God For A Week

[Alevuss]

So, last night I was watching Bruce Almighty. If you haven't seen it or heard of it, it's basically about a guy named Bruce (Jim Carrey) who thinks he can do God's job better than God, so God bestows his power upon him. Naturally, Bruce goofs off and does things like dividing his soup, walking on water, and making the moon bigger.

This got me thinking: "What would I do if I were God for a week?" Of course, this is if I had to follow the two rules God made with using his power: 1.) You cannot tell anyone that you are God, 2.) You cannot mess with somone's free will.

Well, I'm not too sure how much can be accomplished in just a week, so, I would probably start off with simple "yes" or "no" answers to prayers (as saying yes would automatically make their prayers come true). On some prayers, however, I'm sure yes or no would not be sufficient. I would actually have to change some things so that the prayer is answered, but not always in the way the person who is praying expected. Some prayers I would either leave unanswered or give a no to since people do not always need the help of God for everything, but don't realize it.

I might throw in one or two "natural" disasters, but have no one die, "miraculously", just to force people to work together and have a sense of unity. I might crash a few economies or do the opposite.

Meanwhile, I would patrol streets(I wouldn't need to patrol the streets since I would be just short of omnipotent), enforcing law, all out of sight of anyone major who might be believed or arrest me for insanity. I would be sure to spread goodwill, too. If I did come across some down time, I would be take joy in tasks such as dividing my cereal and milk, making a sun in my hand, swimming on land, and breaking scientific laws in the comfort of my home.

So, what would you do if you were God/Goddess for a week, but had to follow the two rules mentioned above?

[Ifreann]

What kind of pension do I get when the week is over? I'd think that Supreme Overlord of Reality would have a rather generous retirement plan.

[The Southron Nation]

I would give it up to the original guy. I'm not nearly good enough to be God. I am too sinful, opinionated, presumptive, greedy, slothful, etc etc etc. Think of something bad, and I am that too. I ain't God enough to be God.

Wouldn't want the job.

[Wamitoria]

A shitload of money for myself, to keep my plans working after the loss of god-like powers.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

If I have to follow those 2 rules, I would be a very bored god for an entire week.

[Unilisia]

I'd kill everyone on the planet by instigating a combination of nuclear war and plagues.

And I'd de-atomize Vatican City, Jerusalem, Mecca, and Medina.

Of course, it'd be utter chaos, and most death's would occur from it. From then on, I'd float around riding a giant Cthulhu removing the last vestiges of human civilization. Then, since I'd still be God upon his own return to reclaim the mantle, kill the stupid fuck and then feed myself to the Cthulhu, which would then return to Ry'leh.

Oh shit, I just described my life as Satan

[Nightkill the Emperor]

I'd first get myself lots of money to keep myself going after the week.

[United Dependencies]

If I have to follow those 2 rules, I would be a very bored god for an entire week.

Just because you can't directly influence someone doesn't mean the same thing can't be done indirectly.

[Republicke]

Depends, is Morgan Freeman just 'gonna revert whatever I do back to how it was before?

[The Floridian Coast]

I would create infinitely renewable energy and infinitely renewable food sources that were so obvious that there is no way people could miss them and so numerous no one would be able to exploit them for profit. I expect with my ability to teleport around the world this will take only a day. Then I'll spend the next day creating and distributing cure all medicine.

Then I suppose I'll make the colors of things more aesthetically pleasing, and then I'd just fuck around and do fun stuff, like jumping off huge buildings and flying.

[Alevuss]

I'd kill everyone on the planet by instigating a combination of nuclear war and plagues.

And I'd de-atomize Vatican City, Jerusalem, Mecca, and Medina.

Of course, it'd be utter chaos, and most death's would occur from it. From then on, I'd float around riding a giant Cthulhu removing the last vestiges of human civilization. Then, since I'd still be God upon his own return to reclaim the mantle, kill the stupid fuck and then feed myself to the Cthulhu, which would then return to Ry'leh.

God still keeps his powers while you are God. He just chills while you have his powers too.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

If I have to follow those 2 rules, I would be a very bored god for an entire week.

Just because you can't directly influence someone doesn't mean the same thing can't be done indirectly.

I prefer direct influence.


In any case, I would probably try to amass a fortune on that one week and then live my life in luxury, for both me and my family.

