to rub salt, spill lemon juice and squirt medical alcohol on their salty, wounded asses by saying HAHAHAHA FUCKING REKT LMAO GET FUCKING DUNKED ON YOU FUCKING CRACKER JACKS WHERE'S YOUR WHITE POWER NOW FUCKING BLUE LIONS AINT GOT SHIT AGAINST THESE FUCKERS HAHAHA

The Min people, who don't really take sides in sporting events they don't participate on and only anticipate the teams of the countries they don't like to lose fatally (we count among these mofos), have gone with great jubilation and festive air after news of Litorean victory spread throughout the Metropolitan regions that follow the CdE, with massive celebrations on the streets, particularly in the city of Konri-ten where songs in praise of the Great Lightbearer Lion are sung and (unsurprisingly, considering how gloatful we are in these kinds of things) the banners of Litorea are waved.

"WOOHOOHOOHOO THIS IS A FUCKING MIRACLE MAN" one celebrant joyfully exclaimed. "THIS IS LIKE, THE SECOND BEST DAY IN MIN SUBTLE AGGRESSIVENESS AND WHOOP DEE FUCKING DOO"

"The faggots got what they deserved. Moral lesson of the story, lion's suck when they wear blue." another celebrant said. "Wear red bitches, do our country a favor."

We ain't got shit from Litorea yet, but we''re sure they're gloating as well. I mean, look at Qianrong. They're fucking dancing and shit. #Killthe[Blue]Lion fams. #Killthe[Blue]Lion. (Add blue please, there's like, three to four more countries who use lions as a sigil. Including us. That triggers us.) But anyway, HAHAHAHA FUCK YOU NEVANMAA GET FUCKING KICKED IN THE BALLS HAHAHA FUCKING LOSERS LMAO

#RoastNevanmaa

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by **North Daecon** » Fri Dec 18, 2015 9:39 am

OP-ED: Is the Daeconese Rangers the only one who could beat the formidable Nantai Fighters?
Nantai wants to convince South Velkia we can't.

December 17, 2015

WATERWITT, DAECON/DENKOM, LYONSLAND - We are now at the forefront of the Fighters/national team debate as we move towards the December 18 match between Luziyca and Daecon. However, Nantai is not Nantai without a televised statement from the Chief Executive of Nantai, Kung Alicia, who released a televised address to the Luziycan Constituent Republic of Nantai and to South Velkia in general, telling viewers to support the Kenyen Fighters from countries such as Scotia, Geadland, Namor and Katranjiev, citing a nationalistic reason to show the world that they will be never defeated, and they deserve the Coupe d'Esquarium.

No way, pal.

The Luziycan entry into the fifth edition of the Coupe d'Esquarium has been extremely contested from the start, with many people calling out the Kenyen Fighters as inexperienced and fresh to the hectic world of the Coupe d'Esquarium. Also, many people have been quick to call out the potentially fatal overconfidence of the Kenyen Fighters, and the unrealistic reasoning of the people defending it as the same team as before. Shocking comments by both the outgoing President of Luziyca and the leader of the Christian Luziycan Party had fueled tensions, and the rioting in both South and North Qianrong over the basically overkill win against South Qianrong had killed over 1,000 people and lead to the storming of the Luziycan Embassy in Yucheng.

Now, Alicia wants to contribute to this circling world of madness, adding wood, kerosene, and gasoline to the already out of control bonfire by releasing a televised address basically giving her blessing to the Kenyen Fighters to trample over any opposition by overkilling the goal count. How does this help the Luziycan football image, I may ask? NOTHING. I have seen barely any compassion for the people being brutally kicked and shunned by angry folks, including Qianrong storming the embassy and racist Nevan fans attempting to strangle Litorean supporters in Resudden. Instead they concentrate on the end prize and ditch the sympathy out the window.

I wonder why she wanted the whole of South Velkia against us? Oh wait, most likely to reinforce how they are better than everyone else since Scotia is at the bottom of the table and Namor pulled out in protest.

How heartless can you be? I ask you in the nicest of terms as the whole region is asking why are you so BLOODY callous and cold about events triggered by solely by Luziycan comments and fans, with the worst coming from the President himself, saying that SISQ Vice-President and former FDRQ Chancellor Song Li-Chao and the extension whole country had no testicles, and when Song called him out, he just mockingly joked about it on Twitter. WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, LUZIYCA!? Are you that determined to win the cup that you had to demean, insult, and not care for people that you triggered? Are you so cold that you want the whole world to hate you? Holy cheeseballs.

I honestly hope you get the glasses off and see the whole world for yourself, Kung Alicia, then you can get off you high horse and see the world like everyone else is.

Jason Tealon
Waterwitt Leader Contributor

Matchday CdE V - December 18, 2015: Luziyca vs Daecon at 10 pm DAST, on DFRT Sport 1.

All opinions in this article are of the contributor himself, not of the Waterwitt Leader.

About me · by **Luziyca** » Fri Dec 18, 2015 10:09 am

The most violent international football competition I have ever seen in my life

Luziycan Football Association President Isaac Dobrev

BETHLEHEM, F.C. - With so much criticism being leveled towards the Luziycan national team over the past week, combined with the riots that have occurred in Qianrong after the Luziycan victory over the Qianrongese team, the riots in Kraq, the terrorist attacks in Francilie and to some extent in Lyonsland following the Litorean victory over Nevanmaa, Luziycan Football President Isaac Dobrev has stated that "this is the most violent international football competition I have ever seen in my life."

"I am shocked and appalled by the rioting that is taking place," he explained to reporters at a press conference. "This is supposed to be a sport that brings unity, that creates friendships, and brings a lot of support. Instead, this Chaska i Esquarium has resulted in so much violence: we got Qianrongese rioting over our victory on the first matchday, and to some extent, Kraq as well."
"Then with Litorea winning, there have been calls to kill the [Nevan] lion," he continued. "I am in full support of it, and as a matter of fact, I would like to convince EFA to expel Nevanmaa in light of their racial laws, their support of the Lecistani regime, and their support of the racist Arnborgese regime."

