NationStates' Transgender Thread II

[Grenartia]

Wait. Why is a psychiatrist talking to you about the side effects of SRS?

HRT causes irreversible infertility after a while, you don't need SRS to spike the ol' baby cannon. And since some people are concerned about having kids in the future, it's a reasonable concern to raise in a psych assessment.

Of course, my psychiatrist went a step further and was like "You know it'll be harder to find romantic or sexual relationships, right?"

I knew it could cause infertility, but not that it was guaranteed.

I feel like I should post here more often, but never have anything new to say. I hate that I'm not actually doing anything but I can't actually do anything yet and I'm extremely resistant to seeing a therapist for no good reason.

Use the thread as you need to, is my opinion. You're always welcome here.

What I personally do.

Wait a second, Facebook makes you give them PID as a way to change your name?!

I don't remember that being a thing.

Sort of. If they have reason to suspect that you're not using your real name, then they'll ask for ID, and they may shut down your account.

I'm not surprised that you wouldn't know, though, since trans people are among the only ones who are actually affected by that policy on a regular basis. A cis person can change their name to whatever they want without issue, usually; however, Facebook follows up on reports when a lot of people report a single thing, so if a hundred people report a trans person's name as "not their real name" because they want to be transphobic pieces of shit, then Facebook will ask for ID.

There are a lot of unsavoury things that Facebook does, actually, but I still use it because it's the foundation for most of my social network. I'd lose touch with most of my friends without it.

To be fair, a lot of cis people are affected by the policy as well, especially ones trying to get away from an abuser/stalker.

Cisgender women are less shitty that way than cisgender men, then? Or is it the fact that they're necessarily lesbians that means they're more likely to be not transphobic?

IMO, cis men and cis women are shitty in different ways wrt transmisogyny and relationships. Cis men are more likely to beat you up because they're afraid that their attraction to you makes them gay. Cis women are more likely to be TERFs who want to keep that precious gold star of theirs.

Generalisations, of course. Lots of cis people are great, but I've heard too many horror stories.

Be trans, date trans.

It was just a suggestion. I have no way of knowing where people live.

Well, to be fair, I guess it's a reasonable suggestion for Americans.

Not really. There's an extremely high correlation between gun ownership and suicide. Considering how high the attempted suicide rate is for us already, I wouldn't call it a reasonable suggestion at all. Lets also not forget the shit transwomen face without having guns (to say nothing about if you're a black and a transwoman. Hell, even for us white transfolk who aren't suicidal, we'd probably get shit from the cops for being legally armed). I'll stick to martial arts, tasers/stun guns, (legal) knives, and improvised weapons, and recommend the same.

[Socialist Tera]

Be trans, date trans.

I dunno, that is a small percent of the population. That is ticking off a lot of potential people to date who I would consider.

[Linux and the X]

Have you ever thought of getting a concealed carry license?

Can't. Australia's gun laws only allows me to use it for hunting or for use at a gun range.

Can't you just say you're hunting drop bears?

[Socialist Tera]

Can't. Australia's gun laws only allows me to use it for hunting or for use at a gun range.

Can't you just say you're hunting drop bears?

Drop bears is a protected species.

[The Serbian Empire]

HRT causes irreversible infertility after a while, you don't need SRS to spike the ol' baby cannon. And since some people are concerned about having kids in the future, it's a reasonable concern to raise in a psych assessment.

Of course, my psychiatrist went a step further and was like "You know it'll be harder to find romantic or sexual relationships, right?"

I knew it could cause infertility, but not that it was guaranteed.

Use the thread as you need to, is my opinion. You're always welcome here.

What I personally do.

Sort of. If they have reason to suspect that you're not using your real name, then they'll ask for ID, and they may shut down your account.

I'm not surprised that you wouldn't know, though, since trans people are among the only ones who are actually affected by that policy on a regular basis. A cis person can change their name to whatever they want without issue, usually; however, Facebook follows up on reports when a lot of people report a single thing, so if a hundred people report a trans person's name as "not their real name" because they want to be transphobic pieces of shit, then Facebook will ask for ID.

