Is divorce selfish? Is it a right?

[Right-Wing Anarchy of Egoism]

Is divorces of couples other than in which you're one of the spouses your business?

The answer is yes, unless one is a selfish prick with no concern for the well being of other people.

You're so adorable, being the hero of justice and saving the world from evil selfish pricks like me.

[The Flood]

The answer is yes, unless one is a selfish prick with no concern for the well being of other people.

It's really none of your business, dude. You can't tell people how they should live their lives. After all, it is very arrogant and narcissist to assume your way of living is the best and that everyone should follow it.

No, this 'none of your business' attittude people have nowadays is a product of our selfish individualistic culture. You SHOULD be concerned with the well being of others, rather then shrugging it off as 'none of your business'.

[Ethel mermania]

most families have kids, so i would think i am the one being more general, and you are the one addressing the smaller subset..
geting out of a relationship is an inherently selfish act. your not doing it for the other people, your doing it for yourself.

Perhaps you could look at it that way across the board but for example, would leaving a relationship were you are subject to physical abuse and rape really be selfish? If that is really how you view it then I guess I'd prefer to be selfish than at-risk.

Also to respond to the first half, a relationship is a choice. Just because two people get divorced doesn't mean that they can't both provide equally to their kids. If one person doesnt allow the other into the children's lives then that is selfish. Choosing to have a divorce, not so much since that is not what directly affects those relationships, that is an indirect result of the divorcee's selfishness.

your getting closer, being selfish isnt always a bad thing. getting out of a bad relationship is a smart decision, but its a selfish one.
whether divorce is good or bad for kids is a differnt topic, but the numbers are fairly clear, kids from broken homes do worse than kids from intact ones. however since i think the parents happiness is more important than the kids. i dont have an issue with people getting a divorce, and how divorce is handled.

[Ikania]

No people with a mutual dislike for each other should be forced to live in the same home. My parents divorced when I was 8, and it's had little to no negative effects on my growing up.

[Giovenith]

It's really none of your business, dude. You can't tell people how they should live their lives. After all, it is very arrogant and narcissist to assume your way of living is the best and that everyone should follow it.

No, this 'none of your business' attittude people have nowadays is a product of our selfish individualistic culture. You SHOULD be concerned with the well being of others, rather then shrugging it off as 'none of your business'.

You know getting a divorce is often for the well-being of the people in the former relationship, yes? It's not healthy to be around someone you've grown to despise. Maybe I think it's selfish of you to expect them to suffer each other for the illusion of perfection.

[Right-Wing Anarchy of Egoism]

It's really none of your business, dude. You can't tell people how they should live their lives. After all, it is very arrogant and narcissist to assume your way of living is the best and that everyone should follow it.

No, this 'none of your business' attittude people have nowadays is a product of our selfish individualistic culture. You SHOULD be concerned with the well being of others, rather then shrugging it off as 'none of your business'.

It is for the well-being of the person or people who want the divorce that I tell you to quit playing the superhero and sticking your nose in business it's not wanted.

[The imperial canadian dutchy]

You see, I personally view divorce as a shit thing, but people can do what they want.

[Ethel mermania]

No people with a mutual dislike for each other should be forced to live in the same home. My parents divorced when I was 8, and it's had little to no negative effects on my growing up.

it had no affect on household expenditures? your dad and mom were both able to pay for two households at the same cost as one?

[Ikania]

No people with a mutual dislike for each other should be forced to live in the same home. My parents divorced when I was 8, and it's had little to no negative effects on my growing up.

it had no affect on household expenditures? your dad and mom were both able to pay for two households at the same cost as one?

I won't get into personal stuff, but my parents are both fine right now. They've found ways to get around walls, and everything's turned out fine.

[Naretion]

Perhaps you could look at it that way across the board but for example, would leaving a relationship were you are subject to physical abuse and rape really be selfish? If that is really how you view it then I guess I'd prefer to be selfish than at-risk.

Also to respond to the first half, a relationship is a choice. Just because two people get divorced doesn't mean that they can't both provide equally to their kids. If one person doesnt allow the other into the children's lives then that is selfish. Choosing to have a divorce, not so much since that is not what directly affects those relationships, that is an indirect result of the divorcee's selfishness.

your getting closer, being selfish isnt always a bad thing. getting out of a bad relationship is a smart decision, but its a selfish one.
whether divorce is good or bad for kids is a differnt topic, but the numbers are fairly clear, kids from broken homes do worse than kids from intact ones. however since i think the parents happiness is more important than the kids. i dont have an issue with people getting a divorce, and how divorce is handled.

True. I suppose when I hear "selfish" i consider it more of an insult to the person and it being a way of calling the person "bad". So I suppose yes in that case it would be selfish, but by no means bad, which is how I interpreted the question of this thread.