With a sigh, he said that "For the situation with Qianrong, we may have overkilled the southern Qianrongese team. There have been many problems, many issues with Luziyca in the past, so this victory that we had was like adding salt to a wound. That being said, the loss to us is not an excuse to hold diplomatic workers hostage, let alone kill the pregnant ambassador, and I fully condemn that particular breach of diplomatic immunity. For the Nevanmaa, to use the most polite language, fuck 'em."

When asked about the op-ed by the Waterwitt Leader, he answered, "Firstly, it is not 'Is the Daeconese Rangers the only one who could beat the formidable Nantai Fighters?' It is 'Are the Daeconese Rangers the only one who could beat the formidable Nantai Fighters?'
With laughter from the audience, he explained "Secondly, we are not. While many fans, including the outgoing President, who I am very disappointed with for his comments that may have helped spur this crisis on, have demeaned and insulted their fans, the Fighters are fighting to ensure that they will win, but they will do so in good faith."

In other news
Bethlehem - Svensson announces Svensson doctrine: a radical shift in Luziycan foreign policy
Saibeland - Riots break out in Karlsburg
CdE V - Security on high alert
Nantai - Kung Alicia to attempt to boost morale

by **Britanno 2** » Fri Dec 18, 2015 10:45 am

Insurgent candidates get big boosts following stormy debate
Ilbert, Billah and Logan all chip away at support for mainstream nominees

Freedom Party leader and presidential candidate Herman Ilbert

The three outsider candidates for President have all received large boosts in their support following strong showings in the first presidential debate. Herman Ilbert, the Freedom Party candidate, Natasha Billah, running on a joint Green-Socialist ticket, and Anthony Logan, an independent, all came out of the debate in strong shape while the two favourites, Alison Browne and Nicolas Joyce, faced attacks from all sides.

A post-debate poll showed Browne still ahead but on 24% support, a drop of 13 points, followed by Joyce on 21% (down 10), Ilbert on 19% (up 5), Billah on 16% (up 3) and Logan on 15% (up 11), with 4% undecided and a further 1% choosing 'other'. At the debate, the three minor candidates barely clashed and instead focused their attacks on Browne, who is running for the SDP and Social Liberals, and Joyce, the candidate of the Conservatives, Christian Democrats and Liberal Alliance.

Natasha Billah was the first to fire shots, accusing Browne's SDP of "betraying their voters and values" in the search for power, insisting that she was the only "real progressive" in the race. On the right, Herman Ilbert's fiery anti-immigration rhetoric struck a chord with many and he attacked Nicolas Joyce throughout the evening, questioning his business ties and commitment to "those outside the establishment bubble". As Browne and Joyce struggled to counterattack, Anthony Logan, an independent lawyer running on a centrist platform, appealed to moderate voters in a pitch to hold the centre ground and force the two favourites to more radical positions.

The debate has opened the race completely, with competition for the two places in the second round at an all time high. It had been assumed that Browne and Joyce would fight the main battle of the election in the second round, but the first round is now wide open, with bookies slashing the odds of Billah, Ilbert and Logan. The presidency, while mainly ceremonial, holds potential consequences for leaders of all parties. Prime Minister Marcus Browning had hoped the election would be used to gain momentum after a recovery for the Conservatives in recent opinion polls, while it is the first election to be contested with Leanne Jensen as SDP leader. Neither can afford to be seen in a weak position, BNB political correspondent Carol Walt reported, but going into the first round neither party looks stable or confident of success.

Other News

Sport - Royals face Ocelot Isles after disappointing losses against Kraq and Francilie meant Britanno can't qualify.
Britanno - Heavy rainfall and strong winds cut off power to thousands in north of the country.
Esquarian Community - Britanno among several countries to shoot down Michillian-backed Aininian proposal of military pact.

by **The Republic of Lanos** » Fri Dec 18, 2015 12:53 pm

*retconned*

by **Osonia** » Fri Dec 18, 2015 1:53 pm

((OOC note: El Sol returns, and with it the disclaimer that this ISN'T what the majority of Osonians actually believe.

Also, I know that the Georgian claimants no longer have a government-in-exile (mostly because Odissia's a monarchy now, and Michillies retconned the whole Coup of Fire thing), but just letting them stay in Nevanmaa still constitutes their continued support for the Osonian ultranationalist demographic that reads this paper.))

17 deciembre, 2015

Double Victory for the People: Osonia beats insignificant nation, while Nevan devils get slaughtered 3-1

The Nevan "Lions" look in despair as Litorea rightly beats them 3-1

GRONBIS/REUSDDEN, LYONSLAND - If you are an Osonian living in the Fatherland and across the world, then this is a time to rejoice, for two great events in the history of football have happened in the fifth Coupe d'Esquarium in Lyonsland. First is our team's victory in the second game against an insignificant nation dubbed "Atlantia Creek" (which we can't really find on the map), putting us ever closer to entering the Round of 16 and going toe to toe against every nation out there for the ultimate prize. The second is just as significant: against all odds, the Polos of Litorea, with the backing of almost everyone else on Earth, have triumphed over the hated Nevan "Satanic Lions" 3-1, rendering God's rightful judgement on those pretentious pricks, compounding the Nevans' extremely miserable year exemplified by its being booted out from NOSDO and their increasingly tenuous hold over the regimes in Lecistan and Arnborg.

The match in Gronbis between Les Crocuses Porpres and that insignificant micronatipn is by no means one of the greatest achievements we have ever done in the history of football, aside from our opener against fellow debutante Dolfradia. Despite everyone seeming to write this off as a victory for them, it took three of our strikers Benêtes e Blanxart, Durant Êpinosa, and team captain Pujol de Montanhs to weave their way past the Atlantican defense and score an amazing seven goals. And while this Jason Gull managed to scone one goal at the 32nd minute, the Osonian defense played admirably in the face of it all to ensure there weren't any goals after that, with goalkeep Lhuís Pavel de Lhobregat. While we still have two games ahead of us, with first the Walmish Classicals, and later the Nevan puppets in Filimons, we are certain that if we could beat a team they thought was invincible, we can certainly do anything.