There are a lot of unsavoury things that Facebook does, actually, but I still use it because it's the foundation for most of my social network. I'd lose touch with most of my friends without it.

To be fair, a lot of cis people are affected by the policy as well, especially ones trying to get away from an abuser/stalker.

IMO, cis men and cis women are shitty in different ways wrt transmisogyny and relationships. Cis men are more likely to beat you up because they're afraid that their attraction to you makes them gay. Cis women are more likely to be TERFs who want to keep that precious gold star of theirs.

Generalisations, of course. Lots of cis people are great, but I've heard too many horror stories.

Be trans, date trans.

Well, to be fair, I guess it's a reasonable suggestion for Americans.

Not really. There's an extremely high correlation between gun ownership and suicide. Considering how high the attempted suicide rate is for us already, I wouldn't call it a reasonable suggestion at all. Lets also not forget the shit transwomen face without having guns (to say nothing about if you're a black and a transwoman. Hell, even for us white transfolk who aren't suicidal, we'd probably get shit from the cops for being legally armed). I'll stick to martial arts, tasers/stun guns, (legal) knives, and improvised weapons, and recommend the same.

My view points on dating are put the data in the dating profile and put it in clear and blatant terms.

This is something I'd post on an account: If you think Caitlyn Jenner should be called by her birth name, you're not the one for me.

[Nature-Spirits]

I feel that. I'd like to get some sort of self-defence training, too.


Have you ever thought of countries where people don't generally own guns?

Unfortunately some people think guns are the only way people can defend themselves. To the point where they think that banning privately owned weapons means that self-defence is illegal.

Mostly Americans, if we're being honest. I still have trouble wrapping my head around the reasons for that particular cultural phenomenon.

To be fair, a lot of cis people are affected by the policy as well, especially ones trying to get away from an abuser/stalker.

Oh, for sure. But we're affected disproportionately, and lots of transphobes have used it as a weapon against individual trans people.

Be trans, date trans.

Basically, yeah.

In related news, I told a coworker today that I've never dated anyone (and that I'm okay with that). Her response: "Are you an asexual?"
-_-

Honestly heteros why.

Not really. There's an extremely high correlation between gun ownership and suicide. Considering how high the attempted suicide rate is for us already, I wouldn't call it a reasonable suggestion at all. Lets also not forget the shit transwomen face without having guns (to say nothing about if you're a black and a transwoman. Hell, even for us white transfolk who aren't suicidal, we'd probably get shit from the cops for being legally armed). I'll stick to martial arts, tasers/stun guns, (legal) knives, and improvised weapons, and recommend the same.

Hm, good point. I guess it's reasonable for Americans in the sense of "not completely batshit", then.

[Philjia]

In related news, I told a coworker today that I've never dated anyone (and that I'm okay with that). Her response: "Are you an asexual?"
-_-

Honestly heteros why.

I've never dated anyone because I don't find that many single girls attractive enough to try to ask for a date, and I'm not charismatic enough to make it happen. It's fine. I'll find love eventually.

[Socialist Tera]

In related news, I told a coworker today that I've never dated anyone (and that I'm okay with that). Her response: "Are you an asexual?"
-_-

Honestly heteros why.

I've never dated anyone because I don't find that many single girls attractive enough to try to ask for a date, and I'm not charismatic enough to make it happen. It's fine. I'll find love eventually.

I'm too lazy to ask anybody out. Ask people out, nah that's too much effort, rather stay home and do things that are fun.

[Socialist Tera]

I am thinking of trying to pass before hrt, is it possible?

[Soldati Senza Confini]

In related news, I told a coworker today that I've never dated anyone (and that I'm okay with that). Her response: "Are you an asexual?"
-_-

Honestly heteros why.

It's a thing most people will do. It even happened to me because I wasn't dating anyone until my last year in college.

"Why are you not dating any women?! Are you gay?"

Now it's asexual, but before it was basically telling us we were gay or lesbians.

Nothing wrong with being gay or lesbian, mind. But it is incredibly annoying, and it is a cultural thing. Not your fault.

