NationStates' Transgender Thread II

[Revanchism]

Seems you all are doing well, glad to see that.

[Nature-Spirits]

When it comes to jewellery, I'm not sure if I just can't figure out what I like, or if my style is just that eclectic. My style is pretty subdued (in a fabulously stylish way that makes people notice me ^_^), and I don't wear a lot of colours (except for some red, purple, blue, and sometimes green -- occasionally other colours when it comes to scarves). My meagre collection of jewellery is quite diverse, though -- which is, I suppose, to be expected, given that half of it is stuff I've bought and the other half comes from my mom (mostly stuff she doesn't wear anymore). I have a necklace of orange beads, with clip-on earrings to match (I'd peg them at around the 50s), I have a black choker, I have another black choker with little tiny chains and a cross (very gothic-inspired -- unlike Cathy Brennan), I have a couple of pendants on cords and chains, mostly black and metal. I have a couple of hair brooches or whatever you call them. And when I decide I want to wear something a bit girly, I'm at a loss with what jewellery to wear.

I don't know, just something weird.

Also, making and altering jewellery isn't hard if you have the right tools and know-how, but if you don't, it's best to not fiddle too much.


^^^ Good quality shit is fucking expensive.

I did get a pretty good lipstick at the dollar store, though. Still wouldn't buy foundation or mascara there.

Colours are interesting things - blues, reds and browns (why does my iPad want to capitalise "browns"?) work best for me, I have to avoid greens and especially yellows because they make me look sallow.

I have odd tastes in jewellery in that I don't think much of most precious stones - diamonds for example are artificially inflated in price, prop up violent regimes and insurgencies in the third world, and are practically indistinguishable from glass; so why not go with glass, which can do a huge range of really cool and pretty things? The same is true of other precious stones like rubies and sapphires too. Stones I do like are jade, turquoise, Amber, opals, tigerseyes and the like, things with some actual texture and volume to them - like, for example, plain old pebbles with banded inclusions.

I'm not a huge fan of gold either - it's too yellow - and silver is largely indistinguishable from stainless steel or titanium, which are stronger. So I guess I find the materials a thing is made of very much secondary to how it looks.


As for makeup, I'm not sure how I feel about it. I think it's easy to go overboard. I can get behind foundation, concealer and lip gloss but I'm definitely not a fan of mascara.


In other news, I have an appointment next week for my first session of laser hair removal! I'm quite excited.

Heh. I have to agree on the precious stones and gold. I do like silver, though -- I can usually tell the difference between it and other silvery metals, because my mom does jewellery and I've learned passively from her. It's also easier to work with than harder metals, so there's that.

I like some makeup, but god knows it's easy to go overboard and end up looking like a drag queen when you don't have any practice. I like foundation, lipstick, and occasionally mascara. Sometimes blush, but only very rarely. I've never really tried eyeshadow, and I'd like to, but I don't see myself using it often. I have tried eyeliner, and it's a bitch to work with, but it can be fun sometimes.

Congrats on laser hair removal! I can't wait to start doing it, myself.

[Vassenor]

So I guess I'm feeling kind of hopeless after someone I talked to on another forum mentioned her wait for her first appointment getting pushed back from 10 months to 16.

[Grenartia]

Seems you all are doing well, glad to see that.

Hey, its good to see you again!

[Nature-Spirits]

So I guess I'm feeling kind of hopeless after someone I talked to on another forum mentioned her wait for her first appointment getting pushed back from 10 months to 16.

I mean, you kind of have to make an appointment before you start worrying about that. So you should get on it!

[Philjia]

So I guess I'm feeling kind of hopeless after someone I talked to on another forum mentioned her wait for her first appointment getting pushed back from 10 months to 16.

You can't get mad about your ball rolling slowly if you haven't tried pushing it. So go on, push that ball, girl!

[Vassenor]

I know. Tomorrow I've got my first appointment aimed at getting support with the anxiety thing.

[Renewed Imperial Germany]

So I'm thinking I should tell my college councilor about my *ahem* situation but at the same time I'm afraid to talk about it. Fuck me.

[Hetalia Dakota 2 II]

So I'm thinking I should tell my college councilor about my *ahem* situation but at the same time I'm afraid to talk about it. Fuck me.

Their might be scholarships available IIRC, make sure your grades are up and apply like mad. Remember FASFA as well. You'll need around a 4.8 gpa if you want to be considered by ivy leagues, don't forget your extra curricular activities. Unfortunately telling a college counselor now whilst in high school might be awkward and could potentially make itself back to your family, I'd use caution.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

Quick note out of frustration: people who constantly call transgender people deluded are one of the leading reasons as to why society remains backwards and un-accepting of the transgender community.