As we have stated first, the Nevans' crimes and other skeletons-in-the-closet are all visible for everyone to see. They oppress and outright kill anyone who is not like them, be it blacks, women, gays, or republicans. They have sheltered the hated Georgian dogs since they fled in the Second Great War, where they continued to lay claim on our Fatherland and refuse to confess to their crimes against the Osonian people and nation. And for years, they have tried to export their murderous ideology of fanatical totalitarian monarchism, rampant racism, and global domination, across the world, be it in the genocidal conflict Lecistan or in Arnborg. So we are grateful then that God has rendered his judgement on them through this righteous victory by our brother peoples in Litorea. Though the Litoreans are not exactly big fans of the beautiful game as much as we do, their unique culture brought on by the Michillians to the north and the skill of its players who brought down the Scotian team 5-0 in the opening match, not to mention the overwhelming support from the rest of the world, have allowed this multiracial team of blacks, whites, and coloureds to utterly humiliate the Lions and their supporters, who this paper believes were forced to support their team on pain of being hung, drawn, and quartered.

So there you have it. Two victories for the Osonian people and all mankind in a single day in Lyonsland. So, enjoy.

by **Namor** » Fri Dec 18, 2015 2:21 pm

CenCo passes Nantai Act despite objections from hard right
Bill's passage facilitated by support from some New Democrats
Huan An urges Fu to veto act, calling it "an assault on détente"

December 18, NMR 2377

92 DAYS
until NMR 2378
presidential election

NAMO, CAPITAL DISTRICT - With 1,614 votes in favor, 901 against and 25 abstentions and nine absences, the Nantai Act introduced by Tao James was passed by the Central Council and is now pending approval by the President-General.

The Nantai Act was debated by members of the entire Central Council after it passed the CenCo's Legislative Cadre on Nantai Reunification. The left-wing parties and the People's First Coalition have spent the past few days consolidating support for the bill, which aims to "clarify" the Namorese government's stance on the status of occupied Nantai. On the other side, the governing New Democrats urged the CenCo to vote against the Act, warning of its effects on Namo-Luziycan relations.

New Democratic deputy Huan An led a failed attempt to block the CenCo from voting on the bill, delivering a long speech in which he compared the Act's supporters to anti-Luziycan rioters in Qianrong. The 53 minute filibuster fell apart when Huan agreed to hand the floor over to a fellow New Democratic deputy who was at the restroom. Due to the deputy's absence, a Liberationist deputy who was last on the speaker's list took the floor. Huan An looked on helplessly as members voted in favor of the bill - among them some establishment New Democrats.

Coming out of the CenCo after it adjourned for the evening, Huan An told the press he was "a bit angered" by the passage of the Nantai Act, and called on President-General Fu Wen to veto it.

"It's not just myself who's asking the President-General to take a stand. The people of Nantai are asking him to do so, too," he said. "He is, really, the last line of hope. This is an assault on [Namo-Luziycan] détente, and we must defeat it."

Huan also berated CenCo New Democrats who voted for the act.

"This is a stab in the back," he said.

Responding to Huan and like-minded New Democrats, Deputy Tao James said he "fails to see" how the act will negatively impact Namo-Luziycan efforts at resolving the question of occupied Nantai.

"The people of Nantai actually support this bill because they've been longing for the government to clarify its stance. There's nothing wrong in being categorical," Tao said.

Explaining his decision to vote in favor of the Nantai Act, deputy Ge Jinsha, who was among the New Democrats who voted for the legislation, said the bill does not pose a threat to relations with Luziyca.

"I can assure you as a New Democrat that this is nothing new or dangerous. The Act voices support for the October Consensus, and we're delighted to hear that the mainstream left supports the Consensus as we do. I'm sure Deputy Huan supports the October Consensus too, but he has some objections to a few minor aspects of the bill itself, something that isn't uncommon around here. You're always going to have certain legislators who vote against something because of that."

The President-General has yet to respond to the Nantai Act, although he is expected to do so now that the Act will reach his desk.

"An act to clarify the stance taken by the Government of the People's Republic of Namor in regards to the question surrounding the occupied parts of Nantai Prefecture, West Namor" was introduced to the CenCo by Tao James and co-sponsored by a handful of other left-wing legislators, including Liberationist deputy and presidential candidate Shohai Antelope.

It states that under the definition of occupied Nantai's status as determined by the October 7 Consensus between Namorese President-General Fu Wen and Luziycan President Breuvi Shjoraski, Luziyca has "administrative rights" to occupied Nantai whereas sovereignty over the territory belongs to Namor, which "reserves the right to determine the ultimate status of its territory, and the means by which such a status is determined."

The act also guaranteed occupied Nantai a "high degree of autonomy" should it be returned to Namor and listed the conditions that render efforts at peaceful reunification "impossible."

Other News
CdE V - Kenyen, Nantai leads Group in CdE
Deaths from Qianrong football riots believed to have exceeded a thousand: sources - Sources say the riots in Qianrong in reaction to South Qianrong's 3-7 loss to the Kenyen Fighters have caused over a thousand deaths. The Qianrongese government is in the process of negotiating with rioters who took over a hundred Luziycan embassy staff hostage.
ELECTION '78 Arrows vs. Yellows - What you need to know about the upcoming elections in Namor.

by **Korivania** » Fri Dec 18, 2015 5:34 pm

Crolacia defeats ShadowEagles 2-0; Ends winning streak

Crolacia won this match

Fygrett, Lyonsland Tonight, tragedy struck the ShadowEagles as the Crolacian team won in a 2-0 victory that surprised everyone. Most people expected this to be a very narrow victory, or at least a draw. But instead of the results that anyone expected, the Crolacian team utterly defeated the ShadowEagles, two to nothing.