---

In regards of dating, I'd say: date whoever you feel comfortable. Love's not something you're gonna find in a relationship just because you happen to be with someone of the same background. Sometimes, people of the same background are the least likely persons to match what you want in a partner.

[Imperial Union of America]

What's it like to change your sex, anyway. I'm sort of curious what it's actually like and if it's any different from a cis person .

[Socialist Tera]

What's it like to change your sex, anyway. I'm sort of curious what it's actually like and if it's any different from a cis person .

To me, the concept is an exciting but terrifying thing. It is exciting that I can be who I really am and terrifying at the fact I could be rejected by family and/or attacked by people of the community. Imagine having to dress up as the opposite gender every day and be one that's what life used to be for me, still is until I have progressed enough to pass.

[Imperial Union of America]

What's it like to change your sex, anyway. I'm sort of curious what it's actually like and if it's any different from a cis person .

To me, the concept is an exciting but terrifying thing. It is exciting that I can be who I really am and terrifying at the fact I could be rejected by family and/or attacked by people of the community. Imagine having to dress up as the opposite gender every day and be one that's what life used to be for me, still is until I have progressed enough to pass.

So it's not just a matter of getting steroid injections and surgery? I just assumed it was a fast process.

I wish you the best in that

[Socialist Tera]

To me, the concept is an exciting but terrifying thing. It is exciting that I can be who I really am and terrifying at the fact I could be rejected by family and/or attacked by people of the community. Imagine having to dress up as the opposite gender every day and be one that's what life used to be for me, still is until I have progressed enough to pass.

So it's not just a matter of getting steroid injections and surgery? I just assumed it was a fast process.

I wish you the best in that

It takes two-three years to complete hrt. It's like second puberty. You also have to have laser to remove facial hair, take vocal therapy to speak like a girl, it's a long ass and expensive thing. By the thank you for the best wishes.

[Philjia]

To me, the concept is an exciting but terrifying thing. It is exciting that I can be who I really am and terrifying at the fact I could be rejected by family and/or attacked by people of the community. Imagine having to dress up as the opposite gender every day and be one that's what life used to be for me, still is until I have progressed enough to pass.

So it's not just a matter of getting steroid injections and surgery? I just assumed it was a fast process.

I wish you the best in that

It depends how rich you are. Those with cash can simply buy the best care. If you're not, you'll either have to go with what you can afford, or if you're British, endure the NHS waiting list.

[The Serbian Empire]

So it's not just a matter of getting steroid injections and surgery? I just assumed it was a fast process.

I wish you the best in that

It takes two-three years to complete hrt. It's like second puberty. You also have to have laser to remove facial hair, take vocal therapy to speak like a girl, it's a long ass and expensive thing. By the thank you for the best wishes.

Some can teach themselves to speak that way, but not everyone is capable of such. Some may even need surgery to reshape aspects of the face.

[Revanchism]

Finally got to see a therapist.
Made absolutely no progress, so, yeah, there's that.
Now to wait another 5 months to work up the initiative again.

[Grenartia]

Finally got to see a therapist.
Made absolutely no progress, so, yeah, there's that.
Now to wait another 5 months to work up the initiative again.

Aw. Also, holy crap, long time, no see.

[The Serbian Empire]

Finally got to see a therapist.
Made absolutely no progress, so, yeah, there's that.
Now to wait another 5 months to work up the initiative again.

Welcome back!

[Giovenith]

So I came across something kind of interesting.

I was listening to one of those YouTube channels whose whole schtick is to read scary experiences that people online have shared, and one was a story submitted by a transman about how he was followed in the middle of the night and nearly ambushed until his stalkers saw that he looked like a guy and left him alone. You know, suspected his physical sex from afar but then assumed he was a cis man when they got up close (and not being targeted because he was trans). Pretty scary in itself, but not what caught my attention.

In the comment section, someone had said something along the lines of, "What a bunch of fucking cowards, going around messing with women and transmen, pick on someone your own size" (not the exact quote, but an approximation of what was said). Now obviously, anybody should be be pissed that anyone is getting stalked and potentially abducted regardless of gender and want to step in, that is the right reaction. But basically, it was worded in such a way that it clearly conveyed that while the poster did in fact recognize transmen as men, they nonetheless extended their notions of "chivalry" towards women to transmen as well.