[Ceannairceach]

Rewrite all bibles would be at the top of my list, but other than that, I got nuttin...

[Northern Rangeria]

Have a few lightning bolts hit Glenn Beck, Bill O'Reilly and Timo Soini, then make it up by curing my aunt's cancer and a few other terminally ill people

Then I'd hand the job back over. I wouldn't answer any prayers because I think people need belief in the divine more than they need proof thereof. Also I'd tell the Big Guy I really like what He's done with the place, and offer a collective apology for us tenants mucking it up.

[ION Incorporated]

Would bankrupt the world's economies, then miraculously resurrect it again and again until the damage is permanent for my own amusement. Just seeing the expressions of the Wall Street investors as the economies crash, then mysteriously skyrocket in a few minutes would be worth it.

After this has resulted in total chaos, I will amend things so that it'll have never happened and no one will have any memory of it.

[Unilisia]

I'd kill everyone on the planet by instigating a combination of nuclear war and plagues.

And I'd de-atomize Vatican City, Jerusalem, Mecca, and Medina.

Of course, it'd be utter chaos, and most death's would occur from it. From then on, I'd float around riding a giant Cthulhu removing the last vestiges of human civilization. Then, since I'd still be God upon his own return to reclaim the mantle, kill the stupid fuck and then feed myself to the Cthulhu, which would then return to Ry'leh.

God still keeps his powers while you are God. He just chills while you have his powers too.

I'd kill him anyway.

[United Dependencies]

Just because you can't directly influence someone doesn't mean the same thing can't be done indirectly.

I prefer direct influence.


In any case, I would probably try to amass a fortune on that one week and then live my life in luxury, for both me and my family.

Bah. The indirect, David Xanatos style, influence is way cooler. Especially when somebody realizes they've been duped all along.

[Hypparchia]

I'd enlarge my gf's breasts, pull the Moon closer and make my worst enemies do inadequate sounds while on air. AND walk on the water. I like simple things, really.

Oh, and I might as well make people a bit more content with what they have, that would make the world slightly safer.

[Republicke]

Would bankrupt the world's economies, then miraculously resurrect it again and again until the damage is permanent for my own amusement. Just seeing the expressions of the Wall Street investors as the economies crash, then mysteriously skyrocket in a few minutes would be worth it.

After this has resulted in total chaos, I will amend things so that it'll have never happened and no one will have any memory of it.

You're going to date-rape the economy?

[Metmanui]

I will fix the world and have earth become united, starting with a coup in North Korea and its unification with South Korea, then the assassination of Osama and all racist being killed by a hired Mercenary that was paid by me.

[Aggicificicerous]

What kind of pension do I get when the week is over? I'd think that Supreme Overlord of Reality would have a rather generous retirement plan.

I doubt that, but stowing away a few billion untraceable dollars in my bank account as a god shouldn't be too hard.

[The Rubble Belt]

I would do the one thing only a major deity can do, put some decent politicians in office.



(Oh and make myself supreme ruler of the mighty Australian Empire)

[Umbra Ac Silentium]

What I would do is advance humanity to the pinnacle of possible technological achievement. I would mold the world to my perfect vision, end scarcity, establish an uncorrupt global democracy, and pretty much fade back into obscurity right after.

[Tekonia X-2]

If was god for a week I would help humanity take a giant leap in technology and transition them to a type 1 or type 2 civilization. Before the final day of the week, I would then create my own habitable planet around BeetleGeuce and Alpha Centauri. After that I would then create my own interstellar ship so that I could easily travel back and forth between those two stars. After the final day was over with I would then sit back on one of my habitable planets and relax while letting Chuck Norris falcon punch Tom Cruise in the face for my own enjoyment.

[Great Nepal]

13 step plan really...

1. Fulfill every wish of my relatives.
2. Fulfill every wish of my gf.
3. Fulfill every wish of my friends.
4. Eradicate all politicians in Nepal.
5. Replace the politicians with urber-nationalist and perhaps establish beloved dictatorship.
6. Make Indian army very weak and cause war between Nepal and India. Nepal wins.
7. Repeat Step 6 with rest of south Asia.
8. Repeat Step 7 with China and Russia.
9, Make European army very weak (except Romania's)
10. You know the drill.
11. Make Nepal the most developed nation in world.
12. Make Romania second most developed nation in world.
13. Get myself huge castle, aircraft, etc and have fun.