The game started out with a long stalemate between both teams, but the Crolacian offense was quite strong. It was enough to catch the Korivanian ShadowEagles off-guard and as a result, the Crolacian team won with two points, and the ShadowEagles not even getting one point. We had a meeting over the phone with Team Korivania manager, Matthew Konikalaj on this matter. He stated "I don't know how that happened! We were doing so well. Maybe the Crolacian team managed to get more practice in them, I don't know what went wrong!" After a long period of rambling and smashing things in his office, it appears that he calmed down and stated that "It could possibly be because that unlike our team, which this Coupe d'Esquarium is their first, the Crolacian team has more experience in this type of football match, and thus kicked our asses in this match".

But there is actually some good news. This match is not our last match, and two days from now we will be going up against the team from Masseau, who though have done quite well in the past Coupe d'Esquarium games, they have been very lacking and have not done well in the Coupe d'Esquarium V, and due to this, we may have a large chance of beating them, and then advancing forward.

Other Articles:

- Nevanmaa - Lions win the match after the one where they were defeated by those they called inferior
- Edi Badar - Pervert Castle Party member is out on bail (again)
- Korivania - Lack of rioting is quite present

by **Versant Plateaus** » Fri Dec 18, 2015 10:01 pm

HM Prince Signs Decree to Support Expulsion of Nevanmaa from NOSDO
Prime Minister and HRH Loyal Opposition Leader Agree to Decree as Royal Council is Prorogued for Christmas

HRH Prince Ludwig-Alexsans IV speaking to media
at the Casteliâ de le Principe in Hamlen

HAMLEN, DUCHY OF HAMLEN -- His Royal Highness Prince Ludwig-Alexsans IV of Versant Plateaus has promulgated a decree supporting the explusion of Nevanmaa from the troubled Northern Sea Defence Organisation (NOSDO). This decree was supported by both Prime Minister Carles Roberte of the Labour-Agrarian Party and Opposition Leader Paul Macsault of the Democratic Leninist Party, who called upon the Prince to act as the Royal Council had recently been prorogued for Christmas and would only meet again in March 2016. This move comes after months of manoeuvering in NOSDO to expel the controversial Nevan Realm, accused of fanning conflict in South Conitia and crimes against humanity for its racial laws against Nautasian-ethnic people, known in Nevanmaa by the derogatory term of Northern Negroes. Versant Plateaus has been put under intense pressure from human rights groups both domestically and internationally as its vote in favour of expulsion would lead to quorum being reached and Nevanmaa's unceremonious exit.

PM Roberte told the Hamlen Observer that "the time has come. We cannot stand any longer as the Nevan barbarians tear Nordanian unity apart." Opposition Leader Macsault agreed, calling Nordanian tolerance of Nevan participation in its affairs "a dark mark on our continent's history and development."

A recent Observer poll conducted via telephone showed that only 37% of Versans had a favourable or very favourable opinion of Nevanmaa, and that a majority of 52% had a negative or strongly negative opinion. The remainder had no opinion or were undecided. Last Wednesday, over 300 activists of the Human Rights League of Versant Plateaus, the oldest non-governmental organisation (NGO) in the country, conducted a sit-in on Hamlen's largest artery road, the Aveno de le Principe. The move, which blocked traffic for hours in the heart of the capital's central business district, was met with widespread public support and copycat acts have occured in all three duchies of the Principality.

Police sources have revealed that a Molotov cocktail was thrown at the Nevan ambassador's residence yesterday night, as part of a general wave of public anger against Nevan intervention in South Conitia and its unilateral actions that have put off its NOSDO allies, including its historically primary ally of Vjaarland.

The decree comes into law on December 21.

by **The Republic of Lanos** » Sat Dec 19, 2015 1:54 pm

National Broadcasting System
Lanos National News

Lanos applies to NOSDO

The Republic of Lanos has filed an application to join the Northern Sea Defense Organization (NOSDO) shortly after the NOSDO ejection of founding member Nevanmaa. An attempt to join in 2001 failed because of Nevanmaa's rejection on the grounds of "antiracism" but was refiled this year after the recent ejection of the racist Nevan state. The country now awaits for the other seven NOSDO members to decide whether Lanos joins the alliance.

Salbeiland goes to hell, Lanos takes notice

In the meantime, Lanos' neighbor Salbeiland has descended into open civil war. As a result of the violence and the potential for it to spill into Lanos, the Department of Public Safety has ordered extra deployment of the Border Police, National Police, and other security forces along the border with Salbeiland. Governors of states that border Salbeiland have also mobilized their State Militia contingents to conduct border security. Maddeningly for federal authorities, several bands of private citizens have reportedly engaged in straw purchases of firearms and engaged in gunrunning operations. These weapons, mostly automatic rifles and handguns, are purchased easily in Lanosian gun shops and are not covered by the restricted weapons license requirement. These weapons purchases in straw purchases are then smuggled across the border to Salbeiland either via the ports of entry (if they are still open) or over the border itself illegally. While the National Police is attempting to stop the operations, it is not expected to make major progress as the civil war in Salbeiland progresses and arms remain in great demand. As one National Police officer expert on firearms noted: "Lanos has and always will remain a freely-armed nation. Whether or not other nations like our gun rights is not for debate. Salbeiland may not like what's going on but they should have been free to start with. Lanos, on its end, will do whatever it can to ensure people remain above the law regarding the gunrunning operations."

Stay tuned.

by **Nordluund** » Sat Dec 19, 2015 1:59 pm

Daelposten
Sandersen: Barholm to step down

19th November 2015 18:53 NST

MÜNHAVEN - Liberal Chief Whip Emil Sandersen has today confirmed reports of leader and current Nordish president Morten Barholm stepping down from both roles, with a presidential election to be held in January 2016, a year after SDLP's Marc den Lind was elected Prime Minister.

It is still unclear why Barholm is making the decision to step down one year into his second tenure, with the Liberal party and the House of Representatives refusing to shed any further light on the issue for the time being. What the Liberal party have stated though, is that they are to hold a quick election to determine the new leader of the party, with Sandersen, vice-president Martin Lindhoüser, Jakob Barstein and Linda Barlo all leading candidates for the vacancy. The latter three are all Minister of Defence, Minister of Interior and Minister without Portfolio in the cabinet respectively, with Lindhoüser also vice president.