I'm just curious as to what people think of that. Is it good because, transman or not, a biological female who hasn't gone through surgery still tends to be physically weaker and thus needs more special consideration from others in the form of protection, or is it something of a tacit implication that the person doesn't really view transmen as "real men" because he makes a special distinction for them he wouldn't normally give to cis men? Does it not really matter either way? What if the genders are reversed, with a transwoman more expected to hold her own weight in a confrontation or something? I'm genuinely interested in how people react to this attitude, as it really isn't something I see often - usually I see people who are either pro-trans and go out of their way to treat transpeople as their gender in every single little regard, or anti-trans and continue to treat transpeople fully as their biological sex, but never something that takes such an in-between, "there are exceptions" type stance.

[Aphryss]

TBH Gio I'm having trouble seeing the dividing line here from standard biological essentialism. It's your standard "trans men are women are weak and feeble flowers who need protecting from and by big strong men" line.

In other news, I had hoped to get my prescription for testosterone blockers this week, but apparently my endocrinologist wants more blood tests first. Something about very low testosterone and the previous blood tests not being fasting. So now I have to go in early tomorrow morning without any breakfast in me. Always another damn hoop to jump through.

[Vassenor]

So it looks like GIC patients in Wales are facing a four year wait for appointments.

I'm sorry but that's disgusting.

[Philjia]

So it looks like GIC patients in Wales are facing a four year wait for appointments.

I'm sorry but that's disgusting.

It's not going to get better. There aren't enough specialists and it's unlikely more are going to come in when ever more are needed to stretch the most essential NHS services as far as they can go. Even if we get a left wing government, it's not going to be high on the list of things that need to be fixed with the health service.

[United Socialist Republic of Antarctica]

So I'm going to be working on getting a QSA set up at my high school, but having no experience with QSAs, I don't really know what to do with it once I do get it started. Like are there formal meetings, or just hanging out and talking, and if it is a formal meeting, what does that consist of?

So if any of you could share what your QSA/GSA does, that would be great!

[The Serbian Empire]

So I came across something kind of interesting.

I was listening to one of those YouTube channels whose whole schtick is to read scary experiences that people online have shared, and one was a story submitted by a transman about how he was followed in the middle of the night and nearly ambushed until his stalkers saw that he looked like a guy and left him alone. You know, suspected his physical sex from afar but then assumed he was a cis man when they got up close (and not being targeted because he was trans). Pretty scary in itself, but not what caught my attention.

In the comment section, someone had said something along the lines of, "What a bunch of fucking cowards, going around messing with women and transmen, pick on someone your own size" (not the exact quote, but an approximation of what was said). Now obviously, anybody should be be pissed that anyone is getting stalked and potentially abducted regardless of gender and want to step in, that is the right reaction. But basically, it was worded in such a way that it clearly conveyed that while the poster did in fact recognize transmen as men, they nonetheless extended their notions of "chivalry" towards women to transmen as well.

I'm just curious as to what people think of that. Is it good because, transman or not, a biological female who hasn't gone through surgery still tends to be physically weaker and thus needs more special consideration from others in the form of protection, or is it something of a tacit implication that the person doesn't really view transmen as "real men" because he makes a special distinction for them he wouldn't normally give to cis men? Does it not really matter either way? What if the genders are reversed, with a transwoman more expected to hold her own weight in a confrontation or something? I'm genuinely interested in how people react to this attitude, as it really isn't something I see often - usually I see people who are either pro-trans and go out of their way to treat transpeople as their gender in every single little regard, or anti-trans and continue to treat transpeople fully as their biological sex, but never something that takes such an in-between, "there are exceptions" type stance.

At the same time, the reasoning isn't less muscle strength, but sexual dimorphism in terms of height. Although trans women often do become weaker than their cis counterparts of the same size for a different reason. Anti-androgens can be so powerful as to leave trans women with lower T levels than normally seen in cis women. However, sexual dimorphism makes it to where a trans woman like myself who went through male puberty also has 3-6" more height than if I were born as a cis female.