[Grenartia]

So I'm thinking I should tell my college councilor about my *ahem* situation but at the same time I'm afraid to talk about it. Fuck me.

I'd go for it, were I in your place.

So I'm thinking I should tell my college councilor about my *ahem* situation but at the same time I'm afraid to talk about it. Fuck me.

Their might be scholarships available IIRC, make sure your grades are up and apply like mad. Remember FASFA as well. You'll need around a 4.8 gpa if you want to be considered by ivy leagues, don't forget your extra curricular activities. Unfortunately telling a college counselor now whilst in high school might be awkward and could potentially make itself back to your family, I'd use caution.

I'm pretty sure there's confidentiality stuff in place. It couldn't hurt to ask about it.

[Val Halla]

Quick note out of frustration: people who constantly call transgender people deluded are one of the leading reasons as to why society remains backwards and un-accepting of the transgender community.

I don't get why people would say deluded tbh. Kinda daft to me

[Vassenor]

Quick note out of frustration: people who constantly call transgender people deluded are one of the leading reasons as to why society remains backwards and un-accepting of the transgender community.

I don't get why people would say deluded tbh. Kinda daft to me

Because people think that anything that does not fit with their view of reality is wrong.

[Hetalia Dakota 2 II]

I don't get why people would say deluded tbh. Kinda daft to me

Because people think that anything that does not fit with their view of reality is wrong.

That's because most people only care about their reality and are self important.

[Renewed Imperial Germany]

So I'm thinking I should tell my college councilor about my *ahem* situation but at the same time I'm afraid to talk about it. Fuck me.

I'd go for it, were I in your place.

Their might be scholarships available IIRC, make sure your grades are up and apply like mad. Remember FASFA as well. You'll need around a 4.8 gpa if you want to be considered by ivy leagues, don't forget your extra curricular activities. Unfortunately telling a college counselor now whilst in high school might be awkward and could potentially make itself back to your family, I'd use caution.

I'm pretty sure there's confidentiality stuff in place. It couldn't hurt to ask about it.

I'm just worried about:

A) Not being believed. My parents sent me to an all boys school (fml), so it doesn't seem likely that I'd be transgender, considering that, y'know, I go to a school just for boys.

B) My CommonApp looking weird AF with the councilor potentially referring to me as female, letters of rec referring to me as both (I could get one teacher to call me 'she,' possibly, but the other is being handled at my old school and my parents are involved, so that one would be male), and with my other info (which my parents can see) saying male. Then again, thats going to be confusing anyways when I come out at college. Still though, confusing.

Potentially beneficial is she could explain how to get declared independent and the like and walk me through what my options would be. After I get 'kicked off' so to speak.

[Nature-Spirits]

I know. Tomorrow I've got my first appointment aimed at getting support with the anxiety thing.

Hooray!

So I'm thinking I should tell my college councilor about my *ahem* situation but at the same time I'm afraid to talk about it. Fuck me.

I'd go for it, were I in your place.

Their might be scholarships available IIRC, make sure your grades are up and apply like mad. Remember FASFA as well. You'll need around a 4.8 gpa if you want to be considered by ivy leagues, don't forget your extra curricular activities. Unfortunately telling a college counselor now whilst in high school might be awkward and could potentially make itself back to your family, I'd use caution.

I'm pretty sure there's confidentiality stuff in place. It couldn't hurt to ask about it.

There is confidentiality for most stuff (except stuff like suicide and self-harm, which they have to report to parents (at least here)). Still, there have been instances of counsellors ignoring that, especially with regard to LGBT stuff. I'd keep it vague, at least until you feel you can trust them.

[Hetalia Dakota 2 II]

I know. Tomorrow I've got my first appointment aimed at getting support with the anxiety thing.

Hooray!

I'd go for it, were I in your place.



I'm pretty sure there's confidentiality stuff in place. It couldn't hurt to ask about it.

There is confidentiality for most stuff (except stuff like suicide and self-harm, which they have to report to parents (at least here)). Still, there have been instances of counsellors ignoring that, especially with regard to LGBT stuff. I'd keep it vague, at least until you feel you can trust them.

College counsellors aren't even real type counsellors anyhow.

[Val Halla]

I don't get why people would say deluded tbh. Kinda daft to me

Because people think that anything that does not fit with their view of reality is wrong.

It's not even that. It's that they're so scared of something being different that they want society to be this sludge where everyone is the same

[Renewed Imperial Germany]

AHhh the US military. No matter how much I love this country, I can't serve it. Good job America. Way to tell me you don't want me.