Though things are taking a dramatic turn in Lindersande Street. Conservative MP Pir Karlsen-Muller has publicly slammed the Liberal government for "disrupting parliamentary schedules" and "ruining what was already a good political flow." Though Karlsen-Muller did admit, it would be a good opportunity for the Conservatives to work their way back into power. Political commentators like Nathaniel Eriksen-Sorensen, Sofja Eriksen and Martin Johansen have also stated their surprise at the decision made by Barholm.

Barholm has been described as a "solid president, yet unspectular." In response to being called "dull" by Erik Andersen, he famously replied "Well what did you expect me to do? Come into Parliament in a clown costume?" He is credited with actively encouraging Nordlund into organisations such as NOSDO and the Esquarian Community, with both he and Prime Minister and SDLP leader Marc den Lind eager to get the country into both.

About me · by **Luziyca** » Sat Dec 19, 2015 3:27 pm

Protests at 40-meter telescope groundbreaking ceremony

James Poriro

HOYBERG, AGATETERRA - Today, as the University of Strendhavn began to break ground for the 40-meter telescope in a ceremony attended by Dean Alfred Lang and Mediator Isaiah Kaipamu, thirty-eight protesters led by James Poriro blocked the road leading up to the site on the summit of Mt. Sotirov, at 1,618m, nearly as tall as Mount St. Agatha in the northwest.

James Poriro, an activist from Storegavan explained to reporters in a letter that "we are conducting the protests because we have not been consulted on the construction of a telescope on Tihete (Mt. Sotirov), which is a sacred site in traditional Tangata religion prior to the arrival of the Pakeha (whites) to Whitinga (St. Agatha's). They did not consult the Tangata, and they have failed to address any environmental concerns that this observatory might provide. Thus, we are forced to be protectors of the mountain until our grievances have been addressed."

Poriro and the other thirty-seven protesters were arrested by local police, with nineteen to be tried under Vjaarlandic law, and the other nineteen protesters to be tried under Luziycan law, including James Poriro. The groundbreaking ceremony went on as planned.

Mediator Isaiah Kaipamu explained to reporters after the end of the ceremony that "contrary to Tangata claims, we have made full review for environmental impacts and it will have a minimal impact on the environment of Mt. Sotirov. As for it being a sacred site, or riria, there are only a handful of believers of traditional Tangata religion: certainly not enough to ban construction. The 40-meter telescope will go on as planned."

The Dean of the University of Strendhavn offered no comment.

However, there was criticism of the arrests: Arnold Poriro, brother of James Poriro said at a protest rally in Storegavan that "these arrests are unjust: the real criminals are those who decided to refuse to recognize the sacred status of Tihete, and accepted the observatory without considering the rights of Tangata to the land and the environmental impacts."

Arnold Poriro told the participants, "Some of us may tell us that this land has been terra nullius, but the truth is that the colonial courts in 1993 decided that when they arrived, the land was terra nullius. We had a civilization, we had leadership, and we used the land prior to the arrival of the Pakeha. They need to negotiate with the iwi, especially if are on sacred spots."

Another participant, Emily Grigorov told reporters "if we do not recognize native rights to the land, there may be problems in the future. It is better to solve them now, but time is ticking, and it could very well run out."

More as the story develops.

by **The Ocelot Isles** » Sat Dec 19, 2015 6:18 pm

Keep up with the Ocelotian Gazette for CdE V updates! Click here.
CdE IV A matchday that all Ocelotians can be proud of - and will make us wonder about what's next

Josef Hammock is back! That's right, I am back to talk more about CdE V stuff, especially as we are approaching the last group stage matches before we move on to the Group of 16. Matchday Five will determine who gets to move on (some teams already won enough to guarantee them a place) and who gets to be packing. As a result there's more predictions about who the other survivors will be. So far the countries that will certainly proceed are Crolacia, Osonia, Litorea, Nevanmaa, and - God almighty - Luziyca.

Even more God almighty is the fact that Ziegenhain will also move on, defying speculation that Pavonistade will take top spot. But before I talk more carp, let's talk about how we overcame Kraq. Ocelotians know that both the Ocelots and the Sand Dragons played ferociously yesterday, yet we ultimately emerged as victors as Patrik Sonna - who had the honor of receiving a yellow card for tripping a Sand Dragon - scored in the 80th minute. That victory pushed the Ocelot Isles to first place in the Group of Death, something that the bitter Brits had definitely not been expecting. Note that we don't have a guarantee to move on, like Nevanmaa or Litorea.

Even though we are in first place and we guaranteed Kraq their elimination, that situation may very well change when the Ocelots face the Britannon Royals and the Sand Dragons clash with the Redheads. In our match with the Royals, even an Ocelotian defeat cannot matter much as the Royals are slated for elimination anyways. As for the Kraq-Vyvland match, it is difficult to tell who will win; this is because both teams happen to have mediocre performance and it is easily assumed that one will beat the other by a margin. We may not be so lucky tomorrow but at least we get a chance to break out of group stage.

If we advance to Group of 16 as the winner of Group C, we will have to face the runner-up of Group D. The group consists of Crolacia, one of the countries assured to play in the Group of 16, and Korivania, the runner-up if we do not consider the matches tomorrow and any related possibilities. Crolacia did lose one match but has otherwise performed well in its other matches, while Korivania is not a team to mess with despite having debuted in the coup.

Keeping current circumstances, we will face Korivania should we win. Crolacia will be our opponent if we somehow become runners-up, which is definitely something to watch out for.

As usual it would be standard for us Ocelotians to talk about what happens to our neighbor Pavonistade. It is in third place of Group C, where first place belongs to Ziegenhain and North Qianrong is the runner-up. The Pavonistade Fearless were magnificent in the previous CdE but, to me, it is now doubtful that it will make it to the Group of 16. Sure, Pavonistade may win its match against Atlantica, but a very likely North Qianrongese victory in its match with East Cortoguay would affirm North Qianrong's chance to get to the Group of 16. Since it would take alien space bats or a miracle to help the East Cortoguayans, I imagine that the Fearless would be left with their tickets home.