[The Flood]

Perhaps you could look at it that way across the board but for example, would leaving a relationship were you are subject to physical abuse and rape really be selfish? If that is really how you view it then I guess I'd prefer to be selfish than at-risk.
Also to respond to the first half, a relationship is a choice. Just because two people get divorced doesn't mean that they can't both provide equally to their kids. If one person doesnt allow the other into the children's lives then that is selfish. Choosing to have a divorce, not so much since that is not what directly affects those relationships, that is an indirect result of the divorcee's selfishness.

your getting closer, being selfish isnt always a bad thing. getting out of a bad relationship is a smart decision, but its a selfish one.
whether divorce is good or bad for kids is a differnt topic, but the numbers are fairly clear, kids from broken homes do worse than kids from intact ones. however since i think the parents happiness is more important than the kids. i dont have an issue with people getting a divorce, and how divorce is handled.

Why the hell do you think the parents' happiness is more important then the kids?

Geez, I hope you don't have kids. Not if you honestly think it's right to put yourself before them.

[The Flood]

No, this 'none of your business' attittude people have nowadays is a product of our selfish individualistic culture. You SHOULD be concerned with the well being of others, rather then shrugging it off as 'none of your business'.

You know getting a divorce is often for the well-being of the people in the former relationship, yes? It's not healthy to be around someone you've grown to despise. Maybe I think it's selfish of you to expect them to suffer each other for the illusion of perfection.

No, divorce is not for the well being of the children. If no one is being abused, divorce is immoral and should not be allowed. The couple should work through their problems (which is always possible), instead of quitting and ruining their children's lives.

[Ethel mermania]

your getting closer, being selfish isnt always a bad thing. getting out of a bad relationship is a smart decision, but its a selfish one.
whether divorce is good or bad for kids is a differnt topic, but the numbers are fairly clear, kids from broken homes do worse than kids from intact ones. however since i think the parents happiness is more important than the kids. i dont have an issue with people getting a divorce, and how divorce is handled.

True. I suppose when I hear "selfish" i consider it more of an insult to the person and it being a way of calling the person "bad". So I suppose yes in that case it would be selfish, but by no means bad, which is how I interpreted the question of this thread.

agreed. there are times when its ok to be selfish

[Giovenith]

your getting closer, being selfish isnt always a bad thing. getting out of a bad relationship is a smart decision, but its a selfish one.
whether divorce is good or bad for kids is a differnt topic, but the numbers are fairly clear, kids from broken homes do worse than kids from intact ones. however since i think the parents happiness is more important than the kids. i dont have an issue with people getting a divorce, and how divorce is handled.

Why the hell do you think the parents' happiness is more important then the kids?

Geez, I hope you don't have kids. Not if you honestly think it's right to put yourself before them.

I can tell you that with my mother's divorce, she was most certainly putting her children first. Not every relationship is good for the kids, they don't need an adult figure who neglects their responsibilities, creates hostility and negativity, and burdens the family more than they provide. She dreamed of a happy married life for a long time, but she knew when it wasn't working out for the ones she loved most, or herself. Just because you're married doesn't make you suited to be a productive, healthy family member. It's not selfish to kick a leach to the curb. And you know what? We all benefited from it, him included, as he finally learned how to take care of himself and shape up as a better parent for when he did get visits.

[Ethel mermania]

your getting closer, being selfish isnt always a bad thing. getting out of a bad relationship is a smart decision, but its a selfish one.
whether divorce is good or bad for kids is a differnt topic, but the numbers are fairly clear, kids from broken homes do worse than kids from intact ones. however since i think the parents happiness is more important than the kids. i dont have an issue with people getting a divorce, and how divorce is handled.

Why the hell do you think the parents' happiness is more important then the kids?

Geez, I hope you don't have kids. Not if you honestly think it's right to put yourself before them.

i have 2, by the way you chat i assume they are older than you.

ever been on an airplane, you know the oxygen masks that drop in case of decompression? whos mask do you put on first, the adult or the child? you cant take care of the child till you take care of yourself.

if your always angry about your living situation you are in no position to sucessfully raise a child.

[Vamtrl]

Is it a right for parents to get divorced and is it selfish?

This is not a complicated question. Simply put, when parents get divorced, children suffer. Be it through feeling that they are the cause, custody battles, weird boyfriend/girlfriends of parents, confusion, getting trapped in the middle of conflicts, etc. Is it selfish of parents to be divorced knowing this is true?

My parents were divorced when I was young, and still today, I get caught up in the conflicts that they have between each other over who has me when. I don't really care so long as I have a roof over my head, however, I'm a lucky one, many kids/teenagers do not have the luck of having two good parents in this case, I think that it is inherently selfish for parents to get divorced, however, it is often the better solution, what about you NSG?

If they are at the point of divorce then they should probably take the final step and sever the relationship. If you think the child will be happy in a house where the parents are constantly fighting then you are very mistaken.

[Right-Wing Anarchy of Egoism]

your getting closer, being selfish isnt always a bad thing. getting out of a bad relationship is a smart decision, but its a selfish one.
whether divorce is good or bad for kids is a differnt topic, but the numbers are fairly clear, kids from broken homes do worse than kids from intact ones. however since i think the parents happiness is more important than the kids. i dont have an issue with people getting a divorce, and how divorce is handled.

Why the hell do you think the parents' happiness is more important then the kids?

