Here's a real political compass test

[Calimera II]

Hipster.

Souriya is communist. Communists aren't liberals.

Souriya is a dictator-supporting hipster. And a communist..

[Conserative Morality]

Tea Partiests aren't the only conservatives.....moderate conservatives are incredibly sophisticated and socially responsible people

Moderate conservatives are just like the rest of us, only with a more regional outlook on matters.

[Zunkwentania]

Its interface was extremely good and user friendly, but it doesn't go deep enough, uses a binary answer system, and makes too many guesses on the individual.

For example, I am actually very critical of the President, I am disappointed that he isn't bold enough to push for thing she wants, then again I cannot blame him in good faith given that I do in fact blame the Government for being a rotten piece of shit, and our media being pants on head retarded.

Though I'm not "Oh, Obama uses Drones! Thats makes him Conservative!" How the flying fuck that makes him Conservative is beyond me, I think that would make him more fucking Liberal...damn...just had to get that off my chest.

Exactly. And it caters to a two party dichotomy by only mentioning the Democrats and Republicans. Anyway, here we go...
Solid Liberal
Generally affluent and highly educated, most Solid Liberals strongly support the social safety net and take very liberal positions on virtually all issues. Most say they always vote Democratic and are unflagging supporters of Barack Obama. Overall, Solid Liberals are very optimistic about the nation’s future and are the most likely to say that America’s success is linked to its ability to change, rather than its reliance on long-standing principles. On foreign policy, Solid Liberals overwhelmingly believe that good diplomacy – rather than military strength – is the best way to ensure peace.

[The New Sea Territory]

Souriya is communist. Communists aren't liberals.

Souriya is a dictator-supporting hipster. And a communist..

Those are mutually exclusive.

[Degenerate Heart of HetRio]

Hipster.

Libertarians and socialists and many others don't fit those boxes. Are they all hipsters?

To be honest, if by libertarian you mean the US sense, only anarcho-capitalists, minarchists and some others aren't liberals, and many of them are indeed actually conservative.

By European and Latin American senses, though, indeed.

[Korintar]

http://www.people-press.org/quiz/political-typology/results/

My results are solid liberal, however, notably, I break ranks with solid liberals on issues of family values (gay rights and marriage) and am more isolationist (and simultaneously more cosmopolitan, if that makes any sense) than most solid liberals, apparently. I am also more suspicious of corporate power than most solid liberals, and certainly more so than the "Next Generation Left" who sound like the petite bourgeoisie liberals who tend to frustrate me- they don't know what's good for them, if you ask me. It is an interesting test, but it is too one dimensional and America-centric, but I guess that is easier for pollsters to analyze, even if it doesn't fully capture reality.

[Degenerate Heart of HetRio]

Souriya is a dictator-supporting hipster. And a communist..

Those are mutually exclusive.

I understand why someone would support Putin.

I don't really get Assad, though.

[Estado Nacional]

Souriya is a dictator-supporting hipster. And a communist..

Those are mutually exclusive.

Not at all. Not at all at all.

[Planita]

Solid Liberal LOL
"Generally affluent and highly educated, most Solid Liberals strongly support the social safety net and take very liberal positions on virtually all issues. Most say they always vote Democratic and are unflagging supporters of Barack Obama. Overall, Solid Liberals are very optimistic about the nation’s future and are the most likely to say that America’s success is linked to its ability to change, rather than its reliance on long-standing principles. On foreign policy, Solid Liberals overwhelmingly believe that good diplomacy – rather than military strength – is the best way to ensure peace."

"vote Democratic and are unflagging supporters of Barack Obama" nope

[Jute]

Isn't that the one where you always have to pick between two extremes? I really disliked that one.
This one was much better: http://www.theadvocates.org/quiz/quiz.php#

This simplified Nolan diagram is shit.

At least it doesn't waste much time, though.

[Vissegaard]

Business Conservatives generally are traditional small-government Republicans. Overwhelming percentages think that government is almost always wasteful and it does too much better left to businesses and individuals. Business Conservatives differ from Steadfast Conservatives in their positive attitudes toward business and in their strong support for Wall Street in particular. Most think that immigrants strengthen the country and take a positive view of U.S. global involvement. As a group, they are less socially conservative than Steadfast Conservatives.

[MERIZoC]

This is literally the shittiest political test on the internet.

Nah, the one in the other thread is worse. At least this one doesn't have spelling errors in the title.

[Soviet Haaregrad]

Libertarians and socialists and many others don't fit those boxes. Are they all hipsters?

To be honest, if by libertarian you mean the US sense, only anarcho-capitalists, minarchists and some others aren't liberals, and many of them are indeed actually conservative.

By European and Latin American senses, though, indeed.