Conclusion? The Ocelot Isles has a good probability of making it out of the group stage unlike the previous CdE, but Pavonistade isn't so lucky. If we move on it would be absolutely imperative that we gear up for all teams that will challenge us on our way to championship. Hopefully when the Pavonistadians are packing, they'll send whatever Jopj gods or goddesses they have to bless us in future matches.

The article by Josef Hammock does not represent the views of the Ocelotian Gazette and the MAgical Revolutionary Genesis on Atrocities and Real Excitements in Tournaments.

Other News
CdE V | The so-called beauty of surprises and upsets in the international tournament
Slurs | Kongeuvian elder tries to explain why the word "Namster" is not an offensive slur
Cuisines | Pavonistadian kiwano dish grabs attention in the Ocelot Isles

by **Korivania** » Sat Dec 19, 2015 7:07 pm

Redemption or Damnation: The upcoming match against Masseau and what to expect

Korivania vs. Masseau

Fygrett, Lyonsland It is no secret that yesterday, we were defeated by the Crolacian team, and as a result, our chances of going on and winning have seriously been put in jeopardy. However, we still do have a shot at getting to win and go on to the next round. This chance will be given to us when we take on the Massean team tomorrow night. Now, the question remains: how will the ShadowEagles do against the Massean team. Here is our analysis:

Masseau has had experience with the past few CdE's before this one, and may have more experience in this type of game. But in this years Coupe d'Esquarium, Masseau has done quite poorly, and has scored below even Montezelo, the debuting nation which the ShadowEagles beat in their first Coupe d'Esquarium match. Yesterday however, they managed to win a match in this years game. Still though, the Massean team is still doing quite poorly, especially when compared to the Crolacian, Korivanian, and Montezelan teams. But on the bright side for the Massean team, they have done better than the Vitorian team (which although eliminated, is still scheduled to play the Montezelan Thunder Warriors), and that they have done better than they did in Coupe d'Esquarium IV. In order to keep second place, the minimum result must be "Masseau 1-0 Korivania." Although a Massean victory is unlikely, it still is a possibility. In order to surpass Crolacia in terms of points, the ShadowEagles must gain at least four points, which would give the ShadowEagles a total of ten points. But since surpassing Crolacia in terms of points is unlikely, let's get back on topic, and talk about the chances of defeating Masseau.

Regarding the points listed above, it appears that the ShadowEagles will definitely defeat the Massean team, but the match has not started yet, and we will not surely know who will win, until the match which takes place tomorrow.

Other Articles:

- Josef Hammock - Ocelotian talks more about CdE V
- Edi Badar - fellow Castle Party members call for member to resign position as party head
- Lanos - Artisian country applies for NOSDO membership

by **Vajorr** » Sat Dec 19, 2015 10:05 pm

BREAKING: NATIONALRAT VOTES TO APPLY FOR NOSDO MEMBERSHIP.
With Nevanmaa’s ejection, the PM states “the door is open” for membership.

NEW HAUSTAD - Vajorr officially submitted its application for North Sea Defense Organisation (NOSDO) membership today ending week long speculation. Prime Minister stated her intent for Vajorr to join the organisation if Nevanmma were to be ejected. With the ejection looking likely, the Liberals are free to push for membership without any significant backlash. It signals a continuing major shift in Vajorrian foreign policy, away from its isolationism to potential interventionism

The Nationalrat voted 382 to 118 in favour of applying to NOSDO late today. The government parties; the Liberals and Conservatives as well as the supporting parties Christians and the New Democrats all voted in for it. The opposition, the Democratic Left, signalled a free vote leaving the decisions to their own members. Only the National League signaled its members to vote against the proposal. The Prime Minister in a speech stated that "with Nevanmaa's ejection, the door is open for Vajorr's ascension to NOSDO. This is a great opportunity for Vajorr to be more involved." Majority leader Norbert Lammert (LP) congratulated the outcome of the vote stating, “This is a new era of foreign policy for Vajorr. The isolationist policy of Kohl, while beneficial at the time, restricted us. This is a good step in making Vajorr a larger power on the world stage” Opposition Minority Leader Peter Hintze agreed with him, although more tentatively. “We believe that Vajorr’s application to NOSDO will be beneficial to us in helping to make Vajorr more relavant. However the Social Democrats prefer to not get entangled in international agreements at the start.” The isolationist policy in place since the 1970s has been slowly unraveling since Vajorr’s actions in the Lecistani crisis.

Other News

NOSDO: Lanos applies for membership.
CdE V: Follow upcoming games and other news here.
Vajorr: Prime Minister to not station more troops in Michillies.
Elections 2016: Federal parties begin preparations for the upcoming Nationalrat elections.
Namor: The country’s legislature passes the Nantai Act, which aims to “clarify” Namor’s stance over Nantai.

by **Vjaarland** » Sun Dec 20, 2015 1:18 am

BREAKING NEWS: Vjaarland and Ziegenhain at War
Military action authorized following coordinated attacks on warship, commercial jet

The VMS Hans Adlerfelt listing to port, photographed
from a Vjaarlandic Navy search and rescue helicopter

STRENDHAVN -- The Førbundsting has authorized military action against Ziegenhain after two coordinated strikes on a Vjaarlandic Navy destroyer and Aucurian Airlines commercial jet killed at least 216.

According to Vjaarlandic government sources, a Ziegenian warship operating in the Northern Sea opened fire on Aucurian Airlines Flight 118 late yesterday evening, killing all 127 passengers and crew members on board. The VMS Hans Adlerfelt, a Gustaav Krigstad class destroyer in service with the Vjaarlandic Navy, was sunk by a Ziegenian submarine in international waters minutes later, taking the lives of at least 89 of the ship’s 300 sailors.

Ziegenian Chancellor Markus Knauth claimed responsibility for the strikes in a speech to the Reichstag mere hours after the attacks concluded, confirming that “Aucurian Airlines Flight 118 did not disappear without cause. Nor did the Vjaarlandic warship the Hans Alderfelt. It was I who ordered their destruction as a testament to the Reich's willingness to show our enemies we are not a joke for them to mock.”