Geez, I hope you don't have kids. Not if you honestly think it's right to put yourself before them.

You know getting a divorce is often for the well-being of the people in the former relationship, yes? It's not healthy to be around someone you've grown to despise. Maybe I think it's selfish of you to expect them to suffer each other for the illusion of perfection.

No, divorce is not for the well being of the children. If no one is being abused, divorce is immoral and should not be allowed. The couple should work through their problems (which is always possible), instead of quitting and ruining their children's lives.

To be quite honest, after reading your views, I would be more concerned about my own kids if I were you.

[Giovenith]

You know getting a divorce is often for the well-being of the people in the former relationship, yes? It's not healthy to be around someone you've grown to despise. Maybe I think it's selfish of you to expect them to suffer each other for the illusion of perfection.

No, divorce is not for the well being of the children. If no one is being abused, divorce is immoral and should not be allowed. The couple should work through their problems (which is always possible), instead of quitting and ruining their children's lives.

One of the key components of raising healthy children is for the parents to be able to cooperate and collaborate with each other. If they can't do that, they can't help their children, because they're too busy being angry with seeing each other every day. There are plenty of divorced couples who, when no longer burdened with the misery of living together, are able to better communicate and assist their kids. Some couples remain friends, even if they're not in love. They are not required to be in love or live together to raise a child, all that is required is that they both love the child and are able to peacefully make decisions to better that child's future. Some people can do that under one roof, others can only do it under separate. If they're mature and smart about it, it is not going to ruin the child's life. It will be difficult, but the child can move on, kids are lot stronger than you think. Divorce does not destroy everyone.

[Naretion]

If no one is being abused, divorce is immoral and should not be allowed.

You do realize everyone in the world has a different set of "morals" that each other right? To set logic through morals is a really efficient to do things.

[Ethel mermania]

No, divorce is not for the well being of the children. If no one is being abused, divorce is immoral and should not be allowed. The couple should work through their problems (which is always possible), instead of quitting and ruining their children's lives.

One of the key components of raising healthy children is for the parents to be able to cooperate and collaborate with each other. If they can't do that, they can't help their children, because they're too busy being angry with seeing each other every day. There are plenty of divorced couples who, when no longer burdened with the misery of living together, are able to better communicate and assist their kids. Some couples remain friends, even if they're not in love. They are not required to be in love or live together to raise a child, all that is required is that they both love the child and are able to peacefully make decisions to better that child's future. Some people can do that under one roof, others can only do it under separate. If they're mature and smart about it, it is not going to ruin the child's life. It will be difficult, but the child can move on, kids are lot stronger than you think. Divorce does not destroy everyone.

on an individual basis your right, but when we look at the large numbers, well most
kids of divorce do OK too, but the odds of a poor outcome increase substantially simply because of divorce

http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/ ... dren_.html

[The Flood]

your getting closer, being selfish isnt always a bad thing. getting out of a bad relationship is a smart decision, but its a selfish one.
whether divorce is good or bad for kids is a differnt topic, but the numbers are fairly clear, kids from broken homes do worse than kids from intact ones. however since i think the parents happiness is more important than the kids. i dont have an issue with people getting a divorce, and how divorce is handled.

True. I suppose when I hear "selfish" i consider it more of an insult to the person and it being a way of calling the person "bad". So I suppose yes in that case it would be selfish, but by no means bad, which is how I interpreted the question of this thread.

No, selfishness is by definition, bad. Selfishness is not simply doing something for one's self, it is doing something for one's self without regard for others.

[Right-Wing Anarchy of Egoism]

True. I suppose when I hear "selfish" i consider it more of an insult to the person and it being a way of calling the person "bad". So I suppose yes in that case it would be selfish, but by no means bad, which is how I interpreted the question of this thread.

No, selfishness is by definition, bad. Selfishness is not simply doing something for one's self, it is doing something for one's self without regard for others.

Selfishness is being concerned, sometimes excessively or exclusively, with concern for oneself or one's own advantage, pleasure, or welfare, regardless of others.

Source: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictiona ... 1408827003
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/selfish

Where's the evil here?

[Naretion]

True. I suppose when I hear "selfish" i consider it more of an insult to the person and it being a way of calling the person "bad". So I suppose yes in that case it would be selfish, but by no means bad, which is how I interpreted the question of this thread.

No, selfishness is by definition, bad. Selfishness is not simply doing something for one's self, it is doing something for one's self without regard for others.

I don't know about that. Ethel made some good sense with what he said. I also just checked some dictionaries to see if any definitions actually refer to selfishness in that negative way and I couldn't find any. Could you perhaps provide a source to a dictionary that defines it in that negative way?

[The Flood]

Why the hell do you think the parents' happiness is more important then the kids?
Geez, I hope you don't have kids. Not if you honestly think it's right to put yourself before them.

No, divorce is not for the well being of the children. If no one is being abused, divorce is immoral and should not be allowed. The couple should work through their problems (which is always possible), instead of quitting and ruining their children's lives.

To be quite honest, after reading your views, I would be more concerned about my own kids if I were you.

Yeah? Why's that?

[The Flood]

Wait, disregard.