I'm using libertarian more similar to the European or Latin American sense, but at least some US libertarians count too. Not the ones who identify as 'libertarian conservatives' though, or the ones who hold the same views. I tend to use the term libertarian quite loosely, within that portion of the compass you could have strong disagreements on many issues, including even on the definitions of some important terms.

[Planita]

I don't really like this one. You have to pick between extremes

[Skappola]

I would like to point out to people getting angry at this test that it is only meant to categorize the American populace into major political groups. It is not meant to be a fully personalized assessment nor does it need to include Communists & Socialists due to their small minority.

Next Generation Left
2012 vote: 66% for Obama | 25% for Romney
Generally young, well-educated and financially comfortable, the Next Generation Left have very liberal attitudes on many issues, including homosexuality, abortion, the environment and foreign policy. While overall supportive of an activist government, most are wary of expanding the social safety net. Most also have relatively positive views of Wall Street’s impact on the economy. While most affiliate with the Democratic Party or lean Democratic, few consider themselves strong Democrats. Compare groups on key issues.

[Dumb Ideologies]

This simplified Nolan diagram is shit.

At least it doesn't waste much time, though.

Neither does throwing a dart at a blackboard, blindfolded, after being spun round several times.

[Jute]

This is literally the shittiest political test on the internet.

Nah, the one in the other thread is worse. At least this one doesn't have spelling errors in the title.

The five dimensional one?

[Souriya Al-Assad]

Those are mutually exclusive.

I understand why someone would support Putin.

I don't really get Assad, though.

Bashar has defended Syria against GMOs, supports the Palestinian cause, has refused to make Syria a slave to the world order, has a socialist economy, opposes the reactionary Wahhabi Arab Peninsular-Gulf régimes, refuses to build the Qatar-Turkish-Zionist supported pipeline, stands with Russia=China & all their comrades, has supported numerous other anti-imperialist movements like his father has, Syrian media has educated its people about the world order & raised awareness against it, Syria refuses to be puppeted around, moreover Bashar has taken Nasser's mantle of Pan-Arabism. He, like his father, also refuse to abandon the Lebanese Résistance as well as the Iranian nation.

Whence you are an enemy of the neo-colonialist reactionary world order, moreover refuse to bow before them, they will demonise you, portray you as evil, destabilise your nation, embargo it economically, etcetera etcetera.

Same with Muammar al-Qadhafi, whom for example refused to sell petrol utilising the petrol-dollar, wanted to create the gold dinar, wanted Africa to build its own satellites, wanted Africa to jointly open its own development bank, had a successful socialist economy that had given Libya the best living standards in all of Africa amongst other things.

Souriya is communist. Communists aren't liberals.

Souriya is a dictator-supporting hipster. And a communist..

Me, a hipster? Lol.

Socially & Culturally speaking I am a traditionalist.

Economically speaking, I am a hard-lined anti-revisionist Communist.

[Jute]

At least it doesn't waste much time, though.

Neither does throwing a dart at a blackboard, blindfolded, after being spun round several times.

That could end badly, though. And leave you dizzy.

[MERIZoC]

I don't really like this one. You have to pick between extremes

You have to pick between nothing.

[Ripoll]

Business Conservatives generally are traditional small-government Republicans. Overwhelming percentages think that government is almost always wasteful and it does too much better left to businesses and individuals. Business Conservatives differ from Steadfast Conservatives in their positive attitudes toward business and in their strong support for Wall Street in particular. Most think that immigrants strengthen the country and take a positive view of U.S. global involvement. As a group, they are less socially conservative than Steadfast Conservatives.

fellow pragmatic capitalistic moderates

not enough of these guys around

[Ripoll]

I would like to point out to people getting angry at this test that it is only meant to categorize the American populace into major political groups. It is not meant to be a fully personalized assessment nor does it need to include Communists & Socialists due to their small minority.

Next Generation Left
2012 vote: 66% for Obama | 25% for Romney
Generally young, well-educated and financially comfortable, the Next Generation Left have very liberal attitudes on many issues, including homosexuality, abortion, the environment and foreign policy. While overall supportive of an activist government, most are wary of expanding the social safety net. Most also have relatively positive views of Wall Street’s impact on the economy. While most affiliate with the Democratic Party or lean Democratic, few consider themselves strong Democrats. Compare groups on key issues.

Another moderate +3 for moderacy lol

[Degenerate Heart of HetRio]

[N]or does it need to include Communists & Socialists due to their small minority.

Socialism is still a much more legitimate ideology than any kind of Republican-voting lol

[MERIZoC]

I don't really like this one. You have to pick between extremes

You have to pick between nothing.

[Degenerate Heart of HetRio]

Another moderate +3 for moderacy lol

You sure mean temperance or moderation?