In an unprecedented address from Gunnarsenvejen, President Freja Adlerberg denounced the attacks as an “act of war” against the Vjaarlandic Confederation. “Last night, the world was shaken by an unprovoked and heinous act of war by the oppressive Ziegenian regime. Today, I call upon the Vjaarlandic people, and indeed the world, to stand strong. While uncertain times lie ahead, we shall never back down while our free and democratic way of life is threatened, no matter how great the foe.”

The President declared a national state of emergency, and requested the immediate activation of all Militia forces and reserve units. Adlerberg also invoked the Northern Sea Defense Treaty, which requires all NOSDO member states to treat an attack upon one member state as an attack upon the entire organization.

The President's speech was followed by the convening of an emergency session of the Førbundsting later on Sunday. In a unanimous 587-0 vote with no abstentions, the legislature passed a resolution authorizing “all necessary military action” and giving the President "the full approval of the Førbundsting to conduct combat operations against Ziegenhain and its allies."

All civilians are urged to shelter in place immediately and follow any instructions from local authorities. VRT will continue to keep you informed as the story develops.

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by **Ainin** » Sun Dec 20, 2015 6:00 am

Home » News » Funny
▍ Customs Officials Arrest Nautaryan Man Attempting to Enter Ainin with a Death Certificate as his ID
▍ USED A FORGED DEATH CERTIFICATE MADE OUT TO A "JEAN JEANJEAN", WHO SUPPOSEDLY DIED ON FEBRUARY 31, 1988

BEAUREPAIRE - This is not satire.

Customs officers at Beaurepaire-Samuel Enstate International Airport got quite a laugh on Saturday when an East Nautaryan man that arrived in Ainin onboard Al-Naut Arab Airlines Flight 502 approached the screening desk and was asked for valid identification. Instead of presenting a passport and visa, he gave them a crudely-forged death certificate. Apart from the absurd premise that a living person would own a death certificate in his own name, even the ID itself proved to be a sad joke.

The death certificate, crudely made using digital drawing software and printed on A4 printer paper, was made out to the fictional 'Jean Jeanjean', a man who was supposedly born in 1922 in Christiana, United Republics and died on, and get this, February 31, 1988. For those of you unfamiliar with the Gregorian calendar, the month of February only has 28 days (29 on leap years). Instead of simply calling out his obvious fraud and arresting him, however, the customs officer had some fun. He kept the man at the desk for five minutes, asking him absurd questions about his trip and identification and demanding to know the length of his nose for a "medical form." When he was done with his fun, he summoned two gendarmes who promptly arrested the man for passport fraud.

He was taken to the Saint-Jean-des-Monts detention centre, an 8,000-bed processing centre for apprehended illegal immigrants, and has been scheduled for deportation back to Saint Martin, East Nautarya on January 5, 2016.

A spokesman for Immigration and Customs Security declined comment on the matter, citing privacy concerns.

by **Namor** » Sun Dec 20, 2015 8:32 am

Did Huan An just start the Third Great War?
Ziegenhain's dictator wants to refute the claim that the Triumvirate's threats are "political rhetoric," but who made that claim?
Наморайин | English

Analysts say Ziegenian chancellor Markus Knauth was quoting New Democratic
frontrunner Huan An (pictured) verbatim.

STRENDHAVN, VJAARLAND | December 20, NMR 2377 What was once known as the "place where nothing happens" may become the battleground of a global conflict unseen in decades. Ziegenhain and Vjaarland are officially at war - this follows coordinated attacks on a Vjaarlandic warship and an Aucurian passenger jet. Ziegenian chancellor Markus Knauth claimed responsibility for both attacks: "Recently, I have received word that certain elements abroad think of us as nothing more than political rhetoric. My friends, I believe it is time for us to show them what kind of political rhetoric this Reich is capable of!"

Soon after the announcement was made, attentive analysts wanted to know who the "certain elements" mentioned by Knauth were. Lo and behold, one of them may be New Democratic presidential candidate Huan An, who used the words "political rhetoric" to describe the Triumvirate's threats during the THDB New Democratic debate.

During the debate, Huan was asked to respond to other New Democrats who say his support for reducing the size of the military and armed police would jeopardize Namor's national security.

To this, Huan claimed that a "rapidly changing international situation" allows Namor to relax its military spending.

"Our neighbors have grown less bellicose. There is no credible threat posed to us by the [Txotai] separatists anymore. The Triumvirate's threats are nothing but political rhetoric," he said.

Few expected Ziegenhain's reclusive leaders to watch the New Democratic debate or pay attention to what the candidates were saying, and it's unlikely Knauth will clarify who the "certain elements" are. But it's equally unlikely Knauth's emphasis on the words "political rhetoric" and Huan An's earlier use of the same words to describe the Triumvirate were coincidental.

"He [Knauth] was definitely referring to somebody, and Huan was the only one who said, unambiguously, that the Triumvirate's threats are nothing but political rhetoric. So I would imagine the Ziegenians were offended by someone, and that someone is Huan An," international affairs commentator Yi Peng said. "Of course, we must keep in mind that Huan isn't the only person in Namor, much less Esquarium, who believes the Triumvirate's words speak louder than its actions."

Approached by the press while walking out of a rally in Ngam, Khao, Huan An said he is "unaware" of what Knauth said or who Knauth was allegedly referring to.

"I don't know what you're talking about, thank you," Huan said before slipping away.

A spokesperson for Huan's campaign later told the Liberator that Huan wasn't the only Namorese politician to downplay the Triumvirate's threat.

"He was just being honest. If you look at the WNTV debate, Tao James also said the Triumvirate won't be messing with other countries because it's insecure from within. I'd love it if the media can talk about that."