[Hetalia Dakota 2 II]

AHhh the US military. No matter how much I love this country, I can't serve it. Good job America. Way to tell me you don't want me.

Why would you want to be part of a corrupt organization fighting pointless battles to please suits who don't care about you and simply profit from the chaos?

[Renewed Imperial Germany]

AHhh the US military. No matter how much I love this country, I can't serve it. Good job America. Way to tell me you don't want me.

Why would you want to be part of a corrupt organization fighting pointless battles to please suits who don't care about you and simply profit from the chaos?

Because thats not how I see any war except for Iraq?

[Hetalia Dakota 2 II]

Why would you want to be part of a corrupt organization fighting pointless battles to please suits who don't care about you and simply profit from the chaos?

Because thats not how I see any war except for Iraq?

Oh. I see. I've just got friends and family telling me horror stories in Afghanistan they keep guns around to throw on civilians to transform them into armed combatants. But do as you wish. Maintain the state we are the global force for good after all. I love cops too.

[Nature-Spirits]

See, I respect people who join the military and police force out of a desire to do good.

I despise the institutions themselves, though.

Also, lots of really horrible people in both.

Anyway. Not the purpose of the thread, I suppose.

[Hetalia Dakota 2 II]

See, I respect people who join the military and police force out of a desire to do good.

I despise the institutions themselves, though.

Also, lots of really horrible people in both.

Anyway. Not the purpose of the thread, I suppose.

I think you hit the nail on the head though.

[Albrook]

I didn't think it'd be right to awkwardly enter the topic with a long post I pre-typed, and especially during a conversation I may be interrupting (not on forums too much), so I spoilered it. I'm pretty sure I've been depressed lately due to the family politics orbiting my gender, and frankly just need people to talk to - as politely as I can word that. So here goes:

I’m a stranger to the world of NSG, and fell out of NS entirely a year or so ago due to a sudden rise in both academic responsibility (AP tests >.<) and the gender question in my life. So while I may recognize some names here, I highly doubt my name rings a bell to anyone here. But I digress,

I’m 18, pre-everything trans MtF, and like to be called Sara. I more or less discovered all of that around 2009, during the first few months of middle school in a new state after my parents divorced more than ten years ago, and following a new custody order due to my mom’s (former custodian) behavior with her new spouse (now separated). Over the years I’ve told my friends, who knew me initially only as my male self, about my gender and have been relying on them for support more than ever lately.

I think during my junior year of high school, I asked my high school drama teacher if I could start dressing up during rehearsals, and received a welcoming yes. Time progressed, and during school breaks I would visit my mom for more clothes and accessories to work with, and now I dress up as my preferred gender all the time at school now. I am nowhere close to passing; I have no makeup, wear leggings constantly to hide my leg hair, and am seriously lacking in the back. I rely on a senior privilege allowing dismissal from my last class of a day three minutes early to quickly change back into my tee shirt and jeans I arrived in and store my outfits either in a convenient locker given to me by my drama teacher or in my bag to sleep in.

A year has passed, and I realized in horror that I recently spent my last school break of high school, and am about to graduate. In that, I will lose that major outlet of expression (other than sleeping in my clothes and wearing my hair in pigtails during my Boy Scout (supportive troopmates) campouts).

It would be easy to start over in college if it wasn’t for the politics back at home. My father doesn’t approve. Recently, I did talk to him about going to a college further away, or moving out for the local community college (a hasty and rash idea, me) in order to leave the house I live in where I can’t express myself. He told me he didn’t understand, and he accepted my apology for being rash when I gave it – but then turned around and angrily vented to my brother, my source of advice and reason recently, and further fueled the fear I have of my father and my well-being over the next two years before I can escape to a higher university where I’ll need to board.

For context, my father is the man who came into my room a year and a half ago while I was at school, “decided to put my pants away for me, as a favor”, and seized a poorly hidden stash of a beautiful silver dress, my stuffed bra, and a black cardigan - preventing me from dressing up for that drama season. In case I forgot to mention, he does not know I dress up at school.

I understand it’s not supposed to be easy. But on top of not being able to look at a follicle of hair without dysphoric thoughts having to deal with the paranoia and anxiety of preventing another room raid occupies my thoughts constantly. All I currently do is cope; I talk with supportive friends, dress up whenever logistically possible to calm myself down (even wearing some lighter clothes under my boy clothes), read Rain (a wonderful recommended read from a region embassied with mine), and wait.

So that’d be my life story there. First time I typed it without crying, really – hands are shaking though. I read back a few pages and figured you guys would be good people to talk to about life, the issues, and whatever may be on our minds today.~