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President-General to react to Nantai Act | Kenyen team exceeds expectations, makes it to top of Group G | Vjaarland and Ziegenhain "at war" | With Nevanmaa out of NOSDO, numerous countries filling in the void | OPINION: Namor may not be involved in Nordania's troubles, but it must still stay vigilant

by **The Ocelot Isles** » Sun Dec 20, 2015 6:52 pm

Keep up with the Ocelotian Gazette for CdE V updates! Click here.
CdE IV Round of 16: What lies ahead for the Ocelot Isles

Round of 16 matches, December 22

This was it: the final group stage matches were finished and most Esquarians (apart from the Ziegenians who are about to fight some Vjaars) knew who the winners and losers were. Many were upset that feared countries like Vyvland and Pavonistade plunged, as overlooked countries like Ziegenhain and Litorea continue rising. It was dead obvious before today that many unexpected outcomes occurred and that spectators were far more violent than in the previous CdE. But as the Ocelot Isles and fifteen other countries advance closer to the finals, now is the time to prepare for our next match and guess as what truly is ahead.

Certainly we can laugh at skeptical Britannons, who earlier wrote that "the Ocelot Isles won't progress unless they pull out some big surprises" in a BNB article, and who wrote the Ocelots off more notoriously than other nationalities in the Group of Death. The Ocelots went on to draw with the Redheads and beat the three other teams, most recently the Royals, who lost 0-1 to us as Yanick Schmitt booted the football at the 83rd minute past goalkeeper Tyler Berry.

Now they were big surprises, weren't they? In addition the Vyvlanders informed that Britanno and Vyvland must win, with the latter also having to attain a higher goal difference than us (improbable) in order for us to lose the Group of Death. Not only did Britanno lose, Vyvland also lost 0-1 to Kraq today, assuring that the three countries will be knocked out before the Round of 16. All that leaves other than the Ocelots is runner-up Francilie.

As winner of Group C the Ocelots will step up their efforts to confront the runner-up of Group D. Korivania was runner-up prior to today's match, but Masseau overtook Korivania as the runner-up and so will be the first opponent the Ocelots will face after group stages. Masseau was subject to noticeable flaws in group stage matches, but otherwise it is a country that should not be underestimated. In fact, we should not ever underestimate any country in a crazy competition like the CdE (everyone underestimated Zieggies, now look what happened).

Indeed we have 48 hours or less to prepare harder for tougher competition, and this will be a common routine as we inch closer to the finals. But before we fear and become anxious for CdE matches, we should see how really-important people (like VIPs) are saying about our breaking out of the group stage, something that the Ocelots failed to do in their debuting CdE. Manager Carlos Agapito remarked, "it is truly difficult for me to properly describe the Ocelots and their astounding achievement, surviving against all odds and in a group in which its members could have easily defeated us." Sinhakese interim president Helga Duta wished the Ocelots "the best in their upcoming matches with all other remaining teams of Coupe d'Esquarium V", and Governor-President Howard Miten praised our team for "their amazing success on the international stage".

You might have looked at the picture in this article, or read off the schedule, and figured out the sixteen survivors of CdE V. I shall go over these countries briefly and how they should do.

Ocelot Isles: Us. We shouldn't do too poorly if we put in effort, and if Jopj gods and goddesses bless us.
Masseau: The country to face us in our first post-group stage match. Several problems messed with how the Masseans turned out in their group, but otherwise they should not go down without a fight.
Lyonsland: The host of CdE V. Home advantage and a noticeably-successful group stage run hints that the Lyonese will pack a punch for any of their opponents.
Michillies: Notorious for being expert footballers and rabid rioters (reminds me of Conitian Rabies). They will play against the Lyonese, generating tight competition and anxiety on both sides of the game.
Osonia: Has the best goal difference of all CdE participants. They smashed the living sh*t out of Atlantica Creek 7-1, so chances are they will do something similar to whoever they will play with.
Nevanmaa: The lovely white supremacist monarchy known for their racist songs. They were annoyed by a Litorean victory over their Lions, which otherwise did quite well in group stage matches. The Lions should hold out well in their next match, but maybe not so well against Osonia.
Luziyca: A debuting team, or not, depending on who you are. Kenyen Fighters smacked QSR and East Nautarya hard, but didn't do the same for Ainin and Daecon. Should be able to reach the quarterfinals.
North Qianrong: Denied Pavonistade the chance to move on - or did it? The SISQ would be descending into anarchy if their team lost to Luziyca. And considering that I said Luziyca "should be able to reach the quarterfinals"...
Odissia: Michillies' football archnemisis. Not having lost any group stage matches, Odissia should be able to do decently in what comes after group stages.
Montecara: Participant city-state whose team is the Group A runner-up. As they is a debuting team, Montecara is not one to mess around with.
Crolacia: One of the first countries guaranteed to advance to Group of 16. Despite losing the match with Montezelo, Crolacia has a good chance to stand out in the remainder of the CdE.
Francilie: Runner-up of the Group of Death. Francilie performed decently in spite of being defeated by Vyvland and us, so they should be able to survive into the quarterfinals.
Litorea: A rising star known for crushing Scotia in their first match. Litorea is a constant reminder that underestimating debuting teams is a bad thing to do, and as a result the team will be able to excel for much of their matches.
Atlantica Creek: Known for their magical streak of luck in CdE III, and I may or may not constantly misspell their name. Atlantica Creek is less able to tap their source of luck in this CdE, especially since they got rekt by Osonia. Atlantica Creek has a lower chance of passing the Group of 16 than other teams.
Ziegenhain: Another overlooked team that defied negative expectations. The Propagandaministerium famously replied to a Pavonistadian's anti-Ziegenian tweet, saying the Reich "is unable to be spiked". Perhaps they can make it to the quarterfinals?
Ainin: Defeated by Pavonistade, now sent packing home, in CdE IV. Ainin has a chance to do well in the Group of 16 but I feel for some reason that their opponent Ziegenhain will knock out the Aininians.

Wow, that was interesting. With all the predictions about the survivors, it now comes down to time which will (quite obviously) tell the victors of the Group of 16 two days from now. It is eight days from the finals, and even I cannot tell the outcomes of intermediate matches. Who knows what the results will be for the Group of 16, quarterfinals, semifinals, 3rd place matches, and the finals? Anything can happen of course. Maybe the Ocelots will get to spike the Ziegenians in the finals.

The article by Josef Hammock does not represent the views of the Ocelotian Gazette.

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